Absurd Truth: US History According to Sharpton

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so first up, this comes out of Orlando Marion County, Florida.

Florida Man was arrested because he allegedly stole a lawnmower from a woman's yard according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office. Gary Beby? Yeah. Beby?

Beby? Yeah. He was arrested Monday, charged with second degree petty theft, his seventh theft offense in 15 years. So the woman called the police after she said she went home at the time of the theft. She saw the whole thing unfold on her home surveillance cameras. And a guy they went just came in, stole her lawnmower and rode right away from the house.

Red Craftsman, T2000. And so deputies caught up to him. He said he was picking the machine up from his sister's house. And the homeowner said, No, no, no, I literally just purchased this. And she said, This is mine.

This is my lawnmower. And even the guy's sister was like, Yeah, that I don't know what he's talking about. This is crazy. So the they did actually finally they arrest him booked him into Marion County Jail $2,000 bond. I just think it's funny he just drove away from it. Just you know.

Also, Fox 35 is busy. Florida Man allegedly fled and eluded arrest at a church because he says a cult told him to. He's now behind bars after he was allegedly spotted by deputies driving in circles in a church parking lot. And then when cops showed up, he fled and eluded arrest saying a cult told him to do it.

John Sousa was arrested on Monday, charges of fleeing and eluding according to the affidavit. Deputies witnessed the man driving circles, and they tried to initiate a traffic stop. He drove away, duh, duh, duh. And he said it was a I mean, that was it. That's all I said. This is this $2,000 bond. He went to jail, blah, blah.

I mean, he sounds like a nutjob. There you go. This there are a couple other ones here. Cool.

I like this one. A full and this is a Florida man who apparently well, he was arrested for first degree murder because he apparently chopped his wife up and put her in three different suitcases. And they believe it they said it was a wider Hispanic middle aged woman. She's about 5'4 and one of the suitcases had a sticker with the name on it because the guy's a moron. Well, thankfully, they did capture him. You know, they were able to they found blood throughout the residence everywhere throughout the living room dining room, and a chainsaw that had blood and human remains on it. So he literally he like killed his wife and chainsawed her up.

And put her in three suitcases. And I gotta tell you, his mugshot is creep-tastic. He looks like I mean, if I saw that dude without any contacts on the street, I'd be like killer. He does, right? Some people look like murderers. You know what I mean? Oh, just go ahead and kill him already.

Go ahead and inject him or whatever you got to do. Let's see this BBC story. They have to so you know, they they have been doing Python hunting in Florida because it's an invasive species and it just wrecks the environment there and it wrecks the ecosystem. I didn't so they these these one Python hunters, they call themselves the Glade boys. They hunt snakes every night because the contest begins on the fourth of August. So it actually begins today. It's every year. And they they actually have to measure the snakes after they get them.

They have to line up and lay, you know, feet to head on on the floor to measure how long these snakes are because they're they said sometimes the tape measure ain't long enough. That's terrifying. As students begin heading back to school, do you think they'll be learning about the founding principles that made America the freest and most prosperous nation in history? Well, they learned that our unalienable rights are God given and not granted by government.

Will they be given a full and honest account of our nation's history? The answer to all of these questions is yes for students at Hillsdale College. In addition to teaching college students, Hillsdale has extended its teaching to K through 12 students and lifelong learners like you. If you're not doing so already, one of the best ways to start learning from the folks at Hillsdale is through in Primus, Hillsdale's free digest of liberty. You can sign up for free at the special website for a limited time at Dana for fo our Hillsdale calm and you can look forward to in Primus each month. It's interesting, useful and free and it's one of the best and smartest in conservative constitutionalist thought. Find out more about Hillsdale College and sign up for in Primus at Dana for fo our Hillsdale calm.

That's Dana for Hillsdale calm. Imagine our reading the James Madison or Thomas Jefferson tried to overthrow the government so they can stay in power. That's what we're looking at.

We're looking at American history and how we will play out is going to be very important. Listen, that's Kamala in an Al Sharpton suit. That's all it is. Welcome back to the program. Dana lash here with you.

Bottom of this first hour, we're just gonna go right ahead into it. So oh my gosh, so that's, I don't know if anybody told him this. You know, because he's saying in this audio soundbite, Mr. Sharpton, he's saying that, you know, it's, can you imagine if Madison or Jefferson did it? Guys, can you imagine? American Americans out there? Can you imagine if they tried overthrowing the government?

Can you imagine it? Well, I guess I can shut up. That's okay. Let me just it's obvious, right? When he knows that. Or maybe he doesn't. I don't know.

You may not. What do you think they did back in? Oh, I don't know.

1776. What do you think happened then? Huh?

It's a mystery. Who knew? Imagine if they tried to. First off, that was not. If you think I just got to say, and this is for some of those Republicans out there that push this too.

If you think that was an attempt to overthrow the government. Oh, bless your little heart. Just bless it.

Bless your little baby presses heart. My goodness. Because that's not what that was. You had, it was like, it was like hooliganism. You had some people that were like hooligans. And then the other people were like, what's happening?

We just, we came here because we sell the food trucks. What? That actually is a thing apparently.

I that's not whatever throwing the government was. I still will never forget, like when they went to Statuary Hall, like in the middle of Statuary Hall for no reason. There are these, you know, the little gold poles with the red velvet ropes on them.

And a little red carpet in the middle of this thing. And I don't know why it's not just us. And I guess it's, you know, when the when stuff is going on with Congress, you have the press that goes in there, and I guess they got to stay on one side or the other. I don't actually do that. I don't know.

And I never cared enough to ask. But it was hysterical when they all went in, because you could see from all the video footage, they all immediately found themselves in Statuary Hall. And they're like, Oh, gosh, there's red ropes, and a red car.

I guess we got to stay and they all filed in the middle of it. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I'm like, wow, that's so they still retain some of the sheep qualities.

Because they're making sure they stay in the little roped area in the middle. It was funny. Oh, my gosh, someone put their feet on Nancy Pelosi's desk. It's just like a revolution.

It's just like it. That's not what it was. Tried overthrowing the government. Well, they did. You absolute, absolute mental abortion. They did.

They did overthrow the government in 1776. You want to hear a fun story about Al Sharpton? Okay, so here it is. When, gosh, this is some years ago, when I was on Bill Marshall. And I went in, and I had some of my friends that I had worked with that lived in LA that did, you know, political writing and stuff. Meet me backstage because you always want a posse. When you would go to a political show like that, especially if you were the only conservative, and I think I was on with that weasel that runs Daily Ghost and all this stuff, and then Sharpton was going to be on.

I'm like, oh, for the love. And I can't remember who else. Some one of these goofy Clinton guys, I can't remember what his name was. Anyway, we ended up arguing about when Clinton bombed a medicine factory in the 90s. Anyway, so go on, you know, and I have like, you know, maybe three or four people with me because you could bring some people with you and you could be in the green room and then they go and sit in the audience that is predominantly communist. And, you know, then then you go and you sit on stage. And Bill Maher was always nice, except when he repeated some grifters lie about me on another show, and then he never apologized for it.

But anyway, I digress. So we get there and Al Sharpton shows up with his crew. And this is after he started losing a lot of weight.

So it was weird, you know, like whenever you see someone who was morbidly obese, like Al Sharpton was, I mean, he looked like that one chick that chewed gum from Willy Wonka, like but after she like ate the one piece of gum that blew her up. So he's lost all this weight, but he comes in with this massive crew, a massive posse. And you know, they had craft services, which is what they call the catering in the green room.

So he comes in, and I mean, he and his crew just descend on craft services. And one of the people that I was with, I think it was Larry O'Connor that was with me, and he was like, it's okay, I didn't want to each win any cheese anyway. And it's kind of funny. So anyway, it was just, he was weird. And then when we ended up being on the program, I have a Bible verse that I have tattooed on the inside of my arm. And he had asked what it was. And I looked at him, I was like, well, you're the Reverend, shouldn't you be telling me this? And then we had like a standoff a little bit about it before I told him what it meant, because he didn't know. And I was like, I guess that means I'm more Reverend than you. You can call me Reverend Dana. He's like, that's not how that works. I'm like, it's not how it works for you either. And then Bill had to intervene.

So that's basically that's basically it. I don't know if you know, but he Yeah, they ate all the cheese at the craft services table. And he didn't know what the Bible verse was on my arm. He didn't know what that meant. I'm like, well, you're the Reverend. You know, is that is that not in your racial hustling grievance book?

Like what, you know, maybe you got the wrong holy book, sir. But anyway, that's the story about Al Sharpton. Oh, my other favorite show that he did the episode that he did remember when he pretended to be like, that Mr. Bunsen from like the Muppets. He had this whole lab set up.

I don't know if you guys remember this. They flirted with this at MSNBC for a period. And he had like these beakers and all this stuff up.

But he was talking about politics. But he was they I guess they thought if they put him in a lab scenario that it would make him look smarter. And it just looked ridiculous. It looked like a damn Muppet segment. It was so weird. They I don't know what they think over at MSNBC.

He's still there. Can you imagine if Madison or Jefferson tried overthrowing the Can you? Yeah, I kind of can sort of while we're here in it slick thing. Good heavens. Caltech invented the concealed carry category years ago with a P 11. But did they stop there?

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That's K e l t e c weapons.com. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. All right, so this Tennessee residents are saying their water still smells like diesel after a spill even though officials say that it's safe. Sure. NBC has the story it's in Germantown officials told residents on Thursday they could start using tap water again but around 150,000 to 300 homes still report lingering odors.

And for a week they haven't been able to drink or use their tap water essentially. So yeah, don't don't don't trust your line nose. Do that. Hey, I only got to mention this briefly. Yesterday mysterious pyramid was discovered in Antarctica beneath the ice.

This is kind of crazy. This is also isn't this how one of the alien movies started alien versus predator? Did it start like this?

Yeah, it started exactly like this. So they said, that it's the highest mountain range in Antarctica called the Ellsworth Mountains. They stretch 400 kilometers, the mountain in question was discovered by the British Antarctic expedition of 1910 1913. And the pyramid was, they said that they were trying to you know, the coordinates people were speculating about the true nature of the location. But they said that the German Research Center found a pyramid shaped structure located in the Ellsworth Mountains. And so they said, Oh, it looks a little bit more like a rock.

It does not. It doesn't look entirely like just a rocky peak. I mean, it has four actual sides. I mean, it's very clear from the aerial images. And it's, you know, I just I got a, you know, kind of interesting.

All right. Also, facial analyst says humans are becoming less attractive. Thanks to with every new generation because of modern diets and evolving sleeping patterns. Besides the sleeping patterns, the oro facial habits, now people, it's obviously very, very divisive. But they they say that it's becoming increasingly physically disadvantaged, not just by sleeping patterns, and you know, the oro facial habits, he says, but also pollutants, and you know, etc, etc. So that's kind of interesting.

They said older generations put more force on their facial bones. And so you know, we're kind of different. That's I actually never thought about that's interesting. Stay with us. We got a lot more in store. Cain and I, we are looking for a tinfoil or maybe aluminum.

Is there a difference? I mean, I know tinfoil aluminum. Sorry for the, that's how I don't know if it has to be authentic tin. In order to work, we need a foil sponsor, right? So that when we wrap ourselves in foil and discuss like segments, like we're about ready to dive into, you know, we're capitalists, you know, we can get paid for it. So you know, it makes sense. Cain thinks that there is a reason why all of a sudden you're seeing Kamala Harris everywhere. Now, well, you're saying you're suspicious. Yeah, it was something Juan and I were talking about this morning. Oh, so Juan's in on it, too, huh?

Oh, yeah. Oh, you guys sit over there. And you guys can you guys all like gossip. We have like a, you know, 45 minutes to an hour before you get in here, though, we have our own conversations. So what do you guys think? What's your what's your what's your leading theory? Juan, if you want, you want me to go ahead and.

All right. So the the theory is that as a plan B, because it looks like the Biden ship is sinking a bit. Plan B would to put Kamala out there a little bit more right now and pit her against DeSantis, because I don't think that she would hold a candle to anybody like Trump. I don't think she can hold a candle to DeSantis, to be honest with you. But I think this is at least Juan and I think this is the the plan B for Democrats.

You think she's the plan B? Yeah. Well, who else do they have out, Newsome?

Gavin. But he's gotten in trouble here. Newsome's going to.

There's some stuff that's come out about him. We'll get into that, but. He'll need a VP, too. Well, yeah. Well, she's not going to just stay as VP. I don't know. That looks weird.

I mean, granted, it would be like I think it's a it's a like a pity trophy. But anyway, she let's. Where do I want to start with this? Let's start with five. She's talking to the Mongolian prime minister. We have no idea what she's talking about. Maybe you guys can figure it out.

Audio sound by five. This is your vice president. In particular, we will discuss the work that we will do together to strengthen our space cooperation. You and I spoke briefly about the beginning of the next era and for you what that means in terms of your leadership and your vision for the future. And certainly strengthening our space cooperation would be a part of that agenda.

Including, of course, using our space cooperation to think about how we strengthen the economic prosperity and development of our nation. Well, I don't know what has happening. What is happening here? He was just nodding along like he understood. Yeah, he looked.

Yeah, he was like everybody for a little bit. Just looking at her like, sure, OK. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. So that's not the worst.

This is one of my favorites. She's talking about gun control here. I've never heard the Constitution described.

Quite like this is an audio sound by one. We are confined to what we're able to do in a limited amount of span. What we need is Congress to actually... A limited amount of span.

That's what the Constitution is. It's the United States limited amount of span because we only have so much span, you know, and we're giving span away. And some people get some span and some other people get some span. Then we are left king, unburdened by what has been with a limited amount of span. There's no more span to give.

None. What about SPIC? SPIC and span? It almost did sound like she said SPAM for a moment, and I'm like, I don't know about that.

I think there's a lot out there. But no, it was SPAN. Well, we can't do this because we are limited. We are confined by the limited amount of span.

So this is like if The Office, the US version, did, redid Veep, and then you had, what's-his-face, this character, Chris, his character, was Kamala. Really? Golly, it's a limited amount of span.

I've never heard the Constitution described that way at all, but OK, yeah. I mean, she's number two. No, that was the first thing that flew into my mind. Did you see Biden biking because he's on vacation? He biked right past the same place where he fell down.

Literally fell off his bike on a flat surface. The last time, and my first thought was, dude, she's number two, heartbeat away, right as he was pedaling, and it looked awkward. Like, I watch him pedal a bike, and I get the same anxiety in my chest as I do when I see little kids run down asphalt hills. I get the same amount of anxiety. Like, oh, my gosh, because she's there.

It's, you know, limited amount of span. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.