Choices Grown-Ups Make

Don't tell people how old you are. That doesn't mean you're not a baby. We know some full grown senior babies. Medicare babies. AARP babies.

It's not a function of your chronological age. And so, we're going to talk about the fact that you've got to make the right choices. You'll know you're growing up when you're willing to admit you still have some growing up to do. Hello, and thanks for stopping by for today's Destined for Victory, where we feature the preaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard. You know, all of us have some areas in which we need to grow and mature.

So, here's something to keep in mind as you follow along with today's message. No one can be spiritually mature and emotionally immature at the same time. You'll hear that idea expressed more than once over the next twenty minutes or so. That's a great lesson to take with you as you press on towards your high calling in Christ.

Now remember, you're always invited to pay us a visit at pastorpaul.net. Where you can hear any recent Destined for Victory message on demand, including today's. That's pastorpaul.net.

Now, let's listen closely to Pastor Paul's Destined for Victory message. Choices grown-ups make. The word. Is here to tell us who God wants us to be for His kingdom's sake. Jesus said, Seek first the kingdom and the righteousness of God, and then everything you need.

God's got you covered. But why put your stuff out there? I need a Bentley. No, you don't. You need to do the will of God, and then you need to get your money in order so that eventually you can drive however you want to drive.

But first things first, the kingdom is more important. And so that's part of growing up, just learning to be comfortable with who God made you, stop trying to be other people, and focus on serving other people with excellence.

So we're going to move on here in chapter 4, and I'm going to talk now from the first part of what I'm calling choices, grace. Grown-ups make. Since we're talking about becoming spiritually adult. Spiritually mature. People are saying, outcha already over here.

Now it's time for us to talk about. Choices grown-ups make. Since we're getting To a place of maturity. Look with me at verse 17. Paul says, So I tell you this.

and insist on it in the Lord. He's being very strong. I insist on it in the Lord that you no longer live as the Gentiles do. and the futility of their thinking. That's as far as I'm going to get today.

I'll pick it up next time. But this is as far as I'm going to get. Paul says, I tell you this and insist on it in the Lord that you no longer live as the Gentiles do in the futility of their Thinking. In the last message, I mentioned that maturity isn't a function of age. If you recall, I said it doesn't matter how old you are.

You can be mature at that age or you can be immature at that age. How many know there are some kids who are coming along pretty good because they're being taught well and they're building character. And although they're in their teens or whatever it is, you can see maturity developing in their life. And when they come to know the Lord, that continues spiritually just as it's happening emotionally. But by the same token, you can be immature in your teens, twenties, thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, seventies.

Eighties. Nine days. You can be immature. It's not a function of, don't tell people how old you are. That doesn't mean you're not a baby.

We know some full-grown senior babies. Medicare babies. AARP babies. It's not a function of your chronological age. And so, we're going to talk about the fact that you've got to make the right choices.

A lot of us remember For the time being, the chain no longer exists. I've heard in the wind that there was some billionaire, somebody who was thinking about trying to bring the chain back. But there was a chain toys or us stores all over. And y'all remember that commercial that they used to play back when the chain was strong and in its healthy time? Y'all remember I'm a Toys R Us kid?

I don't want to grow up, was the first line. I don't want to grow up. I'm a Toys R Us kid. They got a million toys at Toys R Us that I can play with. From bikes to trains to video games.

It's the biggest toy store there is. They say, gee, we is. I don't want to grow up. Cause maybe if I did I couldn't be Our toys are us kids. That was a fun Commercial, see the kids and hear the jingle.

That was fun. You know what's not fun? When you gotta live. With a Toys R Us kid. Cause some of us are still.

if the truth be told. Still wanting to play rather than get serious. Still wanting to do what you feel like instead of what you need to do. Still wanting your way to be the way, my way, or the highway. And if I don't get my way, I'm a throw a fit.

And we still got it going on in full grown, chronologically full grown people. Still acting the same old spoiled way. And see, we just gotta be real, and we gotta own the fact that you've gotta tell people. That are not making the right choices. I don't care how wonderful you think you are, you're nothing but a big kid, and you need to grow up.

You need to grow up emotionally, you need to grow up spiritually. In fact, I often say it, I have to say it in these days. You can't become spiritually mature if you are emotionally immature. They cancel each other out. There's no way.

You can be spiritually mature and you just haven't grown up first. Because, what does the word call you to? It calls you to surrender. Surrender is a function of grown folks. You don't surrender when you're a big spoiled kid.

You don't surrender. You want your way. You throw a fit. Y'all remember that?

Well, some of us boomers, I don't know the younger generations, y'all will have to tell me later. We grew up in. In days where every now and then you would be out at the store with your mother. And you would see some kid. from another family.

Take a fit. In a store? I'm talking about boomer days now. Y'all just listen. Because we boomers can relate to this and take a fit.

And back in those days, when we saw a child take a fit, like throw a tantrum, throw themselves on the floor. Let me date myself in F.W. Woolworth. Oh, the younger generations don't know what I just said. I need some old help.

F.W. Woolworth. I'd be at War Work with my mother. And some kids in the toy aisle of FW Woolworth just been told they can't take home what they want to take home, and they pull in clothes and throw themselves on the floor. Back in my day, if we were coming down that aisle, I would just stop and back up.

I was starting back up because back then in the sixties. I knew what was gonna happen. I said in the 60s, don't y'all write me no letters, no emails. I'm not reading that. They go pastor supporting child abuse.

I am not. I'm telling you what happened in the 60s before we discovered things that we now call child abuse.

Now, there's genuine child abuse. There's always been that. But nowadays they call a simple spanking in certain settings child abuse. And that's a debate for another time. We're not going there either.

But back then, it wasn't abuse. Back then, there was no number we were given to call. I'm just trying to help you all let me stay in something. I was a kid, I was born in 57.

So, in the 60s, yeah, I'm in the store with my mother, and I see this little kid throw a fit. And I knew what was gonna happen. I just back up. Because the mother would say, No, you didn't. Embarrass me out here.

NFW Woolworth. And she would pick that child up by the first thing she could grab. Didn't matter what it was, just any old. thing would do. And there was a swap for every.

Syllable. Didn't I tell you, and when that mother got through. The kid got saved right in FW Warwork. Let's pause right there for a minute, but don't go away just yet. We have more of today's Destined for Victory message coming up next.

We're so thankful for listening to friends and partners like you who do support Destined for Victory with your prayers and financial support. You are a big part of the reason why our Media Ministry continues to reach the world for Christ. If you'd like to make a safe and secure donation today, please stop by our website, pastorpaul.net, or give us a call at eight five five three three nine five five zero zero. That's 855-339-5500. One of the hardest lessons to learn is that life is not about you.

Now, for the book of Ephesians, here's the second half of today's Destined for Victory message. Choices grown-ups make. I'm trying to help you understand. It's not cute. When you don't get the memo, that life is not going to revolve around you.

So, parents, even in these days, okay, so there's much less corporal punishment going on. I'm not saying we need to get back to do parent as best you can, do what you need to do. If you pair it well, you won't have to do much swatting, if any, at all. That's my contention. You can disagree, you have the right to be wrong.

No, I've said many times before. I remember I had to give my daughter one spanking when she was very small. One, because we had told her a couple of times, and finally, if you do that again, daddy's gonna have to get you. And she was just doing what she was doing, and it just slipped her mind for a minute. And then I had to be a man of my word.

And so I just gave her a quick spanking. It was quick and done. And she got the message. It was good. Her brother, who was two years.

younger than her He heard about it. He was good. He likes, Pop, you ain't gonna have to worry about me. Gotcha. Never had to spank the boy.

I think his mama gave him a few little You had to talk with her. But the fact is, we would take our children on planes and what have you on our vacations, what have you. Everybody was talking about our kids like they were angels. I said, no, they're not angels. They just got home training.

People would walk by our road on the plane. I can't believe they're sitting there with their little coloring books or whatever they were doing. Act like we had step for kids. No, they real kids. But they know that they don't come out in public.

And They were raised by people who just understood. If I raise them right in private, I don't have to worry about them in public. And so I'm coming after spiritual and emotional Toys R Us kids in this message. You're going to have to make some better choices. Is the whole point.

Here's the first thing I want you to note: maturity doesn't happen by chance, only by choice. Maturity doesn't happen by chance, only by choice. It's the only way you grow up. Spiritually and emotionally, you got to make choices to do it. Nobody will ever wake up one day and be surprised and say, I can't believe it.

I am spiritually and emotionally Grown up. It's not gonna j luck up on you. You have to say, it's time for me to put away childish things. What did Paul tell us? When I was a child.

There were certain actions and certain words and certain behaviors that went along with that. But when I became by choice. A full grown adult. Male or female. I had to put some things away.

Well, it's still true as it was in Paul's day. It has to be a choice. that we make. In that regard, it's a lot like love. You know, some people in Western hemisphere societies, we just think love.

That is tied to feelings and emotions, and fantasy is so fun. Yeah, and it seems fun, like the Toys R Us theme song seems fun. But when you live with somebody that's supposed to be grown and they still throwing fits, it's no longer fun. And love, the fantasy thoughts of love, you know, people love saying stuff like, it was love at first sight. No, it wasn't.

Whatever happened at first sight. Thrilled you perhaps. But it wasn't love. Pastor, you don't know. Yes, I do.

It wasn't love. Fantasy, maybe. Hormones, maybe. Lust of the eye, maybe. But it was not.

Love. I looked across a crowded room. And my eyes fell. Upon an individual. That somehow I knew I would one day marry.

Okay.

Somehow you knew that. Guess what? They gonna have to co sign it. You ever tried to claim somebody who's not claiming you back? Come on, Lemma.

I want to help you understand this. You can claim all you want. When I got saved in the 70s, and we were all teenagers coming up, the young people getting saved, I told you that story: how we come in church, and my dad taught the saints how to be tolerant of our big afros and the girls and their skinny and all that stuff. And so the saints put up with us while we were growing up. But one of the things, eventually, as we moved into those latter teens, we were starting to talk about, you know, getting married and what have you.

And sometimes people were walking up to another person and saying, the Lord told me you're my spouse. That started happening in the church I was growing up in. It happened more than a few times. We had a growing youth ministry, and they started talking: the Lord told me. And And so it was like, wait.

God talks to me too, and he hasn't said anything. I hear from him too. I'm saved like you. He hadn't said a thing. Until he says something.

You can just hold on to that. Because I'm not acting on your word. But we just love these thoughts. I remember that was a time I thought I saw somebody, and I thought the Lord told me that was my wife. I remember that in the 70s.

But fortunately, I didn't go say it.

Sometimes you just got to just live through something. I thought this. Comma, but. And you just gotta just gotta understand. There's no such thing as it was love at first sight.

Why is that? Why am I saying that? Because of the next thing I want you to jot down: love is informed, not ignorant. Love is informed, not ignorant. It couldn't have been love because you hardly know their name.

And certainly, even if you know their name, you don't know who it is really. And in order for it to be love You gotta know who they are really. because your love has to go deeper. Than the parts of them that are not gonna be toys or us fun. Trying to help you understand now, because I don't care how infatuated you are on that enchanted evening.

There's coming a time When if you keep Hanging out with a person You're going to see some stuff, you're going to hear some stuff, you're going to learn some stuff that makes you back up like I did in Woolworth. And say, wait, what is this? That I'm looking at. What is this that I'm hearing? What kind of values just came out of your mouth?

Because love has got to be informed, and then the love has got to be bigger than the problem. That's why I tell you young adults, for God's sake, do not. Date only in romantic settings. You might every now and then want to have a nice little impressive romantic You know, I'm taking you out for your birthday or whatever, and you take them to this real nice restaurant and what have you, and they, you know, you got well, you gotta make the reservation in advance, and the lights are low, and the flame on the candle is flickering in their face while you all dine and talk. That's fun, that's toys are us fun, but you're not getting the information you need in order to know whether this is somebody you want to prayerfully consider joining your life with.

I need more information. That flame needs to go somewhere. Y'all need to turn these lights up. I need to know who this is really. I'm trying to help somebody.

Yeah, everybody looked good. Just took a shower, got on some clothes, you laid out the. You laid out your outfit just right. It hits your form in flattering ways. And you tell a roommate or family member: have what you think it is.

Oh, you're gonna knock him dead.

Well, that's the problem. They don't need to be dead. They need to be wide awake. Love. What am I dealing with here?

Some, and I've told you over the centuries, people love it. It's one of the Pastor Paulisms I hear about all over the country. They say, Oh, I love it when you talk about that dinner trying to impress them. I say, Yeah, because it's true. You out there at the restaurant perpetrating a fraud.

Looking your best, smelling your best, won't even laugh your regular laugh. You know good and well, you ignorant, and you loud, and you lay on the floor.

Now you won't even laugh your crack up laugh. They say something funny, you see that they're like, Hey, what are you doing? Perpetrating them, they need to arrest you. Romantic love should be an informed love. If you're listening to day and you're dating for the purpose of marriage, be sure you're making wise choices.

Physical attraction is not a healthy substitute for relational compatibility. You know, Destined for Victory could not exist without the faithful prayers and financial support of friends like you and partners like you. You've been the lifeblood of this media ministry since its inception, and it's because of you that we can share the gospel of Jesus Christ with people all over the world. For your generous gift today, we want to share our brand new booklet, Grown Up Faith. If you long to move towards a greater level of spiritual maturity, a more intimate walk with Jesus, get a copy of this booklet for yourself as soon as you can.

It's filled with great, practical, biblical advice on how to grow your faith the way God intended. You'll be challenged to embrace who you are in Christ and show some key steps to learning how to operate in who He designed you to be. Again, that's grown-up faith yours today by request for your most generous donation to Destined for Victory. Give by phone by calling 855-339-5500. That's eight five five three three nine fifty five hundred.

Or by visiting pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. or by mailing your gift to Destined4Victory. Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California, 94538. Maturity requires that we think beyond our appetites. Feelings.

And impulses. Just because you're saved doesn't mean all of your appetites, all of your feelings, all of your impulses can be trusted because you still live in a body of flesh. And we are not to be governed by our flesh, but we have to crucify it constantly. That's next time when we continue our message, Choices Grown-Ups Make. But until then, remember.

He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.