Absurd Truth: Twitchy Tampon Tim

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida man. All right, so a couple of stories here. This involving sneakers.

I don't know why. This is a sad story. So this dude, this Florida man was convicted of murdering a teenager over a pair of Yeezys.

Adidas Yeezy. And he lunged at the victim's father in the courtroom. Florida man, he murdered a teenage girl over these Yeezy sneakers four years ago.

They're in court. And he Adrian Cosby, 23, murdered 18 year old high school senior Andrea LeCayo. And during his sentencing, LeCayo's father read a statement that set the murderer off. He said that you're the epitome of evil and darkness that this world represents.

And he says your animal, he called him animal said you're, you know, in prison the rest of your life. Cosby immediately started cussing him, left from his chair, and it took six officers to restrain him. And it happened when LeCayo and her boyfriend were looking to sell these shoes that were they're like really expensive. And they said that they met with this guy outside of an abandoned house in Homestead. And they were kind of going back and forth over payment. And that's when Cosby approached. He was I guess in the he was with the other guy approached the driver's side door shot both of them and then they took the shoes for $935 is what they did. So that's crazy.

And also never do a shoe exchange outside of an abandoned home anywhere. That's like super sketch. How many people have samurai swords in Florida? Because this dude used a samurai sword because we just literally had a samurai sword or machete.

What was it? It was a machete. This dude was accused of using a sword to attack his friend over an Xbox. The guy's from Daytona Beach. He had stopped by the victim Walter Grimes stopped by the victim's apartment along South Beach Street.

They were going to hang out. The dude was upset because he was currently homeless and he had to walk around with this stuff. Apparently he knew this guy for like the victim for like two years. When Grimes asked the victim if he was going to give him his Xbox the victim replied no. And then that's when Grimes grabbed a samurai sword and struck the thin friend twice across the left side of their face and shoulder. And then he grabbed the Xbox and ran away. So they obviously called 911 and the victim is okay. But this dude was on the run.

That's kind of crazy. And he knew the dude for two years. Sounds like he was probably sketchy before then.

I'm just gonna say it seems like he probably was. Okay, so this is another machete story. This was just the other day. In Palm Coast WFLA a Palm Coast Deputy say he threatened workers who were doing stormwater inspections. It was a maintenance company. He got mad because they temporarily blocked the road and he jumped out of his car and was swinging around a machete. Flager County.

I mean, it's like that's like normal, I guess is the thing that you have like Gators and machetes there, I guess. The employees told officials that 43 year old Miguel Rodriguez was mad because they blocked the road while backing up one of their vehicles. They didn't have any signs posted. Deputies say they had several signs posted.

Whatever. But they said that Rodriguez drove over on the worksite stopped his truck, got out to yell, I'm going to chop some bees up. Not like bees, but you know what I mean? While walking towards him with a machete. One worker said he ran into a wooded area because he feared for his life. Then Rodriguez got back into his truck and sped off into traffic. So they did find him and he literally he had several machetes in his truck. He kept the machete that he used just kept it right there on the dashboard. His car was parked. He was in the you know, doing something and just kept it right there on the dashboard. Is that like an auto theft deterrent? Like would you bust up into somebody's car if they just had like a ring like a machete like laying all cool like up and just never know who you got to cut last minute.

I just want to know why that seems so commonplace. The machetes I don't know. Our partners, our friends at Hillsdale College, the only I think one of the last remaining educational institutions left they were founded in 1844 to offer the education needed to preserve civil and religious liberties. A small Christian classical liberal arts college located in southern Michigan. They have a ton of free resources for you that you can take advantage of. They have their deep dive educational podcasts. They also have their free speech digest and primus. And they're also giving away free pocket constitutions to get yours.

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So get yours today. That's Dana for hillsdale.com. Now, all of my friends who are into football have been asking, does this guy even?

Did he ever actually coach football? Everybody's been asking me this now, Kane and Steve, I set you guys up in slack. I'm like somebody's got to explain this to me. I know nothing about football. Nothing because I came from St. Louis.

Okay. St. Louis is a baseball town. We had a big deal with our football. And it was big and bad. And it was very dramatic. So don't ask because, you know, it's there's there's only two ways you'd be at St. Louis and angry when you talk about InBev buying Anheuser Busch to say nothing of the woke stuff that they did.

And then when you get into football. So anyway, he was playing Madden with AOC, which you know, neither of them do this. Neither of them play. And they were doing I mean, with walls, we're getting ready to talk about it didn't.

But it didn't look like they knew at all what they were doing. And so he posts this like screenshot. Tim walls does. And he apparently well, he got dragged for it.

So they were they were on Twitch, they were streaming twitches, like a streaming platforms, you can play games and do stuff and then you can stream on it. And people can watch you play. And he was doing this yesterday. He, he, he posted AOC can run a mean pick sense, or pick six sorry, can run a mean pick six and I can call an audible on a play. And we both know that if you take the time to drop a playbook, you're going to use it and run a mean pick six.

pick six. So from what I was told a pick six is not a defensive scheme, play call or formation. It is a term when defense returns an interception for a touchdown. Can explain it to me like I'm two.

All right. Let's say your quarterback is throwing downfield. That's the Tom Brady position, right?

Okay, exactly to hit his wide receiver for a touchdown or whatever. And then the other team intercepts it and they run it all the way back to their end zone for the six points. They picked the ball, ran it in for six. That's a pick six. That's not a formation. It's not a play that you write down and say this is what we're going to do. It's just you hope it happens if you're on defense. Why did he someone on his so someone in his camp deleted this tweet.

But the internet's forever guys. And the drag the dragging had begun. Did he say it was a pick six because there were six players on the screen.

I don't understand why he said that on the line of scrimmage. Yeah. That's what I was gonna say. Sure.

If yes, because it looks like she has six people lined up. So why would he say that? First off, if you don't know what you're talking about, why would you say something like this? I don't know if he's doing is he like a troll? Is he a plant? I don't know.

I mean, we know he is for the CCP. But the reason I say this is he this is the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. Why would you say this audio soundbite 20 gag us all now because this is where he he just, I don't know. Watch. This is so hard to watch.

It's so bad. Are we gonna play some ball or what are we gonna? Yeah, let's do it. I'm ready to play.

Are you? I'm ready to get beat. All right.

Yes, I'm ready. Let's do this thing. Oh, no. This is so bad. All right, quarterback. You got a good quarterback.

He is he is a good quarterback. This is so awkward. None of neither of them like they're enjoying us tried. I tried.

See, you're a pro though. So you can you can call these articles. I think I know what these guys are doing. But I don't know which they literally do not know. And I keep going back to this project 2025 from personal freedom. I think a lot of the folks on here are kind of independent folks independent think this is so stupid.

Why would you want the government telling you what books to read or what doctor does? So basically, they're pretending to play and we can be and they're playing like, so so one of our listeners slash viewers said, well, I can't say what they sent. They're they're playing fecally, I guess is the best way like they don't even know how to play up.

So apparently, this person's like his name is Joe. He's like a hardcore Madden person. He's like they're playing it was like telling me I don't even know about like I know the guy that the game was named after and that's legit all I know. Like I'm not gonna fake it like Tim walls, right? I'm not gonna fake it like AOC.

I legit know nothing. I would be scoring on myself a million times if I play this guy. I have no idea. Touchdown on myself.

I don't know. Go team, whatever. Touchdown score down, whatever. Not even gonna lie.

Everyone's like, Oh, dear heavens, stick to guns. See, that's what I'm saying. He does not do that. He does not play.

Come on, you know, he does not play. But they're faking this. And they're going they're trying to make they're so desperate for young dudes that they're on Twitch. And they're trying to make a play for the for the dudes that are on Twitch. And the dude gamers, right? I mean, there are women gamers, but I mean, it's just a it's just way more dudes. And so it's who's I play.

Now I've never played Madden. I you know, I usually I'll like play horror games or first person shooter and that's pretty much it. And I've never had a conversation with anybody like so actually, I don't talk when I play. And I'm really selective about any kind of like, co op or squatting up because you know, and I definitely don't talk when I do. But I would never sit there be like so guys, what do you think about the saw and all the stuff about project 25?

Like what's up? Like Oh my gosh, can you believe with Kamala Harris and this fracking because you sound like a loon. No one plays to do that. They play to get away from those people. When people play, they they want to when I play, I want to blow stuff up and shoot Tyranids in the face.

And I don't want to be burdened by what has been I don't want to have to deal with this from these people. Right? We can all agree we want an escape. That is my escape. Right? I have a friend that watches like the serial killer murder true crime stuff.

And like the gorier the better. And then and she like really believes that one day she's gonna solve a cold case. Like she goes to the whole like expos legit and everything. That's her escape, right? That's her escape. Because she works in administration for health care. So she's got to get away.

It's a heavy job. She's she needs an escape. Her escape is serial killers. Sidebar, is that really like, would you ever want to mess with those people? Like their escape is true crime. Like you're just asking to get murked. I they and they know how to do it.

I just, you know, I gotta say, anyway, back to this. Did it look like they were playing? I don't I don't. How do you know that it wasn't a staffer playing?

I don't know. They would have had to intentionally act like they didn't kind of know what they were doing. I mean, he acts like he's a Heisman winner. I know what that is. He acts like he's a Heisman Trophy winner, and that you should respect his authority about football.

And then he's like, Oh, what a pick six. Why would you say something like that publicly? Again, back to my original question, knowing that you are going to get dragged on the internet if it's not correct. You know what I'm saying? Why? The knucklehead, Dana. I don't know why.

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It's time for Dana's quick five. So the possible let's say a couple of things. The DA actually I wanted to get to this because we had this headline last week. Philadelphia DA sues Elon Musk and his super PAC over a million that million dollar sweepstakes. Yeah, well, you kind of knew that that was gonna that they were gonna try to do something. Whether or not it's illegal, I just feel like money is speech.

You can do whatever the hell you want. They said it was an illegal lottery scheme. How was it an illegal lottery scheme because he was just saying you need to come if you come and you support us.

Like voter integrity and you sign this petition. It wasn't getting people to vote. Do you think it was an indisputably unlawful lottery, Cain?

I don't really think it was either. I feel like these people don't know what lotteries are. So that's gonna be a fun lawsuit for everybody. Aliens could be wandering around the earth right now. Speaking of Musk, this is something he believes. I I kind of hope so.

He says that he hasn't seen it. But we had we should he was joking with we should have an alien registration card. I hope there are aliens walking around because I am bored senseless with the people already here on earth.

Not you guys, but like the left. I'm bored senseless. Oh, wait, wait a minute. It's an election season.

There's a great way somebody gets called Hitler. I can't you know, I, I don't know what I'm talking about. I wish I hope that there's some spice in life. Let's have some aliens or some Bigfoot whatever. I just we need some kind of we need some kind of some kind of fun but they said it could be walking around earth right now. This $7 billion for a city within a city planned for Phoenix.

That sounds like hell. It's called hollow Vista. It's a manufacturing complex developed by Taiwan, Taiwan semiconductor manufacturing company.

Love them semiconductors. Wait a minute, full stop reverse. They said they're spending 65 billion could go to 120 billion. So it'll be like a manufacturing plant a city within the city. I'm totally fine with that. Let them and their paint so good.

Yeah, good. I thought it was gonna be like that crazy wall that they're building out in the desert in the Middle East. Remember the city wall where everybody lives in this giant wall. That looks like a giant wall.

It looks weird. I don't know. A man was beaten with a mop with a mop near a stadium complex in South Philly, say police had beaten to death with a mop.

One man attacked another man with a mop near the intersection of the stadiums and they said that it was about 420 of course it was 420 in the morning, and the altercation the victim was beaten to death with this improvised weapon doesn't sound like it was improvised. It was just a mop stick with us. We got more in store. So can we talk about the Puerto Rico thing? Now we have a very interesting insight.

Let me set it up. Let me set it up because he was at Madison Square Garden and he invited this comedian Tony Hichliffe to come up to the microphone and tell some jokes. This is always kind of an awkward thing. So let me just start by saying it is always awkward to bring up a comedian when you are in a political or you're at a political event and everyone is one kind of like minded, right?

Because I think part of the beauty of comedy is being able to recognize the funny things about yourself. And take it lightheartedly, you know, but the thing is, so he this this guy, Tony Hinchcliffe, he gets up, he does a short bit at the microphone. Do we have the joke? Do we even?

Yeah, we'd have it. This is Steve's like, yep. I want to play this because I know I will say I don't think Trump looked at the rundown.

It was like, yeah, this is great. Let's roll with this. I think it was the campaign people.

But again, you you know, the buck stopped somewhere. I don't know who thought that I don't know he does. He does this show in Austin. Is this the guy that has the Trump impersonator that comes out? Yeah, that's actually funny. The guy who does the Trump impersonators actually hysterical. Oh, my gosh, it is actually hysterical. And it's not like mean spirited or anything. So I've seen this guy do his stuff before. But so he's based in Austin. It's actually really because he has like a Biden or he I watched one show that he did way to bite impersonator and a Trump impersonator. And then it was actually very funny. So he comes out.

So it's already I just feel like it's a tough gig. You're at a political rally. You're at a political rally in New York.

You're at a political rally in New York at Madison Square Garden. So just there's a lot there. So here's this is what happened. You know, there's a lot going on. Like, I don't know if you guys know this, but there's literally a floating island of garbage in the middle of the ocean right now.

Yeah, I think it's called Puerto Rico. Okay, all right. Okay, we're getting there. Now again, normally, I don't follow the national anthem, everybody.

This isn't exactly a perfect. So what gets me is so he was saying other he actually was going after everybody. He was saying what was one of his jokes was Israel and and Gaza should settle their beef with best out of like, best out of three rock papers and scissors, but Gazans will always choose to throw rock. That's actually what's going on.

That's actually funny. I get it. I understand. I don't believe in cancel culture.

We have a very interesting perspective at the show. Because one of our producers who works with the first is Puerto Rican. And he's actually conservative. I don't know how much you want me to out you on but and I was asking him about this and I'm like, okay, you know, we're I because I was like, Were you offended? Were you just so offended?

And now you're like, cancel everything. One's never talked on the show before ever. This is his first time ever. Normally, he's pushing a million buttons. Hey, guys, no, I was not offended. I think it just like, it goes right into the left narrative, obviously, because, oh, Puerto Ricans tend to lean left. But I mean, I believe there's a big part of the Puerto Rico community that it's actually conservative. So that's why the mixed reaction in the crowd, you know, so but at the same time, I also don't believe in the crowd.

I don't believe in cancel culture. So I mean, that's it. That's it. I asked one I was like, you tend to lean conservative. And he was like, dead on. And his answer. He was like, Puerto Ricans are naturally conservative. Isn't that what you said? I found that fascinating.

Yeah, you're like Puerto Ricans are naturally. And he's he's like, I wasn't offended. But you don't believe that it was the place to do to do that.

It's just not the forum. Yeah, I yeah, I get it. Thank you. Thank you on I and my whole thing is never set yourself up to give your opponent up Oppo, or any kind of political ammo.

Never do that. And I was reading so a friend of mine was writing about this. He's a podcasters named Jeff Charles. And he always jokes about like in a fun, tongue in cheek way, people of whiteness. And these are people, my friend wrote, who put themselves in positions to be mauled horribly by dangerous animals, because they treat the dangerous animals as like, friends and pets. And it's like this long running joke, like, why do you do this? Why do you do that?

And it's funny, because it's actually true. I mean, I've never you know, I mean, so he jokes, he's like, people of whiteness, why do you do this? Like, why are you trying to pet the bear? Quit it? Why? Why? Why do you even go and touch this moose? You're gonna get like, beaten to death by the mooses?

Yeah, why would you do this? And it's funny, because you know, that's, that's why it's funny. But there's a time and a place for that stuff. You know what I mean?

And this close to the election? Do I think that something like this is like an immediate? Is it a big? I don't think it's a big deal. I really don't.

And I think the people who are trying to make it a big deal are desperate prostitutes. You really are. Stop it.

Stop pimping for Big Kamala. Because it's ridiculous. It looks stupid. I am so done with people being offended. I don't think that there's such a thing as being offended. I just think you're a pansy. I think that you're weak, and that you're soft, and that you are not made to go out and mingle with the public.

So until you harden up, you need to keep your ass back in your house because you are ruining it for the rest of us. It was it was it a the place that he should have done this joke? No. And this is where I think it's weird, because if you're in comedy, there are certain times when you should be able to read the room and know this is going to hit and this isn't, or this is the place to do it. And this isn't, you know what I mean? There's certain, like, for me, for instance, if there are certain times if I'm going to events, I can tell if people are in the mood for a deep discussion, or if they're in the mood for me to just like shred people. I mean, they're you know what I mean? It's, there's a difference.

And you guys know this too. Like sometimes you're in the mood to watch different things. So there's, you got to read the room, and it just wasn't the best place to make this joke. Is it a campaign ender?

No. And that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Furthermore, I'm just like wondering why the left thinks they get to be the arbiter of taste on this stuff.

I mean, you literally have. I mean, well, like what like, like all the all of the people that are freaking out about this, all of the rhetoric from the left, all of the dumb jokes from the left. All I mean, for crying out loud, let's never forget the view talking about well, if you stop allowing immigrants, then who's going to clean your toilets?

I mean, that's an absolute actual soundbite from the view. All of this, it's so stupid. So it's, I think this is just the outrage they're trying everything that they can do to stoke division or grab onto something to use as substance. But I mean, you know, I think a lot of people, I don't think that you know, conservative Puerto Ricans, I think the only people that are caring about it are the white Marxist saviors. Those are the only people that are trying to make it a big deal. And they're like, Oh, this guy needs to be canceled. They've been trying to cancel this dude now. And I mean, isn't he Puerto Rican to himself?

Hinchcliffe? So I thought I read something like that anyway. But I mean, the thing is, is he's a comedian. And he's he made a joke. And he took a risk.

And that's part of comedy. Was it the best place to do it? No.

Is it a career under? No. And I think that people who say it should be, they are ought to be the ones who are canceled. I'm just tired of it. I think we're all tired of it. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.