Absurd Truth: SVB's Pronoun Seminars

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Boy, so a Florida Man rescued his dog from the jaws of an alligator last Friday. No, this is not the one story of the video. This is a brand new dude with his brand new dog.

Well, it wasn't brand new, but it's a new story. It was a 12 foot gator. So this guy and his girlfriend, they were walking their dog at Riverside Park along the Little Econ River when an alligator snatched the dog. The guy jumped onto the alligator's back and began raining blows to save the dog. And who boy, the dog was saved, I think.

They don't really give a lot of updates about it. But police are like, you guys got to be really careful once again about walking your dogs near any point. I don't know what I would I would I think I would actually dismember the gator. I think I would I think I would have like a superhuman strength and I would rip its arms off and then beat it with him with its own arms, legs, the legs. Yeah, okay, whatever.

Also, I wanted to be correct about that. A suspect was arrested for stealing a Florida Man, two endangered tortoises from one was a rare Galapagos tortoise. And they found it in his freezer. Joshua McCarty Thomas. They said they found one of the rare tortoises alive in the yard. The other one was dead in the freezer. Oh my gosh, they look like little like ancient people like their little Galapagos tortoises. So they found them and I really want this guy.

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Secure your world with Caltech, Caltech weapons.com. Yeah, I enjoyed who enjoyed watching your bank went broke. How much time did you spend? You conducted pronoun seminars, didn't you? I what's the pronoun seminar? I introduced a seminar organized by 300 of my colleagues just as I went to. Yeah, but you let you enter you you spent a lot of time doing pronoun seminars, lecturing people about how they ought to use the right pronouns, gender neutral pronouns, didn't you?

I actually spent no time beyond introducing that. I could show the seminars, but I won't do it. I that's Senator Kennedy from Louisiana. He is just ripping that chair of signature bank a new one over the pronoun seminars.

He's Yeah, they they because they did they hosted. I'm gonna go back to March 14. The signature bank boss hosted a company seminar on gender gender neutral pronouns z and here. I don't wait we're gonna come back to that. First off, welcome back.

Dana lash here with you. Okay, now back to the pronoun thing. Okay, this sounds it sounds like a like you have like a like you. I don't know have a bad accent or something. I don't understand. It's the pronouns ours.

They hold this. They they held a seminar on gender neutral pronouns z z e and hair. HIR.

How do you say that? Here? Like is it e hair here? Her?

It can't be her because hers bad, right? I mean, is it like her like Nellie can't be him so hot in her. Is it like that? Like St. Louis? Like is it?

I mean, how is it? Her? No, probably her. That sounds like there's an air but without the A. What happened to sir? I thought it was z and sir.

I never knew about those. So wait a minute. You mean it makes it less. Guys, I have I have a great way to make these pronouns less offensive. Hmm. So like with her, we're just going to switch the vowel in the middle. That's a Yeah.

Genius genius idea. We're and we're going to switch the consonant in z and he so instead of he it's z see. Oh, it's like Beavis and Butthead stuff.

It's so different. Here. And then you just you sound dumb. My pronouns are z and hair. What? I don't know what that means.

Ah, so I love it because it sounds the way that they explained it and their thing. It reminds me of so one of my what I love. I don't think there's only one Tim Burton movie that I'm kind of ambivalent on that was the Willy Wonka only because I just have such a devotion to Gene Wilder. But Tim Burton, I said like Tim Burton, Quentin Tarantino, some of the best directors ever out there.

Anyway, Burton's. He did Pee Wee's Big Adventure, right? Big Top Pee Wee, Pee Wee's Big Adventure. And I love it when he went to the Alamo. And Jan hooks was giving the tour and it's hysterical because Jan hooks was giving the tour. And it was mostly like Mexican American tourists who were there who clearly could probably speak Spanish. And she was trying to basically tell people how to pronounce Spanish words. It was hysterical. But I get the same vibe from the video seminar, where you have these bank execs up there going z and her like Jan hooks telling people this is an authentic Mexican tortilla. Can y'all say tortilla at the in the Pee Wee's Big Adventure movie?

That's what they're doing. And you got this very uncomfortable looking dude up there's ties crooked. And he's he's going well, you know, the list of pronouns, and he's going down the list of pronouns.

And it honestly sounds like he's reading a Lewis Carroll poem. And z is another gender neutral pronoun. The other part of that would be her. I'm gonna say it like that. HIR.

Z and HIR. And you got to make that face. You have to. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. But you know, maybe they should have worried a little bit more about, I don't know, banking.

Then, but then they do have this guy. It was a seminar, a corporate consultant on gender issues. And he looks like he should be in the unemployment line. Because he's got frosted tips.

He's got a Hitler stash, frosted tips. And I just hate his everything about his appearance. Yeah, I'm gonna drop this in slack. I just feel like you shouldn't take like lectures from people who don't know how to dress themselves. I'm gonna be really superficial for a second. It's almost Friday.

We're halfway there. Yeah, look at the guy. Look at the guy. Am I wrong, Cain?

Am I wrong? First of all, who does their hair like that? That's not a color found in nature. It's a blonde color.

Juan's gonna throw it up for you simulcast viewers. Tell the radio listeners, describe that color of hair for them, Cain, the guy who's hosting the seminar. Let's say you started with brown hair. And then you doused your head in hydrogen peroxide for about five or 10 minutes.

And then you dried it off. That's it. That's it. That's it.

That's the process. I mean, he and so his name is Finn Brigham. And he was a corporate consultant on gender.

He's going to come in to tell everybody about your privates. And he hosted this whole thing about pronouns. And they had literally how do you do a whole video? And it was over an hour long.

Dude, the video that Kennedy was questioning him, the video was over an hour long. And, and they one of the options was just my name. Shut up. I've got I got a pronoun. I'm just saying.

I can't say it because it'd be like, oh, that over there. That's a pronoun. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I mean, yo, what's your pronouns? Z here and that there? Okay. Person.

Pat from SNL. See, this was one of the banks, you have signature Silicon Valley, you got all these banks that ran into some issues, they didn't have any liquidity. Because all their liquidity was in their pronouns, an hour long video. I feel like if you're ever going to have an adult tantrum, which is just your personal riot, I don't believe in words like tantrums for adults. I just believe in like the two phrase, the phrase personal riot. I just think that. Oh, my gosh, put that down. It so is.

Let's but we're going to trademark this right now. So you guys whenever you're mad about something, you're not having a tantrum. If you're an adult, you know how like crazy is the word for poor people eccentric is for like the rich people, right? They can be eccentric.

Whereas if you're broke, you're just crazy. So if you're an adult, if you're a child, it's a tantrum. If you're an adult, it's just a personal riot.

That's all. So I'm just thinking if you were ever to have a personal riot, it would be at a company meeting like this where you have to endure an hour plus long video about pronouns, given by people who look like they stepped out of the sprockets skit from SNL. A tiny handful of you are going to get that reference, but you know what I mean?

It'll be worth it. So that's just one of the things that's happening, right? That's so that's what long story short, but finally bringing the tugboat to shore. That's what Kennedy was talking about when he's questioning this guy. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five.

All right, so first up, we got a lot. A man, gosh, he travels to Seattle, and is immediately stabbed. Like literally within two hours of arriving in Seattle, he was stabbed. His quote didn't expect any of these issues per Daily Wire. Laurel Dugan, an East Coast attorney visiting Seattle on business said that he was surprised by the city's rampant crime and homelessness after he was stabbed in an attempted mugging. This was on May 7, according to KOMO. Joshua Pond was stabbed outside of a Courtyard Marriott hotel in downtown Seattle two hours after arriving in the city. He was waiting for his ride share to take him and his colleague to dinner. The individual Joe Quimbo was arrested for the alleged assault or stabbing you mean?

He was convicted for numerous he's been previously convicted for numerous charges, burglary, malicious mischief, having knives on him, all kinds of stuff. Pond's told the Seattle outlet that he was just surprised about this. Really?

I mean, have you been under a rock? If you own a Jeep Cherokee? Well, apparently you're told to not park it in the garage and call your dealer. That's what people are being told because apparently there's well there's they're having a recall. According to channel 11 WTOL that's that affiliate in AP Stellantis is telling owners of 2222,000 Jeep Cherokees that they need to be parked outdoors and park away from other vehicles because the power lift gates can catch fire even when the engines are off. So they're recalling certain Cherokees from the model years 2014 through 2016.

They said that water can get into the lift gate control computer cause an electrical short and that can touch off of a fire. They're still working to develop a fix. But they said owners are getting notification letters starting June 30. It seems a long way off.

So you might want to just check, you know, check your stuff. New York Post reports that a brawl broke out at Disney World after a family refused to move for a photo op. Oh, wow. One family asked another family if they could scooch over so they could take a photo in front of the park's 100th anniversary sign. And apparently the one family didn't want to accommodate and so they began yelling and cursing at each other. The workers and security had to get involved and split them up.

One guy got knocked to the ground. It was, I mean, really, is it that important? It's Disney World.

I mean, we've, you know, you're just lucky they didn't have a drag queen come out and shake your bits in front of your kids. It's true. True story. I mean, that's, you know. Also, this is very interesting. So this is my friend Lachlan Marquet. OpenAI is working on building a machine learning classifier that's going to flag when ChatGPT is asked to generate large volumes of text that appear related to electoral campaigns or lobbying.

It's a company that advertised how it would use ChatGPT to boost the multi billion dollar lobbying and advocacy industry and OpenAI said to clarify, they only want grassroots organizations to use it. Up next, Congressman James Comer. So Bud Light, speaking of woke guys, they think they're going to bring everybody they think they're going to bring you back. So here's the thing. They figured it out. Guys, this is what we're doing. Okay. Like if you were looking inside the board meeting. We're going to put camo on the bottles. What? Yes. That's a brilliant idea, Bob.

Thank you, Stan. We're putting camo on all the bottles because we know these right wingers love them some camo. Yes, they do, Bob. They love camo.

It's amazing. And they and then they said they're going to Oh, and they're going to also add images honoring fallen veterans. Anything that they can do to come back from that disaster. So they're Budweiser packaging is getting a redesign. Now I will say now this is a group that we've worked with before Folds of Honor. They're putting Folds of Honor there were I guess they're working with Folds of Honor for it. You know why this doesn't hit?

You know why? Because it they have not recognized what they did initially. I think if they had done that even poke fun at themselves for it. People would have gotten over it. The people who you need all come talk to me about your ads.

You know, it may cost you a bit but you need to come you need to come talk to me about y'all's ads. There's a number of things they could do. They could have poked some fun at themselves, right? They and they could have acknowledged the fact that women are not caricatures.

That was the big thing. And I gotta say, I gotta I gotta give a hand all the dudes out there. Because there are a lot of dudes that stopped drinking Bud Light because of this. And I really I think it's I think it's cool the way they did it because the way that I view it is that they were stepping up for the ladies. Because the ladies saw a dude instead of putting like a female athlete out there. The ladies saw a dude who cosplays as a chick goes in woman face, as Tyrus first quoted, goes in woman face. And it was a caricature of how women act. No woman acts like that. First off, no woman gets in a bathtub with a top on. But anyway, no woman acts like that.

Full makeup and everything. Are you kidding me? And the men stepped up. Because I think it's probably more dudes than chicks that drink Bud Light. And there were a lot of dudes that had to step up in order for them to feel this kind of sting. So on behalf of the ladies, I give you thanks. Thank you for sticking up for us.

That's very that's very chivalrous and very kind of you. All the ways that you did it too. Now they're scrambling to regain.

Regain all of you back though. They're like, guys, we're just gonna put some camel on it. Now I like that they're they're they're doing images of Folds of Honor. But I also think that they're hiding behind Folds of Honor.

And I and again, we donate to them where we work with them. I think they're trying to hide behind Folds of Honor to avoid accountability. Here's, here's the thing. We're not and I want to make it straight. This is not petty. We're not looking at this like I want an apology.

I demand this and this. I think the the move of what they did was was harmful to women. I think was harmful to women because how are you going to sit here and say that you're mad over chicks in you know, bikinis advertising beer, but you're okay with a dude who is trying to be sexually alluring as a woman in cosplay in the bathtub. With, you know, carefully applied bubbles.

And you know, frolicking around in a bathtub with a, for the lack of a better way to put it, a charcuterie tier of beer. That's, you know what I mean? It's, it's, it's, it was mockery. And they don't under, it's like they don't, I don't know if they don't understand it, or if they think that it's a weakness to apologize. And women are not looking, we're not, we're not demanding, oh, apologize to us and we're never going to forgive you. We just want you to recognize that we exist. And that we deserve better than being made fun of like that. Because that dude is just making fun of chicks.

You can, I don't care how you view it. I view it as this dude's making fun of chicks. No chick acts like that. You take all of the worst, ridiculous aspects, stereotypes, characteristics of what you think a chick is, and you turn it into a caricature. It's silly. It's like vaudeville offensive. And they haven't, they don't appreciate that. I think making some strikes, like if they came out and they had like Riley Gaines in an ad, or they had even Martina Natural, how do you say her name?

Navratilova. You know, they had all different types of people. You know, the chicks in the bikinis, the frat bros, the dad bods, the moms, everybody, the grands, get everybody out there, right?

Focus on the unity of all these different people toasting with some Bud Light. That goes a long way because you're acknowledging that they exist. You're also saying, you know what, we messed up. Kind of poke some fun at yourself. That's all people are looking for. They're just looking for recognition of that. That's it. Women are worth more than how they've handled it. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.