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It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so first up here, because of the Hurricane Milton, people could catch fish in the street. It's actually not a bad gig to be able to just like walk out your front porch and go catch fish in the street. This was in a College Park area.
Two men caught a large bass on a flooded Orlando road. Yeah, and a dude in a riding mower came cruising down the middle of the street. I mean, this all happened at the same time. Dude was bass fishing in the street and another dude was driving a riding lawnmower. It's like a CNN weather report.
No joke, right? Yeah, it's like a CNN weather report. And he came cruising through right through the middle of the scene. He had a news crew there and he didn't have a care in the world. And the guy released the bass back in the water and he's like, we came out here to fish after the storm. He's like, you know, it's not fun for people whose stuff get ruined. He's like, you know, what are you going to do right now? Just, you know, everything's flooded.
You're out there trying to, you know, this is all you can do. Too funny. This bearded Florida man casually joined a women's only poker tournament and he won $5,000 and got away with it. He used the anti-discrimination legislation so they can't ban men from entering into a women's tournament. So he ended up defeating the female lead and took home over $5,000 according to the Las Vegas Review.
There's video of it. Some players were putting a bounty on him and they said, good luck, but not really. But yeah, he entered into the tournament and they couldn't keep him out of it. Yeah, he did beat all the women.
That is correct. He beat all of the women. This, can you, this story. Have you ever like had a dream and then like you're mad at your spouse or something in your dream and you wake up and it takes a second to realize you're not dreaming? And you're like, you're mad at them for absolutely nothing. So this woman was charged with domestic violence because her. OK, so she got mad at her husband and attacked him because there was a woman on television. They were watching television and the woman on TV reminded her of her husband's former fling. It's Coral Springs police.
They responded to the call at a residence at a residence and the caller said a verbal argument between the spouses. The couple got they had over apparently the guy had cheated on her with this chick and the some woman on television. It resembled the chick that he had cheated on his wife with and the wife got mad, attacked the husband. And that's what happened. Yeah.
And. Yeah, it was bad. She threw all kinds of items at him. She scratched him, bit him.
I mean, he did cheat, so. But they said that he he actually finally she. Look, he took her to the ground because she wouldn't she wouldn't stop aggravating him and biting him and scratching him. So he forcibly took her to the ground, held her there. And then she tried to complain to the police that she was the victim because he had he had used force on her. Girl, you were scratching and hitting him. Like, what did you think was going to happen?
Go on. So she was arrested and taken after they investigated. They're like, yeah, you're the baddie. So they took her to jail.
Broward County Jail, of course. Like what? I guess they hadn't gotten past that. I guess they hadn't worked through it. Two dudes tried to rob a construction site during Milton and they deservedly got stuck.
Oh, Winter Garden. They tried to take advantage of the state of emergency in Polk County. They were at a construction site.
They were trying to load up on what they thought was going to be an easy steal. And now they got stuck. They actually got stuck in Polk County.
Sheriffs arrived and they took them to Polk County Jail. Our partners that help bring you the program. Preborn is a great organization that helps out mothers as they are making a difficult they're making a decision. They got an unexpected pregnancy, unplanned pregnancy and preborns working out there to save lives in areas that get a lot of that see a lot of abortions. And so they meet these mothers. They offer them an ultrasound so they can hear their baby's heartbeat, meet their baby, see their baby for the first time.
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They partner with women up to two years of life. So they're there with maternity and they're helping with diapers and they're there when, you know, in a pinch when they when these women need it the most. And that just goes so above and beyond and I think just showcases the dedication to life that preborn has. It's super simple and easy to donate. You just dial pound 250, say the keyword baby, and you can also visit preborn.com slash Dana to donate online. Every contribution counts.
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Try Lucid for free at Lucid dot co slash Spotify. It's Kelly Clarkson here to talk all things Wayfair, the best place to buy furniture, decor and anything else you can think of to create a home you absolutely love. I know when I shop with Wayfair, I find options for every style, whether I'm feeling boho or farmhouse, modern, traditional French country. I can find exactly what I need for my home and more. No matter your space, style or budget, shop Wayfair dot com to make your home way more you.
Wayfair, every style, every home. Welcome back. Top of this third hour. Dana Lash with you. Find us over at Substack as well. Chapter and verse.
And you can also check us out on Rumble, Channel 347, DirecTV, all that good stuff. I want to show you this video. Imagine you are in the grocery store. And in this instance, it's a Wal-Mart superstore.
And you witness this in front of you as captured in video. It's this little girl. Who is the who is the annoying broad who's going, you don't know what she's been there. Shut up.
Tell me that you don't have kids without telling me you don't have kids. That's the point. You don't know what she's what the hell. Why does anyone care what? It's not about what she's been through. It's about what she's doing right now. Her illegal criminal behavior in the store right now. That's the issue where her parents at. Everyone's like, don't touch her. Don't do this.
This enables this behavior. You're not doing this kid a favor. Where's this kid's parents at? Why is she doing stuff like this in a store? You know, she's feeding off of all that. All those people who are going, don't touch her. Don't touch her. She's feeding off all that. That's part of the reason why she keeps going. Everybody's watching me.
Look what I can do. But this one woman who's got to be there. Who ever. Anybody.
Anytime anybody tries to intercede that that lady gets involved. Just shut up. You and your bell bottom yoga pants and walk right back into the bread aisle where you came from.
Good night. I'd have beat my kid's ass. They done something like this in a store. So what do you do in this situation?
What would you have done? Can you earn? You're in a Super Walmart cane or any of you out there. You come across this right in front of you. You're just trying to shop, you know, get your food stuffs.
What do you do? Are we saying if that's my kid or if that's just what you see? Everyone's like, don't touch it. She's throwing stuff. She's throwing glass. Yeah. It becomes dangerous at that point.
Yeah. What if she throws a glass bottle at your head? Well, not only that, but what if she's walking around on top of said glass? What liability is that creating for the store if anybody slips and falls on any of the stuff that she's thrown and breaking in the floor?
Not to mention the actual loss of the products themselves. Right. Finally, there's a man who goes over and intervenes.
But then you got busybody, rowdy woman who comes over there. Oh, just shut up. I don't know. Like, instinctually, you'd want to grab the kid by the arm and pull him away from there.
Yeah. And give them a nice physical, you know, like, oh, a little jarring. It's like, oh, what is this? What's going on here? Not an abuse.
Not any sort of, you know, litigatable pain and suffering. This is literally just a little jolt that says, no, what you're doing here is not what you need to be doing. Plus, now it's dangerous. And so what I know for sure would have said something to that woman. Oh, yeah.
I would have said something to her too. Without a doubt. Oh, yeah. Completely.
I mean, you don't know what she's going through. That's not validation. That's not justification to destroy stuff and put other people in danger in a store.
Yeah. You don't want to put hands on someone else's kid. You don't put hands on anybody else.
You don't want to do that. The fact that she's putting people in that position is a problem. I think if people don't want their kids to get their ass beat from throwing around wine bottles in a store, then maybe they ought to do it themselves before other people will.
That's kind of how I look at it. Because I'm going to tell you what, your kid throws a wine bottle at me, I will beat your kid's ass. I will be the parent that you failed to be.
Absolutely. And then I will sue you for everything I can think of. And I will run you into deficit by occupying you in warfare as punishment for not parenting your child. And then your child will be taken and given to somebody who can raise your child better.
So there's a whole process. I mean, that doesn't help the kid by, oh, don't touch her, encouraging this behavior. People are afraid to parent anymore.
Isn't that wild? At one point, does anybody in that video go, where are her mom and dad? I mean, where are her parents? I mean, she looks like she comes off as an entitled brat. It doesn't look like she's on hard times or nothing. She's dressed nice.
It looks like she's clean and fed. I don't know. But they're like, oh, you don't know what she's going through. You can't intervene. That's not justification for any of it. A lot of people go through a lot of hard stuff.
And I think it's insulting and it's weak to blame your circumstances for acting like that in public. There's no excuse for it. There's none. Absolutely none.
You don't just get to destroy stuff in a store and throw. And I don't know where her. I kept trying to look and see. I don't know. I couldn't identify whether or not she had a parent there in the store. I mean, how would your mom just be or your dad just be watching you do this stuff?
I don't know. But that's, you know, don't don't touch her. Oh, you don't know what she's been through. Well, what about all the other people there that are just trying to shop? What about what they've been through?
You know, they've all been through stuff, too. They don't they don't want to be subjected to this stuff. They don't want to have stuff thrown at them. They don't want to watch this kid. I mean, what you're giving them room to destroy store product and throw around bottles of juice. It's crazy. I mean, I don't know.
They. This is the kid knows that she was that she's pushing boundaries in this video. Clearly, which is why she's she's doing it.
And all these people that are standing there like don't do anything. She knows that she's got the upper hand because everyone's terrified to do anything. And then what happens when she's allowed to destroy this stuff as a kid? What happens when she turns 18 and she tries this?
Huh? Who gets the blame then for her going to jail for property destruction or assault or something of that nature? Then who gets the blame? You know, it could have been prevented. I mean, I don't know the woman who's like, don't touch her. Don't touch her. She's part of the problem, too. She's absolutely out. She also needs to have her a double snakes beat. She's part of the problem also.
This kid needs to be in a juvie, a juvie ward. I mean, the workers standing there doing nothing. You know, nothing that all the workers that are just sitting there looking at her, the man steps in and finally restrains her. The man, you got all these do nothing women standing there and then the man has to step in and restrain the child. And then you've got that mouthy broad that comes in.
Shut up. Now, who's going to pay for all the destruction? Who's going to pay? Who's going to pay for that? Who pays extra for cleaning up the broken glass? I mean, that's entitlement.
You're destroying something that other people are expected to clean up while pretending that you're the victim. Man, this kid's already been failed clearly by their parents. This kid's just a bad kid. She's a bad kid. And then the woman who was like, don't touch her.
Is she paying for all this? I didn't see that broad run in her mouth. I didn't see her getting down on her hands and knees to clean up the mess that this chick was, this kid was making. Did you? I didn't see her getting down to, I didn't see her taking out her purse to get some money out of her wallet to pay for everything that was destroyed.
What's even more upsetting is that now it's completely reversed. They'll call the cops on parents that are actually implementing discipline and won't on parents who let their kids do what we just saw in that video. I never acted out in a story like this because my mother would have murdered me. And my kids didn't do this. My kids only acted up one time in public. One time. That's all it took.
And I did the one, two, three count. And I think they remember it to this day because the youngest was being, or the oldest was being real, wasn't listening too well, being kind of dangerous, climbing up and jumping up too high. And I'm like, he's going to break his legs off. Wasn't listening. And then kept running around because the playground we were at, it was separated by a really low stone wall and you could just climb right over it and go onto the road. Youngest kept trying to go on the other side of the wall. I'm like, you have a whole playground over here.
Why are you attracted to the street? Stop it. And I told him once, I was like, I'm going to give you a count. This is one. And I tell you again and you don't come in. When I get to three, that's it.
We're going. It's like, whatever. Didn't listen again. Gave him a warning. Counted. I said one.
Still didn't come back over the wall. Wanted to go and play in the street. Two. Got to three. Went.
Picked him up. Screaming. Hollering. It was like I was murdering him or skinning a cat or something.
Got him and his younger brother in the car and we left. That was the, oh my gosh. It was just like, you know, a bomb went off.
A bomb of screaming and shrieking. But it was the only time I ever had to count and I was able to use the one, two, three thing literally up until they were like 16. So, actually, I probably could still do it today. Come to think of it. Because not only did I put him in a car, but I whooped his ass. Right there. Whooped him.
Put him in the car. Let's go. Oh my gosh.
It's about to follow through. I literally never had to do it again. Ever. It was a magical thing. I'm like, one. That was it.
Everyone was like, oh my gosh. She's at one. Stop. This kid? Geez. This is part of the problem. I still, can I just, and I'm going to move on, but the other thing that gets me are the workers. They're women too.
I've noticed it. There's the, there's only one, there's one man who's kind of comes up towards the end, but he's holding something. He was shopping and then a dad, you could tell that's a dad. The dad comes, but not her dad.
It is a dad. Comes in immediately when she's throwing glass and he stops her. Kids like this who do not get their behavior corrected become problems for society. They grow up to be Hunter Biden. That's what happens.
They grow up to be Hunter Biden. It's Kelly Clarkson here to talk all things Wayfair, the best place to buy furniture, decor, and anything else you can think of to create a home you absolutely love. Some of y'all might've heard I made the cross country move from LA to New York last year, and Wayfair has definitely helped me create the feeling of home wherever I am. I love a cozy couch and a comfy living room that feels like our little sanctuary for our family. And I love vases.
I love candles. I love anything that kind of makes you feel at home and peaceful. Anyways, something about me is I love options when it comes to making my home more me. I know when I shop with Wayfair, I find options for every style, whether I'm feeling foho or farmhouse, modern traditional French country. I can find exactly what I need for my home and more. Everyone loves a good deal. I mean, who does not want free and fast and easy delivery?
Come on. No matter your space, style, or budget, shop Wayfair.com to make your home way more you. Wayfair, every style, every home.
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Kevin Ray Underwood. His fat backside was pronounced dead at 10.14 a.m. I love capital punishment for child predators and rapists. Yay! It was their fourth execution of the year because Oklahoma knows how to get stuff done. Oh, and it took place on his 45th birthday.
So maybe Satan can have him blow a candle out in hell. Yay! Let's see here. Dana, you're so mean. No, I'm not.
We got more. This is California. Oh my gosh. I don't like this. California squirrels. Squirrels are weird anyway. I don't like their teeth. And now they're turning cannibal in California.
Of course they are in California. There are photos of them eating meat, y'all. I mean, it's gross. Like, one of them ate a mole. That's nasty. Oh, water.
Are you really going to put that photo? Oh my gosh. It's a squirrel eating meat. They said they're supposed to be a vegetarian, but they engage it because they're jerks.
You know that, right? Squirrels are the jerks of the animal world. Squirrels and dolphins.
And some goats. They're jerks, though. Squirrels, I've literally had one throw acorns at me. And I throw them back at them.
I'm sure I look crazy. But, you know, they're wild. But they said that in California they've never seen this behavior before. And that they are eating actual meat. Like, they're acting like predators. I don't like things that fly around in trees like that that eat meat. It's weird.
You've got to get a handle on your phone. So this, um, a porch pirate returns an item after a twerking video. What? So they said that police in New Jersey are searching for two suspects. They were caught on camera stealing a package off of somebody's porch. They returned the item days after a video of them twerking and taunting during the theft emerged online.
Yeah, that'll do it. They grabbed, uh, it was literally a package that contained four glasses and baby items. And then they taunted the resident on their camera by twerking.
And they returned to the victim's home because apparently they made them famous on the webber nets. I mean, those doorbell cameras, man, I'm telling you. The Vatican's on the brink of bankruptcy due to a dramatic decline in global donations under Pope I'm a Communist Francis's leadership. That's not shocking. I mean, you know, there's got a lot. I mean, it's evident.
People don't want to give money to that because they don't think that it's doing the Lord's work. You know what we're all going to be into is we're all going to be turned into, um, we're all going to be chased down by giant murder balls. It's going to happen. Giant murder balls are going to chase us all down. China unveiled an all-terrain spherical Robocop to chase down bludgeon and catch criminals using net launching cannons. Net launching cannons.
This sounds like hysterical. Bludgeon? Huh? You don't bludgeon people? Yeah, I don't know how, but they, and they, and listen to this, the, the bot beast, apparently they say they can not only stop crime, but they can somehow detect it too. I'm not afraid of this because you know what can stop this, right?
45. Just saying, I'm not afraid of this thing. But they said that, uh, they're relatively unbreakable. They call it the cop ball. It's a murder ball. They have net guns, tear gas, sprayers, grenades, loudspeakers. You know what I'm really, what I'm looking at is I'm looking at a delivery service for free grenades and tear gas and sprayers.
That's what I'm looking at. I, you could catch one of these things and take it apart, couldn't you? I mean, theoretically, and we're talking about China, so I don't have to worry about being nice about it.
I don't have to worry about it. It's a giant murder ball. Now, some people thought it was a marketing stunt, but apparently they're really actually trying to implement this thing.
They wanted to replace humans in dangerous instances. It weighs four ton. Well, it said it can withstand a whopping four tons of impact, uh, and it's, oh, it can go a whole 22 miles per hour. Great job, China. You're a dumb murder ball. We found a way to do more of the communism with a murder ball. That's what this is.
We're going to spread the sickle and hammer with our murder ball. I just want to know where does it put the grenades in that? And does someone, I guess, what if it gets hit with an EMP? I still say it's, it's a thing of, it's a grenade delivery unit. That's what it is.
Gives you some free grenades and stuff. They said the wheels can be locked so it can walk in a traditional way if it has to climb stairs. I mean, it's a giant ball.
Roll up them. I don't know. This whole thing, they said it's unstoppable, even in extreme weather. And they have, uh, they've been releasing video showing at work.
I don't know. I still, I still think the robot thing is the creepiest. The one that, the Tesla bot, that's the creepiest. But they've been rolling them out. It's been in a, it's only in a couple of areas, but they have these giant murder balls out there. The Chinese murder balls. If you saw one of these, well, first off, Kane, say you haven't committed a crime, but still, if you saw one of these like coming at you. Right.
What would your response be? Get out of the way. Thing looks like it could run over me. I mean, it only goes 22 miles per hour.
Yeah, but I can only run like maybe eight or 10. Yeah, but I feel like this is why everybody needs a scooter or something. Or like the ability to convert your shoes into whatever works with the, what are, what are those, what are the things with the stick? The go-go gadget? No, I have one.
I have a mini version of one and I can't think of anything. Oh, the Segway? Yes, like a Segway. Like your shoes can, I just feel like I could get away from it. I'd climb something or I'd shoot it.
I don't know. I could get away from it. Yeah, you could definitely shoot it.
And then I'd take all the, I would literally strip it for parts. I want to see it in action actually doing what it's supposed to do. Like walking with cops down the road, it's not an impressive display of what this thing can do. I want to see it launch one of those, what did they say it had, one of those net things that... Tear gas. It has the...
I'm looking at the list. It's got tear, it can disperse tear gas, built-in net gun. Net gun. That's the... Stun gun.
Imagine shooting the net gun at somebody and taking down this, I want to see that. That's what I want to see from this Chinese commie ball. Murder ball. Murder commie ball. It's a spherical robocop. Commie murder ball. That sounds almost like a band name I want.
Commie murder ball. The robot is called Clone Alpha. It's described as a musculoskeletal android. That's the clone robot that they have, the eerie humanoid bot. This was just a giant ball of death in a Benny Hill kind of way. It does look like a Benny, it's like a Benny Hill cop.
I can't make fun of this enough. From China. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's Kelly Clarkson here to talk all things Wayfair. The best place to buy furniture, decor, and anything else you can think of to create a home you absolutely love.
Some of y'all might have heard I made the cross country move from LA to New York last year. And Wayfair has definitely helped me create the feeling of home wherever I am. I love a cozy couch and a comfy living room that feels like our little sanctuary for our family. And I love vases, I love candles, I love anything that kind of makes you feel at home and peaceful. Anyways, something about me is I love options when it comes to making my home more me. I know when I shop with Wayfair, I find options for every style, whether I'm feeling foho or farmhouse, modern, traditional, French country. I can find exactly what I need for my home and more. Everyone loves a good deal. I mean, who does not want free and fast and easy delivery? Come on. No matter your space, style, or budget, shop Wayfair.com to make your home way more you. Wayfair, every style, every home.
