Absurd Truth: The Week of Yummy

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So first up, this is from Charlotte Observer, a motorist who was fleeing a deputy drove his pickup into a Florida River and floated away, cops say. He led police on a high speed chase, drove a truck into a Florida River and as pursuers watched from the shore, he drifted away, according to the Dixie County Sheriff's Office. Now, it proved that while the maneuver ended the chase, but pickups don't float, the vehicle drifted downstream, got stuck on a branch and then began to sink.

And this was just on the 25th. And the deputy was pursuing a man wanting a connection with a structure fire. So they ended up they I mean, the guy just wild they did the investigators didn't say how far the truck floated. But it vanished below the surface only the tailgate and corner the roof was visible. The driver jumped out made his way to shore and he was probably arrested. There you go. So that didn't work for him. He's not I can't believe that he actually thought that that was going to work.

But okay. A Florida man. He had his rental car impounded and then he decided to steal it back. Florida Keys deputies arrested two men and used a breaking into an impound lot to steal back a car that they rented that was towed away from a Key West business. The two individuals now these are Boston men trying to make shenanigans in Florida. They were released from Monroe County Jail in a post 40,000 bond for each of them.

Neither could be reached for comments. Dana lash here with us. I have to tell you, you know, we were having this you know, we were we mentioned yesterday how many videos is that Tucker Carlson thing got? How many is that got now? Yeah, like he had something like that is something to that effect. Yeah, he had like 70 million, I think views on his video.

74 sorry, 74.1 million. And I was reading this piece about concerns with some of the emails or texts or whatever that he may or may not have sent. And it's so bad. He's just so my gosh, he like one of the accusations is that he described a woman as the yummy.

Dude, called a woman. Yummy, allegedly. So the reason you might be wondering what this has to do with my selection of the Billy squire track to which we entered this radio segment was, you know, because some of the people who were talking about it happened to be over at a network that rhymes with CNN. Oh, wait, that is the network.

It's Friday. They had a guy who I don't know how how to describe this for those of you with very pure constitutions. I mean, they had a guy's base that who I mean, okay, the he became a verb Jeffrey Toobin he pulled his pork on a zoom call.

I don't know how else to say it. He had self time self care time on a zoom call. And he was like caught on. I mean, he forgot he was on I don't believe he forgot he was on a zoom call on a zoom call that happened CNN. I had a friend who was a contributor at CNN who was benched because she talked about it on Twitter. She made mention of it. She condemned it.

She got benched. That was that's okay. And that's redeemable Tucker Carlson maybe or maybe not called someone yummy. Oh, yummy. For the love that's not offensive. How is that offensive?

I mean, that's how in the world is that offensive? Guys, Tucker Carlson referred to a woman as yummy. I mean, that's the most vanilla wafer thing I could ever think of.

I don't know what most would women be that that's not offensive. When I think of things that are yummy, you know what I think of? I think of Oreo cookies. I think of Sour Patch Kids.

Those are those are actually yummy delicious. Mm hmm. I'm just saying. I don't know just as that's not that's not offensive. That's not offensive. Toobin it on a zoom call and then having CNN bring you back out like nothing happened. That's offensive. Right? Getting benched because you made note that another talent at CNN was Toobin it on a zoom call. It's kind of it's kind of offensive. You know what I'm saying? Snort crack off hookers and then showing up at the White House Easter egg roll. Like nothing happened.

Praise Jesus, nothing happened. I mean, that's offensive. You know what I'm saying?

There's never been any, like redemptive moment for the for the for American voters. That's, you know, it's offensive. You know, I'm saying that's offensive. So I love the little Neo Puritan behavior. That the left suddenly adopts when they feel like they found a scrap of moral high ground. It's really funny.

It's like watching toddlers discover skills, right? Yummy. Good grief. Yummy. He described a woman as yummy. Now here's Jeffrey Toobin. Jeff got pants on. The erection. Oh, my gosh, like what in the world? I mean, yummy.

Close but no cigar Bill Clinton, you know, I mean, for the love never met him. Never gonna tire saying it. What do you mean normal men? Just innocent men. It's my favorite ever.

My favorite video ever. So I just had a I had to mention that because I saw I saw some of these people. You know, they they're all abort them babies out in the streets and everything else. And then they come they go back on television and act like they're just so clever. Oh, my gosh, can you believe? He had described a woman as yummy. Oh, my gosh. By the way, what a week for the word yum.

Right? Because we got representative trunnels who was yum, yum, which is one of my also favorite soundbites ever. And he just like kept going. You know, when he was out there with yum, yum, and then Eric Swalwell gets mad. And then he says it again.

He's like, like I said, he was out there with yum, yum. Oh, my gosh. Oh, we run it back. Second favor back.

Can we please run it back? Mr. Rodriguez, I apologize that you had to. You're here for a hearing on the border.

They don't want to talk about a border. Mr. Swalwell is down there. Obviously, everybody knows he's made some comments. He's got a checkered past.

He's alleged relationships. Oh, my gosh. Oh, saved my Friday soul. I'm telling you what. I wish that we had awards to give out because I want to give him an award for that.

Like like a little cup, a little Champions Cup or something. Like we got it. We got to figure that out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they they they saw the I guess that we were talking about it because it was just that is what my favorite sound bites of the year. So because he just says that, you know, with yum, yum, say it louder, and Swalwell's losing his mind.

Oh, and now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right, so this American Airlines, this is kind of crazy. A man, a passenger on American Airlines urinated on another one.

I hate everything. People are ridiculous. He urinated on a flight from JFK to India. According to reports, an American Airlines passenger was taken into custody after a flight from JFK to New Delhi, and wasn't apparently the only one that sounds like a joy for that for the crew to have to deal with. Local media said that apparently there was an argument between two passengers and it ended with one of them urinating on the other. I thought you were losing an argument and you decided just to urinate on the other person.

Yeah, like and also how does one get urinated on? Because don't know what I know. Because if you how do you see that it's happening?

You see what's coming? Wouldn't you like flee so that doesn't happen to you? I mean, you're on a plane.

It's hard to flee. I mean, you can probably like, go somewhere. I mean, I don't know.

I just but I just seems I don't know. I don't even understand this story. Peacock aren't peacocks mean? Okay, so a guy in the Bronx, a roaming peacock bit his leg. He had they had actually called the ambulance emergency medical services. They had to call him to a scene of a bite in New York and Manhattan where an unnamed man suffered a minor injury. He didn't go to the hospital.

He used the citizen app. And it was a ferocious peacock roaming the streets and it bit his leg. He said in the video, quote, I thought I was bugging. And he goes, it started running up the hill to go into traffic.

We had to try to keep it safe. And then he said, as they were trying to save this stupid bird's life, he goes, that's when he goes, he grabbed my pants. And then the blinker flew in the blinker tree.

And then he said he got blinking bit and it blinking hurt. And it was a ferocious peacock. Yeah, I read that they're very temperamental. But at the same time, aren't they great? Like, aren't they like as good like they're as loud as like a guard dog, aren't they?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I know. What is the other bird that does that?

It sounds like a woman screaming. Oh, my gosh. guineas. Yeah, guinea hens. They there was one that was in our old neighborhood once sidebar.

I know I have headlines. But I didn't have any like corn because apparently likes corn. The only closing I had was like a Dorito. So I was trying to lure it to with some Doritos didn't like it.

And every time I got near it, it went It was ridiculous. I loved it. Let's see. The governor in West Virginia is going to challenge Joe Manchin. That's kind of to be expected.

I think everybody was expecting that was going to happen. Oh, my gosh, this is not no pun intended. NBC affiliate a sperm donor who fathered at least 550 kids has been banned from donating any more DNA. They said he misled prospective parents about the amount of offspring he had helped to conceive.

500 550. They said you're only allowed to produce a maximum of 25. With Yeah, with 12 mothers, how do you get to 550? That means somebody's gonna be with somebody's cousin over there.

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Learn more at Tiffany necklace.com. Yeah, I mean, you people can't say things that you dislike. So wait, should I feel like it should be illegal if you disagree with me? I mean, just you know, I like that. You know what else I feel like I feel like if you think greetings punk, I should be able to arrest you. Right? Or if I feel like if you think that St. Louis doesn't have the best barbecue, I feel like that should be illegal to usher in a whole feelings enforcement.

You know, one more one more thing I feel like if you don't like David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar. I'm ducking. I feel like that should be a misdemeanor. We're on in St. Louis. I know. Shh, don't tell the people don't tell the people in our hometown. Never got more hate mail than that.

I was at seven years ago. I mean, the calls. They have my gosh, they acted like I took Fred bird and beat him in the street.

It was horrible. Oh, my gosh, it's so funny. Anyway, because you have my point. He just feels like it should be illegal. That's I'm so glad that we don't make laws based upon Dylan Mulvaney's feelings, or mine. I'm actually really glad that we don't make laws based on my feelings because God I wouldn't want to live under my laws.

I wouldn't want to my gosh. I mean, it just there's no way. Now that we have whoagery and then we have some anti whoagery. So we have North Dakota moving to limit.

I can't believe I'm happy but at the same time I can't believe I'm saying these words with my mouth. North Dakota limits bathroom use for transgender people. First off, no one's limiting your can we just stop for a moment and break down this headline. This is from CBS. Now if you were to accept this headline from CBS on face value, what does it sound like to you? CBS is saying that North Dakota is physically blocking transgender people from relieving themselves.

Can you believe it? But they there aren't limits they have no they can go to the bathroom as often and as much as they want to in the bathroom that corresponds with their biological sex. I don't have any problem with that. I don't because I think that women's spaces particularly that should be respected and women's spaces should be there's a you have a someone had explained this as this British woman. And you know, I don't I don't know what I think about protected classes even as you know, women I go back and forth on certain things. But obviously, dudes are stronger than females are. We have a history of statistics, you know about I mean, if you're looking at and I and I love my dudes, I love y'all. But I mean, you know, it's the it's there's some criminals, you know, and that have preyed upon women and there's a statistical background to that, you know, not everybody can be like you all are.

And there's a reason why we have certain things in place. And whenever women are are feel uncomfortable, they're told they're bigots. If men who want to cosplay as women feel uncomfortable, they're they're accommodated, that there's an unfair practice there. And it's an unfair accommodation and an unfair promotion of one group over another before the law, which is itself unconstitutional.

That's antithetical to everything in this Republic. So the story is that North Dakota is saying look, trained kids who want to switch sexes adults who want to switch sexes, you have to use your bathrooms, locker rooms and showers that match. You know, that's you have to match your your biological your sex. It was signed into office.

The measure passed both the House and Senate veto veto proof majorities. So that you have to they have to match the gender that you know, they you can't have guys because this has happened before. There have been stories where guys will go and work out and they're guys who are who identify as women but they don't want to dress up as women and go to the gym or something and so they'll go into the women's locker room as a dude, you know, five o'clock shadow and beans and Frank the whole nine yards and or three and they go into the locker room and women are understandably freaked out. I mean, if that were to happen in any other kind of context, it would not be allowed but it's somehow allowable there. There's there's no reason why women shouldn't feel safe in these spaces. So they said that restrooms and shower rooms are going to be designated for use exclusively by males or exclusively by females, transgender or nonconforming people will need to get approval from a staff member, you know, whatever to use. And a lot of this isn't even about making sure that you know you feel comfortable in the bathroom. There are so many stories of schools like there was like a few years ago, a huge lawsuit, a student who was offered the use of faculty bathrooms, special for them bathrooms, all the faculty bathroom stuff is what they wanted to use. It was a boy who identified as a girl wanted to use the female restrooms. Having the faculty bathroom wasn't enough. He had to whip it out and urinate there with the with the girls and they took that that was a major lawsuit for the school that they had to deal with because of that and other parents and the girls did not feel comfortable with that. But they were told shut up bigot.