This is Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang from Las Culture. This with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. JBL Tor Pro 3 earbuds are for those who don't conform to the standard. Yeah, I mean, if you want to get into some touchscreen technology, how about the smart charging case, clear sound? These are not standard things.
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Yeah. It's time for Florida Man. All right, so um A man kidnapped at a Florida McDonald's. Hmm. Police pursuit across cities leads to five arrests.
including Miners, this seems like a pretty involved Wow.
So it was a kidnapping, a police chase, a multiple arrest in Florida because a guy was kidnapped from a McDonald's and that he was sitting inside of the restaurant. He was approached by some dudes who took his phone off a table, demanded he get in the vehicle to get it back. And after abducting him, they drove him. His name wasn't revealed, forced him out of the vehicle, beat him up, found somebody to call 911, report that he was kidnapped. I mean, it just goes on and on and on.
The police track the vehicle, blah, blah, blah. Long story short. They are Brought these people into custody. The charges are kidnapping, inflicting bodily. Oh my gosh, there's a lot.
I'm going to get to other stories. It's a lot, it's bad, just so you know, good grief. It's pretty insane. Uh also, let's see here this Who is this Jamal Bowman? The guy who broke in the wall.
Florida Middle School. and pulled a fire alarm. In Orlando. He was detained Wednesday of last week. He entered Meadowbrook Middle School unlawfully.
How were you able to get in there? And triggered a fire alarm. That makes me very nervous. Like, what if you go in there and what if you're able to get in there and you're you know, you're a bad dude, you're like the Parkland guy. Pull the alarm, everybody leaves and goes into the hallway.
And then, you know what I'm saying? This is bad. It's bad that this guy was able to get in there. Happened at 9 a.m. He went right through, apparently, the front entrance of the school.
How is this possible in 2025? When an administrator saw that he was an adult, they questioned why he was at the school. He passed her by, triggered the fire alarm in the lobby, and tried to open the doors leading to the school's courtyard. They called this the SRO. And then when he was confronted, he said, don't touch me, I'm not alone, and I'm not the only one that you have to worry about.
And then when they put him in the patrol vehicle, he bit the safety cushions. covering the prisoner cage.
So he's being charged with a whole bunch of stuff as well. Man, they better, at Meadowbrook, they better really reconsider their security there. That's bad. Let me explain something to white people. Our hair comes out of our head naturally in a curly pattern.
So when we're straightening it to follow your beauty standards, we are trapped by the straightness. That's why so many of us can't swim and we run away from the water. People won't go to the gym because we're trying to keep our hair straight for y'all. It is exhausting and it's so expensive and it takes up so much time Breeds are for y'all so we can work harder and focus on the work. Why do we need an act?
Does she ever just not bitch? Everything. Oh my gosh. All you white people. Everything's your fault.
Who's making her straighten her hair? What are you talking about? Who's making her is Beyonce have the same issue? Who's making anybody straighten their hair? Like we're That's you know what?
My hair is naturally curly. I get a keratin on my hair. every eight weeks. Nons just doesn't change. My hair texture is like, I don't know if you've seen Brave.
That movie, the little cartoon movie, and Merida, the little redhead, that's my hair texture. Naturally.
So, I don't want to hear anybody bitch about it. Shut up. I'm so tired of this nonsense. Michelle Obama was complaining last week about having a hair and makeup artist.
Now she's complaining. that she had to stri like I didn't realize that she's being forced by white women to straighten her hair. Why does she always have to be a victim? I have never seen such a silver spoon elitist. A rich kid.
complain about being victimized as much as she does. She is constantly, constantly victim. She is the victim. All every day. That has to get tiring to be in that house.
Doesn't it? Maybe that's why I never see her husband and kids around her, because all she does is bitch all the time. Oh my gosh, every day. And trapping black people in hair standards. that harm their capability to do work is actually a sentence that she said.
Is that I don't, I didn't feel like I had to be trapped into straightening my hair. I just it's just easier for me on T V. It's easier to do. It's easier to upkeep actually. Um I don't get it.
I don't know why it's always everybody else's problem, what you have to deal with. It's always everybody else's fault. If you have an issue, if you don't like someone about yourself, if you're mad about having to do your hair, how is that someone else's fault? My gosh. You know, there are people out there right now that are really hurting that would love to have that as a problem.
They'll trade you. Their sets of problems for yours. Just it never ends. It is um a major beauty industry. That's a major industry.
I have friends who get their hair straightened and then they wear their hair in braids or they'll do, they will have locks put in them, whatever. I mean, it's been all I mean, I've had friends who've changed their hair, you know, six ways to Sunday throughout a decade. Not an issue. I don't know why it is for her. I just get the feeling that she is a deeply unsatisfied person.
And she just seems very Resentful. Over what, I'm not quite sure. She grew up. And she's by my standard, she's a rich kid. She's a rich kid who grew up in a rich part of town with rich parents, and she had a richy rich education.
and she married another rich kid who's, you know, came from a banking family. And he went to a rich school. and they had everything handed to them on a silver platter. When I hear them talk about what they think poor is, I laugh my head off because that's not poor. It's just crazy.
And she always just seemed so mean and resentful and hateful. And I. W is she just mad 'cause she was expected to do something? I get Hillary vibes from her. That's where she and Hillary Clinton share They have this common denominator.
They're both very unlikable. They're very unlikable because that's the countenance. That's their... That is the aura that they emit. That's what they put out there.
They're just unlikable people. I've never seen a first lady complain so much in my life. Think about it. I mean, maybe except for Hillary. But Hilary complained about other people.
and politics, not to say that that's any better. Michelle Obama just complains constantly about everything related to herself. Everything comes back to her. You cannot bring up a singular issue with this woman without her bringing it back to something that she is aggrieved over with her. either her make up or her clothes.
or her hair. Or what she wanted to do over what Barack wanted to do. I mean, my gosh, she just sounds like a deeply aggrieved, unsatisfied woman. Maybe she's having a menopause fit. I don't know.
Maybe that's why she just seems so cantankerous. But I mean, it's true. Goodness. I I don't know. I I don't she said this, Jeeves is from the same thing.
This is a, she's saying she will not run for Prett. Listen to this. Oh boy.
Well, as we saw in this past election, sadly, we ain't ready. That's why I'm like, don't even look at me about running because you all are lying. You're not ready for a woman. You are not.
So don't waste my time. You know, we got a lot of growing up to do and there's still, I'm sadly, a lot of men who do not feel like they can be led by a woman and we saw it. There's a lot of women who don't want to be led by a woman, especially some of the women that have been promoted for this high office.
So it ain't just about men that's a sexist comment.
Some of us don't want to be led by no witches either. Let's be real. And she's like, well, they're not ready, not ready for you. What? No, we're just tired of putting up with you, complaining all the time.
Oh my gosh, bring something new to the table. It's the grievance Olympics with her every time. It's not that, look. It's not that people aren't ready for a woman president. There has not been a qualified woman to run yet.
Oh, get mad. It's true. There hasn't been a qualified woman to run yet. Kamala Harris, who had everything handed to her, she's a Nepo DEI hire. Hillary Clinton, who only got what she was because of her husband.
And she foobarred everything else. Go back and look how she foobarred healthcare during her husband's tenure. Oh my gosh, it was so bad, all the Congress ran away from her. She tanked herself. She had to hand her the Senate.
After that. And then Barack Obama did a head pat by making her Secretary of State, and then she foobarred that up. By backing the Muslim Brotherhood and creating all this destabilization in Libya after Gaddafi and in Egypt with the Green Revolution and all of that. There hasn't been a qualified woman on either side. To run.
There has not been a single female. that I personally think is qualified on either side that has thrown their hat in the ring. Not a one. And I don't see anybody. It's a rare type of woman.
I do not see a Margaret Thatcher among us. I don't. At all. I have high standards. I don't want to put just any old B in there.
I have high standards. And that is a tough job to do. How do you have masculine energy? to do the job while retaining your femininity. How are you still how are you able to juggle all that?
It's tough. Women Biologically. That's not a temperament that we have. It's not a temperament that men have to take on that role that women usually go to. It can be done, but it's just, I haven't seen one yet.
It doesn't mean that there's not one out there or one to come. I just have not seen one yet. I have not seen it from any of the women that have thrown their hat in the ring thus far. Democrats or Republicans. Not a one.
Everybody is too sensitive and they have bad instincts and they are not eloquent speakers and they have bad policy ideas and they think even some on the Republican side think that having a vagina is enough of a resume, bullet point on a resume, and it's not. You have to be able to deal with all of the attacks that come your way without. putting it down to you being a woman.
So it's not that People aren't ready. Women aren't ready. People can take exception to that all they want to. It doesn't make me any less correct. I haven't seen one yet.
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It's time for Dana's Quick Five. Yeah. This is how this stuff all starts. A tiny little alligator. was spotted.
on a video in Boston's Charles River. It was found safe. There's a little, I love how they say that's tiny, that's tiny. Kane, did you see it? That man needed two hands.
That's not tiny, that's like Hmm. but somebody apparently had it as a pet illegally. And they dumped it, and it can't safely return to the wild. It's totally out of its, you know. I mean, we have all seen how this happens.
Stop. And why would you dump a little baby Gator? That's so mean. I mean, I know they grew up to be nothing but jaws, but, you know, still. A bear ran onto an airport tarmac and halted flights.
Aww, it was in the Japanese city of Hanamaki and it temporarily suspended flights after they saw this bear wander under the grounds. And it halted flights for more than an hour. And it's adorable because there's video of it. And I just feel like it was scared and it didn't know where to go. Poor baby.
Look at me. Poor baby. Nature. Also, a man fell off a bus. On the highway in Maine after he climbed through the roof hatch.
Who does this stuff? These dumb people do. This is what it is. He fell right off the bus. Manchester, New Hampshire.
He was seriously injured. He fell from the roof of a moving bus. They said the 35-year-old man opened the emergency access of the Concorde coach lines, climbed through the roof while it was moving. Driver realized what happened, started slowing down, tried to pull over, but the man fell off. The roof to the roadway.
He landed on the shoulder. He had serious injuries, but not life-threatening. He said he was feeling overheated and he opened up the access hatch and that's why.
Sounds like I don't know, drugs, maybe? Like, maybe. I don't know. Just, I mean, none of this sounds good. Uh, a just oh no.
I got a joke here. A distracted driver. relieved himself into what Budweiser can while he was driving and he got pulled over.
Now Maybe he was making Budweiser. I mean really, what comes first? But apparently, and he crashed. The 53-year-old was driving a Chevy Suburban on a Missoula roadway, and he ran into the rear of a Volkswagen carrying two passengers. The cop said that he had a large Budweiser can in his right hand, which he moved to the center console.
And then he handed the beer over when the cop said it smelled like urine. And he said, Well, that's what I was doing when I ran into the Yeah, he's going to jail, of course. Stick with us more in store as we move. Our partners that help bring you the program. It is the folks over at Keltech, the KS7 Gen 2 shotgun.
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Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you. We're at the top of this third hour. This is a Monday. Find us over substack, chapter, and verse.
What do you do? If you're on. an airplane. Everybody's been on planes before, right? Yeah.
And, um You are sitting in your seat. You know how some people they got their iPads or their Laptops or their phones out. Are you ever worried about people? Like, if I have to work on a plane, I don't want people to read the editorials that I'm writing and things like that, so I pick my seats. in a way where I can you know have that privacy.
But have you ever been on A flight. I have not. But have you ever been on a flight? Where somebody is starts viewing something that is Um incredibly inappropriate. while you're on the flight.
Has it ever happened to you, Kane? I've never seen it. I've never seen it. I'm usually in the aisle too, so that's kind of the easy way to see that sort of thing. Yeah, so I don't know if you guys heard about Democrat rep Brad Sherman.
It's so gross. His face looks so gross in the photo. Because of his expression. Apparently there were photos of him that some one took. where he was sitting on a plane.
on his giant iPad. And he was looking apparently at.
some explicit images. And someone posted it on X. It showed the California Democrat, the congressman, staring at a ta his iPad with his mouth agape and he was Apparently scrolling through. Uh some Inappropriate photos, I should say. And they asked, why did California Congressman Brad Sherman feel it was appropriate to look at porn on his iPad during a flight today?
Now he denied the allegations, and they said that the pictures appeared. because of his algorithm on X.
Now I don't Twitter is not like If you're looking online. And you, you know, how some people tell on themselves? They'll like post screenshots of something, and then there are these weird ads on the side, and it's like, that's from what you, that's how. That's from what you surf. That's how that takes it up.
X doesn't necessarily work the same way. My for you, by the way.
So, my for you tab is like all progressives, and I have no idea why. Like, stuff I don't agree with, and I have to mute all of it. It's like the for you thing is is is like Garbage.
Now, maybe that's because I'm in politics, and maybe I don't know, the algorithm is trying to show you something different from that. I don't know. But his people were saying that It is the It was the algorithm that did that? King? I don't really think that that's accurate.
No, it's not accurate. I haven't seen the algorithm promote pornography. Stupid people, yes. It's never accidentally popped up in my feed. Yeah.
So, I don't believe that. Do you think that he was just actively looking at? Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know.
He said He said these pictures came up on for you. If you have to fly across the country you look at a lot of stuff on your tablet. He says, If I see a picture of a woman, might I look at it longer than a sunset? Yeah. It doesn't look good because there were several photos of him taken, and there were multiple images that he was looking at.
And I don't know. Yeah, there were multiple posts, and they appeared in some of those photos to be one right after the other. In other words, A f a specific feed he was looking at. Oh my gosh. Okay, we we actually bla but Juan's getting ready to show you what he was doing.
Like in one of the photos, you can see he's not even touching the iPad, but he's just staring at the image and he's all slack jawed like some old pervert. Oh, it's so gross. Mm, why is he like that? I don't know. Why are these people like this?
So I tend to not think that it was just, oh my, he was like, I didn't mean to view these lingerie, scantily clad women. It just is awkward. It's so bad. It's just so, and he, there were multiple like image, image, image, image, image at one right after the other. There were three photos of him taken looking at them.
Uh I don't think I don't think that it was the algorithm. I think that he, like, clicked on something to see. Personally, that's what I think. It's just so gross. But he was like, no, it's the X algorithm.
That's what it is. Or Just hear me out. You're a giant pervert. Mm-hmm. Looking at the stuff.
and looking at this stuff on a plane. In the aisle seat. He's in the aisle seat. Is he? Yes.
He looks to be near the window or next to the window.
Well, it looks like he's in an ILC from what I saw. I don't care, but he's on a plane. Oh my gosh. Oh, it's so nasty. Ugh, can you imagine?
I can't. It's a ugh. Mm-mm. What would you do if you were sitting next to him? To him?
Mm-hmm. And you saw that happen. And I knew that he was the congressman, a Democrat congressman from California. Or just you just, period. I'd probably do what this guy did, which is apparently sneak some picks.
So I would totally do that too. Yeah. And then I would, so I didn't have to sit next to the gross. I'd be like, why are you so nasty? I would probably ask that publicly.
Why are you so nasty? Why are you looking at why are you looking at porn here? Oh, I feel violent. It's just, uh oh no. Don't they make those screen covers where if you're just off at an angle, you can't see what's on the screen, sort of thing?
Yeah. Like, if he's gonna do stuff like that, I'd recommend him have a friend of mine has it on her phone, and I ordered this the for the iPhone off of uh. Um Amazon. Because I just notice when I'm on flights, I find myself if I'm texting and doing, you know, I don't want people like, oh, who's that? What is she?
You know, not that I'm. doing anything. All of my searches are gonna they're embarrassing. It's all dog stuff. It's dogs.
Holsters. Um oh, I was looking up heirloom seeds. What else? What does it mean if I dream I had a tail? Oh, and anything aliens.
My algorithm is so spastic. It's like, we don't even know. We're just going to throw a bunch of weird stuff at her. I don't know. Um yeah, that's what it Oh, although Instagram started showing me races of Small diminutive people with camels.
On Instagram. I don't know why. just started showing me those videos. I don't know what I watched, but anyway. Um, that's yeah.
So I just, that's just this guy. I would have said something, it's gross.
Okay. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift lists. But identity thieves have lists too, and your personal information might be on them.
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