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Absurd Truth: National Gay Flag Football League

Dana Loesch Show / Dana Loesch
The Truth Network Radio
June 19, 2024 3:31 pm

Absurd Truth: National Gay Flag Football League

Dana Loesch Show / Dana Loesch

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June 19, 2024 3:31 pm

The Buffalo Bills plan to sponsor the National Gay Flag Football League chapter in Buffalo. Meanwhile, The White House decides to invite the cast of Queer Eye to visit.

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Dana Loesch Show
Dana Loesch

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. All right, so, Ken, do you like honey buns, like the packaged pastry? When I was a kid, I used to love honey buns. Man, when I was in college, honey buns were the jam. Because I had I'd go and I'd have like a break. I remember I had one year in particular, I had like a half hour break. And it was like snack time. Man, I'd go and I'd get me like a black coffee and then I'd get me a honey bun. It was the best. It was always the best when you had stuff to do, right? And you were you were in the grind.

So why are you gonna be disrespecting it like this, Andre Eason? Florida Man from Pinellas County was arrested because he smacked his girlfriend in the face over a honey bun. And he smacked her in the face. According to the affidavit, he was placed in custody for domestic battery release later that day. And he was like, shut your mouth, woman.

And that's what we got. out of the sheet at nighttime when you're sleeping, because that's when the monsters can get it. They got to respect the blanket rule.

If the blankets over the foot monster can't touch it, right? So just because you run into the bathroom and lock the door, I mean, the cops can't go in there and get you especially if you try to steal a car. I was arrested. He called 911 from inside the victim's home.

Why? Because he locked himself in there. He was trying to escape getting his butt handed to him by the homeowner who caught him red handed trying to steal his car.

Broward County Sheriff's Office deputies responded, and they found the victim in the bathroom. And he said the guy was trying to hit me. He was hitting me because you were trying to steal his car. You weirdo.

What's the matter with you people? Golly, and he's like an older dude. Oh, he's beaten up pretty bad. He's gonna need stitches in that eye. But he was taken into what first Florida Medical Center and then he's in Broward County jail.

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I made sure this was real. And it's on the Buffalo Bills site. So the Buffalo Bills are sponsoring a national gay flag. Oh, flag. A little Football League.

I was told I could not drop the L. I did check. They're creating a national gay flag. Football League chapter in Buffalo. Now, my first thought was, do you have to make flag football gayer? That's my first thought. And my second thought is, well, I would think tackling would be a priority. And then my third thought was immediately I went to names that I cannot say on air. But I just so they have like all these different cities.

I don't really know where to go. I don't really know what they do. So I guess what makes it gay flag football, or flag football? What makes it that? They just slap a rainbow on it. And they're like, Oh, there's the rainbow. Like what is?

Wait, that's Skittles. I don't know. But what makes it gay? Only gay people can play or they play a gay way.

I don't I legit don't know. That's like say we're gonna have gay dodgeball. Well, how is it different from regular dodgeball? Well, it's gay. What does that mean? Well, we pause during halftime and have sex with dudes. What? I just don't know what it means.

What makes it gay? Like that's you see these differentials are so stupid. But I was thinking, you know, if I were doing it, and I got this again, shouldn't be in charge of things.

Or should I? Well, I you know, I love the idea of being a sports announcer, even though I know nothing about football. But I would be really great at like team names and stadium names and promotions and things like that. Yeah, so Kane sent me a list of names and I have a list of names.

And I just you know, I was just thinking how would that work? Well, you can't use most of my list. Why did you send it? Because I thought you'd get a chuckle out of it.

Not that you'd use it on the air. How long have you known me? A long time. Kick it, Steve. Kick it.

I can't play the NFL football music. Welcome back to Hershey Highway Stadium here in San Francisco, where tonight, the Los Angeles Rump Raiders face off against the Green Bay Grinders. Yes, the grinders were 3-0 last Sunday against the Tennessee Turd burglars and whoa, was it a game. And don't forget Pittsburgh Poundtown's incredible play last night against the Portland Pillowbiters. My goodness, it's all nuts to butts tomorrow against the Chicago Bay And tonight at the Hershey Highway Stadium, it's Flag Night. Fly your LGBTQIA P2SBBQWTFTTYL flags tonight in support of LGBTQIA P2SBBQWTFTTYL. Brought to you by Monkey Pox, the hot new dive bar in Hell's Kitchen featuring popular house band, the Van Dykes, who plays Scissor Sisters tunes backwards set to dubstep spun by Meow Mix, the proto furry DJ quintet of New York City. And don't forget, Bob Marley, who plays Scissor Sisters tunes backwards set to dubstep spun by Meow Mix, the proto furry DJ quintet of New York City.

And don't forget, Bob Friday, the Minneapolis Man Caves take to the turf against the Toronto Twinks at the Cubby Hole Stadium in New York. There's your lineup. The erection. Yep. Wow. You'd watch that, wouldn't you?

No, you wouldn't, would you? Yeah. What now? It sounded exciting the way you did it.

I can create some energy. Yeah, the things in there that you said. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, who doesn't want to see a proto furry DJ quintet in New York City? Man. I need your analysis, Dick.

Well, the Milwaukee Man handlers are going to be no match for the Nashville Knob Gobblers coming up next weekend there, Bob. Just saying. So is that what what it's going to be?

Now? Here's my other question. Is it like dudes and chicks on the same team? Or is it like dudes and then chicks but then also can't people not define what a woman is? So is it like I'm confused.

How does that going to work? Is it the full spectrum of all the letters? With the with the rainbow alphabet? acronym, whatever? Or are the T's not involved?

It sounded like it was just LGB, right? Oh, I don't know. Not the T's? I don't know. Because they got some of those trans flag stuff in there. So I'm that's why I'm asking.

You know, are you gonna be up against them like refrigerator Perry size chicks on your team? Like I'm just curious. Is it just me or should it not?

Sorry, I forgot it wasn't tackle. What? So just me or should it not be this confusing? Oh, no, it shouldn't be this confusing. But can we live in a new era where everything's stupid?

So yes, it is going to be that confusing. You know why? Because we are an indulgent species. We are stupid, weak people. And we're indulgent. And we've created problems for ourselves. We solved all these other problems of like diseases and famines and things like that. And so we're like, we're bored. Let's create some more diseases and famines and, you know, problems and instability. And then when we decided that wasn't enough, let's just make it real confusing as to what people's bits are. Yeah, let's do that. So now everyone's a his, hers, his set, whatever.

But I'm saying that's what you get with alphabet whole month of this a whole month. I agree with Annie Oakley, who said, quote, I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies. Now I myself regularly concealed carry nine millimeter. Now that said, not every woman is like me has had the hours of training that I've had or feels comfortable around firearms due to years of use, or maybe they're by a gun free zone. I'd like to change that what I can while encouraging self defense at the same time.

So this is where burnout comes in. It's kind of like a starter weapon. It's they make a non firearm firearm. I like the idea of incredible force sending chemical irritants towards a threat as an additional option for women and the burnout SD model shoots chemical irritant projectiles 68 caliber rounds that can deter threats in their tracks up to 50 feet away.

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It's great for wherever guns are banned. Visit burnout.com slash Dana for 10% off. That's b y r n a.com slash Dana. Archaeologists find the depiction of a Simpsons character and a 3000 year old Egyptian mummy coffin. It's supposed to look like an Egypt warrior Pharaoh, maybe sort of.

They said but it looks like a mark. It looks like Marge Simpson. It literally looks like Marge. I think it. I mean, it looks just like Marge Simpson.

Green tube dress, blue hair sticking up. It's really funny. I mean, and how many years old 3500 sounds looking for it. It's 3000 Yeah. 3000 years old. And I don't know why they drew with only four toes, but okay. Five fingers before. Oh, no, wait, one, two, three.

Now she's got five toes on one and four toes on the other. That seems like an oversight. Or is it? Is it? So it just they found the mummy in excellent condition beat address.

They said it was a very rare find, but it totally looks like a mummy. Like Marge Simpson. Just saying, just saying. Also, Star Wars fans abandoned Star Wars, as Disney plus brings on the lesbian space witches. It's horrible. They're ruining everything. So Star Wars acolyte. It's an eight part series streaming on Disney and everybody hates it because it's try so hard to be woke.

I mean, they try really hard. They have it's being called a queer Marxist vandalization of the myth of Star Wars and an embarrassment to the entire franchise. They said it's the gayest Star Wars yet. Basically, you can have like lesbian Jedi that can make force babies. Figure that out.

lesbian a coven of lesbian space witches who use the force to make force babies. Not even kidding. This is so bad. It's so bad. I mean, anything where there's a like women have all of my worst experiences have been in things dominated by women where because women are just we're bitches. Let's just be real.

And I can't imagine that this movie is going to be any different than human reality. So a man beaten with a bat nearly four decades ago actually finally dies of his injuries four decades ago, Pennsylvania man. He was beaten with a baseball bat and a coroner has now local coroner said that it's his death is now technically a homicide because the injuries called permanent from the the assault caused permanent traumatic brain injuries and complications as a result. And it was defuse traumatic brain injury that ultimately did it. So because the injury was permanent, and it contributed to his deterioration and ultimately end of life. Now it's considered to be a homicide, which makes sense.

That makes sense. British tourists may face lie detector tests when trying to enter the EU. The people going on vacation to European Union countries, they have probably gonna have to undergo lie detector tests when entering with AI software set to flag any anything suspicious to immigration officers. checks are reportedly set to come in force at airports and ferry terminals as EU Oh, they're going to tighten their their borders to Britain. But not to like I don't know Libya and Tunisia and everywhere else like really, you're gonna to to Algeria to Afghanistan to Iran.

You're gonna tighten your everywhere else but not there. Okay. Not all those other places. You're gonna let them go everywhere else. But Britain No, that's so dumb.

It's so dumb. A German MEP member of Parliament was all was all on it. Of course they were. The EV startup Fisker files for bankruptcy after suspending production. Oh, I'm so sad. That's by the way, that's the car company that the Biden's had stake in. You know that right?

That was the big fancy EV that he got from one of those Chinese businessmen with CEFC. Oh, my gosh. So apparently, this is what the White House was doing yesterday.

You know, everybody's going broke and people are getting raped in parks and criminals are just, you know, deluge across the border. It's this guy this I don't even know who this is. I had to look him up.

Because I have taste. So I don't know who he is. His name is Jonathan van Ness.

And it looks like he's wearing just like great value Natori. And you know, only like five people are gonna know what that means. And shows up to the White House and I love how ingratiated Kamala Harris has to protect has to act. Welcome back to the program, Dana lash with you. Just such a circus of butt kissery, right? She has to act so like, Oh, my gosh, hi, I cannot do that. I would this is why I also came could not work as a publicist, as you know, because it makes me hate people more. If I have to act like I like them.

I cannot do it. And she's going, Oh, hi. Yeah, come on and wink shrug. And then he shows up like that. He shows up in this like knockoff Natori caftan. What is it?

sidebar? What is up with like gay dudes and caftans? Is that your only option of dress? Like you got to dress like a Mrs. Roper reject? What in the world?

Like why? With your lank hair? Good heavens, like product.

Just good. You're the worst gay dude I've ever seen in my life. Is that other guy with him gay?

Because it's a little bit better. I mean, he's not gay. I mean, his jacket and his pants don't really match his jacket looks wrinkled. It looks like it's two different material. One looks like it's a polyester material. The other looks like it's a linen weave.

Those are just two completely incompatible fabrics to wear in June. Why are you killing me? Sorry.

I was raised Southern Baptist. You know, I was scrolling across that on my feed through x. And I saw it, you know, the first thing I thought was, like, Oh, what Jesus is visiting the White House. I'm like, this is good thing. Bring a play, right?

No, to flip tables. Like they were, you know, they were bringing Jesus in. Like, yeah, that's what I thought. Jesus is gonna take Biden off.

Just alas, it was not Jesus. So this guy is really, he's like a big advocate for experimental surgery for kids. The medical and surgical transition saying they're totally reversible, which they're not unsafe. And yeah, and he's, I just okay, something. This is I gotta get super catty. If you're gonna wear a body con, you got to have the body to wear body con, you know what I mean? So for the guys out there who are like, Hi, Dana, we have testosterone, we don't know what the hell you're talking about. We're men. So that's like a clingy dress.

That's all you need to know. Body con is a clingy dress. Your wife and your girls know what it is.

Okay, contour zone. It's like it's clingy, right? It's not it's not very forgiving in terms of the silhouette. So any pooch is going to show.

And he's got to he's just got too much showing right? Like you cannot do you should not be wearing body con. You're just not fit for it. It's not it's not for that sort of please know. It's like, no.

Look at it like this body con is like the casing on sausage. There you go. Make sense.

Okay, in this case, more literal than Oh, completely literal. I just don't know why this is happening. So this guy was invited to the White House. Now a friend of mine noted that the Afghan is the families who lost loved ones in Afghanistan are service members. They couldn't merit an invite to the White House like this. But this guy could.

Why? Because he likes to have sex with dudes. So that gets you an invite to the White House between the two of them. You lose your kid in a disastrous withdrawal from Afghanistan, thanks to Biden, and that doesn't merit you an invite to the White House.

Look at the whole kind of White House is this that that's what that's what it takes in order to get an invite. I just it's just asinine. It's just so insulting.

So they they had I guess what so they were all they were celebrating the 20th anniversary of Queer Eye. And that's who was up there. And he comes like every outfit he's in is a caftan and I'm just dying.

And he's wearing slides and one of them good grief. I'm just not going to get over this. It's just the worst gay dude ever. So I don't know. I don't I mean, this is who they have. I thought they said that they were bringing decency back to the White House or something. Is that right?

I don't know. But that's who that's who they had come in. And then what did did he do we have the one where he shook her hand? Well, we had that.

Yeah, we played that one. So they had the Queer Eye cast meeting with Kamala Harris. At least the other guys were dressed appropriately.

They didn't wear swimsuit cover up, I suppose. The other the Jesus looking guy. What's his name?

Jonathan van Ness. He was wearing something like he was he came from kindergarten watercolor class. Yeah, that's the bodycon dress. Whatever it is like that pastel hot mess that he was wearing. Just and this one guy's jackets bothering me so bad. Like I feel like he's gonna rip the sleeves off because he's too portly to cross his arms in front of them.

Like this guy that comes up with the simulcast areas. He's his jacket. Look at the two different material. Oh, my gosh.

And is that an untucked shirt underneath? Kill me now. What in the world?

Like I just can't like don't don't. You're a fake gay. You're fake. Prove it. Kiss that guy right now because you don't dress like a gay dude.

Sorry. Wait, it's still Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I don't know. Is it still like that is the name of the show? I don't even know what that show's about. I've never watched it.

Remember when it first came out? It was Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. And they were like these.

I don't even know what that meant. What it was was these gay guys were like trying to glam up these straight guys. These guys were? Yeah, like these guys in the video. I don't know about these guys. Is that one guy seriously wearing like a pastel yellow three piece?

All the vomit in the world. Yes. What? He is. Oh, my God. I can't. Yellow.

It's canary. You guys don't understand. I was raised by southern women. So this is why I'm the way I am. I blame all of that with with the Baptist Church Sunday morning dress mentality.

So that's I come by it honest. I just want to know if they're still for the straight guy. That's Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I have no idea what it's called.

I just like one of those guys could adequately dress. Yeah, I just hear it referred to as Queer Eye now. I don't hear the rest of the name of that show. Oh, gosh. Can't deal. You know what else I can't deal with? Because it's like the alphabet month stuff. You know, D-Day, you know, Normandy. They get a day.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-06-19 17:03:00 / 2024-06-19 17:12:04 / 9

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