Absurd Truth: Independence Day Edition

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast. Sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Man, I've got, I don't even know what this is.

First, let me start with doing something weird. I'm telling you, Portland Man is giving Florida Man a run for his money. Let me read this headline. A Portland pastry chef mauled by off-leash dog, dog's handler promptly OD's on fentanyl. It's a pastry chef, this isn't Portland, recovering after being attacked by a dog on Monday of this week.

Cheryl Wakerhauser owns Pics Patisserie. She says she was out on a run along Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard. She was attacked and mauled by a dog. She reports the dog was off-leash in a parking lot. The dog grabbed her leg, attacked her legs and arm.

She has 35 puncture wounds. So then she caught the eye of a driver who turned around and honked her horn to scare the dog off. She says at the same time that happened, a man with a leash walked up, said it wasn't his dog and then led the dog away.

Another witness followed the man and the dog, led police to them. And then while this was all happening, apparently the guy who owns the dog, who was there apparently OD's on fentanyl. He literally ate fentanyl while the police were taking the dog. He tried to run away. And then got a couple steps away and ate fentanyl.

And then OD'd immediately. I don't know. I just, I don't know, man. That's, there's, that was ABC Channel 2 in Portland. That's a real story.

Oh, let's see. So we got this, a Cape Coral man fell through the attic while hiding from police. He was, cops arrived. This was at a 28 year old's residence, Daniel Flores. They knocked on the door.

Lee County Sheriff's Office. They got no answer. They saw, there was a, the sister said she saw him go into the attic. Detectors knocked on the door. They tried to speak with him. He had an active warrant for his arrest that they were serving. And they waited for like an hour and a half. No response.

He was still in the attic. And then he literally fell through. Took their fan down and everything. Fell through. He got cut up a little bit and they took him into custody.

That's never, why do people think that they're going to hide from police? There was a, Golly, we may have to come back to this one because this woman is crazy. This Florida woman tried to run over her ex. She got shot at.

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News just now spread. Okay, I have a problem with that. It's not, that's not a good thing. Because it's equity is not what equality is. And as I've explained before, this is a very Marxist principle. It's critical theory. And at the heart of equity is discrimination because you have to have discrimination for equity. Equality is against that. So I, I think, I mean, it's disappointing to see this and I don't know why. Yeah, just be about quality.

I mean, I have these cane notes. I have these questions too. Why can't you just be like, we serve everybody as we always have with quality. The end. All this DEI stuff is, is branding of the sheep herd. That's what it is. DEI, diversity, equity, inclusion. And I don't know why we keep having to affirm the same stuff over and over again.

But then I was thinking about this too, because, I mean, this is just Chick-fil-A. I mean, this is the entity that, I mean, conservatives protested for. And so that statement that I just read to you that came out in 2021. And a lot of people, I guess, really hadn't known that they were, they have this, you know, Marxist DEI statement, and they were doing all of this stuff. And then it came out, do you remember, and I remember seeing this right when it first came out, and I thought it was performative.

I think that some people genuinely have a heart and they want to make this demonstration of treating everyone equally, but sometimes it looks pandering and contrived. And it's this video where, where's this at? This is, it's a flashback, this flashback video, where, which Kathy was it, who is the Chick-fil-A CEO, he sent out shoeshine packages to store managers to remind them about, you know, contrition and humility and, you know, to, I guess, to atone for historical participation in slavery. And he was giving this speech and he got up and was like, started washing the shoes of this other dude on stage. And the other dude on stage did not look humbled. He looked like, wow, this is really, it seemed performative. Listen to this audio soundbite nine.

Flashback. I invite folks just to put some words to action here. And if we need to find somebody that needs to have their shoeshine, we need to just go right on over and shine their shoes.

And whether they got tennis shoes on or not, maybe they got sandals on, it really doesn't matter. But there's a time which we need to have, you know, some, some personal action here. Maybe we need to give them a hug too. And some stock in Chick-fil-A.

I bought about 1500 of these. This kind of goes along with the line. I had a conversation with Max Lucado once, and he was roommates with the pastor at our church. And I always believe in, you know, talking to people privately and going about it, you know, the New Testament way. But I had been, and I wrote a piece about it at the time, I was upset because he was getting in, Lucado was getting into some of this DEI stuff when he was making remarks during lockdown in his sermons. And I, it made me angry. And so I called him up. And, you know, he, we spoke for a bit. And I said, you know, I realized, you know, we come from different generations, and we grew up in very different parts of the country. And I explained to him, you have to realize that I don't know what kind of life you've lived, or what you've experienced, or what other people have experienced because of your actions.

This is, you know, what you're talking about what people have to atone for. This is kind of a foreign concept to a lot of people in my generation who never, we didn't pay attention to that because it didn't exist for us. We didn't know differences. We didn't know any of that. It wasn't pushed up on us. And it definitely wasn't weaponized politically, and pushed upon us as it is now. And I told him, I said, when you're asking people to assume culpability in something that they had no part in, it creates resentment.

And is that not creating a hurdle for other people? And we had a very in-depth conversation. And I get the same feeling watching this stuff. And so I see this, you know, Chick-fil-A made this higher. I do think that this is different than, you know, Bud Light or Target or Kohl's because they're not, they're not, you know, obviously not doing the same thing that they're doing.

They're not advertising for the love of all things holy here, you know, tuck swimsuits, good heavens. But it is DEI. And DEI is based in Marxist critical theory.

I've written about this for over 10 years. That is a theory based on hatred and division. It is antithetical to Christian teaching.

DEI is antithetical to Christianity, period, because it teaches you that there are, I mean, it's like the Klan wrote it. It demands that you acknowledge these differences and you live your life accordingly and that certain people must be given certain things. You have to employ discrimination in order to have equal outcomes instead of having a level playing field. Everybody gets an opportunity, you might have different outcomes. Different outcomes are not allowed with equity.

That's the difference between equity and equality. And it's, this is, it's anti biblical nonsense. And it kind of shocks me that a company that is so proud about its faith would incorporate something like this as part of their mission statement. And I do think that Chick-fil-A and their CEOs and the Kathy family should absolutely address that.

If you're people of faith, I think you should and I think you have an obligation to especially since you've made such a public show of it. And I don't think that that is in any way a ridiculous demand. Now to that point, if I was a strategist for Marxist theory, I would want to make my opponents turn on each other. I would want, you know, Chick-fil-A, for instance, is sort of an avatar brand, if you will, of conservatism, is it not? I mean, isn't that why you had, who is it, Rahm Emanuel, who didn't want to Chick-fil-A in Chicago saying that their values aren't Chicago values? And I'm like, I guess it's not about gangs and drugs and shooting.

I don't know. And you had leaders in New York City say the same thing. In Austin, didn't they try to drive Chick-fil-A out of an airport in Austin?

I mean, it's Jesus chicken. That's how they look at it. If I were a strategist for Marxist critical theory for wokery, I would want conservatives to turn on the brands that they identify as being part of them and other people identify as being part of them.

I would want to foster a sense of betrayal, knives out, and I would want them to go at each other's throats. Now, I don't know why Chick-fil-A felt the need to do this. I know that they are privately owned company, but I do know that their banks and suppliers and everything else, they may not be.

And ESG is a very real thing, environmental social governance standard. So even if they are privately owned company, that still plays into this. And I think that if you make conservatives turn on an avatar of their business, then I think that really exceeds the expectations of the Marxists that I think have created this environment to where in which Chick-fil-A feels the need to release a statement like this.

So I think that we need to be very careful in how we deal with this. This is not the same. I don't think that this is the same thing as Bud Light.

I don't think it's the same thing as Target. I think it's one thing to sell children's clothes with images that affirm adult sexual practices. And I think it's another thing to have a statement like this. Now, I'm not saying I support this at all. I just told you I thought it was unChristian. I don't know how I can be more harsh in my criticism of it. But I do think that it's entirely different. And I think that we need to take that into account in how we deal with this. And I think that we owe each other the opportunity here to make that explanation just as we level our criticism.

I think that they also owe us, because we have stuck up for them so much, an explanation as to why they feel this is the best move forward and how they think that Marxist DEI fits in with Christian principles. The KS-7 from Kel-Tec might be short and slim on the outside, but it's long under the hood with its 18 and a half inch barrel packed into its bullpup design. It's ready for home defense, backcountry hiking, or anywhere you need a compact 12-gauge shotgun. The KS-7 is lightweight with a magazine capacity of six plus one or seven plus one, depending on shell size, easy to handle with rear loading and downward ejection and standard carry handle that doubles as a sighting solution. Every KS-7 produced at Kel-Tec is made in the USA by a team who takes pride in their work and believes in respect, family, and the right to bear arms.

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Kel-TecWeapons.com. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So Apple, in its new update, they're going to stop auto-correcting words I can't say on air, including the word that is often changed to duck-ing. I'm just saying, because you all don't know this because you're angels, aren't you? You're purest of hearts and motives. You have no idea what I'm talking about. You're so innocent.

Look at you, all innocent out there in radio land. They said that sometimes if you want to type a word, your keyboard doesn't go along with it. Apple's Senior Vice President of Software Engineering said, yes, they're finally... I mean, it's only been 11,000 years, right? They're finally on it. I mean, I guess I'm sure there's probably some more important stuff, but nobody cares. This...

I don't know. When I see the phrase deadly bacteria, I get a little nervous. So then I see the CDC says something and then I immediately don't believe it.

So where do I fall on this? Deadly bacteria that kills up to 50% of patients is now endemic to U.S. Gulf Coast, says CDC, a year after it was first detected in the country. So an epidemiologist, Dr. Julia Petras, made the warning. It's called... You ready? Burkholderia Pseudomale.

Sounds right, yeah? It's likely lurking in soil and stagnant water across the 1,600 miles from Texas to Florida. They said that people infected with it suffer meloidiosis, a severe condition that can trigger pneumonia, sepsis, and can be fatal. Doctors say they're on alert for the disease. It can initially be misdiagnosed as another infection. I don't know what... I mean, can you kill it with antibiotics?

Like what's the... I mean, so it's just like stagnant water, right? Essentially like moist soil. That's your favorite word. And stagnant water, right? That's kind of what it is. I don't like any of those things anyway. So just avoid those, right?

That seems like the smartest thing to do. This is really wild. New York Post says nearly 30 children are reported missing in Cleveland during the first two weeks of May in an extraordinary surge. 30. Nearly 30. Just in the first two weeks of May in Cleveland. They said it's extraordinary.

They don't have any... There's no record of this like to this extent happening before. 27 kids went missing between May 2nd and May 16th as Newburgh Heights Police Chief John Maggiore warned that the disappearance have reached unprecedented levels in 2023.

He says there's always peaks and valleys but this year it seems like a pretty extraordinary year. We're seeing a lot more than we normally see. We don't know if it's trafficking or if they're involved in gang activity or drugs or what it is. He said the majority of the cases are runaways but he feared some of them could have been victims of predators whom he likened to wolves in sheep's clothing.

That's horrible and terrifying and I really feel for those families. A new study finds that being happily married prevents working men from burnout. I get it because they have a family and a wife and all that or whatever to attend to and they're not going to be burning themselves out at work. That makes sense. It's the National Research University Higher School of Economics. And a virologist hunting mystery coronavirus strain in Ohio wastewater suspects one individual has been affected for two plus years. Like consistently had it for two plus years. So NBC, actually San Francisco Chronicle, NBC had a thing on it too. There's an editorial about how if you don't like bicyclists, you might be like racist also. And I'm like, wait, what? I mean, I tweeted about this yesterday. I saw this piece, San Francisco Chronicle. I have to share the story with you. It's so ridiculous.

And welcome back, Dana Lashier. They write, quote, Ultimately, hate of bicyclists comes from the same place as racism, sexism, homophobia, and transphobia, a desire to cling to the status quo power arrangements that favor some over others. Somebody thought that was smart to write. They say, oh, hate is dangerous, including against bicyclists. And the thought occurred to me, apparently not to them, though, that it can never be because they are annoying as hell when they try to act like cars without following the rules of the road, as per law.

This has nothing to do with any of this. I will never forget like when it was like, I think the first summer that we had moved to Texas. And there are a lot of roundabouts in Texas. Texas has a lot of rainy day money, and they are obsessed with road improvements. I've never seen anyone so obsessed with road improvements. They love roundabouts. And if you bring it up on any like town Facebook page, what you're going to hear is somebody going, Yeah, well, there's these studies done on roundabouts.

And as it turns out, they're actually like really, they reduce accidents and all this stuff. Okay, whatever. But I got to tell you, I mean, it was my our first summer living here in Texas, and I was on my way to the ball field with one of my kids. He played baseball throughout the summer. I was on my way to the ball field and was going to one of the one of the big parks, the ball fields where everybody met at. And you have to go through a roundabout to get there.

Right. And I saw a bicyclist coming the opposite way. And there were a long line of cars behind her. And she literally thought I guess that she did not have to obey the rules of the road. She created sheer chaos in that roundabout.

People were honking slamming on their brakes. I there were almost two accidents, she almost gets hit. Because she just goes right in the middle of it.

Yeah, I mean, if you're in the road, acting like a car, you have to follow the rules of the road and you have to give way all that other stuff. She didn't do that. She literally pedaled right out in front of a truck. The truck slammed on their brakes, the person that was going behind him had to slam on their brakes.

I mean, it was craziness. And then after she goes through the roundabout, she's passing me, she gets up on the sidewalk. Because there are bike trails and sidewalks everywhere, but she didn't want to take any of those. I'm like, I don't think you can do that, right?

There's not. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen that happen. I have I cannot tell you how many times I've seen bicyclists before I was behind a car turning into the Kroger actually, here in the town I live in, I was behind a car, there was a bicyclist that was coming up. They were turning and they literally had like the red, like if you're a pedestrian going to cross that road, there's times and you can cross and times and you can't, right? So they were not allowed to cross at that point.

The vehicle behind me had total right away. And they were turning but the bicyclist didn't think that they had to stop. And he stopped and punched the vehicle, stopped on the sidewalk and hit the vehicle. There was clearly a red, like you can't walk right now. I guess because he thought he was on a bicycle. And then the car in front of me drove up a little bit and pulled over because when someone, he didn't know this guy punched his car. It sounded like somebody, I mean, I'm sure it sounded like somebody like hit them. And I'm like behind here.

I didn't even go. I'm like, what is happening? It's like a whole new breed down here.

What is happening? Now I've seen some bicyclists that totally follow the rules of the road. They know what, but I've seen a lot that don't. And those are the people that make everybody hate bicyclists. And I'm not going to apologize for because they almost get people killed.

Oh my gosh. So that has nothing to do with race or homophobia or sexism, San Francisco Chronicle. It's because you have to follow the rules of the road if you're driving.

If you're in a car, a bike, whatever. They have a victimhood fetish. Everything is because it's because I'm a victim. It couldn't possibly be just because, you know, we're aggravated at the people who don't know how to properly ride bicycles out in public.

But you know what, if they have to make it about identity politics so that they don't have to take any accountability. By the way, have you noticed? I have a theory. You want to hear my theory? I think that all of the bad bicyclists are leftists. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.