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It's his life mission to make bad decisions. Yeah. It's time for Florida Man. What? I know.
Okay. Yeah. All right.
So let me just set the story up for you. He's already looking at this. I said on break, like, what in the world? This is in Fort Walton Beach. Just let me give you the headline.
Woman tries to avoid arrest by defecating towards officers in Fort Walton Beach. What? What? Towards? What does that mean?
I don't know. I'd say Tuesday. This was just yesterday. Officers responded to the Palms of Emerald Coast massage parlor due to a report of battery on a Department of Health employee. According to the Fort Walton Beach Police Department, the employee was conducting a routine inspection when Feng Wang, a massage parlor employee, be Became upset and began yelling at the inspector.
Wait, is this a real story? It is literally from WJHG channel whatever in Florida. It's a real news article, I kid you not. A court now back to the story. Police said Feng Wang tried to force the inspector out of the business.
When officers tried to detain Feng Wang, she began defecating towards officers. in an attempt to avoid being arrested. Feng Wang was arrested for battery on a specified official. What's Battery. I am made of questions right now.
How does one do that towards something. That Suggests There is force. To projectile it in a direction. Right? I don't know.
I don't know. I don't really. Don't really want to know. On the list of ideas on how to get away from cops. defecating towards them would probably be way, way, way.
Bottom. You're so going to get arrested. It's still battery. Even if it's with that, it's still battery.
So she was so totally arrested. As you can imagine, And uh she was taken to jail.
So yeah, that's not no. Oh my gosh, I have so many. Let's do a uh Okay, so I got a Florida man who stole a motorcycle from gas station employees and then returned only to threaten the guy with a knife.
So it wasn't enough that he had his bike stolen. The guy came back and was like, I'm going to cut you. with a knife. He wore it hanging around his neck. What?
I need to know more about the knife. Was it like a pocket knife? Was it a switch? Like, what was it? Uh, anyway, uh they uh They should have solved their dispute without that, but no.
The authorities are holding the guy without Vaughan. He had a restraining order, which enhanced everything.
So, a USPS driver tries to run over a 10-year-old bringing the wrongly delivered package to the right home. The postal worker thought that he was a porch pirate. Yeah, this is in Florida. The guy was arrested. I mean, he's got a mug shot and everything now.
The 10, it's not just a simple oops. This is according to ABC affiliate WEAR channel. I don't know which one. The boy was bringing the package to his neighbor's house because they dropped it off to his house by accident. And William White is accused of trying, he's 41, accused of trying to hit the 10-year-old in Escambia County.
He was riding his scooter with the package, the kid was, and he was returning it to his neighbor. White saw the boy with the package, thought he was trying to steal it, purposely drove his USPS vehicle towards the kid and ran over the scooter, narrowly missing the boy. The kid hurt his ankle when he tried to get out of the way and fell off onto the side of the road.
So that guy, he was screaming at the boy and everything.
So he, yeah, he was totally arrested. I doubt that he's going to be with USPS much longer or anymore. 5,500 bond. He was released on bond, but he's going back to court. That's insane.
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So I wanted to play, as you know, we had some of this that we took live yesterday. POTUS was in Dearborn, he was at the Uh he was at a uh a manufacturing facility. He was there at the Ford plant. And there's always some guy. Right, there's always some guy.
some dog faced pony soldier. Which, can I just sidebar real fast? I'm sidetracking myself. What does that even mean? I ask like legitimate old dudes.
who are in their 90s and they're like, hello vino. I went to the source, man. I was like, what? Can you gens explain what does this mean? Nobody knows.
It just, I thought it was like a saying from like the days of your. Apparently, it's not. I think he just made it up. It was word salad that made accidental sense, in a way, anyway.
So there's always, you know, he's at this plant.
Now Remember when Biden was at the plant, a guy didn't heckle Biden. A guy was asking Biden a tough question. And Biden acted like he was going to square up to him. Remember that?
So here's Trump. at the Ford plant. Biden's was performative and it looked weak. Trump's at the four. I don't know what this guy thought POTUS was going to do.
This guy starts heckling POTUS. Watch. Yeah. You need that meme where you put the glasses on him.
So he told him, I can't tell you what he told him. He yelled that the man should go and do something unflattering to himself, And then raise the one finger salute. Just didn't care. He's like, Yeah, we have you. Uh-huh.
You. Uh-huh. And here it is. Wait for it. Wait for it.
Wait for power. There it is. Hey everybody. Yeah, hey everybody after that. Hey guys.
I just gotta watch it again. And then Then he waves. Hey guys, it's just hysterical. I don't know what that guy thought was going to happen to him.
So he's at his job, right?
Now you're at your job.
Some of y'all are at work right now. You know, trying not to signal to everybody that you're a conservative. It's all right, go ahead and do it. But you guys are at your jobs. What would you guys do, your employer?
is accepting a visit. From the leader of the United States, right? The duly elected leader of the free world. And he shows up. And you guys decide.
You know, anybody at work, you guys decide you're going to. Um cause a problem. and act that way. How do you think that you would have been Would you have been disciplined? Do you think that your employer would have appreciated you acting like that?
I mean, I know we all know the answer, but for the left, sometimes the obvious things are just so shocking to them. Like, what do you mean I can't tell the President of the United States at my place of employment to which he was invited and received by my boss to go blank himself? What? Well, that's what happened to this dude.
So the dude in question Who did the heckling? I don't want to say he wasn't really just heckling, he was. Really, he was You know. Also, telling the president to go. He was calling him a pedophile and all this stuff, and saying some unflattering stuff to him.
It's a sport factory. Employee T J Cebulla, aged forty. was uh discipline. He was uh suspended. He said he had no regrets.
Ragrats, he uh was suspended. And he goes, no regrets. As far as calling him out, definitely no regrets. And I love these people. Listen to how they describe themselves.
Listen to this. Just the self-adoration, quote. I don't feel as though fate looks upon you often. and when it does, you better be ready to seize the opportunity. And today I think I did that.
End quote. Dude, you didn't save a child. You screamed invectives at the President of the United States. You didn't what does he think he's going to do other than giving me content to monetize on my airwaves today? What did you think you were going to accomplish by doing this?
You think you were gonna change the free world because you were calling him a pedophile? I mean, if he had Steve Bannon up there with him and you were shouting that to him, I mean, being BFS with Epstein, I would completely understand it. And I would say, well, no, less detected. But, you know, he was saying that to POTUS. Who does not have that history of that close association to the point where he was advising him?
So I'm just, you know, there's a little bit of a difference there. And a White House spokesperson told the Daily Mail, quote, a lunatic was wildly screaming expletives in a complete fit of rage. And the president gave an appropriate and unambiguous response. I think it's interesting what the spokesman said. Really feel like he should probably Check the definition of unambiguous because we all felt that it was pretty the opposite in a very entertaining way.
Now, someone with Ford said, quote, one of our core values is respect, and we don't condone anyone saying anything inappropriate like that within our facilities. When that happens, we have a process to deal with it. We don't get into specific personnel matters. Notice how on the right, no one's calling for this guy to be fired. If this was the left, they would, oh my gosh, they would want this dude burned on a pyre.
But it's not. I mean, Trump handled it. He was like, yeah, blank you, whatever. You, you, yeah. And then, whoop, that's so, that's, that was it.
But the guy, this is how the left thinks. They feel like they, it sounds like they're on their own little personal crusade. Every day they wake up. And it's like It's like they're on the Truman show. They feel like P the world is watching them.
I'm going to yell invectives at the President. I can't believe he said this quote. I bet he has a live, laugh, love sign in his house. I don't feel as though fate looks upon you often. What?
What? Do you think that POTUS is going to go get on Air Force One? That guy yelled at me. I've got to reconsider everything in my life. No!
No! First off, that goes to show you what a schmuck you are, dude. Because POTUS, everybody has a currency, right? This is one of the things that I discovered with my kids early on. I have a currency, everybody's a currency.
It's the thing that you can use. to move somebody. Right? So of my kids, one of them, criticism is the worst thing that you could ever do. Just like lightly criticize something, and it's, oh my gosh.
The other kid does not even care about criticism, doesn't care. He is bought and sold by positive reinforcement.
Now I'm one of those people who I don't care about criticism. I legit don't. I am a positive reinforcement person. In order to Get me to do Kane struggles with this. I'm like an untrained dog in some ways.
It has to be, you have to have positive reinforcement. That's just people work differently. Everybody's a currency. Trump's currency, he likes, he wants to be flattered, and he also likes positive reinforcement. I'm not saying this is a pejorative.
Everybody has it.
Some of you out there probably have the same things. It's not saying that you're a bad person. That's just what motivates you.
So, this guy yelling at POTUS at the Ford plant, first off, if you're going to be some little crusader. You know, it felt like fate looked down on me, except fate didn't tell me exactly what to do, so I just acted like an A-double snakes. POTUS was never going to be receptive to anything like that. If anything, that just digs him in further.
So, great job, dude. You just actually probably set yourself back by 20 paces. Great job. These people don't, they all think like this. All of these people, if you watch on social media, which I try not to, they all record themselves talking into the camera.
Like, people are out there, like, oh my gosh, I wonder what Karen XYZ Jessica 972 on TikTok has to say about this issue. Oh, my gosh. And it's like some lady melting down while sitting in her pantry eating chips. I don't know why. This guy, listen to him.
You know, he looks in the mirror every morning and he's like, make it about you. Isa, I don't feel as though fate looks upon you often. And when it does, you better be ready to seize the opportunity. And today I think I did that. Whatever makes you sleep easier at night, dude.
You go ahead and you tell yourself that. That's all right. It sounds like he's writing a letter to his family from the front lines of the Civil War, and he throws in some Eminem lyrics. Just kind of shine it up and fades looked upon me, and I decided to scream pedophile at the President of the United States. I mean, on the same day that George, or that Bill Clinton, I almost said George Clinton.
Oh my gosh, that's hysterical. No idea why that happened. Verbal typo, but it ought to stay. But Bill Clinton, a day when he ignored a subpoena. You know, the guy who literally was.
In hot the have you seen some of those nasty photos? I don't like hot tubs and I don't like public pools. I don't like I like rivers and streams are fine 'cause it's flowing water, but hot tubs are people soup. It's gross. See Bill Clinton on all these bodies of water with all these other old dudes down at Pedophile Island.
Just so gross. Ugh, I'm sick.
Alright, so. The well, anyway, to add to that, they had a fundraiser for this guy because he got suspended, right?
So, what does the left do? The left loves rewarding. douchebaggery.
So He was suspended. And he said he had now rag rats. And now apparently there's a nice little fundraiser for him. They were trying to raise $90,000. Was all of it raised?
Because last night it was like 60-something. They started to go fund me. And let me see where it is right now. Oh my gosh, this is so stupid. No.
I hate everything.
So they increased it. I hate everything so much right now. I just want to break things. They started it at 90,000. They increased it to 250.
to two hundred and fifty thousand dollars. What do you think it's at right now? How much money do you think they got raised? Probably close to double from last night, I would imagine. Yeah, it's $333,363.
Like why he was suspended. For co f oh my gosh. And let's force him to release the Trump Epstein files.
Okay. Quick thing on this. Do I think it's stupid to campaign on releasing the Epstein files knowing? That you might not actually have the full authority to release them. And I'll explain that in a minute.
Do I think that action's dumb? Why, yes, yes, I do. Do I think that Trump is personally preventing the release of the Epstein files? No, because that's retarded. And do you want to know why it is?
Because it's a federal seal. It's federal court. It's been sealed. It's a sealed court document. You've got to have Congress get involved with this stuff.
Long story short, that's why they were voting on it. That's why they were doing this stuff. That's just so mind-numbingly stupid to think that. This is that That he's somehow preventing the release of it. That's separate from campaigning on it, because I think it's stupid to campaign on something, then you not follow through or say that, ah, well, it's not a big deal anymore.
Well, it was during the campaign.
So, It's crazy when you tell people. during the campaign that you're going to do. I know, jokes on them. They expect it to happen. But I'm just saying, it's actually not.
His within the realm of his authority to personally release it himself.
So that's what these people at this fundraiser don't quite understand. They don't understand that.
So They're like, they're trying to discuss how to, the donation beneficiary and all this others. This guy's got half a million dollars now. Almost half a million dollars. Because of this, he didn't lose his job. He was suspended.
And they act like he's a little crusader. Oh my gosh, he's a patriot. For what? Why is he a patriot?
Somebody gave, look at these donations.
Someone gave $5,000.
Some sucker gave five thousand dollars. I mean, if you can make a career out of going out and just, you know, showing your backside to everybody. I'm kind of curious. Man, Dr. Candace Owens got famous.
What? I'm kind of curious because we've seen how this fundraising and all the data that's come out over the last couple of years of some of these small money donations through Act Blue or whatever have been actually tied to the larger Soros Foundation, Tides Foundation, things like that. I wonder if there's any of that going on here. I I mean I don't know, might be. I'm curious.
I'm looking at these donations.
Some of the, can you imagine putting your name? I'm going to give money to this. This guy's not hurting for money. He's not losing. He's just suspended.
And it wasn't even suspended without pay. They're acting like they banished him to the wilds, away from the colony, away from like Roanoke. They banished him out to the wilds of the Northeast. Shut up. That's not what happened here.
Good night. But yeah, that's uh I it's pretty I don't know. I I I thought the way the POTUS handled it was funny. The guy was like I'm a political independent and I've never voted for Trump, but I've supported some Republicans. I don't care, and no, you haven't.
So He's going to be on the cover of Time Next. No, Tucker's going to have him on his podcast to talk about why the Jews are so bad. That's what's going to happen next. He's going to have this check's notes: TJ Sebullah on.
So, how is this all the Jews' fault? It's going to be the first question. During the holidays, it's easy for all the healthy habits to go out the window. Desserts, late nights, you name it. But now that the new year has begun, I have one easy suggestion to get you back on track.
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Get $200 off for a limited time when you use my link, covepure.com/slash Dana. That's C-O-V-E-P-U-R-E dot com/slash Dana. And now, all of the news you would probably miss, it's time for Dana's Quick Five. All right, so young Americans are unplugging and it's making them happier. Yay!
We're all so happy about that because I think it makes everybody happier. Gen Z, which I don't know if I see this as much as the people in this survey do, it said that they are leading the way when it comes to taking a digital detox. Despite growing up with smartphones, according to a new survey, 63% of Gen Z intentionally unplug the highest rate of any generation. 70% on average, 70% of time Americans spend online leaves them feeling disconnected and lonely. I believe that.
I think people spend way too much time online. It's a big issue in our house because the one way to just get me from zero, like super happy and chill, to I want to burn it all down is to bring your phone out at the table. I will literally take your phone and I will throw it across the blanking room. I absolutely will. And then I'll take it outside with a hammer and I'll beat it into bits.
That's one way to get me absolutely from zero to. and like a point seconds, point two seconds. Uh let's see. Are you dead? Because you need an app for that?
There's an app for everything.
Now you can check if your loved ones are still alive. Talking about being disconnected, you need an app to check whether or not the people that you like are dead. Apparently, an app asks users to check in by tapping a bright green button every two days to prove they're still alive. Because in an increasingly isolated society, everybody's terrified of dying alone. This is the stupidest thing.
We're in an isolated society. You know how to make that stop. You know how to stop it. Yeah, stop isolating. I'm gonna show you guys on the simulcast.
Like that. Why what? We're going to have to have a tutorial. Like uh how to, you know? Daniel Stern is charged with soliciting prostitution in a California motel.
He was in home alone. That's kind of okay. And Newsom Vast to stop a proposed billionaire tax in California. What a 180. Stick with us.
We got a lot more coming.
So I saw this, it first appeared on Facebook. And it's this leftist, and we're going to show you the video. And then. You need to pull up a chair. Because we're going to We're going to analyze the video.
This is a progressive who's trying to scare ICE agents by acting so hard. Watch. Dear ice. Here's a message from your friendly neighborhood leftist. Not all of us are going to stop at snowballs in the future.
So, maybe think twice before you just start randomly shooting into vehicles. Nice. Oh, my gosh. Hug that Magwell. Hug it.
Hug it. Look at his sloppy trigger. Oh my gosh. This man is frightened. Yeah.
Oh my gosh. And some of us aren't just going to f. randomly fire into things.
Some of us actually know how to aim. Except for me.
So, this guy is the biggest chode. I cannot ridicule this man enough. This guy is seriously a low-tee. female copulatory organ. In the dictionary, if you looked up Beta Cuck, it's this guy.
I've never seen a man get cucked by his own gun. But I just actually probably it's not even his. He probably rented it at the range. First off, the dude's fully supported of hugging that Magwell like he's going on a date with it. The trigger, I can't even do that.
He's like, all over the place with this trigger finger. 25 yards out with that kind of a scope, and the man takes that, he would be overwhelmed before he'd even get a second round off. What a D bag. I cannot believe that this guy put this On the internet, thinking that it was a flex. I've seen seven-year-olds shoot better than this female copulatory organ.
Look at him hugging the mag well. Look at him. Here's that sloppy trigger finger. Oh my gosh. This guy is not scary at all.
He needs to get a gun that he can handle if he's actually gonna shoot. Who takes that long? 25 yards out? And then he tries to brag about that absolute fecal grouping? 25 yards out with a scope.
Oh my gosh. He's all supported, all standbacked up in his indoor range. I bet it went even 25 yards. I bet it was like 15. How much he went?
Actually, I don't even think that this guy put holes through a paper target. I think he had his boyfriend peg it, the target, that is. His boyfriend poke the holes in the target. No, it's not Friday. Can't direction.
That's right. Is that guy scary? No, that guy's not scary. That guy's sad. He's actually from Missouri.
Uh and uh Man, of course you know the internet did its thing. That was lame and gay. I mean, actually that's mean to gay people who shoot. That's lame. That's so bad.
I just, who are these people? He's like, go to this torch. He calls himself liberal trucker or whatever. What an insult to truckers. But he actually was threatening to shoot ICE agents.
And he's acting like can you believe he's sitting here lecturing about tactics? This is one of the most embarrassing things. He's a FUD. He is a straight-up FUD. And uh And this guy's gonna s I'd rather hear Biden talk about shooting stuff off his balcony.
Bike. Just fire up a couple shots in the air. And then he's like five days later, still acquiring target. He's all over the place with this. Oh my gosh.
And then he tries to flex and brag about it. I don't think anybody needs to worry about these guys. Yeah, I don't really think anybody needs to worry about him. He does all these videos and he's got these tells. He's got his D-bag little earrings and he does this.
You, if you're watching the simulcast, you can't see what I'm doing, but he has these little ticks because he's a basic B. And he does like a bounce before his camera starts, like every single time, like get me, whether he's sitting down or whatever. It's just annoying. Learn how to shoot. Get a gun that you can adequately handle.
and learn how to shoot. And also don't threaten to kill people. I get it that leftists get off on that and they love talking about, not just talking about killing people, but they love killing people, whether it's for their free speech, whether it's ICE agents, they love trying to do it. You can't, it's only coming one way, folks, so it's not an exaggeration. But I'm going to tell you something.
Don't be an idiot like this guy. Because these guys believe their own bravado. He's not even a man, he's just literally a female copulatory organ. Uh uh we'll we'll call him uh uh FCO. Cause FCO's like this.
They talk a really good game. But when you screw around with someone who does know what they're doing, The people you're talking about aren't the ones that are going home and buying bags, you are.
So don't be stupid. Don't be stupid and be stupid online and encourage other people to be as stupid as you are. Don't lecture people about tactics when you can't even manage the gun. You can't even handle the damn recoil of the rifle you're holding. Don't talk about ICE agents and sending people home when you're like terrified shooting at an indoor range 25 yards out with a crap grouping.
You don't even need that kind of big old scope for that overcompensating for much. I mean, I get that you might need that scope to find his manhood and dignity, but not the target at 25 yards out in an indoor range. Yeah, you need a way bigger scope to find you know the four m afore mentioned. But this is stupid. All these people that talk so tough online.
Is it about saving lives and de escalation or not? Because you will find yourself sideways one day if you keep that up with somebody who does know what the hell they're doing. And it will not go well for you. at all whatsoever. This guy's getting dragged online.
He got, I posted it on Instagram, and oh my gosh, my folks on Instagram dragged him six ways to Sunday. It was like the funniest reality show ever reading some of these comments. But this guy. People need to, this is the left needs to not be like this. They've done enough stuff like this.
If you dislike what the law is, A, win elections without cheating. B, You actually have to change and modify law that you dislike, and you're not going to do that by threatening to kill the people that are enforcing the law that are made by the lawmakers elected to office by the voters. When you do stuff like that, you're not just attacking like the agents, you're attacking the voters. Because the voters, like me, voted for this.
So you're attacking innocent Americans while simultaneously pretending that you're some kind of like, you know. Crusader. I mean, it's just embarrassing. And last but not least, never, ever, ever post a crap video of yourself not being able to handle the recoil of a rifle with an overcompensating scope 25 yards out, having a crap grouping, and you can't even reacquire the trigger. It is one of the most embarrassing things I've ever seen in my life.
And if this guy had a little bit more sense, more brain cells, and a little more dignity and self-awareness, maybe he would have realized that and deleted it before it went viral. But alas, here we are. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Be rather.
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And officials are caught rewriting the report on last year's LA wildfires to make themselves look better. I'm Greg Corumbus, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the 3 Martini Lunch podcast. We'll give you the top news, some good laughs, and we'll be done in less than 30 minutes. Follow the 3 Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
