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Learn more at VellaBio.com. Officers at the scene located five people who had succumbed to their injuries, including the suspect. The deceased at the scene include three children, ages five, eight, and eleven, and one teacher. One seven-year-old child and one 54-year-old teacher were transported by Bend Fire to St. Charles Bend with critical injuries.
The families of the victims have all been notified. We have identified the suspect as a 16-year-old Bend resident. Horrible news yesterday. This was happening as we were finishing the show. Actually, the well, actually, I think it was when we were off air.
Yeah, we were off air. No, yeah, yeah, right, right as we got off air. And I mean, it's just it's a sad story because the school is a gun free zone and has been. They don't have to be by state law.
So in Oregon, they get to choose. If they want to be a gun-free zone or not, and this particular district chose that, and I bring that up because the bystander, which actually later we learned, I believe was the parent of one of the students who happened to see what was going on and ran towards. The sound of gunfire eventually stopping this guy, this murderer, this teenager with a shotgun, and prevented the body count from increasing. The truth of the—I mean—that's the truth of this—is that the law that Democrats all say that they want, when it comes to we need to pass common sense, whatever. Is the law that they had in place that actually made it to where there was a higher body count because nobody could be armed?
It was a gun-free zone. Welcome to the radio program, Dana Lash, with you top of this first hour this Friday because it's a gun-free zone. I wrote about this earlier and discussed this. You know the sadness of this because it's—I mean—all of this stuff. I see it.
One of my friends, Andy Pollock, who lost his daughter in Parkland, said that there were other parents now who joined his club, which is so sad. But this school—and I again—I posted about this online. He had a shotgun in a district that chose to be. A gun-free zone.
So, of the 197 districts in Oregon, 25 of them voluntarily chose to be gun-free, meaning they don't allow their teachers to be armed. There was not an SRO there. I mean, I can't even wrap my mind around it. 25 of 197 districts in the state chose that. And again, it's not.
It wasn't specifically state law. The state allowed the district to make these choices, but it was something that the districts chose. And it's just it's so infuriating because all of this stuff is preventable. The bystander, because you had three children and one adult that were killed, and the. Bend Police Spokesperson Sheila Miller stated that was the one who was saying that it first brought up that it was a bystander, which has been confirmed by every other outlet now.
Guns do save lives. It was a private citizen who went to the sound of the guns and saved lives. And I mean. Compare that to what happened in Uvalde, where you had a team of officers in Uvalde that stood in the hallway, and how many? I don't even.
It was just awful. Yeah, and this guy was taking fire by the suspect too. This is cut twelve. Listen to this. This is audio soundbite twelve of the Ben Police Chief talking about this.
Times by a person with a long gun. In the ensuing several minutes, dispatch received dozens of 911 calls reporting that a shooter had entered the building at Silverell Elementary School on Southeast Stone Creek Lane in Bend, Oregon. Dispatch used a tone to alert all law enforcement at 1 p.m. One minute later, officers responding to the scene directed the school to go into lockdown at 1:01 p.m. At 1:02 p.m., our first officers arrived on scene.
Moments later, an officer reported that the suspect had been shot by a community member who had seen the suspect enter the school and pursued him into the school and engaged him. Our officers entered the building and confirmed the suspect was dead. They cleared the school to ensure there were no additional threats, and then rendered emergency aid to the victims. Officers at the scene located five people who had succumbed to their injuries. Hmm.
I. I mean. I. I. It's just so so so sad.
Ah.
So this private citizen who saw what happened ran towards it and put a stop to it. And now you have these lawmakers saying, "Well, we need to have. We need to pass some common sense gun control laws. We need common sense gun control laws." The governor, Oregon Governor Tina Kotek, this was cut thirteen. She, in her remarks to the press, was thanking the hero who stopped the killer.
Listen to this. This is cut thirteen. I want to start by thanking and praising the quick thinking and courage of the Silver Rail Elementary School staff and parents, and the first responders who rushed to the scene this afternoon, and to the community member who heroically intervened to stop further loss of life. Your actions carry a heavy emotional burden, and I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you as well. That was nice.
It was nice that she said that. That she thought thought of him that way. That's very nice. I mean, this is—you know—guns save lives. Guns save lives, and if all of the laws that these people had wanted, if they were followed, there would have—I don't know what the body count would have been.
I don't know what the body count would have been. That's the crazy thing. And I—I saw was it Chris Van Hollen? I'm looking at my list of lawmakers, Chris Van Hollen, because we don't do—we're not cable news, dear God, and we're not podcastistan. We're not so damn stupid that we have to have teleprompters with for our every word.
So it's a four and a half foot screen and notes. The three children killed one adult, and. They police reacted really quickly. I just I've have to compare this. I I think everybody always goes back to Uvalde and the horror with Uvalde because you had a whole team, you had a whole SWAT team that stood in the hallway and they heard shots and they heard people being killed and they stayed in the hallway.
This guy just ran right right to it. The other thing that that came to my mind is that a second guy was able to run into the school. I don't know what their school security situation is. I haven't seen a lot of reporting about that. Whether they had, you know, all of the stuff that's been recommended for schools to have anyway, where you go in, you have the double locking doors, etc., etc.
I don't know if they had any of that, but being that it was a teen, maybe, perhaps, you know, student that was able to get because he's a student, but they had this policy since twenty twenty one. The school that strictly prohibits—I mean, no weapons. Even you can't even carry on campus, even if you have a carry permit in Oregon, you can't.
Now, it's also true that statewide, this this school not only chose to be a gun-free zone.
Now, that's why is that? There's a there's a little nuance here. For over thirty years, schools have been Gun free zones. That's a federal law. That's a federal law that was passed, gosh, back in the nineties.
I mean, it's been thirty years, over thirty years.
So already schools are, all schools are gun free zones.
Now, that's the federal law. School districts have, depending on what state you're in, school districts have the ability to choose whether or not they would like to have. SROs, whether or not they would like to have qualified armed teachers, or whether or not they would like to do something like what my kids' school did as well—they had a combination of all of these things. Plus, they had qualified, trained parents who volunteered as part of a parental group to ensure security of the school perimeter and. In light of all of that, even though they had the ability to make that choice, they still chose to have a gun-free zone, and have it be nobody could carry, no armed teachers, no no asart, none of that.
So this whole thing is pretty. I mean, it's pretty wild. It's pretty wild. I feel so badly for the parents there because it seems like we know now how to stop and reduce this, but people in Congress simply want to run their mouths and they want to vomit platitudes and they want to say all of this other stuff and it doesn't. It has it doesn't have any impact on saving lives.
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Oh boy!
Now the former congressman he had to resign because he didn't want to comply with an ethics investigation. Matt Gates, because he's being he wasn't being investigated for sex trafficking.
Now there's a new lawsuit. Apparently, the plaintiffs that were involved in the previous case. All I know is I've heard about this story from a lot of really well placed sources, guys like impeachable, well placed sources. And that's as far as I'm going to go. But I'm telling you, if I was a betting person, I'd put the house on it myself.
This—they said that it's a suit that they're because they're—it's a federal lawsuit.
So this isn't just somebody going out for money, civil suit. That's not what this is. But it gets into these incidents that had been investigated when the investigation started as a member of the House, and one of the reasons he was resigned is so the House Ethics Committee would no longer have jurisdiction over him. That's why he was. It's also why Trump never made him AG because that would have derailed the nomination and he never would have passed.
Also, this is crazy, and I'm here for it. An army sniper says that U.S. troops killed reptilian beings in a battle near Area 51. I oh can I just talk about this for the rest of the day? Nothing else.
I just want to do aliens. That's all I want to do. Nick Bets he does a podcast. He said that somebody of a military's remember the military's elite special missions unit said that he and other soldiers were given energy weapons. This sounds like Dark Tide to hunt down three creatures which had invaded.
A top secret U.S. facility. The mission was deep underground in a tunnel near the Nevada base, and one soldier was allegedly shot in the chest and killed instantly by the same type of energy-directed weapon. Bipedal, mildly reptilian-looking, but had fingers and was using this weapon system. He said, "What?
You don't believe it? I want to see something." He doesn't believe it, guys. I mean, they've got to have like helmet cams or something. No, that would be too easy. Juan says, "Caps lock so fake." LOL.
I want to believe. I want to believe it too. I want to believe so bad because I'm done just being in the company of humans. I want like some reptilian beings. I'm just ready for it.
AI robots are roaming LA grocery store aisles, and everybody's worried.
Okay, I just think if you're going to make a robot, it this looks like. It's it looks like a stick on a Roomba. I don't know how else to describe it. They said that AIs in different, of course, it takes them five thousand years to get to the point. But people said that they feel like the robots are stalking them around the store.
But the store is like, no, no, no. We promise it's just looking at the shelves to see what's missing or out of place. I. But the people are like, what the hell is that? Like that's what they're telling the press.
Like we don't know what this is. It's following us around the store. I got some bread and it was right there by me. It's very weird. Would you be weirded out, guys?
If you, yeah, it's taking our. This is a South Park episode. Taking our jobs. The dog that was missing for a month in Yellowstone, Luna. I talked about the sweet baby dog yesterday.
Has been found, rescued alive. The little Jack Russell Terrier who bolted from her family's cabin during a vacation at Yellowstone. Finally, they found her. They got her yesterday, and she was reunited with her owners. And they are absolutely over the moon.
They took her to a vet. The dog is underweight. They said that's to be expected, but she she survived. And thank heavens! They said that they she retraced her family's steps the day before she was lost.
That's a good pop. I'm. That's like the best news I've had all week. That's great. We have more in store after this.
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If you're not listening terrestrially, you can check out the simulcast channel three forty seven Direct TV, YouTube, Facebook, as well.
So. We got midterms. We're barreling towards it. A big part of this is the economy, energy prices, regular day-to-day prices. How is this going?
What? How? What are we going to be dealing with in the run-up to November? And that's the thing that. Is at the tip of everyone's tongue.
One of the things I feel like Republicans are kind of messing up on is yes, I think all of these other issues are incredibly important, but it's all always comes down to. And I hate quoting James Carville, but clocks are wrong twice, or correct twice a day. It's the economy, stupid. It all comes down to the economy. Joining us on this, we've had him on before.
He's a great guest, Phil Kurpen, who is the president.
Well, he's he works. He's an economist. He works with AmericanCommitment.org. You can find him on X. I keep wanting to say Twitter at Kurpen.
He joins us now, Phil. It's always good to see you. I the couple of things to start off with, but one of the things because you guys were I heard you talking to my producer Kane on break a little bit about this, particularly as it relates to Ukraine. And the refineries and Russia, and apparently, had a strike on these refineries without any kind of approval or sign off from Washington D.C.
So, obviously, we're seeing the effect on diesel, gas, oil prices here at home. What how what impact is that going to have on people's psyche as we're rolling towards the ballot box? What are we? I mean, is that going to get overshadowed by like other Market energy forces. Like, how do you?
What is your thirty thousand foot view there?
Well, Dana, it's it's pretty interesting situation because we've have kind of a double price spike and or sort of a price price shock on top of a price shock because of these two geopolitical situations. And of course, we already had the conflict with Iran with Iran in the Middle East, and that's we've had this sustained crude oil price spike based on that supply shock, and supplies have come up a lot from where they were, but that still takes. A long time to work back through the supply chains and all the inventories that have been drawn down, and all of that. And then, on top of those already elevated crude oil prices, then we got these Ukrainian strikes on Russian refineries, and that's why the diesel price spiked. You know, from that elevated level, we got another spike, and that's why diesel is so high now because the Russian refineries, you know, all refineries produce multiple refined products, but depending on the temperature and the pressure and so forth, they can sort of tune them to specialize to match.
Maximize one particular product, and these these Russian refineries were. Specializing in diesel, Russia is a major diesel exporter, and these were older refineries that were were equipped to produce as much diesel as possible. And so, the price spike from these Ukrainian strikes has been mostly in diesel. Diesel is where that impact has been felt.
So, you had already high prices from Iran, and now you have this other geopolitical situation that's made diesel, in particular, spike much higher. And that's, I think, what's what's caused a lot of blowback in terms of you know. The business community, in particular, and agriculture—all the you know every—the thing about diesel is it's not. Just you know, some people drive diesel vehicles. Everything grown, shipped, and manufactured has diesel as an input, and so it creates a lot more risk that you're going to have spillover and you're going to have higher prices and other things as a consequence of that.
And of course, we had this kind of parlor game in D.C. for a few weeks where people were like, "Did you know? Did Zelensky freelance this and do this? You know, do this drone strike without the U.S. even tacitly agreeing to it?" And there were some people saying, "Oh, they wouldn't do that." And then I heard rumors that you know they.
Definitely did it without U.S. approval, and then the president basically confirmed it because he came out the last few days and he said, "You know, Zelensky did this, and he caused this problem, and he shouldn't have done it." And of course, you know, the president saying he'd rather do a deal with Russia on energy, and so it's pretty clearly a big split between the the U.S. and our Ukrainian allies here. And you know, the the the most cynical view and sort of the conspiratorial view, if you will, is that maybe Ukraine did this on purpose to undermine the president. Which blows my mind.
Because he's been—I mean—I feel like he's been a fair partner with them, and that's the thing. It's like why—why would they do this so close to our elections, and they need this? Probably just—it's probably just they thought, for reasons, you know, for military reasons, that it made sense for the war effort. I mean, that's kind of the the Occam's razor explanation. But I will tell you, a lot of people, including probably the president himself, think there maybe was some political motivation.
That—that would. Boy, oh boy, I hate that because that's. I mean, if they, it's if there's going to be any kind. If he spent all that time engendering goodwill, that's going to be gone just with this because that's one thing that Americans wait. You messed with our gas prices that are going to affect everything because it's diesel, and as you correctly noted, I mean, it affects far more than just you know our neighbor down the street that drives a giant diesel truck.
I mean, everything that we get is based is is off diesel, so. Yeah, I that's that's just such a mess, and I could spend the whole segment on just that. But I want to get to a couple of other things too because we got the jobs report out, and the latest report shows unemployment declining ahead of election.
So, I guess my question is, how much of that improvement do you see as a real, like, lasting strength versus like a favorable, like, you know, quick picture?
Well, you know, I think the job market is actually pretty strong, and we've got you know the the data is a little bit hard to interpret. It's a little bit messy because you know they do these two different monthly surveys. They do one where they survey employers, and that one's not been doing so great. It was up, I think, forty six thousand. It looks like less because they they just they they include the government jobs.
I always take that out. Government jobs have been declining, but private sector jobs. I think it was up forty six thousand in that survey in the last month.
Now that's not a great number, but then you look at the other survey they do, where they call households and they say, "Hey, are you working?" and people say yes. And that one was up a lot. That one was up, I think, like four hundred thousand or something like that. And so we've got this situation where you're getting different data from the different surveys, and you're not quite sure which one to believe. But I think it's pretty clear that there are a lot more job openings than there are people looking for jobs right now, and so the employment situation is still good.
The challenge for most households has not been that they Can't find a job, or that the employment situation isn't good. The challenge for most households the past few months has been the same thing that we experienced under Biden, which is prices are rising faster than incomes. And that last year, the reason 2025 was such a great year economically is for the first time in a long time we had incomes rising much faster than prices.
So you got to the end of each month and you had a little more money to buy things. We it wasn't like under the Biden years where the price of everything was just going crazy. And really, since the And were started. We've been back in that situation where prices are rising faster than incomes again. And so it's not that people can't find work, and it's not even that their incomes aren't rising.
It's that their incomes, you know, the raise that you get is not enough to cover the increased price of things. Prices are rising fast, and wages again. And people hate that. They feel, you know, because you can afford less than you could before. The psychologically, that's very, you know, people hate it, and just mechanically paying the bills you have to pay, people hate it for a good reason.
And so that's been the challenge.
Now there is some potential. Essentially, good news on that front, which is we have some very early preliminary data. It's not the official data, but at Unleash Prosperity, which is the other group that I do work with with Steve Moore and Steve Forbes and Art Laffer, we actually have a big brain economist who parses the census data way ahead of the official numbers. He's got a formula to do this, and he's got kind of a real time gauge on median incomes, median income data. And he said that it looks like for August and September, the this is reversing.
Now we are rising again. Incomes are rising again in real terms after adjustment for inflation, but very narrowly. But at least we may be turning around and going in the right direction on that, which would be very helpful. But even if it's true, people aren't going to feel it. That's what I was going to ask you: Can people feel that?
Are they going to feel it? And will they feel it going into the going into vote? Because that's what matters. Probably not. That's the other challenge.
I always remember, look, in '92 when George H.W. Bush lost, we were already way out of that recession. But people didn't believe it, right? Right. They didn't.
They didn't vote as if we were. That's correct. We're talking with our friend Phil Kurpen. He's on X at Kurpen. When you're talking about too the downsizing, because so many of that, I think it was something.
I'm looking at my notes. Like 328,000 fewer federal jobs since January 25. I mean, just the. I'm assuming the private sector just absorbs this workforce when they leave the federal government. Yeah, a lot of them.
I mean, some of them took retirement. I mean, one of the things about the federal workers is a lot of them were eligible for retirement. But why retire if you don't have to show up to work? Oh, yeah. There you go.
What was happening in a lot of these jobs? I mean, a lot of these federal workers would still hadn't gone back to work from the COVID lockdowns when Trump came. Oh my gosh! You know, so I mean, it's and the other thing that they fixed, and this is an amazing thing, but you know, you couldn't. Process federal retirement paperwork electronically until this year.
This was something that, or I guess last year, this is something they did in this administration where he brought in, I think, Joe Gebbia, and they they actually digitized this process. But until now, you know, to retire in the federal government, somebody had to like take an elevator down and abandon mine shaft in West Virginia where they kept all the paper files and process.
So you couldn't do more than like a thousand retirements a month or something.
Now they can actually do it digitally, so it's not all. People who got laid off and moved to the private sector, but it's some of that and a lot of retirements also. That is, I mean, because that's it sounds like a Shit's Creek episode is what that sounds like, having to go down. Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy.
There were some. There was some coverage of this. I mean, this this mine in West Virginia where all the employee paperwork is stored. It's a crazy thing. That's one of the.
By the way, the Grace Commission, the Grace Commission that Ronald Reagan formed in the 1980s to eliminate waste and. Government had recommended digitizing federal personnel paperwork, and it didn't get done until this Trump until this administration. That's this that's the speed of government. It literally takes a whole lifespan from recommendation to actual implementation. That's insane.
We're talking with our friend Phil Kurpen, who is president of American Commitment, and he's also a principal of Unleashed Prosperity.
So, inflation data is heating up. Labor market's holding. What should the Federal Reserve do next? I mean, is there a risk of mixed signals? Like, is there a risk of that between the data and then the, for the lack of a better way to put it, data and the policy path?
You know the Fed is in a really tough spot because you know for a long time this year they were kind of saying, look, we're going to look past, we're going to look through the supply shock. The underlying economy is really strong. There's not a lot of inflationary pressures outside of what's happening with energy, which was caused by a geopolitical crisis. At some point, that's going to resolve. The war will be over.
So we're not going to get ahead of ourselves and cause potential economic damage by raising interest rates and making credit more expensive. And you know, we got to that September meeting, and they kind of said, "Look." This war is still going. It's six months. We don't. Nobody knows when it's going to end.
It's starting to look like energy prices are spilling over to other things. We're going to start raising, and they went ahead and did that. And then, of course, you know, we got a pretty bad inflation report for September that just came out this week, and they printed a 3.7 percent number for the year over year, which is higher than the 3.4 percent we had the previous month. And everyone said, "Oh, you know what? This means the Fed's going to raise again at their October meeting." And that was all the coverage yesterday.
Now, what happened? If you look at the futures market, which is people who are actually betting money, predicting what the Fed is going to do, they went from like a seventeen percent chance of a rate cut this month to like thirty percent yesterday. When that news came out, but it's back to seventeen percent today, and so it looks like market participants still think it's pretty unlikely that we get another rate hike ahead of the election. It's more likely that they say, you know what, we're going to wait and see what happens. We're not going to rush to raise rates.
And so, you know, I'm you know predicting the Fed is very difficult to do. If you could do it successfully, you could make a lot of money on that yourself. But I tend to say that the the market usually when they're saying that there's an eighty percent plus chance of something, they Usually get it right, and so they probably will not raise this month. But if the you know if we don't get resolution of you know one or both of these wars, it's possible we will get more rate hikes later this year. Which is one of the things that's tying into the messaging about this election.
And and you're not a doomer. You're not like one of those people who have the skies falling every. I mean, you're very practical, which is you know one of the reasons why I enjoy your work so much. You're just very practical. You're um you're a math person.
You're you have an engineer's mind. You just on Understand, and you just very simply explain it. Whereas everyone else is, you know, weeping and gnashing of teeth. Everyone's freaking out. Which brings me to the big question that everybody is asking now.
October's winding down. We're just weeks away from the election, and everyone is asking themselves, "Is the economy strong?" Because they're getting so many competing messages from media, from talking heads, even from economists who are trying to tell them it's bad, it's doom and gloom. But what when you're looking at this? And assessing this, which indicators matter to you the most, and how would you answer them?
Well, Dana, I think there's a lot of really good news in this economy. In particular, I think that the the tax cut bill that they did last year was very successful on the business side in terms of bringing predictability and giving strong incentives for business investment. And you know, we've seen a lot of capital expenditures. And when you get a lot of business investment, that means over time you're going to get much higher productivity. You're going to get much higher wages.
And you know, the other huge bright spot we've seen, which is related to that, is Stocks have really been on a tear. They've performed extremely well. Corporate profits have been extremely strong, and so you've got this situation where people's incomes from wages have just sort of treaded water or even lost ground this year. But if they have investment portfolios, those have done extremely well. And so we've got you know that's kind of the big divide we have psychologically, right?
Is people who do have significant investments kind of still feel good about the economy and they can even maybe sell some things and pay for them that way? People who don't. And they're seeing the gas price, and they're they're you know they they're seeing they can afford a little bit less this month than last month. They're kind of turning more negative psychologically. But I have more of an optimistic outlook overall because tax policy is very good, regulatory policy is very good, energy policy is very good.
We're seeing a lot of investment. We're seeing a lot of productivity gains. I'm optimistic about AI that it's mostly going to be a huge positive in terms of people being more productive, being able to produce more. It's also going to push up wages. We could do a whole hour.
That's a whole other topic. I see that as a positive myself. And then you know you've got one negative. It's a big, big negative, but it's one factor, and that is what's going on with oil prices. But you know because it's being caused not by bad policies, but by geopolitical shocks.
I tend to think at some point, and I hope sooner rather than later, those will be resolved. And we've got all of those other positives that that are kind of ready there. There is another negative, which is the long-term federal budget outlook, and that's another one we can go very deep on. That's a whole other. We're going to have to bring you back for that one because it's a whole other conversation.
Our friend Phil Kurpen at Kurpen on X, and you can also find him at American Commitment. He's a president over there and Unleash Prosperity. Always so good to have you. I appreciate your time. You're so generous with us.
Thank you so much, and have a great weekend. You too.
Okay, we have a lot more on the way. Florida man coming up as we move. Our partners that bring you the program—it's the folks at Alliance Defending Freedom that have been there for so many different fights, helping to overturn Roe v. Wade, scoring major free speech victories in front of SCOTUS. And here's the other thing they want you to be aware of: this new curriculum that is infecting thousands of schools across the country.
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You need to understand what's being presented. And and and paraded as education for your kids. This is where Alliance Defending Freedom has entered. They are gathering 100,000 signatures to get this program out of schools and protect parents' rights to direct their children's education and protect their innocence. But they cannot do it alone.
They rely on people like you to continue fighting these battles in the courtroom, in the state legislatures, wherever your freedoms are under attack.
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So first up, oh great, everything froze. Let's see here. I have.
Well, no, not doing that one. I do have a story. Here it is. It's pulled up. I got it up.
I got it up. Everything's crazy. This Florida man without clothes. I've on. I found a new excuse, guys.
A Florida man without clothes found your school. Oh boy!
Said no, no, no, no. He's not a pervert. He is part of an art exhibit, y'all. This. Really need to know what art a nude one a nude art exhibit a public park beside an elementary school.
This guy, police, it was in the morning. It was in the morning. It was seven thirty in the morning, school time, and they found. This Carlos Luis Miller Oraka, I'm sorry, you have too many names. 43 walking around through the park, totally butt naked, any KKID, and they were trying to put clothing on him, and they were like, "What are you doing?
What's up? You're a pervert." There's a school over there, and he's like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I am an art exhibit. I'm doing art.
Okay.
So, if I ever like get a minor traffic citation. Dana Lash, like maybe I rolled through a stop sign or I didn't wait long enough for right on red. I'm just gonna. Do you think this will work? No, Mister Officer.
I am art. I'm doing art.
This is an art exhibit. I'm gonna use that from now on. If you want something done right, you do it yourself. That's why you change your own oil. You're thinking about the long haul.
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Making a reference to a certain someone's opening monologue. Oh no! You said thanks a lot, Shane, referencing, of course, Shane Gillis. You even had to bleep that out.
Well, there was the eye roll emoji, but in all seriousness, how are you thinking about what happened this week with Shane's opening monologue? You've seen the pushback. No, again, that's comedy. It's like. You think it's funny, and then and then some people don't.
Did you laugh at what I said? I was at cue cards actually thinking about what I was going to say that was going to make people upset.
So I wasn't really. I didn't even see it till like the next day. And you thought? I didn't think about it honestly. I think it just didn't.
It just was like. You know what? Kudos to this dude. Yeah. Major, major.
I forgot what his name is. He he's done weekend update for like ever. Oh my gosh, he's handling it so good because he's making her look ridiculous.
So much. That's Michael Shea, isn't that Michael Shea? That's right. Yeah, he actually is kind of funny, and he's not a nut.
So is he probably left? Yeah, but he's never. He's like one of like him and Colin Joe. Like Colin Joe's kind of annoys me, but Michael Shea I find less annoying, and I don't know why. Maybe it's because he's so laid back.
I don't think he has a pulse. He's the. Does he blink? He's so laid back. He is so chill.
If you, he is like the physical manifestation of some relaxing music. I don't know. He's just very, very calm, very chill, very like this. Even most people would be freaking out because you're on. Was that today show or whatever?
I don't know. We don't watch. We don't watch that garbage. But. The question and answering.
I mean, I think most people would have been a little freaked out by this, and he was just—he's so chill. He's like, "Well, I mean, I was on cue cards. I was just thinking about what I was going to say." Juan said, "It's like jazz, like soul vibes." It is. He's so chill. He was handling it so well.
But how ridiculous is it? Are they going to drag like every single? Are they going to bring every single cast member and do the whole "Where are you with us? Where do you stand? Where do you do you stand with you know this or you with Shinkillis?" That's that's literally everything that they're.
That's what they're doing. But good on Michael Shea because he was not going to take the bait. And what'd you think, Anne?
Well, he made a joke. I thought it was hysterical when he said, "Well, some people found it funny and some didn't." Like he had to explain it to her in the most remedial of terms. But yes, Kane made a point too that these people, particularly these leftist women, they're so upset over what Shane Gillis said, but they weren't so upset, and they weren't upset enough to like not call Sidney Sweeney a whore for her jeans ad or a whore for her. MLB ad or go after Katie Zakaria for looking like a overly made up whore. I mean, golly, these women are.
I don't believe any of you dumb broads. Shut up, you annoying broads. Shut up. And I've still yet to see anybody that can actually pull off the scrunchy shorts. Muffin tops are not a trend.
Don't make them one. We got a lot more on the way. Stick with us. In the meantime, as we move, we've got. Today and stupidity coming up.
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And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So we'll come back to this here coming up, but breaking news: apparently, Peter Ducey was just told that the White House is transitioning Katie Zachariya out of her job as Trump's press secretary.
So that's something that we're gonna we'll come back to that because it's breaking news. Danny Trejo's son, you guys, you guys know him, Machete. Danny Trejo's son is saying that his dad is hostage, is hostage. To finish a film that's pro ice, his Gilbert Troyo says that his dad is contractually unable to leave or publicly criticize the production, and the actor says he's pro immigrant and not pro ice.
Well, when you do a movie and you accept cash and you sign a contract, that's kind of how that goes. I mean, you're telling me that you signed on to do a movie and you didn't know what it was about? Is that like that's like on you and your agent, dude?
So. Yeah, and it's his son saying that.
So, these people that say this stuff—you're already in the United States, whatever. Let's see. Oh gosh, a woman allegedly faked her death to avoid charges for a fake GoFundMe. Oh my gosh, this is in Pennsylvania. A woman who lives in Blair County is now behind bars because of a months long investigation into allegations that she faked her own death.
In an effort to avoid any criminal liability connected to a case involving fraudulent fundraisers, 39-year-old Jennifer Lamer is accused of sending a series of falsified documents to the public defender's office and other officials while pretending to be someone else who claimed her claimed to be her sister. She was basically using her sister's death, her sister's death, to raise money. That's what it was. Long story long, and it was all fake. Let's see this a Apparently, Austin, Texas resident found six potentially live grenades in boxes bought at an estate sale.
You know what that means? In comes the explosives team to look at it. This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea. Women are expected to manage everything: work, family, hormones, cramps, and somehow we're still supposed to be in the mood because apparently having a uterus wasn't enough. That's where Vela comes in.
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