This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturalist. That's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bo and Yang from Los Culturist with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey Bowen, it's gift season! Ugh, stressing me out.
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Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Keltech. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. Yeah. It's time for Florida Man.
So imagine you're driving down the highway. And um Then a plane lands on you. As you're driving down the highway, that literally happened. In Florida, this was just a couple of days ago. in Brevard County.
A there's a video of it as well, where a plane crashed down from above. onto a car. as the woman in it. Was driving down this busy Florida interstate, and that is the video of it.
Somebody just happened to get the video. Can you? imagine now look at how fast that came up on that car too I mean, you would only have. Maybe like a second to react. By the time you saw that plane in your rearview mirror, To the time that it landed on you, what it came, you would have like maybe a second to that was so fast.
That's so fast. Coming from ground level, which is where most of your mirrors are pointed. The driver, a 57-year-old female from Melbourne, Florida, was transported to the hospital with minor injuries. The pilot, a 27-year-old male from Orlando, And the passenger, also 27, were not injured. They remained on scene.
They are looking into the investigation. I mean, that's what I think people are told to find a highway or a stretch of land to land on if there's a problem.
So I think that there was a multi-engine aircraft, specifically a Beechcraft 55 Baron, according to FlightAware, and it crashed down on this Toyota Camry, 23 Toyota Camry. And it was trying to make an emergency land. And apparently, according to WESH Channel 2, there was an engine issue. They reported engine issues. to uh the tra to uh br burr air traffic control.
And that's, yeah.
So, thankfully, no one was seriously injured, but that is terrifying.
Well, I mean, I don't, you don't even have time to get over, you have no time to get out of the way from that. A Florida man. Went hog wild. on a palm beach street. He records videos of himself eating raw animal meat.
for social media content because why not? And he was arrested Monday of this week because he cut open a dead hog and bit into its flesh. That's. Uh good luck with that. Mm.
He brought it to a public sidewalk. And that's a super fancy area, Palm Beach. It was like near Mar-a-Lago. That's super fancy. And apparently began tearing chunks out of the animal through a slit in its neck.
and a female saw it. She called the cops. Sheep because they thought he was cutting up a German shepherd, which I don't know how you get that, but okay. Like, have these people seen animals? I don't.
And so they police, they found probable cause because it was a potential biohazard because it had blood and guts all over the sidewalk.
So he was booked in the county jail, $2,000 bond. He pled not guilty to a misdemeanor. and he said it was minuscule, etcetera. I just don't know what the point He goes that the consumption of raw animal parts was a traditional African diet, and Spartans drank pig blood.
Okay, well, you know, you can do that not in the street. Right. I don't understand what how your content suffers if you did it like a normal person on your own property and not like out in the middle of the street. That doesn't make any sense. Like you're that's not a flex.
No. What is Florida, man? I don't know.
So In addition to that, you know, grandma got run over by a bright line. What?
So this was a Christmas parade. It was a bright line. I don't know what that is, some kind of company float. and uh the 2025 Stewart Christmas Parade. on Friday of last week.
And uh Apparently Another the parade goers, a flip sponsored by the Family Foundation, stood out with a bull jab upright line, which is a high-speed rail service, and apparently, uh, They had grandma getting run over by a bright line. That was their float.
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Cinnamon raisin biscuits are back. Unwrap them while you can. Only for a limited time at participating restaurants. People are terrorizing our fing city and then coming into Mexican fing restaurants. And yeah, people are concerned.
People are concerned.
Well going somewhere else. You racist motherfucker. Going somewhere else, go to f ⁇ ing Cracker Barrels. Take your racist asses to f ⁇ ing cracker barrel. I want to know what this lady looks like because the camera.
She's, you know, has the camera pointed. the opposite way. She's This crazy woman is going nuclear on ice at Chipotle or As Al Sharpton would say, Chipolet. Chipotle. Siganore Weaver.
Still my favorite. I uh I gotta say. I really want to know what she looks like. She sounds unhealthy. Let me just go that far.
She kinda sounds, you know, a little unhealthy. gotta say. Gotta say. I um Just who goes into a restaurant like this, first off? Get over your damn self.
She goes into a restaurant and those dudes are just eating at Chip-A, by the way. Gotta say it like Al Sharpton. They're just eating at Chipotle. And she walks in there and is creating all these problems. And look, other people are looking at her like, what are you doing?
No one else is in this. She's by herself. If we don't get no justice, they don't get no peace. Bish. Yeah.
Be quiet. ruining peop they're eating at Chipotle for crying out loud. What would you do? I would be mad if somebody started interrupting my meal. I mean, I'd be finishing my meal.
But I think I would I would joyfully finish it just to enrage them further. I mean, it's up to the restaurant owner, in my opinion. But yeah, if there was any sort of direct encounter She'd be regretting that she'd attempted. She'd be FO and. Man, if that was a waffle house That was a Waffle House.
It wouldn't uh it wouldn't be going over so well. No. I don't think that you would have that many polite people. If somebody'd be flipping over the counter, They'd be covering and smothering them hash browns and flipping over the counter to whoop you down. That's how that would go.
But she went insane. I was reading that I was watching this video. And She's just like stormed in there. And by the way, What kind of food is chipotle?
Well, it resembles Mexican. That's not Except it's not a Mexican place. Yeah. It's not really a Mexican. I do know that my Hispanic friends do not consider it to be a Mexican restaurant.
That is a fact. I know that much. Yeah. If we are like, hey, let's go to a Mexican restaurant tonight, Chipotle is not going to be on the suggested list. If you want them to give you a look of utter bewilderment, You do that.
You suggest a Taco Bell and a Chipotle. Watch the look you get. They're nice, so they're not gonna be like you stupid, but they're gonna give you a look. It's just not what not what it is. It's not.
Yeah. That's like uh Having a totino's and thinking you're getting you're getting a Napoli pizza. Not the same. It's from Italy. It's from Italy.
It's Fred Gilay.
So I first thought it was that Jennifer Welch lady. Her face is so frozen. I'm not like judging ladies on getting Botox, but I'm just saying when you do, you don't need to freeze your whole face, especially when it's like pursed like an anus. You don't really need to freeze it in that form, you know, in perpetuity. I'm saying the things that you guys are thinking.
Don't do that to me. Don't be doing that to me. Y'all are thinking it. Cain over here trying to act like he's. Come on, you thought it first.
You can't hide the cringe sometimes. Succulent Chinese meal. Just trying to. Enjoy it. Isn't that what Jennifer Welch, that lady?
And I only know it because I'm looking at her name here. She's the one I'm talking about. Like, she can't move her face. She can't raise her eyebrows. The only thing she can do is just like open her eyes real big.
Again, I'm trying not to be mean, but I and I don't. I'm not begrudging. I know we got ladies in the audience, but I'm just saying, you don't need to be freezing it up to the point where you can't even emote. To where you just gotta make your eyes pop out of your head for expression. It's not the same thing.
But isn't she one of the people who was like, don't You don't get to eat it. Mexican restaurants or something like that. Hasn't she, isn't she one of, why does that become the talking point right now? She also said you should go to only Cracker Barrel.
So this.
Sounds like a hefty big-boned girl in the video. Hmm. She's just basically repeating that you know, frozen-faced interior designer. Right? She learned it from watching her.
Learned it from watching you. Every I don't know. I'm trying. Oh my gosh, I'm trying to be so nice because it's so close to Christmas and the fates are testing me. The owners of these.
Restaurants, whether it's a Mexican restaurant or not, they don't care who's in there to spend money and eat their food. They literally don't care.
Now, there will be some. You know, business owners that have pushed ISOT, I've seen those videos. Where they don't allow ICE into their business. Completely legal to do. That's fine, unless they're there.
For a federal operation or something. And again, and they only, and really. The people that they're detaining are people who Have committed multiple crimes. They commit the crime of also entering illegally, but then they keep committing crimes. And I realize that the left is trying to tell everyone a different story, but that's, I mean, if you go and look at the people that have been detained and then deported, Do you really want some of those people?
Like there was a guy who had, how do you get five DUIs? How does that happen? By being let go after the fourth one. Can you if you're and I don't again, I don't know how that whole I don't know if it's like a three strikes and you're out thing, but if you, so if you have DUIs, don't you get your license suspended? And don't they, I mean, aren't you like arrested and doesn't it?
Isn't it an enhanced charge because it's a repeat offense? I thought so. That's what I thought too.
So how did there was a guy who was it was caught he was caught near Houston. and deported. And he had five GUIs. He had been deported twice previously. How do you have, how do you get five DUIs?
And and like he could have killed people. I mean, some of them have. They come here illegally and then they drink and drive, and oh my gosh.
So, when they're going and apprehending these people, they're, I mean, I people can criticize Trump all they want. But You got to be honest about it. They're getting those people. Those are and they're not just dangerous to you know to one specific Demographic, they're dangerous to everybody, including legal immigrants and people who join the American family and are Hispanic. I mean, come on.
I don't know.
Why is it always these like Progressive white broads that do this stuff. Right? It's the progressive white broads that are with the immigration. It's the progressive white broads that are like, we like Candace. Because it's like they're trying to prove that they're not racist by going over the top with this stuff.
Liberal white women are the worst. Dude, as we head into the holidays, it's not just about gifts. It's also about gratitude, reflection, and protecting what really matters: your family, your future, and your financial security.
So, Colin Plume at Noble Gold Investments has explained how quickly things have changed this year: markets, inflation, even job security. Your money should be working for you, not fighting against you. And with gold on the rise and the dollar slipping, it's clear why generations have turned to gold and silver to help bring stability to their financial future. When you're sitting around the table with your family, it's only natural to think about protecting what you've built so it's still there for your kids and your grandkids. Before you check out for the holidays, though, do one smart thing for your future: visit noblegoldinvestments.com/slash Dana and download their free gold and silver guide.
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I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. Why do you guys think you win so many cases? The insurance companies and other companies that we go against know that we're going to take it to the end, that we believe in the case.
So we fight for every dollar and we're not afraid to go that extra mile for our clients. Are insurance companies like actually afraid of you guys? We don't bluff. We take it to trial and we are not strangers of getting very, very, very large verdicts. Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound529 from your cell phone. Our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.
Visit forthepeople.com for an office near. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. All right, so first up here, ooh, why is this freezing? We've got a man who is jailed in Switzerland.
For 10 days, for everyone who thinks Switzerland's so great. He got thrown in jail for 10 days because he posted that men and women's skeletons are different. That's true. Don't, don't you say it. You're gonna go to jail.
You're gonna go to bad word jail. Yeah, this, yeah, the guy, it was, he asked this archaeologist if he could differentiate between two sets of bones as male and female. Um and the self-described Expert in the room said no, and then he was corrected by Emmanuel Brunusholz. Who said, basically, you're stupid. Yes, there absolutely is a difference.
And so he went to jail because he refused to pay a fine. He, and it was, he posted literally a Facebook comment noting the differences. And it was based on a scientific study that literally was looking in calcium deposits. I mean, it was super hyper-scientific. I didn't even, I actually was reading part of the study because I looked at this last night and I just, your bones are different.
That's the conclusion.
So you can't even cite fact anymore. That's how far gone Europe is. I mean, it's good to go. It's like you walk into a mausoleum when you go over there. You look at the museums and the crumbling society, and that's it.
Let's see, Eli Lilly is going to build a $6 billion manufacturing plant in Alabama. to make the, ooh, are they making a fat jab, a fat pill? and other stuff. They said that, I can't even pronounce this, or forgloprong. That sounds like I made it up, but it's real.
They said that they're racing to file for approval and maintain the dominance for the G Glip ones, GLP ones.
So, hmm. Women running marathons without veils in Iran has been compared to nudity by officials. Because they can't tell apparently a female copulatory organ from a woman's face, they're so inexperienced with human females. Maybe leave the goats alone for a little bit and go out and touch grass. We have a lot more on the way.
Stick with us. I'm gonna tell y'all something. First off, welcome back. to the program You can find the chat. Over at Rumble.
They'll cut you though, I'm saying. And then we got Kane laughs, but. Those are the first people we're calling when things go sideways. Uh and then channel three For what 47 DirecTV. It's only been a few years, you know, can't remember nothing.
YouTube, those where it's at. And of course, Facebook X. Find us Substack Chapter in Verse, definitely, because I got some good stuff up there. Can we?
So, this is what I'm mad about. Not mad, I'm aggravated. Every year. When by the time we get to The end of the year. Everybody's tired, right?
Everybody's tired. Everybody's, you know, you're fed up, and especially with the hyper-political insanity everywhere. You know, you're just kind of over it, right? I mean, when they started coming after Baby, it's cold outside, I was ready to, I was all ready to like get my hive scum shivs out and start wow, wow, wow. I think you're the only person who got that reference, Kane.
Thank you. But um Now now they're going after jingle bells. Oh my god. I can't even. First off, It's pretty secular, jingle bells, right?
It's jingle bells. Jingle bells and deck, you know, all that stuff. I feel like Sally from the from. Peanuts. But that's what it's about.
I I mean, it's jingle bells for crying out loud. It's one of the most innocuous songs. It's jingle bells. Horses in the snow, pulling the sleigh. etc.
So, this piece, I saw it from New York Post originally, and it's in your prep if you get the prep. Says She put this on Instagram And it's a guy in a Christmas sweater and a Santa hat. And apparently, the guy who did the song, this is the video. His name is James Lord Pierpont. He apparently did the song back in.
1650. And the guy says, This is where a racist Confederate soldier wrote jingle bells to make fun of black people, and it has its origins. and bigoted minstrel shows that were popular at the time. Uh this is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of. I mean One Horse Open Sleigh.
That was the original title, by the way. And it was first played in Boston in the 1850s. I can't believe I have to learn this kind of stuff. Cain. This is so goofy.
It was this Boston music publishing house that first did it, that first published it. And The guy wrote the this guy who, uh, James Lord Pierpont wrote the music and lyrics, etc., etc. His sister married some rich dude, blah, blah, blah. Uh, the guy wasn't the best guy, you know, the composer. He um He kind of had a temper, but he was the son of a big abolitionist, the Jingle Bells composer.
His dad was a big abolitionist. It's weird how she doesn't get that part right. Um, and uh, he was incredibly, uh, he was rebellious. He kind of rebelled against his dad. Uh, but I mean, why are we going this far back to talk about jingle flipping bells?
I just think that Joy Reed is the most basic white bitch I've ever. ever seen in my life. Just sitting around on her fat entitled backside trying to invent things to get upset about. That is just the height of first world problemism. It is the height of it.
What am I going to get mad about today? Let's see. Oh my gosh, jingle bells. Aww! What?
It's 2025. You're talking about something in the eighteen fifties. Can be whatever you want it to be. But she, her whole industry is racial grievance. I mean, she's, she's, you know, she's a little bit older version of Candace Owens, right?
It's all about racial grievance, because that's how she got started just a couple of years ago.
So with Joy Reed, if Joy Reed wasn't bitching about being a victim, she wouldn't be able to make no money. That's what this is. It's almost like, you know. A stage show of a different sort.
So now, what are we not supposed to do? She puts us up on Instagram. For what purpose? Other than just to be incredibly divisive. I mean, this is one of the most.
I'm not going to say Karen anymore, by the way. I'm going to say Candace. This is like the most Candace thing ever. And she's like, oh my gosh, you know, that's what this song is about. I feel like she's trying to be more and more over the top.
To make up for the fact that she, you know, she had her show canceled because nobody watched it, not even her own family, apparently. And she has to think of something, anything to just, you know, to sound controversial because controversy is news, and she can stay in the news cycle if she is delivering that controversy. It is so incredibly tired and cliched. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturalistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey, Bowen, it's gift season. Stressing me out. Why are the people I love so hard to shop for?
Probably because they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made. In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts! With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have. Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at Marshalls.
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