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Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.
Well This guy walked out on his bar tab and apparently was pretty pricey, but then he had to come back. The next day 'Cause he forgot his phone charger. The single dude wrapped up about $70 and barked.
Well, maybe. By himself. He walked out after he told employees he didn't have the money to pay, and then he had to come back. the next day because he left his phone charger. And he had left it behind.
And guess what? Police were called because he decided to come back after he walked out on the bar tab.
So he's charged with obtaining food with the intent to defraud. He's still in the Pinellas County Jail.
So he's still in jail. Yeah, he uh Yeah. Yeah, can't afford bail, can't afford food, then don't eat out if you literally know that you can't afford it. I mean, he ate like he it was mostly he drank like $70. Then don't then don't go out.
It's not difficult. Here's a good guy, Florida Man. He rescues, a Florida man rescues a pregnant woman from a sinking car off of I-95 in Martin County. Good night. Florida man rescued a pregnant woman.
She gave birth to her baby hours later. That's crazy. The car was in a pond, the vehicle was sinking, he jumped into the cold water, got the woman ashore, and they took her to the hospital. She had her baby just hours later. That's amazing.
So, this guy hopefully gets a medal for that. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. The Olympic skier who was running his mouth Hunter Hess is kind of backtracking. This is what he said at a press conference: like, you have one job.
You go and ski. That's it. One job. This is cut one. This is how it started.
It brings up mixed emotions to represent the U.S. right now, I think. It's a little hard. There's obviously a lot going on that I'm not the biggest fan of, and I think a lot of people aren't. If it aligns with my moral values, I feel like I'm representing it.
Just because I'm wearing the flag doesn't mean I represent everything that's going on in the U.S.
So, yeah, I just kind of want to do it for my friends and my family and the people that support me getting here. Why did you even have to address it? I know that somebody asked the question, but just because a reporter asks the question doesn't mean that you have to address it. I mean, there have been other I mean, you saw other athletes that are like, That's not why I'm here. I'm not here to talk about this stuff.
Like, I'm here to, you know, I'm here to. to with my sport. I'm here with my discipline. That's what I'm here for.
So Now he's kind of backtracking just a bit. And he's saying that there's so much great about America, there are things that could be better, et cetera, et cetera. You know, the best part is the Olympics it brings people together. I can't wait to represent Team USA when I compete, et cetera, et cetera. I mean, it's not.
I didn't think it was much of a cleanup. Did you? It was like the least you could do, not even that. I guess he's trying to I don't know. He's trying to be a little better.
First, I would say, you know what, I'm not going to answer any question where I have to sit here and. and you're expecting me to dog the country that I'm representing. I would immediately, I mean, you know, not everybody has big enough cojones, I guess, but that's what these people should be saying. That's what these athletes should be saying. But every one of them is like, ooh, okay, I'll take the bait from the press.
And they just walk right into it. And then, you know, they're shocked that there would be this kind of reaction to it. That doesn't make any sense. What did you think was going to happen? Just go and just go and do your sport.
Just go and compete. That's it. You don't have to do anything. And if someone's like, well, how do you feel about representing? I don't know.
You're mom. Shut up. I'm here to represent my country. That's exactly what I would say. Your ma'am, shut up.
Shut your face. Go delete your face. Done. Not even answering your stupid question. These I don't they act like they're scared of the press.
Stop being scared of these pansies. Stop being scared of them. Stand up to 'em. I mean, like Lindsay Vaughn, this is cut six. Listen to this.
It's a privilege to represent your country and the Olympics are the largest stage in the world, the largest sporting event in the world. To walk out into the opening ceremonies with your fellow teammates is such an honor and I always feel incredibly lucky that I'm even able to compete at that level.
So I definitely don't take it for granted and I'm going to enjoy my last Olympics as much as I possibly can. She uh had one hell of a wreck. I mean, Share Crash when she, uh I mean, man. I don't know if you guys saw a video of that. That was pretty crazy.
She crashed early into the women's downhill. And I read that she she had to be airlifted out, but I read that she broke her leg. Uh there were a couple of other skiers that crashed afterwards and then there was some Concern about the melting snow and that it was not going to be as easy for other skiers, etc. But um she had a I didn't know that they're racing suits. Had little airbags in them, and they do, and hers inflated.
And uh when they lose control, they sit you know, they say it s helps to soften your fall, but Man, that was a rough... Crash This was after an ACL, a reported ACL rupture. And that um I mean It just looked bad. I mean, you're falling down a mountain. Let's be honest about what it is.
I mean, you're falling down a mountain. So I don't know if she's. This was apparently supposed to be her last. Olympics. She it was interesting because she was slamming some of these these critics because people were out there saying, Oh, Lindsay Vaughan, at her age, can she st I mean, she's in her forties.
She's not ninety years old. But that's kind of it is sort of weird when you see the press do that. And there was a reporter that was writing about her that way. And saying that, well, can you believe it her age? etcetera.
And she's like, What are you talking about? And she's like, What do you mean, at my age? I thought that was. Just it's I mean, she's probably At that particular discipline, don't you think that she's probably the best perhaps that's ever been at that discipline? I think so.
Uh but she Uh I mean She's been doing this for a long time. She's a powerhouse. I mean, I think she deserves a little bit of a little bit of courtesy in that. But yeah, they were like the Atlantic were like, oh, she shows what happens when athletes keep competing into their 40s. Do you realize that some of these 40-year-old athletes?
would smoke some of these 20-year-olds that have never done it. Like imagine. These people are at their prime. They are they are uh they're fn they're machines. But it's very interesting.
And I think it increased even more when she said that it's a privilege to represent your country, et cetera. You also have. I thought this was, there's a couple. This was, oh for crying out loud. Surprise, surprise, it's a figure skater.
This was Amber Glenn. I don't even know who this brought is. This is cut four. She's a figure skater, and let's get political. Here we go.
Yeah, it's been a hard time for the community overall under this administration. It isn't the first time that we've had to come together as a community and try and fight for our human rights. And now, especially, it's not just affecting the queer community, but many other communities. And I think that. We are able to support each other in a way that we didn't have to before, and because of that, it's made us a lot stronger.
I hope I can use my platform and my voice throughout these games to try and encourage people to stay strong in these hard times.
So you could say lawyers now. A lot of queers. I mean, is that a word that you can say? Because I thought it was bad to say the queers. It's the Q in LGBTQ.
So I'd think that's a good idea. Yeah, but if you were to start a sentence with, yeah, well, the queers, you know, that would. Previously You would be accused of of Slurring, right? You need listening intently if you started a sentence like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I know that if I'm, you know, it sounds like a very red foreman way of starting a sentence.
Well, the queers. First off, I don't know who she is because this is why I don't watch the Olympics. I have people who are, they have one thing and then they don't want to look at it, they don't want to do that thing, they want to go and do something else.
So she says The queers are having a hard time in Trump's America. I mean, no examples are given. But those queers are really having a time of it. And I'm like, what do you mean? What Yeah.
I got a question. What about the Iranian athletes where they throw said queers off buildings? What about any of these other countries where the queers are put to death, the ones that are competing in the Olympics? Oh, Amber Glenn doesn't have anything to say about those. No, no, no.
She's just going after the United States. Let's talk smack about the United States. That's all this is. That's all it is. They're just It's It's like a struggle session to complain.
About the United States. She's, well, and no, and not giving any kind of examples. We can give you tons of examples of other countries that are competing that she hasn't said anything about. It's a hard time for the LGBTQ BBQ community overall because of this administration, you know, it's just so hard. I mean, they actually have gay people in their administration, so I don't.
know what she's talking about there. Why could was there any reporter who said, can you give us an example, Amber, of said queers being suppressed?
Well, no, I'm here, like, at the Olympics, such as, and I just I'm you know, it's just hard. For the community, the queers, you know, such as maps and such as.
So So they get all these endorsement deals and they go and bash the United States. What? Isn't is sh so wait, she's is she gay? I'm just ask I mean, I don't care, but I'm just for one particular reason. Let's see.
Let me look up. Because I don't know anything about her because figure skating. I don't know. Just sent.
Okay, yeah, she's she came out as. pansexual, so she loves the pans. And um It's true. There's a I I mean, I would s think it would be pot sexual because you just with a pot you can do more anyway.
So She is competing. Let me just make sure I understand this. She's competing. At the Olympics. She's got millions of dollars of endorsement deals.
And she's going, yeah, it's like super rough being an American queer. It's just so oppressive. We're so oppressed.
So oppressed. Like while she's competing at the Olympics and getting tons of money. And endorsement deals. Can I be oppressed like that? Where do I sign up for the oppression?
I too want to be oppressed. Kane, would you like some oppression?
Sounds great. Yay! That sounds amazing. Just go play in the snow. Hell, that's all you're supposed to do.
Go twirl around on ice. I mean, this is already, this is why I don't watch the Olympics. I don't want to watch. absolutely entitled brats. create problems to make themselves victims of so they can feel special.
That's what this is. That's what they're doing. If queers are so oppressed in the United States, why are you at the Olympics? I mean, granted, it's figure skating, but Why are you at the Olympics? Have you heard of the name Johnny Weir?
Two words. Have you heard of that? Because if. Why is he I mean is he a commentator this year? Him and that Tara Lipinski, whatever, that other little skater.
They were actually kind of funny. But he dressed like a If this is a phrase that can be used, a gayer version of Daphne Guinness, don't know, who, by the way, was the inspiration for Moira Rose on Schitt's Creek, her whole. costuming. Yeah, I just um They're so oppressed that they actually can become like Olympians and stuff. in the United States.
They can actually be appointed In the, they can be appointed to the administration. Isn't that interesting? I mean they can be Secretary of the Treasury. They're so oppressed. Who knew that American queers were so oppressed in the United States that they could be appointed to lead the U.S.
Treasury? Oh, you guys didn't know Scott Besant was gay? Gay is the days long.
So, where is this coming from? This is just stupid. It makes her look like a ditz. I mean, don't be a gay bimbo. Just don't.
That's just not a good look for anybody.
So oppressed. Here I am at the Olympics with a gay treasury secretary. I'm so oppressed. I'm gonna dry my tears with money. Use some hundreds to dry my tears.
I I this is why I don't watch it. I It just, I can't root for people like this. Even I want to root for the person that she's competing against. And I don't want to root against my own country, so I don't watch it. I just can't.
It's just all such night just a nightmare.
So in addition, wait, who else dumb we have? Because there's some more. Oh, we got wait.
Well, no, this one's not.
So, here, going back to the free scout, this is Chris Lillis. Hunter has This is cut too. ICE agents don't reflect the country they represent. Why do you hate Hispanics? Because, you know, the majority of ICE agents are actually Hispanic, but you know, go figure.
This is cut too. I feel heartbroken about what's happened in the United States when it, you know, I'm pretty sure you're referencing ICE and some of the protests and things like that. I don't know anything about it, but I'm respecting everybody's rights and making sure that we're treating our citizens as well as anybody with love and respect. What do you mean, citizens? And I hope that when people look at athletes compete in the Olympics, they realize that he's a bimbo too.
I'm not even going to listen to the other bimbo. Two male bimbos bimboing. It's a bimbo off. Which won? Yeah, who won for sure?
Then you have U. S. Olympians Via Irving. Again, tough time in our country. This is cut three.
I'm getting tired of the apologetics tour here with the Olympics. Listen. That's definitely a tough time in our country right now, and I think I just continue to represent. My values, which is compassion and respect and love for others, and also to represent my community at home and those that. Have given us the opportunity to be here as a very special experience.
I mean, it's like so bad that they're arresting these pedophiles and rapists and murderers. I mean, won't someone think of the pedophiles, rapists, and murderers? It's just won't someone shed a tear for those poor sweet murderers and rapists and child predators, so mean to see them arrested.
So oppressed. Yeah. This is why, so I'm not into the skiing. I'm not watching any of this stuff. Does this make you want to watch it?
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Stay unbreakable. And now, all of the news you would probably miss, it's time for Dana's Quick Five. Ooh, flesh-eating worms are spreading into the United States, triggering official disaster declarations. It's a flesh-eating parasite that's coming into the U.S. from Mexico.
It's called the New World Screw Worm. It lays hundreds of larvae in the wounds of animals and humans, and then they hatch and consume their victims' tissue. That's disgusting. And it's, as you can imagine, the infestation is quite gross. The Texas governor issued a declaration of disaster.
This was last week, and said that it's a. cane. It's a danger to the booming beef industry. Hmm.
So now, because he declared it a disaster, they have resources that they can use to try to deal with it. But they apparently, Florida, they found larvae and an open wound on a horse that came from Argentina. The horse was quarantined. I'm not saying that it's biowarfare, but I See, it's bio-warfare, just FYI. An NBC announcer was caught on a hot mic calling the Olympics big air finals so boring.
And he's not wrong. It's just all boring. I think it's made boring because everybody decided to get political as well. But the guy, Todd Richards, said that he was unimpressed with the boring men's snowboarding big air finals on Saturday. He goes, that was so, he goes, it was so boring.
He said that the qualifier was more exciting, and apparently people were mad.
Well, if it was, it was. I mean, get over it. Also, let's see here. FCC is launching a probe into the view amid crackdown on equal time for candidates. Nobody cares.
Wall Post publisher Will Lewis abruptly stepped down. A person got a back tattoo in a Wendy's dining room. This is separate from the other headline. Apparently, a dude took his shirt off and got a back tat at a Gastonia Wendy's in North Carolina. And I don't know, man.
It's what he did. It was filmed from a car and it showed a dude sitting shirtless in the dining area of Wendy's. And then somebody was behind them wearing blue gloves and holding a tattoo gun and tattooing their back. And it's weird. That doesn't sound hygienic at all.
Don't you want to go into that Wendy's now and get a delicious hamburger? Get a back tat and a burger? Burger and a back tat. It's a combo. You don't want that?
Mm. Apparently, researchers are surprised, they say, by the brain benefits of cannabis usage in adults over 40. Can they make up their mind either it's gonna kill you and you're gonna die in an AIDS fire or not? It's ridiculous. Every year, people make the same fitness goal: train harder.
But most fail because recovery gets ignored, especially connective tissue that muscles depend on to grow. Frog Fuel was developed by Navy SEALs and perfected by a Stanford-trained scientist, delivering 15 grams of nano-hydrolyzed collagen protein that digests in just 15 minutes. It's science-backed and ready to drink. No mixing, no sugar, no junk. This year, don't just train harder, recover smarter.
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It helps us get this show in front of more people who need some sanity in their day. Oh my gosh, I gotta share with you the Wapo thing though. Washington Post.
So I had tweeted this. This is an actual. headline that the Washington Post Yeah. When by the way, when was the last time that Colin Kaepernick like played.
So Paul? Does anybody know? Kane, do you know? Steve, you're a football dude. Do you know?
When was the last time he actually played? Uh maybe like 2017, 2018. Oh my gosh.
Okay, so this is why this is even more ridiculous. Ha the From the Washington Post quote The Super Bowl is being played in Colin Kaepernick's former home stadium, at a societal moment that echoes the issues he forced football fans to confront nearly ten years ago after he kneeled during the national anthem before a Forty Niners game. What? Mm-hmm. Uh And they actually said that the most the Washington Post literally wrote, that the quote most relevant figure to the Super Bowl is Colin Kaepernick.
Oh, they didn't fire enough writers. over at Washington Post. Clearly Bezos needs to fire some more. You know, people never Objected to peaceful protest. People were objecting to the premise for the protest.
Because it was all about, oh, well, cops shoot more assailants of color than they do white assailants. And that's actually has been factually disproven six ways to Sunday, multiple times by multiple independent entities. And so I can't, I'm not going to sit here and rah-rah behind a lie. That's just a lie. That's what people were objecting to.
I don't care about however you want to disresp I mean, it's disrespectful. But If you want to do that instead of riot, that's better. But it's still disrespectful. And what made it even more disrespectful was that it was done based upon a lie. By the way, that was like one of the first.
Not one of the first, but that was one of the bigger cracks when we left our old church. And I think we may have found a new church, by the way, in our ongoing. uh search for a Bible believing church. But The we had our at the time the pastor got up there and and just rattled it off like it was fact Oh yes, you know, cops shoot more black people than white people. Set it up on the dais.
Yeah. I I looked at my husband and my husband looked at me. I was l and he knew, I'm like, mm Wrote wrote to the uh pastor, wrote to the elders, didn't hear back. Yeah. Some But that's that was a lie that was that was promoted.
The media also promoted it. Why are they trying to dredge this up now? Keepernick was never a unifying figure. He wasn't even great. He wasn't even like a really great football player.
They act like he was like this Hall of Famer and he wasn't. He never was. I think it's safe to say that maybe in the beginning When he first started, that some people thought, oh, maybe there's an opportunity, you know, there's a potential here for him to be really great, but he just didn't have it. And that has nothing to do with his politics. It's just the way it is.
He just didn't have it. and I think he knew he didn't have it. And I think he knew that he was going to be let go. And he had to do something to try to keep his name in the press because his skills as a player definitely weren't doing it. I feel like that's accurate to say, Kane.
Yep. And that's how the and then everybody aided him. They aided in a m a m a media the mediocrity of a player by trying to act like it was really politics that everyone was reacting to and it wasn't at all. Just the bait and switch of this. But that Washington Post decided to write that.
I mean, this is why nobody, this is why they're losing.
Societal moment that echoes the issues. What are you talking about? What? About what? They didn't even actually get into it in the piece.
They didn't get into it how it was disproven that stat is a lie. In fact, it's been mission creep. They change what he took the knee for this whole they keep changing what it is. But yeah. Speaking of Washington Post, that's one example.
Let me regale you with this amazing headliner, Ready. This was from a couple of years ago, but it's probably one of their dumber ones.
Okay. Quote. Researchers say Discovery's programming overwhelmingly featured white men as experts while emphasizing negative messages about sharks. No. Yeah.
Cain I've got issues with that headline. That was a real actual. Headline That was an actual Headline from Washington Post. Shark weak lacks diversity. And it overrepresents men named Mike.
Because apparently there are no black Americans ever that have been named Mike. Can't I just give you that? That's a real thing. That is a real story. That's just one of several ridiculous headlines.
You didn't think it was real. It's real as the day is long. It is. Michael Jackson's like really hurt and Steve notes that. I mean Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson.
I mean, we can sit here and go on and on. I mean Michael B. Michael B. Jordan. That's right.
Let me read you the first Graph of this ridiculous story from Washington Post. Can you believe, based on this story, that they weren't making any money? And Jeff Bezos had to fire writers. Oh, here's how it starts. Note the last name.
Lisa Whitenack loved sharks as a kid. She spent rainy days leafing through a guide to sharks and readers digest, and every summer she would watch Shark Week, Discovery's annual T V event that spotlights the ocean predator with seven days of dedicated programming. But when the scientist appeared on her T V screen, she rarely saw any women she could look up to. First off, why are you ending your sentences like that? That's horrible writing.
Quote, why would I know I could do that? White Neck said. I don't come from a family of scientists. I didn't see very many people that looked like me on television, end quote. She found her way into shark research anyway, the article notes, and she became a biology professor in Pennsylvania.
I think that's one of the stupidest things ever. I don't see people like me on T V, so I guess I can't on this one instant, so I guess I can't do it. I feel like these are just made-up stories from women who just want to try to create this. Obstacle that they had to come over to inflate their importance and affect in their own minds. That's really so it gets down into it.
And they're very upset that there are no people of color interested in sharks.
Now, I know it's an older story, but this is one of the reasons why Jeff Bezos is firing everybody at the Washington Post and why they're not making any money. They literally went.
So, this one chick.
Now, you would think with a headline like this. Maybe they would have had a team of researchers that looked at shark weeks and stuff. No, they didn't. They just have this one chick complaining. Her own study found that no there's no people of color that like sharks and that the T V specials featured six white men out of eight named experts.
What? So s out of eight people, six of them were white? Oh, calero And then she said most of the X shark experts were men. which means that sharks are sexist and racist.
Okay. This is why. This is why nobody is reading Washington Post. This is the stuff. This is why nobody's rating it.
It is a joke. This is an absolute joke. But that's what Now you can see kind of why. They're probably not making any money. Why Jeff Bezos?
And then they were upset. Because Jeff Bezos decided he didn't want to continue to dump money into this failing entity, and they acted as though he should, he should be funding their hobbies. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you a fraud-paying American?
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