Absurd Truth: Security For Me, Not For Thee

It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. Well, this guy needed a shirt, obviously, and so he stole one from a church thrift store. Michael DaCosta made no effort to cover his genitalia, the store clerk told sheriff's deputies. He was arrested after he allegedly stole a t-shirt from a church thrift store naked.

Fox 35 Orlando, citing an arrest affidavit, reported that Michael DaCosta, 38, was arrested last Wednesday at the Wings of Faith thrift store in Ocala. They were called to respond to a report of a naked man running around everywhere. He allegedly entered the Wings of Faith thrift store fully nude and snatched a t-shirt from the store on his way out when asked to leave. He made no effort to cover his genitalia while in the store and was acting erratic. But then, I mean, he did steal a shirt. In his defense, he did steal a shirt to cover up.

It may not have been long enough, but, you know, give the guy some credit here. Come on, people. This guy in Florida was arrested for DUI after going the wrong way on Interstate 4. Florida Man was arrested for driving under the influence after going the wrong way early Sunday morning.

That happened to me once. I wasn't driving drunk on the wrong way, but I had a car coming at me the wrong way on a highway. That is probably one of the scariest feelings in the world when you see a car coming head on with you on a major interstate highway. That, I'm telling you right now, that is, especially at night, the lights, you see them coming on, you feel like you're in some sort of a movie.

It's terrifying. This Florida Man demanded a trial because he says the cheesy combo snacks don't have enough cheese. He's not wrong.

He's going after combos. And in the filing, he pointed to the fact that the cheddar cheese flavored version of the snacks is marketed with a picture of a large block of cheese. And the label's filling made with real cheese and natural flavors. However, he also cited the ingredients list, which said the snacks are less than 2% cheese blend. So you're getting cheesed here. And that's what he said essentially now. Now, I don't know if this is really going to become a thing, but if there's an opportunity for lawyers to get a class action lawsuit and a large cash settlement, because you've been deprived of the cheese that you deserve from combos, you know there's lawyers out there salivating for the opportunity to do it. No question about it.

I remember when Caltech first started working with us on radio and people got real nervous about it and we had some people in some markets go, I don't know. I mean, you know, maybe we could just like not go into the weeds. What do you want me to call them? Shooty sticks?

I mean, like, what do you want me to call them? They have a new sub 2K Gen 3. Well, it's the Gen 3, the third generation of their sub 2K.

If you go to their website, it's the sub 2000. But it's awesome. I mean, you know, it's like gun origami. It folds and you would have to take the optics off and all of that. Now you don't have to because it like twists and folds. It's so cool the way that they all of the stuff that they come up with.

And yes, the optics stay on. It's just the way that they do it. You can still fold it in half. It's a twist and fold.

It's patent pending. It's such an awesome. It's such an awesome guy. I love my sub 2K.

I don't have the Gen 3, but I'm going to get it. And I love it. And of course, this is a Florida based company. Everything that they do is right here in the U.S. of A. And they are like minded.

They think like you and they support your rights. And actually, I'm going to be at their booth as well coming up tomorrow. You can find out where that is if you're at SHOT Show. I'll be at their booth tomorrow after broadcast. To learn more about the sub 2K Gen 3, visit keltechweapons.com.

K-E-L-T-E-C weapons dot com. Tell them Dana sent you. I'm going to make sure I have security because I know I have had attempts on my life and I have too much work to do. There are too many people that need help right now for me to allow that. So if I end up spending two hundred thousand, if I spend ten, ten, ten more dollars on it, you know what?

I get to be here to do the work. So suck it up and defunding the police has to happen. We need to defund the police and put that money into social safety. Oh, you know that voice, don't you? That squad member and lunatic, Cori Bush, who's now under investigation for the private security. Welcome back to the Dana Show. Dana is off today. It's me, Rich Zeoli from Dana's affiliate, WPHD in Philadelphia.

Great to be with you this afternoon. Hoping Dana's voice comes back very, very soon. So squad member and lunatic Cori Bush, I mean, she is one of the greats, is she not? Literally in that clip, 30 seconds, she told you why the police need to be defunded, why she deserves private security and why you don't deserve to have any security.

In 30 seconds, she managed to check all the boxes. I'm better than you. I'm more important than you. Therefore, I deserve protection.

The police need to be defunded. And while we're at it, you shouldn't have the right to protect yourself. But what I'm doing, I'm doing something so important. I'm a member of Congress. I'm a big deal. So I get to do those things. And even though I'm protected by the Capitol Police, I'm going to defund the police. And I'm going to have my own private security force.

But I'm not going to let you do that, obviously. And Cori Bush, wow. Well, now she is reportedly the subject of a criminal probe being run by the federal Department of Justice related to an alleged misuse of funds for security services. First reported by Punchbowl News based on six sources familiar with the investigation.

This is from townhall.com. The House sergeant at arms reportedly confirmed its cooperation with the Biden Department of Justice in its probe. Quote, The House announced Monday that the sergeant at arms had been subpoenaed and was cooperating with the Justice Department. Punchbowl News scooped that the Justice Department was seeking spending records as part of a probe of a House Democrat.

The spending records they were seeking were in relation to the alleged misspending of security money. As townhall has previously reported, Representative Bush has quite a unique relationship, literally, with her personal bodyguards. Guy Benson actually summarized the situation well in a piece on another security snafu featuring Cori Bush last year. Quote, No, it's not the bodyguard Congresswoman Bush just recently married, which is a real thing that happened. Yes, the queen of defund the police is personally protected by a phalanx of armed security guards, one of whom she fell in love with.

I'd say Mazel tov, but who knows how she and some of her fellow squadsters might feel about that particular phrase. The other bodyguard I'm referring to is a man who is rather special, it seems. Townhall's friends over at the Washington Free Beacon dug up claims from one of Bush's security guards that he can summon tornadoes at will, cause earthquakes with his hate, and conduct blood rituals to bring ruin upon his enemies. He is an intergalactic master of psychic self-defense born 109 trillion years ago. By the way, what do you get somebody for their 109th trillionth birthday? Is it paper, or is it wood?

I forget, and I've been trying to figure that out for quite some time now. I'll probably just go with bourbon. Hey, you're 109 trillion years old, you probably could use a bottle of bourbon.

A good bottle of bourbon, obviously. Those are quite the qualifications, which could in some zany world explain why he was Bush's highest paid private security guard. Oh, stop, like you wouldn't love to have somebody who could summon an earthquake, cause tornadoes at will? Come on, stop it, of course you would. Don't act like you would not want somebody who can do a blood ritual to bring ruin upon his enemies. I want that guy. I'd hire him right now. I have plenty of enemies.

And if I knew that it would just take a simple blood ritual to bring ruin upon them, sign me up. And then, of course, you get the added benefit of him being an intergalactic master of psychic self-defense, born 109 trillion years ago. With age comes wisdom. It's a lot of wisdom.

Based on public records and online accounts, the Free Beacon reported that this character had earned over $137,000, providing security services for Cori Bush from 2020 through the spring of 2023. In addition, the Free Beacon confirmed that Davis is, in fact, a St. Louis, Missouri spiritual guru known as Aha Senpianke, who teaches classes on how to read minds, summon mythical beings, and maintain urban gardens to avoid having to buy food from the Jews. Hi, I'm Adrianna, a politics major at Hillsdale College.

Here's Hillsdale President Dr. Larry Arnn with a Constitution Minute. America's founders recognized an obvious fact of life. Human beings differ in terms of physical attributes and talents.

Because of this, some people will be better at some things than they are at others. But they also recognize that the tall and the short among us, the swift and the slow among us, are still human beings if we are recognizable as human beings. And therefore, we are equal in terms of the rights that pertain to human beings, rights attached to human nature, rights that come from God. The Declaration of Independence names three of the big ones, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Exercising these rights is necessary if we are to be truly free. In our own time, many influential people believe that only government can decide what our rights should be. This is dangerous. Understanding our rights and how the Constitution protects them is vital to our freedom.

To learn more and get a free pocket Constitution, visit ConstitutionMinute.com. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. I don't believe a word of this article either. Alzheimer's can be spread between humans. A pioneering study reveals at least five people have caught the memory-robbing illness, as scientists warn hundreds more may be at risk. Children were given hormones and later developed early-onsent dementia.

Alzheimer's is caused by a toxic amyloid beta protein building up in the brain. And apparently now, it can be spread. Catch it. So I would say this. At least keep away from Joe Biden until we know for sure, okay? I don't believe a word of this story. TSA uses minimum data.

I don't believe this either. TSA uses minimum data to fine-tune its facial recognition system, but experts still worry. The whole facial recognition thing you know is going to be abused. You know that.

I know that too. A TSA official said the agency is currently in the beginning stages of integrating automated facial recognition capability as an enhancement to the credential authentication technology devices that have been deployed several years ago. They're CAT scanners.

CAT scanners that use facial recognition technology by taking real-time pictures of travelers and then comparing those images against their photo IDs. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing, of course, right? France is now on the side of the farmers.

That's right. French protesters and their farmers encircle Paris with tractor barricades vowing a siege over the grievances. The farmers have had it so rough around the world. And you know that the WEF and all the people of the World Economic Forum, they hate farmers because farmers help bring food. And many times the people of the WEF, when they're trying to get you to eat bugs, they don't like the fact that cows toot and cause methane, which they blame on climate change. And also because, well, just livestock in general, agriculture in general, is really bad for climate change. So these countries are now coming out with more and more regulations that are hurting farmers. And these protests are rising up around the world.

Luckily now, more people of France are standing with the farmers, which is good. A monkey is on the loose after escaping from a Scottish wildlife park. Staff at the Highland Wildlife Park have urged the public not to approach the monkey. He's on the loose. He's in Scotland.

He's a Japanese Macau. He found its way out of an exposure at Highland Wildlife Park near Kingessy on Sunday morning. So if you see the monkey, if you're in the area, stay away from the monkey. Give him his space, right?

Monkey needs a little time. A Tampa Bay Times subscriber's deck was on fire. Then a newspaper carrier arrived. I think it's great that people still get the newspaper delivered. Something very nostalgic about that. Well, Pam Smith is the only person on her street who gets the paper delivered. Josh Herring took a different route that day. And it turns out that the guy who was delivering the paper saved her. Isn't that great?

Great news indeed. Yes, the National Security Agency purchased Americans' internet browsing data without warrants, according to Disclose.tv. They do this without a warrant. The Feds, the FBI does the same thing, by the way.

It's the same nonsense. They want to control everything, and they want to have all the data on you. But, you know, that whole pesky Fourth Amendment Constitution, get a warrant thing, ah, paperwork, you know what I mean? Unless you're Jeffrey Epstein, of course, in which case then they don't bother getting a warrant. They just don't bother doing anything until the evidence disappears.

Well, that's what happened. They were in his townhouse in New York, you know, the FBI was. And they had a warrant to search the place, and they opened up his safe, and they saw all this evidence in there.

CDs and DVDs and pictures of kids and everything like that. But they said, well, we don't have a warrant to take any of it. So they just left, and four days later they finally get a warrant, and they went in there, and of course by then it was all gone.

Other than that, the government hates dealing with the process of getting warrants, so it bypasses those requirements by doing things like this. Everybody's internet history is for sale. I mean, everything you do on the web, even if you try to use a site like DuckDuckGo or something like that, which is great. I mean, it goes a long way, but it's still difficult because even your internet provider will sell your data.

Everybody, you're for sale. You're the product. You know, whenever you use these different sites, you are the product, and your data is what they're looking for. So if the government wants to know what you're doing, typically they'd have to go to a judge and present evidence of a crime of some sort, and ask a judge for a warrant to be able to get your internet history, your browsing data. But instead they could just buy it, like everybody else. Now, obviously, if a private third-party company, like a company selling jeans, buys my internet data history because they want to start putting ads in my feed about jeans, whatever.

That's one thing. But I think the spirit of the Constitution is pretty clear that if the government does that, the government has to get a warrant. You're not a private entity. You're not looking to make a profit here.

You're looking to potentially now destroy my life. So in that sense, the bar has to be a little bit higher for the federal government. And the National Security Agency has been accused of buying Americans' internet browsing information without warrants, according to Senator Ron Wyden of Oregon. In a letter to Wyden, NSA Director Paul Nakasone provided newly unclassified documents revealing that the agency buys Americans' data, including information about the websites they visit and the apps they use. Wyden is a privacy and internet freedom advocate who sits on the Senate Intelligence Committee, called on U.S. intelligence officials to end the unlawful use of Americans' personal data without their knowledge and consent. He said, quote, the U.S. government should not be funding and legitimizing a shady industry whose flagrant violations of Americans' privacy are not just unethical but illegal. The senator had blocked the appointment of incoming NSA Director Timothy Howe until the agency responded to his questions about collecting Americans' internet and location data.

Wyden said in a news release that he pushed for nearly three years to publicly release information showing the NSA is purchasing Americans' internet records. Now, I know what you might be thinking. You might be thinking, yeah, Rich, but if you've done nothing wrong, what are you worried about? Well, we know now that you've done something wrong. If you're a Trump voter, for example, if you are MAGA, if you have a Betsy Ross flag, if you shop at Cabela's, if you've ever bought a gun, if you've ever done, or bullets, or any of these things, you might be a domestic violent extremist. If you're a mom at a school board meeting, if you go to church and pray in Latin, you might be a domestic violent extremist. So, for the country's own good, the federal government should know what you're doing online, because you might start an insurrection. One moment you're yelling about your kid's curriculum at school, the next day you're leading an overthrow of the United States of America. You understand this, right?

On Tuesday you're buying a Cabela's hat, but on Wednesday you're overthrowing the government. So, the government obviously needs to know what you're doing online, because you have done something wrong. You've done lots of things wrong.

You happen to be a patriot, and that's just enough. And there are people right now sitting in the Department of Justice who literally think that way. They literally think we can profile. I remember a time when racial profiling was all the rage, stopping it, ending it was. I remember the time when ending racial profiling was all the rage.

How dare you profile people based on their race, their ethnicity, anything like that. For example, in New Jersey it was a big deal, because the New Jersey Turnpike, people travel up and down the Turnpike from various different states, and a lot of times they're running drugs or they're stealing cars. There's a big criminal racket right now going on with auto theft. I know towns in south New Jersey, for example, where they have these car theft rings, and they'll come in at night and they'll look for the cars that are not locked, and they'll jump right on the highway, and then take them up to the ports of Newark, and then they're gone, headed for Africa, Asia, wherever they go. And so, when the whole racial profiling backlash happened, the state police said, well, we're not profiling people based on race, we're profiling people on these other factors.

That was the argument. And ultimately there were all these reforms that were implemented and everything else. But we're back to now profiling, but now it's political profiling. Which in some ways is also racial profiling too, because a lot of the people tend to be white, who the government's targeting here. But there was that story where the FBI was making credit card companies turn over to them all kinds of purchase histories that you might have, if you bought guns and if you bought sporting goods.

For example, if you buy zip ties, you may be trying to tie up cable wire, or you may be looking to overthrow the government. Hard to say. Who can say? Better to just spy on you for the heck of it. Now, you may not have been inside the Capitol building on January the 6th, or maybe you were, maybe you used the restroom, maybe you took a couple pictures or something like that, or maybe you were just in the District of Columbia, or maybe you were in the region, or maybe you knew somebody who was there that day. Well, we should probably spy on you, because you never know. You might be plotting another insurrection. So let's get all your browsing history, your data history, let's see where you're buying things, let's see your shopping history, let's put it all together in a little list so that we can protect America from potential domestic violent extremism, aka MAGA. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.