Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec.
It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so first step here. Man, these things are everywhere. So a bus driver, this is in Tampa, took a picture of an actual, not a little, I don't, I didn't mean to say a little, of an alligator waiting at a bus stop at Newport Ritchie. Imagine you had to get on that. Imagine you have to take the bus. It's legit right at the bus stop where you have to get on the bus. It's waiting there because it knows you get on there. It's gonna be it's gonna be getting you. That's what it's doing. It's waiting there because it's seeing people get on the bus. And it's waiting.
It's a smart one. Gator buffet. Yeah, so Pasco County bus driver took a picture of it. A little gator there waiting in the grass. He's growing gator.
He needs some proteins. So the bus driver arrived at the bus stop and saw it. So they took a picture. I mean, that's terrifying. Terrifying. They're absolutely everywhere. That's not the only one.
So this story Pensacola. Another man in the head with a machete. Andrew James Ryder entered the Old Hickory Whiskey Bar around 9pm pulled out the machete and struck the victim. Wait, I'm... How do you pull out the machete? It's a machete.
How is that? Are you concealed carrying the machete? And if so, how? I'm wondering how that's happening. So they when officers responded to the scene, he was still carrying the machete. They said he's still carrying the machete.
They still had it. They told him to drop the weapon. He refused. So they tased him and detained him without further incident. He had no ID, wouldn't identify himself. They took him to the hospital and then they because he had some injuries from the scuffle. And then they took him to jail.
He's held without bond, according to Pensacola PD. No motive, nothing. Just, you know, he's mad.
He's gonna hit somebody with his machete. This is wild. I don't understand people. This another one.
I'll be damned. So a Florida man was bitten by a shark. But he was more concerned about his vape. So there's a video where a Florida man is at the beach and he says, Yeah, I'm going to make my way to the ambulance. And he's riding in this little golf course. And he's got a baby shark and he's holding it like it's a baby because it latched onto his bicep, and it will not let go.
But he was just chill and he wanted his vape. And they were trying to get this thing off of him. They had EMT.
They had fish and wildlife They had everybody there. They and I mean when they look did you see when they lift up the thing's mouth? It's it's not thing. I know it's shark teeth. But man, it looked like a vampire biting his bicep off It was a little nurse shark and they said the guy goes well Here's the question. They asked him this they go. Well, what did you do to get attacked? He goes on, you know, I just took the shark and spun it around.
Yeah, that'll do it slick. That'll do it So it bit him and they were able to finally The medics were able to save the Sharks live and also the man's arm. So it was a win-win, but don't do that Don't be like spinning stuff Don't be going in nature and spinning sharks in their house because they don't like that and they're gonna bite you like why do people? Do that, but it was you know, it didn't say whether or not he had to have like stitches or anything like that I would imagine that he did because did you see a shark's teeth? Oh my gosh this I pull this up I've got a couple of other ones some of my can't read some of them are like animal stories that make me sad and I Don't want to read them.
Let's see this guy Yeah, yeah, yeah there was there was Hold on. I'm pulling this up because it was funny. I had this one There was a Fort Myers Chipotle That you know how you gonna get on Yelp and you can review things on Yelp Okay, so in Florida There's a Fort Myers Chipotle and there's one review that went up there and it's now famous apparently for more than just burritos Numerous people went on Yelp and began reviewing it saying there's a husband stealing Employee named Lucy who works there and she's stealing all y'all's husbands is what's happening? Literally the Yelp accusations started a month ago with reviews like quote don't send your husband's there to pick up Chipotle Next thing you knew next thing, you know Lucy's gonna seduce them like she has with multiple married men all kinds of comments quote These are actual comments Lucy's a pig.
She slept with my husband too. They're guacamole is also bad. I Mean they're real particular there folks Do you believe in our founders vision for America that our Republic will only survive if we are an educated and informed? People who know our rights and duties since 1844 Hillsdale College has sought to educate all who wish to learn about these timeless principles of self-government for more than 50 years The college has worked to spread that mission by sending in Primus their Digest of Liberty to millions of Americans including me and Primus feature some of the best speeches given at Hillsdale events and now an audio version of the popular speech digest is available in a new podcast of the same name and like the printed publication in Primus the podcast is always free You can hear the best arguments from speakers such as Christopher Rufo Mark Stein in Hillsdale College president Larry P Arnn among many others all read by Hillsdale students visit Dana for Hillsdale Com to subscribe today and start listening to in Primus today all for free to listen visit Dana for Hillsdale Com that's Dana for Hillsdale calm. I Gotta share with you my friend Dave Burge, Iowa Hawk. I've been telling him for I don't know how long how many years he needs to do a book of his tweets because he is The funniest person on Twitter and hits the most underrated account and I've met him.
We're both cynics And he's a good friend. I've been a friend a long time I gotta read this to you because he was talking about this writing he had So I was looking at a number of hunters paintings. Have you seen these have you seen all of them? Okay, so let me if you haven't let me put the illustration in your head for you Those of you who are hard at work to pay for everybody else's fair share You guys remember in high school, I know y'all did this where everybody at one point Okay, what school you were in? You did the whole lab science lab where it was bacteria and a petri dish.
Y'all remember that we all remember this, right? And then you don't like it and I guess you did all that stuff That's what his stuff looks like and remember he uses the straw not to snort powder, but to spit paint through so instead of Sockets blow. Mmm got to think about that phrasing Dana. It's turned into an episode of Archer phrasing so Dave Burge was he shared some of these paintings and I was looking at these and y'all I mean it legit looks He thinks he's Jackson Pollock hunter Biden and it it looks like bacteria.
It's so bad. It looks like bacteria Anyway, so Dave Burge tweets major art movements of the past 100 years cubism abstract expressionism dada realism color field pop art post-modernism Math addicts who pick up a paintbrush for the first time at age 50 and suddenly sell paintings to their father's friends for a million dollars And then he shows some examples of these paintings and he asks from a Tony exclusive Manhattan Gallery or a collapsible tent at a week in hippie art fair in Athens, Ohio you make the call and Then he says honestly, it wouldn't have been Such a ludicrously obvious grift had he only Apprenticed for five to ten years at a Mexican black velvet Elvis painting factory. Oh My gosh and then he went on He goes I'm inspired to slop some paint on some Hobby Lobby poster boards and sell them from the back of my truck alongside loop 360 One million dollars no lowball offers. I know what I got And then he says don't worry. They will be so facade and have super artsy artistic titles like haiku number 11 and untitled so by in confidence So that's and then he says artist statement and it's a picture of a wrestling clown and it says I'm dr Roxo the rock and roll clown I do cocaine so Some but but someone corrected so he and this this I feel like is Important for you to know because see if you're watching like one is showing you images of how hunter does the paintings It's not a paintbrush is it it's called boofing paint is he boofing it through this I've wait guys I'm sorry. This is going off and to do a ditch. That's we're looking this up.
Oh my gosh kind of yes So it's sort of like boofing Buffing no, so he's like boofing it through a straw, you know and that's All this but yeah, was this none of the height of kovat where he's literally spitting on to know what you may have some of hunters the China virus that's in the In the spit paint. I swear to you I did this When I was in school guys, I just realized something. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa You know what? I realized because times are tough.
We're in a recession. I need y'all do me a favor go in your parents Garages basements addicts what have you and I want you to find your old masterpieces Because I feel like they could be worth some money I mean what might seem like a simple macaroni necklace to you Could be worth a million dollars to Joe Biden's friends But oh wait, you guys just told me that your last name's not Biden. So it doesn't matter. Never mind Your name's Biden your name if your name is not Biden.
It doesn't matter So he boofs paint through a straw and then he goes in like impregnates all these women without consequences And then he turns it into million-dollar artwork. I my gosh, what a life, right? What a life Not money laundering at all. No, it's not money laundering first off. How dare thou say that About little infant baby hunter Biden who's 50 something years old doesn't matter How dare you that is the president's baby infant son?
little little baby infant hunter Yeah, he wears a kind of doing an homage to Ricky Bobby, but you know, he wears a tuxedo shirt because he's casual but it also says, you know, he's formal but he's here to party Same so I I just it is a money laundering thing and and then so anyway back to this The stooge that's on CNN. He's like, oh, there's no smoking gun I mean if you ignore all the emails where they're like, yes, this is Joe. Can I talk to your business associates? Hi, Joe here vice president, Joe Would you like to come into my office? The vice president's office and talk about business deal. Oh wait, winky winky business deal. Oh wait, winky winky business Bay Ealing's Day Come on guys The no smoking gun. Are they were they can they can they can see right? I Just don't know where the smoking gun is. As long as I keep my eyes to the sky.
I can't see anything. God love it Yeah, that's uh Mm-hmm. No, no, no, no, so I I it is a money laundering thing You think it's all that money that they were getting from Romania and all of that stuff Cain we were it we're in the wrong business I'm pretty sure we could have convinced that senile old man that maybe he had some indiscretions back in the day and we're his children And we could have gotten you know Some of that Biden money.
I mean you can fake anything that is right. Yeah, just don't call us Navy Joan or anything Oh jeez, you've heard me rave about the Kel-Tec KSG shotgun for a long time And the fact is I cannot say enough good things about it I mean the KSG is the one that started it all made ordinary shotguns obsolete and still reign supreme But the big reason I keep raving about it is I'm also the proud owner of one at least and trust me I really put the KSG to the test before adding it to my collection It's perfect for home defense or tactical situations And this 12-gauge is a reliable go-to that's easy to handle for everyone The KSG shotgun is the first 12-gauge pump-action shotgun chambered for 3-inch shells and with dual tube magazines offers a capacity of 12 Plus 1 its downward shell ejection makes the KSG truly ambidextrous and eject shells away from your face It's compact lightweight and easy to maneuver and control learn more about the KSG shotgun at Kel-Tec weapons Dot-com and follow Kel-Tec on social media visit Kel-Tec weapons dot-com. That's K-E-L-T-E-C Weapons dot-com and now all of the news you would probably miss it's time for Dana's quick five All right, so this is this is good news. This literally just broke So I was we're getting ready to talk about this, you know potential UPS strike I mean they have till the very end of this month This is days away, but now apparently just in UPS workers have reached a tentative Contract deal with management days ahead of the strike deadline They said that the teamsters leaders hailed the agreement it now heads to rank-and-file union employees for a vote They said they have wage gains the UPS called the pack a win-win-win They said that they they announced the deal hours after resuming Negotiations following a breakdown in the talks on July 5th, and so they were looking at wages They were also looking at AC and some of the trucks which I actually kind of get if you're in some southern states and it's Like July, I mean, you know, I'm all about taking you know, take care of drivers I do get that but so this is very it's interesting, you know, I get it So that because I mean we were like, oh, yeah, we got to order school supplies We got to do all this because if this happens, it's gonna it's gonna affect shipping it really well Wow, LeBron James's son Ronnie Collapsed on the court Monday and came out today that he had cardiac arrest. He was taken to the hospital He's now in stable condition according to the family's no longer in ICU He said that they was there was just a little after 9 a.m. And he was there Practicing they said medical staff they were able to treat him at USC.
He's in stable condition That's kind of I mean, it's good to be out of ICU that quick after a cardiac arrest But I'm like why I don't think this is normal for Young men particularly the sage to be having it and I don't I know that he got the vaccine I know that LeBron James got the vaccine because he had a statement out about it I don't know if his son did I don't know if that plays into it But I don't think that it's crazy to raise the question considering everything that we know now It's I'm glad he's doing well because I mean he's like a superstar athlete and he seems ever real good heart So goodness, this this is crazy New York Post first. He stole her phone. Then he stole her heart Literally, that's what happened. This chick says she fell in love with her mugger They had an alleged romantic saga and a Twitter video She was walking down the street and she like he mugged her and then when he saw her number He was like, she's cute and called her. I cannot even like apparently got a hold of her somehow This is crazy.
People are woman. You cannot be that thirsty. Stay with us. We got a lot more in store So I had to take my car in the shop, right? I had a recall part on it Kane Do you know what they gave me as a loner? A damn Eevee did they really yeah, they did. Mm-hmm. I'm not driving it My husband was like well cuz he won't pick it up. He's like, oh my gosh, you guys see him I hear you cannot get my wife an Eevee now look I I have What is that? It's the old Cherokee story of two wolves.
Which one will you feed? So I have you know, I love the gadgetry of Eevees. I love gadgets I love flashy things with buttons right like if it's a gadget. I'm like, ooh, you show me a gadget on QVC I'm the person who's like calling like I want that. I'm all about it, but I Hate the fact that all of the stuff that makes that run It's Chinese made its China CCP Dominated so I feel like and then I'm like we're the we're the redacted do I charge this thing? Just plug it in the wall. Oh, really?
Cuz I don't really think it's how it works I mean, don't you have to have like the converter? I don't know I Just and it doesn't make a sound Chris was all excited because he's like it goes faster than the car you have I reject that sir and When you turn it on this is what it sounds like when you turn it on listen real quietly That there's no noise That I Is the damn thing on I don't know It's it looks like an egg and I get in it and it's I just cuz Chris was like sit in it He aggravated me half the death. He's like sit in it sit in it. Just sit in it sit into Dana And I sat in it and then and that like this is gonna sell me it has a cubby for your purse Cain are you okay over there?
Wait, what kind was it? Do you could you say I Don't want to say you don't want to say no cuz I I don't like to I I don't people hate me They'll run me off the road, but it's a damn Eevee and it has the thingy Where on the ceiling the ceiling the roof the whole thing opens and I don't like that Cuz I don't want you know aliens and satellites to spy on me. I get real weird I'm so weird with stuff and it's white which is an anti goth color. I only drive black It's white and I'm not even joking you every car I've had is black I've never owned a car of anything other than black since I was 16 years old except for a brief moment when I had a Geo metro that only went 60 miles per hour. And if you live in Missouri, I almost died 11 T times on highway 270 anyway It doesn't make a sound when you get in it and it all lights up like that's supposed to make me forget about the CC Penis that's attached to it, right?
I Felt like I was sitting in the warm embrace of the Chinese Communist Party. I'm sitting there in this car I'm like, I can't I'm not driving this thing. It doesn't make any noise. I don't know if it's on I Mean, it doesn't sound like a car supposed to sound when I get into a car. I Want it to scare people when I turn it on I want it to go That's what I want to hear. I And I wanted to go but when I drive it and that's what I got. I got a gas-guzzling terrifying car That will put hair on your chest.
I I I want something scary. This is like you get in And then the lights come on it actually it's boozier than anything It's boozier than what I would drive when you when you turn it when you unlock it. I swear to you it makes it sound Doesn't it it makes that sound so I Don't I don't and I was thinking about I'm like damn Joe Biden and my husband's like well, you know They were saying that you know all the loners anymore EVs and you know, the lady at the dealership They were saying that you know, everybody's moving to EVs and I'm like this family's not We're not moving to EVs. I Will Borderlands a damn car up? I don't care. We're not doing it So I'm just you know now if you told me Dana we're moving it away From like CCP reliance and then he went on this big spiel and I my eyes glazed over and I stopped listening because science He was like, well, we're getting away from the lithium ion And he just like went on this and I don't know what any of that means But if we get away from the reliance on the CCP stuff, that's my only objection I don't get I don't care about the I don't want people to think that I care about environmentalism You know, I'm a conservationist, but I really I don't want to look like I hug trees or anything. That's yet another thing You know, I just don't want you know, I don't want my image tarnished.
I I don't want look like I'm caring, you know, so I'm just I don't know. I have problems your thoughts Would you ever drive it? What would you do? They give you an EV loaner? Yeah, I wouldn't know where to charge it up.
I don't have one of those charges at home So I what would I have to always go back there to charge it up? Yeah, I don't know. That's weird I don't know. It's weird like just you know, but they're like, yeah Everything's moving at you V's and then like when you have to bring back a rental car with like full of gas Do you have to bring back the EV? Ask that question. That's a brilliant question because that's not happening, right? I would just go with the gas could just give me something fast Yeah, I'm fine with it.
Well Chris is like those girls really fast. You're gonna like it. It'll blow your hair back Like I I don't care. It doesn't make a noise. So it doesn't matter to me All right, we got to move I have to tell you about pillows. You know what I want to do I want to take a giant my pillow Maybe Mike Lindell can make me one giant my pillow With like the firmest loft and I can place it over the face of the EV movement and lovingly Press down until it stops writhing just saying Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast If you haven't already make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you get your podcast
