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Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. Yeah. It's time for Florida Man. This is why you don't play with fire.
Like ever, it's not a toy. Can't believe I have to say this. A Florida man, well, Florida teens played with fire, friend got burnt.
Now there's a felony charge. A 17-year-old set his friend on fire.
Now he's arrested and faces felony-aggravated battery. Thank you. Dudes. It's dudes. Yes, of course.
They're boys. Bradley Ming faces a felony charge. He set his friend on fire. Marion County Sheriff said that he deliberately poured gas on the teen and then ignited it. That'll do it.
That'll do it. And he got severe burns, victims in the hospital, second-degree burns. Uh the uh There was a video that showed exactly what happened. He poured gasoline, created a flammable trail leading right to the victim. And then flames, you know, the guy tried to jump into a lake.
He got treatment for his injuries. They tried to downplay what happened.
So he's in jail without bond. Don't be stupid. That sounds like bullying and not something a friend would do. being. A Karen causes a scene because somebody wouldn't move their cart It's described as Oh, progressive boomers be progressive boomerin.
So a Florida man got into a fight with a Karen because she demanded that he move his cart. The video began with the staff being called over. The woman said she wanted the man to move his card. He refused. He said she was minding.
So they're in an aisle. This is the stupidest, pettiest thing I've ever seen. Stop being horrible meat sacks. Stop it.
So she's got her cart. He I don't know what She said she had asked him to step aside. The man said the woman was rude. She just demanded that he move. and didn't say excuse me.
All of this is so dumb. And they went back and forth. And every woman clearly is the aggressor, but it's like: if you just want to get it over with, get out of the way. Or if you have the time to mess around, then don't, which apparently this guy had all the time in the world, so he didn't move. I don't know.
D I ah, it does bother me. I will say does it bother you if someone tries to get by you and they don't say excuse me? Not so much. I don't really care too much about that. It doesn't bother me.
I just don't like it when people stand there, like if I'm looking at something in the aisle. And I'm supposed to guess what's going on in their mind because I'm not paying attention to them. I'm like looking at something and they stand there. Right. And They I don't know.
It's like use your words. You know what I'm saying? I don't know. Let's see. I got to do this one because I don't even know.
I don't understand this headline, actually. This headline Uh Okay, there's a lot here. Florida woman. Apparently got arrested Because of her behavior at the Walmart self-checkout, where she was pretending to be a police officer. And then she had her taser out and ready.
And then an elderly woman against an elderly woman in a motorized scooter or something. And then there were racist remarks. I don't know. This lady though is crazy and I just need everyone to see her mugshot. Because her mug shot is something else.
75-year-old Florida woman, she. had a taser and claimed to be a cop. As she intervened in a Walmart self-checkout fight to defend, okay, she's defending a senior in a scooter. Defending. Yeah.
But the witnesses say the senior the scooter senior was making racist remarks to the other customer. I don't even know. This is so stupid. I can't believe this. And then At one point, she pulled out a black taser from her purse, pointed it at the victim and the and the mother And said, stop, I'm a police officer.
She was not, in fact, a police officer. And there's surveillance footage of all of it. And she got in trouble for it.
So she actually, because she displayed a weapon, technically, she got charges of aggravated assault with intent to commit a felony and impersonated a law enforcement officer. She was booked in Broward County. And uh She was released. Oh my gosh, just all of these stories Are examples of what happens when you don't just go on living in your life and you just don't get around it. You know what I mean?
Just don't. I can't, man. And if you're in a scooter, you have no business getting involved in a fight with nobody else.
Okay, just don't right there. Just stop it right there. Let's see. Oh, gross. A Florida man is bringing his invasive lizards, their iguanas, to a pizzeria.
It's a big thing down there.
Now they're having a guana pizza. I will pass on that one. I heard it's like the chicken of the trees. I get what you're saying. During the holidays, it's easy for all the healthy habits to go out the window.
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Get $200 off for a limited time when you use my link, covepure.com/slash Dana. That's C-O-V-E-P-U-R-E dot com slash Dana. Rewards programs are a lot like pop culture. They can be hard to keep up with, but with Venmo's new rewards program, Venmo Stash, rewards are so easy because the The more you do, the more you get. And you choose the bundle of brands you get cash back at.
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You ready for story time? We're at the top of the second hour. Can find us on Substack Chapter and Verse, YouTube, Facebook. I tell you to go to the chat. But it's on a platform that suppresses us, so It's true.
It's Umbleray. But all the good people are hanging out there, all right?
So The Olympics. I know I'm not launching. I don't know when I stopped. It used to be a thing I used to enjoy, but then everything got so political and stupid that it made everything unenjoyable, and I just kind of threw that in with it. And then you had all the Dudes who want to be lay days Who got involved?
I saw this for I have two stories for you. One of them. Ah, boy. One of them is that is going to be really difficult to discuss. The other.
Is this Algerian? You remember the Algerian Olympic boxer? What what does he go by? In Maine? Emmanu.
A man, Keith? Keep. What? Oh right, woman, whoa men, whoa man. She gave, or he gave, sorry, an interview with French sports outlet Les Equip.
And I'm a man Khalif confirmed that he had the SRY gene. that's carried on a Y chromosome.
So everyone's like, can you believe he admitted finally that he's a man? He needed to admit a man before you went, oh, well, that made sense. Really? What gave it away? The giant Adam's apple or the other giant Adam's apple?
What gave it away? The fact that he's like 6'2. What gave it away? The fact that he talks like this Well excuse me, it's mad It is ma'am. I mean, what gave it away?
I'm curious. They were allowing him, the Olympic committee, to continue boxing in one woman's category where he ultimately took gold. And that was the International Boxing Association. He uh failed a sex test. Yeah.
It's very easy to see. Pull down them britches. We don't have to sit here and do all the blood tests and all this stuff. Pull down them britches. That's what we're gonna do.
We're doing it the old fashioned way here, Amaman Khalif. That's what we're doing.
So They, why was this like a big thing? Multiple leaked medical reports. Dude. You know there's one easy way to check, right? Just saying.
I just said I didn't need to check. I mean, I could look and be like, that's a man. Yeah, that's all I needed. I think What gave it away? Hello, I am it's me, a woman.
What gave it away? Good night. Sure, it's piteous.
Well, she's a guy, so. Yeah, it's a. Oh, my word And he failed all these chromosome tests, and they and then the IBA said that they had been barred from releasing them by the Algerian Olympic Committee. I think Algeria needs to be yeeted out of competition. No, this is a woman.
See, it's a woman. Sh he wears the lipstick. It's a woman. No, it's a man. His name's Imaman Khalif, let's be real.
So The Algerian Olympic Committee was trying to hide all this because we knew it was a dude. They thought you were stupid. They thought they could bring out this 6'2 dude. With a package in an Adam's Apple, deep voice and facial hair, and be like, no, that's a woman. But that there is a lady, it's a female woman.
That's Not.
So he failed all these tests.
Now he's finally admitting, yeah, I had this gene or whatever. You're a dude, stop doing it. Just you're a dude. With a weenus, you're a dude. Stop!
Why is it so st why do we have to go?
Well, all these chromosomes, you're a nude. You look like a dude, you talk like a dude, you have bumps where dudes have bumps, you're a dude. That's it. It's not difficult. Oh my gosh.
I just, I wouldn't want to compete in any organization that's confused about this. Also confusing. You need to know this because I had to read it. It's one of those. I don't understand I'm not even going to pretend that I understand how this would work.
Not even going to.
So this started trending last night. And it's in the New York Times. Would you like to hear? The headline Oh, it's okay, 'cause Juan's just going to put up the tweet. It's okay.
Go ahead and hit us.
So, reports have surfaced before the Winter Olympics that allege ski jumpers are injecting their wings with hyaluronic acid to fly farther. The World Anti-Doping Agency has vowed to investigate.
Well the erection. Yeah. A fly card? Like a squirrel? Like I don't I don't understand.
How That Now The New York Times admits it's a lurid claim. But they're writing about it anyway. It's the International Bob Sleigh and Skeleton Federation. I just have to stop right there. Wait, Kane, write down the Skeleton Federation for a band name.
That's an action. We're stopping everything right now. This. I know it's like some kind of Swiss sport, isn't it? That's when that's when you go head first down the hill or something like that, and they call it Skeleton or something.
I don't know. Uh and that's what a toboggan is. That it's called the skeleton. I don't care. I just got an amazing view of skeletons on a sleigh, and it's amazing.
Um Skeletons on Bobsud's ring, Making spirits bright So it's the Ha ha ha ha. International Bob Sleigh and Skeleton Federation. They're banning the new helmets Britain wanted to wear because of aerodynamic ridges. But then apparently, things went to a new level because ski jumpers are allegedly injecting their. Mm.
Male copulatory organs with hyaluronic acid to fly a little bit further. It was The claims were reported in German newspaper Bild. And Now, the New York Times does say.
Now hold up. Yes, there's some science here. There's a little bit of science that backs this up, just enough to make this a story. I'd love to hear this.
So.
Okay. How are we doing? The science is that if you inject the copulatory organ with the hyaluronic acid, it increases the size and gives ski jumpers. Bigger genitalia. at the point that their suits are measured by 3D scanners.
The temporarily enhanced measurements would theoretically mean athletes are given a bigger, looser suit. like a sail catching the wind. and would allow them to make longer jumps. I'm glad. That they explain this because I was thinking, isn't that stuff packed away when you're doing the jump?
Like It doesn't deploy like a parachute. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So The Build newspaper Quoted this guy saying, Yeah, it is possible to achieve a temporary visual thickening of the organ by injecting paraffin or hyaluronic acid. Pair of things?
Good, good. I don't want to win anything that bad.
Now they haven't accused any specific athletes. But where? That's the Bobsley skeleton people. They've found us, this gets weird. It's like a h a mad lib of what?
They said, Well, if presented with evidence of wrongdoing, we are going to investigate. Is that considered doping then, if that's what you're doing? If you're injecting. I mean, it's temporary and it just gives you a bigger suit.
So, is it considered doping, though? Who are the people who have to they have to use a three D scanner to measure the suit? Wow, these people this year have some Come in with some larger packages. I just don't. Man, you have to be really dedicated to the wind.
There's nothing. That's what but so they have no proof. It's just a hunch.
Well, what makes them think that this is happening? Who had to get a bigger suit? That's what they should be looking at. And why do you care? Who cares?
It's all about getting the oh man. Oh, I'm not even reading the chat's comments. I'm not even doing this. Have they measured the advantage? Like let's say that someone got a suit and didn't inject their thing with hyaluronic acid, and then someone did, and then the difference between the two, like what is the term for catfishing?
This is the measurable advantage. I get you get a bigger super suit, I guess. Oh, I know. Yeah, but what does it end up like? You get extra two yards in the flight?
Like, how, like, what's the measurable advantage? I'm just trying to figure that out. I think that's it. You're up for like a second longer. A second?
I don't know. I'm making this up 'cause this isn't saying Oh man.
So I guess if you're a chick, you got Two places you can inject then. the people who make it excuse me possible. Are the folks over at Super Beats the turmeric chews? You guys are very familiar. with the turmeric choose apparently some people are con are confused about the packaging So the Super Beats packaging is in the, you guys know that it used to be in a white bag with red lettering.
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All right, so first up, chaos. A car crashed into a busy Los Angeles grocery store, and three people were killed, seven people were injured. That's insane. This whole story. Good night.
This uh it was little They don't really know what caused the crash and they don't know who the driver was, but apparently she also hit a bicyclist before she ran into the store.
So yeah, that's rough. Minute Maid has discontinued Frozen Juice Concentrate after 80 years. How are my great aunts gonna make their boozy slush? every holiday. They said they're discontinuing their frozen orange juice concentrate in the U.S.
and Canada. Actually, I like those. I mean, if like literally for. It's the boozy slush, man. Why are we gonna do boozy slush?
We'll figure it out. You have to April to grab some cans. And I am actually right now going to make a grocery order. No, do self, get some cans for this lush. I'm literally doing this right now.
Yeah, you get till April and then it's gone. I, man, I don't even know why. They didn't say why they were getting rid of it, though. Is it because of Maha stuff? I mean, I don't care if there's chemicals in it.
It makes great slush. Saying, I don't care, man. Give me the boozy slush.
Sometimes you need that to get through some holidays. All right.
So, Valentine's Day spending is going to hit a record $29 billion. I don't get that. I've never been a big Valentine's person. It's just kind of weird. It's because it's performative, that's why it just feels performative.
I just think it's better if it's like out of the blue. But, you know. They said that on average, people spend about $200 on gifts. Anymore at the cost of flowers, it's like a medium-sized bouquet now. It is crazy.
So, yeah, you don't need to go into debt for that stuff. That's goofy. A Linwood police officer hitched a ride in a pickup truck to catch a stolen bike suspect. That was nice that he did that. He chased down a guy who stole a bike, and apparently, it looks like he got him.
They arrested the suspect. The guy had $30,000 in active warrants.
So he has done some stuff in his life. He's not, wasn't a really good person. Let's see. When you cut carbs down to zero, I don't believe, this is where I disagree with RFK Jr. He's touting the keto diet as a cure for schizophrenia.
First off, no. And keto only worked for certain people. I'm one of the people that doesn't have enough particular enzyme in my liver to process it, so I can't do it. I don't have schizophrenia, though, either. Stick around, we got more in store.
I'm not playing the video because I hate giving people who are stupid. Attention. And I don't want to shower them with more attention than They deserve. The headline is this. Fired TPUSA staffer rips into Erica Kirk's leadership team after Charlie's assassination, saying, quote, it breaks my heart.
So, this broad, who's a yes, I did say that word, cry. a member of the PR team for TPUSA. I it sounds like After I, because I watched some of her video before my eyes glassed over, because I was so completely bored by her own self-importance. Is you're probably bad at PR if you don't understand why you were let go.
So this person This trick she worked at TPUSA, she did this 12-minute video. Basically repeating Gal Sharpton's Accusations, Macabur, Legitimatez. I mean, I feel like I'm hearing like hood magic, what in the hell is happening? Are you inside that's what it is? It's a hood spell.
I don't know. It's true. Legitimatize. Macabre, it's like when Al Sharpton says Signore Weaver. How does he say Chipotle?
How does he say Chipotle? It's a sharpened spell. Woo!
So This chick went on repeating Cal Sharptons. Claims She said that she was summoned to a meeting and blah, blah, blah. And it's all conspiracy theory stuff. And She Said that she was informed something about a board member had a daughter who was friends with an employee who didn't like Erica. I don't even understand.
Long story short, she went and was talking smack about her employers, and then she ends up getting fired for talking smack about her employers. And I'm thinking What is difficult to understand here? Is this some like Zoomer Waffen? Belief. I went and I talked smack about my boss.
Can you believe I was fired for talking smack about my boss? I mean, I only just, like, suggested that my boss murdered my other boss. What? Yeah. And then you're surprised that there would be a consequence for that.
That's like me saying, hey, Kane, Mike, and Rich over Radio America. I think they killed some people. Right? And then Mike and Rich finding out and going, wait, what's up? Why are you saying this?
Yeah, they totally killed some people. Remember, wink, wink, nudge, nudge. We could get fired for that. Yeah. You can't just like smack talk your employer.
And think that you are still owed a job. You aren't owed anything. And I have to say, this is very bad, PR. This is not the way that you would handle it. Especially if you were trying to get even, this is not the way you'd handle it.
Because it just puts you in the position of attacking a widow, and that looks bad publicly.
So if you're such a great PR meister, then why did you put yourself in this unfortunate, disadvantageous position?
So And again, It's like she's just repeating Gail Sharpton's stuff. I still can't believe people are going on and on. Who would assassinate Charlie Kirk? Who's going to? I honestly believe the Zumerwaffen probably killed him now.
Let's just go ahead and go on with that. There's more evidence that the Zumerwaffen killed him and the woke Reich killed him than Mossad or anything else. I mean, let's just go ahead and take the crazy train to its final destination, shall we? Let's see where this logic of rail goes. It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
And I don't know why. I honestly, I think it's because people, if you want me to put my tinfoil hat on, I think that people don't like the fact that I do think that there is an effort on the right to encourage Identity politics like the left does, but then they act like it's not leftist because they put it in a veneer of rightyism. And I do think that TPUSA, they have some really good people there. And then I do think that the organization buddies up to some people that are incredibly questionable. But They're really trying very hard to do the good thing.
And it seems like there are people attacking them for not bending the knee and embracing all of the woke Reich stuff because it's all the woke Reich people that are floating this stuff. It's all the woke Reich people that are attacking a widow. It's all the woke Reich people that are pushing these conspiracy theories. It's every thirst thought with an axe to grind that is out there trying to sell this for clicks. I mean, that's the common denominator here.
The idea and selling this stuff, this is what happened after Andrew passed away. There was a lot of, and a lot of it was done. You know, a lot of the conspiracy theories were floated by that Nepo baby's dad on the Vue, Alyssa Farah. Her dad over at WorldNet Daily was the guy who pushed that, oh, Andrew was killed. Shadowy thing.
He was the guy who pushed all that stuff.
So, you can understand that's one of the reasons why I dislike Alyssa Farah in case you wanted to know the full story. It's because she's a Nepo baby whose dad was a loon.
So I it's like the same thing is happening with Charlie. And seeing this stuff happen. I also think that you're a pathetic sack of meat if you're trying to make life harder for his widow. I don't give a rat's backside if you like how his widow is handling stuff. Who are you?
To sit here and criticize how a widow is dealing with having her husband gunned down in public by a lefty nutjob. And then the left celebrates it. And then you have the woke Reich that's attacking you because they want to control your organization. And that's the truth of it. These people are trying to take control of the organization.
I do think that there is some truth to that. And to see this stuff play out like this is stupid. I mean, all of these people, Gal Sharpton and the like, what the hell are these people talking about every single day? Whether it's Tucker Katarlson or somebody else, all I see, I've never seen anybody so obsessed with talking about Mossad spies and Israeli whatever and pumping that day in and day out. Do they talk about special elections?
Hell no. Do they talk about bellwether elections going into midterms or anything that we could do to win in midterms? Hell no. You know why? Because none of these people pushing this stuff have ever been in there at the street level doing the heavy lifting.
That's the truth. A lot of them come from Fox News, and they had these cushy, glassy studios, and they had a whole staff that did everything from wipe their ass to write their copy. You actually think that some of these people were involved in changing anything on the ground level? Please. They sit up top.
And they just commentate. That's all they do. They're commentators. They provide, that's all that is. And if they want to fashion themselves into some kind of like conservative activist now, okay, but none of us actual activists ever remember you ever being there.
in the trenches when it counted. But these are the same people that are all I hear about is, oh, Israel, Israel, Israel, every damn podcast, every damn episode, it's all they talk about. There is no diverting to any other subject. If they're not having a Giant pleasurable circle with Imams from Qatar, then they're doing this. It's Israel, Israel.
It's all I hear. Get new material. Talk about stuff that matters, that's happening here, that's affecting what we're going to be dealing with coming up in midterms. I find it interesting that people get out there and say, well, you can't talk about this in this country and then be America first. How the hell are you America first talking about buying houses in Qatar and then going after organizations that actually do stuff?
It's a bunch of grifters. I get so tired of it. And yeah, yeah, we're going to gatekeep because a lot of us busted our asses and put our names on the line and actually did endanger our own safety and that of our families in order to score a little bit of ground that we are desperately holding onto with no help from these losers.
So, yeah, we are going to gatekeep people who threaten that, threaten past victories, and threaten past ground gains. Absolutely. And if you don't gatekeep, then you're no better than unlocking your door and letting every Tom Dick and Harry come in. You might as well, I mean, you gatekeep at the border. You gatekeep your baseball team.
You gatekeeps Super Bowl halftime. Yes, you want good stuff happening. I just, I get so tired of this.
So, yeah, this broad sits here. I can't believe I can't, I talk smack about my employer, and I got fired. Wow. Who would have thought about that cause and effect in 2026? Wow, so shocking.
Gets tiring. Gets super tiring. But I do think it's a power play. I think people are trying to get a hold of that organization. That's really, honestly, that's what it feels like.
And it makes me wonder, and Lorraine makes a good point. This is probably the chick that was leaking to Candace, too. This was the chick probably leaking to Gal Sharpton. All for clicks. Is it worth it?
I mean, good night. Get some new material. They can't get new material. Because the moment any kind of controversy with this goes away, Gal Sharpton and everybody else lose their influence. Because they only had influence because of TPUSA to begin with.
They lose their influence. Without conspiracy theories, who's going to click? Who's gonna watch? And that's the truth of it. They're not well read enough to do day in and day out stuff.
So they do the conspiracy theory stuff. Or maybe they get bought and paid to sit here and promote the great, the virtues of Islamism. while attacking Christianity. from overseas. Also that.
Oh, I don't give a rat's backside about being nice to any of these people. None of these people matter in my day-to-day life. It does not affect me if they fall off a cliff tomorrow or they stay topside. I don't care. None of it affects me because they've never done anything but bitch and moan on their podcast.
That's all they do. They've never been there when it counts. They like to pretend, but sorry, posting photos of yourself on Instagram and running your mouth in your own little room towards a camera. That's not enough to do it. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast.
If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Are you a fraud-paying American? One in four tax-paying Americans has been a victim of identity fraud. With LifeLock, if your identity is stolen, they fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Last year, billions in refunds were stolen.
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Terms apply. This is Teddy Mellencamp from Chew Teas in a Pod with Teddy Mellencamp and Tamra Judge. There's a new season of 90 Day the Single Life, and it's hotter than ever. If you've never seen 90 Day before, this is the one that will get you hooked. Their marriages crumbled.
Now, eight singles are taking the lead and stepping back out to the scariest place of all, the dating world. There will be exciting first dates, steamy hookups, big let downs, and potential love waiting in the most unexpected places. Don't miss a new season of 90 Day The Single Life, Monday at 8 on TLC. I like things my way. My coffee, my schedule, and my treatment.
So I talked to my doctor about self-injecting with the Vivgard Hytrulo Prefilled Syringe, which contains Fgardigamide Alpha and Hylaronidase QVFC. It's injected under your skin subcutaneously. It means I can inject in my space on my time. It's my treatment, my way. Visit VivGuardMyWay.com.
That's VYVGARTMYWAY.com and talk to your doctor about VivGuard Hytrulo, brought to you by Argenix.
