Absurd Truth: Johns Hopkins Glossary

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so this Florida Man stole a watch while he was sipping on Smirnoff Ice. He danced out of the store, and then continued the crime spree at Walmart.

Port St. Lucie, CBS 12. The man's behind bars. He stole a watch from a jewelry store. He was drinking Smirnoff Ice Paint Lemonade, and then he was dancing out the store. The suspect, Micah Rice, then went to Walmart, where he stole a 12-pack of Mic Ultra, and then Armor All and Sharpies. According to Port St. Lucie, the police say that after he stole the watch, he chugged the Smirnoff, fled in his vehicle. They identified the vehicle. They found him in the parking lot, stolen watch on his wrist. He was taken to St. Lucie County Jail.

He's being charged with grand theft. What in the world? Also like worst taste ever.

Like the Smirnoff Ice. What? Come on. Oh my gosh, I don't even know some of these people.

So this couple. Oh, here, let's do this one. I'm gonna do the Tampa Free Press one. So this is a Florida Man who cut off his ankle monitor and jumped out of his apartment window during SWAT negotiations. Corey Michael Payton has a criminal history 139 priors. What? Felonies.

Why is he out? Total of 30 felony convictions. He was arrested Sunday after he cut off his ankle monitor, barricaded himself in an apartment and then jumped out of a window.

Sumner County Sheriff's Office responded. It was like three in the morning. And it was a driver who broke into who broke into the apartments after crashing a car in one of the buildings. 44 year old Corey Michael Payton, they found him there. He was he barricaded himself inside of the apartment that he was burglarizing. They've been negotiating with him for several hours to surrender peacefully before he drove before he drove out of the second story apartment and landed on the ground.

They attempted life saving measures before they flew into trauma center by helicopter because he'd about damn near killed himself. So he, golly, they found his ankle monitor. He was on parole for burglary and on supervised release.

I guess he wasn't that supervised. So he's, he's after he's released from the hospital, he's going to jail. Man to jump out of a second.

Just take that just take the hit at that point, dude. And last but not least, a Florida man came home from a seven month trip to find a squatter in his home. This was in Marion County Sheriff's, the Marion County Sheriff's Office has this story coming out of Florida. They said that the homeowner went to New Zealand for seven months. When he came back, there was a squatter in his house.

The two got into a verbal argument. The homeowner fired a shot asking the trespasser to leave. Zamoya Brown was arrested on several charges, misdemeanor trespassing, possession of marijuana, felony possession of controlled substance. And the homeowner said that he was there for seven months in New Zealand came back, his house was trashed burglarized. And he was trying to catch the squatter. The homeowner said he slept in a closet. And when he went to sleep, he said that his alarm went off at 8pm.

And he found this squatter peeking into the room where he was lying down. And they begin to argue about who owns the house, dude, I'm going to beat you to death. That's what I'm going to show you. I'm going to beat you to death. One of the two is going to happen. There's not going to be an argument about this.

There's going to be two hits, you getting hit and then you hitting the floor. That's it. So they did get browned wide and was saying that he bought the house and he lived there for a few months.

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Johns Hopkins University. I don't know if you saw this. They're trying to rewrite what the definition of a woman in this new glossary of terms. The Baltimore Research University's alphabet glossary.

Wait, you have to have a glossary of your terms? They defined a lesbian as a non-man attracted to non-men. What's a non-man?

Yeah. And you got to say that like in a certain way. A non-man like, oh, an anonymous man. No, a non-man. This is like some serious, so I married an axe murderer, beat poetry. Woman. Whoa, man. Whoa, man.

That was a deep dive. But you have to have a glossary. So this is legit what they said. This is seriously what it is. It says they have, it's from their diversity and inclusion, their 1984 rewriting of bad think language. It says LGBTQ glossary. I'm going to read it as this. Okay. It says lesbian, sexual orientation, a non-man attracted to non-men. While past definitions refer to lesbian as a woman who is emotionally, romantically, and or sexually attracted to other women.

The updated definition includes non-born or people who may be people who may also identify with a level. Hold on, hold on. Now, okay. Yes, Steve. Thank you.

Snaps. So the gay man, he's still a dude. They just say, oh, it's a man who's emotionally, romantically, sexually, factional, irrelational attracted to other men. They don't say non-woman. They just say, oh, it's a man. It's the lesbian who is a non-man. Are you a non-man or a man?

I would hit someone I think if they asked me that. A non-man. It almost sounds like this is a Monty Python skit, but it's not. So what is so no. So you don't need a definition for man, but non-man you need this whole, well, you're not a man, you are an absence of a man, a non-man. That's what you are. So that would be a woman.

No, no, no. So why is the binary thing only applicable to the females, but not the males? Golly. So it's, it's an absence of man-ness. So you are a no, you are a non-man.

The definition was approved by this chick named Paula in the area. Oh, no, not a chick. Oh, no, it's a chick who, you know, look at this person up. This is where it gets confusing.

I'm like, your stupid made up language is dumb. Well, it says a trans identifying man. What is that even? Oh, it's a Oh, it's a totally dude is identifying as a chick. I just took one look. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah, it's a dude. It's a dude. So he's a dude. He's a he's a total dude, and he was in the Navy.

So here's this. He was he just this is the dude who came up with the definition. Oh, my gosh.

I just want to hold on to this mic thing. A dude literally redefined what women are for John Hopkins. So it was a man who was in the Navy and went into the Navy and then left the Navy so he could live authentically. So he's a dude who wrote rewrote the definition of what a woman is for Johns Hopkins. A non man.

Wow. That is misogyny. Where's now wait a minute. Where are all those old Crohn's like Diane?

What's your face? The old hit those old third, second wave and third wave feminists? What are Gloria Steinem, the Gloria Steinem? And yeah, those were all those broads at like, usually, what isn't it true? Like back in the day, if they so much got a whiff of misogyny, they would lose their minds, and they'd all start clucking.

So where are they at now? You have a dude who's literally rewriting in a medical glossary, rewriting the definition of woman as a non man, the absence of being a man, the absence of a man, this dude who clearly looks like a dude. Approved by dude.

Golly. You know what they one of the things that they also discussed, and I know, regardless of whether you know your feelings about gay, lesbian, whatever. There's like a big problem apparently with lesbians. Why do you have to say lesbian women? Being bullied and shamed if they won't get with transgender women, like men who are identified as women.

I did not realize that was a huge of a problem as it is. Or well, the dudes, the dudes are like, that's, that's, you're a bigot, you're, you're a transphobe. You're a dude, you have a penis. It's not afraid of anything that you may have.

It's just acknowledgement of what you do got. That's, oh my gosh, I can't. So what do we have birthing people, uterus havers? I mean, like, what else? Like, what else are they going to do?

This is so ridiculous. I haven't even gotten to the, you know, Cartoon Network is doing this. So they, they have a cartoon called We Baby Bears, and they're introducing they them pronouns in a new episodes.

They're teaching your kids to talk like morons. Cartoon Network. It's a cartoon for ages six and up. And it's going to air Polly's new crew. And it said that it's their old pal Polly the pirate captain. By the way, I have an ancestor who was hung off the coast of the Carolinas for piracy.

My, my culture is not your costume. Polly the pirate captain is under the effect of a pirate curse and needs help. Here's literally one of the characters lines.

You ready? I am the great Winnifred. She her actress.

What? Who talks like this? Hello, I am Dana. She her.

How are you? He him Kane? Oh, Dana. She her. We're all fine. Oh, thanks, Kane. He him.

We sound like villagers from Minecraft. It's so dumb. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So apparently frozen strawberries sold at Costco and Walmart are recalled over hepatitis A risks. Okay, maybe this is me being naive, but Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, how are you getting hepatitis on straw?

I just how is this happening? You were you were I think you were joking with me when you told me this. They said frozen strawberries sold in 32 states at big box retailers, including Costco and Walmart are being recalled due to fears over a hep A contamination. The tainted berries are still being recalled. The tainted berries are sold under the great value and raider Farms brands distributed by the Willy Med Valley fruit of Salem, Oregon.

And they said that they notified customers or they've been notifying customers. It's the frozen sliced strawberries and the frozen mixed fruit medleys and the smoothie blends. I hate smoothies.

And I hate any kind of blended fruit because it's dumb. And so I don't have any of these issues. But if you do, then there you go.

I just gave you a heads up. Oh, I don't even feel like I should explain that. It's just it's stupid.

It's liquefied fruit. I'm not gonna pretend I don't have teeth. So let's see the story. Kathy Hochul her help listen to this her healthcare bungle the bone that's called the bonus bungle could cost New York taxpayers 1.3 billion. Their taxpayers are going to get stuck with a $1.3 billion bill because the feds rejected the idea of using the Medicaid money to fund bonuses for healthcare workers, but not before some of the funds have been distributed. So she claimed the federal funding was going to cover the cost only for her administration.

And then they then they came out with a financial plan like Oh, nevermind. It's gonna be more than that. They said 613,000 people have received 1.6 billion of bonuses so far.

And they said it's the 1.3 billion hole over three years. They've they're a mess and absolute mess. And we got a lot more Starbucks is denying that they took down the pride stuff. So they're fighting with that union on Twitter. Stay with us. I think it's safe. Especially right now, when you have one side that has a maximalist commitment to tearing down every dorm and, and law they don't like. So where does that put us?

And by the way, why does it happen? I think it's happening. Because there's some people who find it easier to pick on really vulnerable young people. Then to explain why they voted no on money for roads and bridges. Okay, I I want to I want to lighten it up because it's been heavy with all the breaking news and everything the past couple days. So that is Secretary Mayor Newman, former now retired, Rear Vice Admiral Emeritus of the Camp Wimpy Tonka canoe fleet. And he's there at Time magazine in a boardroom full of too much full of themselves people. And he's explaining something about trans but then to the roads and bridges. He is one of the dumbest people in the administration. And that is really saying a lot. Welcome back to the program.

Dana lash with you listen coast to coast stream the show, watch the simulcast, YouTube, Facebook, Channel 347, DirecTV. How does how is infrastructure responsibility? For related to the trans stuff? What?

I mean, he literally I'm reading the transcript. He said it's they're, they're, they're picking on vulnerable people. By objecting to girls, having to compete with biological males in sports and that they it's happening because there are some people who find it easier than explain why they voted no on money for roads. First off, who votes no on money for roads? Who doesn't vote no on money for roads? Who votes no on money for roads?

Who did that? Are you talking about the federal bill that you guys were trying to do? That was stuff that actually happens at the state level. But I digress. Is that what he's talking about? It's like going and and yeah, it did pass the whole stupid thing passed. What is he talking about? Diversity hire secretary diversity hire. So we're calling him now I'm done. But it he makes it sound like if you did not want a boondoggle blank check.

You know, fun for I mean, really what filling doing this is some of the a lot of the stuff that they were trying to do. I mean, that's handled at state level in terms of like your interest. You're not you're not interstate roads. But what does that have to do with trans you voted against roads? Why do you hate the trans people? Everything is about hating trans now. If you don't do something the left wants you to do then you must hate trans you don't like roads and bridges.

Why do you hate trans? It's what that's what they're doing. I'm trying to understand this in the mental Olympics here. He was called pothole Pete by his own constituents. So how does he reconcile that? He really was he was called pothole Pete when he was mayor of South Bend, Indiana. The only place where he could have ever gotten elected to anything, which is why he's moving wasn't he moved to Michigan. So he can he thinks he's got so funny. He thinks he's got a future after this so funny. Well, it's cuz you know, it's easier than explain why they voted no on money for roads.

Super Susie. Oh, my gosh. pothole Pete has nothing to do with the issue.

Nothing to men and women are different. I can't even believe we got to sit here and explain this stuff. His jobs are transportation. I mean, just because there's trans in transportation doesn't mean that that's like the invitation to talk about trans issues. Right? While you're supposed to be talking about your roads, and you've got one job just deal with transportation, but it says trans.

The first five letters are trans. I bet honestly, that's what he wouldn't doubt if that's what he believes. So we were talking about the I have to tell you something funny to happen on break, because we really should honestly do a whole entire radio show just some as to what we do on break. So I went back to the strawberry story because I'm like, how? Because they had that that recall of the frozen strawberries from like Costco and you know, HEB and all this stuff, because of the the suspected fears of hepatitis A, whatever contamination. I'm like, they're frozen. How does it live?

If they're frozen? And then I'm like, how does it get all over there? And Kane told me one thing, and I'm like, no way. And then Lorraine's in the in Slack, she moderates the YouTube discussion. She's like, Yeah, basically, someone does a deuce and they don't wash their hands. Like you're, if you're dealing with food, how do you do? How does that happen? You just go?

No, stop it. You're just do that. You go and then you handle some strawberries.

How does that even happen? I can't if I'm in a restaurant, this is what we were talking about this. If I'm in a restaurant, and I see, I don't know how you guys handle this every now and then, ladies, gents, you're in a restroom facility at a public place, you know, usually it's a restaurant. And someone will exit after being in a straw. I'm not talking about just coming in and looking at their hair.

They will exit and not wash their hands. And I asked Kane, how do you handle that situation? And Kane's like, well, I just avoid them. I turn into a human alarm. I can't deal.

It is one. I mean, I almost have like a reflexive vomit response to that. And this is like handling berries. Like if you're, Kane's like, I'll be, I'll just say things like, wow, would you look at that? They just wiped their butt.

They're going out into the restaurant. I mean, I'm, I totally will do that. I have done it. I'm, because it's nasty.

Yeah. And to answer your question about hep A, if it dies in freezing temperatures, uh, hep A exposure to freezing temperatures, hep A does not die at all. As a matter of fact, it can survive outside the body for months. So to get rid of hep A, you have to heat something at 185 degrees Fahrenheit for one minute, at least. Like they can't get no like Purell where they're by the berries or something like that.

I didn't read anything about Purell. I just, I could spend an inordinate amount of time on this discussion, but oh my gosh, I just, I had to come back to that for a second because Lorraine was, she just said exactly what you did, except she was more direct. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lashes, absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.