Absurd Truth: Fedbois Are Back

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So this is actually pretty amazing. A 13 year old, very brave 13 year old Florida girl legit fought off a shark at a Florida beach. Man, Florida girls hardcore.

You don't mess with 13 year old Florida girl. Ella Reid was sitting in shallow water with her friend near a jetty at Fort Pierce Beach when she felt a sharp pain on her side. She said that it I she said the thing she felt the most was it hitting my stomach really hard. She said she punched the shark as it approached her and then it swam away swam right back. She said it wouldn't leave me alone.

So I had to use my arm and hand to it got my arm and my finger. She said she was approached again by the shark. She called for her mom and brother. Her mom was in shark was in shock after seeing the sharks swimming around her daughter and she was covered in blood.

From head to toe. Mom couldn't see what was going on. She got 19 stitches. She was bit in the stomach, arm finger and top of her knee. She's gonna be okay. She said she's a Florida native never been afraid of the ocean. She says she's gonna get back in the water. But they they believe it was a bull shark about five to six feet long. And she said she's those are actually pretty hardcore scars to have.

That's like pretty amazing. But she punched it and she sounds like so calm and cool about it. Yeah, so it swam up and I just punched it and I mean, that's kind of awesome. Oh, man.

Because I think I don't know that I would have been like that. It's a shark. I don't like snakes in the water crickets anywhere or or I don't.

I don't want a shark like right there by me, but I'm okay with it at a distance. I don't know. Yeah. So there was a guy who broke a Florida man who broke the record for the longest time living underwater. He's a Florida University professor. Longest time. He said he's not ending his subquatic lifestyle just yet.

74 years old. He's gonna make it to 100 days underwater. Why he lives in like this thingy.

This like, little undersea lodge is what it's called. Yeah, it's he's like he's a human SpongeBob dude. I'm that's pretty hardcore. So I mean, he's gonna try to make it it's 74 days he's gonna try to make it to 100. And, you know, I guess they're studying it.

I just I couldn't do it. Because yeah, no, that seems they have divers that go down a wave at him and stuff. I would think so. There's a woman who's handing out free donuts. Only to raccoons though at a drive thru.

I just heard a few people go Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, they got no it's a they usually go to the Dunkin Donuts dumpster in New Smyrna Beach and and they get the old ones. But now these little trash pandas they want them fresh. So they're coming up and they're handing them out. This woman's handing them and there's video of it.

And they are his they are hysterical. And they're looking at the cars coming up like can I come? Can I get?

Can I just they know exactly? Yes, it's and it kind of makes me want some raccoons. I don't know if that's like a good thing to have.

I don't know. Have you seen the videos where the old man feeds these raccoons and they're all under his deck and it's like night of the living dead their little hands pause whatever come up and they're grabbing it food. I mean, I don't know I kind of want my own little me of raccoons. You've heard me talk about my friends at Caltech for years and it's because I really believe in them as a company and as innovators. Their firearms in design and function go above and beyond like with the Caltech P 50 a revolutionary award winning pistol that packs a punch in a compact package. The Caltech P 50 is perfect for home defense for rain shooting or just even having some fun. And with its top mounted Picatinny rail, you can easily attach your favorite optics or accessories to make it truly yours.

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And I got a lot of stuff. He's a unifier, isn't he? He's a unifier. You know, he's all about the unity, Kane. He's President McUnity. He is all about the unity.

And he's all about. Yeah, unity. The truth.

Unity. That stuff. I sound sounds like what is it Kylie Jenner, that one soundbite that never gets old. Like this is the era of like realizing stuff. It's my favorite soundbite ever.

And I think it's also very Nat Connie. You got it, don't you? Are you pulling it up right now? For the people? The people here?

Check this out. This is what we're talking about. The new energy. And I feel like this year is really about like the year of just realizing stuff.

And everyone around me, we're all just like realizing things. Like, wow, that is those things over there. Wow. Wow, that stuff. It's crazy.

Like realizing things. That's Biden. Like, I don't know. I don't get these people. I don't get this.

But he's saying it because he's at a black college. He's saying that, like how Hillary Clinton, you know, someone gave that woman a thing of hot sauce. And she's like, well, I do have hot sauce in my purse.

Like, like, Elizabeth Warren. Hey, sweetie, would you like a beer? No one ever knows. No one knows.

No one knows. No one ever knows that that woman does not drink beer. And her husband looks shocked like the hell is this? What? Who are you? And what are you doing with my wife?

What? Hi, sweetie. Would you like a beer? Holds it up. slaps it out of her hand.

That's not even the beer I like runs away. No. Anyway. Oh, man, y'all. I don't even know. That's, um, there's just no way.

No way at all. I can't I don't know. I this it's speaking of beer.

Because he's first off Biden's plan. It really still we're doing the most dangerous threat. Can we where's the set? I have this on my rundown.

Forgive me. I'm, I got distracted because of some stupid story. And I was reading it on break. This whole, like play for this. What did they have that what was the group the Patriot front? Did they they came out or something over the weekend to jog or something like that? What was happening?

What was the story behind this? I had one of my first graduations, my oldest graduate of college. And I know I'm a young I know I'm a young collegiate parent.

But and then my youngest I have another graduation coming up from my youngest son. And so I didn't watch you know what the Fed boys Oh, I'm sorry, the Patriot full front was doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So did they who this is such I'm sorry, this is a sign up. I think it's a sign up. I think it was a sign up to, to tell everyone that the country was shutting down so that Donald Trump could arrest child predators. I think that was a way I literally I wonder if the CIA put that out there to get to that, because they thought that was gonna be a way to get people on the right to stay home.

I have thoughts anyway. So the, where did they did they have a little thingy over the weekend? Is that what it was? I'm asking this because I just watched them run down some stairs in a video. Who are these people that? Why are they not like following them back to Quantico? I mean, why are they not following them back to wherever they come from? I what they they they follow these people all around with with all kinds of video. And no one asks them any questions.

What? Who are these people? Are they just the I mean, they they look kind of like they just didn't put the FBI logos on the pullovers.

I mean, what these are Fed boys. But did they have their little thingy over the weekend? Is that what it was, Cain? Because and then you have so so that Biden could go out there and say what he said at the college? Yes.

So that the white supremacy lie would seem more true. So you have a bunch of guys that and I do like what Rogan said about them. They're off. There's no where the fat ones where the fat chicks at? Yeah, they're all dudes. But where are the fat ones? And he's right on that. But why they all run in lockstep. They I mean, are they buds rejects?

Like what are they? I agree with what was that I agree with that. So Biden comes out and says, Oh, it's the biggest the biggest terrorist threat to our homeland is the white supremacy. The only white supremacy that I saw was the Antifa burning down black communities. And everyone goes, Oh, that's just it's just a mostly peaceful protest. Ignore these white people that are terrorizing these black communities. Because they're on the left. It's Antifa.

They're forgiven. Where the black the black black people where they all order they all went to Hot Topic. They got the same black hoodies and the same black pants. And they wore the kerchiefs over their faces. Because they thought it looked cool. They look like revolutionaries when really they look like stooges. I just don't. Yeah, they were this the patriot front people.

They had the Gators, the neck gators over their faces. And literally nobody believes that these are not fed boys. Not a single person. I don't trust anybody now.

Nobody. Just just, you can't, especially in a time when everybody's an activist. You can't trust anybody.

You really can't. I don't know. But his remarks there. But he did say that just because he was in the black he was in front of Black College. I wonder what?

Who's the guy who was the grand lizard or whatever that they? Yeah, Robert Byrd, the guy who literally said the N word on NBC and Matt Lauer almost had a stroke. He was like, there's some good and bad. And Matt Lauer was like, what? What did you just say?

You're totally undercutting the reason for doing this interview. Joe Biden, didn't he eulogize him? Or is probably Karine Jean-Pierre and Zoolander would say you googly. They eulogized him. So I just, that's a long way from that.

He's the guy who literally gave the eulogy for the grand lizard. Who is now saying, oh, it's people like me are the greatest threat to the country. And now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. So 50% of Chicagoans witnesses shooting by the time they're 40. Can you imagine that's your life? Like growing up in Chicago? Have you seen your shooting yet? This is a new study because the crime is so out of control. Around 50% of Chicagoans will have personally encountered a shooting incident before reaching the age of 40 as a resulting skyrocketing crime.

That's what's happening. The recent report published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, they said it was a comprehensive study that tracked the lives of Chicago residents from childhood to adolescence in the 90s beginning and from that beginning till middle age. And they found 56% of black and Hispanic Chicagoans have witnessed at least one shooting incident one, at least one by the time they reach the age of 40.

And the study group, they said that there were 7% that experienced themselves having been shot. This is just unbelievable. That's how bad the crime in Chicago is to say nothing of San Francisco. We got some of that coming up here.

Argentina has ramped up their interest rate to 97% to combat inflation. That hurt me. That hurt me.

I just got the I think I got the air knocked out of me. That's crazy. Remote work comes with daytime drug and drinking habits. Wow. Is anyone actually shocked about this?

No, that's what happened. When you send everyone home to work, guess what they start drinking. Especially when you when you lock them down and they don't get to do anything else for like two years.

We're still feeling the effects of that. According to Reuters, the US has demanded a recall of 67 million airbag inflators. They said that the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration 67 million of them they said that there's a safety defect but auto supplier ARC Automotive Inc. rejected the request.

According to documents on Friday, the auto agency said that inflators pose a reasonable unreasonable risk of death or injury. But the they said ARC has not made a defect determination that would require a recall of this population. So in fact, the the agency is fighting with the actual manufacturer there.

We have a lot more on the way the latest in the Daniel penny case, and the GOP stick with us. Can we talk about this commercial here real quick with Miller Lite? Since I brought up the Elizabeth Warren thing with beer, so it'll be a nice segue into wokery. So is this this is their real actual commercial? Yeah. So if you're unfamiliar, and if you're just joining us and listening to the show across the country or watching the simulcast on YouTube, Facebook or channel 347, DirecTV. Apparently, so Miller Lite came out with a beer commercial, where it's chicks.

So they're, they're at least recognizing women, but they're still playing into this old trope of this old feminist trope, as a way to check a woke box. Oh, no, we don't want to look like the alternative to bud light like that. We don't want to sell beer either. Here we go. I mean, that's what this is.

Can we play some of this ad? It's all censored. But it's a chick who's mad. She's taking issue with women in bikinis being used for beer commercials, as though they're objecting women.

First off, I reject this entirely. Nobody forced women into bikinis. Okay, women were fine back in the day. They wanted to wear bikinis to the beach and they were told not to and they're like, we're gonna wear the bikinis.

So now they are they they're acting like they were forced into them when that absolutely wasn't true. Women like looking attractive and they like feeling fit. We do. We like it. We enjoy it. So this is this commercial.

I guess that they they wanted to shoot themselves in the foot. The Miller Lite people you knew this was coming. I could have told you this. Yeah, here hold my beer says Miller Lite.

Do we have it? Here's a little known fact. Women were among the very first to brew beer ever. From Mesopotamia to the Middle Ages to colonial America, women were the ones doing the brewing. Centuries later, how did the industry pay homage to the founding mothers of beer? They put us in bikinis. Oh, they did? Look at this s***.

Wild. It's time beer made it up to women. So today Miller Lite is on a mission to clean up not just their s*** but the whole beer industry. Miller Lite has been scouring the internet for all this s*** and buying it back so that they can turn it into good s*** for women brewers. Literally good s***.

How you ask? Ladies, take it away. First we turn the bad s*** into compost. Now we feed compost to warms, pushing it out. Beautiful fertilizer.

That good s*** helps farmers grow quality hops, which has been donated to women brewers to make their own really good s***. Really? I don't believe that any of these broads can make a good man. Really? I don't believe that any of these broads can make a good man.

Sorry, I don't. I mean, I, I can't, you can't even, even, I just, I have no words. This is so dumb. A smart woman would look at this and be like, you're right, women were able to convince men to do the labor for us and high five themselves. But instead they're b****** about it. What is wrong with you? Feminism has convinced you to get mad that your previous female leaders convinced dudes to do your work for you. If you brought about brewing, then you got the men to do it. It's just assuming.

I love how they assume that everything is run by dudes. And you're complaining about that? Because why? Why?

I don't get it. That's so dumb. And to play into this old trope, nobody forced women into bikinis. Oh my gosh, nobody forced you into a bikini. A dude created it and then y'all wanted to wear it. And a lot of y'all, a lot of y'all back in the history incurred fines for bearing to wear it on a beach and now you're like, it's like they turn into these neopuritans. You forced us into bikinis.

Forced. I mean, let's ignore the fact that boob jobs are like super popular and like all these women get all this stuff done. How dare you do this to us? I mean, there's nothing wrong with women wanting to look attractive and feel fit. There's nothing wrong with us. I think that's a lie of feminism that it shames you into thinking that you should feel bad for that. Girls, you know, when you look good, you know, when you look good, because I see y'all with all y'all selfies and all y'all on Instagram and you're I see I see my my 40 something year old friends that do this. You know that you like it. And if you say you don't, you're a lying liar. And you are immediately immediately ejected from the conversation.

Because you can't be truthful. Like I said, smart women would look at this and go, Yeah, good job us ladies. We convinced the men to do the work for us. So Miller's trying to recognize women, but at the same time. Yeah, geez. Guys, look at us. We're gonna say this bad word over and over again.

We're edgy. We're calling I really don't know that I want beer that's called. Shh, you know, the good. I really don't think that I want that beer. If you're actually calling it that it might taste like it. And going by your attitude and your reasoning. That's probably a safe bet that it does. Just saying. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.