Absurd Truth: Gays For Space

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.

Okay, so we have two of them for you that are just ring-a-ding-ding. First up, the NBC affiliate here in Port Orange, WFLA. A Florida Man was found hiding in a tree Tuesday of this week, two hours after he fled Port Orange police. 33-year-old Jonathan Kaiser was accused of speeding away from police during an attempted traffic stop. They tried to use stop sticks to damage the Nissan Maximus tires. This is in Volusia County. The aerial unit found the vehicle in the backyard where Kaiser and his other passenger Caitlin McCartney, 31, abandoned it. McCartney was arrested nearby.

She was charged with resisting without violence, possession of paraphernalia, probation violation. They had to call the K-9 unit to search the area for Kaiser. They found him hiding two hours later up an oak tree, a big oak tree.

So they have body camera footage. They were telling him, calm down, get out of the tree, don't run away, or they're going to send the K-9 after him. So he moved down towards the end of the branch appearing to run away in the tree, as one officer described it on the radio. He said, quote, he's literally in a tree right now trying to climb it like Tarzan. And Kaiser was caught on camera. And this is the just the chef's kiss, failing to swing from run one branch to the other. He dropped to the ground, trying to swing to the other branch and then fell to the fell to the ground, tried to run away from officers, but K-9 Draco subdued him along with the handler.

He was taken to Volusia County Jail where he was charged with fleeing or attempting to elude. And the the amazing thing is that it's on video. God bless technology. It is on video. He hung from the branch for a second, realized he wasn't going to make it couldn't stay couldn't keep hold of the branch.

I mean, it is just chef's kiss. In the air, and then he fell. I'm surprised he didn't break his bones. And then of course, we got this guy in Naples. A drunk man caused total chaos after he broke into the Naples Police Department.

Total chaos. Joseph Moulton, 36 years old, jumped the fence at the south parking lot, went inside and unlocked patrol cruiser. He sat for a few minutes until he saw people come outside. Then he hid in the bushes and took action. According to the police report, he used the nozzle of a water hose, shoved it underneath the door before turning the water on, causing an inch of flood damage. He went to the men's locker room, took a shower, helped himself to clothing. And then he took a uniform, shirt, pants, cap, bulletproof vest worth $900. Then he defecated on the women's bathroom floor and dumped a police radio in the toilet. It wasn't until he got to the 7-Eleven outside that they were suspicious. And they thought he was under the influence as well.

They called Naples police and he was arrested. That's the KF-7. It's ready for home defense, back country hiking, or anywhere you need a compact 12-gauge shotgun. The KF-7 is lightweight with a magazine capacity of 6-plus-1, or 7-plus-1 depending on shell size, easy to handle with rear loading and downward ejection and standard carry handle that doubles as a sighting solution. Every KF-7 produced at Kel-Tec is made in the USA by a team who takes pride in their work and believes in respect, family, and the right to bear arms. Every KF-7 comes with a lifetime warranty with proof of the KF-7.

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Secure your world with Kel-Tec, Kel-TecWeapons.com. Since January of this year, more than 400 anti-LGBTQ plus laws have been introduced at the state level. That number is rising and demonstrates a trend that could be dangerous for service members, their families, and the readiness of the force as a whole. When I look at potential candidates, say for squadron command, I strive to match the right person to the right job. I consider their job performance and relevant experience first. However, I also look at their personal circumstances and their family is also an important factor. If a good match for a job does not feel safe being themselves and performing at their highest potential at a given location, or if their family could be denied critical health care due to the laws in that state, I am compelled to consider a different candidate and perhaps less qualified. So she's basically threatening everyone. Well, I have to consider a less qualified candidate. Yeah, you're the military. This woman should be dragged off the stage and she should be court-martialed. Yeah, that's Space Force right there. Tell me again why nobody's enlisting.

She's the Space Force Chief Operating Officer, Lieutenant General Deanna Burt. Will I consider? No, here's all you got to consider. Can they fight? Can they get the hell over themselves?

This isn't a place to make up for the attention you didn't get from Mommy and Daddy. Okay, it's the military. Can you go out and fight? That's it. You have to be part of one force. That is it. Golly, I get so tired of this.

And you wonder why people, I mean, Space Force could be something super cool, but instead now you got this. It is just, it's insane. And she's like, oh, well, I because it sounds like a threat. Honestly, when she sits here and says things like, well, I might have to hire someone less qualified. I mean, am I over analyzing that? No, that's what she said. Yeah.

She literally said she would go for people less qualified. Oh, my gosh. This is craziness. Welcome back to the program, by the way, Dana Lash, here with you, your lovable curmudgeon. And this last topic, this last hour, third hour here, Friday.

Now, this is what it, how does your gender help? I mean, this whole thing, like Air Force has done it, all these people have done it. And I just, I keep thinking back to, and it's like one of the coolest scenes. So it was right back as the Battle of Thermopylae, and this was in Zack Snyder's 300. I know it's like, somewhat fictionalized.

But what is this? What was his name? The betrayal of Leonidas. He was the guy, at least in Zack Snyder's 300.

Remember the guy who had, he was, you know, he had a birth deformity. And he couldn't raise his shield, and he was very limited in what he could do. And he desperately wanted to, in the film, and by the way, that apparently was based on something which was historical about the betrayal of Leonidas and how Xerxes army was able to find a path or like a goat herders path around and be able to come up from behind. But long story short, in that scene, Leonidas was talking to one of his subordinates, and they were, they were discussing, you know, how to prepare for the onslaught. And that's when, you know, this, this character, this guy came up and desperately had wanted to, he'd followed them out there, he wanted to serve Leonidas, he wanted to be a Spartan, and Leonidas says, Okay, well, how high can you hold your shield, hold your shield. And he struggled, like he was really struggling to just even barely hold it up. And he couldn't, he couldn't thrust, you know, as well as the other Spartan soldiers. And Leonidas was saying, you know, this is all very admirable, and I appreciate what you want to do, but I cannot have any weak links.

If you cannot, if you cannot hold your shield up, that means someone else is made vulnerable, because you cannot perform that task. And a vulnerability, that's a weakness and that that's an opening to defeat. And he's like, we can't have that. And it doesn't have anything to do with, you know, affirmation or political correctness. Why should everyone else have to sacrifice their safety and everything in that particular scene, because someone else wanted to feed their ego.

I mean, part of life is recognizing the realities of it. And so in that scene, Leonidas was like, I'm not folding on this, you know, you can help me in other ways, but you can't do this. And so that guy got all mad and he went to Xerxes and betrayed him.

And then, you know, the rest is history. And so this, I apply the same thing here with regard to military and the Space Force commander, this head of Space Force here. I was just asking, DeSantis tweeted out, my administration will never promote military leaders who abuse their power to push a woke ideology. Nation needs to focus on military readiness and not an ideological agenda.

And that's true, because that's what this general is doing. Lieutenant General Deanna Burt, that's exactly what she's doing, is focusing on this and that the statement that she made there at the end, well, you know, I'd have to select someone who's less qualified. Hmm.

Hmm. Like I'm looking at her career. She's the first woman to hold the rank of major general in the United States Air Force. And, you know, I'm just looking back over her career. She was in Nevada and Virginia. And she's got the command space operations badge, the space staff badge. She's done a lot of she was in Germany for a little bit. I mean, obviously, she hasn't seen combat. Oh, I got some opinions you're not gonna like.

Can you guess what they are? Okay. Well, I like them, though. You do.

Some people will be like, you're so sexist. Confused me. Yeah, I think if you can't serve in combat, you shouldn't be sending soldiers to combat. What is the fastest growing international crime network that the world has ever seen? It's already passed the illegal arms trade and soon it will pass the drug trade because someone can sell a bag of cocaine one time, but they can sell a child five to ten times per day. On July 4th, witness the gripping reality of true heroism in the film Sound of Freedom from Angel Studios. The force behind His Only Son and The Chosen comes an extraordinary true story of courage and redemption.

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It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So this is NBC New York. New Zealand police fined over $150 million worth of meth hidden in Canadian maple syrup and canola oil. What are you Canadians up to?

Authorities from Australia, Canada and New Zealand said they worked together for more than five months to unravel the elaborate scheme and it was worth billions of dollars. A drug syndicate they tried to smuggle all this meth from Canada. Wait.

Okay. I don't I know that they have drugs there. But this is very uncharacteristic of Canadians.

Just want to say I thought you people were polite and pure and wholesome. They said the drugs, except for the ones that try to go after the truckers, not you. The drug syndicate that tried to smuggle tons of meth from Canada, Australia, New Zealand, hiding it and all this. They've been busted.

They had to have three countries that worked together. They had 2,900 liters of liquid meth. I didn't even know you could liquefy it. I actually don't know how what it is, but it's like substance. Liquid meth? Hey, southern fried punk rock band name. Liquid meth. You would wear that shirt.

You know you would. So yeah, we have that. Okay. So they've been doing this for quite some time. Liquid meth.

Okay. Also, Newsweek has a story. Russian ships collide after the captain gets drunk. Two oil tankers collided in Russia's Irkutsk region Tuesday after a captain became intoxicated, said authorities, and caused a spillage of fuel into a local river.

Igor Kobzeff, the region's governor, introduced a state of emergency in the Kerensky district after the vessels collided. They don't know how much spilled, but they said that it's the world's 11th longest river, so it's pretty bad. And it was a bunch of LNG, the tanker Rudolf Semolovic, sailing under the flag of the Bahamas. And they said there's an oil slick resulting from that. And they said the captain was totally drunk. They did tests. They said he was totally drunk. He was just drunk.

And they need a legal assessment. Boy, there's like so many jokes and stereotypes here. Oh, by the way, Meghan Markle, didn't she get an award from the Gracie people? Yeah, the Gracie, totally not a popularity contest or a political greasing of the palms entity at all. But she got this big female broadcaster award. Well, Spotify canceled her podcast because it was a very poorly unreceived second season. They said she wasn't doing enough work. So they said that they didn't produce enough content, her and that ginger, the suitcase girl and the ginger, to get their $20 million payout. And so she's canceled.

I mean, yeah, she doesn't even understand what an archetype is. I mean, yeah, stick with us. We've got more in store. Nordstrom is leaving San Francisco. They're closing up shop. They're one of the latest but they're a huge business that's they're closing both of their San Francisco locations. And the off the rack, the Nordstrom rack. Wait, it's like sex off the rack fifth Nordstrom rack, they're they're closing that one too.

According to the San Francisco standard, that's about 357,000 square feet. So they're closing these stores, they're not renewing its lease obligations. And they said that the what the reason that they cited was a deteriorating situation. I mean, which meant Oh my gosh, the crime and vagrancy is out of control.

feces and needles everywhere. As far as the eye can see. They said they're done. They're they're done dealing with it.

So they're leaving. That's like the 20th business that's left and what the past like year and a half, almost two years now, I guess. The Nordstrom pipeline?

Whole Foods left? Yeah, the Nordstrom pipeline that Corinne Jean-Pierre believes exists. Not the Nord stream. No, no, no. The Nordstrom. So it's like when you order on Nordstrom, like all your stuff comes in the pipeline. Whole Foods shut down. Now think about this.

This is San Francisco. What do you think now? Normally, I when I would ask this, if I would ask this like 10 years ago, or five years ago. Your answer would be different.

If I say what do you think of now if I were to ask you 10 years ago, then what would you think? You know, the other thing to hippie I blame the old hippies there. I think there's a difference in type of hippie. By the way, we have some of our audience includes and I'm going to say it because it's how they identify themselves, boomer hippies. But they always insist that they're the good boomer hippies.

Which I believe this. I believe some of the hippies are actually classical liberals like Tocqueville, and they want to be left alone. They want to organically farm and they want to drink on pasteurized milk and they want to do whatever they want to do. They want to weave their sandals out of hemp.

That's fine. They want to live their lives and not bother nobody. Then you got these hippies that gave birth to the like neo Puritan hippies. They're not even hippies anymore.

And they want the man in every aspect of their lives. By the way, think about this for a minute. Because I don't really necessarily think this is a Gen X thing. Gen X was you were used to being overlooked, forgotten about. And I think it's like millennials, younger millennials, not, you know, older millennials, but younger millennials. How do you go from being a hippie boomer because a lot of the millennials were from younger boomers? How do you go from like being the hippie, you know, hippie generation to raising the antithesis of that? Like you are against the man, but now you want more of the man?

How does that happen? That fascinates me, actually, from a sociological perspective. And I think too, I'd add to that, I think that the rebelling against your parents isn't because you just are trying to be an activist or something. I think it's you're trying to find your identity, kids trying to find their identity.

They want to define themselves. Like for instance, my husband and I, you know, we're retired goth kids. And my younger son likes to wear black, and he has more of the aesthetic of us than my older son does.

My older son thinks it's ridiculous. And he's just like, I am so not into that. Like he's very, my younger one, when he was a lot younger, his rebellion was to basically try to be Alex P. Keaton, both visually and he is him mentally. But he was like very suit and hat.

Like he was very, now he's more of our aesthetic, way more. But when he was younger, that was how he rebelled. He was a prep.

I didn't know how to deal with that. He would come home and ask because he would like he would do stuff with his friends on the weekends. And then they because they have a uniform at school. And he would be like, Oh, his like friends would have like a preppy kind of shirt.

And I don't know, it was like some prep brand. I don't even know where to get those clothes. I literally buy what I'm wearing right now I got for free at my gun range. And you I wear black t shirts all the time because I buy them in bulk. I, in some ways, I'm like the dream shopper. I buy t shirts in bulk in black. And when I want to dye them, when when they start to fade, throw them in a top loader with dye there.

You're welcome. Because I hate buying the same thing. I literally will wear the same thing over and over again. Because I cannot stand. I can't stand trying to figure that stuff out. It's annoying. I hate shopping. I hate it to death. I just want to wear the same thing every day and I'd be happy. But you guys would complain. I hear that.

I hear it. You're like, Why don't you wear some color? Because I can't dress myself. And I won't wear it. That's myself.

And I won't hire a stylist. That's why. So anyway, long story short, kids rebel. I get it. And so he now he's not like that.

So I guess that to your point came, they decided to go and be little minions of the man, because their parents were very opposite that. Gosh, they have to be disappointed. There's certain things I just wouldn't allow, right? I just won't allow on my house. I would not have a lot. I gotta say I would not have allowed it to get that far. I'd be like, that's detrimental to your well being.

Knock it off. Like I taught my kid about taxes, like when we gave when they would do work around the house, because I told you I didn't give allowances. And I would literally they'd have to write the little check and they'd come to the bank of mom and I would give them after I took taxes out. And they were appalled. And I'm like, that's taxes.

I'm like, don't vote Democrat then. That's how I ran my and they were like, but that's how we did it. Some of my some of my their friends parents thought I was nuts. But you know what, now look at them.

Mm hmm. They're very responsible kids. They understand money. You can't expect that reality from media. Exactly. But there's certain things I just will not allow. You know, I told my kids, I'm like, I'm not going to tell you who to vote for. But if you vote for someone that raises my taxes, if you vote for CRT and DEI, I will take it out on you in terms of how you are supported. That will expedite how soon you are out on your ass in the real world.

There are consequences to elections. That's what I've told them. I'm like, I'm not going to tell you how to vote. But I'll know. Because you are horrible liars.

I will know. So there's just some things I won't allow. Like if I was a boomer, I would kick the crap out of my kid if they were going to turn into like a minion for the man.

If they're going to go out there, we want more government. Shut up. Oh my gosh, I would have beaten you to death in the street.

No way. There's just certain things I just will not allow because I'm the parent. It's a mom tatership. There's no freedom in this house. This isn't a republic.

I don't even acknowledge that it's a democracy. Come on. I just don't understand how the old hippies got millennial. Steve, you're the only one we like. I don't get it. How does this happen? Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.