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Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. Yeah. It's time for Florida Man.
Alright, so first up. We've got, oh I've got a couple things here. I don't even know where to start.
So we had A 36-year-old Florida woman who was arrested on child abuse charges because police say that she held a six-year-old boy's head underwater at a hotel pool in Kissimmee, Florida. And they were called to the Gaylord. Authorities said they were called to the Gaylord Palms Resort. Witnesses reported that the child. Uh, was forcibly submerged by the woman because he was bullying her non-verbal autistic son.
And Kane's expression just totally changed.
So she got involved. Investigators and surveillance videos showed her placing her hands on the kid's shoulders and putting him underwater for a couple seconds, and it left him upset, et cetera. And then she yelled the boy's mother and then left the pool area. She was charged with child abuse and released on bond with conditions that include no contact. The first thing is: where were the parents, number one?
And if the parents don't get involved, I don't think, sorry, that wasn't child abuse. That was just her defending her kid. Either you control your kid or someone's gonna whoop your kid's ass. That's the way it is. That's the way it is.
So I think that's ridiculous that they charge her with this personally.
Now, I will say, I think the caveat should be: did she try to get the parents' attention? I mean, you can't just like, you know, drop, not pay attention to your kids. Like, come on. This is crazy. But apparently, and according to witnesses, Um The nonverbal autistic son that of this woman's had been bullied by this kid, and then she had enough and apparently intervened.
So. Yeah, you know, you buy the ticket, take the ride. I'm just saying, a Florida man in red lingerie hit a gun under prosthetic silicone boobs. And yeah, this one I may have to save. He said he was going to a costume party, but then when deputies asked for further details, Matthew Zaccarino, 39, then he stopped talking.
He stopped talking about that. I have video with this. Sheriff Grady Judd talking about it. We're going to play that freedom up. Oh.
Welcome back. Happy New Year. I hope you all had a blessed. New Year. A wonderful Christmas.
I know I really enjoyed the break. It was necessary. It it was a very necessary break and uh to recharge and kind of refocus and reset.
So, but it is really good to be back with you guys because I was getting particularly antsy. I think when Kane starts noticing that I'm sending things to Slack at like one in the morning, That it's all right. Jeez, it's time to get back. I mean, it's not like we don't have anything to talk about. You know what I'm saying?
I mean, there's been ever the the there has been a huge Hemispheric Shift. That just occurred in the past few days.
Now, that's just as it pertains to Venezuela. We're going to be talking about Iran. We're going to be talking about the Somali pirates, sorry, the Minnesota chapter of the Somali pirates, because you know that that's their chapter up there. We're going to get into all of that. And of course, the Mandani inauguration, but first and foremost, the invasion of Venezuela and the capturing of Maduro.
Now, if you are a subscriber to the newsletter over at Substack chapter and verse, you have that already. And you have all of that. You got the rundown. That's why it's incredibly important to sign up for that newsletter because you get all of that important stuff. This uh it was a pretty daring raid.
A very daring raid. And No fatalities on our side. And it culminated with Nicholas Maduro being paraded in front of the press in sweatpants, which I, that's one of my worst nightmares. Just, I can't even imagine going out in public and sweatpants. I just, I don't know, it's a thing.
I just don't, I'm not a sweatpants kind of wear in person.
So the uh uh whole thing, the way that it unraveled. And the fact that it was lightning fast and surgically, it's surgical precision, no fatalities, the way that it went down, plucking him out of his fortress.
Now, Full disclosure, he did ask for it. Did he not, Kane? Yeah. Maduro did ask for it back in August. He made a big, well, he was boasting.
He was running his mouth. This is what bad guys do, and it never works out for them. He was boasting about this. And saying that, well, come to Miro Flores and come get me. Listen, this is what he said in August.
Bang up for me! Aquí los para mira flore, los entar dejars vomarte! He said, coward. This was the meme that they also came out with. Yes, the White House did.
Play. A little bit of a biggie there. No lyrics censored, which is why we immediately had to get out of it. Because uh the White House can post it. And but I don't think Chairman Brendan Carr is gonna like that too much.
He did call, don't call down the thunder if you don't want the thunder. I'm just saying.
Now, I know that everybody, and I'm going to get to everything because everybody has been kind of reveling. in the way that this was carried out. There are some other implications to consider. And also, everything can still go sideways. I'm not here to rain on your parade, but I am here to bring perspective.
I always believe in spiking the football. I also think that this is one of the ballsiest moves that we've seen in A long time.
Now, I'll say too, going after bin Laden, that was a pretty big deal. I didn't oppose that. And that was under a Democrat president. I mean, I didn't oppose that to the point where in downtown St. Louis, where I lived at the time, I ran up and down the street playing Team America, blank, yeah.
At like 11 o'clock at night. I'm sure my neighbors were all up anyway. I'm sure they loved it. But. There's The way that it was conducted, and I, one of the reasons that Maduro was able to run his mouth like that is because nobody, there hasn't been a leader.
That has held him to account. This has been going on since before Maduro, though. This is what people need to realize. He was not, first of all, he was not the duly elected president. He was not the legitimate president.
He lost the election, even with all of the fraud and the oppression and the suppression and everything else. He didn't win an election. He just refused to hand over power. He's a dictator.
So he was never the elected president. He refused to hand over control. But All of this, you know, this Operation Absolute Resolve. What had been going on in Venezuela, and we're going to dive into the energy portion of this coming up. It's really Heartbreaking.
We have a lot of friends. I don't know why, but we do. We have a lot, not like we portioned everyone out, but. When we were talking to our friends, I realized there were a significant number of our in-person real-world acquaintances who are either from Venezuela or first-generation American from Venezuelan parents. And they are just ecstatic over this.
They were. Overjoyed is is not even a word that I think properly contains how they felt. One of our friends is an Olympic shooter. Who who had to flee Venezuela after her shooting coach was telling her, you're not even going to be able to compete much longer because they were disarming everyone. I mean, it just even even competitive shooters, which is a nightmare.
This is a country that has. Probably Some of the greatest resources on planet Earth. They sit, Venezuela sits. on the world's largest oil reserves. The Orinoco Belt.
It's a heavier, kind of sludgier, specialized crude. It's a little bit harder to extract. But there are reserves that they sit on. is greater than all of OPEC combined. The gold, the copper.
You can see why everyone wants to be friends with Venezuela. And with this administration, and this is what I think Republicans and Trump himself need to be very careful about messaging forward. Remember, you are talking to multiple generations of people who either served in Iraq, served in Afghanistan, had parents that served in Iraq or Afghanistan, or family members, or who grew up. With the looming story every day of Iraq and Afghanistan. Mission, creep, etc.
Now I'm not comparing the two. But There has always been a good reason why conservatives and libertarians. Notice, I'm not saying Republicans, but conservatives and libertarians have always been very hesitant. With anything that even so much as looks like it's nation building, and for good reason.
Now, everything that I'm hearing from POTUS, that's not what this is. It is an individual who was hanging on to control that he did not win. And killing people who opposed him. An individual whose equally murderous predecessor. nationalized the oil industry in Venezuela, which I will have you remember includes billions upon billions upon hundreds of billions of dollars of American infrastructure because the United States and Venezuela had partnered together.
on energy. And then when Hugo Chavez nationalized oil and gas in Venezuela, they confiscated that. There were only a few companies that actually took a minuscule buyout. I mean, ultimately, they lost billions of dollars. And why I say it's heartbreaking is because the people of Venezuela, there is no excuse for any of them to live at the poverty level or anywhere close.
I mean, for crying out loud, you're a coastal nation. You have a beautiful beachfront. You're in the southern part of the Caribbean for crying out loud. I mean, Inya wrote a song about you, essentially. Orinoco Fla.
I mean, come on. I mean beautiful, gorgeous country, rich. history, very friendly, lovable people. Untold natural resources. There is zero reason.
For anyone in their country to be living even near the poverty level. But this is what. This is what tyranny brings you. That's a reason why they haven't been able to actually expand extraction in the Orinoco belt. It's one of the reasons why they haven't been able to expand extraction as it pertains to gold and copper, because of the politics, because of the negotiations, because of the corruption.
And so When you look at the United States, And its close proximity to Venezuela. I can't remember who said it. the day that it happened and I was trying to remember, but someone had said, That Oh, you don't want to have the nicest house in the bad neighborhood.
Now that makes sense. I mean, it's not a very long flight from Miami to Venezuela to Caracas. It's not a very long flight at all. There's a reason why China wanted to get a toll hold there, a reason why Russia wanted to get a toll hold there. We're going to talk more about that.
All of this, though, does make Joe Biden's slam on Maduro back in 2020 just look all the more ridiculous. You remember this? I mean, Biden was saying, Biden didn't do a single thing. He didn't do a single thing. Nothing.
I mean, they went from opposing Maduro And like Raskin, Jamie Raskin said, his assault on the electoral process and free speech. They try to call him right-wing. Did you know that? Democrats have been trying to brand this for forever. Joe Biden saying Trump talks tough on Venezuela, but admires thugs and dictators like Nicolas Maduro.
As president, I will stand with the Venezuelan people for democracy. Joe Biden stood with the Venezuelan people just about as well as he stood with the Iranian people during the Green Revolution. Just about as well, which meant not at all, really. Remember, this is flashback Chuck Schumer, Cut 16. going after Trump.
Listen to this. He brags about all these things he wants to do or is doing. But his actions belie his words. Maybe the best metaphor was his claim to bring democracy to Venezuela. There was a big policy there.
It flopped. Hmm. If the policy was working, Juan Guido wouldn't be in the balcony here. He'd be in Venezuela. He'd be sitting in the president's palace.
Or at least waging a fight to win. He's here. And the President brags about his Venezuela policy? Give us a break. He hasn't brought an end to the Maduro regime.
The Maduro regime is more powerful today and more entrenched today than it was when the president began. And now it's not. As I said, I think it's very that POTUS needs to be very careful as well as other Republicans in terms of how they message on this. This isn't actually about a regime change because the regime that's in place was not one that was duly elected by the people. Remember, he didn't win.
He held control of power. He wouldn't relinquish it.
So it's not a really regime change. You could say that it is helping a neighbor in the restoration of their liberty, which without sounding too much like hell divers, you know, democracy restored, without sounding too much like hell divers. It very much is helping your neighbors so that because it benefits the United States to have healthy neighbors.
Now, who's going to run Venezuela? We don't want another stooge. That's the other issue. When you took out Chavez, when Chavez passed away, you have Maduro, you're going to have a ton of little Maduros and Chavez that's waiting to take their spot. You don't want to essentially restore something, you know, status quo or worse.
China is also big mad.
Now, all of this happened while a Chinese delegation, CCP delegation, was in Venezuela. Remember, Venezuela is part of the Belt and Road Initiative with China. They were there in the country. We're going to tell you what China had to say, democrat reactions. And why is this case being decided in the Southern District of New York?
which is where Maduro is being held. This is Rob Grankowski from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jules. Sunday mornings are sacred. I've got my game day routine. Coffee, jersey laid out, and my lucky playlist.
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It's time for Dana's Quick Five.
So apparently two women at Red Rocks got into a giant fight over a selfie spot. It was at Red Rock Canyon. It turned ugly because a little argument over selfies and who was in the selfie spot first escalated. And then there was an Italian tourist and a Nevada woman, and they got into a huge fight. And apparently, a park ranger had to show up, and one was screaming assault at the other woman, and it was so completely out of control.
Um, yeah, how long does it take to take a selfie? I, dude, I don't even know. I don't get what some of these people do. Just stop with your selfies. People have fallen into the Grand Canyon doing this stuff before.
I don't know. Maybe we should encourage it more, but I don't know. An Arizona Supreme Court was evacuated after a package tested positive for explosives. This is crazy. They also evacuated a nearby Department of Education building.
This was in downtown Phoenix. Authorities investigated the package. It tested positive for explosives yesterday. It began when they found the package with no return label in the mailroom. And a retired FATF agent in charge said that, you know, it's standard operating procedure to, you know, when you get a suspicious package to test it.
And then everybody freaked when it came back, like, oh, yeah, there actually is something to it.
So it did apparently have legitimate chemical traces on it. It wasn't like a false positive.
So they're investigating, that's kind of crazy. They're investigating that. How did it even get in the mailroom? That's the other, I mean, I'm sure they'll find that out, but let's see. Ooh, a man killed himself at Walt Disney World, according to the sheriff.
It was 8:55 p.m. It was found the day after New Year's, and it was at the Walt Disney Walt Disney World property. And they're Apparently, it was right around the Disney Springs near some warehouses. And it's just sad. They're still investigating.
What is it? Like the third time? Maybe it won't. In the past, like six or seven months, that somebody's done that at a Disney World. It's like that Japanese forest.
Everybody just goes there and off themselves. It's crazy. Let's see. Ooh, the first country in the world ended its postal service after 401 years, following a 90% decline in letters. And that, of course, is Denmark.
They had all 1,500 mailboxes across the country. It said apparently they sold them. And that's it. The last letter ever delivered was handed over by a veteran post-work postal worker. That was just a couple of days ago when their dispatch ended their four-century-long service because apparently nobody sends that.
Everything's digital, everything's electronic. That's kind of the way it is. That's the way it's going here. But instead, we just dump money into it over and over and over again, which is. Doesn't make any sense, but okay, that's what, that's just what we do.
We'll just continue funding it. But they, that's, that's. I figured, I think that'll happen like within the next 20 years here. And as we said earlier, Corporation for Public Broadcasting is officially dissolved. It is no more.
They were the ones who funded PBS and NPR and all of that stuff. And so now they're officially dissolved. This is Rob Gronkowski from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jules. Sunday mornings are sacred. I've got my game day routine.
coffee, jersey laid out, and my lucky playlist. But the real game changer? New morning uncrustable sandwiches. I've always loved uncrustable sandwiches, and now I'm all about the new flavors with 12 grams of protein. Bright-eyed Barry, or Up an apple.
Bright eyed berries got that flashy, finessey vibe. Like your favorite slot receiver. Up an apple. Tough and reliable. Like a do-it-all tight end.
And players love them. Did you know teams crush over 80,000 uncrustable sandwiches a year? They know it's good. It's a snack that can go with you anywhere from the couch to the tailgate or even in the locker room.
Soft bread, yummy fillings, protein-packed. Once it's part of your ritual, you don't skip it. Easy enough for Gronk to grab straight from the freezer. Your new Sunday kickoff ritual starts here with the new morning uncrustable sandwiches. Packed with 12 grams of protein.
I think I'm gonna start. Wait, you know what? We're clearly in the wrong business. I need to start a learning center where it's like Zoolander, right? It's for kids who can't read so to read so good, learn how to read.
To learn how to read. I that was the first thing. I thought of when I And when I I I looked at this and I'm like, wait, where's the N? It's the Derek Zoolander Cinder for kids who can't read read good and want to learn how to do other stuff good too. The learning center.
While all of this was happening, all of this fraud, was coming to play. Isn't it just crazy that they got robbed only of all of anything that could ever indict them or be used to prove their guilt, Kane? Can let's play this clip because One of the layering center managers spoke to the media. Can you believe that somebody legit just stole all of the enrollment and employee documentation only?
So crazy. Watch this. This is wild. Unfortunately, we saw that there was important documentation, enrollment of the children, and also. employee documentation that was gone.
There were also checkbooks that were ripped from Our check papers are from our book. This is devastating news. And we don't know why this is targeting our Somali community. As one video made by a specific individual made this all happen. No, what was the problem?
Hateful messages. through our voice notes threatening us.
So the past couple of days. including one that happened yesterday morning when the break-in, after the break-in. This is frightening and exhausting because This is happening to us Somali communities as Somali Americans. We are supposed to stand with each other and help each other. To everything that's happening.
That's why we helped each other to all this taxpayer money.
So they get busted for tons of fraud. And he's like, but we're Somalians and you're mean. Uh that's irrelevant. You're a thug and you stole from people. And you actually didn't run a any kind of educational facility at all.
So this guy, he's one of the daycare managers.
So isn't there? I have so much on this. There was a video that came out showing these guys like running out of a building, their faces covered and leaving because they saw that the reporters were approaching them.
So they said that, oh, his business got broken into allegedly. And allegedly, all the student enrollment allegedly was allegedly stolen, Kane. And all the employee documents, anything that would identify anything about anybody there was just taken. That's, you know, typically how robberies work. You mean all the things they could have used as proof of them being a legitimate business stolen?
So insane. That's like walking into a Kincaid's burgers and, you know, stealing every little signs off the wall that shows their business license and their health inspection and just leaving and not touching anything else. That's just exactly how crime works, right? Yeah, that's the Learing Center. Live, Laugh, Lear.
To me. Yeah. The larynx. Nobody believes this guy. I feel like I'm watching an SNL skit.
Nobody believes this guy at all whatsoever. Millions, billions, billions of dollars. billions of dollars. And he's saying that Well, just can you believe it? I mean, these people, I don't even think his glasses are real.
How much do you want to bet those are just like glasses that he got on Amazon? I don't even think his glasses are real. I didn't believe that. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Resolve to make identity, health, and wealth part of your new year's goals with Lifelock. Save up to 40% your first year. Visit lifelock.com/slash iHeart. Terms apply. This is Julie Nettleman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jules.
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