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Offers are subject to change, and certain restrictions may apply. Dana Lashes Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the United States. There's a lot of memes of J.D. Vance on the internet.
There are. What's your favorite meme? Or like funny joke about yourself, like after the Pope, or you know, there's a lot of options to pick from these days.
So my favorite meme was, and this is very inappropriate, but maybe it's not too soon. But, you know, there was the whole thing about how I was into couches. Yep. And right after the Pope died, there was, did you see this one? There was just a meme of the Pope, Usha, and a couch.
And it, like, took me a second to get it. And then when I got it, I was like, man, that's pretty good. That's pretty good. In fact, I like to think the left isn't very good at memeing.
So my hope is that a right winger came up with that because that was a very funny meme. That is kind of funny. That's the way that you should respond to it. Not like, this is petty. Like his response versus Christy Gnome's response is that's the way you got to handle that stuff.
I just it's like when it's funny. If it's funny, I would have people that would make like stuff about me. And I was only offended when the person thought it was good and it was really bad. Like if it's funny, I'll allow it. But if it's not funny, then I actually feel slighted.
It's worse to me than the original intent of the offense. It's actually more offensive when it's not funny because I'm just like, I thought that smart people were disagreeing with me. Smarter people. I would like to think that I had a better quality troll. And then it made me feel like not as worthy of better trolls.
And it's just like a whole like existential crisis.
So I was just like, that sucks. Like, these are really, they're just not creative people.
So that's funny. And that's the way that you should. If it's funny, it's funny. They had, so he's in the Cotswolds, right? And he's out near Chadlington, where Jeremy Clarkson's, and I love Diddly Squat Farm, where he's got his farm and you got the Beckhams that live out there, Gordon Ramsay and Tony Blair and all these people.
But he's like vacationing. J.D. Vance and their family, they're vacationing out there. I guess they have like a country house out in the Cotswolds. And people are mad, but they don't know what they're mad about.
And Clarkson's been making fun of it on Instagram, showing the beautiful, quiet countryside birds chirping. And he's like, he goes, look at this absolute mess. This is all this chaos is from J.D. Vance. The people are complaining, but there's nothing for them to complain about.
That's what's so amusing by this. But someone did rent a truck with one of those giant J.D. Vance memes. It's the one reason he has a giant fat face and corkscrew curls and his big O.I.'s. And they put that on the side of a lorry, and they've just been driving it around.
But the problem is that the truck is so big and bulky that it's creating a traffic problem. For people in the Cotswolds.
So it's having the opposite intended effect. That they wanted it to have. They thought they were going to be making fun of JD fans. And now everyone's mad at them. Because this truck is so big and bulky.
And it's making snarling traffic in these little villages. It's actually quite funny.
So I have to go on. I'm going on a cruise. And it's kind of like a work trip kind of thing. A fun thing. I'm going with MRC.
You guys know how I feel about cruises. This one's going to Norway though.
So I'm pretty sure that there's not going to be any shenanigans. But it's on a boat and you guys know I get I just don't do good on boats I know that all of them have sea keepers now and all this stuff, but I ain't playing So I went to all family pharmacy, right because they have literally every kind of medication You can think of and I mean literally every kind I bet they have like special magical bark somewhere on their website I wouldn't doubt it. They've got literally everything i've gone there before and i've gotten antibiotics when i've needed stuff in a pinch But they have your everyday stuff. They have methylene blue and AD plus they've got The hydroxychloroquine all of it, but the good the thing that I like most about them is all their medications They use 100% domestically sourced materials for all medicines So you're not getting anything with precursors from china or anywhere else And that means you get really high quality and you have safety standards that you can trust So i'm getting um some anti-nausea like prescription level anti-nausea stuff just to you know, like chill when we're on the high seas, Kane, and we're being tossed about by Davy Jones.
So anyway, and you can get it in like two to four days, overnight in a pinch, everything that you need. Visit allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. Use code Dana10 and get 10% off of your order. It's very easy. Medical freedom is American freedom.
That's allfamilypharmacy.com slash Dana. Code Dana10 to get over 10% off of your order. Time for a sofa upgrade? Visit washablesofas.com and discover Anabay, where designer style meets budget-friendly prices, with sofas starting at $699. Anabay brings you the ultimate in furniture innovation with a modular design that allows you to rearrange your space effortlessly.
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Don't compromise quality for price. Visit washablesofas.com to upgrade your living space today with no risk returns and a 30-day money-back guarantee. Get up to 60% off plus free shipping and free returns. Shop now at washablesofas.com. offers are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply i've got dan morgan here on the pod say hi dan hey how's it going today it's going good man tell us who you are and what you do i'm dan morgan i'm an attorney and a managing partner at morgan and morgan which is america's largest injury law firm that's pretty awesome um i think i saw a billboard of yours recently that said uh 20 billion won 20 million is an insane number Yeah, $20 billion recovered.
It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to $22, $23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan & Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That pound 529 from your cell phone We are always open Our call center is always waiting to take your call 24 Wow Dan Morgan from Morgan Morgan America large injury law firm Thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.
Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you. Guys, do you remember an esteemed actor named Juicy Sommelier? No, it's not a fat wine expert It's a Juicy Sommelier Justice for Juicy You guys remember this?
So, he's back I know you guys are so happy Because you were counting the days Juicy Sommelier I don't even know how you say his name But we're doing it the Dave Chappelle way No, that's wrong It's wrong, Kane He slams the Chicago police Rahm Emanuel as villains And then he denies that it was a hate crime hoax. And he says he's mounting a comeback and his story has never changed. Oh, boy. Oh, man.
Now, you guys remember what happened, right? You guys remember what happened to Juicy, right?
So, man, he fabricated a hate crime. He fabricated a hate crime. You remember what year this was? I remember it was in it was during winter it was during a snowstorm in Chicago I want to say it was 2017 into 2018 but it was 2018 into 2019 maybe so he said that these men in Chicago beat him up, put a noose on his neck and yelled this is MACA country and it was something like like happened like in the middle of the night essentially. Right.
Happened in the middle of the night. In 2019.
Well, he was charged in February. Yeah, you're right. January 29th. He said he went out to get a sandwich in a bad snowstorm, as one does. You know.
Yeah, at 3 in the morning. You know, gotta get them meats. I get it.
So he goes out. I don't, actually. He is out in the middle of a snowstorm in downtown Chicago going to get a sandwich. Right so These dudes he said oh my gosh they were They were yelling that I was gay and saying homophobic Slurs and racial slurs They put a noose around my neck And remember he took a picture of himself with a noose Around his neck like didn't even take it off And nothing was adding up And as they were investigating They came across these two dudes Right so weird these two dudes So ultimately Juicy Paid them To go in and do this he hired These two dudes to Beat him up and then Pretend to do all this stuff and then He was Going to make this this big You know claim he was going to act like a victim you know why He did this instead of took acting lessons Because this is how Weak people get power Weak people get power by pretending to be a Victim It's a rejection of meritocracy they want They want the notoriety and They want the power that comes From trying to Care for and satiate a victim And they weaponized that And they used that as leverage To make themselves more famous This was a PR stunt for him And so he went to the Northwestern Memorial Hospital They released him because he's fine But the investigation found out That he paid these two work acquaintances From Africa Who were brothers to stage the assault Then it came They were on CCTV At a hardware store Buying the noose And that Like Kidnap supplies And they wrote a check for it They wrote a check for it. You might as well just put kidnap supplies in the memo section.
And so Kim Fox was in charge and she was trying to drop the charges and do all of this stuff. And after all this came out, Smollier fired a countersuit against the city of Chicago. He said that he was the victim of mass public ridicule and harm. And the city spent they spent six figures investigating this hoax. And he said he should not have to reimburse the city For his failed PR stunt And he said no he's the victim of mass Public ridicule and harm Well yeah you are because you're a lying Hoakster and you're a racist bigot That's why I mean can you Again the jokes that were written about this In the middle of the night in a snowstorm in Chicago And I'm really sure people are going to be out there going Miss Maggie country And all this stuff is just the dumbest stuff ever Dave Chappelle's like five minute Bit on it is still the best So anyway, where the hell has he been?
Nobody knows and we don't care. You know why we don't care because he's He he's just not valuable and to our culture. I'm sorry, but he's not And then he does all this stuff. He tried to he tried to just actually Like kickstart Like a race war he tried to do that He tried to divide his country with this stuff And I just find that absolutely Unforgivable I really do So he pled no contest Well he came out He's had a little bit of a rap sheet He pled no contest to some charges back in 2007 In 2022 He was sentenced to serve 150 days in jail Etc etc anyway so he's back And for some reason Variety was like you know who We need to go interview let's go interview Juicy Somalia And so He still maintains that he did not fake it Dude Dude He I know I know And Smollier goes He was saying that That his story is still his story And That quote We're living in a world where the higher Ups their main mission in order to do All of the underhanded things that they're doing is to distract us with the shiny object. Wait, that's what you were trying to do.
You were trying to distract people with like racial claims. Literally what you were doing. I mean, you, he made it up to the nth degree. It was disgusting.
So he says that my story has never changed.
Well, that's irrelevant. That just means that you just, you can keep to a lie. That's it. And I don't know he's trying to he's trying to make a comeback he signed a deal with some record company that nobody knows about And he's coming out with a dumb song that no one's gonna listen to Uh, actually I think it's already out. No.
Yeah, it's already out. Nobody cares Yeah, it came out a few days ago. Nobody cares So he's only doing this because he's he's you know, trying to he's still chasing that fame right He's still chasing that fame, but he says that He didn't do anything wrong And that the judge remember the judge told him in his case that he was someone who quote craved detention. And he acted like he was this big civil rights hero. Do you know that when he was a kid, fun fact, he signed and was represented by Kirk Cameron's mom?
He was in the Mighty Ducks. Isn't that interesting? Just wanted to point that out. I find that fascinating.
So this, I just find this so sad. I mean, he, no one believes that you're a victim. You're a Hollywood actor You were in very successful Television programs And movies You are the epitome of privilege Nobody believes that you Are a victim of anything They don't believe you're a victim of a single thing It's just nonsense He Wanted to be a victim I guess because he wasn't getting Enough attention in his professional life So he actually trying to come back I I cannot believe that Variety thinks this is the time to launch this dude It's just unbelievable.
So Juicy Sommelier, you know, that's like a true crime story right there. Kel-Tec, the PR-57, one of the newest firearm offerings from Kel-Tec. A rotary barrel pistol that's 40% lighter than other 5.7s on the market. And it's chambered 5.7, and it establishes kind of a new measure with lightweight design. The rotary barrel makes it the lightest 5.7 pistol available.
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That's K-E-L-T-E-C Weapons.com. Innovation Performance, Keltec. KeltecWeapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. Let's be real.
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I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man. Tell us who you are and what you do.
I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan & Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. I think I saw a billboard of yours recently that said $20 billion won. $20 billion is an insane number.
Yeah, $20 billion recovered. It's actually, I think, somewhere north, probably closer to $22, $23 after this year. And each year we get bigger and badder and our army grows.
So the number will hopefully keep getting bigger and bigger as time goes on. Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan & Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. We are always open.
Our call center is always waiting to take your call. 24-7, 365. Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan & Morgan, America's large injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show.
Thanks for having me. Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick 5. Let's see.
Hackers post 43 gigabytes of St. Paul data after the city refused to pay ransom. Ooh, my goodness. Yeah, that's... The mayor says that hackers posted 43 gigs of data stolen from the city of St.
Paul on the dark web after they refused to pay the ransom. They in an update said that it was a gang that had stolen the data and they were described by federal authorities as a sophisticated money driven organization, etc, etc. They target like governments, hospitals, corporations, things like that.
So far, they said that they're not core city systems.
So like payroll permitting and licenses and that. But they still were posting some of the data publicly and they're investigating it. Good night. I really wanted to get to this story.
So I cannot believe people are doing this. $30,000 of stolen labubus. I cannot make fun of this enough. Kane, I legit saw yesterday, I saw a grown woman. This is the second time I've seen this in the wild with a labubu on her bag.
Now, if y'all don't know what a labubu is, it's like a troll doll. Like, you know how you had troll dolls in the 90s?
okay so it's that but it's for women that apparently way too much money and time on their hands and maybe some kids they're like disgusting little nasty troll looking things with like teeth and that i don't know and people hang them on their bags so in california police they recovered thirty thousand dollars worth of this what are they like six of them i yeah exactly they're so expensive would you for just a basic labubu it's like 40 bucks and they're little and this woman i think hers was maybe a fancy kind because you can pay hundreds maybe even thousands collectibles now right they're like they're the beanie babies for rich broads i don't know but i saw my second one in the wild like that is an actual little boo-boo and she had a pretty fancy purse that she was carrying so i was like that's probably a real one Oh my gosh A Fresno man was Oh wow Oh wow I've never heard that 200 pounds of meth This guy got arrested in Fresno A record breaking Sorry A Fresno man Arrested in South Dakota 12 million dollars Of 200 pounds of meth That's a lot That's methed up It's methed up I'm telling you We got a lot more on the way Stick with us I did not have this fight On my bingo card Kane Melania versus Hunter Who wins you're betting is the fight whoever can smoke the most crack because if that's the fight i choose hunter i'm trying to understand any other fight i choose melania okay so let me tell you the story and then i'm trying to wrap my head around understanding his motivation so he this is how it started so it started with him giving i think it was in a book i want to say it was one of Michael Wolf's books that he had made this claim. I'm pulling. Yes. And then Hunter Biden was repeating it.
So the claim is that that was made was that Melania Trump was introduced to Donald Trump to POTUS by Jeffrey Epstein. Right. That's the claim. And she is not happy with it At all on understandably she's not happy with it.
So the claim is that The that was made that he's repeating is that she was introduced to Trump by Epstein, right and The first lady responded With whoo a big oh I she threatened assumed for a billion dollars if He did not retract what was called the false and defamatory comments that he made regarding Epstein. And she made this threat. This has all been happening this week. He said it twice. He said it in an interview that was on YouTube.
I don't even know who this guy is. It was on YouTube. That weird, you know, that weirdo guy where he was sitting outside. By the way, this was pointed out to me. At one point, Hunter Biden was wearing a hat that had three arrows on it.
And apparently that is supposed to. It adopted by the Antifa fascists and they wear this hat with three arrows because it supposed to symbolize the iron resistance against Nazis It so stupid It what happens when barely educated people try to appropriate history So he made this remark in a different interview with this YouTube dude And they responded. This was her statement. She said, given your vast history of trading on the names of others, including your surname, for your personal benefit. It is obvious that you publish these false and defamatory statements about Mrs.
Trump to draw attention to yourself. She hired a pretty badass attorney, Alejandro Brito, and he's apparently pretty aggressive. And they sent this letter to Hunter Biden and Abby Lowell, and it started making the rounds yesterday evening. And they told him that they were going to sue him if he didn't comply by August 7th. And then if they didn't, then they're going to go after him for a billion dollars.
They said you are on notice.
Now, him saying that, the bar is really high for public figures. And I will say a lot of times, entities, particularly, you know, rat bastard entities that want to silence free speech and they're terrified of people on the airwaves. They try to engage in lawfare that will one day come back and bite them. They try to engage in lawfare all the time like this. And the mark is high if you're a public figure entity, you know, it's a very difficult thing to litigate And so and juan's showing you some of that weird interview And if you can look at his hat if you can get a get a check out his hat because that's that hat that everybody was kind of talking about so With her though I feel like this is because this is related specifically to a case a very a case of a very sensitive nature a case where there are a lot of victims.
And what he is claiming essentially is that she was a prostitute for Epstein and that Trump hired her. That's what he's claiming. And by making this remark. And now what do you think Hunter Biden said? After you say something that is defamatory and false about someone that actually links them to this ongoing investigation.
He's not the smartest. I mean, he's not the brightest bulb in the box. But how would you respond? Because it's not like the Trumps don't have the money to do this. The Bidens don't.
And I don't think he's going to be able to get any sugar daddies anymore to buy his spit art. I mean, he doesn't have that access anymore as insulation.
So what he said when he was asked if he would apologize to Melania was this.
Well, I can't say the first word. Blank that. that's not going to happen. Oh my gosh. Did you censor the first part out?
Did you do it?
Okay. All right. Because he's Hunter Biden, you know. I mean, it's every other word. Go ahead.
Sorry. Go ahead and play this. We're here maybe to give you the platform to apologize to the first lady for your statements that you made about her possible connection to Jeffrey Epstein. F*** that. That's not going to happen.
Doesn't he sound like Joe? He does. He sounds like a higher pitched, more nasally Joe Biden. He sounds like him. I wonder what the odds are of him actually apologizing.
Because right now, that's his fastest and cheapest way out of this. Oh, that's his super fast, cheap way out of this.
So this is, what is he trying to do? He's, because they will, they are litigious as all get out. The Trumps are litigious. I like that. I like that in a person that gets bullied.
So if they go after him, all of this stuff is going to be up for discovery. This is also kind of a trap. Because then what they can do is they can, through discovery, they can drag all kinds of stuff out of him. He is really stupid. Why would you set yourself up for this?
Because remember, a lot of the stuff, the Paula Jones thing came out of Whitewater. That was never its own separate thing. that was divulged and discovered during whitewater for the Clintons. All of this stuff, this is the kind of stuff that comes out. It looks like an ancillary issue.
And then it ends up becoming as big or bigger than the original issue being fought over. This is just wild, though, because I was thinking about this. I'm like, well, does he not realize that, first off, that's incredibly expensive. He does not have the money. I'm sorry, they don't have the money for this.
Joe's not in the White House anymore. Nobody's pretending that Hunter Biden is a talented artist And buying his stuff, they're not doing this So What is his endgame here? He thinks that he's going to get them on something Anything that was to be gotten on them Would have already been out, it's already out Meanwhile, Hunter Biden still probably Has bodies in the backyard So what does he think he's going to do here? Because all of that is going to Oh my gosh, I would drag it out In Discovery for so long And then all of that stuff is public.
So if they start discovering stuff about Burisma or Seneca Falls or the deals with cobalt mines in Africa or the business deals that he made with these CCP business owners that were giving him diamonds and all this stuff, all of that is going to come out. and any attempt at Joe Biden, which is pretty nil now, but any attempt of him having any kind of legacy will be just forever shattered. And not just for Joe Biden, but for any of his kids and his grandkids. They're all going to be tainted by this if it goes to that extent.
So it kind of seems like Hunter Biden's just this ticking time bomb. He wants to blow up. He's mad at the world because he's an entitled brat. He's a 50-something-year-old brat. He's almost 60.
And he's acting like this. By the way, speaking of which, his sister announced yesterday that apparently she caught her husband cheating on her.
Now, with Hunter Biden's predilection for swooping in, Kane, with these ladies, I was just wondering, you know, it'd be dumb not to put it out there, right? I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Wink. You know what I mean?
Just wondering. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. A clueless Texas Democrat compares Republican redistricting plans to the Holocaust. Elizabeth Warren does Republicans a favor by saying Zoran Mamdani's socialist agenda should be the Democrats' message.
And Jim Acosta disgraces himself again by interviewing the AI bot of a dead kid to push gun control. I'm Greg Karumbas, inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We'll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs, too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. If you like true crime, you'll love the Miracle Files podcast.
We share real stories with the suspense of true crime, but we'll leave you with a sense of light and hope. Like the college wrestler who fought a grizzly, the woman who was dead for nearly an hour, or the child lost in a dark mine for days. These are the kind of stories that remind us miracles are real. Subscribe to The Miracle Files wherever you get your podcasts and join us on this thrilling journey of faith and miracles.
