Absurd Truth: Dana Suddenly Gets Older

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so first up here, a Florida Man pretended to be a Disney World staffer to steal a famous character. And of course, everything just froze up because everything sucks. But why would you want to? I would think that, you know, Disney would probably at this point because they're so devalued would give it give it away for free.

So if I can get this thing pulled up, I'll get it to you. In the meantime, though, a Florida woman was accused of kicking an ER nurse in the stomach and was arrested for a DUI according to WFLA. That's yeah, you can't be doing that kind of stuff. The woman was super drunk.

A Florida Highway Patrol trooper responded to a crash on Sunset Point Boulevard after a woman collided with a tree. A 47-year-old Katrina McRae, she had empty alcoholic drinks in the driver's side door pocket of her Lexus. And that's not allowable at all. Not allowable.

She was arrested, taken to Sumter County Jail. Hi, I'm Erica, an English major at Hillsdale College. Here's Hillsdale President Dr. Larry Arnn with a Constitution Minute. Human soul is made to learn. And the highest things of life are the best things to learn. One of these, it turns out, is the way we govern ourselves. And one of the best examples of that is the Constitution of the United States. It explains what our government should look like and how it should function to best protect our rights. It was created to give us the freedom to make choices about the way we wish to live. Unfortunately, most colleges and universities today fail to teach our Constitution.

When they do, they often denigrate it. This is dangerous because it is impossible to preserve our liberty if we don't understand where it comes from and how to protect it. Having a proper civics education is essential to preserving our freedom.

To learn more and get a free pocket Constitution, visit Constitutionminute.com. Big grocery decided they're going to jack up prices. Shrink your candy bars. Big grocery. Big cookie. Big cereal.

Everything's big. He said last month during State of the Union, quote, too many corporations raise their prices to pad their profits. Oh my gosh. He sounds like, you know what he sounds like? He sounds like an eighth grader who just had a political awakening and they sound stupid left. That's what it sounds like. You all know those people.

You get the people who are newly awakened to stuff and they just they do stuff like this. Well, it's not because of, you know, it's not because I won't stop spending and have spent more. And it's not because I won't stop raising taxes. It's because big grocery. That sounds so dumb. That is the dumbest. And who believes this? That is the dumbest damn thing I've ever heard. It actually kills my brain cells to try to make sense of it. And that's without the benefit of alcohol.

Good night. Well, you know, I forget I regret saying it was transitory. Janet Yellen with inflation. We just played that last week. Did we not?

That was last week. And then I see all these billionaires. So what are they selling all their shares?

They're there. It's making me nervous, King. I mean, an incoming crash. Like by how bad they've been delaying this. And yeah, they're going to delay it until, like, say, Biden loses and then they're going to be like, look what Trump did.

Yeah, they'll start letting it decay right after November 5th that they lose. So you're saying I should put my money in my mattresses now? Yeah. Or buy precious metals. Like from Goldco. Like exactly. Make sure you use Kodana.

Sidebar. When I was young, my step-grandmother, when she passed, I've noticed that there's this with older people, especially like the greatest generation, they kept everything. Like my grandmother would reuse foil. My step-grandmother, my step-dad's mom, she would, you know, the nesting mixing bowls, she would hide things in them. She would have like important documents and then a bowl and then like a tchotchke and a bowl.

Yes, it was the weirdest thing. So when she passed and they all had to clear out her, it was a small, modest apartment and it just looked like she kept her big furniture from her big wedding or her big bedroom set from when she was married. But everything else was pretty modest. And, you know, she didn't have a whole heck of a lot at first glance. Then when they started going through her stuff, I'm going to tell you, those old folks, if you want something hidden, give it to an old folk. They will hide it and they will hide it so damn well they won't even remember where it is.

It is so good. I mean, she had stuff in places I never would have thought to put things. She would tape things to the bottom of stuff.

And it would be kept and you would open it and it would be nice and neat. You never knew. You didn't know.

It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. And they were going through all her stuff and like, oh, my gosh, and just finding all of these things that were hidden in all of these different, you know, little spots. I mean, I never, you know, legal documents.

Should I have legal documents in the weirdest of ways? I mean, it's actually genius now that I think about it. You know, they should do a class on that.

Right. I'm just saying like, who needs a safe? We got an old person who can hide stuff in your house.

You don't need a safe. Get you an old person to hide stuff. I mean, they were finding all kinds of stuff like bracelets and some ear because she didn't wear a lot of jewelry. She would keep it, you know, if like her family gave it to her husband, gave it to whatever. But she didn't keep it like a jewelry box.

You know, it would you know, if it was a ring, it would be taped to the bottom of something that had a recessed bottom and you could tape it on there. So it's still, I mean, genius. Genius. So I'm just saying, do I need to start doing that? I feel like I should.

But here's my problem. So I also have this habit. I don't know why, but part of me mentally is like a World War Two greatest generation kind of hide stuff person.

I will get Christmas presents for people and I will hide them. I've done this for years and I forget it. I forget where it's I forget it.

I forget where it's at. I have to make notes for myself. So this is one of the reasons why I keep everything itemized.

It looks like chaos to you at first glance, but I swear it makes like the best sense ever. And I, I just cannot. I think I'm going to have to do that.

I think I would have to start like maybe hide money and hide an important stuff like that. I have some bowls. Yeah, we do it, too. That was like actually one of the most genius things I've ever seen. Taking think about it. You're you're mixing bowls, right? Legal document bowl, legal document bowl. That goes, that's genius. That's beyond money in the Bible.

She's yeah, she's she was living in like 30, 40, like way ahead of us. My grandfather would keep mounds of cash in the family, in the family Bible, in the middle of the coffee table, in the middle of his house. They never lock their doors. A little 800 square foot house in Ozarks. They never lock their door. And I remember asking him, I saw him open it one day and I was like, why do you have all this money in here?

What are you? Are you worried? I was like, Grandpa, you put that in the bank.

He hated banks and hated hospitals. And I said, it's not very safe for it to be there. And he goes, no heathens going to look in here.

I was like, he's right. Because they never had an issue. Right. I don't know. But man, that's that's that's something else.

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That's CaltechWeapons.com. Tell them that Dana sent you. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So this is breaking. So now Senate Bill four. That's just before in Texas. The law that said that the state of Texas could detain, jail, remove illegal immigrants in the state. The Supreme Court has just came out.

MBC allows Texas to enforce immigration law. The Biden administration, remember, had sued to block the law. But now and then there was an injunction against SB 4. But now SCOTUS has said, no, we're all good.

But it's still going to play out. It still has to go go through the lower courts. But they said that, yes, Texas can enforce SB 4 right now. That gives local police the power to arrest people who enter illegally, arrest in jail. So that can go into effect.

Litigation goes on the lower courts. It still could. Ultimately, they could block it at a later date. But in the meantime, it's going to continue. They the majority did not explain its reasoning. Amy Coney Barrett.

NBC notes wrote separately to note the appeals court has yet to weigh in on the issue. So as we were saying on break, the yeeting can commence. We'll come back to this because it's an important one. I also saw this came up, found this one. Oh, Plano.

Sorry. Plano, Texas. One and a half million gallons. Gallons of sewage was leaked, leaked into White Rock Creek in Plano. The city said it was a valve failure at a lift station and that it caused wastewater to basically flood. And some of the mechanical equipment shut down and that resulted in a sewage overflow. Tasty.

This is literally California eating my Texas. Poopoo water. Plano said that it's drinking water, though, is not effective.

And it's safe to use. Just don't drink out of that White Rock Creek, especially if it's got some floaters in there today. So don't. I know I'm 12 years old. Bear with me. Come on. I earned it.

I've earned it. Also, you're like, please don't get back to more serious issues. This a huge volcano erupted again in Iceland, spewing bright orange lava into the air. Don't live by volcanoes. And a chunk of a Boeing 737 fell off a united flight.

This one from San Francisco to southern Oregon. And tomorrow I'll share with you the crocodile handler who almost lost his genitals. Now we'll have that one for tomorrow. It's not a Florida man story, believe it or not.

Stick with us. I know I wasn't going to talk about this. Now I'm going to. The Don Lemon interview. The Elon Musk thing. And I'm only bringing it up because I watched a video this morning where Elon Musk makes meme-worthy faces as he tries to wrap his head around the idea that Don Lemon doesn't understand the concept of hypotheticals.

So if you didn't know, and this is just very amusing. So Don Lemon gets axed. Well, he ended up getting a payday. How much did he get from CNN? He got a nice payday. Several, a few million. 17 million? I don't know. Cut seven, we have some of it. Yeah.

He I mean, he got a nice payday. So let me just let me set it up and then we're going to play this. So he then makes a deal with X to where he has a new program and X is going to stream his show or carry his show exclusively.

So it's not going to be on any other platform. And then I guess for one of his first interviews, Don Lemon decides to interview Elon Musk, the guy employing him, which is something you never really do if it's not going to be softball particularly. And it went horribly because Don Lemon, I guess, decided, OK, well, we've signed a contract, so I'm protected. You can't keep you can't keep fire me.

You got to keep me and I can just abuse you as much as I want. Well, he found out the hard way that Elon Musk doesn't care about any of that stuff and doesn't operate by societal demands. So he fired him. And Don Lemon's been bitching and moaning this entire time. Audio Soundbite 7 gives you some insight. It was he because Musk got mad and you could tell he was annoyed and he was really trying to, you know, keep a hold of. I had been mad.

I yelled at him. But listen, this is Audio Soundbite 7. When the census is done, the census is based on all all people in an area, whether they are citizens or not. So if there are a concentration of people who came here illegally in in a in a particular state or in a particular state, that state will actually then get an increased number of house seats. So the house seat apportionment is proportionate to the number of people, not the number of citizens. So the illegals overwhelmingly go to places like California, New York, and the if you just look at the math, if you look at the apportionment with and without illegals, I believe California would lose. I believe I believe the blue state there will be a net loss of blue states of approximately 20 seats in the house. This also applies to the Electoral College.

So you say, well, this also applies to electing the president because the same the electoral votes are also done by apportionment the same way that house seats are done. Don Lemon has no he's just Don Lemon is sitting there. He's not listening and absorbing this information. He's waiting to talk.

There's a big difference. And you can tell I hate that. But did you hear what he was asking for? When, when he was, I mean, you know, I you miss all the shots that you don't take, I guess. But he asked for in his contract and all of this came out. He wanted a Cybertruck, right? He wanted, what is it?

25 million a Cybertruck and however many shares of X or shares a number a number of shares in X. Isn't that what he wanted? Dude straight up asked for a Cybertruck. I mean, he asked for that child's drawing. Kidding.

So he tried. Can you imagine that? Is he worth all that? Millions of dollars is Cybertruck and shares in X.

Are you serious? Look, I will say I give him credit for asking what he thinks he's worth. Now, notice I said what he thinks he's worth. Because he might value himself a little bit to a little bit more than some other people would value him.

But, you know, you get out there and you ask for what you think you're worth. This is why I always get so mad with these Hollywood starlets who raise hell because the much more famous box office draw dude name. Their name is that gets top billing or paid more. And I'm like, OK, well, then if you can be as much of a box office draw as this guy, you can get paid the same. And also, it's not this guy's fault that your agent sucks.

Right. I have an agent. And and I mean, we I go I've gone through this for years. You do not ever be afraid to ask what you think you're worth. I will literally ask you.

I will drag it. I will ask you. I will tell you what I think I'm worth. And I will say this is what you got to meet right here. It's a fun process. Everyone loves me, including my lawyer. They all love me. This is the only time where I'm like super insufferable.

But I always get mad at these starlets and people who don't ask for what they think they're worth. At least he did, Cain. He's like, you know, I'm worth a Cybertruck and millions of dollars in shares and X. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.