Absurd Truth: Free Journo Therapy

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Imagine having to fight an alligator for a lawn chair in Florida. That's literally the only sentence that you can say that makes sense only in Florida, nowhere else. An alligator at Everglades Holiday Park in Fort Lauderdale apparently likes to take people's lawn chairs. And there's a video of him taking someone's lawn chair.

Florida Fish and Wildlife say that alligators like, you know, obviously they need external heat sources so they bask in the sun and go up although greedy alligator thought that chair was a great way to do. I mean, I don't think I'm gonna fight him for it. No way. No way. Yeah, I mean, go ahead and have that. Go ahead and take it.

Just have it. A Florida man is charged with stealing a staggering 1300 gallons of Wawa gas. It's the Wawa.

Yeah. Oh my gosh, this is crazy. So this dude, $9,000 is that's looking for $9,000 worth of gas from Wawa locations in Orange County, Florida last year. Yurison Ferez was charged with three counts of grand theft, one count of ischemic defraud on Friday, and he was arrested on an active warrant. Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services announced the arrest and he was also arrested by Orlando police for fuel theft.

August of last year, three separate Wawa locations. He targeted 1300 gallons of fuel stolen, totaling more than $9,000 in value and he's there. He's on video all doing all on all of this stuff. And apparently he's got a couple of other charges.

He's got a couple of other charges against him too. But I mean, of all the things to do that that's not very it's I mean, you can't really do that surreptitiously. You know what I mean? You can't. That's not it's not something that you can just like do without being caught. I don't know some of these people.

Let's see here. Okay, so this guy 78 year old Florida man killed it was shot at his neighbor because the neighbor trimmed his trees over the property line. Oh my gosh. So Edward Drew Zolowski Drew Zolowski Drew Zolowski. Yeah, from De Leon Springs was booked into Volusia County Jail Sunday. Second degree murder. He killed this dude. He killed the 42 year olds. This is a 78 year old you know what you say elderly people aren't innocent. This 78 year old shot and killed this 42 year old came.

Not all old people is. Yeah, okay. Brian Ford was trimming tree limbs along the fence line. And Drew Zolowski confronted him about being on his property. And he told detectives he told Ford he was going to kill him.

And when Ford didn't leave, he killed him. There were two 911 calls that came in paramedics arrived, but they couldn't revive the guy. And Drew Zolowski is being held without bond pending initial court appearance. So he's got a second degree murder charge.

That's like minimum of 16 years 16 and a half years and he could get maximum of life in prison. I don't see how this is someone was like, Well, was it a stand your ground? Doesn't sound like it. It doesn't sound like it was a stand your ground at all. It sound like this guy got mad because this dude was trimming trees.

That's what it sounds like. And a black bear sighting in a tree at Disney World triggers a locate the closure of the Magic Kingdom. Oh look, they're still in the headlines after all Florida Fish and Wildlife said that they successfully captured the adult female bear and they're going to relocate it to a national forest but there was aerial footage they found a bear in a tree.

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Visit Keltyke weapons.com that's K E l t e c weapons.com. Speaking of big whiny babies, can't even believe this is an actual headline but it is you know how anytime anybody anytime a Republican, let me just put it like that anytime a Republican were to say anything hurtful, I guess, to or that hurts the feelings of a journalist or criticizes their work or something like that. You always have other journalists run out and claim that oh, it's sanctity of the press.

The sanctity of the free press. You guys are so mean. Oh, all the time. Like you hear that all the time. I ran across this headline. And I thought it was actually kind of funny until I realized that it was our taxpayer dollars at work.

He's laughing. You know, though, I mean, I I'm first we had the DHS intelligence experts group. That's what we were talking about last hour. And I'm pulling the story up. And then now we have this, this new apparently our tax dollars are being used to help journalists get over being trolled. I know I'm right there with you. It's it's kind of it.

I will have a piece about this coming up later. But this is it. I thought it was funny twitchy use the what's her face? The chick at Washington Post who went after libs a tik tok Taylor the rent. She's like 60 years old. And she says she's like, 19.

I don't know that chick. True story. Everybody's been using that image. So journalists, these are so this was first reported by Daily Caller $5 million to give to journalists to for some emotional support if they're trolled. Mm hmm. No, I'm not making that up. No, I'm not making this up. It is.

It's actually a real thing. I think I tweeted about this last night, too, didn't I? I think I did. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Journalists who are being trolled online can seek help on the taxpayers dime.

That was an unintentional rhyme. Good on them. Whoever's writing those tweets for you, Daily Caller.

Good job. The program. If you go to usa spending.gov kill us now. The program is called expert voices together. What is this about? Well, if you're wondering expert voices together is a government grant database. That is a socio technical system that provides real time support to experts experiencing online harassment. It's to provide journalists and other experts with the means of monitoring and reporting alleged abuse and personalized assistance with digital safety, mental health care specialist specialist, and trauma informed care. And quote, expert voices together. So two expert things, like back to back with the government.

Look at that. It is the National Science Foundation that first allocated almost a million dollars in funding to George Washington University in 2021. And then the project was approved for continuation in 2022 with an additional $5 million in taxpayer funds. It's still ongoing.

It's not going to end till next year. And it provides journalists with mental health counseling, and to address the rapid spread of misinformation that they themselves perpetuate. Wait, what? And this is actually a sentence from this thing.

Ready? Word salad. harassment undermines confidence and pivotal sources of knowledge and reduces expert participation in the information ecosystem. In case you wondered what vomit sounded like it was that sentence. They want to bolster trust and authenticity and communication systems.

I can't even. Now, they you know, for instance, the Taylor Lorenz lady, she's said that remember, she tried to go after libs of tik tok, because libs of tik tok, literally reposted stuff that nutjobs freely posted themselves in a public forum. And when Taylor Lorenz showed up at her house, and then there was backlash. She heard using abusing her reporters position and bullying someone, then she claimed that she was being bullied as a way to dodge accountability, because that's what journalists do. They whenever they're called out on their BS, they claim that they're being bullied. So they don't have to be held accountable to their stand to their bad behavior. That's what this is.

I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've seen people docs and everything else, but they this is done. So that these reporters, that they can that they can they can avoid any kind of culpability or any kind of anything in any any accountability at all. But this is $5 million. Now, I had asked the question, where can we as taxpayers go to seek relief from abuse we receive by journalists? Right? Where's where's ours? Where I want the journalists to pay for us?

Where's that at? Hmm, mental if you need mental health counseling, because someone criticizes your work, you need to you literally need to be involuntarily committed and not be working in public with people. Oh, my gosh, we have the softest society. It's not even soft. It's people who are exploiting this and trying to claim that it's trauma because they they don't want to take accountability for their BS. That's what this is. They don't they don't want to be called to account. That's all this is. And they're exploiting like actual real issues that other people legitimately deal with.

And then you know what that does? It cheapens public sentiment for any future claims of trauma by anybody. It's shameful what these people are doing.

And it's our tax dollars. I mean, they and then they they do interviews with MSNBC where they pat each other on the back. Can you believe that?

Like I literally shut up at someone's house because I didn't like what they tweeted. And can you believe that the hit that I got? Oh, my gosh. Like totally. So they do.

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And now all of the news you would probably miss it's time for Dana's quick five. The market is struggling. Newsweek says that home building is collapsing. I told you this when we had the headline about sofas, which I didn't know about the sofa metric.

Did y'all know that? I didn't know that like the fewer sofas that you that are being purchased, that's like a sign that the housing market's not going well. By the way, sidebar, do you call it a sofa or couch? Is that like a regional difference? Yeah.

Sofa or couch? Think about it. I know it's very important.

Also a this a couple of things. So okay, can we talk about this because Kane is in this camp. They call it a flywright conspiracy theory that John Fetterman has a body double. And they say that it's gone viral.

They said he tweeted a picture in it by him. I mean, somebody else on his staff that can put on pants of Homer Simpson responding to conspiracy theorists who won't stop promoting. The claim that he's been replaced by a body double and they they put Senator Guy Incognito and it has the stash. I think it's just because he's lost weight. I mean, it's still the same dumb face. I mean, just I think he's just lost. He's lost weight. You have to admit that.

I mean, he has but it just I don't know. I don't know if I buy the the whole if I buy that Amazon is adding 250,000 holiday workers and increasing pay. They said that they're hiring all the new workers starting this month because we're getting ready.

I can't believe this already, but we are. We are rolling into the holiday shopping season. The holiday shopping season. I mean, we don't even it's not even Halloween yet. It's not even officially spooky season yet. I mean, what do you expect people to put up their Christmas trees while they're eating turkey, wearing their Halloween costumes?

Like what is going on with you? Retail is so weird. They said that there's they're raising the starting pay for the new full time, part time and seasonal workers to an average of twenty dollars and fifty cents per hour. So they said if they're looking for a short term way to make extra money, you know, there's a role there. That's what the V.P.

said. And Amazon apparently they increase their sales nine percent last season compared to the year before. That's a 70 percent 78 percent increase compared to twenty nineteen.

And that's outpacing all the brick and mortar businesses as well. So very interesting. Let's see. Also, the we're going to talk about this coming up. The DOJ is looking into Elon Musk's past. Wall Street Journal has the piece. They're going all the way. I mean, going back years, years and years with Elon Musk because it's a witch hunt.

But I tell you, it is an absolute witch hunt. And the average price of gas in L.A., do you want to know? It's over six dollars. Like we're getting your seven dollar territory in some places. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They said it skyrocketed to an average of meanwhile, John Fetterman dollars a gallon.

In fact, he traded this out and literally just a little bit ago in six forty nine. Oh, my gosh, it's going to get worse. Can I just I don't know if I can say this.

Let me put this in and slack. Can I say that word that's in the headline? Yeah, if you pronounce it just like it's written, I think so. JAG off. Yeah. OK, because that's don't look at me, guys. It's news. I mean, it's news. And it's what he said. It's what it's what Senator Cargos Schwartz McCrack said. OK, so he's really milking this to level cringe at this point. It's just like we get it. You're a slob.

Gross. And he says that he I guess he thinks he's well, it's not him. You know, it's his staff.

He tweeted, quote, and by he, I mean his staff, quote, If those JAG offs in the House stop trying to shut our government down and fully support Ukraine, then I will save democracy by wearing a suit on the Senate floor next week. Nobody cares. I don't want to do anything that bad. I don't care what you do, man. You could like wear a sumo.

You could wear a sumo towel. I don't care. Nobody was going to. Nobody does that. Nobody.

No. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. But it seems like because he can't. Now that's all he talks about. He's or his staff and him. I guess he's being encouraged to only talk about that now. And he's he's beating it to death. Now it's it's just becoming kind of annoying. And then you know what, then you get stuff like this. I can't.

Susan Collins, who I'm not even a fan of. She's now threatening to do stuff to see. Look what he started. Go ahead. Go ahead.

Play that. I plan to wear a bikini tomorrow to the Senate floor to do away with the dress code to me to basis the institution and be a bingo wing party. Man, it's going to. We have the dumbest, dumbest. We live in the dumbest times. We really do. We we I want aliens to come and just like blow up our planet.

We live in the dumbest of times. Honestly, I watched this movie last night. It was supposed to be a horror movie, but it actually made me feel helpful. It was about I can't remember what it was called. It was some chick. Oh, significant other.

That's what it's called. Some chick and her boyfriend who's a vegetarian. And I was like, that's your first problem.

I'm already scared. Like you're going into the woods with this beta. They were going it was in the they were in the Pacific Northwest. So it was they had the Pacific Northwest like the sticker and they had like all the they were Whole Foods is you know, ideal customers and they probably were like underwear woven of hemp and all this stuff. And, you know, they put probably used deer musk as cologne.

I don't know. And he's like, let's go hiking and then camping in the woods. Now, I love nature, but I'm not going to lie or pretend to be I'm something I'm not. We the people invented the house. Okay. So that we don't have to be homeless. And I just view and if you love to do this, more power to you. I'm just telling you where I am. I don't like pretending to be homeless. We invented the house.

Okay. And the lights in it and the running water. Anyway, so this guy's like, let's go on a romantic and it was cold because they're all bundled up.

And it was in the Pacific Northwest. So it's raining. Like you're going to be miserable, cold and wet. And you're going to be sleeping on the cold hard ground in your little tent with this is a nightmare. And then he they go out to they go to a burger shack before they go up in the mountains.

I'm not going to tell you the whole movie, but I will. So just warning. And he asks for a vegetarian meal at a place that literally said it was the burger shack. And my first thought was, girl, it's already scary. You better run. I mean, him saying that was the audible. It was basically the equivalent of ch ch ch.

You know what that means? So they go up aliens are involved, and somehow he gets that they're going to come and and fill up the earth and the alien likes the girl and he wants her to go onto a planet Earth. away from, you know, the destruction that's coming to earth. And I'm like, is it destruction? Or is it going to help because everything is so stupid.

It can't get much worse. There's my first thought. And as the final scene began to fade to black, the sky was full of these alien pods raining down like red, hateful, vengeful asteroids. And I just thought, Oh, look, it's a better day. That's what I thought I was like, this was supposed to be a scary movie. And I was not scared. I was hopeful. The only time I was scared was when you know, she had to depend on the guy who went to the burger shack and got a vegetarian meal. And I'm like, how are you gonna live in the woods?

So anyway, long story short, uh, everything is dumb. And I eagerly await our alien overlords. I don't know about you. Right, cane, I would look that's gonna be a happy day.

I'll play some Bill Withers. Yeah, right. It's almost embarrassing to take them to our leader at this point. Yeah, I mean, well, which leader? I mean, we got, you know, President Cheesebrain, McDaddy showers, or you know, President Crocs McCargo shorts? I don't know, like, which one? Which, which, where do we go? Or are you going to take them up to little Castro up in Canada? Right? Or are you going to take them to hot for teacher over in France?

Like, where are you going? I'm full of it today. Okay. So all right.

Got through that. Just I, I want to I and I hope that we don't get it because that's the word that he used, right? That's the word that he used. And I'm like trying to shut our government down and fully support Ukraine. No, I want our government to be shut down now. I don't care if he wears a suit or not. Now he's just like, it's just overkill, man. It's just overkill. Okay.