Absurd Truth: Elon vs Substack

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.

It's time for Florida Man. All right, we're gonna start with what is literally called in the URL Scooter Man. A man shoplifted a scooter from Target, or as we sometimes say, Tar-Jay. And then he assembled it literally right outside the store.

Right outside the store. He took his stolen merchandise, assembled it right outside the store. I mean, that's 28 year old transient.

It was a $540 razor brand electric scooter. And he ended up at Flagler County Jail in two misdemeanor counts. He said since he was homeless, he didn't have a way to get around. He needed a ride.

So he lifted one. He was driving until 2018. He has numerous arrests for driving on suspended rubric license. He was in drug court. He's been convicted of third degree felony for cocaine possession, etc.

Sounds like he's got a real issue, obviously, with drugs. It's kind of sad, though, too, in a way, isn't it? It is sad. I mean, he wasn't like buying dope or anything. He, you know, was trying to steal a scooter. Just sad.

That kind of stuff makes me sad. But why did you do it outside the store? Do you think I kind of got the impression that he would have gotten away had he not done that? I think he thought he was going to get away faster.

So that's why he assembled it right outside the store. Okay, this one. Oh, this one hurts me. Mm hmm. A 66 year old Palm Beach woman crashed a Rolls Royce through a backyard, knocked over a $3 million statue, then plowed through a fence and a seawall.

Police said that she told him she has no memory of the accident. Her $400,000 Rolls Royce. Oh my gosh. That hurt me. Oh, I can't believe it. Oh, I can't even look at the pictures.

It hurts my heart. That poor Rolls Royce. Her insurance company is hardest hit.

Oh my gosh. It was a 2021 Rolls Royce dawn. And the woman was a local resident. She wasn't intoxicated. So they're wondering, she was not, they said that they took her to St. Mary's Medical Center for evaluation. They didn't say whether or not she was charged, but everything from the story and from what police, it's, I'm wondering if this was a medical issue. Because she said that, because it took place on a very affluent street just before 6pm. Last Friday, and the apparently the vehicle, I mean, they just she made contact with a curb ran into the statue. The owner wasn't identified $3 million dollar coral art statue, and then went over the seawall. Oh my gosh, thankfully, everything's, everybody's okay.

And I hope she's okay, because it sounds like she had a serious medical issue because they said she wasn't intoxicated at all. Breathe life into your own backyard this spring with FastGrowingTrees.com. From shade trees to fresh fruit to privacy hedge plants, let FastGrowingTrees.com help you plant your dream garden with their expert advice and fast, reliable shipping. FastGrowingTrees.com's plant experts curate thousands of easy to grow plants, shrubs and tree varieties for your unique climate. And they understand that sometimes it's hard to know which plants will do best.

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That's FastGrowingTrees.com slash Dana. There are things that Elon Musk does at Twitter that I like and things that I don't like and I don't I just I just want to bring my hands over or bring just scream. So for instance, I didn't like how apparently he's feuding with Substack. And you guys know our newsletter that for our listeners is on Substack. So apparently, Twitter is restricting any link that has any link from Substack. And you also can't embed Twitter. And I use Twitter as kind of like a news service more than anything. You can't embed tweets, they've restricted the ability to Twitter has to have their tweets embedded into Substack. So if you're just dropping in video, you know, if you're especially if you're treating it as like a news or wire service. And that was apparently in response to which Substack launched this thing called notes that some people are calling on like a micro Twitter or new, I don't know how you could be micro version of Twitter, which I don't see it like that. I'm probably not even going to use it ever. But why do we I mean, I'm just so tired of the just just operate the business and don't I just can't stand it.

But I do like this, that he did. So this started really a couple of days ago, they were, Musk and I guess some of the new developers were looking at the the verified checkmarks. And you know how you would see if you're on social media, particularly if you're on Twitter, and if you see any tweets from a Chinese publication, the publications in China, particularly a couple of them are literally run and planned by the CCP. They're pretty much in the newsroom. And so they have this little gray area in the bio that says state affiliated media.

And it's done with you know, Pravda, it's done with what is it the Beijing, what's the big publications out of Beijing, there's a there are a number of this number of these publications that have that. Well, NPR got they were infuriated, because they had that slap for their account. And they tried changing their account to say that their their biography on their Twitter accounts and they were an independent organization.

NPR says they're going to abstain from tweeting via their flagship account as long as the state affiliated media label remains. Well, you are state affiliated media, you are literally run by the government. You're funded by taxpayers against our will. You're funded by the government. Look, I'm gonna tell you something that if I want to support like NPR, PBS, because it PBS does the masterpiece stuff.

And some of this stuff is pretty good. I'll donate. If I want to watch it that damn bad. I'll donate. I don't mind I will pay for what I want.

I am transactional. I have never listened to NPR day in my life. Ever. I have never listened to it. I don't know anybody that they have on there.

The closest that I came to it ever was SNL back when I was a kid making fun of it with the sweaty ball segment. But they are state affiliated media. So the BBC got that label too.

They lost their minds. We're not state affiliated media. Literally, they're run by the British government. You're state affiliated media. Just because you're not like the CCP doesn't mean that you're not still state affiliated media. If you are funded and run by the government, you're state affiliated media. But do you see how they realize they know that that that oh, no, that that hurts our credibility. You hurt your credibility, really. But I mean, the NPR is absolutely the definition of state affiliated media. Oh, my gosh, they're they have been livid over this.

So they said that they're not gonna they're not gonna tweet out of their thing. And they changed it to say we're an independent news organization. No, you're not. You are not an independent news organization. You don't independently earn money. You don't independently support your own entity financially.

You you're on the teat of the taxpayer. Against our will. We have to fund crap radio. They don't they don't do any of that stuff. They don't they don't operate like stuff on NPR doesn't operate like we do. I mean, we we actually have to like perform and we can't suck.

Otherwise, we don't do well. NPR doesn't matter. Funded by the government doesn't matter.

They can sit here. Remember, NPR was the same entity that told you they didn't think that the Hunter Biden laptop story was of general interest. Remember that? We just don't think that that's a legitimate story. That was NPR that said that. They didn't pursue it because of that. That was the reasoning they gave. They were round. They were roundly mocked for it.

But that's the reason that they gave. That's state funded media. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. OK, so now apparently sleeping too much is linked to two times higher stroke risk, according to I know, according to a study coming from researchers at the University of Galloway, Ireland.

They analyzed data from 5000 people came and those sleeping nine hours a night were twice as likely to have a stroke. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I always thought they were like, get your eight.

If you can go a little more, get that. Isn't that what we were told? So what? Is that what we were told?

What? Scientists are saying getting too much can be harmful. Everything is going to kill you.

Let's just go ahead. They said participants in the survey who slept more than nine hours per night had double the risk of suffering a stroke compared to those who had the standard seven hours. People who also slept fewer than five hours per night were three times more likely to have a stroke. That was observational. They noted the caveat with that that study, meaning it couldn't prove whether too much or too little was making it more likely. So like, seven, eight is the number I guess. There's a window don't sleep too.

Don't sleep fewer than these hours or more than these hours or you'll die. Okay, I this the headline. This Japan's bear meat vending machine proves a surprising success. A bear meat vending machine. Why do they get this and we don't the machine in the northern prefecture of Akita says locally what locally killed wild bear captured by hunters. So they have a very they have fresh bear meat in a vending machine. So wait, they got the Japanese toilets. And they got bear meat vending machines. Seriously? Why does Japan get this stuff? Why did they have this and we don't? What if I wanted to go and get some bear meat? Why? I mean out of a vending machine.

That's what I'm talking about the easy accessibility. So they said that the animal rights campaigners are clueless condemn it. But the meat comes from bears by a local from a local hunting club who are permitted only to go for a number of bears and they do this to make sure that they're managing populations you morons. Moving on down the line. A 78 year old Missouri woman. She she was accused of bank robbery.

Again. So you know, I know this is Pleasant Hill, Missouri cane, you know, most 78 year old women maybe they like knit or play Scrabble or bake some cookies, you know, quilt. Not this one. Not this not this Pleasant Hill woman. She is two years ago at the age of 75. They arrested Bonnie Gooch and Lee summit. This is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, like near where my family I got family up around her and her so lee summit for a different bank robbery.

So I have a cousin. Gooch was charged with stealing and later convicted her since was suspended, she was ordered I have supervised probation that expired in November 2021. So now, she apparently tried to rob a Guido's pizza place. And he was driving into work. She was getting out and he goes, I thought what the heck an old lady said Justin Lewis, the manager. And yeah, I wasn't old lady and thin imperfection. the Bank of the West and Lee's summit her son called authorities stated his mom was offer rocker. She left the house mad saying she was gonna rob a bank and she literally did it.

And she also worn a 95 mask. I just can't. I can't, man.

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That's K e l t e c weapons.com. Secure your world with Caltech. Speaking of sports, I gotta play this clip for you. That's so funny. Charles Barkley was having this conversation he can. Oh, man, he gave this interview where he was talking about why he carries his own soap with him. He every time he travels, he goes with his own bar of soap. And he's one of the funniest people out there. Listen to this.

I was laughing so hard. You know, I travel with my own soap. You knew that didn't you know, I travel with a big bar of soap. I love soap. Why are you afraid that it's not going to be in the hotel?

They started a reason. Yes, they started to logically that you need specific soap because these hotels started being cheap. Those bars ain't big enough. Because I almost had a couple of accidents with the soap at hotels.

In what way? Well, when I was watching a part of my body, I almost had a little incident incident with those lip bars. So I was losing almost lost it. And I was like, Whoa, that was too close for comfort. So now I travel with my own big bars of soap.

That is so hysterical. Gosh, I feel like I mean, I want to be like Shaq come on. Or Charles Barkley.

I want to be like Barkley. Come on. You got you got liquid soap. Come on, Shaq.

You got liquid soap out there. Come on. Charles Barkley is hysterical. He's one of the funniest people. What was the other comment? Like his whole thing when he was they were talking about the juicy sommelier story and he was the one making fun of how they wrote a check. And all this stuff. Charles Barkley is one of the funniest.

He's sort of like a funnier Roy Kent but for basketball in the United States Shaq cracking up at this when they when they cut back from the video of Barkley. Oh my gosh. Yes.

Yes. He Yeah, yeah, I gotta hear this. He was dying. Listen. It's just him dying. That happened on the steam room today. He's crying.

I got so many jokes and I don't want to get lost in bars. So when they laugh, I just like I Oh man, he was crying. He couldn't even talk. Shaq couldn't even talk. He was crying laughing so hard. You know what, though?

Charles Barkley is not wrong. Most most of the places though, they only give you they get you get the little bottles, right? You get the little bottles of stuff.

Have you seen Okay, sorry. Have you been in the hotels where you go into the shower? And instead of you get in? I hate it when they give you the little bars of soap because you got to unwrap the paper. It just is horrible. The little you know, liquid soap is better. But have you been in some of these like, more?

I don't know modern hotels. And it is. It's like a giant community soap. That's like a it's like a giant pump thing that's attached in the wall of the shower.

Have you seen those? No, no, in the bathroom, the hotel but in your room, in a hotel. I like we went in and you know, I just because I went whenever I travel on that. I don't like to, you know, be gone for long and I don't need anything fancy.

I don't want to stay in like a hovel where you know, I have to step over needles and feces, which would be anywhere in San Francisco at this point when I leave, but you know, I just like once a place that I have bad bucks. I just want to you know, anyway, you know, I walked in and I was like, Oh, this is a really nice room. It was a new hotel.

I can't remember where it was. And the first time I saw this was in Austin at a hotel in Austin, Texas. And they had I went in and when I when I went into shower, I was like, Oh, my what? Because they had the shampoo and they had the soap, and then the shampoo and then the conditioner.

It was like a community size, but it was attached in like this, like this modern dispenser. Like what you would see in public, like in a public bathroom with just soap. And I'm looking at it's like this is community soap.

That's my first thought. I was like this is luckily I travel always with travel, shower gel. Always. After and I had started just a little bit before then because they hated the little soaps. But I started especially for that I'm like religious about it.

Isn't it nasty still? Because I don't know what it is. It's the thought that that liquid what that liquid in there has seen Kane. I don't know.

I just right. I just don't know. It's weird. I just like the idea of new soap or new you know, the little bottles of shampoo they give you as long as it's a new bottle or a new thing of soap. I don't care. Let's use the community soap. Let's get this out.

Never come close to losing the soap. You're also not Charles Barkley, though. He's a large man. It's true. But let's be real.

Let's be real. Anyway, I just can't am I being like to stay? I just hate the community soap thing. And the community I don't use this shampoo conditioner.

I never use hotel shampoo conditioner. But the soap there like when it's a community pump like that. This is like no, no.

And it and especially if it's not even filled all the way then you're then that's like a statement of how many people have been right where you are using that soap and washing them. Oh, it's so bad. I can't All right, we got to move. I'm grossed out now. Yes, this is why I get all hung up on travel. I get weirder as I get older. older I get the weirder I get. I have no idea what it's gonna be like when I'm 80. When I'm 60. I have no idea what it's gonna be like when I'm 50. I have no idea what it's gonna be like. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.