Absurd Truth: A Deathly Passenger

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21 plus terms and conditions apply. Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So a naked Florida man was accused of burglarizing a home. Thank heavens they clothed him before his mugshot because nobody wants to see that. This guy's supposed to be 24.

Putnam County. Deputies arrested a Keaton Mercier for burglary and on a warrant for aggravated battery by strangulation. He had a previous conviction. When deputies arrived on the scene, the 24-year-old had put on a pair of britches, pair of underwear, but he refused to leave.

A man came home Sunday evening, found a naked burglar right inside his house. He called the cops. And so this Mercier guy was taken to the hospital because he attacked a previous homeowner. He had to be taken to the hospital, treated for cuts on his arms and legs that he had sustained from breaking into the home. They also suspect that he was pretty high as a kid on drugs. They found all kinds of glass pipes that were in his possession.

So he was arrested. Can you imagine? Man, this is why guns were invented, by the way. I ain't gonna mess with no naked man in my house, breaking into my house. Nope.

That's, no, not gonna happen. Also, a... Okay, this is the one I wanted to talk about yesterday. We ran out of time. So a Florida father was dealing with his son being bullied, and apparently the son was being bullied by another classmate who happened to be a girl. And so what ended up happening, and it's all on video, little girl was bullying the guy's son.

This Florida girl was bullying this Florida man's son. And she was doing it right in front of the dad. Like she was running her mouth in front of other adults because she knew that she was going to be protected.

This is where the chick card comes in, right? So she was like calling them all kinds of invectives and the dad slaps her right on video. Of course, you know, they call the police. The dad goes, I mean, it was battery.

And he said, was it the right thing to do? This is why boys need sisters. Also, that girl needs her ass beat by her parents. And if her parents don't do it, her parents should have their ass beat. So tired of this stuff. If you don't want me raising your kids, you better get them in line in public or I'll step in and do the job that you failed to do as an egg or gamete donor.

Done with it. I really do like all family pharmacy. You know why I like all family pharmacy? Because when I was sick over Thanksgiving, I knew it was strep throat. I knew it was happening. You know why? Because I've had strep throat 11 trillion times.

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21 plus terms and conditions apply. If you like true crime, you'll love the Miracle Files podcast. We share real stories with the suspense of true crime, but we'll leave you with a sense of light and hope. Like the college wrestler who fought a grizzly, the woman who was dead for nearly an hour, or the child lost in a dark mine for days. These are the kind of stories that remind us miracles are real.

Subscribe to the Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles. Do you guys hear the story about this couple on what airline was this? They were on Qatar or Qatar but it's Qatar Airways from Melbourne, Australia to Doha, the Qatari capital and then they were on their way to Venice after that. I don't know why you'd take that leg of a flight.

Good gosh. So they said that Mike Mitchell Ring and Jennifer Colin, they were on this Qatar Airways flight. 10 hours into the flight, a woman leaves the restroom, collapses, kicks the bucket right in front of them. And they were telling an Australian news program.

It's called the current event. They said they were telling them their story. It was their dream trip to Venice, right? So how do you deal with something like this, right? It sounds like they were kind of in the back too, like near the lavatories because if she's coming out of the lavatory, I don't know what kind of plane it was. I'm just assuming, although it sounds like maybe, I mean, because they could have lavatories in the middle of the front and in the back.

I don't know. Anyway, the crew put the dead body in their row. They said, oh, hey, can you, because they were dealing with it. The couple said that they did everything they could.

It was heartbreaking to watch because they couldn't save her. And they said, uh, Mitchell Ring said they looked frustrated and then they looked at me and saw that there was a seat available beside me and my wife on the other side. And they said, can you move over please?

And he just said, okay, no problem. And then they placed the dead body in the chair he was in. So they couldn't even like access the aisle without crawling. They couldn't get up for the remaining four hours. And then they said, when they arrived, they dealt with the body. And Cutter owned by the government, they said in a statement to the press, quote, first and foremost, our thoughts about the family, the passengers sadly passed away on board.

I apologize for any inconvenience or distress the incident may have caused, you know, et cetera. The couple said they were not allowed to change seats for the remainder of the flight. They were told they had to remain seated. Medical staff addressed the body upon landing.

They were not offered any support at all after. They were just the next to dead body for four hours on a flight on their way. Like they're, they're an older couple and they'd saved for this dream vacation and they, what do you do, right? I mean, granted when you're on a plane, there's limited, limited places you can put the body. Why does it got to go in the seat right there? I mean, you got some room in the back. I'm not trying to be mean or crass, but at the same time, that's their responsibility to be prepared. And it's not the responsibility of this couple to babysit the dead body and have it in that row. That's just wild.

What would you have done? Kane? I would ask right away, cause wouldn't they have a spot in the plane that you can put someone who's maybe being unruly or like a Brig or something like that. They don't have any like one little, I think that maybe that should change. You should be able to have like a little hatch and drop somebody down. That's what I'm saying.

Like down in that, where they keep all the luggage in the belly of the plane, maybe or something. I don't know either. I mean, I guess you have to measure out, is it meaner to the family of the dead body or meaner to the people who have to sit next to the dead body?

I don't know. I mean, the person's dead at that point. I mean, it doesn't matter what you do with their body.

I mean, right. Or are we one of those people, like some of my family members who believes that it's still spiritual and it's still alive or something like that. And you got to go and do your Southern graveyard vigil and all that stuff. I don't know. Is that where we're at? But I don't know if I had to be sitting next to the dead body?

Yeah. Who gets the armrest? The arm that needs the rest? That's just me and the dead body and the family of the dead body. The living person. Who gets the extra meal or the extra like peanuts or something?

What are you talking about? Of course the living human being gets the extra meal. I don't know. It seems mean to the family of the dead body. Are they on the flight?

Just to portion someone's food out like that. I'm just saying, I'm just, you know, I just, the whole thing is wild. I don't even know what I would do. I, yeah, that one is, and it, and it, like they're apparently were like, they, the flight attendants did not let them get a different seat. I mean, I don't know.

I don't know how far away the original seat was from the bathroom. You'd think a dead body would get their own row. Yeah.

I don't know. Like, would you, would I be bothered sitting next to a dead body? Oh, hell yes. I don't like sitting next to live people. I don't want to sit next to a dead one.

I have a hard enough time. Don't even ask me my reaction if I have to sit next to someone, especially if it's a dude or an unkempt woman who wears open toed sandals and has dirty feet. It's like, we're not the hobbits going to Mordor, clean it up. You know, I get real weird about this stuff. Like, why couldn't they have just sat her on the toilet in the bathroom? Typically, there are two bathrooms.

You know what I'm saying? Why couldn't you set the person, if it's in the back, there's two bathrooms. Why couldn't you just sit her in one of the bathrooms in the back?

Why did she have to sit next to these people for four hours? Stuff happens to a dead body in four hours, y'all. I mean, and yes, you can put into an airline bathroom. You can put a body there.

I'm just trying to think out loud, right? When does rigor mortis set in? Well, this is where I'm not a coroner or a mortician.

We have a family friend who's a mortician. He can't just put them in a seat at that point. They're all stiff. You can't just put them in a seat. Yeah, like if they're in the aisle too, and you're like pegged in by the dead body, like how do you get out? You got to crawl over that like, what in the world? That's so, I am real, I don't know. Like I said, I don't like sitting next to living people.

Sometimes it includes my own blood. Much less sitting next to a dead person. You know what I'm saying?

I feel like I'm not, see, and you know what, Lorraine just made a good point. Like why not put it in the window seat? I don't know why.

They didn't do that. They did not put the dead body in the window seat or at least, you know, put it in one of the bathrooms. I will say you will have a quiet seat mate. No one's, you know, no one's going to talk your arm off or your ears off. Nobody's going to, you know, talk you to equal death, you know.

And don't your like bowels empty and stuff when you die? Yeah. Like I don't want to sit next to that either, living or dead. I can't imagine. I just, I don't even know how you approach that whole thing.

I don't know. I mean, some people wouldn't mind it. I mean, do you get a free drink out of it? Oh God.

I'm just saying. More than a free drink. If it's cutter airlines, they probably don't have no drinks on their planes, do they? You don't even get, you have to suffer the indignity of being on a dry plane, sitting next to a dead body.

I don't know. I mean, I think I'd rather hang out on the wing, I think. Right? Or I'll go sit in the lab. I'll go do that. I'll be fine. I don't know. I just can't believe that the airline was not better prepared than that.

I mean, I can, but you know, I choose to have a little bit of incredulity. So I just feel so bad for them because they had to go to Venice after that. People who helped bring you the program, it's our friends over at Caltech, the PR 57. It is a 57 from Caltech. And this is a great Florida based company.

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21 plus terms and conditions apply. CBS says free speech led to the holocaust and seems to approve prosecuting insulting speech. The number of illegal border crossings plummets and the right is actually winning the political messaging war for once. I'm Greg Kourambas. Join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We'll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. A break from your smartphone can reboot your mood. I don't know why people have to be told this.

They say now apparently here's how long you need. I think this is so dumb. We're just getting so dumb as a species.

We're smod. And by the way, if you're reading this horrible NPR story that we paid taxes to have written, they buried the lead literally one, two, three, four, five paragraphs in. So it's not even a properly written story.

So you could just discount all of the everything. So they're saying because they don't answer the question in their headline, they just say that you need to take a break. But they don't tell you how long you actually have to take a break for that.

It's good for different people to take breaks. We paid money for NPR to write this dribble. They bury the lead five graphs in.

Learn how to write a story before you pretend to be a journalist. Dear heavens. Malibu beachgoers were warned to avoid six sea lions after more than a dozen were reported in distress. Who made them sick is what I want to know. And can I beat them up? They said 14 of them were in were in distress over the past week.

They said demoic acid toxicity is apparently the cause. Isn't the beach like in California? Isn't there just like nasty?

Yeah. I have a friend that lives in San Diego and they were taking pictures of the beach near them. And it was saying like, don't go. There's like sewage in this area. Like they literally had a side.

I didn't even know that it existed there. California Wildlife Center said that the, uh, there were sea lions in distress over the last three days. They got a lot of calls from them, but they said that the acid it's like contaminated fish, smaller marine life. If they eat toxic algae, it can sicker, sick and bigger animals.

That's essentially what it's all down to. Egg smuggling is on the rise because Americas are facing high prices. Maybe you could just get a chicken. I mean, why are a crypto gambler shot himself on a live stream after he lost $500 in a meme coin investment. I can't believe that you would actually spend $500 on a meme coin. I mean, that's sad, but you know, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. It's sad. Just, you know, be smart.

Don't be dumb. Did you guys hear, this is my favorite story right now. Can I take you back for a moment to, um, go back to when they shut the government? What year was this? They shut the government down under Barack Obama, under Obama, Biden. Remember when they had that big old government shut down and they put like a, Oh my gosh, what are they? Saw horses.

Those little barriers. Is that what they are? Are like, like a saw horse. I don't know what else to call it. I know they have a different name. Like the bike racks or the, no, it's not like a bike rack. It's like the, Oh, it's a barrier, but it looks like a saw horse or a pommel horse. I don't know. You know what I'm talking about with the legs and then the book, the thing sounds right.

Okay. Somebody will tell me and if I see it, great, but you know what I'm talking about? There were photos of them putting those like barriers up at national parks and stuff like that. Remember they shut down the outside, they shut down the outdoors and the government shut down. You can't go to the parks.

The trees are closed. Remember all that? Well, if you'd like that, I got another one for you. So in the, in the, uh, rush to try to create sob stories, I guess, out of all the federal cutting, they came up with a new one. Here's the Washington Post. Long lines and canceled rentals. Firing's bring chaos to national parks.

Trump's purge of federal employees is already harming the visitor experience at national parks across the country. Now they ended up talking about this. Uh, I don't know this. Apparently they said that some of the park workers have the keys to the bathrooms and some people aren't going to be able to use the bathroom or some people, if they're in the bathroom, what if they get, like for instance, they said, uh, we have endless things that have to be secured. Like I have, this guy's talking about how he has keys, uh, talking about how he has keys to the restrooms.

How did people go to the bathroom before they had public restrooms came? It's a wonder out in the woods in nature. It's crazy. They said that the firings are going to cause, uh, disruptions reminiscent of the pandemic.

Shut up. Visitor centers, campgrounds could close or reduce their hours. Uh, they said that some of it, the bulk of it's going to occur in the heavy season. One park has seen immediate impacts. So this is this Washington Post piece and they're talking about like restrooms and things of that nature. And they said, oh, they, you know, they were, they were, uh, uh, teaching park visitors about, um, you know, the history of the public parks and the history of the land, you know, cause heaven forbid you can't Google it.

Uh, you know, I don't know. Maybe you can't, maybe Google's broken and doesn't do that. So it could be, you know, you could break search engines and hide those results.

So you have to have people getting a paycheck and staffing it. I mean, it's like very Atlas Shrugged, but it didn't happen. I just, like someone was saying that, uh, they were complaining about, well, who's going to have the keys to the bathroom if, if they, uh, if they do this and you know, it's, I just, I can't even, I, the fact that we're even having this discussion, I think just underscores the lack of seriousness around this whole entire thing. It, it just there in, in Yosemite, hang on, let me pull this up.

This is the ABC seven. Somebody hung an American flag upside down from El Capitan at the Yosemite national park, the 3000 foot wall of sheer granite, most fabled rock face. Somebody hung a flag upside down. Kane, what did we learn about the left had particular thoughts about hanging flags upside down.

Do you got, you remember what those were? Especially as it pertains to, uh, like Supreme court justice's wives for sure. But I'm, I'm just curious. W weren't we told that that was like a insurrection or something to have the flag upside down or it was evil to have the flag upside on something to that effect. It's bad, but now it's okay. Again.

Yeah. They said, Oh, parks. Employees are scared that parks are going to get closed down because you cannot operate the parks without people cleaning the bathrooms.

That's an actual line in abc seven.com ABC seven eyewitness news covers Southern California. They said that they, they can't operate the parks without the people cleaning the bathrooms. I mean, like OMG bears don't even wipe those bears.

Don't wipe. I mean, does a bear wipe in the woods? I don't know.

Does, if you didn't see it, then it didn't happen. I guess. Right. It's like, you know, Schrodinger's dog. I don't know.

Schrodinger's cat. I don't know. Same thing. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana lashes, absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, how to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step one, go to chumbacassino.com, chumbacassino.com.

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