Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Y'all, what have we told people about bodies of water in Florida?
What have we told them? It's going to be a gator in there. I don't care if it's a puddle that's the size of a dime. There's a gator in it. A 34-year-old man was rushed to the hospital because he went for a swim in a Florida lake and guess what? An alligator bit him in the face.
Bit him in the face. And Hillsborough County Fire and Rescue transported the man. They didn't identify him. They just said he had injuries.
And he was taken to the Tampa hospital. But that's like, I'm telling you, this got to be careful, this stuff. How do you get bit in the face though? Were you just like, do you not see it? Does not see it coming to you?
I don't know how that happens. This, um, really, a man was stopped at Miami International Airport with snakes in his pants. I mean, we've all joked.
I mean, we have. Is that a snake in your pants or you just know it is a snake, officer. It's an actual physical snake. They said that they detected a literal bag of snakes in this dude's pants. And they turned them over to Florida Fish and Wildlife. I mean, I don't even, I get weird about putting certain things in my pockets, much less like having like a bag of snakes.
They turn them over to Florida Fish and Wildlife. And earlier, we had the story last week where a dude tried to get a machete through security. So yeah, you don't, don't bring, and it was in a, they were in a sunglasses bag.
I literally, oh, you can't see my arm, but I legit got chills from that. I just. Alright, moving on.
I don't like anything in bags and pants like that. Like, just no. A Florida man was accused of flinging hot coffee at a McDonald's dryther employee because he was overcharged by one cent. Eliezar Ravello was charged with felony battery and accused of slapping hot, slapping hot coffee.
I had to work this out how this works in my head. Slapping hot coffee at an employee. So I guess he slapped it in somebody's hands.
The shift manager said that Ravello was upset because he was overcharged by a penny. And he burnt, apparently scalded the employee's arm and chest. The 64-year-old was charged with felony battery.
And they, yeah, so, and he was on surveillance. 64-year-old? 64-year-old.
Goes into what you say all the time. Old people are not innocent. That's not what I say. I say not all old people are innocent. I know.
I was saying that. A Florida, okay, a Florida man who was taking photos of property that he wants to buy was beaten to a bloody pulp by a guy with a broomstick, said police. St. Petersburg property. They don't give the identities, but they said that he was, he was, he was bludgeoned by this dude. I guess it was a property owner nearby. And of course that guy was taken in for assault.
They didn't really, they didn't give the identities of the guys. But you do have to be careful with that kind of stuff. Like you can't just like, just, you know, just be mindful because other people are very, you know, they're mindful of property. And it does look weird if you're out, you know, in the neighborhood and you're just randomly taking pictures of, you know, somebody's house. It does get weird.
Let's see. They've, they have been, let's see, do you guys remember the boat photo of people dumping trash? They were illegal, they were juveniles engaged in illegal trash dumping.
They turned themselves into the authorities on Friday. Florida Fish and Wildlife had launched this investigation because they got tons of complaints. It was a viral video, which they were dumping mounds of trash. I mean, I didn't even know there was that much trash on the boat, but there was, apparently. And it was a lot of like red Solo cups. It was a Boca Bash. They were at Boca Bash and they filmed this boat dumping two trash cans full of garbage in the ocean. And they got in trouble and they turned themselves in. So at least they turned themselves in. But still, like you can't do this. And a Florida man is suing over an E-game. We're going to have this tomorrow because this guy, it's an esports immigration video game fight.
Stick with us. We got, maybe you've come across this. If you had to go and get a prescription filled, you know, maybe it takes a really long time to get it filled. Or maybe you're told by the pharmacy, they don't have that in stock right now. You don't ever want to be without a medication that you need to get better.
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And I was able to actually do my job and be on air the next day, which is incredibly important for, you know, what I do. You can actually visit TWC.health, that's TWC for the wellness company, dot health slash Dana and use promo code Dana and that'll save you 15%. It's super easy. It's all online. It takes like three minutes. So visit TWC dot health slash Dana and enter code Dana and that promo code Dana that gets you 15% off.
Again, that's TWC dot health slash Dana. CVS has this piece on Cracker Barrel restaurant. The CEO says Cracker Barrel isn't relevant anymore.
I thought this was fascinating. Cracker Barrel, when you, when you sit, when I talk about Cracker Barrel, what do you think of? You think of old folks and jawbreakers. That's what I think of. My grandpa loved Cracker Barrel.
Loved it. But apparently since the pandemic kind of killed out all that off, like a lot of elderly were not going out. They because they when everything shut down, they stopped going to Cracker Barrel and apparently now they don't they haven't recouped their consumer base yet. And so they said now the company's lost some of its shine. They have to have a transformation and they have to continue to appeal to its current customer base.
They have to draw new diners. Their sales have flatlined. And they said that they're inflation weary customers.
That's part of it is inflation. But they said we're not leading in any area. And they said we've lost a lot of markets here, particularly at dinner. So they're trying to refresh. And they're looking at changes. So they want to roll out new dishes. I don't know if any of these dishes are going to do it.
If I'm being honest. Isn't this fascinating? Isn't this like a generational restaurant? When you think of your parents and grandparents, don't you think of Cracker Barrel? Like my grandparents love Cracker Barrel. They loved Cracker Barrel.
Loved it. And I remember being in there when I was younger with my family. And they had those giant jawbreakers. Remember those those big old white speckled jawbreakers? They had those and then they have like a little store in there and all that.
Oh yeah, they still do. It's like an Ozark chain. It's like if you pictured a restaurant that would be an Ozark restaurant, it'd be Cracker Barrel, right? But my grandpa loved Cracker Barrel. Whenever he came up to the city, you know, from the Ozarks, whenever he came up to the city, he had to stop at a Cracker Barrel.
Loved Cracker Barrel. But they said that they're testing out new items. And I'm just wondering if the new dishes are going to do it. Is it new dishes? Is that how you do it?
I don't know if that's the way you do it, right? Because they're doing pot roast, shepherd's pie, chicken and rice. Really? Do you think people are going to be like, oh, I haven't been in more Cracker Barrel in like ever. That chicken and rice dish may tempt me to do it. Really? Oh, they've got chili cornbread, green chili cornbread.
I wasn't going to go before but now I am. Right? And what CEO says brand isn't relevant? Well, this one. Their CEO is totally honest about it. But brand is everything.
I know. She goes, we're not just as relevant as we once were. That's what she said on a May 16 conference call. So that's the perception you need to put out there as the CEO. I just, I don't know. Like, I mean, I don't want Cracker Barrel to not do well, just because I know so many older folks in my family enjoy it.
So I'm looking at this from a purely, you know, selfish love that makes the older folks in my family happy. Don't they got a lot of these? I don't know if they have a lot of these in Texas.
Yeah, I know they got a ton of them in Missouri. Oh, they do? Oh, Juan's like, yeah, they do.
I love the old timers. Wait a minute. Juan, do you go into a Cracker Barrel?
Juan goes into a Cracker Barrel? Why wouldn't he? I don't know.
Because he's not an old folk? Steve, wait. Well, hold up.
Let me check something. You don't have to be an old folk to go into old folks. I know.
I'm not saying, don't get mad at me people. Steve, do you go into a Cracker Barrel? Do you go to a Cracker Barrel? I have in a while, but I've been to them my whole life. Yeah. Huh.
Why do you like it? Or do you just go with family? Damn, they're cheesy hash brown casserole though. Yeah, their breakfast is undefeated. I mean, they have the best breakfast. That's good stuff.
That is true. They had an Uncle Herschel's breakfast. They had an old timers breakfast. I wonder what's still on their menu. They've got like a classic American breakfast, which is nice because you don't get that kind of breakfast unless you're, you know. Juan, do you like the breakfast? Is that what it is?
No. Pancakes, he says. The pancakes. Because do they still do the real maple syrup in the little jars when you order pancakes? You get them little tiny jars of maple. Like in their glass.
100% real maple syrup. Their glass jars. Yes. Maybe that's like the way they go about it. Like in an era of everybody's eating bugs. I hope they're listening right now.
This one's for free. In like an era where everybody's eating bugs, you know, and everything's processed and everybody's getting hiney cancer and all this other stuff. Like, hiney cancer is real, Cain. Is it? Yes. Is that the medical term for it? It's like an epidemic.
That's what everybody's saying. So maybe they're like, hey, this is where that stops. And it's, you know, we're not serving y'all no bugs, not serving y'all no bio, whatever engineered food. This is like the good, like the stuff that like the old folks you love used to make. Now, see, that's that. I'm like, hmm, what?
And that makes me interested. I'm just saying that makes me like, I think I want to go like, wait, you just talk about the maple syrup in a glass jar. Reminding me of that makes me because everybody else is all in plastic, right? We don't serve our stuff in microplastics that get in testicles, apparently, because that happens, too.
It's everywhere. It's been about two years since I've been to a Cracker Barrel. Gosh, it's been like 15 years. I remember loving the coffee, loving the bacon like their breakfast was just amazing. I don't get what the CEO is doing.
I only remember the jawbreaker because I almost broke my head in half on one and I loved it. But but yeah, I don't know what to see. But that's how they got to do that. That's how they need to like refashion themselves. You know what I mean? Let's do this. Roll it out like that.
Dang. I agree with Annie Oakley, who said, quote, I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies. Now, I myself regularly concealed carry a nine millimeter. Now, that said, not every woman is like me, has had the hours of training that I've had or feels comfortable around firearms due to years of use, or maybe they're by a gun-free zone. I'd like to change that what I can while encouraging self-defense at the same time.
So this is where Berne comes in. It's kind of like a starter weapon. It's they make a non-firearm firearm. I like the idea of incredible force sending chemical irritants towards a threat as an additional option for women. And the Berne SD model shoots chemical irritant projectiles, 68 caliber rounds that can deter threats in their tracks up to 50 feet away.
I mean, it is hard. Easy target acquisition, zero recoil. Berne is legal in all 50 states. There's no background checks, no permits required. It's shipped directly to your door. Gun-free isn't applicable to Berne.
It's great for wherever guns are banned. Visit Berne.com slash Dana for 10 percent off. That's B Y R N A dot com slash Dana.
And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So Americans say that they need to earn about one hundred eighty six thousand dollars a year to feel financially secure. It's a new survey from Bankrate, and that's the magic number that they hit. And they said that apparently only six percent of U.S. adults make that amount or more now, according to Bankrate.
The median family income falls between fifty one and eighty six thousand dollars, according to the latest federal data. And that's people are wary of inflation. And so because thirty five percent per the Federal Reserve Bank of Philly, thirty five percent of Americans are worried about making ends meet. That's up twenty nine percent from a year earlier.
You know, that one hundred eighty six thousand number is going to only increase as inflation worsens. So Gen Z-ers are so disillusioned with the economy that they think it's OK to commit fraud. This is a new article from MSN and it talks about the latest online fraud trends and consumer behavior, making purchases online. Like they talk about where they dispute a purchase with their payment provider, despite the purchase being legitimate. I've had people do that to the newsletter sometimes because they forget that they sign up and they don't read the fine print. And all the other stuff where it's like you are the only person that controls your stuff, like I can't sign you up, all this stuff. They forget that they sign up, then they don't recognize Substack and then they try to say it's fraud and it costs like eighty dollars every single time they do it. They said that this is this is that's not Gen Z. They said it's Gen Z respondents that know somebody who's participated in payment fraud or have done so themselves. That's kind of so they'll dispute those like third party purchases. That's kind of that's kind of crazy. Let's see. Thousands of homeowners about to get slammed with higher monthly payments because adjustable rate mortgages are adjusting upwards.
Yay. Thanks, Bidenomics. The Boston Celtics ownership group plans to sell the majority stake. It's led by Weiger's Becker planning to make the franchise available for sale.
They purchased the team in 2002 for 360 million and homesteading is growing. Why? Because the economy is so heinous. Stick with us, because I have a headline about Biden that I can't just say like this. We need more time with it.
Stick with me. A couple of things. What is the man versus bear stuff and why will it not get out of all of my social media feeds? Have you guys heard about this? The man versus bear thing? It's like a stupid like a feminist thing. Is it feminist?
I don't know. So apparently women were asked if you were alone in the woods, would you rather encounter a bear or a man? Now, I'm always armed, so I'm going to have, you know, a nine millimeter that's not going to handle a bear.
So I would feel better meeting a man because if you try to get weird, I just shoot him. So who has this? People are picking bear. Is that the whole thing? Women are picking bear? Someone wrote bear.
Man is scary. Why isn't why are bears and men being asked the question of what would you do if you encountered a woman in the forest? Men should be asked if you encountered a woman or a bear in the forest.
What would you do? If you encountered, who'd you rather encounter in the forest and why? A bear or a woman? I'd see more right to encounter a bear. Yeah. Because I don't know, there's trouble. You encounter a woman in the woods, you better run away like right away because you'll either A, get blamed for something or B, just hear nonstop nagging about being in the woods. Yeah.
And when you can't correct them, it's mansplaining. Steve, would you rather encounter a woman or a bear in the woods? I was asked this question on Saturday and I think- He was not. You were not asked that question. I was because someone was on Twitter while we were at the bar and I said, I said bear. You said bear.
Yeah, see, there it is. Now why would you rather encounter a bear? Because I've never seen one like that in the wild. That's what he picks. He picks a bear because he's never seen a bear in the wild. Not at a zoo.
Gosh, you got to love how wholesome he is. Wait a minute. This has nothing to do with how you don't want to encounter a woman in the woods? Maybe. Oh my gosh.
That's the part that I'd like to explore a little. So he's not interested in the woman. He just said never seen a bear in the wild.
And so he wants to- We've seen women in the wild. That'd be a real treat. I love it. I love it. If I had to encounter, if I had to pick a bear or another woman, I could, well, I just look at what can I overpower? Right.
So I pick a woman. Yeah. Yeah. I could just, you know, she tried to get weird too. I just, you know, same nine millimeter.
Or I just whoop her. One of our contributors in Slack made a good point about some different way of putting this situation. Uh-huh. You can read it for yourself, but I'll let you read it. Oh, you're going to read it. Wait, what?
Is this the Foster Brooks? No. What? You're talking about the quote in general. The quote in our Slack channel. That's one of our contributors put that. Okay.
I was like, I don't know if the chat's dying now. Oh yeah. Well, a bear would, a bear would just kill me. A man would take advantage of me first. That's what the premise is that men would like apparently rape the woman first and a bear would only kill blah, blah, blah.
Ladies, not every man wants to have sex with you. Just don't want to burst your bubble, but you know, you're not all that. Okay. The fact that we dedicated four and a half minutes of broadcast time to this subject is ridiculous. I think it's hysterical.
It says everything that there is about culture. That there, I just, who walks around like everybody wants to get with me? Everybody wants to like have the sexes with me. Like it's just all the mens everywhere.
Who walks around things like that? Not every man is a predator. Not every man is a predator. Just like, well, I'm not going to say that part, but you know what I mean? Come on.
See, I don't know. Now maybe I would rather encounter a bear than a woman in the woods because a woman would drive me absolutely bat crap insane. Women drive me nuts. I'm a woman. Is it a third wave feminist?
Because I think that's important. What wave are we on? Eleventh? I think we're in like the fourth wave.
The fourth turning. I don't know. We're somewhere way beyond Susan B. Anthony.
That's all I know. If it's a second or third wave feminist, then yeah, I'd definitely prefer a bear. Wait, you got to do, you're going to check the, wait a minute now, lady. You tell me, are you, which wave feminist are you?
And then I'm going to, and then I'll either pick hanging with you or get mauled by this bear. So. Thumbs up to the first wave.
All the other waves, you're just, you're horrible. Well, I mean, I like the equal pay that's, you know, for, I like meritocracy, but aside from meritocracy, you know, to hell with everything else. That's the patriarchy though, isn't it? Meritocracy?
Meritocracy is not patriarchy. Oh, that's what they say. Who says that? Oh, the left. Oh, they're a bunch of bitches. Who cares?
Who cares? Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
