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Absurd Truth: John Wick: Chapter 4

Dana Loesch Show / Dana Loesch
The Truth Network Radio
March 24, 2023 3:33 pm

Absurd Truth: John Wick: Chapter 4

Dana Loesch Show / Dana Loesch

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March 24, 2023 3:33 pm

“John Wick: Chapter 4” Weapons Trainer Taran Butler joins us on the opening day of the highly anticipated film. Meanwhile, Energy Sec. Granholm now says she wants to go after SOME gas stoves.

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It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. This is Channel 12 News with CBS 12 in Florida, Martin County, Florida.

Here's the headline. This is why I'm laughing. Man tells deputies his name is Dog. Barks at deputies. A man who told the sheriff's deputies that his name was in fact Dog. He was apparently pulled over. He was pulled over by the cops, right? And they asked him for his identification. He refused to comply. He said, No, my name's Dog.

And they said Martin County Sheriff's Office said fortunately K-9 Maverick was close by. He determined Peterson's bark. The guy's name, last name was Peterson.

He determined his bark was exaggerated. He was definitely a car thief and not a dog. And then when they, Peterson then told him that his his name was actually Jesus. And then they charged him with grand theft auto and resisting arrest. He was taken to Martin County Jail. What in the world?

Oh, I can't man. So Florida Man was arrested after allegedly threatening to bomb Papa John's while placing an order. Okay, this is Lakeland, Florida. A Lakeland man was accused of calling in a bomb threat to Papa John's Pizza on Wednesday. Polk County Sheriff's had to deal with it. An employee told deputies that a man named Jay was trying to place a delivery order. He argued with her. Then he called back threatening her. And he goes, I can bomb the store. So then the Papa John's worker hung up for the second time. The employee gave deputies Jay's name, phone number and address. They identified him as Johnny Vega, of course.

I don't know. What a name. That's his actual name.

That sounds fake, but it's real. Age 24. They contacted him. He denied knowing anything. He didn't know. He said that's not my number that you just called me on. What? So then they apparently, they tried he, he, they ended up confirming the number.

He was charged with a false report of a bomb tampering with evidence and resisting an officer without violence. What is wrong with people? Like what do you got to argue about with somebody at, you know, I saw this.

What do you got to argue with somebody placing your order at Papa John's? First off, do you see the teeth on this thing, Kane? Oh, my gosh, I feel like this guy's FA and gonna FO. A video shows a Florida man feeding an alligator a sandwich. I just he's in a pink shirt.

His identity is unknown. He's seen patting the alligator on the jowls as it floats away. Then he rips off another piece of sandwich.

Splashes his hands on the water, tries to feed it again. Now Florida Fish and Wildlife say that you can't do this. It's a second degree misdemeanor.

You got 60 days in jail or $500 fine. Because they said when when they're fed, alligators can lose their natural weariness and then start to associate people with food. That's kind of super dangerous.

So you know, there was a lady that, you know, got it. He's and I was looking at this video because it's on Instagram. I'm sorry, but he's in a creek. This is a creek. And that's a creek. He's in a creek and this gator comes up and he's feeding this gator a Sammy. In a creek. It's a creek. He's got his beer and a koozie close by.

Is that a dog and a kennel? My gosh, he's in a creek. I just so they're everywhere.

Gators are everywhere, every body of water. And I just I don't know that just I had I can't deal with watching that video very long because I'm just like you're gonna this guy's gonna get it he's gonna get it. Shreds are Mustang tires fleeing from cops at over 110 miles per hour. Lady driver 59 year old Barbara Ray driving her Ford Mustang. She was fleeing for a traffic stop doing 110 miles per hour. She was arrested by Flicker County Sheriff's Office.

Her tires were shredded. Coming up third hour. And we're going to talk to the weapons trainer behind John Wick's Gun Fu.

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42 regular, wasn't it? Yeah. And so it begins. Challenge into single combat.

If you win, you'll have your freedom. Oh, it's in theaters everywhere today. We've been talking about this.

I think what? Since it was announced that they were, since they were making another one. John Wick in theaters today.

John Wick 4, I'm very excited about it. And welcome back to the program. Dana Lashar. Listen coast to coast in a market near you.

You can also watch the simulcast Facebook, YouTube, DirecTV, Channel 347. Joining me now, I think, is one of the coolest people out there. One of the coolest dudes. He's involved. He's been involved with this whole franchise. And I think he's really helped popularize this phrase that everybody says, Gun Fu. He's like this magical weapons trainer that Hollywood loves and he has this like magical fairytale land in, you know, Simi Valley. It's like this amazing training facility and he's got all kinds of cool stuff that he does. I've never seen anyone shoot as well as Taron Butler.

It is, I said a joke earlier, you could sneeze and he'll like shred 20 targets and like reload and reholster before you're done sneezing. Taron Butler joins us now via Skype in the coolest chair ever. Taron, it is so nice to finally talk with you. Congrats on the John Wick franchise because you've been involved in this. You make it look so good, so easy, so fluid.

So Mecca, congratulations to you. Thank you, Dana. I really appreciate it. Thank you for letting me come on the show. It means a lot. Of course.

Of course. Talk to me about this because you've been, you're the weapons trainer for this franchise. You are the guy who all the stuff that John Wick does that we see him doing with his firearms, all the technique, that is all you. And I was reading that you got involved in this. You knew the guys with 8711 who did a lot of work with the film and that's how this all came to be, right? Yeah, pretty much. Chad Stahelski and J.J. Perry, he's a director now.

He just did Dayshift with Jamie Foxx. They came out and saw my style and wanted me to eat an apple and shoot at the same time. There's this funny video on YouTube of that.

When they saw that, they're like, this is the guy. It was pretty cool. And as we went with each of the movies, we progressed with the styles, which were kind of happening in my three-gun career. So in the first movie, he's doing weekend shotgun loading. In part three, he's doing quad loading, which for three-gun was the fastest thing out there. And for part four, which may be the last movie, we had to go next level with this crazy Genesis mag that's just going to be the most insane action sequence you'll ever see tonight to see the movie with his pit vipers. Training the guns also progressed with the movie. Now for people who don't know, Taron Butler is what they call a Grandmaster Shooter.

It doesn't get any higher than that. You have your Grandmaster chess player. He's a Grandmaster Shooter. How many disciplines? Like five different disciplines, I think?

Seven disciplines in USPSA. I got a Grandmaster card in one year. So no one's ever really done that before. My best friend, Travis Tomasi, I did it with a Glock, did it with a race gun. And it just was fun. It was what I was built to do, born to do.

But as you get older, I didn't want to be the 50-year-old shooter still trying to go through it. And people liked the style of guns I built because they were winning everything. And I started making them for everyone, not just me and my couple friends at Chris Perez. And next thing I know, we start some of the companies and that was whatever. And I just said, you know what, I'll do this myself. I don't want to be told how to build a gun.

I know how to build a gun, not by some corporate clown. So I did my own thing. It took off. And then I was lucky enough to get involved in so many different films even before Wick.

But this was a franchise that took me to the next level, especially when Count's video came out. And he was shredding across the course. And everybody's like, that's not him. It's a stuntman. But then I put out a longer version where it shows him at the end talking like, was that good enough run, Taron?

I don't know. And just, you know, and all that. And just becoming friends with them and all them involved. A711 does the best action films in the world. Chad is the most kickass director, him and James Cameron, who are unbelievable and guys I've got to work with over the years. And I'm very blessed to be part of that world and to be able to, I love movies. I love them even more than shooting. And it drives me nuts when I see a horrible grip, you know, like a cup and saucer.

I got to interrupt you because I read a quote from you. You were talking about Walking Dead and you did not like the way that he was holding that. He's shooting and it's like this big limp, you know, and things like that. And there'll still be mistakes. So editors can mess up a move. They can do all the reloads you want like Tomorrow War that was done with extreme props. They did a thousand reloads. Some editor takes all the reloads out of the opening scene where he fires 10,000 rounds at the freaking aliens with an AR-15 with 30 round mag.

And Gary tours and they were doing reloads everywhere. We want to cut it all out. Like, oh, great. It ruins your suspension of disbelief. Because for anybody who even has like, you know, a freshman understanding of firearms, it takes you out of the film.

Then you're like, wait a minute, he does not have a 5,000 round mag. And that's what they like about Wick is and it's also the director, like, to be honest, pushed me, Chad pushed me because he's such a perfectionist. And he went to competitions like the director of John Wick and I are driving to matches on Sundays. And I'm talking to him like, what was it like when you first met Keanu on the matrix told me all the backstory how he got crushed and they dropped him on the rail car broke all his bones and then we're running matches. No one knows like you're shooting with the director of John Wick right now.

You know, that's back during part two and three. And he went out there to experience he likes it. And he's, he's literally the deadliest director on the planet.

Like I've got to read the title. Nice. Yes. Deadliest director on the planet. That's awesome.

And not me. Not only can you shoot, he could beat the living crap out of anyone out there. And so it's just cool that he wants the details he wants. People saw in John Wick 3 the quad loading.

Yeah. What is he doing? What is that? You know, watch it over and over and over again. Same thing in part two, he does a match saver load. It's a match saver.

They get these. It's all the details, not just firing gun 1000 rounds. Hey, can you load it now for me? Or you know, so then cut the guns loaded again, or they're just showing the mag go in or they'll even show scenes where a watchman really takes the mag out, puts it back in. That's the reload.

Yeah. I love the attention to detail even down to like, you know, you were saying quad loading for those who that's they're loading four shots at once that you're with the shotgun. I think they do that a lot in three gun competitions. It's a hard technique. It is a hard technique to learn. The hardest thing for Keanu to learn was that.

I mean, all it's hard. The old school loading. Yeah. Months and months of training. The quad loading. All of it, you know, he was like, you know, this is just insane. But finally, when he got it, he got it.

Best do the basics better. Yeah. Same thing with Allie Berry training her was so much fun and so wonderful. And it changed her career took her next level as an action star and all that stuff. The WIC franchise takes people kind of like when Tarantino took these old stars and put them over the game their career again.

Yeah. You know, he sees he does that with these actors, they become big, you know, bigger action stars because of it. Talking with Taron Butler, who is the weapons trainer for the John Wick franchise. You may have been asked this before, but you've worked with so many people.

You got to tell me your James Cameron story, because that that's that's pretty cool. I'm going to get to that. But of all the people that you worked with, are there some people I would just think if you're an actor, you probably have I don't know, is there natural talent that some people have, you know, when they come to you? Natural talent that some people have, you know, when they come in and you recognize kind of pretty early on, like this person's going to be easy to train. This person's going to get it. This is going to tell me about that. There's both.

There's some that, you know, it's really rough. Like Michael B. George is a total natural. Like I trained him for Black Panther and without force, total natural.

And he's left eye dominant, which is not what you want, but it's unbelievable. Same thing, Aaron Taylor Johnson. He's in a lot of stuff. He's in bullet train. He might be the next James Bond. He's been coming out for like eight years. He's British. And like, it's funny, these British guys like him, and Sam Worthington from Avatar, like, what the hell? He's doing like 80 draws and crazy reloads and all those videos will maybe come out one day if they let them come out.

But you know, you can't put out stuff unless the studio wants you to. But those guys are really good. Garrett Dillahunt from The Walking Dead from a ton of movies.

Ambulance. He's crazy good. Super good. Wow, that's awesome. So James Cameron, right when you were, this is years ago when you were starting, as I understand it, came up to you out of nowhere, and said, I heard you're this badass pistol shooter, and handed you 10 G's and said, make me you.

Is that correct? It's a totally true story. So bodybuilder friend of mine, I shot competitions with John Richling. He was like from the old school of Arnold bodybuilding. And I had no property, no house there, just a dump, nothing, just land, no building. And he's like, I'm bringing out James Cameron. This is 1997. So I'm like, Yeah, right. So I set up this, my mountain with a bunch of water bottles and nonsense. And it's just, you know, I think it's gonna be a one time thing, meet my favorite director of all time and all that stuff. And he rolls up in two Hummers, and the guy jumps out, a couple other friends of his from Malibu, some other bodybuilder guy, and William Abernathy, who is his, one of his friends who helped write Titanic, he's got this, he's in Titanic, he has the smiley face, the bullet hole, he's like, and the ship sinks, it breaks and pulls the other half down. He's there. And they're all come out, I had this smorgasbord of guns laid out, HK91s, all my cool styrogs, all this cool shit.

Cameron didn't care. He walks up to me and he goes, I heard you're some kind of a raging badass shooter. At the time, I was a Grandmaster pistol shooter only. I wasn't three gun yet.

I was only like three years into it. And I go, Yeah, yeah. He's like, all right. So he pulls out an old combat commander he got from some trainer on Terminator 2. He's got some, you know, cup of saucer. I'm trying to fix his grip. And I'm moving his grip around.

And he goes, he goes, enough. I'm like, Holy shit, you and Cameron's yelling at me. He goes, before I change all this shit, all this stuff, I need to see if you can even shoot. And I was like, man, this is like more pressure than trying to win a nationals, you know?

Yeah. So these targets all lined out. And Jesus Christ came through me and I shot just like unbelievable, just reholstered really fast. He's like, holy, dude, this is crazy. Did you guys see that?

Did you see what he did all these alpha things? And, you know, I got to learn to shoot like that. And it was pretty amazing. So we sat on the bed of his truck. And we're sitting there. And I'm like, isn't it amazing?

Like you have now the number one movie in the world Titanic. He's like, Yeah, it's great. I'm getting nothing. I'm broke. I'm like, what do you mean broke? He's like, my debt worth is like seven mil, which is great. But like, you know, and and as he's talking, his attorney is there with him keep shooting. And as he's talking, he's just realizing, you know, you know what he's thinking, because he went to 20th Century Fox. And they were like, enough with changing all this stuff. The budget is going crazy. You want to change the color of the drapes.

You want to change the deck of the boat. Enough, Jim. Nobody cares. It means before with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Peter Gallagher on CBS. It was a bomb. It's kind of bomb.

It's like, screw you. I do my own money. I make my movie. I'll pay it myself. Forget my back end money. Forget it all. Do it.

Do it. He does it his way. And as he's talking to me, he realizes with his attorney that he never signed anything in that meeting. So but as any rights, he goes, I want to be as good as you every Thursday, I'm coming out till we decide it's over, or whatever. And he writes me a check for 10 grand, big money, I didn't have any money. And the holy crap, he takes off. And like the next Thursday comes back, probably two Thursdays later, he tells me he's training every Thursday. He tells me, guess what I go what he goes, I never signed that stuff. I just he's just got like $400 million.

And it's just rolling in. So then his whole security team comes out, getting them squared away. They're all Marines, making sure he's protected all this fun stuff, training them all the time with proper gear. It was it was a pretty amazing it was the next like, seven years, he's coming out like, hey, we're gonna do we're gonna do Spider Man, we're gonna have it's gonna be starring Tom Cruise, it might be me or Michael Bay directed. I'm like, what ended up being Tony McGuire, but you know, just fun those stories and starting a new show called, you know, was it?

thing with the back of her neck? Oh, yeah. It was fun. It was fun times.

And he's coming back all over the years. And we got to do the training for the last Avatar and, and all that they didn't show any much of the training videos, whatever, because everybody's scared of, you know, videos of shooting, but whenever, you know, I don't care. But it adds so much to the character.

It I mean, it really does. I wish we had more time. Taryn, I would love to have you back anytime you want to come on my friend. You know, we got to come on and talk about the stuff that you're doing.

And we can get into you know, what your EDC and all that kind of stuff. And, and I just love it. I think it's good. It's a bucket list to go out there.

I'll make my way out there and visit you in Simi Valley. Some point. Everybody, see the movie in theaters.

Don't wait for home. It's a theater movie. It's like it's like top.

It's it's an experience. It's considered one of the best action movies ever made top five, not the best. And don't leave after the credits. There's this Easter egg like in a Marvel film. So wait for the end.

So I don't have to scroll when I'm like sitting there in the theater and looking it up. Taryn Butler and you can find him online as well. Taryn tactical and find him on Instagram and Facebook.

He's all over. Taryn, thank you for what you do. Appreciate it. Thank you for making movies accurate, keeping us in the story and making it fun. Thank you, Dana. Of course. Take care.

We'll talk again soon. That it says have toxic chemicals in them. Just so you know, the state that had like the shoot up areas and has needles and feces everywhere is targeting Skittles for being toxic. Everything is toxic there. It's they said the manufacturing distribution of foods containing chemicals that have been linked to health.

So it affects Skittles, ding dongs that have red heart sprinkles and a host of other food items. Why? I mean, people are Oh my gosh, this is so dumb. Just go on. I mean, see it. Oh man, it's just I can't I can't. It is food dies.

It's like the red food diet. I don't know. Amazon's rolled out contactless tech, like palm scanning to 200 locations, including Panera or what people in St. Louis call St. Louis Bread Company. They said that their palm scanning or cashier less checkout technology is in more than 200 establishments. I don't like that. That's weird.

A palm swipe would let you pull up and then like get your reward account, your your history, your order history is all of that. My grandmother, my grandmother's alive. She'd be going, that's of the devil. That rot there's of the devil. If it was in anything distasteful was of the devil. It was just not it was just it's everything is of the devil.

She didn't like. Yeah, that is the devil though. That's straight up with the devil. Alright, so a couple are banned from calling their baby Hades, Hades, after the name of the Greek god of the dead and king of the underworld by French officials. Hades is actually kind of a cool baby name. I got to be real. I mean, as you know, a retired goth. Somewhat it is. That's a great baby name.

I thought the French were like Libertines. Come on, what's going on? Why? Why can't you name your baby Hades? This kid's name would have been Hades Velasquez. That's actually really badass. You if you have that name, you've got to go into MMA. You can't do anything else but MMA or soccer. Right? Hades Velasquez. Oh my gosh, think of the merch opportunities.

I've already got this kid all merged out and totally marketed in my head. Excess amount of natural gas to be emitted relative to the pot that's on there. So it's just it's it's a wasteful use of natural gas. Now I asked this because I mean, we were told that to talk about gas stoves being banned was a right wing conspiracy theory.

Even though they said that they were going to go and ban stoves even though what was it that Nepo baby? What's his face? Trump, Trumka? Trumka?

T-R-U-M-K-A? His kid? He is a Nepo baby. His daddy was head of is head of AFL-CIO.

Richard Trumka. So it's that Nepo baby that's running what is it consumer or whatever something some stupid thing we don't need. And he's trying to tell everybody what you you know, this I we don't we've got other problems, guys. I don't need Uncle Sam peeking his top hat into my kitchen looking at my pot and what type of gas burner I'm using. If I wanted to just set a fire on my counter, and and you know, roast s'mores over that, then I'm going to do it because I can.

Thought this was America. I'm going to do it because I can. But now so they are now saying that the I guess basically the they do want to go after stoves, but only some of them. Is that right?

Am I hearing that correctly? You're gonna get an old wood stove, Kane? Yeah, I'm just gonna go completely the other way. You're gonna go full Laura Ingalls. Doing Little House on the Prairie. Wood stove.

It's all. If you're gonna do a wood stove, get like a bougie one. Oh, yeah. I don't even know if there is one but get one that's all like cool. With the water tank in the back and Yeah, get something bougie. Just saying.

I just hope thing is so goofy. Remember, they did these tests when they were coming to this determination about the stoves. They did this test. On I can't remember what type of stove it was or what, how many burners that it had.

But it was a test where they were looking at, you know, what kind of toxins or whatever it was putting out and it was a sealed room with no ventilation. No hood. No nothing. It's almost like these people don't know how to cook, right? Right. It's like they don't know how to cook. I mean, let's listen to what it seems like.

This is so man. So they are coming to or she's just a right wing conspiracist. I'm gonna go with that. I'm gonna go with that one. She's just a right wing conspiracist. That seems, you know, that works. Let's just do that. So that's Jennifer Granholm.

And I had a couple of other where's the other one that I had? This one right here. Here it is. This is the Denver suburb that's voting to ban new gas stations from being built because of climate change. Denver suburb voted to ban new gas stations from being built because of climate change. It's the that city council of Louisville, Colorado, 30 months north of Denver, 20 minutes east of Boulder, they voted unanimously to approve a city ordinance that would count the number of gas stations and at six. Oh, man, they limited the number of gas stations in the city. Limit the number of now they may increase the cap to seven but only if they get like a Sam's Club or a Costco. Because they have the gas stations is the only exceptions.

If I were saying Costco, I'd be like I'm not going with you ratchety people know. Now they said that any new gas stations have to be built further than 1000 feet away from an existing station. Unless it's a retail center, a newly built station or expansion into existing one.

Here you go. Must include building electric vehicle charging stations gain because batteries do so great in the cold. It's like their preferred environment. It's equal to about 20.

And they have to have equal to about 20% of the total number of gas pumps at the station, but no less than two. I'm Oh, man, guys know how much I hate EVs. Sidebar.

I like tech. But because they're being pushed on me so hard. I am so anti authoritarian that I will be against normal everyday items. Just because I feel like it's everywhere.

Right? Yes. They said that gasoline stations may also be banned. They said that they want to encourage more electric cars. So they want to encourage more electric cars.

They basically the gas stations have to promote EV usage. Shut up. Oh my gosh. So that's I can't.

I'm done. They said they want to be a state that's 100% on renewable energy by 2040. Can I just reiterate that we don't even have enough rare earth elements to have everybody on it. We don't got enough for everybody.

That means some people gonna have to walk or get horse and buggy. The thing that I hate about environmentalists is that they pick the stupidest way to go about their objectives. They sit here and they complain that oil and gas are dirty and pollutee for making up a word. Even though we have without the government developed the cleanest extraction methods before the government decided to get high and mighty and try to force companies into doing what they already were doing so that they could continue to make money. Environmentalists act like oil and gas isn't from the earth. It's dirty.

It comes literally from the ground. And then they got mad with the big pipelines. We don't want another pipeline to safely transmit oil from the from Canada down to, you know, basically the ports in Houston, etc. We don't want that even though you can't even I mean, they covered all of it's not near any aquifer or anything like that. And all this other garbage not near any of that. No, they would rather everything go on rail. You know, which what what was the average? How many derailments?

Are there a month now that we learned after the I would say there's at least like 10 Yeah, well, the month So they wanted everything to go on rail. Because that's more environmentally friendly to transport your fuel using more fuel that you want to ban. To have it, you know, yeah, East Palestine. I mean, it's just kittens and sunshine there, right environmentalists. And they say, Oh, it's so bad. You know, like, it's so ugly, but then they have no problem with strip mining stuff for rare earth elements.

Dangerous, dangerous toxic work. And then we don't even have enough of them anyway, for everybody to be able to take part. We just don't there's just not it's not a replenishing thing like oil and gas people don't understand we create creates more oil, it creates more oil, petroleum it re it regen it recreates golly. It's also kind of why I, I sort of, I don't like you know, yes, I get worried about wildlife with oil spills. But the environmentalists go so there's environmentalists and conservationists.

They're very different things. The environmentalists, it's like never took a geology class. And they see oil somewhere and they're like, this is so bad. It's from literally the earth.

It's from there. And then they'll put up windmills that chop up birds like a giant seal. Slap chop in the sky. They just chop up the hell out all those birds, eagles and everything else. And they're ugly.

They are stupid. Oh, can I just Oh, please indulge me for one moment. I have. So I have like a list of things in my head mentally never put it down. But everybody has things that they just loathe, right? Things that you see and you're like, like high waisted jeans. Things like that.

Any kind of platform flip flop? Oh, I don't get it. There's some other things that I don't like either. Right?

Why are you laughing? Glitter as makeup. Windmills, the turbines. They're not windmills like cute Dutch windmills, right? Those are cute. These are ugly and sharp and huge and horrible. If you drive out to West Texas, you start seeing them up like it's like a, like a alien spacecraft coming up out of the earth. They're ugly.

There's a there's fields of them. So ugly. It just ruins the skyline. And they chop up birds. Slap chop.

Chop. So I just I just have I see I keep seeing the EVs. If you seen if you meet anybody, not everybody.

I have a couple of friends that have EVs. And I swear, they get smug every time they get in the car. They just it's just they don't know what it is.

I think it like bestows upon you a certain Jack wagon quality because they get very smug about their car. It's funny. I don't know. I say that, you know, facetiously, but I don't know, man.

I just I can't. You always feel judge. Have you ever pulled up at a gas at a stoplight? And you're in your gas guzzler? I want less gas mileage. Right?

I want the lowest possible. I want a half a gallon a mile or something. Yeah. I want, you know, a tank the size of a squirrel belly. Toes a Hummer. Anyway, you pull up at the stoplight and I just I swear it feels there's this urge within me. I just want to gun it. Like I just want to, you know, drag race them right at the stoplight. I can't help it. And I have a lot of horsepower. Yeah, I drive a vehicle that basically puts hair on my chest because I can. So I just so I just want to gun it there at the stoplight. I can't help it. Cars should be loud and smell like gas.

And you should live in fear of the door. That's what a car should be. That's a car. That is an automobile. The 70s is right.

The 70s are all about. I want my car to basically try to hit on me and slap me on the ass. That's what I want my car to do. That's what I it has to have that aesthetic. Can we not?

Yeah, we are the I'm old school though. I wanted to have like the stash. Oh, man.

That's true, though. That's what I want. That's the kind of car that I like. I don't I don't.

That's what I want. So anyway, do you feel you feel me? You feel my pain? My first car.

I'm going to move on. You know, my first car was? Well, it was a Buick Skyhawk. And there was a short in it that whenever he turned the wheel left, it went Ooh, and I was listening to the stones one day. Oh, man, what song was it?

Something for the Devil? I can't. I can't remember. But it's a it was the course. Ooh, ooh, and every and I thought there was like a flat ooh, in there every time I turned left, and I realized I was driving all over town, and like weekly honking at everybody. And I didn't know because I was blaring the stone so loud.

Is that Yeah, is the song. I was blaring it. I was listening to the song blessing the stones. And I didn't know that every time I turned left, it went But it was a real flat. And I only noticed it when I was turning.

And there I was like, No, I've never heard that flat tone in the mix before. And I turned it down. And I because people were looking at me. And I just thought, you know, maybe they liked my crabby car.

I don't know. I was 16. No, it was that I was it was apparently my horn was weekly honking at everybody. As I drove around town. And it was like the most amazing cell phone ever.

It was so amazing. Now, after that, I had a Geo Metro, which only went like 65 miles per hour. And I had to basically pray to the Lord every time I got on the highway, and like stab my feet through the floorboard to Flintstone it to get up to where I needed because they were going to knock my little roller skate all over the highway. It wasn't doing 65 unless you're going downhill. Yeah, it was horrible. They're death traps. And I drove one on 270 no less came. Yeah, in Missouri, everybody. Everyone who is in and around Missouri is like, Oh, girl, what? Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Whisper: medium.en / 2023-08-29 23:43:33 / 2023-08-29 23:58:57 / 15

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