Absurd Truth: Poop Patrol + Page

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. It's time for Florida Man. That has to have like a health complication, right?

Like they would, I don't know. A Florida Man was arrested with fentanyl while impeding traffic with a homeless sign. Lee County, Florida. Florida Man was arrested for drug possession, obstructing traffic. He stood in the middle of an intersection with a sign while holding bags of fentanyl. The sign read hungry, homeless, anything helps. And then he, law enforcement deemed that as a distraction. And visual obstruction for motorists. They said it was a hazardous use of right of way. And when he saw the cops, though, he departed the intersection, tried to conceal the cardboard sign in his pocket, and they found a lots of lots of fentanyl, apparently.

And it white, apparently white powder bag and a pink powder bag, both which both which tested positive for fentanyl. So he's arrested on a whole slew of charges. You're just gonna stand out there with bags of fentanyl in the middle of the road?

Was he trying to get arrested? I mean, apparently, apparently. I mean, I guess he is.

Yeah, but I don't. I mean, is he like dangling it? That's one thing that article didn't say like, is he dangling it out there like a free fentanyl or something? I don't know.

Let's see. This Florida Man says quote, Damn, that's a nice bike before taking me and bike. So the victim was at the bus stop in northwest Miami Dade. According to police, the victim was at the bus stop with his bicycle resting against his leg.

And 36 year old Adonte McKinney and three men approached him. Authorities said the suspects told the victim, Damn, that's a nice bike, and then literally took it and ran away. The victim chased the suspect, but lost sight of him. And then when the victim returned to the bus stop, McKinney picked him up by his hoodie and pinned him against the wall next to the bus bench. Then he put the victim down. Offered him to take off his shoes and socks.

The victim took off his shoes, wouldn't take off his socks. McKinney forcibly removed them, took his cell phone, $40 from his wallet, threw the wallet and cell phone back at him. And then police arrived at the scene. They detained McKinney after the victim called 911. So he was booked. No bond set yet. He's got two warrants out for domestic violence, though. So that's, I mean, swashbuckler seen stealing Captain Morgan statue in Inglewood.

Yeah. Apparently, they're looking for this guy. It was at Inglewood Business, May 19. They said that this Florida thief used a blue door to a blue two door pickup and then was traveling with a canine first mate. I hope the dog's okay and legit stole this Captain Morgan statue of all the things to steal. They're looking for him. Police are looking for this guy.

I also have, oh, I got another one. A man accused of jumping into Busch Gardens alligator enclosure arrested. Why would you jump in there?

Tampa police arrested 20 year old Jacob Perciful in Tampa Monday evening. He and two other people made their way to the Gator habitat. Did they know what they were doing? And people were one of his friends recorded it. They posted it on social media. The detectives see the video helped them identify and locate him. He points to the crowd and says another wild Karen Crikey in the video. That's what he says in the video. Someone in the crowd just shouted at him to get out. A woman said it's very dangerous.

You're going to get hurt. And I Oh, man. Wildlife Rescue and Rehabilitation founder said that was stupid. That was their direct quote. So they arrested I mean, golly, how do you get in that in the first place?

I would just think that they would have cameras and that they would know. But of course, are people that stupid? Really?

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I laughed my head off when I read it last night when I was adding it to the rundown. I'm just gonna say it. There's poop everywhere. San Francisco's office district is not only a ghost town, it's also covered in feces, like literally. So you know that they had to do you guys remember when they did the poop patrol? San Francisco? That's like literally what they did. They had a San Francisco pulling up my notes.

Because some of you who maybe haven't listened for that long, are like, Wait, what? Yes, San Francisco has a poop patrol. Now, if you think that's crazy, they make six figures. For real, they earn.

I mean, they can earn what with benefits. It's like 112,000 something dollars. I mean, we got in the wrong business. For real. The wrong business. So they said the poop patrol with the benefits, they earn base salary 71,000 a year.

They with 112,000 in benefits. Yeah, dude, for real. Yeah, I told well, we wouldn't this was this was a couple of years ago, it got so bad with everybody defecating out in the public. That that's what now you would think that, you know, they would probably try to deal with the homeless issue, etc. But instead, they would try to deal with the homeless issue. But instead, they're like, No, maybe we need more public toilets. Okay, that might be a reasonable response.

Right? To think, well, maybe it's because we need more public restroom facilities. Okay. So we know what they decided to do. They decided to do to have a public toilet.

Sure. A 150 square foot restroom. We talked about this when this happened. It was $1.7 million for an toilet. Wow.

And singular toilet. That it seems to me like they don't really understand the best way to deal with well and money. That doesn't seem to be a responsible use of taxpayer dollars, does it? Not really.

Hmm. So they, the state said that they were going to withhold funds for the city because the city cannot figure out how to use money efficiently. So they have that and then they pay their poop patrol six figures. And that poop patrol they get. I mean, they I mean, it's what else am I going to call it? What it's the poop team?

What else do you want to call it? They wear the little vest and everything they go around, they legit scoop up duty. They're doing their duty with duty. Oh my gosh, duty duty. What?

It's their duty duty. Steve says it's Paw Patrol's cousin. It is it's like Paw Patrol, but with poop.

We're never going to get off this topic because I'm five. So they, this is how bad it is literally everything they touch turns to feces. It does everything they touch so they got they have their their their their gas powered everything is going to get regulated out of existence.

They've got rolling blackouts. They spend a billion something dollars on a high speed rail from LA to San Francisco that no one needed. And it never nothing ever came of it. This is insane. Now, here's my other favorite story today.

I was going through like getting you getting the table set so I could get to this. I'm just gonna read the story. It's New York Post. You guys remember Ellen Page and she changed her name to Elliot Page and she says that she's a dude. Right.

Okay. So Elliot Page, says that she experienced a transphobic attack outside of an LA hotel. She said that she was standing on a corner in West Hollywood on her way to the Pink Dot convenience store when an enraged and hateful stranger approached her shouting obscenities. The man yelled quote, I'm going to blanking gay bash you you blanket. Now, I just I have never seen any kind of garden variety mouth breather say they were going to gay bash you. I mean, just calling her a name would be I guess the societal definition of gay bashing.

Who says I'm going to gay bash you? Did he go this is MAGA country after and then go get a Subway sandwich? Is that what he did? Elliot sommelier here. Oh my gosh, juicy page. It's his name now.

Her name now. They said that she went into the Pink Dot shop, and that the man allegedly followed her stood in the store's doorway. Well, I'm sure there's tons of video of this then, right? Because you know, it happened in West Hollywood. It happened at a convenience store. First off, it happened at a convenience store.

Here's the other question that I have. Why did the guy affirm her gender, her chosen gender? Because you don't call a woman the F word for gay. That is not a term for a lesbian. You know what I mean? Like you don't call the lesbian the F word that ends that's that rhymes with maggot.

You don't call. Right? That's a that's the gay dude slur, isn't it? Who calls lesbians that? Where are the lesbians at that listen to this show? That's that's a gay dude word, isn't it? I literally reached I was like, have you ever been called and they were like, everybody said that that's a dude term. So wait a minute, you're telling me that this dude who followed her into the Pink Dot was saying that he was going to gay bash her, but he was nice enough to affirm her gender.

Her her chosen gender. Are you kidding me? Because I this 1000% didn't happen.

It's maggot country. Go go get a Subway sandwich. I'm gonna gay bash you. Nobody says nobody talks like that.

That's literally nothing that ever happened. But I am right, right? That word is not used for gay chicks. It's a gay dudes.

Right? I mean, I don't want to sit here get technical technical with the slurs, but I think that that's revealing. I do think that's revealing. So I'm just you know, I she I think she wishes that she could be viewed as the f word that rhymes with maggot. I mean, I think that's Yeah, I think that's what she wants.

But I'm just just the whole thing seems like very juicy sommelier to me. It really does. And now all of the news you would probably miss.

It's time for Dana's quick five. So Apple in its new update, they're going to stop auto correcting words I can't say on air, including the word that is often changed to duck. In the same, because none of you all don't know this because you're angels, aren't you? You're purest of hearts and motives. You have no idea what I'm talking about. You're so innocent to all innocent out there in radio land. They said that sometimes if you want to type a word, you're keeping it to yourself.

Or doesn't go along with it. Apple Senior Vice President of software engineering said yes, it's they're finally changed. I mean, it's only been 11,000 years, right?

They're finally on it. I mean, I guess I'm sure there's probably some more important stuff, but nobody cares. This I don't know when I see the phrase deadly bacteria, I get a little nervous. So then I see the CDC says something and then I immediately don't believe it. So where do I fall on this deadly bacteria that kills up to 50% of patients is now endemic to us. Gulf Coast, the CDC a year after it was first detected in the country. So an epidemiologist, Dr. Julia Petrus made the warning.

It's called you ready? Burkholderia pseudomaly. Right sounds right. Yeah, it's likely lurking in soil and stagnant water across the 1600 miles from Texas to Florida. They said that people infected with it suffer meloidiosis, a severe condition that can trigger pneumonia sepsis and can be fatal. Doctors say they're on alert for the disease. It can intentionally initially be misdiagnosed as another infection.

I don't know what I mean, can you kill it with antibiotics? Like what's the I mean, so it's just like stagnant water, right? Essentially, like moist soil. That's your favorite word.

And stagnant water, right? That's kind of what it is. I don't like any of those things anyway. So just avoid those. Right?

That seems like the smartest thing to do. This is really wild. New York Post says 30 nearly 30 children are reported missing in Cleveland during the first two weeks of May in an extraordinary surge. 30 nearly 30 just in the first two weeks of May in Cleveland. They said it's extraordinary.

They don't have any. There's no record of this like to this extent happening before. 27 kids went missing between May 6, May 2 and May 16. As Newburgh Heights Police Chief John McJoy warned that the disappearance have reached unprecedented levels in 2023 says there's always peaks and valleys.

But this year it seems like a pretty extraordinary year. We're seeing a lot more than we normally see. We don't know if it's trafficking or if they're involved in gang activity or drugs or what it is. He said the majority of the cases are runaways, but he feared some of them could have been victims of predators, whom he likened to wolves in sheep's clothing.

That's horrible and terrifying. And I really feel for those families. A new study finds that being happily married prevents working men from burnout. I get it. Because they have a family and a wife and all that or whatever to attend to.

And they're not going to be burning themselves out at work. That makes sense. It's the National Research University Higher School of Economics. And a virologist hunting mystery coronavirus strain in Ohio wastewater suspects one individual has been affected for two plus years.

Like consistently had it for two plus years. Kind of interesting. We have a lot more on the way economics the latest with Congress versus Ray and so much more.

Stick with us. I'm sure you've seen some of the video of parents in Michigan protesting and objecting to what's being taught in schools. But the media doesn't write about it because they're Muslim parents. They don't want to talk about it. They had a fight that broke out.

A couple of entities have this. At one school board meeting, this is the one in California, where it was Antifa and parental rights activists. It was Glendale Unified School District's administration meeting last night. And they were discussing the alphabet curriculum. And they said that law enforcement arrested three people amid the mayhem after the protest exceeded the bounds of peaceful assembly.

And there was mayhem. It sounds I mean, it looks some of these parents are you're talking about their kids, they're not going to mess with you. You know, they will, they'll beat you down for their kids. They'll take an assault charge for their kids, especially when you're you're pushing to override their parental rights and responsibility to determine what is or is an appropriate age wise for their child in the classroom. They had Armenian and Hispanic parents, the majority of the parents were Armenian and Hispanic.

They were outside. So as the left would say, you know, maybe, you know, dark haired people, brown people, that's what the left would say. And they had Antifa that showed up. Antifa Southern California, they they called for activists to counter to counter the parents who they labeled racist hate groups. I have another piece where they're talking about the racism of these parents. Oh my gosh, the racism of Armenian and Hispanic parents.

Those racist Hispanics. I mean, it's ridiculous. Some of the parents told Daily Signal that their kids changed in locker rooms multiple times with students of the opposite sex that I mean, had their bits and pieces all over the place. Some of the parents told Daily Signal that their kids changed in locker rooms multiple times with students of the opposite sex that I mean, had their bits and pieces all hanging out in the locker room. That's a big deal. You have to think of this too.

What happens if you're like an 18 year old male in the locker room and there's a 15 year old girl in the locker room? That's a charge. Is it not?

I mean, that's that's I is that not a charge. They said 42 minutes into the meeting, the board president stopped the public comment. They said, law enforcement was locking down the building because Antifa showed up. There was no problem until Antifa showed up.

Know that. According to footage from Los Angeles networks and a lot of on site journalists, all these masked Antifa progressive protesters with their progress flags and peak bandanas showed up to antagonize the parents. They showed up to pick a fight on purpose. These people who don't have kids in this school, people who probably don't even live in this area, get called out or bust in to show up and terrorize parents and a community at the Glendale Unified School Board meeting. Because the Antifa sent out the call.

And so a physical brawl broke out. And he one of the one of the got, I guess the dad, he was dressed up as a woman. He said that the parents were hiding behind their hate. And one Glendale teacher decided to lecture the Armenian American parents. And one of them was, one of them was lecturing the parents on suppression and oppression. Oh, my gosh, I can I just say the absolute white progressive privilege of lecturing Armenians about oppression.

I can't man. See, this is why Liberty is so or education is so important to Liberty. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, they I'm like reading a whole piece, like one teacher was going off on the Armenian parents, criticizing their objection to critical race theory and diversity, equity and inclusion. Oh, my gosh.

And then they had the absolute. Oh, man, I'm not going to get through this one. This, and I'm just going to say this blonde teacher, blonde hair, blue eyed teacher, progressive communist. She's she is just lecturing in the video, the video is really hard to hear because there's a lot of objections and things like that. But she said, quote, Armenians talk about genocide, but they don't want to talk about the indigenous genocide in 1850.

And the lack of reparations for indigenous and black people in this country. Are you kidding me? Are you serious?

They talk about like, oh, just some flippant genocide. Are you serious? And it's I bet this woman votes for the party that actually enabled the Trail of Tears, the genocidal march that Democrats sent my ancestors on. Right? Pretty sure she votes for that party.

Yeah. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.