This is Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang from Las Culture. With Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. JBL Tor Pro 3 earbuds are for those who don't conform to the standard. Yeah, I mean, if you want to get into some touchscreen technology, how about the smart charging case, clear sound? These are not standard things.
You're only going to get them with the JBL Tor Pro 3 baby. And I love the sound of JBL when it goes. These earbuds are packed with innovation because you can't stand out by following others. Touchscreen smart charging case for one touch control, instant EQ customization, true adaptive noise canceling, and the one-of-a-kind audio transmitter, which can plug and play with everything from game consoles to in-flight entertainment. What more could you want?
First doesn't follow. Grab a pair at jbl.com. Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Keltech. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. Yeah.
It's time for Florida Man. I wanted to come back to this because we ran out of time for this one yesterday because it was such a weird story. It was the silly string one where it was a. Florida escort who was arrested because she attacked a dude with silly string.
Well, the other article that I found Said, because I'm like, if this guy literally filed like a battery charge because of silly string, then he deserves to get attacked. I just felt like that was stupid. But he had a forehead laceration.
So I think it was just more than the silly string itself. It sounded like she also hit him with the can.
So. Yeah, uh the lady the female was arrested for battery, change that up, and uh spent the night in jail. She bought it out uh for a thousand dollars. But yeah, they uh that that's what ended up. happening with that.
So I wanted to, you know. Wanted to run that down. A Florida man attempted a cell phone drop via drone to a sandstone prison inmate.
Okay, guys. Mayor's uh it's Mayor of Kingstown. Not everything that you see in television is going to, you know, like they have drones that drop phones and drugs in the jail. You can't do that. That's T V, y'all.
Uh it's not gonna work. But uh this Florida man Jose Moncada. He's 39 years old, was charged with introducing contraband into jail. And apparently, according to Pine County Sheriff's Office, the deputies responded to a drone that was flying over the Institute, the prison. and they said there was an object attached underneath it.
They all saw it.
So it wasn't like it was you know, it wasn't Pain It wasn't hiding itself, right? It was very obvious. And they watched this thing coming from a mile away, bringing this phone. And they all saw it. They were recording it.
They had it all in the crosshairs. They saw everything. And then they a deputy later on initiated a traffic stop on a vehicle that was believed to have been involved with it. And they found a black backpack in the trunk, and et cetera, et cetera, and they arrested the guy because he had all the stuff for the drone.
So they. That and they found the drone controller, cell phones, bubble wrap, all that stuff, and a pay stub. Like, he kept his pay stub for doing this.
So he was taken into custody, obviously. Goodness. If Florida may illegally kill thirteen American alligators, say wildlife officials. Brevard County, he's facing charges after wildlife officials say he illegally killed 13 American alligators in arrest warrant for 21-year-old Jacob Latrell. of Edgewater, says it happened over the course of several days in the St.
Johns River. Near a boat ramp, they said that an illegal killing, possessing, or capturing of an American alligator is a third-degree felony. Which answers my question of, I keep seeing these alligators in clothes and like little t-shirts being carried around by people in Florida. Can I do that? No, the answer is no, that's a third degree felony, as I just found out.
So, um A South Florida man. Oh. Oh, he chose violence today. He torched the clubhouse. Of The Enforcers Motorcycle Club.
Oh boy. This guy's forty-seven. Did you see his mug shot? R. I.
P. Brow. Dude. Forty seven-year-old man. He's uh I think he probably wants to be in prison at this point.
Does he? Maybe not on the streets so much. Yeah, this is some death wish stuff.
So he set fire. They're saying he's facing charges in connection with arson. At the clubhouse for the Enforcers Motorcycle Club in Palm Beach County. They said that he faces one kind of use of second-degree arson, burglary, property mischief, et cetera. No motive has been disclosed.
But I would imagine that he probably is like, yes, please take me to jail. I'll burn something else down if you try to let me go. Yeah, I mean, it's literally like, try to think of the meanest name for your biker club. The Enforcers pretty much is it. Like you couldn't pick the Kittens in Sunshine Motorcycle Club, their clubhouse to burn down.
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JBL Tor Pro 3 earbuds are for those who don't conform to the standard. Yeah, I mean, if you want to get into some touchscreen technology, how about the smart charging case, clear sound? These are not standard things. You're only going to get them with the JBL Tor Pro 3, baby. And I love the sound of JBL when it goes.
These earbuds are packed with innovation because you can't stand out by following others. Touchscreen smart charging case for one-touch control, instant EQ customization, true adaptive noise canceling, and the one-of-a-kind audio transmitter, which can plug and play with everything from game consoles to in-flight entertainment. The audio transmitter also allows for JBL spatial 360 sound that takes any audio and turns it into a 360 immersive experience. What more could you want? Verse doesn't follow.
Grab a pair at jbl.com. Yeah. Tis the season for identity theft. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift lists. But guess what?
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Terms apply. It's here, the first humanoid robot housekeeper. Thank you, Neo. For $20,000, you can pre-order 1X's Neo Robot now with delivery in 2026. I think you missed a tiny spot over here.
Just one little catch. There may be a human behind the curtain pulling the robot's strings. If I throw up, will the robot throw up? A company representative may need to peer into your house via Neo's camera eyes to get things done. To many people, this is crazy.
You have to be okay with this for the product to be useful. We're twinning now, Neo. Yeah. 1X is taking on Home Robotics' biggest challenges, creating a safe body and a smart brain. Its fabric-covered body lets Neo try to do a lot of things humans do around the house.
Emphasis on try. You got this, Neo. You got it. My challenge: load three items in the dishwasher. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, yeah. What is it doing? Yeah. And That took five minutes.
Okay. I don't want a robot housekeeper. That's not a robot housekeeper. That's someone playing a video game called Chores. That's what that is.
That's not a robot housekeeper. So, wait, you're telling me that there's going to be an entire workforce of people if they do this, the only way this would work. And you're just listening to a Wall Street Journal try the first. humanoid robot. housemaid.
You have to have somebody spy on your house. 24-7. and do chores using your robot. The cost of convenience.
Okay. So you have to have surveillance. A company is going to surveil you. And then you're going to have someone. who is playing a They got the glasses on.
And they're they're they're the robot. It's not a robot. It's not. Smart, it's someone's in it. There What?
Well, like they're they have to be some like in a different area. doing what the robot does.
So you're you're telling me you're gonna have entire Like If this was how they go for, just imagine, like say this company, this takes off. You're going to have like a horde of people in a building somewhere, all with the headsets, the VR headsets. Spying on your house and doing robot stuff. They're just going to be in the middle of a room doing absolutely nothing. Wait, like drone flyers?
Yeah. And doing chores.
So that makes this next video of this robot making pizza dough really weird.
Okay, yeah, I don't, this is scary. This literally looks like something out of Terminator. Go ahead, hit me with this one. Go ahead. Mm.
Oh, oh, is that just a photo? Oh, it's just a photo? Oh, oh, I don't think that's real. That looks dangerous. I mean, I can't even tell that's dough.
That might be a cat it's beating to that's on the table. I don't know. I don't know. I can't see. That is not a cat.
I don't know. It doesn't seem legit, though. Would you have For the purpose of convenience, cane in your house, somebody. Wearing the VR headset, doing chores. Oh my gosh, what is that?
No, wait, we got that. That's a robot.
Now, is there someone?
Well, you got to put that on screen. You're not even putting it on screen. But Is that somebody? I can't tell if it's dry humping the cabinet or doing. I don't know what it's doing.
What is that? Is that someone in a building miles away? Doing this? That looks like it's probably of its own accord. Autonomous.
That is insane. When the dough is not even getting kneaded. The cabinet's getting banged all to hell. Like what is happening? I don't want any of that in my house.
No, for the purpose of convenience, would you have a guy VR headset in a building somewhere surveilling your house and then very slowly, poorly doing chores? No. I certainly wouldn't. It's the same reason I don't have one of those robot vacuums. I'm on the fence about that.
I know. I don't know what to think about myself right now. I feel like I'm failing myself. Steve, would you, for the purpose of convenience, have someone surveil your house and then wear a VR headset and do chores very slowly, poorly? You're answering the question while you're asking.
You realize those things have to collect all the data that it learns, right? It doesn't just get rid of it. It has to learn on the fly.
So, where are they storing all that data? I don't need them to know everything about me.
Well, in order to for them to fold your britches, they do. I'll sacrifice folding my own britches then. Yeah. I just, I don't want anything that badly for convenience. You know what I mean?
I don't I think we humans think that convenience is a thing that we have to attain, and sometimes it's a curse, right? Yeah, some people in our age group, like back in the day when your car only had the crank up windows and not the electric windows, then we get all these electric things, electric seats, electric all of that, and then more things go wrong. If one wire breaks, now we don't have access to roll our window up or scoot our chair up. It's not. I will say, my very first car that I had was a, I don't even know what year it was.
I'm just surprised it wasn't pulled by a horse. It was a Buick Skyhawk. Oh, Skyhawk, huh? And whenever I turned left, it went, ooh. And that's, I told you that story.
I was listening to Sympathy for the Devil one day, and. Uh I heard an extra ooh in there, and it was my car. Anyway, the horn very, very weakly honked at people everywhere. But um The All of my friends. You know, I was very lucky to have this car.
I'm not complaining at all. I was very, very lucky to have it. It had probably 11,000 million miles on it. It broke down all the time. Yeah, we grew up in an era where more convenience actually meant more things could go wrong.
Yes, but I will say. I had the roll down window and I felt like a poor. Like I felt like Laura Engels wa like on the prairie with Pa and Ma having to roll down my window. Oh my gosh, if I don't have Wi-Fi for like five seconds, I'm like, oh my gosh, time to go in the prepper pantry. We're all gonna die.
I mean, immediately. I really felt That to me felt like camping, having to roll down the window. Have you ever put duct tape on your window just so you could pull the window up manually? Yeah, I've done that. Although, one time my locks stopped working and I couldn't get out of my car one time.
And I didn't have a I didn't have a mobile phone. This was like this was like 1998. And I just had to sit in my driveway in my car locked in it until one of my parents my mom or my stepdad came out and was like, you're missing. I literally couldn't get out. Nothing worked.
And that was after the thing on my window fell off and I couldn't even do that. I was so helpless. Anyway.
So My point being Like I kind of, I'm interested in having a robot vacuum, but at the same time. You're basically inviting What is the technological version of a face hugger in your house? And, you know, letting it run all over your. I just don't, you know, I don't like that. I don't, I don't want something up when I'm sleeping.
I didn't know that there was a person in some building somewhere controlling that robot. I thought this robot was just autonomous. You thought that was autonomous. I thought that was like. Like, do they have to be in the room with you?
I'm not impressed. Like, you don't just buy the robot. You get this indentured servant with it. Like, this person. I didn't know that was the case.
So, wait a minute. Why don't you just have like a regular person? It's fine. You're gonna get a robot. to do the job.
And then there's a person standing behind a curtain doing the job. Instead of taking five minutes to look three things in the dishwasher, man, the person could put down the damn VR headset, just go do it with their hands. I mean, what? This is one of the stupidest things I've ever seen in my life. People are going to get it.
You know that. I don't like that it's a soft body, too, with like a fabric covering that's nasty. That was the first thing I noticed, more so than the person behind the curtain. I was like, that's dirty. That's going to collect germs and be stained.
And then you're going to, like, somebody you'll have company over, and they're going to be like, look at your hobo robot. And your hobo bot's going to be all dirty and messy because it has a canvas body. Anyway, that's not. It's narrow. It's not helpful.
That's not helpful. Just do it your damn self at that point. I've seen the movie iRobot. I'm not interested. You know, people are gonna use it for murder.
They will. They're gonna they're gonna hide and use that robot to go and murder people. I'm telling you, that's what's going to be iRobot. And then it'll end up as 28 days later. That's what's going to happen.
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JBL Tor Pro 3 earbuds are for those who don't conform to the standard. Yeah, I mean, if you want to get into some touchscreen technology, how about the smart charging case, clear sound? These are not standard things. You're only going to get them with the JBL Tor Pro 3 baby. And I love the sound of JBL when it goes.
These earbuds are packed with innovation because you can't stand out by following others. Touchscreen smart charging case for one touch control, instant EQ customization, true adaptive noise canceling, and the one-of-a-kind audio transmitter, which can plug and play with everything from game consoles to in-flight entertainment. The audio transmitter also allows for JBL Spatial 360 sound that takes any audio and turns it into a 360 immersive experience. What more could you want? Verse doesn't follow.
Grab a pair at jbl.com. Tis the season for identity theft. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift lists. But guess what? Identity thieves have lists too, and your personal information might be on them.
Protect your identity with LifeLock. LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points every second and alerts you to threats you could miss by yourself, even if you keep an eye on your bank and credit card statements. If your identity is stolen, your own U.S.-based restoration specialist will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. And all plans are backed by the Million Dollar Protection Package. The last thing you want to do this holiday season is face drained accounts, fraudulent loans, or other financial losses from identity theft all alone.
Make this season about joy, not identity theft, with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LifeLock and use promo code iHeart, or go to lifelock.com/slash iHeart for 40% off. Terms apply. And now, all of the news you would probably miss.
It's time for Dana's Quick Five. All right, so first up, a woman accidentally. I think we, I don't know if this is, this is. I don't know if this is one of the ones that we've had before, a woman who got body parts sent to her. instead of her medication.
It sounds very similar to a headline that we've had before. But this woman, she ordered medication. You would never, by the way, I just want to caution you, you would never have this happen at all family pharmacy, allfamilypharmacy.com/slash Dana. Use code Dana10 to get 10% off your order. I'm just saying, you would not, they would not send you body parts.
No. Because this place did. They sent this lady literal body parts. It literally misdelivered body parts, and the coroner had to go retrieve them and take them back to the morgue. They said sometimes they're shipped for transplants and research purposes, but she literally got a delivery Wednesday night.
She thought it was her medication, and she opened the box. And uh there were some arms and fingers in it. Instead of her medication. I'm just wondering what kind of medication she has delivered because I don't know how big of a box you need to ship an arm. But I'd be like, this seems a little bit bigger than what I was anticipating.
And I don't know if it's like cold packed or what. I'm like, I'd be like, is this a steak that someone sent me? One of the order from mail steaks? I don't know. But they said that apparently the incident involves an airline company, a freight company, and a courier.
So you had three chances to like somebody to stop it, and it didn't happen. A bank robber stole $400 and $1 bills and asks the police if he can please keep the money for his jail commissary. That's not really how that works. 42 years old. He was arrested.
He robbed a bank. It's the city's first bank robbery in. Hunting a bank in Ohio in what since 2010. And he's, it's all on camera. And he fled on foot $400 and $100 and $1 bills.
Of course, he was quickly apprehended, but he wanted to keep the money so he could buy stuff in prison. It's just funny. U.S. Space Force is going to use three weapons to jam Chinese satellites via remote control. Should we be, like, I don't know, advertising this in the press?
Hey China, guess what we're doing? We're going to be jamming yo satellites. I just feel like this is something we shouldn't announce. The military is close to fielding two weapons designed to temporarily, or I think they meant to say temporarily, or temporarily. Maybe they did mean temporally jam Chinese and Russian intelligence surveillance and reconnaissance satellites.
So you have three counter space. You don't tell them that we have this. I mean, if there's one thing that my tax dollars go towards, it's to super spooky stuff. in defense of our nation that you probably shouldn't be broadcasting like this. By the way, the weapons are called Meadowlands.
That sounds Almost nice, doesn't it? Yeah. Meadowlands and remote sensing terminals, mmm meadowlands. I mean, imagine you're going, and it's just a giant space laser that jams your sat. It's funny.
Oh my gosh.
So I just said they need to be careful about putting this stuff out there. I don't know. Maybe they meant to. A new driver was spinning in circles around a church parking lot at Cops in South Carolina. It was near Myrtle Beach.
I mean, somebody's having a day. That's all it is. They were apprehended because they were driving recklessly. Also, they were completely nude and smelled strongly of alcohol, said police. The guy was arrested and charged with all kinds of stuff, including lots of cocaine.
We got more on the way. Stick with us. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the United States. I saw your voicing Professor Umbridge and the new Harry Potter audiobooks. I was wondering, are you aware that some fans are calling for a boycott given J.K.
Rowland's ongoing campaign against trans people? I was not aware of that, no. I'm very sorry. Um, you know, I think we're all living in a period of time right now. We're all going to have to figure out how to live together, aren't we?
And we've all got very different opinions.
So I hope that we can all Find respect. I don't. What's the problem with what she said? People are getting upset with Karen Knightley for some reason. I think she's lovely.
And that's a stupid question to ask, but she was being very nice about it. She's uh doing the voice of Dolores Umbridge in the audiobook. Of Rowling's book series.
So James McAvoy, Kit Harrington, Simon Pegg, Matt Berry, who's very good. And I think people are trying to Get They're again, these people wake up, they're so miserable. These people live such miserable lives. They take joy in being miserable to everybody. And they're just trying to find someone that they can get upset with.
And they're picking, now they're trying to pick her. And so she was doing this interview with this. I'm not just cider, this lame publication. And they are asking her this question. And, you know, she kind of laughs about it.
And they're saying, oh, she laughed. Can you believe she laughed? And can you believe she said she didn't know? Because she's not a loser like you people. She doesn't sit around here and do burn book mean girl style and figure out who's fighting with who.
And quite honestly, these people who are getting upset over J.K. Rowling, shut the hell up. No one cares about your stupid opinions, okay? You have not even contributed one artistic. Anything remotely close to the level of artistry that she has given to the arts and entertainment community.
These people are mad. They're trying to force compliance with their cosplay. If they were truly happy, they would just live their lives content with how they view themselves. But that's not enough because their problem is inward, not outward. They want to force all of you, everyone else, to affirm their cosplay.
And if you don't, you, not they, insanely in their view, are the bigot. It's insane. These are actions of insane people. Make mental institutions great again. And to go after her for it, I thought she handled that qu that idiotic question wonderfully.
I would not have been as nice. Mm-hmm. She handled it very nicely, I thought. She was very calm and chill, and she was very respectful with her opinions. How can you get mad over saying, Well, we all have different opinions, so I hope that we can all find respect.
Well, I'm mad. That's what these people are saying. They're mad at her for saying that everyone has opinions and that we should all be respectful of people's opinions, which I don't think you should be, but I even think she's too nice there. I don't if your opinion's stupid, I have no respect for it. No one is owed respect for an opinion.
You aren't owed respect. At most, you are owed indifference. That is it. You're not owed anything else but indifference.
So she's even very nice there. But as Juan correctly notes, they want her to pick a side. What team are you on? They want her to put the jersey on. What team?
They're trying to determine. See, they're sniffing you out.
some jackbooted thugs. They're sniffing you out. That's what it and she's not she's removing herself from that. She's not playing that. I always find it interesting.
You have some lowly reporter who probably eats cat food and can't make ends meet because they decided they wanted to major and get a job in a completely unrealistic dying industry. And so they ask someone who is infinitely more talented and more successful a stupid question like this. And then, as a way to elevate their own profile and maybe gain wider acceptance in larger and more ascended professional circles, they decide to stoke a witch hunt like this. It's stupid.
So good on her for giving, not really, but you know, rhetorically, kind of a middle finger to this. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift lists. But identity thieves have lists too, and your personal information might be on them.
Protect your identity with LifeLock. LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second and alerts you to threats you could miss. If your identity is stolen, LifeLock will fix it, guaranteed, or your money back. Make this season about joy, not identity theft, with LifeLock. Save up to 40% your first year at lifelock.com/slash iHeart.
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Yeah.
