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Absurd Truth: Revenge of the Nerds

Dana Loesch Show / Dana Loesch
The Truth Network Radio
February 4, 2025 3:41 pm

Absurd Truth: Revenge of the Nerds

Dana Loesch Show / Dana Loesch

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February 4, 2025 3:41 pm

Elon Musk's DOGE assembles a group of nerds to look for redundancies in USAID to remove government waste. Meanwhile, New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy admitted to harboring an illegal alien in his home.

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18 plus terms and conditions apply. Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Well, this is a Florida woman. A stripper was busted for battery with a banana at a 7-11. This feels like a punk song. Her name...

There's a lot of vowels in here. Kalta Avia Turner got into a verbal altercation. She's 22, looks 80. Got into a verbal altercation with a 30-year-old woman. They began exchanging derogatory comments and then Turner became irate, picked up a banana from the cashier, threw it in the victim's face.

They said that the airborne fruit struck the employee on the cheekbone and left a minor abrasion. First off, if I was a cop responding to that, I would be like, it's a banana. You know, get over yourself. Come on. But then I would also be like, listen, Castlevania Turner. This is, you know, no, this is wrong.

You can't be coming up acting a fool like this. Uh, they said that she is an employer at a gentleman's club cane called Baby Dolls. Yeah. Only gentlemen attend. Uh, yeah, gentleman's club.

What was that, uh, what's that movie, that horror film about that possessed doll? It? No. Chucky? No. What did it start? Oh, shoot.

I'm not going to be able to move until I do this. Horror movie doll. Oh, gosh.

What is it called? Uh, not Megan. It's an older one. Oh, Annabelle. That's what I was thinking of. Like, so when you're talking about the gentleman's club called Baby Dolls, do you mean like Annabelle? So, or Chucky.

You could also add that. Uh, anyway, she was busted. She, uh, also stole a lot. She's was already on probation, so she violated it because she stole a whole bunch of stuff from Walmart, almost a thousand dollars. Uh, and so she, that she was charged with a felony and then she got in trouble because she did not perform her 75 hours of community service or pay her court fines. So she was already free on a thousand dollar bond when she got in trouble for the banana battery. She's just a mess.

This chick is a mess. Uh, also, let's see, a Florida man steals a woman's purse with a one month old kitten inside. The kitten was recovered safely.

Everybody's fine. Why are you keeping your kitten in a purse? There's, you know, also that. Uh, and then a Florida man decided that he was going to steal a vehicle, uh, from, uh, a car lot. He was, he, it was in Vero Beach. He had his loan denied. And so he said he spent his last 50 bucks on the Uber there. So he decided to steal the car. It was a 2024 Hyundai Tucson. And they said that the man, Jason Vargasco, was angry after he was turned down. He decided to leave the lot when he found the keys in the ignition. And, uh, he got in trouble because guess what? The car had a GPS locator. And they were, yeah, he did get in trouble for that. Yeah.

Uh, tomorrow I'll tell you about the Florida woman who had a first date commemorative brick that she threw in her ex's house. We have more to come as we have headlines on the way as we move our partners to bring you the program. It's our friends over at Keltech, the PR57. I don't know, there isn't a lighter, thinner 5.7 that's on the market. Uh, the Keltech 5.7, this is a game changer.

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18 plus terms and conditions apply. As we dug into USAID, it became apparent that what we have here is not an apple with a worm in it, but we have actually just a bowl of worms. There is no apple. You've just got to basically get rid of the whole thing. It's beyond repair. So really none of this could be done without the full support of the president. I went over it with him in detail and he agreed with that we should shut it down.

I actually checked with him a few times. Are you sure? I'm like, yes. So we're shutting it down. You know why I like nerds? Welcome back. Dana Lash with you.

We're at the bottom of this first hour. You know why I like nerds? Because they're not dumbasses. By the way, I'm in a very George Carlin mood today, so please do not mistake me for Dora the Explorer and set your child in front of the simulcast that you might be watching, Channel 347, DirecTV, the chats at Rumble, because they'll walk away with very rebellious tendencies and they might have a colorful vocabulary. That's my only vice in life.

Hands to sky. That said, you know why I like nerds? It's because nerds are just who they are. And I don't say nerd like it's a pejorative.

I think it's just one of the highest compliments that you can bestow upon your fellow man. Because nerds get it done, right? If you got something that you need to figure out, ask a nerd.

If something's bothering you and you can't, you know, you got to find a way around it, ask a nerd. Because the nerds know. That's what they do.

They eat, they maybe sleep or wait, and then they just do stuff. That's what they do. Nerds figure it out. So Elon Musk, I should have played Beastie Boys, Sound of Science, actually, coming into this. That's what we should have played.

We should just start this whole segment over, even though it's live radio, because that would have been the right track to play. The group of nerds that he has assembled, they are going around, this is the funniest thing, they're going around and firing everybody at USAID. They're trying to figure out, they're looking for redundancies, and they are dismantling, tearing apart all of the government waste. They have six dudes that they know of, and they're all ages 19 to 25. Three of them are still in college. They got one guy, for instance, who is going through like an A-suite level clearance for their work.

I'm like looking at some of this. They can work on the agency's top floor, they can access all physical spaces, IT systems, etc. And they've been going through and just slicing and dicing. One of them is a programmer. They're all basically engineers at some point. They're all nerds.

And one of them wrote about it over at Substack saying, why Doge? I gave up a seven-figure salary to save America. Yeah, because he's gonna have a ton of jobs after. Dude, you're like 22 years old. You're gonna be able to have your pick of all the broads and cash in the world when you're done.

All right, so you gotta look at it as a stepping stone. You'll have a different girl on your arm every night. All right, and you're gonna be loaded with cash.

You're gonna be good. So, they started going after you. I'm dying laughing at this because God love them.

They're such nerds. I think this one guy's arms. I mean, I like to think that I'm big and I want SpongeBob jerk arms. You know, my whole life I've tried to work out to get like super cut and super giant.

It's not happening for me. It's not in my DNA makeup. My metabolism is too fast. This guy has arms thinner than mine. This sweet little 19-year-old baby face, little baby boy.

He's got arms thinner than mine. But you know what? He's literally a grim reaper. When you get him in this stuff and let him loose, he's apparently interned at Neuralink.

And he's listed as an expert and he's just going through and just jettisoning people out of this department. I love it. God love them. They're all nerds.

It's all so great. And they're going through and it's making the left so mad. What do their 20-year-olds do? Look at that pencil neck that they just made the vice chair over at the DNC. What the hell does this guy do? He can't even spell words right. He doesn't know how the government works.

And he just gets up there and blows hot air out of his backside and everyone's like, oh, so great. Look, it said something. They're actually doing stuff. I don't even know what this one guy does. I was reading his resume. He does super nerdy stuff.

That's all I know. I don't even know half of what the software is. I'm not even going to pretend. So anyway, he's got literally at his command a bunch of a nerd army. I mean, that's America, you know, having a nerd army go through.

It's Revenge of the Nerds, totally. So they're going through and they're just slicing and dicing everything. And it is just a beautiful thing to see. And the left is livid. Oh, my gosh, they're livid. They're so mad. And they don't know what to make of the nerds. Have you seen them trying to figure this out? The best they can do is, can you believe these 20-something-year-olds have access to these sensitive things? And you mean the sensitive things that you've been redirecting to communists in order to take down the U.S. from the inside, that kind of stuff? I got less of a problem with these cats.

I don't have a problem with this at all. Oh, they're just mad. They can't believe because they because Democrats, can I just say, for all the talk about youth vote, Democrats hate the youth. And I say this as someone who is raised in a Democrat family. I did not meet a Republican, hands to sky. The first Republican I ever met in my life was in college. I was, you're in a Democrat town, Democrat family, everybody who knows a Democrat. I literally did not meet a Republican in person until I was in college.

Isn't that weird? Think about the lack of diversity there, right? So if you stray off of that ideological plantation, so to speak, the left hates you. They hate conservative youth, particularly. But they don't really like any of the youth.

That's when Kamala Harris was like, oh, they're horrible. That's why they're in dorms, et cetera, et cetera. They just don't like the youth. They use them as a means to an end. They know they don't vote. That's why they screwed them over when they promised everyone, oh, you're getting free college, whatever. Oh, by the way, we changed our mind after you all voted for us.

Whoops. No, they're actually being put to work here. It's so great.

And again, the left does not know how to deal with it because I think they're half afraid that these nerds will come after them. I mean, God love them. They got acne and everything.

Just God bless America. It's amazing. I mean, they have their little suits, they have their little photos. It's so great. I mean, I don't mean to infantilize them, but I just find it incredibly ironic that for all the talk about the youth that the left gives lip service, these nerds are working for a smaller government, not bigger government. It's a fabulous thing.

So yes, they've been going through and just gutting everything. And I mean, it's a great thing. I kind of want to be a nerd now. I want to grow up to be a nerd, Kane.

That's what I want to do. I think that's great. So it's a team of 20 something, these nerds. They said that with this, oh, they called them the left, the worst that they can do is to call them the goon squad. They went into, so Office of Personnel Management, that's OPM, that's essentially HR for the federal government. So if that makes sense, it's basically, I think that's right to say it's HR for the federal government, OPM, right? That's yeah. And they were appearing in meetings and on calls where they made these workers go over the code they had written to justify their jobs. That's per wired. So they said, and all these people are telling the press, can you believe that they're actually making, testing us to see if we can do our job?

Yeah, I actually can. Why is that such a shocking thing to you? Yeah, yeah, it should have been, it shouldn't happen in the entire time. It's kind of wild that you think that it shouldn't. So I, they said that they're an OPM expert, is how they're listed. But I love what they're doing, because they're going through and they found that if you control HR, and you can get into the payment system for the Treasury, then you can go through, find any government program that has not been authorized, and you can just eliminate it. See, that's the problem of doing all this stuff without any kind of actual explicit authorization. If you are like some kind of third party entity, and you got a government grant, and you know, you got the goon squad, I love it, going in there saying, well, we don't understand the point of this right here, then guess what?

Gone. And there's nothing anybody can do about it. It's a beautiful thing. I love that you had over 500 members of Congress, you had all these legislators out there that didn't do this. You know why? Because they're not just a handful of tech bros, tech bro nerds. The tech bro nerds are not beholden to anybody like these lawmakers are. They don't care. They really don't care.

Now, what's going to happen is if there is something that they eliminate that has been authorized by statute, well, then there's a process that that entity that had their funding eliminated that they'll have to go through. I bet that just as another loophole, they got to go there and I'm fine with that. I think that there should be such overlay of all of this stuff. But I love it. I mean, the oldest is 25 years old. Parents feel proud if your kids are one of the goon squad.

I don't even think that that's like a, I know that the left means that is a pejorative, but it's not. This department, and I, and this kind of gets into one of the concerns that I had from the beginning. Because I love the idea of having this, you know, basically glorified auditor.

I like that idea. But it you also had to constantly think of the process of going through Congress. Because if it's, again, Congress controls the power of the purse, and you if you're going to eliminate something, you got to go through Congress unless, unless it's been by EO.

Or it's one of these, oh, here's a government grant through whatever agency. See, Democrats have done that for so long, they never figured out or ever realized that that could be weaponized to work against them. And now it is.

And it's a beautiful thing. They're all saying like, what's some of the stuff that they're saying? Oh, Chuck Schumer has been just going crazy.

But not as crazy as what's-her-face. Ilhan Omar, she's going after USAID. She's shrieking over all of this stuff.

Listen to this audio, somebody, five. It is really, really a sad day in America. We are witnessing a constitutional crisis. We talked about Trump wanting to be a dictator on day one. And here we are. This is what the beginning of dictatorship looks like. When you gut the Constitution, and you install yourself as the sole power, that is how dictators are made.

That's actually the Constitution and elections have consequences. If you don't like it, feel free to leave. Just go ahead and go. Go on.

Go on now. So I'm pleased by this. I can't wait to see all the savings, Cain.

All of the savings. And yes, getting rid of waste. That's not your not eliminating the Constitution, you moron. If it's not Article One, Section Eight, it's unconstitutional anyway. They literally were looking to see of these organizations and the grants that they were giving, which ones were actually violating executive orders, etc. And USAID became like one of their main focuses.

It's Musk saying that. Because the whole entire the whole entire censorship ministry, for the lack of a better way to put it, like that Nina Jankowicz lady, that annoying theater broad, all of that was made possible by this entity, by USAID. I read something where it said Joni Ernst was trying to get receipts on this for six or so years. And they just refused to hand over anything documenting what they were spending their money on. And you had all of these, whether it was EcoHealth Alliance, yeah, the WUFLU people, uh huh. All of these far left alphabet groups, Burn, Loot, Murder, all of it, all of these entities got funded through this agency. They were handing out taxpayer dollars like crazy.

And so, all of this, they had the audacity to think that none of this could ever be taken from them. I mean, it was USAID. So you remember all of the money that was going to Gaza, that we were giving Hamas? Guess who that went through? USAID. That went through all of that. That went through all of that. Remember the pier that was being built off of Gaza, and how we were sending all these resources through that, and it ended up in the hands of Hamas, and Hamas never actually distributed it to Gazans.

Shocker. That was USAID. You know, the Haitian aid, where people were looting all of the money that was being sent to help Haitians, that was USAID. All of it. Every single thing that you can't track, or you have questions on, or that seems shady, is legit all USAID. And the left is mad because Doge has kicked out the leg from under that stool. They have collapsed their ability to weaponize taxpayer dollars against taxpayers.

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VGW Group, void war prohibited by law, 18 plus, terms and conditions apply. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So apparently, Joe Biden, for whatever reason, is signed with CAA. He's ready to make some Hollywood deals. I mean, that's what he's been doing. He spent his whole, like, last term acting, so I don't know what he thinks he's doing. What the hell is he going to do? He decided to go with, CAA is a huge agency.

It's a creative artist agency. And their co-chairman said, quote, President Biden is one of the most mer- I can't even read this quote, seriously. I can't. Are you serious?

This dude was like, oh, he's loved and respected and blah, blah, blah. Says who? No, I don't feel like being nice. Bite me. I don't feel like being nice at all.

Bite me and then pound curb. I don't care. They, anyway, they said that he and his fellow co-chairs, they're very excited.

They've been big backers of Biden and Harris, so I don't know who he's going to go swindle now. They're going to have to work somehow because the gravy train's up. Gravy trains are done.

It's passed. Scientists pour cold water on the popular ice bath health claims. I don't care. Another of I don't care.

I don't like bats. It's people soup. It doesn't matter if it's hot or cold. If you're getting into a bath hot, it's hot people soup. If you're getting into a bath cold, cold people soup. But they say that it helps sleep.

I don't do cold baths because why would I make myself uncomfortable like that? You know what I mean? Like we invented hot water.

Why? We did. We, we made it hot. We can make it hot on demand. That's damn near magic, sir. Oh, let's see.

Students were arrested after they staged a fake ice raid. Oh, and they said there's chaos. And I think it's hysterical. Uh, but again, don't care. And uh, also Super Bowl ticket prices are plummeting because nobody wants to go watch the same two teams constantly play against each other.

Oh look, sports ball. Stay with us. Now in the meantime, immigration. Hmm.

I like how Tom Homan's been going, uh, totally ham on all of this because remember the, uh, New Jersey governor, Phil Murphy, he said, I mean, the way that he said it, he's harboring an illegal alien. Isn't that what you got out of it? This is what he said. Um, let me read it to you. He said, quote, Oh, we have, uh, go ahead and play. I was sorry. I was looking at the transcript. We have 11, of course you guys have it.

Go ahead and play it. Tammy and I were talking about, I don't want to get into too much detail, but there's someone in our broader universe whose immigration status is not yet at the point that they are trying to get it to. And we said, you know what, let's have her live at our house above our garage.

Uh, and, and good luck to the feds coming in to try to get her challenge accepted. First off, when he says, how did he, how did he put this? Uh, uh, how did he say that? Someone whose status isn't, how did he say it there? Oh, the status is not yet at the point that they're trying to get it to.

Can I just stop right there for a moment? Someone whose immigration status is not yet at the point they are trying to get it to. Yeah, that's like, that's, that's totally not legal, yo.

And I hear me out. That's like saying that you go into a store and you take something without paying for it. The status of your ownership is not at the point that you're trying to get it to. Do you think that you could use that and you could use that excuse in any way? I don't think so.

Yeah, I don't think so. So it sounds like they have their hard brain and it sounds like they have their hard brain and illegal alien and then he's challenging the feds to come and get her. So Tom Homan said, yeah, all right, we'll look into it. Why would you taunt Tom Homan?

Why? He's the guy who like, I would imagine he's kind of like my grandpa, how my grandpa was. My grandpa would wake up in the morning. My grandpa was a tough old bird and he didn't make coffee like normal people. He'd boil water and then put grounds in it. Like when he was not even camping, when he was in the kitchen. He just didn't use it.

That's tough, man. He, I just get the idea that Tom Homan starts his day the same way. So the Murphy's office, his staff freaked out when he said this. They're like, wait a minute, did you, are you literally saying that you're violating, what are you doing? So he's been trying to backpedal this the whole time. And now they're trying to spin it as, oh, well, there's a witch hunt. They're trying to get someone now.

You literally outed them as being an illegal alien and said they're living above your garage and now you're mad. So now this is what they're saying. Hold up.

Let me pull this, let me pull this up. This is New York Post. They're trying to say, no, no, no, no. You know, it was misinterpreted. What was? Everything he said. It was misinterpreted. There's nothing like this that actually happened.

Oh wait, we call that a lie. And even though he was literally daring the feds to come and get this person. And they said, no, no, no, no one's ever lived in the home under those circumstances. What other interpretation is there? He literally said, someone who isn't here illegally is living above his garage. Pray tell what other interpretation do we have? Well, we didn't mean like, no, we don't know. I mean, that's a felony.

You're admitting to a felony. I don't know. He's, I feel like he, because isn't he termed out? I think Murphy's termed out after this. So he really doesn't, you know, he really doesn't GAF.

He doesn't. But, and they were trying to, also, the other thing that he invited was the speculation as to the purpose of the person living above his garage, because he clearly said it was a woman. So Cain, if I, if you hear someone saying, oh yeah, we have an illegal alien female who's living above our garage. What does that suggest to you?

Illegal things to put? Yeah, but, but no, but what are they doing there? Good question. Is he, is it like someone working in their house? She's not staying there for free, is she? I don't know. I mean, there's got to be some sort of trade of services or money.

It's usually ass, gas or grass. So, you know, like, I don't know. Really avoiding that. Were you? I was trying to avoid saying that.

I love that for you. Disappointed that you just did it. So I, what was, what's the reason that, that, what other interpretation is there? They tell on themselves and they're like, oops. It's Phil Murphy.

What do you expect? Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. bingo, slingo, and more. Live the Chumba life at ChumbaCasino.com.
Whisper: medium.en / 2025-02-04 16:06:38 / 2025-02-04 16:18:57 / 12

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