Absurd Truth: Menstruators

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so this Florida Man stole a watch while he was sipping on Smirnoff Ice. He danced out of the store, and then continued the crime spree at Walmart.

Port St. Lucie, CBS 12. The man's behind bars. He stole a watch from a jewelry store. He was drinking Smirnoff Ice Paint Lemonade, and then he was dancing out the store. The suspect, Micah Rice, then went to Walmart, where he stole a 12-pack of Mic Ultra, and then Armor All and Sharpies, according to Port St. Lucie. The police say that after he stole the watch, he chugged the Smirnoff, fled in his vehicle. They identified the vehicle. They found him in the parking lot, stolen watch on his wrist. He was taken to St. Lucie County Jail.

He's being charged with grand theft. What in the world? Also, like, worst taste ever.

Like, the Smirnoff Ice. What? Come on. Oh, my gosh, I don't even know some of these people.

So this couple. Oh, here, let's do this one. I'm going to do the Tampa Free Press. One. So this is a Florida man who cut off his ankle monitor and jumped out of his apartment window during SWAT negotiations. Corey Michael Payton has a criminal history 139 priors. Felonies.

Total of 30 felony convictions. He was arrested Sunday after he cut off his ankle monitor, barricaded himself in an apartment and then jumped out of a window. Sumner County Sheriff's Office responded. It was like three in the morning. And they it was a driver who broke into who broke into the apartments after crashing a car in one of the buildings. 44 year old Corey Michael Payton, they found him there. He was he barricaded himself inside of the apartment that he was burglarizing. They've been negotiating with him for several hours to surrender peacefully before he drove before he drove out of the second story apartment and landed on the ground.

They attempted life saving measures on the ground. Before they flew him to trauma center by helicopter because he'd about damn near killed himself. So he, golly, they found his ankle monitor. He was on parole for burglary and on supervised release.

I guess he wasn't that supervised. So he's, he's after he's released from the hospital. He's going to jail, man to jump out of a second.

Just take that just take the hit at that point, dude. And last but not least, a Florida man came home from a seven month trip to find a squatter in his home. This was in Marion County Sheriff's the Marion County Sheriff's Office has this story coming out of Florida. They said that the homeowner went to New Zealand for seven months. When he came back, there was a squatter in his house.

The two got into a verbal argument. The homeowner fired a shot asking the trespasser to leave. Samoye Brown was arrested on several charges, misdemeanor trespassing, possession of marijuana, felony possession of controlled substance. And the homeowner said that he was there for seven months in New Zealand came back, his house was trashed burglarized. And he was trying to catch the squatter. The homeowner said he slept in a closet. And when he went to sleep, he said that his alarm went off at 8pm. And he found this squatter peeking into the room where he was lying down. And they begin to argue about who owns the house, dude, I'm going to beat you to death. That's I'm going to shoot you or beat you to death. One of the two is going to happen. There's not going to be an argument about this.

There's going to be two hits, you get hit, and then you hit in the floor. That's it. So they did get brown wide was saying that he bought the house and he lived there for a few months.

But no, he's was taken to jail. There you go. Does it seem like every time you turn around or open up your wallet, you're shocked at the changes that have directly impacted your life in just two and a half years. There's something that you can do to protect the value of your hard earned savings and retirement accounts. Contact the folks at American Hartford Gold and talk to them about your options and diversifying your assets.

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That's 866-887-1188 or text Dana to 998-899. And I think that it always breaks my heart to hear so many stories every day of young menstruators who get their period and have never heard about it. The irony of sitting here talking about oh we don't want to shame women for having their periods and then also shaming them by calling them menstruators.

This chick is so unaware. It's a year of like realizing stuff. Me and my friends are just like realizing things. Cain's got to go die for it. In the meantime welcome to the show.

Dana Lash here with you. Your lovable curmudgeon. Pretty rowdy today. No I got these vibes.

Do you got it? I have those vibes. This vibe right here. And I feel like this year is really about like the year of just realizing stuff and everyone around me we're all just like realizing things. Like whoa.

I got the same vibe from that. So she's so this if you're listening to the radio program which you can listen coast to coast you can stream it or you can watch the simulcast on YouTube. Always discussion there.

Facebook channel 347 Direct TV. This is a women's health CEO and her company has their own pads for periods. Sorry guys. I have to live through this so you got to go with it with me.

And they wanted a period positive gender inclusive brand. I'm going to say this one more time. Y'all dudes if you are bleeding down there please see a doctor. Don't buy a pad. Okay. It doesn't mean you suddenly have you know da da da da vagina. That's not what's going down. Okay that means you are injured my friend.

You are injured. So she's she keeps calling them menstruators menstruate while she's simultaneously saying that we shouldn't look at it as like a bad thing. You know what just because there's there's the thing about having dignity. Right. Can we stop pretending that having dignity is a negative.

There are a lot of things that are completely biological natural acts but that doesn't mean you do it all out at the dinner table. You know what I'm saying. Like what in the world. Why did this. Why do you have to are you just we have too much damn free time for people to be so obsessed. Let me find my next cause my next pet cause. Good heavens. Stop it. So she we played audio somebody 11 what is this 10 to so this is her company and she keeps. Oh my gosh.

This is an actual thing. Yeah she continues to me is the result of spending years in the space identifying pain points whether they be around sustainability like I grew up hating pads most pads have enough plastic for like three to five plastic bags right. So very scratchy very comfortable but also wanting as much period positive gender inclusive brand. So OK. We are August wanting a gender inclusive name on the back. It says we're here for everyone who menstruates.

I think especially in this age of transphobia. It really means a lot to us to be proudly a gender inclusive brand. But everything about the product we try to be super thoughtful about from how we design it to be as comfortable as absorbent as possible but also as sustainable as possible.

So so with the water what I'm not sure what's happening here what I get to do a little. Somebody actually had this idea is that well what makes your pad brand different. That's her only thing. We're for everybody. Well couldn't anybody use pads and make them for everybody. If you wanted to play pretend here just just roll with me for a second.

Yeah but we put it on the box. That's your big thing. Uh huh. So you're not like any different. You're not any better. You're just pretending that you are like you're pretending that your product product can actually be used by men and women because again dudes if you're bleeding there seek help.

See a doctor. Stop it. Oh man chicks like this don't help. You know what I mean.

They don't help. Like as women we are fighting this battle against being erased by progressives who want to patriarchally which I'm making up. They want to in a patriarchal manner appropriate the female sex and all these third wavers like this broad are helping them. It's a pad. It's for everybody. I mean this is just.

Can you imagine being on Shark Tank. So here's what makes our product different. So wait you're a pad. Uh huh. So you're like the always or the Tampax pads. You're like those like the things that the wings and the stickies and all that you're like that. Yeah but we're different. How are you different. Are you made the same way.

Uh huh. But how are you different. We're for everybody. What do you mean everybody.

We're inclusive. Well couldn't everybody use the product that is the products that exist already. Yeah but we put it on the box because you think people are so damn stupid that you're going to have a man pretending that he's bleeding from his nether regions in the aisle at the supermarket looking at all the products going well this one says it's for all. Maybe it's penis shaped. I don't know. You know why the aliens haven't revealed themselves to us because this stuff would you imagine you were an alien on a planet and they all go bananas.

Okay and you got the lady aliens that are pretending they are the dude aliens and the dude aliens pretending that they are the lady aliens and the dude aliens that want to alien feed the baby. I mean oh my gosh. Would you really at that moment go this seems like the best.

They seem stable. This is the time I'm going to reveal my existence. Would you choose that point in time. I wouldn't. You've heard me rave about the Keltyte KSG shotgun for a long time and the fact is I cannot say enough good things about it. I mean the KSG is the one that started it all made ordinary shotguns obsolete and still reign supreme.

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It's time for Dana's Quick 5. So there's a fight now in Texas over a plan to charge electric car owners a new registration fee eight times higher than what gas car drivers pay. Interesting. It's the measures expected to bring in 38 million in revenue for the state. Now previously Texas offered a tax credit of up to 2,500 for electric vehicle purchases. But now this measure that's that is being pushed through, they're saying that EV owners can only benefit from federal incentives, 7,500 in credits. They said that this new incentive that it's well, people say it's going to discourage people from buying electric vehicles. And it asks whether Texans pay more. I mean, based on I mean, if they're because you have to think of that, if the state is going to have to spend money to put in the infrastructure for charging and all of that, then why the hell should I pay it as a gas guzzler? I love guzzling gas, right?

I'm just saying, like, why should I pay? Right, Kane? Right? It's like, you know, it's the toll. You got to pay the toll toll if you want.

I can't say the rest of that song, but you know what I mean. All right. Moving on. This after more than 100 years, gray wolves appear in Giant Sequoia National Park. So, yay, gray wolves are back. That's great.

I like them. They're just giant, wild kind of dogs. Don't go pet it. It's not a puppy, not a coyote.

So they said they're cautiously optimistic that they're going to have more packs. So, yay, nature's nature's coming back. So a guy was arrested for a COVID joke that actually happened. I didn't think that this was, like, in the United States, but it was. It was Waylon Bailey. What a name, by the way. I don't know why.

He's got a lot of Y's in his name. But he was arrested for a coronavirus joke that he posted on Facebook. It was in 2020. And they said that his post caused sustained fear. I think that's so dumb. That is the dumbest thing ever.

That's how dumb everything was back then. He posted it in 2020, and they went after him with, like, a terrorism charge and all kinds of stuff. And it was a joke that he posted. And then he said that the ruling, because he was finally cleared, but the fact that he had to go through all of this for that long, he had said, share, share. He says the joke was, Paris Sheriff's Office have issued an order of deputies to come into contact with the infected.

Shoot on sight. And he literally, and he hashtagged it, we need you, Brad Pitt. I mean, it was a joke. And they literally went at him for that. I think all the people who went at him for that should be fired.

They should be publicly ridiculed to the point where they break down and cry. Also, let's see, an airline launches an only adult section for international flights. That's kind of interesting. I don't know. I mean, does it matter? I mean, you're in a giant metal tube.

It's a Turkish Dutch airline. They want to remove the disruption of children's noises. What about the disruption of adults? Because I find adults to be more annoying because they know that they can be annoying. Children don't necessarily know, but adults do.

And then they continue being annoying even though that they can be annoying. Sounds lame. I don't know. We got Riley Gaines coming up next. Stick with us.

I was watching this, I was telling Kane about this. The top story of Daily Mail, I have a love-hate relationship with that horrible fecal storm of an entity. It's like one of the biggest papers in the world. And it's the only publication where you can look like you're reading about current events and then they have all the garbage on the side, you know, all the celebrity gossip on the side. So you get to look like you're really, look, I know I'm reading this thing about what's happening here with trade in South Pacific. Oh, it's crazy.

And really we're looking at the garbage. Like, who slept, Brittany? But the top story on Daily Mail, I woke up, looked at the top story on Daily Mail, and it has to do with some lady at a very expensive condominium thing. I just, I'm going to make some people mad. I can't trust you if you pay a million dollars for a condo. I can't. I'm sorry. If you don't need to live in Manhattan and work in Manhattan and you're paying a million dollars, I just can't. I don't get it.

Like, why? Don't have your house be touching other people for a million dollars. Anyway, so these are like really bougie condos, right? And it's just, you know, complex and it has its own pool. So this lady was there.

I didn't want to play that because it's so, but it's just to further my example of how people are obsessed with this stuff. Top story on Daily Mail. And this video of this woman losing her mind because a family was having a birthday party at the pool has gone viral.

But was that all it was, Dana? Well, I mean, in a normal person's world, it would be. But because we have to share this planet with progressives, all of this other stuff has to get thrown in. Well, she's white and the family that she's mad at is Hispanic. So apparently it's all racist. Well, she said Mexican party at one point. Well, I mean, I've got a lot of Hispanic friends and I have Italian friends and I've got Irish friends and I am part Irish.

I got a lot of different some parts. I'm sorry. Some people have better parties than others.

Sorry. Can I just say it? It's true. It's completely true.

Some of y'all boring parties and some some people's cultures just you have better parties. Sorry. You just do so. But the progressive progressives are like, oh, there's got to be an element of that in there. Now, I watched the video because I hate myself. So I watched the video.

I'm like, oh, my gosh, I can't you know, is it going to come up and be a story? All she said was there were they were having like a Mexican party or something like that. And then she was fighting with the family. The family was fighting with her.

I suspect everyone except the kids involved were drunk. And it's like a viral video and now everybody's talking about it. And then it prompted her. They found out that she's us. I don't actually know what her job is.

It sounds something bougie and dumb from being honest. It's she was an art consultant. Oh, a spatial something in feng shui expert. I don't know.

Apparently, it's all about like if you however you have your furniture in your house makes you happy. I don't know. Anyway, so then this is why I think they were all drunk. The family and her started arguing over Hermes like the fashion label. I don't even know how that's like part of the video.

And we can't even play it because there's an F bomb literally every other millisecond. And she they were arguing over. You didn't even know it. Band of sandals these were. So that's why I don't think the family's entirely innocent either because they were helping to drive it.

But because we live in a garbage society. Well, immediately she's the well, she's a white Karen. So she's immediately.

There you go. Convicted and penalized. The family was arguing with. It sounds like everybody was just they were a bunch of drunk blockheads.

That's what it sounds like. And everybody's been sharing this. And they're all, oh, you've got to give your hot take because are you really participating in the conversation if you are not giving a hot take?

Do you exist if you don't have a hot take to offer? It's the question of the times, is it not? This is the top story. There's cocaine in the White House, but that's the top story. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.