Make sure you're investing in your own happiness. I call it being your own CEO, chief enjoyment officer. Make sure you are your own chief enjoyment officer. I'm not looking for somebody else so I can enjoy my life. I'm gonna enjoy my life.
If you wanna hang with me while I'm enjoying it, come on. Hello, and thanks for stopping by for today's Destined for Victory, where we feature the preaching ministry of Pastor Paul Shepard. Everyone wants to be happy. To find that happiness, some will marry, some will divorce, and unfortunately, some will even take their own lives. But in each of these cases, we're depending on someone or something to make us happy.
Today, you'll be reminded that it's not your spouse's job to make you happy, it's yours.
Now remember, you're always invited to visit us at pastorpaul.net, where you can hear any recent Destined for Victory message on demand, including today's. That's pastorpaul.net.
Now, listen closely to Pastor Paul's Destined for Victory message: Priorities for Victorious Singles. In the case of emotional priorities being taken care of. Let me just give you some practical suggestions. Make sure you're investing in your own happiness. I call it being your own CEO, chief enjoyment officer.
Make sure you are your own chief enjoyment officer. I'm not looking for somebody else so I can enjoy my life. I'm going to enjoy my life. If you want to hang with me while I'm enjoying it, come on. But be your own CEO.
I'm not looking to hire a CEO. You're not looking to hire a chief enjoyment officer. Yeah, I need you to come in because, see, I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do. I'm not having any fun. I need you to come in here and take care of this.
Nobody's walking around looking for somebody boring to beef up. And if they are, don't fool with them, because that means that's one of their issues. They like going around finding projects.
So they can fix him up in their image and after their likeness. And then they can control you. I just went deep and you didn't know it. You find somebody who loves what's jacked up about you, stay away from them. That's different.
I didn't say people who love you. That's good. If somebody loves you. And they're willing, out of love for you, to walk with you. But there are people who only like you when you're messed up.
Because they have issues. And they need something to control. And they know you with all your issues, you will just say, okay, what do I need to do to get fixed? And time they get through with you, now they feel like you are their property. Don't let somebody come into your life and light it up.
Do you light up my life syndrome? Young folk don't even know what that means anyway. But you middle-aged and older folk, you understand. You light up my life. Used to be a love song back in the 70s and all that, and people were singing it at their weddings.
You light up my life. You give me hope to carry on. And so You light up my days, you fill my nights with song. It was a pretty song. But you can't go around looking for somebody to light up your life.
Why? Because if they light up your life, they own the light bulb. No one else can own your light bulb. No, when they meet you single, They ought to come into a brightly lit home. You say, Welcome on in when they come into your life.
Welcome on in. Lights all on. See everything. Yeah. Because if they come with the light, oh, wait, it's so dark in here.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. And they screw in the lights in your life, they own the bulb. And he Trust me, as soon as you work that nerves. They will unscrew their light bulb. Walk out, leave you back in darkness.
You don't want that. Be your own chief enjoyment officer. Find the activities, find the networks, find what works for you, and work it, baby, work it. Work it, enjoy your life. Don't wait for somebody else to travel the world with.
I mean, yeah, it would have been nice if you could have married younger and y'all could travel to see the world together. That's fine. But they didn't show up. Go on and see the world now. If they want to take you again and say, Yeah, I've been, it's nice, let's go.
Lead them saying, Oh, you've been to Paris already. Oh, yeah, yes, beautiful. Come on, let's go. I know where we can stay, I know places we can go. Show them you've been living your life, wasn't sitting around waiting on you.
Living your life. Enjoy it. It's a beautiful world out there. Enjoy it. I love seeing my singles up and go somewhere.
I love them getting together in groups and what have you go somewhere, taking cruises together. Love it. Why they're living life. God made a big Beautiful world, what are you sitting around in your backyard for? Get out there.
Be your own chief enjoyment officer. Learn to laugh, learn to feel good, have fun. Mary heart doeth good like medicine, the Bible says in Proverbs chapter 17. Mary heart does good like medicine. And I mean literally that is true.
Now they're telling you medical scientists are finding out you will live longer if you laugh more. If you enjoy more, some of y'all, you know, you don't have many days left. Sitting around frowning. Stop it! Acting like you were baptized in lemon juice.
Shout out. You ever seen these sour people? Just hard to get them to crack up. I mean something really funny happened. They say, hmm.
Learn to laugh, learn to feel. Feel good. Learn to enjoy yourself. Crack up. Fall out.
Stop being so prim and proper. And worse, negative. pessimistic But all this stuff going on in the world ain't nothing funny. No, there's a whole lot fun. going on.
Yes, there's a lot of tragedy around us, but don't spit on it. your time focusing on that. Find the humor in everyday things. Learn to just look around and observe and just laugh. There's enough around you to keep you cracking up.
I'm telling you, I'm trying to help you now. Just... Look for it, it's right around you. Look at your crazy co- Marcus. Your crazy relatives?
Look at us all around. I just laugh all day long. Especially as a pastor dealing with the kind of stuff I have to deal with, I make sure I find the stuff to laugh about. And you just gotta learn to do it. Focus on those things.
That's what Paul suggested when he said in Philippians chapter 4, he said, you've got to learn what to think about. He said, whatever's good. See what I'm saying? You got to learn to think on those things, the positive things. The things that will reinforce good things in your mind and in your heart.
Don't spend all your time looking for negative things. Invest in your own happiness. Invest in your own feeling good. Create appropriate boundaries for your life. Essential.
Essential. Create appropriate boundaries.
Some of you all have to learn. Here are the boundaries for my life. I don't let people. Cross those boundaries because it takes the quality of my life down. And you have to learn.
Jesus did that. Jesus is our motto in all things. Jesus learned that. Jesus didn't let everybody do everything they wanted. Jesus didn't let everybody have A 24-hour crack in him.
There are times when you read the Gospels when the people are over here, and Jesus sees them, and he heads in the other direction. Why? Because this is not a time. to be available to them. And you'll see him going to a solitary place, it says.
Where he can pray. Where he can meditate. Why is he doing that? Because until I get strengthened over here, I'm not ready for the crowd over there. And some of you all are all worn out.
You have all given out. And your nerves are thin and frayed. And you got to understand, you're not good for anybody when you're like that. Don't let people get you down to that point. You could blow and it wouldn't go well.
There are days when I do everybody a favor by being unavailable. You mean he passed the not available today? No. No, that's the day you get Pastor Kevin or somebody else. You're not getting me that day.
If you get me that day, it won't go well. I had a group of friends years and years ago. I used to spend Monday nights, a lot of Monday nights with them. We'd go to Applebee's or something and sit and watch the Monday night game and kick it and all like that. And there were some Monday nights after I preached several times on the weekend.
And I'm totally giving out. And some Monday nights and they start clowning and acting up. And you know, guys, they like to rag on each other when we get together and all that. And there's days that's fine, that's good. There's some days like, uh-uh, don't push the wrong button.
Not gonna go well. That wouldn't be good in the headline. Pastor fighting at Applebee's. Because he went in for the wrong button and I clocked him. That wouldn't go right.
And I used to tell him, I said, y'all be careful now. I'm not saved some Mondays, I'm just not saved. Try me out Tuesday. Monday, I'm back slitting, so just. And they learn, they they laugh, learn, you know.
Just watch yourself, that's all. Everybody's got to know your limits. You gotta know when's enough for you. And you got to draw the line and establish boundaries. Because it'll bless your life.
Some of y'all need to learn to say no, just a simple word that'll bless your life. You don't owe the world everything they want. There's some days I'm blessing you by saying no.
Now get out my face. No, no, no. Just practice it. No. No.
I love you? No. There you go. You feeling better already, aren't you? And some of y'all need to learn to say funky sometimes.
Now!
So, emotional. You gotta make sure that you take good care of you. Let's pause right there for a minute, but don't go away just yet. We have more of today's Destined for Victory message coming up next. We want to thank all of you who support Destined for Victory with your prayers and financial support, gifts that help us keep this media ministry going.
And if you'd like to join us in our mission to take the gospel to all corners of the globe, please consider making a safe and secure donation at our website, pastorpaul.net, or give us a call at 855-339-5500. That's 855-339-5500.
Well, before you start a new family, you should do all you can to be at peace with the family into which you were born.
Now, here's the rest of today's Destined for Victory message: Priorities for Victorious Singles. Take good care of you. Nurse yourself back to health when you get freed. Get quiet. Get where you're going to be rejuvenated.
Do that. If you can't take a full vacation, take a daycation. Take a day off and take care of you. Whatever that means for you. If it's going to a game for you, go to the game.
If it's getting your nails dead, they say. Go somewhere, get your nails did, your hair did. Take care a day where you're just gonna pamper you Well, see, that's what I thought my man was going to come into my life and do. Let him find you with your hair already hooked up. You don't want him to see you and he be like, she needs to go to hairdresser.
So, take good care of you. Take good care of you. Tell your neighbor, take good care of you. You're worth it. You're worth taking care of.
They'll know how to take care of you when they come into your life because you've been taking care of you. And you'll know what it looks like. 'Cause you've been doing it. And if they do it wrong, you can correct them. That's not the way.
Because you know, you're used to it. You used to treating yourself well.
So you know what it feels like when others treat you well. If anybody comes in your life and treats you less well You know, that's not the one. You don't even know how to treat somebody. Take good care of you. Just one more area of priorities, I'm done for part one.
Family priorities. I've noticed that a lot of people Have yet to understand how. Family of origin issues. Impact your life moving forward. You gotta get it.
When your family of origin issues are unresolved, you're not going to have a high quality life as you move through the rest of your life. You gotta settle it.
Now, I don't care what kind of family you come from, at a certain point you gotta settle it. I'm not suggesting your family had to be functional. Most of us wouldn't have issues to begin with if our families were totally functional. We almost all came from some level of dysfunction. Very few of you can say, my family of origin was perfect.
Oh, my daddy loved us unconditionally. My mother was nurturing and affirming. My siblings loved one another. We hugged every day before we left. Very few people can say that kind of thing.
Oh, we love, if we could hang out with anybody in the world, we'd hang out with each other. There might be one or two of y'all that can say that. And the rest of us gonna look at you like you crazy. We can't say that that didn't happen.
Somebody who raised you wasn't all there. Yeah. Screws missing. Come on. Siblings, you have one or two siblings where you just shake your head.
Said, did you come out of the same mama I came out of? That's more like regular life. But I'm here to tell you, you cannot move forward into the things God has for you unless you get some things from your family of origin straight. You got to unpack those bags and get that stuff dealt with. Look at your Bible, Jacob and Esau.
You know what happened with them? Jacob tricked his own brother, his twin brother. Out of not only his birthright, but his paternal blessing. The two most important things in his life at that time, and he tricked his brother out of both of them. Then he went on the run.
20 years on the run. From his brother. But one day, God said, I got plans for you, Jacob, big plans. And you can't fulfill them. until you get stuff straight.
And God made Jacob. meet Esau again. Remember that? Time for you to go get it right with your brother. Why?
You can't move on. Till you get it straight.
Some of y'all just want the blood of Jesus to cover everything. No, it covers your mess, but it also empowers you to go get what you did wrong straight. And so there's Jacob hearing, okay, I gotta get it right. And he gets ready. Has his people with him.
and starts heading in the direction of Esau.
Somebody sends word, say, Esau's coming. And he got hundreds of folk with him. And Jacob's like, oh man. Oh, this is it. No, it's not it because God's not finished with you.
In fact, the reason God's making you do this is because He has more ahead of you.
Somebody better hear this. This is a word for you. There's more ahead of you and you'll never experience it. Until you bite the bullet. and go have the most difficult conversation you can imagine having.
You gotta do it. And he heard these folk are coming, and Jacob said, Oh my goodness. And he starts sending gifts ahead. Remember that? Start sending gifts.
Before he meet me, I want him to meet my stuff. And what he didn't know Is God had conditioned Esau By that point. And when they came together. And Jacob starts bowing and scraping and humbling himself, and I'm your servant. Esau said, Man, get up.
He said, I don't need all this stuff from you. I just need my brother. He said, God. has blessed me over these years. You know what I love about that?
Esau is the one, when you last see him, he's been robbed of his blessing. He's been robbed of his birthright. He is bitter, and he is talking about killing his brother. That's his mission in life. When I see him, I'm killing him.
And some of y'all sitting up here looking holy, but you know what that's like. You know what that feeling is like. You may not have resolved it all the way down to murder in your heart, but you sure wanted to get back. With interest. At somebody who's done you wrong.
See, you won't say amen because you don't want us to know it's you.
Some of y'all, that's been your life's mission. And for some of you, It has been a recent, not until time, but way back. Yeah, I remember way back there. I was, some of y'all last week. You were talking about getting somebody.
God said, get it straight. And look at Esau. Last we see him, he's broke, busted, and disgusted. But God has worked with him over the years. And he said, Listen, the Lord has blessed me.
He said, I don't need your stuff, I got plenty of my own. See, God has taken care of him. And now the Lord is finalizing things in both of their lives at this chapter so He can take them both into another new chapter. And some of you all want to start a family. You want to get married and have a family that's functional.
And God says, I can't do that for you because you haven't settled your dysfunctional family stuff yet. And sometimes you got to do that by getting your heart right.
Sometimes you have to watch this.
Sometimes you have to get right with somebody who's dead.
Some of you all have a parent. You got to get right with. They've been dead God knows how many years. You still had to get right with it. I'm going to do that, Pastor.
I can't. Yes, you can. You can write them a letter. You can go to the grave site. I don't care what you have to do.
There's a way you can go settle it. And say what you need to say. I love that song. It's not a spiritual song. But it's good.
Say what you need to say. You got things you gotta say. Say them. I don't care that they dead and can't hear them. Say 'em, you gotta get them out of your heart.
Write the letter. Letter to my dad, let it to my mom, let it to my crazy sister. Cross out crazy. While I'm on it, letter to my ex. 'Cause you can't marry the new one till you get it straight with the old one.
And you might not be able to have a face-to-face, but you got to figure out a way to get it straight. I should have told you about yourself 27 years ago. And I didn't do it. I didn't have a voice back then, but I got one now. And tell them.
Bible says be angry. But don't sin. There's appropriate anger.
Some of you Christians practice sloppy agape, you're always grinning. And there comes a time you gotta stop grinning and tell people what they need to hear. Because it helps heal you. And it gets you ready to move forward with your life. See, people buy into these lies.
Time heals all wounds. No, it doesn't. If you don't properly dress it, Time will only create infection. Time doesn't have a healing property in and of itself. Time, when added to proper action, can bring healing.
But time alone doesn't have the healing.
Some of you are dying on the inside. Because there's stuff you haven't resolved from 5'10. 20, 30 years ago. And you gotta get it done. Make sure your family priorities reflect the kingdom of God.
and you will experience victory in your life.
So many people are dying on the inside. Even Christians who have walked with Jesus for years, they sometimes have past wounds that remain unhealed. If you are still hurting from a past you can't quite forget, if there's bitterness or unresolved conflict in your life, I invite you to contact Destined for Victory so that we can join you in prayer. Use the contact feature at pastorpaul.net to send us your prayer request. That's pastorpaul.net.
You know, destined for victory could not exist without the faithful prayers and financial support of listening friends and partners like you. You've been the lifeblood of this media ministry since its inception, and it's because of you that we can share the gospel of Jesus Christ with people all over the world.
Well, we've got a great resource to share with you today when you make a generous gift to Destined for Victory, introducing our booklet, Grown Up Faith. If you long to move towards a greater level of spiritual maturity and a more intimate walk with Jesus, get a copy of this booklet as soon as you can. You'll be challenged to embrace who you are in Christ and to operate in who He designed you to be. Again, that's grown up faith yours today by request for your generous donation to Destined for Victory. Give by phone by calling 855-339-5500.
That's eight five five three three nine fifty five hundred. Or visit pastorpaul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, California, 94538. I want especially single listeners to understand That God has a plan for you to enjoy fullness. For you to enjoy maturity, for you to enjoy victory.
But in order for that to happen, you really need to look at various areas of your life carefully. If you want to be married and whole, be single and whole. Join us next time for a continuing message Priorities for Victoria Singles. But until then, remember. He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion in Christ.
You are destined for victory.
