Absurd Truth: Dana's Artwork Reprisal

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Oh, let's see here. Um, man, I got a couple.

I got I got I can't I there's one I want to read but I don't know if I have the courage to do it yet. So we'll come back. But let's talk about this Airbnb host.

Shall we? Airbnb host was shocked after finding a Florida man hiding under her bed. What? So, uh, the Airbnb host found a Florida man hiding under the bed in a union unit. I said her but as he was cleaning up after guests stay.

Luis Lopez showed the moment that he spotted the Florida man. The police had to get involved. He didn't press charges. But it's funny. Because it's in on video and he was cleaning this unit and he discovered the dude under the bed with his phone plugged into the charger. And Luis goes, you got to get out from under the bed, bro.

This isn't our Airbnb. I mean, it's on video. He's he's like recording the guy under the bed with his phone charging. And then he put up a second video where police had to deal with the problem because the guy would leave. And so he said that the guests who stayed in the unit had let this guy in and then allowed him to remain there when they had left. Never pressed charges. He said they let him in there and then they left.

And so he stayed there and tried to hide. And so he goes, I did take it up with the renter and we're getting that under control. I thought there was a nice way that he, you know, although he's a dude. Can I just say that this is a dude? He's a he's a larger dude and he's got the luxury of that. That had been a woman. That dude had been pumped full of lead because a woman is not going to sit here and take that. I'm saying you don't know. Like, are you can you give me a can you give me some kind of affirmation that you're not going to rape me? You know what I mean?

Like, so I'm glad that he was able to take care of it. We're going to have to start widening Florida man here to include Florida bear WP TV. Florida bear swipes a $45. It's an expensive Taco Bell order. A $45 Taco Bell order from a porch after an Uber eats delivery. Now this bear walked up to the porch, stole their money, came back for the soda. Not even making this up.

Longwood, Florida. I mean, it's not a bear straight up came up captured on the doorbell camera. He went right up, grabbed the bag in his mouth, then he came back and took the soda. He took all of it. Uber eats reimburse them for the bear.

Man, I I, man, I don't know. I just find that hysterical. This is like the fifth story. And the two months that we had where a bear is eating stuff, drinking somebody's beer doing this.

Man, those bears in Florida are wild. For the for the last hour on break, I was made myself sick high on a Sharpie. Basically, these things were powerful. When I whenever I have a here, whenever I have books come out, and I go through almost a half a box of these things. And I sign I have to sign books at a book event.

I mean, after a while those fumes kitchen you got, but not in a good way. I mean, you're just through. So I was wondering, because you know, I'm so artistic. And I thought, well, I bet I could draw a picture of Kane. I mean, what's the difference between us and Hunter Biden? You know what I mean?

I mean, besides straws and crack? Well, yeah. Well, he's a boy. And he's a male and also on lots on the drugs and growth hookers. Infant baby son. Yeah. He's probably the only old dude that is like they try to act like he's younger than us.

And then, of course, don't forget, he's the president's son merches out the elected office, all those good things. So I drew a picture. I've not shown this to Kane. I was like, Why did I could draw a picture of Kane? Yeah, I was getting excited about it.

Because I feel like I'm at like Six Flags or some sort of theme park, where you pay the person to kind of sketch you, you know, you sit there at the bench. Well, don't get your hopes up. Okay. I'm just saying, you know, although I'm super artistic. Do you believe that?

I don't believe anything. I there's certain things I can do drawing. Well, I could let's just say I can master anything. This is a Renaissance masterpiece. Really, it's a masterpiece.

So I did this. I, in my defense, just to say just to add that perspective. No perspective. Okay, you're in the dark over there.

True. So it was hard to get your visage. Got my what? Your visage. So I drew a picture of you. I think the likeness is amazing. That looks actually not accurate at all. No, it looks just like it looks just like you.

We got for the people watching the simulcast. He's always in like a hoodie of some sort. I can't really do shoulders or arms that well. It's still a Renaissance masterpiece, right? He's got headphones on right. His eyes. I can't draw eyes totally great.

But you know, it's still a Renaissance masterpiece. The facial hair was a little tricky. Yeah. So I just put it all there where the facial hair supposed to go the lower face portion. Right?

Could have been worse. He's got the he's got the the headphones, the his cans that he wears for radio. It's over his hair. He's got the core look at the cord I did. Yeah, I did a cord for those not able to look into detail. I know the attention to do I got the buttons on your shirt.

I got the cord that goes I mean, it looks literally just like you. Hold on. What is that? What are those words at the bottom?

What are those? Read it for the audience that's listening at home brought to you by probiotics. I think that this is probably worth a million dollars. I'd say it's more than that. I mean, I might be a little biased. Yeah. And I think it's I think it's worth a million dollars completely okay with the fact that doesn't look anything like me.

But yeah, no, it does. It looks totally like you. That is your shirt.

I'm okay with one will agree. That's a shirt. That's a shirt.

What? That's your shirt, Kane. That's your outfit.

I don't want to break the news. Those are scribbles on paper. That's not scribbles.

It's Renaissance. That's line artistry of stinky Sharpie on paper. That's what that is. It's an it's your face. I got your nose. Your nose. Is there your eyebrows? Yeah, those aren't exaggerated either.

They're not I can see them. So eyes and eyebrows or anything that includes eyes. I guess you have a problem with? No, I mean, did you want me to draw something with your eyes? I mean, you mean accurate? Huh?

Do you mean do I want you to be more accurate with it? I guess. You know what? Should I use the Christmas card that Greg Abbott sent me? Greg Abbott sent us a Christmas card.

I appreciate the governor for that. Yeah, he says very nice. They sent us a Christmas.

I don't know. I'm awkward. Can you tell like I was? I was raised with y'all. I wasn't raised with them all.

I'm like, and they sent us a Christmas card. I don't have any more paper. Otherwise, I maybe it's something I can do. I mean, if you're comparing it to hunters finished better than anything going back, I would say yours definitely better than Glenn Beck's work right here.

Yeah, get that masterpiece. So how do we get the bidding started is what I'm wondering. I think we should start at a million dollars. I think the starting should be Yeah, at a million. I mean, I'm sure we're gonna get tons right out of the takers like right.

Right at the I didn't even spit on it. million dollars, a million dollars. Who wouldn't want this?

Renaissance masterpiece? Probably if you spit and probably worth a million, maybe. Yeah. I mean, you know what we should do? We should. We should maybe gift it to one of the people that's in the YouTube chat. Ooh, as like, you know, because it's like a million dollars. We're gifting to you.

Right here. Hand drawn on break by me. brain cells were damaged by the Sharpie scent of this image. The scent is still lingering. It Yeah, it's pretty. It's like, what do they put in this?

I don't know. This is wild. Like it's one marker. And it felt we're all like dizzy.

It filled up the whole studio. It's one marker. But I like it a lot.

I think the bidding at a million might be a little much to start a bid. But I'm I'm on board. This is a man. Did you see my attention to detail in the background? Right?

The cross hatch detail in the background. I didn't spit through a straw. That's true. See, the Biden's could easily you know what Democrats could easily prove to me right now, that him getting a million dollars for a painting is due to his I mean, they it's not due to his name or anything else.

They could do that right now. Because this is better than his stuff. This has form and it looks like something. Absolutely. It has meaning because it says cane.

It means cane up at the top clearly a sponsored message as well brought to you by big pro biotic probiotic. Who doesn't sponsor us, but I think secretly they do. Okay. But I mean, this they could Democrat Democrat could give me a million dollars for this right now. And that would take care of any suspicions I have that Democrats defending Hunter Biden's work that it wasn't just because it was they weren't a money laundering thing.

So a million dollars at a starting bid. Now, you know, we could also, again, you know, you could gift it to somebody in in the in the chat. I'm just saying, you know, we could gift it to somebody like a million dollar donation million dollar Christmas gift right here is the Christmas season. I mean, I'm just it's just it is. There's no way I can display this, but I'm gonna set it right here on the other thing.

So there you go right there. That's pure talent. I am actually impressed.

I worked real it took me it took me an hour to shade your upper lip. I didn't steal it. I didn't Biden it from Napoleon Dynamite at all.

I didn't Biden it from that at all. Not at all. But for real, though, like that mean, it's normal to draw pictures for your friends and have them give you millions of dollars for it. Right? Is it though? And yeah.

How it's that's normal. That happens all that you guys deal with that in your friendships, right? With the Biden's? No, I've even played Monopoly with friends. And they haven't they don't even Yeah, I don't play Monopoly with friends. They don't hand over Monopoly. I won't have any.

For stuff like that. That's bandit. We can't play Monopoly in our house. It always ends with tears and threats of litigation. Never. It's never gonna huh. And we play risk and it ends with usually I because I will dominate in risk.

I will dominate I will own souls. Teens. I haven't played risk since I was in my teens. You know what else you haven't played? What? Oh, no.

Warhammer. Okay. And now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. So people will with children live longer says a new study, but only if you have this many kids. Yeah. So the whole dink thing, the dinky dinks, double income, no kids. They are dinks who prefer changing time zones by traveling the world as opposed to changing diapers. Study from University of Michigan suggests that parenting actually can extend your life expectancy to longer. And they said, however, you know, there is kind of a limit. You know, you can't have like a that having like, more undercuts the benefits according to their survey. So they said that if you have what, like two kids that that seems to be a pretty good job. That's a pretty good deal.

Two to three. I think you're all full of it. I don't care. Just do what makes you happy.

Right? As long as you take care of it. You don't go on.

Don't permanently live on welfare. All right. The nation's largest pharmacy chain, CVS, Kroger and Rite Aid, apparently, Washington Post has reported that they could hand prescription records to police and government investigators without a warrant according to a congressional investigation. Information is the new oil. It is.

Think about it. Oh, good grief. Oh, this was in Missouri. It's at Panda. This is what we call Panda Express. A dude is accused of stabbing a Panda Express worker over food quality. Dude, you're at a Panda.

Why are you getting all mad? It was in Richmond Heights, Kane. A dude? Yeah, Panda in Richmond Heights. Yeah, okay, Panda in Richmond Heights.

Yeah, Kane over from St. Louis, in case you're just tuning in. A dude's accused of stabbing this Panda Express employee. He punched another one in the face in Missouri, Richmond Heights. It's about like, what, northwest of St. Louis, downtown St. Louis, over the quality of his food.

The St. Louis County prosecuting attorney's office charged 33-year-old Phillip Person, Mr. Person, with felony assault and weapons charges. And it was about 4 p.m. Wednesday of last week. The guy who works at the restaurant was legit stabbed in the back. He appeared to have been stabbed in the back. He apparently got into an argument with the employees over his food. And then he punched, oh, the chickie, the dude, the other person he punched in the head was a female. And they got him outside. He stabbed the male employee. He was arrested. And they took the knife into evidence. You're at a Panda Express, you know?

Like, what are you upset about? Yeah, so this, this woman was arrested after running down a Montana airport runway. Helena police reported that they arrested a 42-year-old Tennessee woman who was acting erratic. They said in an email that they were called to the airport 630 in the morning Saturday. They had a deal with a woman who was trying to board a plane. She ran down the runway, climbed a fence before police arrival. They did locate her.

No further information was available. Kane adds that she must have eaten all of her gummies before she got to TSA. Are those those pot gummies? Seems logical to me. I mean, does that make you do that? Does it make you act nuts?

Just because you don't like it doesn't make it a conspiracy theory. You know what? Hold on. I got to put my thing in my case because we got to talk about big tech for a moment. I can't I can't.

Can they can they hold up? I'm gonna put my sock on my computer. I can't put it on my my head because it'll mess up my hair. We literally just did this.

We we beg these people to send us stuff. So this I'm not wearing. Don't worry. I'm gonna put my phone in my thing. Do me a favor real quick. I can't call my phone real quick right now. I'm gonna say something.

Hold on. I want to show you guys because I want to do my red because we got to talk about how big tech is censoring the hell out of us right now. So just want to make sure just call my phone real quick. It'll ring at some point because I got to talk about big tech going at us. Why is it not ringing?

I mean, it's supposed to be ringing all my stuff's up. Oh, there it is. Okay, so you're calling me. I'm not taking your call, obviously. So I'm gonna put it in the thing and then you can try.

You can try calling it because then we got to talk about big tech is slamming us so bad right now. I'm putting it in my, my face. Tell people where this pouches from. Oh, yeah, yeah. So we we are it's actually Kane, who is crazy. I was wrapping his whole head in tinfoil. And we're like, you're gonna die. Can you find something that's not gonna hurt you? Right.

And so he found that it's like they're there. It's called Faraday Labs. This thing will not ring. Call my phone again. I haven't turned it all off. I haven't turned it off. I'm doing this because I want to talk smack.

And I don't want them to get me. Let's see. Let's see what it does.

You're gonna do it? Yeah, I'm calling. It's not. Well, it's not ringing. No, it's not ringing at all. This is crazy. It's literally not ringing. Yeah. And then I have I purposely leave my voicemail full because I hate messages.

I hate all of it. Anyway, I'm just gonna keep this in here because yeah. So anyway, so here's what's up. So we got I got another little thing on Instagram. I got a whole bunch of more notices on like a whole handful of notices on Facebook. This comes after YouTube took down two of my videos, because they two of the videos for the Dana show because we had on Dr. Robert Malone, we had on Dr. Tess Laurie, Laurie was only talking about ivermectin as a method to treat symptoms. And she was talking very specifically about how it works to alleviate some of the symptoms that that go along with having the rona and some, you know, barista dropout button pusher at you at ThugTube, YouTube, MooTube, they decided that they they didn't like our video, the video was like this was posted over a year ago.

So they started taking these videos down. And they told me yesterday because I disputed it and they're like, no, sorry. You know, you just didn't they didn't actually tell me what in the video they thought was misinformation. They claimed that I was spreading misinformation, which I think is a is an impugnation of my character. And they said that I was spreading misinformation. And I said, I asked them, can you actually articulate what and they couldn't they wouldn't like, no, it's just we just don't we hate you. They didn't say it like that. But that's basically what it is. They they couldn't actually say a single thing as to why they can put to a single thing in any no anywhere.

They couldn't actually articulate why any of it would be considered in any way. misinformation. And so, so we got that, then we get the notice. And I had this. And this was from I didn't even show me what what this was. They didn't even show me what what this one video was they were just they told me that I'm gonna pull this up.

That and I sent this to Cain and Juan. They showed that they had removed these posts on Facebook. They said it went against our rules, but then they didn't tell me what what post it was what video was or what rules it violated. They just said no, it violates our community standards violation.

That means I'm going to post more of it. Whatever it was. Was it I don't know what it was.

Was it somebody who was mad that I was saying that Palestine is a fictional country? I don't know. Because it is. Fight me.

I don't know. These people are these, these fascists. This is so stupid.

This is absolutes. You know, but these are the same people that are like, No, no, no, if you sit here and glorify Hamas, and you say from the river to the sea, that's okay. If you sit here and scream kill the Jews on college campuses, that's okay. But heaven forbid, you point out that you know, Ivermectin actually can help alleviate symptoms that go along with Rona, or that you point out that you know, Palestine actually isn't a real country. It was completely made up. It's a fictional place. There's no Palestinian people that it's not supported by 2000 years of antiquity. And it was completely fabricated under the ether after by Hadrian after the second Judean uprising, because he quelled that and then he was like, Yeah, I'm going to be a spiteful d bag. So I'm going to name this Syria, Philistine, Philistina after the Philistines who are Greek, and they're all here, like, whatever, like a half a century before Arabs even got into the area.

So just gonna say, I don't know, just history. In fact, so I just feel like, you know, I'm gonna have to wrap all our stuff because these people they're now they're like Coleman, they're like listening to everything now. Okay, can I talk in a smack about it? Because it'll I also don't like it if I talk about stuff. And it shows ads. It shows as you know, I was talking about possum stuff was showing me possum stuff yesterday. Dude, for real, dude. I bet I could put my phone on my sock hat too. I bet it would do the same thing. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.