Absurd Truth: Yum Yum

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so where's my hand? Okay, I have a story here from The Villages.

Oh, my gosh. All right, so The Villages, it's actually there. They have like a whole, I didn't know that they had like a whole newspaper too. Did you know that?

Yeah, they totally do. It's like Villages news. That's literally it. So a suspect, a Florida man snatched a woman's dog and slashed her tires at her apartment complex in Lady Lake. Travis Lee Kaley, 33, of Lady Lake went to the woman's residence, began banging on her door at about three in the morning on Saturday at the quarters apartments according to the Lady Lake Police Department. When she opened her door, that is when apparently, and my computer just shut off, that is when apparently the individual grabbed her dog and then ran towards the parking lot, took out a knife, slashed the passenger side, front tire and rear tire of her SUV.

And I can't say that, what he shouted at her. And then he drove away in his green Ford Ranger pickup. So he was caught by police. When they arrived at his home, they immediately spotted his truck.

They noticed the front grill was warm to the touch. He did not answer the door. When he came to the door, he declined to speak with police.

He was arrested on charges of burglary and criminal mischief. But the dog though, where's the dog? That's what we're, that's what we want to know. Snatched her dog and left. Where's the dog? I don't care about nothing else but the dog. Come on. How are you gonna be writing this story? Not even gonna give us an update about the dog.

Good heavens. A Florida man was found with meth inside of his M&M Minis container. Escambia County Sheriff's Office said a Pensacola man is behind bars. This was Tuesday this week after he was caught with meth and other drug paraphernalia inside his M&M Minis container in a Winn-Dixie parking lot. Edward Busby was booked into Escambia County jail at about 2.30 in the morning on Tuesday.

Well, damn, everything was popping off 2.30 in the morning. He was booked on no bond. He's charged with possession of a controlled substance without a prescription, possession of drug paraphernalia and failure to appear according to police. According to his arrest report, another Green Ford Ranger. What the heck?

Two, these are two separate people in two separate parts of Florida. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Yeah. They saw this dude with his green truck parked next to a dumpster in the parking lot of the Winn-Dixie. Deputy asked Busby and a passenger what they were doing and they, they go, we're eating sandwiches. That's all we're doing. We're eating, we're eating, turn up my computer, turn up my thing. They said, we're eating sandwiches, which is at 2.30 in the morning when you're behind the dumpster. So the deputy asked, okay, so you guys are eating sandwiches?

And he said, yeah, we're going to go home after this. So they, he gave him his driver's license and yeah, we're just innocent men. We're just innocent men. Oh my gosh.

Here, I'm gonna do it again. Just normal men. I love this.

What do you mean? What do you mean normal men? We're just innocent men. They're eating sandwiches before they went home. So they gave him the driver's license upon request. He had an active warrant out. He was placed under arrest, put in the patrol car. So then Busby told the deputy that he had a rolled up piece of plastic in his sock. It tested positive for meth. And then another deputy came to the scene with a K-9, searched the car. And that's when they found more drug paraphernalia inside.

So he goes to court on May 19. Eating sandwiches. We're just here, officer, not doing anything illegal with meth. We are eating sandwiches. Legal sandwiches. Just having legal sandwiches. Two dudes having sandwiches behind a dumpster of a Winn-Dixie. I mean, what is wrong at 2.30 in the morning? That is not, yeah, it's totally normal, not illegal. Really?

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They don't want to talk about a border. Mr. Swalwell is down there. Obviously, everybody knows he's made some comments. He's got a checkered past. He's alleged relationships. The checkered past?

I would ask. It's my turn. The checkered past? No, no, no. You don't get to say that.

That's not true. I asked the gentleman's words to be taken down. Mr. Chairman, we ask that the gentleman's words be taken down as guessing a slur in another member. I am here. The upkeep words of the gentleman.

He's getting some orders and some gentleman to be taken down as guessing his turn in November. Yum, yum. Yeah, that was too good. That's too good. That's too good. That was all hell broke loose yesterday in the house.

It was the fang fang reference. Now it's going to be yum yum forever. Welcome back to the program.

Dana Lash here with you top of our second hour. I thought you would like that. That was pretty good. You got that too. If you get the newsletter, I sent that out to you. I sent that.

How did I put it? Oh, no. Representative Troy Nels calls out Eric Swalwell for having an affair with yum yum. And Swalwell gets mad and cusses, which he totally did. Ah, gosh, you just love to see it. Welcome again back to the program.

Your amused curmudgeon Dana Lash here with you. You can listen coast to coast. You can watch the simulcast of the radio show. You can stream it. You can watch the simulcast of the radio program, YouTube, Facebook, Channel 347, DirecTV as well.

Sign up for that newsletter over at Substack chapter inverse. I mean, fang fang sounds not as cool as yum yum. By the way, I'm glad that you didn't play that Bieber song because I thought better of it after because the guys were like, we're gonna play the Bieber song that Bieber that yum yum song by Bieber. Like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna just I'm gonna mark myself on air. So it's gonna happen. Can't do it. No, no. At first I was like, no. Okay, no. And then I just I thought better of it.

You're welcome. Because then I'd have to play like a whole bunch of Slayer or something just to, you know, cleanse our ears. Anyway, so he was upset. Swalwell said don't say that blank to me. And tempers flared. It's a good way to put it.

Over his suspected ties to the Chinese spy. He goes, you do not get to say that. And I love by the way, it was so the way that they did it, because Nels was he was he just kept going. He knew he was trolling. He knew it.

Republicans brought a cave troll today. He I was reading this the the transcript and he's I can just hear the passive aggressiveness. It's just, he's like, Yeah, I apologize that you know, you had to be here for this hearing on the border. You know, Swalwell's down there. Obviously, everyone knows he's made some comments.

He's kind of checkered past and swallow. The guy threatened to nuke everyone and farted on TV. I mean, that's not a joke. He actually did that. That was not audio added. That was a real video.

I don't know if you know that that was legit real. And then he's like, Excuse me, what? Chalker passed and then you just he just gave Nels the you know, Nels goes, you know, it's my time alleged affairs relationship with Yum Yum. And then he kept going. He goes, Well, you he had alleged relationships with Yum Yum, and now he's angry. You couldn't hear him say that because Swallow was shouting.

He was so mad. Oh, my gosh. Now, of course, you know, Nels is referring to the honey trap, known as Christine Fang Fang Fang Fang. Can I? I've had a lot of I've had two cups of coffee today, actually a cup and a half cup and a third. So I'm a little wound tight. Can I just say something? If you're if you're going to call someone a honey trap. They should be attractive. Yes.

Okay. Like don't be like a purported honey trap. And then I see a picture and I'm like, Golly, the hell?

What in drunk goggles is going on here? Right? Like if you're gonna be a honey trap, you should be I think of like Jessica Rabbit style. Not Fang Fang. I just it's not or Yum Yum. Gosh, it's gonna be forever forever.

Oh, the next time if I rarely go to DC, but if I'm ever in DC again, and I see Swallow, I'm gonna go a Yum Yum just to see what happens. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So this is I have this under lol New York Post ESPN fires a Major League Baseball reporter Marley Rivera for calling a fellow reporter.

A fun See you next Tuesday. She was fired. She uttered the words it was an it was a on a hot mic.

So come on. She uttered the words on a hot mic towards a fellow female reporter over an Aaron Judge interview. She's been a dugout reporter on home derby run.

And she you know, she she brought you know, she was valued for her different perspective. It occurred Tuesday at Yankee Stadium. I gotta say you know what? No, no. It was a hot mic. It was an accident. She was rebuffed though. She said she she cuz that's what she had said too. And they said, oh, that's you know, that's not that's unfair. blah blah blah.

First off, I think they're being really harsh on her because usually where there's smoke, there's fire. I'm just gonna say it's true. Yeah, I said it. So also Jerry Springer kicked the bucket. 79 years old. Yeah.

Anyway, moving on. What the former mayor and and Santa lives up at the North Pole. Let's see the we told you about the house debt ceiling vote. You know what?

It's Cain. My mother said I had two rules in my family. If you don't have anything nice, go sit by grandma.

If you don't have anything nice to say, go sit by grandma cuz that's the only one who tolerated and enjoyed it and secondly, never speak ill of the dead and I am unable to do either of these things. So we're moving on. So I'm being a good person. Okay. Okay.

Alright. So also this uh this is kinda funny. The uh Tucker Carlson was photographed in uh Florida. I wanna know what kinda souped up golf cart that is.

Oh my gosh. Uh but he was talking to the media. He said that uh he's enjoying his retirements going well and that he's having dinner with his wife for the first time in seven years.

He says appetizers plus entree as he drove his chopped up uh golf cart away. That was kinda funny. We have a lot more on the way folks. We gotta talk about 2024.

Stick with us. I also think of the Emmy award winning TV shows like Squid Games which I will confess Doug and I binge watched at home over a series of weeks. Okay, that's like regular watching. And I think of the actress Yoon Yajong who I met in Seoul last year when I convened groundbreaking South Korean women. She is the first Korean to win an academy award. So they had.

These are examples of the cultural ties and the intertwined history between our nation. Is that the only thing she can mention of Squid Games? I mean Pachinko was a huge movie.

You can't even acknowledge that. Train to Busan which was one of the scariest like horror films I think of the past like 10 years. That thing was terrifying. It was about zombies. I love zombies. It was a zombie.

I mean there's like so many good South Korean television series and uh dramas and and you know filmed everything. She only knew that? That's the only one she knew? I mean it's not bad but that's the only one that she knew? They had a state dinner with with South Korean leaders last night and they had you know people who are notable in the South Korean community in the United States and then you know other lawmakers etc that were that they had to attend this but I just thought of all that that's not no no do not put her up. Do not put her up there to speak.

It's going to be bad. That's really that's the only thing that she could I know that not everyone okay so I I don't know if it's a dirty secret. I don't think it is but like over lockdown because I got really into crochet cars and anime. I've seen all the anime pretty much all of it.

I'm I'm going through Monster right now. There's not anything I haven't seen. Oh that's not true. Oh pretty sure just because I don't like some of the stuff that you like doesn't mean that I. That doesn't do that and by the way I celebrate when we have different tastes when it comes to anime but I also celebrate when we have the same taste but do you know there's millions and millions of anime you have not seen at all uh you have not no not all of it but I've seen a lot of it I've seen a lot of it I mean you'll spend forever on crunchyroll there's like just on that alone there's so much but I mean there's there's there's so much there's so many k dramas there's so many like good South Korean films and uh I mean you know that's like it just seems like she could have done a little bit more and talked and spoken a little bit more like you know the director of pashinko or you know some of the other major gains that South Korean directors and and filmmakers and writers and artists have you know just in the past 10 years alone their art scene has absolutely exploded their film scene I mean is I mean they they're making some of the best stories I love k dramas I love k dramas in fact I have to keep my Netflix separate from the rest of my family because it thinks that I am a young South Korean girl I'm not even lying like it's and so now I'm like I want to go to South Korea so bad but she'll be putting the vpn in oh my gosh right I know watching it as though you're from Korea well what am I my oldest son like went over and was looking at my Netflix and he's like what do you watch he's like what in the world he's like what do you watch even I'm like anyway you know why because it's a it's actually the care I like the characters it's wholesome not everything is skanky because they actually have like you know some a little bit a little bit more morality with how they do some of their programming but you know it's a good escape that's why a lot of people like you know it's why I think one of the reasons the enemy's exploded for the same you know kind of wholesome it really is yeah all right good is good and evil is evil all right we we could talk more about this but today in stupidity oh man I had so much to choose from but we'll go with this one one of the kids the white house threw Biden for a loop here listen to this the last country I've traveled I'm thinking what's the last one I was in what was it I've been to 89 met with 89 heads of state you know the last country you were so uh the last where was the last place I was it's hard to keep track um the kids like I was I mean yeah you're right Ireland that's where it was how do you not remember going to Ireland it was just what an insult to the Irish they're like oh I thought he'd remember us oh my goodness thanks for tuning into today's edition of dana lashes absurd truth podcast if you haven't already make sure to hit that subscribe button on apple podcast spotify or wherever you get your podcasts