Absurd Truth: So You Think You Know The Waffle House Menu??

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Visit Kel-TecWeapons.com, that's K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Alright, so first up, we got a few stories here for you. A Naples man with a capable of evading high speed pursuit sticker was arrested for an unsuccessful evasion of cops in high speed pursuit.

Kind of didn't work. Collier County, Florida, a 29-year-old Florida man, motorcyclist, faces multiple charges. He tried to flee from deputies over the weekend and he was also apparently, he had this sticker as I just said, capable of evading high speed pursuit on his bike and they followed him in a helicopter. He was running lights and all this stuff. He was going 110 miles per hour and they finally, they got him and arrested him. So he was charged with felony high speed reckless fleeing and eluding and resisting arrest.

So that sticker was a lie. Let's see, a Florida man barges into a stranger's home claiming that he's a ghost and you can't see him. He is stark naked. There is also, I hate to say there's also video, yeah, so we can't really play the video because even, because you know, it's one of them doorbell cams, but he gets out there and he's like, he's, he said he was, he shows up, he barges into the home. It was in Fort Myers, Florida and yeah, he ended up, they did call police. He could actually in fact be seen.

I don't have any other updates on him, but good heavens. This Fox 35, a Florida man, this is, I get nervous when dogs are involved. So this guy crashes his Ford Ranger into a fire hydrant. He's got his dog with him.

And then when the police shows up, show up, he tries to get the officer's gun, but instead grabs his Jimmy. No, for real. That actually happened.

That's yeah. Bunnell, Florida. A Florida man was arrested for allegedly crashing into a fire hydrant at a Flieger County racetrack. That's a gas station and for trying to attack the arresting deputy. Damn, that mugshot is hardcore. This man's eye is swelled shut and he's making, he's grimacing, if you can't see it, for the people who are not watching the simulcast.

There's about 350 something on a Thursday, last Thursday, Frank Clement Jr. He was standing near the trunk and appeared intoxicated. He said he'd been drinking. He was advancing towards the deputy. They showed up after he ran into the hydrant.

There was all this water flowing in the street. They said that Clement advanced towards the deputy in a threatening manner and then battered the deputy that batters, batteries, you know, grabbing someone by forcefully grabbing him according to a press release. Now it said, the witnesses said they, it looks like Clement was trying to reach for the deputy's gun, but he missed it by a little bit. Grab the Jimmy. That's all I'm saying.

So he was charged with driving under the influence with property damage, aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence and also reckless driving. Now the one thing sadly that is not included in this is any kind of update about the dog because that's really what I care about. That's what we all care about. Yeah, I mean, goodness. And then, oh gosh, what, I don't even know what if I, I don't, oh, I can't read this one. I can't read this one at all.

I can read one with the, with the guy with the box over his head. We had that one already, but I'm telling you, I want to know, I do want to know about the dog. I think I'm, I'm like trying to find out any kind of updates on the dog and I can't like stop speeding and being drunk in your car with dogs and kids and anybody else. Just don't, just don't. Tomorrow I'll tell you about the guy who got in trouble, got felony assault over a chick. Well actually in while using chicken wings as a weapon.

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Or text Dana to 998-899. I see waffle houses trending. Good. I like to get off the road, get in there, order me up eggs, bacon, chunked up home fries, sausage, English muffin, and a waffle. Good to go, man.

Good to go. So there's some things that are not right about this. Kane, do you have any ideas being that you and I are waffle house aficionados?

That is true. We have dined at many a waffle house. I've done homework at a waffle house. I've galley in the morning and at one in the morning. Actually in the morning. I've only ever been there in the morning, I think.

Just thought about that. Only ever been in there at some point in the morning. But there's some things that are sticking out here. The first thought was, well, how do waffle house enjoyers? You know that one meme with Steve Buscemi?

So here's the problem. The hell are home fries at a waffle house? Never heard of it. I mean, I know what they are, but what are they? I mean, I know what home fries are, but what are they at the waffle house?

They're called the hash browns. Don't tell him that. He don't know. English muffin?

That's a good point, I didn't catch that one. I only know because I hate English muffins and I know that they, I mean, do we, has he ever been in one? He is a fiction writer. I mean, if you're going to fake something, why would you fake that? Like why would you write something that's so obviously, I mean, it's, there's, there's no, there, there's not a home fry. You can get the, like now as Kane was saying, you can get the hash browns, but what is he, what is he talking about here?

I mean, and you know how you can get them. The only, the only way they, the only chunked part of it is you can get a chunked hash brown. It's not home fries. It's a hash brown. You can get them smothered, you can get them covered. Nobody can I just say I've never sidebar. I think you can measure a person by how they get their hash browns at Waffle House.

Oh, you know, I'm right. You can measure them by how they get, however they order them. It's like a war shock test sort of, but you can tell what type of person they are by how they get their hash browns. I've never understood the smothered. I know lots of people who get them smothered, but I've never understood that.

You can get them. Oh, what's the other one when they put the mush? Oh, the mushroom caps.

The cap. You can put mushrooms. I've never understood. I've never actually seen anybody do that, but I know it's on the menu. Have you ever, how do you get your hash browns Kane?

Let me judge you right now. How'd you get your hash browns? I used to get them, like back in the day, I used to get them covered and smothered.

You did both of those things? Yep. So it's like a Philly cheese staple with hash browns. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. Kind of.

Yeah. Now you can get them country. Now I've had them like that before. I've had them in the movie on it. And then I can't remember the other ones.

What are the other ones? I know you can put peppers on them, but anyway, there's no home fries is my whole point. You can't get home fries. And I mean, is it, unless it's a new brand new addition on the menu, they have a bunch of different new things on the menu.

Actually, I'm looking at right now. So they have the cheesesteak melt hash brown, the chicken melt hash brown, the sausage egg and cheese hash brown. Bacon egg and cheese hash brown, ham egg and cheese hash brown, sausage egg and cheese hash brown, bacon, egg, and cheese grits bowl. They got the grits too.

I forgot about that. You don't even know what grits are. Come on. And then you can build your own hash brown bowl there. Home fries are not the same thing though. Home fries are more like a poutine, like what Canadians eat, the fries and gravy. Home fries are like the slicer, like you cube them up. They're not like shredded.

So he has no clue what he's talking about. Looks like the hash browns. I just hate him.

I just want to hate on him for a little bit. The hash browns themselves on a plate, not a bowl, is only the scattered, smothered and covered and the all the way. Golly, did you just say you can just get the bowls there?

Yeah. Oh my, I love that's how they do bowls because everywhere else, it's just without the carbs. And it's just, here's the protein in a bowl. And at the Waffle Hush, you can get all your carbs with the cheese in it. That's their bowl. Gosh, I love it. I mean, it's one of the best restaurants that's ever existed on God's green earth.

It really is. So he's never been there. Maybe he was at a Wiffle House and just messed up. Why would you be such a poser? He's such a poser. Who does this type of stuff? Who does this type of stuff?

It's like watching Eric Greetings pretend to be in any way remotely Republican or conservative. You know, out there like, oh, I like to order me up some eggs, eggs and chunked up home fries. Who talks like that? Yes, I would like some chunked up home fries. That's not even what a hash brown is. An English muffin. You know what English muffins are? Biscuits of hate because they're, do you like sand on your biscuit?

Because that's what it is. It's a sandy biscuit. That's what an English muffin is. It's a sandy hate biscuit. That's what an English muffin is. Have you eaten one?

It's like, you're like, the hell is this grit? Why is that? I just went through the new menu here. I don't see any English muffins. They haven't added.

No. No, they haven't. Because they aren't on there.

Golly. Yeah, they don't. They don't exist. It's not on the menu. Yeah, you know how they invented the English muffin? Someone dropped it on the beach.

It was their kid's biscuit and they just dusted it off and handed it to their kid. That's what it was. I don't know if you guys knew that little known fact. You learn a lot of stuff here on the Dana show.

Yes, you do. Fact, you say? Yeah, it's a hashtag fact. When you put hashtag in front of it, it's indisputable. See if I would have just said it's a fact, that's sus, right?

It's questionable, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's, how do their fellow breakfast eaters, I like how he thinks that people aren't going to question him.

And I also, this is how he tries to, I guess, reach out to the common man. Like this. Don't you guys like your chunked up home fries? Yeah, sure they're fed boy. How do fellow Waffle House eaters?

Hello. You got the waffle part, right? Yeah, he'd at least, you know, well, Waffle House, I mean, he figured that much out. Good heavens. I mean, this is the same guy who was like really good friends with JK Rowling. And then when the rage mob came for her, he like quietly backed away because he's a female copulatory Oregon. I have nothing nice to say about Stephen King, except the beginnings of his stories always start nice. And then he gives up halfway through, Oh, what the hell?

Here's a giant spider. Who cares? I give up. Like, did we ever figure out what the dead, the dead lights that we ever figured that out?

Do you give that up too? I mean, the hell? Oh yeah, I read him. Uh huh.

I read them all throughout high school. Oh, I know. I'm not just hating on it for no reason. I actually own his stuff. Damn it.

I'd burn it, but I already paid the money anyway. So there's a, there's your Stephen King for the day. The latest data from the American Heart Association indicates that adults with fatty liver were 3.5 times more likely to have heart failure than those without. And the American Liver Foundation says that 100 million Americans have fatty liver. Start taking care of your liver with Liver Health Formula. You throw everything at your liver, cholesterol, alcohol, toxins, Tylenol, statins, cigarettes.

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So take care of your liver with Liver Health Formula and get a free bonus gift at GetLiverHelp.com slash Dana. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. Listen to this, a planned 2020 FBI interview with Hunter Biden about his tax crimes never happened because the Biden transition team and the Secret Service were once again tipped off and they nipped it. That's according to an ex-agent. These whistleblowers are coming out and I'm telling you what, we're going to dive into that more tomorrow. Inspectors find bedbugs at several Las Vegas strip hotels.

No, no, no, no. Always, this is my rule, whenever I go into a hotel room, anywhere, what do I do? First thing I do is I never put your suitcases or any item you have on the bed. I always put it like if there's the bathroom floor, I put my stuff on the bathroom floor. Then I go to the bed and I totally tear it apart.

I remake it, but I tear it apart. I lift up the mattress, I look for any signs of bedbugs and there are signs, Google it. And if I don't find it, sometimes, yes, you can get a portable blacklight thing by the way.

You can do all that stuff and portable UV. But I look and that has never gone away. That part of my germophobia has never, ever gone away. So anyway, this story, they say that the Las Vegas strip, yeah, they got some best resorts, best hotels, but one of the hotels, circus, circus, they've got bedbugs. A guest was bitten in January of last year and they apparently have been kind of fighting. They said they had another bedbug complaint and then another one. And so now they're learning through public records requests that health inspectors discovered bedbugs at six other strips.

Caesars, Planet Hollywood, Palazzo, Kane and I are going to die, Tropicana, MGM, Grant and Sahara because we like the Palazzo, Venetian Palazzo, I mean, really? Oh my gosh, before shot show, we better, we got to deep dive, dude. We got to deep dive. All right, I'm telling you. But I always, I didn't find any when I was there because I took my bed apart. That's one of the places where I take my bed apart. Like my husband just knows. He just is like, let her just do her crazy chick thing. Let her do it. All right.

I got more. Oh, a woman finds a man showering in her Nashville hotel after an alleged arson. He like set something on fire and then when I have it, went to have a shower. The heat is racist. You know that story, the heat is on. Who did that? Were those, was that the Wang Chung people? No. No. Who did that? Who did that song? Everyone.

Let, let make, make the internet be your Google. Hang on. Stand by. What'd you say, Steve? Stand by.

Stand by. Oh, Glenn Frey? Yeah. That was what everybody got.

Oh, that's right. It was Beverly Hills Cop. Everyone got pissed. Everyone got mad at him because it was like a corny offshoot of like what he used to do for the Eagles.

And everyone was like, this is not a Glenn Frey song. It was for that movie though, I think. Yeah.

It was a Beverly Hills Cop. Anyway. Uh, instead of is on, is racist.

The heat is racist. Doesn't flow. Doesn't. Nah. There's an extra syllable in there.

What if we just like, how can we just shove it all together? The reason I say this is because that is a, an actual for real headline guys, uh, someone over at the Guardian because the Guardian, which is a British publication, instead of hiring like a meteorologist, they hired this butt munch who is, uh, what's his name? Jeff Goodell. He's an award winning climate journalist. Climate journalist. Do you know what a climate journalist this came? They look outside and write about the weather. Open the, open the window and look outside.

It looks sunny and hot today. You win awards for that. Yeah.

You win awards for that. Uh huh. So Jeff Goodell, the award winning climate journalists, he says that racism is at the heart of the U S failure to tackle deadly heat waves. Um, huh.

The racism's yeah. So he talks about this one guy because he says that there's no federal rules related to heat exposure for workers indoors or out. And he says it's because, uh, hi, have you heard of OSHA? You stupid moron. Guess what?

If you come here illegally, you probably aren't going to be working with OSHA. Am I right? Good heavens. I mean, thoughts came. Yeah. Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. The heat is racist. I'm unsure. I mean, is there any explanation in there as to like, is it black people? Aren't allowed to get air conditioners? Like what are they saying? What are they saying? Uh, they're saying that heat is racist because someone who was, I mean, they say they talk about, I mean, it's mainly like people who come in, whether I, I think they try to skirt past the, the legal status of the people who are working outdoors and they say that, uh, since there aren't any federal regulations, uh, for heat, except, oh, oh, there are OSHA literally has like a whole thing about working in, in hot environments and they have like, they literally have a, uh, a number of States even have their own temperature set standards for different things and, uh, they have like, uh, they have OSHA recommendations for even thermostat settings and working in heat, uh, et cetera, et cetera. Uh, they, I mean, there's all kinds of stuff that, so I don't know. I mean, yes, if you come in illegally, guess what?

Your employer probably isn't going to be working with OSHA, but what does that have to do with the weather being racist? You stupid moron. Jeff Goodell. How did this guy win an award? Did he get a plaque for getting out of bed?

Good job, Jeff. You got out of bed today. If I'm, if I'm in a job that works outdoors daily during the hot of the sun, um, I already know I need to prepare myself for that and maybe even pull myself away into the shade with a beverage if I'm feeling a little faint or whatever. Like I think there's ways to deal with this without just going out there and blaming racism for the heat.

I mean, OSHA literally has an initiative called the national emphasis program that is related to working in the heat. So this guy, and I've noticed that the examples that he uses because he wrote a book about this, I'm not going to tell you the title cause I don't want anyone to buy it. It's garbage.

It's trash. But he says that, Oh, it's mostly black and brown workers. And he kind of omits the fact that, you know, when people come over illegally and they're working outside in the heat that it kind of skirts past the whole legal status and he gets into saying basically his accusation is that air conditioning and it's cruel to make people work outside and also air conditioning is, you know, that, that, that people aren't providing it because it's racist. He's not looking into, wow, let's see. People want to skirt the law and use cheap labor and exploit that and take advantage of it. And you're shocked that, that they wouldn't, I mean, it's just so dumb. This is, this is the left, but any blame to racism. Thanks for tuning into today's edition of Dana lashes, absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.