Absurd Truth: Iowa Debate Recap

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So I have a million different Florida Mains here. Like, for instance, I got to share this one first. Some people got into a fight over an uncut footlong. It's a real story. This is over at The Messenger Had This. And this was sent to me by Florida woman Amber who loves sending me some of the craziest Florida stories.

A man in Florida was charged with battery. He got mad at a Subway sandwich shop. Albert DeBarros ordered a sandwich. This was on Tuesday, but he was upset when he got the sandwich and he realized it had not been sliced in half.

And so he went in the store, lost his mind. He decided the correct way to handle this was to take said sandwich and throw it at the sandwich maker's head. And then he left and then the sandwich maker followed him outside, photographed his license plate.

He was tracked down by police. And he said that he was upset over his sandwich not being cut, but he meant to hit the counter with a sandwich instead of the sandwich maker. But the store surveillance looked I know he's such a liar because the store surveillance showed him taking the sandwich and throwing it at the sandwich maker.

And literally directing it right straight at her head. So he was arrested charged with battery over a sandwich. $1,000 bond he posted.

He's gonna be arraigned on February 1. It's the dumbest thing ever. Do you know what happens if you get a sandwich that's not cut? Cut your sandwich.

I mean, now you got now you got to go to court. You genius. Good grief. It's so stupid. Yeah, you're you just eat it. I mean, it's not difficult. Good grief.

Let's see this. Oh, man. One Florida woman hurled mac and cheese and pickled sausages at a store. One guy got hit by in the face with a pelican.

Oh my gosh, then there was a central Florida man that found a strolling trailer using his Apple AirTag. Shakira had a stalker arrested. I'm gonna have to get to this tomorrow. To me, it seems pretty much settled.

And as I wrote in one of the figures, one of the pieces I'm sorry, I'm pulling this up right now because things kind of had a little hiccup. One of the pieces that I wrote last night I was kind of talking a little bit about the shelf life, particularly of Haley's candidacy because see the you have Iowa and then after you have New Hampshire and South Carolina, you have the North Carolina, she's got a little bit of an extension. Being at South Carolina is her home state and also New Hampshire's, you know, East Coasty, northeast coasty. So she kind of can appeal to that as well.

So it it makes I think it makes to Santa's this job a little harder in terms of longevity. But when I watch this debate, and you guys know where I am, I unlike everyone else in this industry, whatever you want to call it, I actually will go back to the go against my own best interest because I can't stand blowing smoke up your backside. Right? I just I simply cannot. I can't stand it. I tell you where I'm at. Not as a way to tell you what to think just so you know where I'm coming from. I could I honestly don't care what you do. I mean, I don't want to sound mean. But I'm also going to if I see somebody gaslighting you or I'm going to call it out. I don't care who they are.

I'm only in this. As a voter and for voters, because I can also not to sound mean, I'm going to say that a lot today. I hate these people. I mean, maybe hates a strong word. They're not people that I would chill with.

You know what I'm saying? Like these are not people. They're they're politicians and I get real weird.

I have a story of someone who I was friends with who ran for office and it just made it weird with me. Is that ignorant? Shut up. You just you. You just you just you for a split second. You were like, it's kind of bitching. I just saw the expression came.

I was weighing the pros and cons. I just can't help it. I just immediately distrust someone when I just I can't help it. There's something in my American DNA that kicks in. So I'm going to start with that because I'm going to be straight no chaser with you guys.

And I'm on your behalf. I don't care about any of these people. I mean, I've I want to win in twenty twenty four. I voted for Trump twice.

I want to win in twenty twenty four. I prefer to Santa's in the primary. But at the same time, you know, I have disagreements with him and I'm going to talk about that coming up. It's true. Nobody's perfect. I disagree with my husband about how to load the dishwasher.

His way is insane. I'm going to go for it. Not everybody agrees one hundred percent. So I don't like I don't think that you have to in order to support someone or not. But one thing that I don't cannot stand is when people try to retcon history.

I cannot stand that. And we're going to go through some of it. So welcome again. You can listen coast to coast.

Watch the simulcast channel three forty seven direct TV as well. And YouTube Facebook always always really good discussion happening there. So first up that that my my my thirty thousand foot view is that I think it's a really good discussion happening there.

So first up that that my my my thirty thousand foot view is that I think Nikki Haley now I I walked into this debate wanting to Santa's to win it. But it's not a guarantee. And I'm not going to sit here and and expend my own political capital by telling you something that's not true.

I don't love any candidate, politician or anyone in the public eye enough to spend my personal capital on them. I don't care how ignorant it sounds. God's honest truth.

And if everyone else in this industry was being honest with you, they'd say the same thing. But I'm on I'm going to tell you my exact opinion. So I walked into this.

I wanted him to win. But if Nikki Haley is having a good day and she's on, she can be a good debater. It's weird because sometimes she's on and sometimes she's not.

One thing that she does not have is any kind of internal regulator to roll it back because this chick had mad Hillary energy legs. And you kind of heard it in the sound bite that we just played. She's like, you're lying. Is it that you're so desperate? I hate that. That's like pick me girl energy. I cannot stand it. Right. You know, it's true. There was at one point she kept saying it throughout the literal debate.

He's you're demeaning me. And I I that just this was her worst debate. I did not have a personal dislike of her. Going into this, I disliked her policies greatly. But after watching this performance last night, I think that if I'd actually ever met her, I would have a person. I met her one time backstage at an event like for five seconds.

I think if I actually met her, met her and talked to her, I think I dislike her. I'm just saying because I cannot stand when chicks do that. When when someone disagrees with you, you're not being attacked. That's not I can't stand this whole I'm a strong woman and I heals their ammunition.

And also you're demeaning me because he's disagreeing with you. Stop it. How many times is she gonna play that chick card? It was so annoying. I could not handle it. So I immediately I mean, and I if you followed me on social media, that was a huge it was a huge chunk of what I was saying because I could I just I was shocked that she leaned into it so hard because she did this was the worst debate she ever had. She came off as Hillary 2.0 petty and whiny and playing the woman card to Santa seemed confident and amused.

Now I was this can go both ways when I talk about that internal regulator. You don't want to go so hard that you look like a bitch. With women, it's easy to do that. And if you're a dude, you don't want to go so hard that you look like you're just callous and flippant because then that can be projected as a feeling towards the voter.

So you've got to be careful. There was one point and where she actually may pull this up. I just here's there was at one point in this debate where I was shocked. They were talking about their military. They were talking about military and he mentioned his military service. And she rolled her eyes as he mentioned it. This was the audio soundbite 11.

And if you're watching the simulcast, you can see it. He just mentioned it because they were talking about military and foreign policy. And she rolled her eyes. When he mentioned it. Listen, I'm the only one running for president that served in the armed forces. I deployed to Iraq back in 2007 2008.

So I understand what our what our military goes through. That's that's Cain, right? Did she even mouth like wow, like it was something she's so surprised to hear come out of his mouth. I don't know, but I'm just I'm trying to figure out why that was worthy of her rolling her eyes. It just looked D Class A. That's what I'm talking about.

It just very much look D Class A. They there were some I thought the questions were asked pretty straight. There was a lot of focus on foreign policy.

And they were it was it was very good. This was who audio soundbite four. This was a this was a banger as Steve would say, listen, she doesn't articulate how this comes to an end, except she was asked after the last debate by believe Megyn Kelly. And she said, you bring it to an end by bringing Ukraine into NATO. But of course, we're a NATO country. So if you bring Ukraine into NATO, that puts the United States at war. Megyn said that to her.

And then she basically gave a word salad as to how you go from there. So they have sent cash. She supports this one hundred and six billion that they're trying to get through Congress. Where's some of that money going? They've done tens of billions of dollars to pay salaries for Ukrainian government bureaucrats. They've paid pensions for Ukrainian retirees with your tax dollars.

We've got homeless veterans. We have all these problems. This is the U.N. way of thinking that we're somehow globalist and we have unlimited resources to do.

You know, I think here's the problem. You can take the ambassador out of the United Nations, but you can't take the United Nations out of the ambassador. Now, my biggest disagreement with her and she's been on the show and we've talked about it is foreign policy. And we really went back and forth on Ukraine because I don't believe that I mean, Russia can't even take Ukraine. What in the world makes these people think that they're going to launch a huge war on NATO? United States, Britain, I mean, et cetera, et cetera. People know who all the NATO members are.

They already have NATO on their doorstep with the Baltic states. I just it's unbelievable because it's not going to happen. And I think it's a pretext.

Just it's a it's just this old time, old fashioned foreign policy that is not current in today's context. Do you realize that people will try to cancel you on the road? I mean, I hate it. It's cancel culture. You're told to be careful about the primary stuff. I've heard this before. I've heard it from executives. I've heard it from so many people.

You've got to be careful. Have you seen some of the polls? The national polls are coming to a close.

They're getting closer. Coming up, we're going to talk about how you're kind of getting set up for a trap, I think. But if you were really in this to, like, make money and all of this stuff. You'd be doing what some of these other cats are doing.

Going out there, celebrating, basically being like an arm of somebody's campaign as we move our partners before we roll into Florida, man. A Florida based company, Caltech. Caltech's P15 is a must have. This is not a think about it. It's not a oh, maybe this would be nice. It is an absolute must have in your EDC, your every day carry rotation. And the reason why is because it is the lightest, slimmest double stack concealed carry nine millimeter on the market.

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It's time for Dana's quick five. So today in football news, sports ball, Nick Saban retires as Alabama coach after his historic unparalleled career. The Tuscaloosa News has the one of the initial stories. They said he's retiring. It came out last night that they never wanted to hear it.

All my Bama friends are just as depressed as could be. But he won. He's going out on a high note. Seventeen seasons. He won national championships. I mean, golly. He's, you know, 72 years old. And so he's won six national championships when he arrived in 2007. And he's, you know, his career ends with seven total, one with LSU.

Nobody else has won more in the history of college football. So it's a very illustrious career indeed. Mark Zuckerberg shares that he is raising cattle, beer and macadamia nuts on his new newly expanded Hawaiian estate. The CEO said shared his latest passion project. He said that he's I will say this. He's not like I got my issues with Facebook.

Believe me, because they throttle me. But he won't do business with China and he's not going along with the don't eat beef people. So I don't dislike him as much. I'm a little bit chaotic neutral on this. You know what I mean? He's not like a Bill Gates and he's raising counties like I love beef.

I'm eating meat. So I'm cool with that. Fauci admits social distancing wasn't scientific and the Wuhan lab leak wasn't a conspiracy theory. One of the things that came out yesterday, still ongoing today. He finished up his second day of closed door testimony before the House Select subcommittee on the coronavirus pandemic chaired by Brad Winstrup.

And those were some of the highlights. It was a two day, 14 hour transcribed interview. Remember how I told you this is standard operating procedure with this stuff?

Hunter Biden won't do this because then he actually has to go on record. But Fauci said the six feet apart social distancing recommendation that was promoted was not based on data. He said it, quote, just sort of appeared, except no, they started it like what way, way back was like some kind of high school science project. And then they ended up promoting it.

Red State has like the whole origin story of the social distancing. So that's some nonsense right there. We're going to talk about it. Amazon is about to eat the television universe. Prime Video is going to make its tier, its ad tier, the default for its tens of millions of subscribers. I think this is stupid.

They just laid off a bunch of people to they fired a bunch of people on the video side. I think if you are a why the hell do you pay the premium fee to have commercials? If I see commercials, I literally will make a note to never buy your product. I am hateful.

I will never buy your product. If I see it, if it falls off a truck, I'll run over it. I'm I'm driving on the road. I don't know. Just full of just vinegar and you know what today.

In the meantime, can we please now audio send by 22. I've been waiting for this one because we've been talking all about the primary all this stuff. We need to have this little convo about Dr. Jill. Sorry, not Dr. Jill. Jill.

Mrs. Jill Biden. She's defending infant baby Hunter, guys. Sweet little infant baby Hunter.

Listen. How have you been coping personally with the onslaught of accusations against your husband and your family, including and especially Hunter? It's the focus of a House Oversight Committee hearing holding him in contempt, obsessing over him, showing pictures of him during vulnerable moments and his battle with addiction on the floor of the house. This would crush any family. Mika, I think what they are doing to Hunter is cruel.

And I'm really proud of how Hunter has rebuilt his life after addiction. You know, I'm I love my son and it's had it's hurt my grandchildren. And that's what I'm so concerned about, that it's affecting their lives as well. She wasn't worried about her grandkids and having their lives affected when their dad was out there snorting blow off hookers backsides. But it's only because the photos came out in relation to an investigation because he was using money that he probably the burisma money and money that he got paid off from China. Chinese companies, the CCP, for merging out his dad's VP office and presidential ambitions and using that to pay for these things.

And then the fact that it's being reported on because it came up in an investigation that's so damaging to those cats, but not like his actions of actually snorting the blow off the hookers backside, just the fact that it came out in an investigation. You know what? She's the type of mom who's like, I don't care if they drink, just do it in the house. That's her.

You know, it is. I'm the cool mom. That's her. She is so that.

I don't care if you drink, just do it in the house, okay? That's Jill Biden. That's Jill. Poor baby. Why are you like talking about him, Cain? Why are you talking? It's so cruel to talk about baby Hunter.

You're hurting his kids. Just seizing and pouncing. You're seizing and pouncing on him.

Pounce and seize, seize and pounce. What's the matter with you? Oh, I'm trying to get all the silly stuff out of the way first, because we got to talk about some of the other heavy stuff again. I do want to touch on one one other quick cultural thing.

Identity politics. Where did I say this was from? I put it in audio because it rendered me momentarily senseless.

It was so stupid, audibly. It's the choir that was singing all the so that so it's this choir of. I don't know how to how do I how would I put this? What's the best way I could use to describe this? The All Souls? Yeah.

So this group, they it's some kind of Unitarian church. Eye roll. I said it.

I don't feel bad for saying that. I'll say it again louder. But it's a it's a politically D.E.I. It's like D.E.I.

church, essentially. This is what this is. And they decided to do a. I don't how would you describe this?

How would seriously? It's so weird. I just no one asked for this, but everyone experience it for themselves. I had we had to listen to this. So now you guys do, too. It's we got to share the burden, guys. Lift each other's burdens up. Right. That's what it's what this year is all about. Listen, this is horrible.

I'm not. Oh, gosh, this is so bad. It's called identity politics. I already hate.

They're really forced. Rights. Oh, man. I cannot believe you wondered whether or not they're all white people, all white socialists. You're right. Ding, ding, ding.

You don't win anything except the joy of being right. It's I don't even know. I can't be honest. Yeah.

Go ahead. When you put this in slack, I clicked on it yesterday and heard it and thought this was a joke. This was something that a comedy troupe was doing for like the entire almost the entire video until towards the end. I was like, wait a minute. They're serious.

Yeah, this is totally unironic. Wow. And the woman is wearing what looks like a like a towel who's leading it. I don't know what that is.

That Mrs. Robert dress. I don't know what that is. I it is one of the worst things I've ever heard. And they're making the work. They're forcing the words.

The meter so bad. Oh, my gosh, I can't deal. If you thought Hillsong was bad. Wait until you hear these people. Oh, I said that too. Oh, OK. I meant to cleanse your palate, but instead I just ruined it, I'm sure. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast.