Absurd Truth: THE MOTORCADE!!!

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So here's a headline. Let's see if we can get all this in.

47-year-old Yakov Levi was very, very busy on Sunday. In fact, this Florida man in Miami Beach tried to steal a jet ski, got naked, fought with officers and tried to run away. There was a lot of stuff happening in this area on Sunday. So this Florida man, he tried to steal a jet ski. Then he stripped, exposed himself, fought with police officers while naked, and was arrested on multiple charges.

The 47-year-old was arrested on grand theft, aggravated battery, aggravated battery into law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, lewd behavior, resisting an officer without violence, providing a false name after arrest. He, so police responded to the beach for a report of a drunk dude who was trying to steal someone's jet ski. It was from a company. The manager of the company, I guess they run out jet skis, he said he tried to take one from the shoreline but was not successful. He tried to push it out in the ocean. He was stopped by an employee. He then grabbed and broke a paddleboard handle and hit the manager in the back of the head with it. Then he went to the ocean, and then police ordered him to come out multiple times. He gave him the finger, took off his shorts, threw them in the water, and then threw sanded off as far as he could go. And then the whole time he was making lewd gestures while he was exposed, facing the public to include children. Then they brought him to the shoreline. They didn't exactly say how that was done, where he continued to resist arrest and was punched in the face by an officer so he could be brought under control. Four officers eventually carried him off and he was hospitalized before being booked into jail. And that's all the information they have on him. I mean, that's a very busy Sunday. A Miami-Dade truck driver stole $168,000 worth of Red Bull.

Jeez. Man, three separate thefts from a warehouse near Miami International Airport. Alan Moreno, 46 years old. He was supposed to take all the energy drinks from one warehouse to the distribution center in Fort Myers, but didn't happen. They never made it.

I mean, they were worth a lot of money. So it doesn't actually, the arrest report doesn't specify where police think that all the shipments ended up and he was charged with three counts of grand theft. He apparently still in custody. He's still in jail. So didn't have one to have him. A Florida man wielded a machete at a bar after his karaoke request was denied, say deputies.

A Brevard County man pulled out an 18 inch machete. Travis Jordan, 39 faces breach of peace due to disorderly conduct and it occurred at Kennedy's lamppost tavern. It was 2pm. Last Sunday also, he was drunk as a skunk. And he finally did hand over the machete, but he was mad because his request for a karaoke song was denied.

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Tell them. Dana sent you. So the Lorraine, Lorraine, who's a contributor at chapter number, she says every media live stream is watching the same feed of Trump Tower's door. It's true. Every one of them, they're all looking. It's the same shot of the door.

The same shot. This is media obsession. They want this. They they want they really want to inflate their own importance. I think this is going to get dismissed and they're gonna look stupid.

They're gonna look kind of dumb. With all this. I just, I don't. Oh my gosh, it's just such a circus.

It really is. I saw the they had I mean, I'm looking at pictures of the protesters out there. It's literally like 10 to one media to protester or protester to media.

It is there's so many media people out there. I don't know. I don't know. I just I can't.

I have to tell you my friend now. I think it can kind of go a little bit above and beyond on. You know, you got some people who I don't dislike. I don't dislike Marjorie Taylor Greene. I just think can we just chill for a second? Can I play?

I don't dislike her because I think you need people like this and I'm just being real. But okay, I can't believe I wanted it. Can we play 18? I'm not slamming her but I got to read you what my friend Dave Burge said in response to this because it's the funniest thing I've read all day.

So the only reason I'm doing it is to replay this. This is 18. President Trump is joining some of the most incredible people in history being arrested today. Nelson Mandela was arrested, served time in prison. Jesus, Jesus was arrested and murdered by the Roman government.

There have been many people throughout history that have been arrested and persecuted by radical, corrupt governments in its beginning today in New York City. My friend Dave Burge, who is hysterical, he goes, he's Iowa Hawk on Twitter, one of the funniest, he's the funniest person on Twitter. He goes, he says, quote, Well, I've been arrested more times than him, which obviously makes me the Jesus-iest. I don't know how you say that. Jesus-iest. And then he goes, I also have a beard, drink wine and have done some carpentry.

But have you risen? I want to ask him that. I'm totally gonna tweet that. Oh, can we? So I'm just saying, let's everyone chill. Let's chill. Let's everybody chill.

Okay. Let's not. This has been it's Tuesday. It's only Tuesday. Holy Week.

This is true. Oh, I feel like we need some singing monks or something. I don't know. We get but not like sidebar, but not like the 90s with the boots and pants.

You know what I mean? You know how that was like a big thing in the night? Like what happened? Something happened in the 90s with like the college 90s kids. Like all my older cousins were they'd be like, Oh, have you heard and they'd play music and it would be like there was monks in it. I'm like, what is this? Where's this coming from? See, there we go. Ah, because Tiz Holy Week is true. There we go.

So see, something like that, that works. Alright, so while all this is happening, there's some there's some other things that we need to address. Oh, wait, did he get never mind that he's in his motorcade. The media is freaking out.

Trump has finally left the Trump Tower and he's in the Trump motorcade driving to the Trump arraignment. That's the media. They're all freaking out. I just there was my so I follow these.

I don't follow I I I have a some columns on Twitter and I just have media people like media outlets in there. And it is they all lost their minds collectively in it. And they all use the little the sirens. I just I can't. The media is just they're apoplectic right now. They're crazy.

Oh, my gosh, everybody's you. I gotta sorry, I gotta do it. I gotta do it. I just gotta look at it. I gotta look.

It's crazy. Oh, my gosh, he went. He went and someone's really excited because they got the money shot of him leaving the building that person's gonna make a curb for $1,000,000 with that with that video cut. Video cut.

So now we're going to have the aerial. I know, but Dana, there's some importance. We're watching the motorcade. The media wants us to be very fixated on this. I mean, forget about the fact that Finland joined NATO. Forget about the fact that the petrodollar is diminishing, and that, you know, economically, we're under threat.

Shh. No, it's very important for this motorcade right now. I mean, it's motorcade week, apparently motorcade Tuesday.

Alright, so I just you know, I've I can't say get everything I have to just keep keep up the sarcasm and not just come to not just collapse and laughter. So now everyone we're all watching aerial footage of the motorcade. They have streets shut down all kinds of stuff. I saw this tweet of the this couple. They had scheduled they were getting married justice of the peace. And it was right next to the the arraignment right next to the room with the and so they're having a lot of fun.

a very interesting wedding day. So there you go. That Yeah, everybody out there. Someone said there's like 600 people here shooting videos for tick tock.

Oh my gosh. All the influencers out there and there's like maybe I think most everyone listened and they didn't go to have a protest there because they didn't want to get baited because they knew that New York City was trying to bait them into doing something goofy. So it's just the media. They're hoping to catch something. So I don't know you're gonna know who the Fed boys are the hats will be brand new brought to you by Pfizer.

Oh, man. So here in just a minute, we're gonna see because they have all the road shut down. So he's gonna get to the courthouse and like cup like a second. I mean, they're already at the courthouse. So the motorcade is going to pull up and then everyone's going to go. Trump is leaving the Trump motorcade stepping out on the sidewalk wearing shoes. He's going to go into the courtroom building for the Trump arraignment and he's going to touch the door someone will touch the door and open it for him.

He probably is breathing right here. I mean, just up to the minute. Just you know, our media. Meanwhile, the Saudi squeeze Oh, did you guys know that inflation is totally ending but snap spending is doubled because that makes sense. Yeah, the federal government spending has soared 40% between 2019 and 2023. I mean, yeah, we had some spending bills related to the pandemic and yet there were the spending is continuing. The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or snap food stamps.

It's administered by the United States Department of Health and Human Services. It's funded by USDA and you know us taxpayers. It doubled 63 billion in 2019 to 127 billion in 2023. But hey, guys, the economy is great.

There's all the jobs the jobs look at them. The economy is great. There's no inflation. There's no there's no bad economy inflation's ended.

And also from Reuters, the US manufacturing is nearing a three year low casting a shadow over the economy. But hey, guys, it's great. It's all great, though. Yeah, everything's good.

Wonderful. Shh, don't want pay attention to the motorcade. The motorcade is driving through the streets of New York City and soon Trump is going to arrive in the courtroom for the Trump arraignment. But wait, snap spending doubled to 127 and Biden's telling us the inflation is up. Stop talking. It's the Trump motorcade on the way to the Trump courthouse or the courthouse where the Trump arraignment is going to take place.

I'm trying really, really hard here. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right, so what was that four people found dead near a hotel in Cancun? This was on Monday, according to Mexican officials, the latest bout of violence in the popular tourist destination, two people arrested for the possible involvement in the deaths of four people according to the AG of the state of Quintana Roo. By the way, that's where Tulum is, Tulum's in Quintana Roo.

All the deceased from Mexican nationals, they said that it could have been they they suspect that it was narcotics involved. But still, it's not. Good heavens, it just makes people nervous when they're like looking where they're gonna go for summer vacation and all that. Federal judges say that they are not going to hire clerks from intolerant and woke law schools. So a bunch of federal judges have come forward saying they're not going to do this. It's like, for instance, those who were at Yale Law, and they have all these high profile speech, free speech scandals, like the the most recent one in Stanford.

So they said that it's it's a disruption to the process of law, and they're not gonna they're not going to consider it good for them. Apparently, cell phones have altered our brains. BBC has this series where they looked at the first handheld cell phone call made 50 years ago. And they dive into how, for instance, in the US, do you know how many times people check their phone a day on average, adults look at their phone on average 344 times a day, once every four minutes, and they spend on average, three hours a day on their devices. And they say that that it's altered our brain behavior, not just because of the hyper realistic beauty filters and stuff like this on social media, but our attention spans, the way that we read things, the way that our eyes trace screens, everything has been impacted.

It's actually I'll put this in your preppy mobile because it's a very interesting piece. Italy has become has been now it's the first nation to ban chat GPT. Now other countries are also considering it, but they've absolutely done so and a Minnesota man died from rabies.

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That's FastGrowingTrees.com slash Dana. So I saw I tweeted about this last night. Let me pull up my tweet. Because I remarked on this last night. I thought it was so absolutely ridiculous.

That I'm it was it was just wow. So you have, you know, it's March Madness. Well, actually, it's April. So March Madness is it's not March Madness anymore. Yeah, I get a Final Four. So you have Jill Biden, who, you know, anytime anybody, you know, wins championships, etc, etc. You know, they, they always get invited to the White House, right?

I mean, it happened under Trump, who did Trump had a lot of people that he invited up to the White House, I think. So this, it was NCAA basketball championship. Jill Biden was at the championship game.

And LSU won over Iowa. And there was a lot of discussion over two players, in particular. And there was a lot of fighting about it online.

A lot of cons, a lot of consternation about this online. So you had Angel Reese, who, I guess some people were upset because she and Caitlin Clark were trash talking each other on the court. And they were doing the John Cena, like, you can't see me, like, Clark did it. And then Reese responded. And then Reese pointed to her ring finger to be like, my championship rings gonna sit here.

And everybody from the meathead that is Keith Olbermann, everybody jumped in. And they were like slamming Angel Reese for this, which I thought was weird, because trash talk on the court on the track on the field, wherever on the pitch, wherever it is, trash talk is as American as apple pie. I mean, oh, my gosh, if they think that's the worst of it. It is. Look, trash talk is trash talk. And it is part of sports.

And I just don't know why all these people had to get in and jump on Angel Reese for it. Leave this woman alone. Shut up. Now, here's where it gets weird. And here's how Jill Biden comes into it. So Jill Biden wants the champions at LSU and Iowa, she wants both of them to come to the White House.

Normally, it's just the champs, right? Well, she wants both of them to come to the White House. And she gave some remarks yesterday, which I thought were were kind of goofy, because she acted like she was right there fighting for the Equal Rights Amendment and all this other stuff.

This woman didn't do anything. She had said, she's like, I know we're gonna have the champions come to the White House. I hope LSU will come.

And then she goes, you know, I'm gonna tell Joe, I think Iowa should come too, because they played such a good game. They lost. No offense, but they lost. Are we that fragile of a society that we can't stand hurting people's feelings with winning? This is what healthy competition looks like. You know why so many people are messed up today? Because they were given participation trophies. because they were given participation trophies that's why so she says oh well I'm gonna talk to Joe and angel Reese retweeted it and she wrote in caps lock a joke and then had the laughing emojis with it she was the most outstanding player in the final four she's got a lot of attention because remember she the whole thing with her and Caitlin Clark and everybody decides to light up you know angel Reese and they said oh she didn't she lacked grace and victory and she didn't like grace that she could have slept or she didn't good grief people shut up this is trash talking I'm so tired of this and I mean I just I think they need to leave her alone Charles Barkley pretty much jumped on top of Keith Olbermann and beat him to a pulp online it was amazing I can't even repeat what Charles Barkley told Keith Olbermann I can't even repeat it on air I'll get fined he basically told him to shut up in an unflattering way to himself oh yeah and then dressed him down it was it was something else but here's the problem with her do it with with Jill Biden doing this so it kicked off a whole thing of race a whole like debate on race and I mean it is it was I mean it was amazing the way that all these people were like trying to jump on angel Reese and then the way that other individuals were defending angel Reese and then Jill Biden makes it all worse by waiting in and then everyone was saying that Jill Biden was somehow being racist because she had to invite you know the team with you know Kaitlyn Clark as and then she just couldn't have LSU there I mean she just walked right into it which is the I mean these are unenforced errors what did she say she was talking about let me pull this up she was she was talking about yeah it was ERA I think and this and she got and she got slammed I mean this is so she was she was in Denver and that's when she said yeah the LSU is gonna get an invitation to the White House and then yeah the Iowa team is gonna come too and but you know the winning team when you win you get to go to the White House that's the way it is that's the way it is listen to this this is audio soundbite 15 this is how it this is how it came off it seems patronizing and fake listener so congratulations took both teams so I know we'll have the champions come to to the White House we always do so you know we'll have LSU come but you know what I'm gonna tell Joe I think Iowa should come too because they such a good game so right oh no no it's not good sportsmanship that's being a sissy you had a team that lost and a team that won winners get to go to the White House the people who didn't win don't it's not a statement of character they played a great game they had a great season but they lost that is how this works in our reality stop wiping the backside of every single person whose feelings get hurt because of actual reality this is the way it is winners go to the White House can people stop acting like it's a personal smear or an impugnation of someone's character to be like you lost they lost and get over it people who have a problem with that or what's wrong with society you people are screwing up society the people who get upset over losing they played a great game they get upset over losing and they think they should be afforded special accommodations as losers they're they're victims so they have a power as victims you're the turd in the punch bowl of society you are what is wrong with the world stop it thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast if you haven't already make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts