Absurd Truth: Tim Tries Twitch

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. He's a guy who's got one leg, and they call him Lieutenant Dan, and he decided to stay in his 20-foot boat and weather the hurricane. And he survived. And he was trending on social media last night, because everybody was wondering, is Lieutenant Dan safe? And so, and it turns out, he made it, he did make it. And we got some audio of him because he is the Florida Man of Florida Man right here.

He, he survived milking. This is, he started, I don't know, he apparently has got an arrest record. Which one are we playing? I don't even know what to start with.

Okay, let's do, okay, start with the 23. This is Lieutenant Dan. How's the ride? It's going out into the water. It's going out and being pulled out. How are you doing? No problem? Was it as bad as you thought? No. Is the water coming back in or still going out? It's going out.

All right, you hang in there. So I was looking, he apparently, well, his record is just like for boat tickets and stuff like that. Like some people on social were wondering, because apparently there's another guy with his exact same name, that they were looking up another guy's record. But apparently he's got, I mean, I don't know, he's got like, I don't know, like what past tickets and stuff like that drug paraphernalia and he had a possession charge in Broward County, pled no contest. Anyway, the whole point is that this dude stayed on a 20 foot boat in a hurricane, a cat four, cat five hurricane, stayed on the boat. And weathered it.

Do you think I mean, I, I would have been sick dude, because you know, that would have been some choppy, choppy water. Audio sent by 24. So he started a GoFundMe a few weeks ago. We'll get this. Where's I just saw this.

There's one outlet. It's called Kickstream. He's been offered a $2 million kick deal and $100,000 boat. This is audio sent by 24.

Audio sent by 24. He's been offered a $2 million kick deal and $100,000 boat. That is true because Kickstream's live actually confirmed that on X. But there are some people that are trying to do an expose on him and they're trying to I guess say that he that some of the crimes from this other guy are his and they're not. But his was apparently he got in trouble for marijuana before it was legal.

And it wasn't a felony charge. So anyway, I don't know. So it was this lady who did it. First off, don't be a dumb bitch and start slandering somebody on air. Okay?

I don't know. I'm not I'm not apologizing for calling her that or saying her that. This is my saying that she is that because she is. I have a major problem with these people who want to pretend to be journalists. And they get on stupid CCP TikTok. And they make these dumb videos and they run their mouths without doing proper research.

And then they end up slandering and defaming and labeling people. Stop it. Don't be the Karen.

That does that. Okay? Don't be like, I gotta hurry up and make a stupid video for clicks. No one cares. No one will remember your name in 24 hours, but they will remember how you smeared this guy. So stop doing that. Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I hate that that is like a feature of humanity now thanks to social media. And I'm not apologizing for my language.

I would say something way harsher, but I'd be fine. So all he'd got he got busted for pot and that was it. Stop it.

All of that was like running rampant because of this one chick on social media. This guy just wanted to survive the hurricane in his boat with his one leg. That's all he wanted to do. How did he not get tossed out that boat?

I might. Can we throw up that picture that I put in slack? Because someone went by on the dock and they were like, Hey, Lieutenant Dan, that's what they call him. And he popped his head out of the canvas. And it's a meme. This is all going to be as the day after the election. This is going to be the image. I have never felt an image so much in my life because it was just the white tarp and then him poking his head out. And I'm like, that is us.

That is all of us right now. One's getting ready to show it to you. This is going to be our image for that. This is us the day after election.

I'm saving it because I'm going to use this gratuitously. And yes, the woman who did that video was a progressive. Our partners over at Kel-Tec P-15. They made it through the they made it through the hurricane. The inventors of the micro compact pistol category. Kel-Tec the P-15. Lightest, thinnest nine millimeter on the market comes in two versions metal and polymer version metal has the walnut panels on it. Awesome grips. The polymer has a Gator grip texture. I have both of these.

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It's the P-15. Tell them Dana sent you. Welcome back to the program.

Dana Laje here with you at the bottom of this first hour. We're going to get into some of the polling hold up, but I've got to make fun of something so bad. So Timmy Walls hired a they hired a gamer. Kill me now. They hired a gamer to play World of Warcraft.

So he could just give it a rizz right up into the hole. I guess what Zoomer dialect. They hired a gamer to play World of Warcraft. And on Twitch, they had it on Harris's Twitch page.

It was this guy named Preheat. What do they got like 5000 a whole 5000 views whoopity do skippity bop bop rizz rizz wheat. I mean, they got a whole 5000 views. No cap.

Very demure. And I love it. They got this is media just trying to blow this up at its height. The life stream received nearly 5000 views. Kill me.

So they said that after it transitioned to just regular World of Warcraft gameplay dropped about 3500 viewers. I I'm not going to be able to get through this this whole segment without choking to death. So yeah, it's it's that it's this meme where it's you remember an alien where it's Sigourney Weaver, or if you're Al Sharpton, Siginori Weaver. And the aliens right here. Well, somebody replaced it with moo dang and just said skippity rizz, you know, bop bop Ohio and it's like a whole meme. Anyway, so Tim Walz. He went live and they're trying to make a big deal out of it. And this is how they were this is how wired who is wired, which is the leftist site of fake nerds wrote this quote, the Harris's Harris campaign's goal in combining the rally with World of Warcraft gameplay is to increase the Harris and Walz visibility to young men who make up the majority of Twitch's user base.

So that's so lame. You know that these people this is the closest to combat he's ever gotten. By the way, playing World of Warcraft Tim Walz. I mean, he can be like, look, I'm almost there in combat.

Oh, Leroy Jenkins. So the I guess he did he did he actually I don't think he actually played it. Did he just sit there while someone else played it?

Dear heavens, did he? They're watching it to be honest with you. They Oh my gosh, that was the first time that they're going to stream live gameplay on the twitch account. And they did they did he actually did not actually play because he doesn't play. Nobody believes he plays.

I mean, look at I mean, all you got to look at his jazz hands. He knows dude doesn't play. He's he does no idea what this is. He had no idea. So they the Harris campaign described preheat, who specializes in World of Warcraft and writes guides for the game as a volunteer for the campaign.

And Trump, they noted has his own twitch page, but he hasn't uploaded any videos and he's never live streamed a video game. Because he's in he's an older dude who doesn't let's like not pretend like don't sit here and be like, Oh, look at me. Oh, I'm like you guys. I'm just like you kids give me raise. I'm just like you know cap. Nobody. Nobody believes that he does this. Nobody believes that even knows what this is. He's nobody.

Nobody buys this. By the way, I have to say that there's a segment of our audience listening that is like what is she saying? What is she saying?

What is this? She's speaking in tongues segment is me. That is so on point with this with this campaign. So wait a minute, we're not gonna play No, we're not gonna play World of Warcraft.

Someone's gonna play it like next to us. Not even kidding. Is it worse that they paid this guy or girl to react to his own rally just to sit there and stare at it?

Like you need more validation? I'm sorry, what that was the community note that he paid they paid him to react to one of his rallies on Twitch. Okay. Full stop. They paid this dude to do a reaction video to one of Tim wall to the walls rally.

Why are we putting these people in charge of anybody? Oh my gosh. What? Oh, wait, did the rally here was that video of the rally where they were in the gym.

It was literally a walls rally. Oh my gosh, audio somebody 27 got don't spit liquids out. Don't choke on your food because it's so cringe. You could cringe to death. There is a viewer warning with this video. The likelihood of cringing to death is very real. It is a rally in Tucson. We probably can't play any music.

They're playing Beyonce love on top. And I mean, wow. I'm just getting Wow.

Wow. If you wanted to know if what would it look like if you translated a gap sweater set to a gymnasium full of people? This is it. I mean, so I don't know who the guy is dancing. I guess that's part of his I guess it's one of the walls campaign people. But they're playing Beyonce's love on top.

And then they have all these people in this gym. This isn't Tucson. I don't know who the chick in the pink shirt is. I want to die to death. And this is this is like the 2024 campaign version of top that the horrible cringe rap from that one movie starring Blake Lively sister. It was the witch movie. Remember that? Don't Google it, you'll die. It's horrible.

That's one of the worst things that that's their that's their car. So the guy was paid to basically do this kind of reaction to react to that. How does one get that job? How does one like, yes, I would like to react to things pay me. I want to react to Tim waltz his campaign.

Look at all these sad, sad white Marxists. Let's react to them. So they hired they hired this guy just to play the game next to him. And they've been trying to reach people. They've been advertising during you know, on IGN, which is a gaming site. They've been major gaming events, all this stuff.

And they've been trying to reach out now a couple of things with this. Because he doesn't play and obviously it's cringe pandering. But maybe I don't know, like maybe some in the Republican Party should stop this stupid dumb talk against video games, and gaming and maybe engage the gaming community. Whenever I see someone railing against games.

I mean, 10 to 10. It's always either it's always someone who's never played them. They've never played them. I'm just not going to take commentary about how games are bad and how we should ignore them from like some, you know, irrelevant, you know, middle aged, you know, a big government George W. Bush level compassion Republican kind of operative on TV or somebody with their extensions curled into perfect corals on Fox or CNN or MSNBC.

I'm not going to sit here and take these people's commentary about gaming when they don't even play. They have no idea what the community is. They have no idea what goes into it. They have no idea how social it is.

None of it. And they all think that I mean, it's like these people would be gun controllers. Honestly, it's the same logic.

So maybe some of the Republican Party should stop this stupid talk against video games and maybe engage the community instead. And maybe, maybe someone should have told walls that there's a big hurricane that was hit in Florida. Yes, last night. Because that rally was happening yesterday.

The what we just showed you that was happening yesterday. Yeah. This is after months after the runner up killed her cup. Oh, the bear known as Bear 128 beat her opponent chunk by more than 40,000 votes. You actually can vote for the bears over at explore.org and you vote for your favorite favorite that she is a wow. She is a chunk.

How much does she weigh? She's that they said 12 bears ultimately made like the like they were the final of the fattest bears alive. But yeah, she was her cup was killed by male brown bear the day that the brackets were released.

It's a little bad. So she she has a cup. She has a third letter though. She's got a one of her cups from her third letter that was second in the fat bear Junior competition. It's like pageants for bears.

I love it. Oh, Hillary Clinton. Her second book hateful angry book about why she lost sold fewer copies than her first book.

I mean, she barely sold 27,000 copies in her first week. Oh, wow. A Turkish Airlines pilot died. While flying the plane from Seattle, landing in New York emergency landing in New York early Wednesday, the captain lost consciousness mid flight didn't make it airline spokesman said in a statement. They said that he didn't respond to medical intervention. It was an Airbus 350 was going to go to from Seattle to Istanbul. There was a copilot in the cockpit, obviously, but they had to make a four hour flight to it was over northern Canada and had to turn south making a four hour flight to JFK so that they could land and the guy passed a health exam.

Like recently the last time they did it so I don't know. Attorneys voice cloned in an AI in an AI scam conned his dad into giving $35,000 always have a safe word with your family. An attorney issued a warning over an elaborate AI voice cloning scam at full his own daddy handed over $35,000. They were the scammers impersonated Jay Schuster 34 called a 70 year old dad Frank said his son was in an accident needed bail money. And the guy was a retired attorney and he was convinced it was hysterical son and he's been traumatized.

Like I don't know I just feel like you would know. You know, I mean, you would know the a godfather of AI just won a Nobel Prize and he's been warning that machines could take over the world per Wall Street Journal. Jeffrey Hinton hopes the prize will add credibility to his claims about the dangers of the very AI tech that he pioneered. But now he's a newly minted Nobel laureate and he's been saying yes, we're at this we're at this point in history where we got to figure out what's going on. We're going to figure out how to deal with the threat because it's happening.

It's here. A Hawaii fast food worker was fatally stabbed during an altercation with a customer. Oh, well, why? Ronaldo Cheney was charged with murder and content and criminal contempt of court. The 60 year old man is 60 year old Kane remember what you said old people aren't innocent, stabbed and killed a Wendy's employee injured another according to reports. Honolulu had responded their PD.

They he was charged with murder criminal contempt of court. He apparently got I guess got mad over his order and a 44 year old employee intervened and escorted the guy out. And it just it kept on going. Good heavens, like, you know, it's a fast food but stop. We got more on the way.

Stick with us. I need someone to explain to me what is happening in this video that Gretchen Whitmer posted. It's Gretchen Whitmer in one of those horrible camo hats, feeding a Dorito to some chick who's supposed to be I don't know I hate the term influencer. It's just digital prostitute.

And can I don't play the music because I'm sure it'll be copy written. But what is this? It was was this on tik tok? Yeah, I think it originally was on tik tok.

But I think it moved over to Instagram is where I first saw it. And then, of course, they've they've been reposting it on x because there's been a massive attempt apparently to shut this video down. So there's this chick who is kneeling in front of Big Grutch. And Big Grutch in the video, if we have it, hands her a Dorito. Like it's a cracker at church.

And then she like looks at she's looking at the camera. It's weird. And what is with this like millennial obsession to sexify everything? Stop it. Is that actually what's going on?

Actually, a girl? I don't know. Is the video is, is she mocking like Catholics getting? It kind of looks like that. Doesn't it? I don't understand what the point is.

And then she looks at the key. I don't understand. So we were talking about this because so I was where I'm non denominational. I was raised Southern Baptist non denominational.

So we have to ask our it's a new official title. We just bestowed on him, our resident Catholic Steve. So is that I just don't think that that's how it works in the Catholic Church.

I mean, I've I've been in Catholic churches. I don't ever see it working like that. Is that what am I missing? And when is that what it is? Do you think that's what it is? Is that how you look at it? I don't know. When I when I would go to the priest, like over the Eucharist, whoever's giving communion, you're supposed to put your right hand in a copy, like you're copying something and then your left hand under it.

And then you say the body of Christ and then you eat it and cross your, you know, do the cross, but I don't I've never kneeled down doing it. That seems odd. Unless I don't know. That's what it is.

Yeah. Because some people I mean, it isn't that otherwise, I don't know why. Okay, we're and also, why would you post this? First off, why would you do it?

And why would you post it? Right? And I don't what am I missing? You're missing what I'm missing. I have no idea.

Maybe one could throw it up there again. But it looks like maybe it's mocking the communion thing. But I don't really know. I guess it is mocking communion. I guess. I don't know.

I I don't understand what the point of it is. And why. But boy, JD Vance is weird. Yeah, JD Vance is so weird. Look at this video. JD Vance is so weird, though. Look at that video.

The chip. So weird. Word. So weird. Cults.

Conspiracies. Weird. Isn't that how it goes?

Like you're supposed to. Okay, I, you know. All right. Well, there you have it.

So, okay. What's I don't know what the point of that is. But, you know, anyway, It says this girl's a Canadian podcaster, Liz Plante. I'm not going to give her credit here, but I don't know why. I don't know. I don't get the connection here. It must be a dance or something we don't know about.

Oh, my gosh, she's a Canadian. Everybody's a podcaster nowadays. You fart in a mic and you upload it to Instagram and you're a podcaster. You can do that?

Yeah, you can do it. That's what most of it is, anyway. It's all pfft. My opinions.

I wrote something on TikTok. I looked up videos of, like, first communions and how communion's done because, again, I'm non-denominational Baptist from the Midwest, and I see priests actually placing the wafer in the mouth of the people coming up. So the body of Christ is the wafer, the blood is the wine. I feel like if that chick showed up to take communion, like, that's a priest with kicker.

Like, he'd yeet her back. This is governor of Michigan. It's big grutch.

Yeah. Trans Paul Bunyan. Saying absolutely nothing while looking... Looking at the camera all weird. Why do they've got to sexify everything up, by the way?

Why? Is that what it was? Was that sexifying? You're telling me it's not?

Like, her look in the camera, you think she thinks that's sexy? Well, it's big grutch. I mean, it's probably as, like, femme as we can get it.

About as good as it's gonna get. Yeah. I don't know. I just, people are... Look, we live in absurd times, and if this is what I have to comment on, don't expect it to not be absurd. That's all I'm gonna say. I can't watch this video anymore. I'm gonna throw up on everybody and everything. Sorry, Juan. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.