Absurd Truth: Trump's McDonald's Win Pt. 2

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. I don't want to open, I don't want to open this link. Oh my gosh. You know what it is? Don't give me these stories.

A Florida Man was jailed for punching a dog in the face and hanging her from the leash. And it was, oh no, I don't want to watch it. Oh my gosh.

Don't show me the stupid autoplay. Donald Arthur Stickens III, 24, S-T-I-C-K-E-N-S, Donald Arthur of Martin County, entered the hallway of an apartment hanging a nine-year-old golden retriever from a leash before punching her in the head and body several times. This isn't the first time. The dog was seized, thankfully, but the dog endured compromised airway due to hanging by the leash, had blunt force trauma from six blows to the head. Humane Society of the Treasure Coast took the dog. Since she was returned to Stickens' girlfriend who told deputies she's no longer in contact, he was arrested and charged with felony animal cruelty on $55,000 bond.

He's also behind bars for drug charges and tampering with evidence. And I volunteer. I will pay my own way. I'll deal with him for you. I will do it for free on behalf of Florida taxpayers. I will, I'll supply all of my own tools and implements. I'm not saying what would happen. Just saying, you know. Yeah, I'll take care of that for free for Floridians.

Happily, happily I will. A man was arrested after he impersonated a security guard to get into a Taylor Swift concert. Good night. He was arrested and accused of trying to gain entrance into her concert that she held at Hard Rock Stadium. 44-year-old Ivan Mariotti has been charged with falsely impersonating an officer and interference with a sporting or entertainment event. And Miami-Dade Police said they were notified about 8.30pm by actual security that there was a guy, it was this dude, dressed in a suit wearing a badge over his neck. And he was trying very, very hard to look legit. And he like literally, he said he was hired by four women to work as a security guard and he escorted them onto the property into their seats. And he said he did not have a ticket. He got into the venue because he was part of security. He claimed to work for Saint Security. And his story kept changing. And he asked, they asked him to name his clients and they spoke with two women who said their aunt hired them a driver for the evening, but they said that she did not know why their driver had a badge and she had a driver and not a security guard. And so he was placed incorrect. He's still there.

He's on 1500 Palm, but he's on an immigration hold because he's an Italian national. So I don't know it. It's that seems sus, right? It's weird. Why? Why are you gonna be doing that? Like, I don't know.

I don't know. Let's see a Florida woman was arrested for instructing a child a child to murder an infant through roblox. What?

What? She's 36 year old woman was arrested. She was engaged in aggravated child abuse. She got on she got she instructed a 10 year old to drop a two month old on a solid tiled floor in an attempt to kill the baby. They were contacted by the Gulf Coast kids house about a two month about authorities were after a two month old infant suffered serious injuries after the 10 year old dropped him on the floor. They said the 10 year old was communicating with the woman through roblox.

Oh, my gosh. I I'm telling you what this is crazy. They said they've never seen anything like this, according to law enforcement, and it was truly disturbing. And unfortunately, they said she didn't thought the 10 year old did follow up on it. And so they arrested this woman. She's, you know, going to be in the pokey for a while, but good night. Horrifying.

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It's the p 15 tried at the range today tell them Dana sent you AOC is livid still she's one of the people very upset over that McDonald's visit still still all these flavors all these flavors and she chooses salty 15 Donald Trump putting on a little McDonald's costume because he thinks that's what people do. That's what they do not trying to empathize with us. They are making fun of us. They're making fun of us. Donald Trump thinks that people who work at McDonald's are a joke. Elon Musk thinks that dangling money in front of a working person is a cute thing to do. Oh, what?

Okay, I can't get through the rest of this. What the hell do you think your policies are? What an Oh, my gosh, the irony is so thick, you'll choke to death on it. What do you think Democrat policies are the irony of being a Democrat, a Marxist Democrat, standing up on the stage and accusing someone like Elon Musk of dangling money in front of the working man? What the hell do you think you're doing with your $20,000 to buy a house? What the hell do you think you're doing with your money towards certain working class people have a specific skin color?

What do you think that you're doing when you sit here and you try to bait people with crypto? Or you try to give people entitlements or you want to pay taxpayer funded trans surgeries, taxpayer funded, elective abortions, money free college, what the hell do you think that was free college education that you're marketing that actually the working class pays for that you're lying and saying is for the working class, but the same people that you're saying that would take advantage of it are actually the only ones paying for because it's all going to your grad school stooges. I mean, the irony of getting up there and saying that while you you have just patented dangling cash in front of working people when you're taking it out of their back pocket. I mean, it's truly stunning. The fact that certain people in this country in 2024 lacks such a self awareness when there's so many ways to develop it within oneself is truly just chef's kiss.

It really is. And the apron, you realize that they all wear aprons at McDonald's, right? That if it's not a uniform, then it's an apron. The former president was wearing an apron, because that's what one does.

Tell me that you don't know anything about the working class without telling me you don't know anything about the working class. He puts on it, she called it a costume. Is that what she thinks uniforms are? Costumes? I guess she was fortunate in that when she was slinging drinks at whatever, you know, dive bar in Manhattan that she didn't have to wear a uniform.

But I dare say that it's not cosplay. And by the way, if it was so serious, and such a thing to be celebrated and respected, then pray tell, why didn't you show up? Why didn't your candidate show up? She was the one who made a big deal. If you want to talk about a costume of putting on the McDonald's uniform or saying that she did back in 1983 without any shred of evidence.

And yes, this is the time when if you're going to use that as a way to under or to diminish your very privileged background and make it seem like you're more of the people and that you make a big deal out of it not once not twice. Not three times, but several times and you make it actually kind of a focus of your campaign, then yeah, you don't get to act defended when someone says prove it. You don't get to act upset when someone says, Oh, you, you've said repeatedly that you've worked at McDonald's. McDonald's can't provide any evidence.

The New York Times didn't find anything. Now we all know and I can tell who on x works and who doesn't. And I can tell all the progressives that are defending this and they're saying, Well, I didn't keep pay stubs from whatever my first job.

Oh, that's precious. Have you heard of a thing called Social Security? I mean, tell me that you've never worked without telling me you've never worked. I'm basically talking to people on welfare who have enough money to probably to have the newest Apple phone and are on x all day, lamenting the fact that Kamala Harris is being asked to prove the things that she's claiming on the campaign trail.

Cal horror. But Social Security actually tracks all of this. You know, you have to take stuff out for FICA. You they're tracking all of this.

They know whether or not you've worked at McDonald's or not. And I just think, you know, it's probably not such a big deal for Kamala Harris to provide a screenshot stating such I mean, that would shut everybody up immediately. But you know what she could have done to she could have just gone to a McDonald's. She could have preempted Trump. Anyone from a mile away could have seen this coming. You knew he was going to do this, but she just she's she's got the day off today. Didn't Trump remark on this, Cain?

Yeah, let's get that ready. Because she I don't know what she took the day off today. I mean, it's only like less than two weeks out from the election. She needs a break. Is she gonna go to Biden's Delaware Beach House?

I mean, where does one like Kamala Harris go when she wants to go to the beach? She wants to take a day off. She's got a day off from campaigning, guys.

Yeah, this is what Trump had to say about it. I was going to hit her really hard on the trail today, but now I don't have to because she's off. She's off.

No, I can't get over it. Who the hell takes off? You have 14 days left. And she'll take a couple of more days off to you know why she's lazy as hell. And she's got that reputation. She's a radical left lunatic. She's further left than Bernie Sanders or Pocahontas.

Now, Pocahontas. Because I think is Pocahontas, Rick, is Pocahontas further left than Bernie? Just about, right? It's close. It's close. Who the hell cares, right? Rick says, I don't know. But they're out there.

But she's she's the furthest left. He's in Florida. And they're holding it was a what a Latino, like roundtable or summit, where he's talking with voters out there. And, you know, he's, you know, she's I don't why did you have to Why do you have to take the day off?

Who does that? Two weeks out from an election? Bruce Springsteen is headlining. She's having a big rally in Atlanta.

Bruce Springsteen is headlining. Geez. I, here's where I'm torn. I'm not going to be ignorant to you just because you have a different opinion than I do. You can be wrong. And you are completely free to be so wrong. I may express concern when your horrible logic imperils you or your family.

And I may, you know, possibly offer a submit, maybe suggest an alternative, just suggest. But I'm not going to hate you. I'm not going to judge you.

Well, I will. I'm going to judge you for being wrong. But I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be mean to you. But if you're mean, then it's like I was born to be mean back.

And I will be meaner. And it's not anything I take pride in. It is not a virtue. It is absolutely a fault. It is.

It is a thorn in my side that I have been given to deal with for this life. But I'm saying this because I'm torn on Bruce Springsteen. He's not a jerk about it. But he almost is. Right.

Right. He's like not a jerk. He's not like Green Day, who's horrible, by the way, and their music makes people sterile. He's not like Green Day. But he's right up there.

And also, shut up. Like you want to talk about cosplaying as the working man. What has he been doing for his whole career?

Right? I don't know. He's playing. Oh, he's playing this this event in Atlanta. Is Lizzo going to twerk at it? Remember she was going to be there? Or she was at one event and she had her dancers and they were all there and it's just so family friendly. I don't know maybe they're gonna lie and say Beyonce is going to show up and she'll never show up.

That was that was also a chef's kiss. They've already had 1.6 million Georgians cast their ballots already. Democrats are trying to pump up the early turnout in Georgia. According to AJC. It's a he's headlining a Kamala Harris rally in Gwinnett County on Thursday.

Is that really gonna play well there? Who is she going after with Bruce Springsteen? Think about it. Who is she going after Bruce Springsteen? I'm of all I'm made of questions about this. I mean, isn't he Jersey number one? So I don't does that play well down in Georgia?

Where are my Georgians at? I just don't know if that plays well down there. Does it? I just feel like Yeah, I mean, I guess it's better than James Taylor. I don't know. I don't dislike Bruce Springsteen. There's like, there's like a song of his that I like. A song. I just it's not my jam. I'm not gonna, you know, make fun of him or make fun of you for just not if he's mean Katie by the door. If he gets up there and says stupid stuff, then oh my gosh, yeah, let's let's have at it. But I don't know.

I just just is weird. Like that's who you're using to go after. Okay, I don't know. She trying to get like, what old white moderates?

Is that she's going after? I feel like at this point, if you're undecided, you're staying home. You're staying home. You're not actually going to go out and vote. If you're undecided at this point, you're staying home.

Let's be real about it. I mean, how are you that unengaged? At some point, the responsibility falls on the shoulders of the voters and those type of people.

Yes, you are not too damn busy to do that. I mean, for crying out loud, the founders ran entire farms, and they took care of their family and their parents. And they they they didn't have the internet. They had nothing.

And they still did what they did. And we're aware of everything. I feel like you know, maybe people can, you know, hop on online or watch it to kind of pay attention to some stuff happening out there if you're undecided.

WTF Why? And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right, here's a big old long headline and a weird old story. Here you go.

Ready? Tulsa. Suspect flees police while clutching the snake and then was later found with drugs and cash. Tulsa Police Department said early Thursday morning of last week, a suspect led officers on a pursuit. They were trying to arrest a guy who was clutching a Python. The officers pulled the car over and spoke to the driver who would not provide them with identification or insurance. And they were trying to get him out of the car.

He said he was traveling. He had a headlight out and he said that wasn't a crime except that kind of you can get a ticket for it. And he held a small Python during the stop. And they said it wasn't a threatening situation. But they're like, that was weird. Why are you driving literally with a snake like holding a snake?

It's not you know, like an actual physical like reptile like why? And then he drove off led police on on a short chase to a nearby home bailed out tried running away while holding the snake. They arrested him took him to the ground arrested him they found Oh, 92 grams of fentanyl, lots of cash. He was arrested for eluding because he's a former he's a convict. And so he's got felony convictions, trafficking fentanyl, drug possession, obstruction, resisting arrest, operating vehicle, no headlights, no driver's license, no insurance. And the snake was okay. But he was released to a friend. And they don't know if it's sad.

If it experienced any anguish. I can't believe it's an actual headline that I have. It's true. Tulsa man's given Florida man a room for their money. Let's see.

Oh, I am not reading this one. We'll talk about the car going airborne. So this is in Torrance since California, an out of control car. This is a Southern California when airborne flew through a fence at a high school in Torrance on Saturday afternoon landing right next to a football field mid game. It was a Jeep flew through the air landed upright on the track right by where the game was on the field. And they said the next thing people heard was a thud thud and then a boom and then they saw the fence from the high school gone and a Jeep there. Wow, the video shows the driver's legs are tied up before he's getting taken away on a stretcher. So my goodness, that's neither the driver nor anybody in the field sustained any other like injuries. So good heavens.

The world's oldest paperboy retires at the age of 82 seven decades into the job he says there's nothing else left to achieve. Good for him. See, all dog tall dignity and work. Have you noticed too, this is my favorite thing about voting. When you're standing in line to go vote, as you get it, do you know how people get like, we're all like, not like aggressive or anything. But they're like, going to go perform this sacred action.

Right? Like they're going like they're going into a holy vestibule. They're gonna go cast a vote.

And they it's it's kind of funny. And people would always say don't take people they have signs you can't take I would I, I get real nervous about things not matching. So I would want I like I want a screenshot of what happened and then what's on my ballot. So I can compare in case there's any kind of argument. That's me.

I always like to have like double backup, triple backup. But it's very interesting that people go and everybody I'm one of the people that's like I must have the sticker. Are you a sticker person? I haven't gotten it every time.

But I've been like this since I was 18 years old. I realized the other the last time I voted in the local election that I grabbed a sticker, put it in my pocket. Then I went home and put it on my dresser and I realized I already had another sticker there.

So I clearly don't care about the stickers. Well, I'll say this too. It was funny because when we when we moved here to Texas, it was in 2013. And then I think it was 14 where it was midterm elections.

I could have voted in Missouri and Texas because Missouri messed up and tried to send me. Yeah, I corrected it because I'm an honest person. But there was 1% of me that was like such a couple of years ago. It was one little devil right there.

And he was like, why don't you go back? I'm not gonna lie. I corrected it. I did because I'm an honest person.

I corrected it. But I, I noticed that some people's stickers in their area. I like looking at the stickers that people get because some people's precincts are like really fancy.

Have you noticed this? Like they like this one person said they had special stickers for the first day of voting. Another set of stickers for the first day of voting. A lot of special stickers for the first week of voting. And then you get like a different sticker if you voted the day of like what is with that? Like where's because I am the person I am the person motivated.

Some of you like this are like this. Share this trait with me by stickers. So the book it thing, the Pizza Hut book it thing back in school, I just did it for the stickers, man. I did it for the stickers and the pizza.

I give me a book, I'll read it. I just I did it all for the stickers. The what the stickers.

The what? I did it all like more than the pizza. I wanted to have the most stickers by my name on the chart.

That is what that kind of stuff motivates me. Oh, and I did like I had so many they had to put an extra piece of paper because I just kept going. And I got the pizza party. But then I was like, I don't want to invite any of you damn kids in my pizza party. It's all my pizza.

I invited like four friends. It's like, screw you all. Y'all didn't help me in this.

It's like the meme of the mom that made a big made a big feast for Thanksgiving, but she just wanted a picture of her with the food. And she's like, nah, none of y'all help. I was like, I'm not gonna invite any of y'all fools to my pizza party. Only four.

Only four y'all can come. But I'm just saying I now I'm like, I want we don't have them fancy stickers. We just have the I voted and those are nice. Like don't you know? I'm just saying, like, how do you get your precinct? Do you just like have to tell your precinct? Can we invest in some like fancier stickers? Like, why do they got to be so twee?

Like I want them to be. So we have this thing here. I'm gonna get back to the meat and potatoes of it. How many of you out there know what a Texas mom is? Can you know what Texas mom is? Juan, you know what a Texas mom is? Oh, yeah. Steve, do you know what a Texas mom is? Oh, my gosh. Can you imagine Steve, at a homecoming week, seeing some of these moms?

It is ridiculous. So let me Texas moms. It's not a flower. And I'm going to bring this all to them to bring this tugboat to shore.

So bear with me. It's not a flower. It's a thing that I discovered that they do here in Texas. And it is a big tradition. And so the boys get one and the girls get a different the boy.

It's not when you go to the when you go to homecoming, you don't just get a corsage. The boys get an armband that's a little mom and the girls get a big giant mom. And it started out as like a homemade like little flower that they would wear. And then it turned into where they add bells and whistles and lights. And it is as big as the girls.

Now, it is a big thing. And if you're a senior in high school, and you're a girl, then it has to reflect your seniority status, right? And sometimes the biggest ones are so they're so obnoxious. And the girls, they only wear them for one week, they don't wear them to the dance, they only wear them for one week, and they are completely over the top. And they wear them all week. And it's like a sign of and you wear them if you've been asked to homecoming, the boys got to get the girls, the moms and the girls get the boys, there are arm corsages. And it's just and I we got a couple pictures. It is very much a Texas thing. And yeah, we've had to do the mom thing.

And they are not cheap. If you know what one is showing you Oh, yeah, she's probably a senior because hers is bigger than her. This is normal.

This is normal here. This while these girls wear, it's normal. She's a senior because she has all light colors. And they usually wear like silver or pastels.

And it's like as big as they are. They don't wear that all week. They don't wear it to the dance. They wear it to the homecoming game.

And that concludes it. And then you know, they don't wear them anymore. And then they have like trinkets on them.

Like if they're in cheer, if they're in a sport has their initials on it. Some people go really over the top. The reason I bring this up is because why can't my I Voted sticker be like that? I'm just saying I want it big and gaudy. I'm a maximalist. We don't, I do not allow the phrase and I'm only going to break my rule once to say it.

To illustrate it for you, I do not believe in less is more, more is more. And I just want a big giant sticker that says I voted. If it has lights on it, that's great. I mean, can we like, can we do like an in app purchase? I don't know.

Like, is there a way? I just want something big and obnoxious. You know, I because I know, especially people around town see me know who I am. And if they see that I voted, they can feel sad because I just canceled out their progressive vote. And I want that to come. Through in my giant obnoxious Texas mom size.

I voted sticker. Is that too much to ask? See, I feel like I'm asking for something small. I'm not asking for a lot.

I feel like I feel like a Charlie Brown's little sister, Sally. I'm just asking for what is owed to me. I'm just asking for my share. Just saying. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.