It's his last mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I seriously don't even understand like some of the headlines I see I'm like, what, what is what is your damage? What are you doing? All right, so let me get this lady out of the way. So this is apparently it was over at this is over at Law and Crime. There was a Florida woman who apparently stole from the Target self checkout. And then you know how she got caught? She bragged about it on TikTok.
Yeah. Why do people do this? And also, I'm trying to pull this up in the story won't pull up. What I this is like the fourth or fifth story that I've had, where somebody was posting about the stuff that they stole on like social media, and then they get caught. They're like, I can't believe I got caught. This is crazy.
What did you think you were doing when you posted about it? And when you're at the Target self checkout? I'm curious as to whether or not self checkouts experience more theft than not. But don't they don't they have like a person they're watching and like cameras and stuff?
They do now more than ever. Okay, I can't get this. I think there's something wrong with it.
I can't pull this headline up. So but I have a whole bunch of other stuff. So we're gonna get right into it.
Let's see. So in the meantime, I lost everything. I've lost everything. Yeah, I Well, I apparently accidentally closed out all my headlines on my floor.
You know what, please forgive us because it's Monday and we're crazy. This this Florida man survived. This is an insane story. A 30 foot fall and over 100 bee stings. This is the second bee sting story that we had. This one guy was was he was doing post hurricane cleanup. And he fell 30 feet and hit or hit a roof roll to the ground and the bees were stinging him the entire time. He had to actually go to the hospital to be treated because he does have like some sensitivity to bee stings.
It's kind of crazy. I'm glad he's okay. A guy in Central Florida. He committed home burglary in boxer shorts.
That seems dangerous and gross. And he tried to enter through a window and another house and a man with a firearm shot him. And when the deputies approached him, he began attacking the deputies. So yeah, he was completely arrested.
Yeah. Can I go back to this thing that I can't, I don't like Frank Luntz. I think he's I cannot stand Frank Luntz. I can't stand him. I think that he is a giant meat sack of nothingness. I just I don't like him. I think he's a doofus. His polling is ridiculous.
And then he says stupid stuff like the story that he's been pushing from CNBC. Oh, yeah, the average cost of the Thanksgiving dinner is $10,000 a day. It's dropped 5% last year. Lowest since 2021.
It's historic. $58.08. Wait a minute. Has anybody been to McDonald's? I saw someone saying that a family of four eats a McDonald's for like $60. You're telling me that an entire Thanksgiving dinner?
No, I don't. I don't think Frank. Frank is bougie. Frank does not cook.
Frank does not shop. Okay. He's very out of touch. You, you know, I mean, gosh, turkeys alone are super expensive this year. I mean, they're they've been every year since we've had Biden in office.
And then the pandemic made everything heinous. Yeah, it's it's a lot more than that. And I don't know, they were saying and by the way, that's $50 for 10 person gathering is what they're saying. That is a lie. It's like 60 bucks for a family to eat a family of four anymore at McDonald's with tax and all that. 10 people eating for a Thanksgiving dinner for $58. Sir, you are moronic.
That is such a Cain's jaws on the foot. Yeah, it's not that much. It's not that much.
It's more than that. They're saying 10 people. 10 people. I mean, 10 people.
The turkey alone is 40 something bucks, depending where you get it. Oh, exactly. I mean, I'm looking at my some of this, just the stuff that I have to pick up still.
And I don't get like, you know, bougie green beans or anything I get, you know, I've had same green beans that we all get, right? We all get the same stuff. And we have, we're gonna have eight people. And yeah, we're already like at eight people were over what it would be even for eight people. I've spent 60 bucks on just me and my son, what my son and I are gonna do already. And that's just two people.
Yeah, it I this idea that it's $58 and eight cents for 10 people. How many pounds of Turkey is that? Hang on. Hang on. How much? Let's get into the meal pie.
This is important, guys. So the average weight of a family turkey for things for 10 people, right? We'd have to know what they'd have to be like what 13 away over that.
What would you get for? Yeah, get about a 14 pound bird. Yeah. Because you're you got to figure maybe a little bit over a pound of Turkey per person. There are bigger birds out there.
There's smaller ones, but there are bigger ones. And then, like, if you do anything, like if you bacon wrap it, or if you do any kind of like if you're just doing your you know, your typical base, because you got to factor in your other stuff. And then you got to factor in seasonings, your herbs and spices. I don't know if you've bought fresh herbs, there's some stuff that we just can't grow and then some stuff we haven't just in spades. But if I have to get an herb at the store, oh my gosh, it is so much more. I, I mean, you could probably get what is it? Turkey's a little over?
Oh, let me pull this up. Isn't it over like a couple bucks a pound? Depending on like, just like an average price? Yeah, depending where you get it and get around two bucks a pound.
If not, so finance buzz say says it's like $2.08 a pound. And so yeah, you could get a 15 pound turkey. That's $31. That's 30 bucks right there.
So how in the hell are you spending $58 Frank Luntz and CNBC? How are you spending $58.08 for Thanksgiving meal for 10 people? Already a 15 pound turkey. And this was the median price of all the average pound. We're gonna get no bougie turkeys. No artisanal turkeys.
Okay. And that that's $31. And that's probably not with tax. That highly prized cranberry sauce in the can.
Also is not free. You can't just shake someone's hand for that. Hang on.
Ocean Christ cranberry slice. So yeah, that's like depending on how many cans you get. That's a couple bucks and you got 10.
Yeah. And that's without tax. So you're probably looking at easy almost what hidden hidden towards the $4 territory per can. So already, you're getting up towards $40 just for some cranberry stuff. Throw in some green beans. Throw in a couple cans of green beans. Taters aren't free.
Yeah, taters aren't free. You're already over for 10 people. And you haven't even gotten into like your sodis, your breads, none of that stuff.
You ain't even gotten into dessert yet. So who is saying this? Like what kind of meal are y'all eating where it's only 10 people can eat for $58? I mean, is it potluck? No.
Everybody bring- Where do these people get this stuff? I don't know. I don't know. This is just it's infuriating.
They're still trying to gaslight us. Check it out. So yeah, easily 50 bucks that make because I can't believe the prices in McDonald's are even oh my gosh. Big Mac is 10 without without tax. It's $9.29. It's a Big Mac meal. Quarter pounder with cheese, $5.39.
10 piece nug, $9.19. What if I want a McFlurry? I don't even know, man. Don't ask.
The ice cream machine's broken. Don't ask. This is already. This is already. And everybody's been saying, Oh, man, you know, this is it.
I mean, the Big Mac went up 20% and since 2019. So yeah, four people easily over $58 and they're trying to they're trying to gaslight you and oh no $58 for 10 people for Thanksgiving. Tell me you ain't never been in the kitchen without telling me you ain't never been in the kitchen. I'm going to turn into my grandmother here in a minute. I'm gonna wrap a kerchief around my head.
Were they using Tofurky in their estimate? What the hell kind of turkey is this? This is some like artisanal Vermont turkey. This is uh, yeah, this is our artisanal turkey, our artisanal Thanksgiving turkey. Yeah, the turkeys listen to classical.
Chopin is their favorite. And they relax and unwind and spend their days running through our meadows and which I'll show double as the postcards we sell to help boost business. You know, the turkeys, they all have friends.
That's what I expect for that, you know, a bougie turkey. I don't know. We were talking earlier. I said I set x I well, the World War Three is going to be over the people cranberry over people's cranberry preferences. But I said sliced canned cranberry sauce is the only cranberry sauce worth having. And it is because it sounds great coming out of the can.
And I was feeling immense set a little a lot of satisfaction sliding that is exactly what it sounds like to out of that can and it's on the plate and then when you're able to lay it sideways and it's just perfect. You can just slice it up your cranberry loaf slice it up. It can be the moist maker on your sandwiches. It's Cain's favorite word moist.
That's the so good. And I don't know the people who make the deer food that is the cranberry. That's not a sauce. That's like gobbledy granola gloop. The deer food. Yeah, it's like what I actually reindeer. It's what I respect reindeer to eat. It has like weird nuts and stuff in it. And it's bitter and nasty and, and people like it's just tart.
It's just tart. I had an aunt that would make it. Nobody ate it every damn year.
She'd make it. You think someone would want to go now, Glenda, you don't want to be making this. Nobody's eating this cranberry sauce. Nobody's eating. It's nasty. Everybody in our family was too polite.
So that woman would make it every year. One year I would I actually put some on my plate and I dumped it in the trash like immediately because I wasn't going to eat it. But I felt bad because no one was eating it.
And I heard some people talking. It's disgusting. But man, you couldn't get enough of that cranberry sauce that the slice versus you couldn't get enough. And then when you only have like that much left, and everybody wants some, you got to slice it real thin. Got to get out the mandolin, you know, like do crazy.
Yeah, that's the best way to do it. But I don't know, there are some people who prefer the gobbledy granola hippie stuff. Some people prefer that.
I'm not going to pretend to understand these people. But it is the wrong way. To have your cranberries. It's the wrong, you know, you get the way that they harvest those is unbelievable.
I feel like I'm turning into a cooking show. And I don't mean to but I just it's very important for me that we have the cranberry discussion. You agree with that, too, right?
What with what? Would that that cans better than the make it yourself? Uh huh. Yeah, I would say so.
Yeah. I mean, that's how I grew up. Yeah, that's how I grew up eating cranberries the right way. Also, maybe I don't know.
Maybe that can I just also say this? I always thought that the cranberry sauce that wasn't the sliced that was rich people's cranberry. When I was growing up, that was rich people's that's rich people food. I didn't even know what it tastes like. I don't even know what it tastes like. What? I don't even know what the real cranberry sauce tastes like.
Yeah, you're not supposed to know. It's horrible. Imagine like just straight cranberry juice with some more bitterness. That's just like they have like walnuts or pecans in it or something. Oh, yeah. And then you get a weird like you're like, just as you're trying to understand this weird tasting like hatefulness that you put in your mouth, then you then it's like here's some nuts and you get to crunch on those.
It's so bad. Who eats this stuff? Some people put oranges in it. Can't just add a full stop.
That literally was what you just did. Well, maybe one day I'll have the rich person's cranberry sauce. I've never had it. I think life has to be so good for you to eat that cranberry sauce that you give yourself that hell on the table just so you know what it's like for the the folks who suffer. Do they have the rich person's cranberry sauce in a can? Or is it like, is it just the jello kind of one that just plops out as a cylinder? I know all the cylindrical cranberry.
Which is my favorite. That's the only way to go. The only one I know. Do they have the rich person kind in a can? I don't think so. I've never seen it. Have you? It comes out like deer food?
No, I don't think they do. They probably sell it in a kit in the salad section. But no, I legit was like, that is rich people's food. And I never it looked pretty on the table.
But that's, you know, jokingly. That's, you know, people who, who are happy and have, you know, and they they have no complaints in life. They're the people who invented that cranberry sauce, and they put it on the table. Because everything is so great.
I just don't know what suffering is like. Let me have a bite of this homemade cranberry sauce. Oh my gosh, the devil is real. And that's, that's how that came to be. You know that, right? That's the story of that sauce. I do love those details in history.
Well, it's very important, important part of I just feel like we don't know enough about American history. Yeah, you know, I mean, it's very, very, it was created, you know, like you would whip yourself on your back. And I don't do that. But you know, that's like, that's why people have that. So they can torture themselves.
Oh, and remind themselves what good food tastes like, because that ain't it. All right, I'm almost done making fun of it. I'm gonna get so much hate mail. It's okay.
It's all right. I'm just gonna eat my last cranberry sauce. Not read any of it. That's what I'll do. All right, we got we got more on the way.
And now all of the news you would probably miss it's time for Dana's quick five. See here. So first we told you the story Harris is telling her advisors that they need to kind of keep her options open for her.
Whether it's maybe going for governor going for Senate something to that effect. This is crazy editorial for intense Chicago public school teachers were chronically absent. Last year, their median salaries $95,000 four and 10 four and 10 were absent. And that last year, the median salaries 95,000 I know I'm without words I don't quite that's 21% more than teachers make in the suburbs.
Yep, the median pay their 70,000 these teachers are making 95 and CPS and Cook County, Chicago Public Schools pays its teacher more than any other its teachers more than any other large school district in the nation just proves throwing more money at it doesn't fix it completely totally not at all does not fix it at all. A unique cemetery says grieving relatives must pay for VIP passes to visit graves. This has this so this is in Britain, it's in London stoke on Trent. And it's like an a, it's a, I mean, it doesn't look like it's anything but a normal cemetery cost five bucks to visit a grave or cremation plot 10 to visit the rose garden, and they're not going to come out and force with this, it will be in January, and they have electric gates so you have to have a VIP pass. Yeah. But if I paid to have them buried there that's me paying to visit when I don't know if you get the VIP pass if you pay to do that, have them I don't know but I mean I don't know if anybody who like goes and act and looks like a veterans cemetery people you don't like in game purchasing.
It's in game purchase so you can pay to have some of the barrier but you have to pay for the access of getting to them. Yes. So this is okay speaking of dead stuff. Oh gosh, a Colorado, Colorado funeral homeowner was accused of letting 190 bodies decay. And they pled guilty to corpse abuse. That's.
Oh my gosh. Apparently the, they begin storing their bodies in a decrepit building near Colorado, Colorado Springs in 2019, and they gave family families dry concrete in place of cremated remains. So somebody probably has like grandma in a jar on their mantle and it's not grandma it's just concrete.
Yeah. So they're in a lot of trouble john and Carrie Halford, it's called the return to nature funeral home, they begin storing the bodies in this, and then they would give families the dry concrete they look, they just had the discovery last year that this is happening they apparently spent extravagantly. They did laser body sculpting fancy cars, luxury items all that stuff, they pled guilty to fraud.
That is insane. This is a, an insane story and I wanted to touch on this I think I had it earlier in my rundown but I wanted to bring this up. Have you guys heard about this case with Jeff younger. This is one of the wildest cases I think that I don't know he's a Texas dad actually wasn't in like Coppell, not too far from us. So, this dad, him and his wife, got divorced. His name is Jeff younger his wife is in gorgeous.
And they had. They have a 12 year old son that they got, he got. He was going to get granted a full custody of his 12 year old son and he wanted to, although the ex wife is she was just granted that in California court.
This past week he has twins, twin boys and one of the boys apparently is from what they talked about in court. The 12 year old boy would dress as a boy and do boy stuff at his dad's house. And then when he was with his mom. It was like his mom was like pushing the stuff on him. And so the mom insisted that the 12 year old be transitioned, because he's the mom decided that the son was transgender. And the 12 year old they wanted to put him, she wanted to put him on hormone blockers and all of this stuff, chemical castration essentially is what she wants to do to him. And the dad had been fighting this for quite a long time.
A couple of years had been fighting with him for a while. And so then she moved from, from Texas to California. And she's raising the 12 year old boy, and again, he's a twin so she was she's raising him as a girl. She's been claiming that he is a girl since I mean, for several years now.
And when the dad, Jeff Younger asked his son, you know, do you do you think that you're a girl and like, what do you you know, what do you think and he was in the in the beginning when they were in court, it was like he, the son said he wanted to be a boy and it was like he would only dress up when he was visiting when he was at his mom's house and and being with the mom. And so his ex wife was wanting to do all of this hormone stuff and all a court ruled that she could not seek transitioning treatment of their son previously. And she acknowledged the order and then the Supreme Court of Texas ruled in December that she lacked the legal authority to consent to such therapy.
And, but she's been pushing this this entire time. And now, he said she was transitioning him when she when he was two and the records support that. She put him in a gender clinic when he was five. And then she relocated to California so she could basically be in a better position to fight to have him transitioned. And then in 21, excuse me, the judge in California was gave her full custody over the 12 year old boy, including his medical care. But they said that the control did not extend to the hormone suppression therapy and the puberty blockers and the reassignment surgery. They said the boy's dad had to sign off on that.
Well, the mom didn't like that. And they kept they were they were pushing it and now he lost all parental rights over him. And I read because I think that they did IVF. And apparently, that's not even her biological child. Because they I think she had like a donor. I read a story where they had one of the reports. It was in Texas media.
Yeah, so I don't know. That's what I, the whole, this is an insane story to me for a number of different reasons. The California judge was the one who who granted the mom all authority. And the dad was, you know, he was a super involved dad.
And then they had like an acrimonious divorce. And then the mom's doing this. It makes me wonder if she's not doing it to get at the dad. I don't know. But he says that, I mean, he was supposed to have supervised supervision, or supervised, sorry, visitation.
He said that he sends letters and stuff to his sons, but his ex wife is not required to make sure that they receive them. But now she's been released. She's free to go and seek the experimental surgery and chemically castrate him and all this stuff, which is wild.
I don't know. Of course, she has her medical picture where she's wearing a cross necklace, which even the devil can quote scripture. That's, it's so sad to me, this kid's 12 years old, she's been brainwashing this kid since he was a toddler. Before he even understands, you know, concrete concepts, or abstract concepts. She's pushing this stuff on him. To me, I feel like that that's a form of abuse. I can't believe courtrooms don't see that, especially in when it involves, you know, a mom and a dad that are not on the same page. Wouldn't you want to err on the side of caution, as opposed to just giving the mom the green light for chemical castration and then experimental surgery? I just feel like you would you would want to err on the side of caution with us that just blows the mind that that's not what's happening here. So that's, I mean, it's just so sad.
It just it me because it's just so sad. And I wrote that they had they got divorced. And then apparently it sounds like she's just like she had purchased she purchased all girl toys for the for the son. So when he was at his mom's house, he's playing with girl toys.
He's got girl clothes. It really sounds like she was put I mean, you're two years old. This is this is entirely an adult concept. That they're transposing onto kids and then saying that the kids are actually choosing it because they feel like they have some greater purpose to help this child child affirm who, you know, they think they are. It's abusive.
It's incredibly abusive. I feel so bad for this dad. I mean, what I'm curious as to where some of the Texas leadership is on this. And a lot of I was told by a friend that some of the churches in the in our area, but since he's in Capel, that's, that's considered part of DFW Dallas, Florida.
And there were apparently like churches that are afraid to speak out on this care help the dad, because they don't want to lose any kind of tax exempt status. I think a lot of things. A lot of things need to happen here. But I'm just curious as to why never saw. I mean, this is feels like something Ken Paxton should be I know, I think Ken Paxton has mentioned this before. But a lot of these other lawmakers out there.
Where are they? Where's some of these lawmakers with us? I don't know. I mean, I can't Can you imagine not being able to really have any kind of parental control over your child? And you know that they're going to be chemically castrated. And it's not something they've ever had the freedom to come to a decision that they they chose it and have the freedom to choose it. It was pushed on them from toddlerhood. It's so abusive.
Speaking of like related to this. So remember, they've been trying to cancel JK Rowling for I don't know how long now. How long they've been trying to cancel this this woman. Yeah, I mean years now ever since she spoke up in favor of sanity in favor of women protecting women's spaces and on sports teams and stuff. They've been trying to cancel her something for years. So HBO has been forced into defending her.
Because the the woke scolds were demanding that she be removed from her own Harry Potter TV series. That seems a little Yeah, maybe not. That seems a little much. So HBO to their credit, there's actually standing by her.
That's kind of impressive. Because they have a lot of power. They had not that was not something previously that I thought that they would I mean, it's because it's Disney. But because they've got the Disney they have the Disney Harry Potter theme park. Apparently her name's on HBO. I guess everybody's standing or she has blankie money and she can't be canceled.
And blankie power because she's like a factory of stories. Yeah, they said that because they they still have her name up on the the stuff at Disney. They haven't taken her name off that. And HBO said that they're not taking her name off of the series.
Because people were upset that she stuck up for women. Interesting. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-11-25 16:35:00 / 2024-11-25 16:45:59 / 11