Absurd Truth: Barista Bargaining

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Offer valid $515 through $528. Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I am really mad at this dude. A Florida man was arrested Tuesday because he shot his neighbor's cow multiple times because he was angry that it had jumped over his fence. It was a two year old calf that had at least five gunshot wounds. She had been shot in the chest, the abdomen or the guts, the rear leg, everything.

The animal was lying on the ground struggling to move in a lot of pain as the deputies approached, and it had to be euthanized. And the the cow's owner said his neighbor Hung Trinh, T-R-I-N-H, 54, was angry. Oh man, I can't, and he used, he used a 22. Like an absolute pansy.

Hung Trinh, major Florida Man pansy, used a 22. To go and shoot this calf. So he's charged with animal cruelty.

I personally think he ought to be dragged behind a truck, but that's me. Grand theft of a commercial farm animal, according to the sheriff's office. And I'm glad that the sheriff, Carmine Marceno, went hard on it and was like, we're not going to tolerate this because it's a farming community, number one. I mean, there's a lot of cattle ranchers in this area. And they, I like the way police handled it, but this infuriates me. That's so ignorant.

That is so ignorant. Fence. Oh, use your little, use your little sissy boy 22 to go out and handle the cow. Golly. Let's see. Oh, man bites dog, dog bites man.

Coyote attacks Florida Man in a shocking junkyard incident. I'm, it's an, I can't get this to open. Of course, of course it would. Yeah, we're gonna have to probably have to. I don't think we're gonna be able to get this one. Yeah, well, I can't get that either.

Because yay, yay Safari. I know. Anyway, but I'm mad about the guy that, so the coyote attacked a Florida man, shocking junkyard incident.

It was on Tuesday. And the guy was going about his usual routine. And he saw this like, disoriented, rough looking coyote. And it wandered into his lot. And then it just lunged at him. He said it, he goes, it didn't just bite and run that it held onto his arm. And they had to call Florida, you know, wildlife, etc. But that, I mean, that sounds rabid.

In those instances. They didn't follow up on that, but I hope I'm sure that they checked it out. I'm trying to understand why they're upset. Welcome back to the program.

Dana lash with you. And that's right. What are the what's wrong with the uniform? Nothing.

Like what are they I don't understand. They said that they're they're protesting the dress code per AP. Because it requires them to wear a solid black shirt and khaki black or blue denim bottoms. And then under the previous dress code, they could wear a broader range of darker colors.

They said they want their green aprons to stand out. And a Starbucks workers united said the dress code should be subject to collective bargaining. Starbucks, they said has lost its way instead of listening to baristas who make the Oh my gosh, are you? What is the Starbucks experience? What it is? Wait, what is the Starbucks experience?

Hold up. What is the Starbucks experience? My favorite is the names purposefully not being right, which I think is a gimmick.

Do you ever see the thing where the guy was like, My name is Mark with a C and they put karke on the cup. Yeah. And like, what else? Like when you wait for forever for your over roasted beans?

Right? Is that what it is? Or I mean, I'm just curious. Like, it's, I don't know.

I don't get it. You're it's you're you're serving coffee. You're a barista. When I was a waitress throughout college, I had to wear like darker slacks. I got a uniform shirt, but I had to wear dark colored slacks and dark tennis shoes.

I could not wear bright colors. And I went with it because that was the rule. Businesses have the right to go. We want to make sure our branding stands out.

And if you don't like it, dear sweet heavens, go get another job. Because it's amazing. There's so many coffee places in the United States, Kane. There's so many coffee places in the United States.

It's not like a heritage thing. I have to work at Starbucks because my grandmother worked at Starbucks and her grandmother worked at Starbucks. You make coffee.

It's very simple. Somebody goes customers don't care what color our clothes are. I don't care about hearing someone bitch about having to wear a certain attire to make coffee.

I just, I don't care. They said that they're being criticized because they sell styles of Starbucks branded clothing that employees can't wear. And Starbucks said it would give two free black t shirts to each employee when it announced the dress code. That's what I got when I worked at Houlihan's.

Oh, I did. I was slinging that taty soup. I worked at Houlihan's. I had to wear dark, I had to wear black tennis shoes and they were not the attractive kind. They were like nursing home tennis shoes. And black trousers and I like a maroon shirt. And it had to be long sleeve. I can't even wear short sleeve. My stuff had to be long sleeve and it had to be button down shirt. That's what I had to wear. It was really unfortunate in August.

So the apparently fewer than less than 1% of Starbucks workers are even participating in the strikes. I'm just I'm sorry. This is such a first world entitled brat problem. Can you if someone's like doing that for this, can you just make fun of them while they're doing it?

Like I'm so sad. I don't get to wear what I want to wear at work. Man, how do you think doctors and nurses feel when they got to wear scrubs to operate on brains and stuff?

Wow. You're making coffee. Now, if you don't like it, you can go work at Dunkin or I know what their uniform requirements are or a million of these other little coffee places. Do you think it's like a bragging point? Wait, here's a question I have. This ought to be honestly like a Christopher Guest documentary called Barista.

I just came up with it right on my head, where it's like best in show that made fun of dog shows and Parker Posey was in it and it's hysterical. But it's like for Barista. So is it and the reason I am asking this, is it because do they view being a Barista at Starbucks as like snooty? Like, oh, you're you work at Dunkin. I'm a barista at Starbucks. Is that Steve?

You're a millennial. Is that a thing? Is it? Do you know anybody who's a barista? Is that literally look like that? I mean, it's a fancy word for a coffee house employee who literally pulls espresso.

You know, what's funny is that the only people I know that are still working that type of job look exactly like that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, is there I would be more I don't know, like I just I'm wondering what the specific complaint about the dress code is, because they haven't stated it. They said we're against a dress code, but they haven't stated what about that dress code is unpleasant or whatever it is they're standing against. It's not what we want, Cain.

Right. That's literally all they're saying. Yeah, I don't get it. I they don't like long sleeves, like they don't like black shirts. They haven't said anything about what the dress code is and what their actual objections are. They're just objecting to the idea of a company having a dress code.

This is a waste of time. So barista is based on it originated in Italy. It's like, you know, it's a it's a person that makes the coffee, right?

And it's it's an Italian term. And I'm sorry, but I've been to Italian coffee shops in Italy, and I've been to Starbucks is what you're doing is not the same. It's not it is not don't sit here and try to sell me the stale ass lemon pound cake and you're over roasted beans and be like, no, I'm a barista.

You're pulling coffee. It's not the same. It is not the same experience.

I mean, I would like to think that it's not the same experience. I mean, I would like to think that some of the actual baristas that are in Italy, like when they're pulling espresso, if they think it smells bad or burnt or stale there. I'm not serving this. You don't even give us an affogato. Stop it. Oh, so mad. I have to wear these clothes to serve coffee.

So less than 1% are protesting. You cannot make fun of this stuff enough. Good night. And they're and they're mad about it. And I'm I'm I don't know. Clearly, I'm missing something. I apparently I don't know.

I just think that there's maybe I don't know like that. It's there. They said that. Yeah, they it should have been collective bargaining. Shut up.

Go work somewhere else then. I can't man. OK, so sidebar because this really puts me in the frame of mind. I've been watching this sci fi show basically about an alien invasion.

I don't really like watching a lot of TV, but it has to be engaging. And if your first 60 seconds isn't good, I'm not watching. Like I if like if I take a bite of food and it tastes bad, I will spit it on my plate and I will not eat it. I'm like, you know, life's too short. You know what I'm saying?

Like if I had bad coffee, I'll be like this tastes like Satan made it and I'll slide it back over. Anyway, so I've been watching this show. It's called The Eternaut and it's is it on Netflix?

I can't remember. Yeah, it's on Netflix. It's an Argentinian show based in Argentina. So there's subtitles. Never do a dub ever. Dubs suck.

They're horrible. But the show is called The Eternaut and it's not woke at all. There's no woke, but it is so good.

It's very brilliantly done. And my kids, one of my kids in particular, because I was talking about like, man, if this was happening, I would already be like a warlord. And I would have all this like like shut down and I'd have a gate and I'd have blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, rolling out my people or resources, you know, harvest.

And, you know, and my my son was like, you're not allowed out of the house. And I just this makes me want to fast forward into that world. Right.

Through all the asteroids, smod, everything else. Let's just get right to it. Right. But this kind of stuff, it puts me right there.

I'm like, this stuff wouldn't fly. Like if you're if it's not enough for you to be concerned about during Armageddon, then maybe don't get upset about it right now. Right. I feel like that's a pretty good measure. Use the Armageddon yardstick. Are you going to be mad about this if you have if you're dealing with an alien invasion and a pole reversal?

Because if not, shut up. Armageddon yardstick is a dope band name. Dude, right. That is actually a pretty good band name now that I think about it. But the Eternaut is fabulous. It's it's so good. It's such a good.

Oh, it's so good. But anyway, I'm like, I could I could swing that. I mean, sure, I'll fight aliens and whatever I could I can hang I could hang with that. But at least I won't have, you know, people complaining that they have to wear a certain kind of shirt while they're pulling coffee at the Starbucks. Would you want somebody like that making your food? I don't care about the attire of the person who's making my food. I don't either. I don't care what a company is little.

I just wanted them the time I'm supposed to get it. I just why is it 13 dollars for like a regular, you know, I don't get coffee at Starbucks because, you know. It took me like two visits to figure out the difference between Venti and Grande because Grande is supposed to be large. That's what Grande means.

And then Venti is only 20. And it's like, that's not very large. Well, you're not supposed to have that much coffee. But Venti is the largest.

Like nobody drinks. Like that's Starbucks made giant, you know, garbage sizes like normal. It's not supposed to be like that. Like your coffee should not be cold by the time you get to the end of it.

That's bad. That means you've been given too much and that's stupid. But I always like more coffee.

I mean, you can have several different shots of it. I like espresso or just like an Americano. I want it black and bitter like my heart. Save your stupid sugar and your milk that just reduces the intensity.

Nay. So anyway, I could not get over that story. I was fascinated by that.

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They call me the Emerald City Exile. The line on which the Democrat party has laid its collective neck. That is protecting illegal immigrants in this country. That should give us an idea as to how vitally important that population of people is to them.

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It's time for Dana's Quick Five. So apparently bald dudes are bringing back the toupee. Well women get extensions.

Man let me tell you something. You don't let abroad make fun of you for wearing a toupee. Because these girls out here getting like five foot long extensions put up on their head. If they're not getting extensions put up on their eyelashes. So you know what?

You don't get no heat for that. Take that to the bank. But they are bringing it back. I would imagine too that they are much nicer than they were like when I was a kid. Because when I was a kid it was very obvious that somebody had a toupee.

So they said that this is a New York Post piece. And they said that men are bringing them back. I also thought dudes were doing like the hair plugs or whatever.

Maybe, maybe not. But yeah toupees are coming back. They're coming back again. An ancient reptile footprint has upended theories about when animals evolved to live on land. There was a little short that Monty Python had one time. Where they took like this bone of something and fabricated it into a completely made up animal. And put it in a museum. It was a little, one of their little cartoon breaks that they had for Monty Python.

And it makes me, these kind of stories make me think of this every time. It's a 350 million year old fossil. And they said it shows characteristics similar to that of monitor lizards.

And it's been, it's in Australia. 350 million years ago they suggest is when it emerged. But they think that animals developed the ability to live on land faster than previously assumed. I actually don't really care about any of that. I mean I think it's interesting. But does it matter? Oh is it a billion years earlier or not?

Does it change where we are right now? I don't know, you know. Chimpan, oh this is really gross. Chimpanzees actually use leaves.

It's gross but not. They clean themselves. Like that's their, that's nature's tissue for them.

The leaves. It's nature's tissue. They've been studying them. The horrible left wing rag that is called The Guardian said that they did this study on all of these chimpanzees. And that's, have they always done that or is that new? I would imagine, I mean leaves have been around forever. Bad ape. What? The leaves have been around forever so I imagine they've been doing it forever.

But like them using them to actually groom themselves with a leaf. It's kind of, I don't know, it's interesting. Air traffic control hotline between Pentagon and Reagan, Washington National Airport. That's been broken since 2022.

I think that might be needed. They said that it's supposed to be for coordinating aircraft and it hasn't worked since March of 2022. They were not aware that the direct line was broken until a May 1st incident when a helicopter circled the Pentagon and caused two flights to abort landings.

I feel like they need to get that hotline fixed. So wait a minute. Poop Booty Juice, when he was Secretary of Transportation, he didn't know that? He didn't do anything about it. He didn't do anything about it. Sean Duffy gets in there and he's like, oh my gosh, what is happening? So he immediately remedies it. But what the hell was Poop, oh that's right. Poop Booty Juice had just bought some children and was pretending that he had birthed them in the hospital when he took months off for maternity leave. That's right, that's right.

The DOD also maintains the hotline, but the fact that you were not able to coordinate any of that air traffic and you had that issue happen, that's pretty crazy. I read this when I first read this. I thought it said a fish cemetery and I said what? A fisher's cemetery employee got charged because he dug up a grave for a gold ring. Sounds like old tales from the Crip story. Seth Davidson, 24, told police that he buried an urn with a gold ring in it and couldn't stop thinking about it.

And so this is in Indianapolis. He apparently dug it up. He grave robbed. We don't do that anymore. We don't grave rob. We haven't done that since, well, hell, I don't know, at least 100 years. We don't grave rob anymore, but not this guy.

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And Homeland Security is investigating whether Los Angeles County gave our Social Security benefits to illegals. I'm Greg Kourambas inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We'll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs too. Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

I believe that we will win! What they're mad because they have a that Starbucks baristas who are picketing because of a dress code. I'm trying to understand why they're upset. Welcome back to the program.

Dana Lash with you. And that's right. What are the what's wrong with the uniform?

Like what are they? I don't understand. They said that they're they're protesting the dress code per AP because it requires them to wear a solid black shirt and khaki black or blue denim bottoms. And then they under the previous dress code, they could wear a broader range of darker colors.

They said they want their green aprons to stand out. And Starbucks Workers United said the dress code should be subject to collective bargaining. Starbucks, they said, has lost its way instead of listening to baristas who make the oh, my gosh.

Are you? Instead of making this need to baristas who make the Starbucks experience what it is, what is the Starbucks experience? Hold up. What is the Starbucks experience? My favorite is the names purposefully not being right, which I think is a gimmick.

Did you ever see the thing where the guy was like, my name is Mark with a C and they put cark on the cup? Yeah. And like what else?

Like when you wait for forever for your over roasted beans. Right. Is that what it is? Or I mean, I'm just curious, like it's. I don't know.

I don't get it. You're it's you're you're serving coffee. You're a barista. When I was a waitress throughout college, I had to wear like darker slacks. I got a uniform shirt, but I had to wear dark colored slacks and dark tennis shoes.

I could not wear bright colors. And I went with it because that was the rule. Businesses have the right to go. We want to make sure our branding stands out. And if you don't like it, dear, sweet heavens, go get another job because it's amazing. There are so many coffee places in the United States, Kane. There's there's so many coffee places in the United States.

It's not like a heritage thing. I have to work at Starbucks because my grandmother worked at Starbucks and her grandmother worked at Starbucks. You make coffee.

It's very simple. Somebody goes, customers don't care what color our clothes are. I don't care about hearing someone bitch about having to wear a certain attire to make coffee. I just.

I don't care. They said that they're being criticized because they sell styles of Starbucks branded clothing that employees can't wear. And Starbucks said it would give two free black T-shirts to each employee when it announced the dress code. That's what I got when I worked at Houlihan's.

Oh, I did. I was slinging that taty soup. I worked at Houlihan's. I had to wear dark. I had to wear black tennis shoes and they were not the attractive kind. They were like nursing home tennis shoes and black trousers and I like a maroon shirt and it had to be long sleeve. I can't even wear short sleeve. My stuff had to be long sleeve and it had to be a button down shirt.

That's what I had to wear. It was really unfortunate in August. So the apparently fewer than less than one percent of Starbucks workers are even participating in the strikes. I'm just I'm sorry. This is such a first world entitled brat problem. Can you is it is it possible to I don't want to protest. I just want to make fun of people in a picket line style.

Can you if someone's like doing that for this, can you just make fun of them while they're doing it? Like I'm so sad I don't get to wear what I want to wear at work. Man, how do you think doctors and nurses feel when they got to wear scrubs to operate on brains and stuff?

Wow. You're making coffee. Now, if you don't like it, you can go work at Dunkin or I know what their uniform requirements are or a million of these other little coffee places. Do you think it's like a bragging point? Wait, here's a question I have. This ought to be honestly like a Christopher Guest documentary called Barista.

I just came up with it right on my head where it's like best in show that made fun of dog shows and Parker Posey was in it. And it's hysterical. But it's like for barista. So is it and the reason I am asking this, is it because do they view being a barista at Starbucks as like snooty? Like, oh, you're you work at Dunkin. I'm a barista at Starbucks. Is that Steve?

You're a millennial. Is that a thing? Is it do you know anybody who's a barista? Is that literally look like that? I mean, it's a fancy word for a coffee house employee who literally pulls espresso.

You know, what's funny is that the only people I know that are still working that type of job look exactly like that. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, is there I would be more I don't know, like I just. I'm wondering what the specific complaint about the dress code is, because they haven't stated it. They said we're against a dress code, but they haven't stated what about that dress code is unpleasant or whatever it is they're standing against. It's not what we want, Cain.

Right. That's literally all they're saying. Yeah, I don't get it. They don't like long sleeves, like they don't like black shirts. They haven't said anything about what the dress code is and what their actual objections are. They're just objecting to the idea of a company having a dress code.

This is a waste of time. So barista is based on it originated in Italy. It's like, you know, it's a it's a person that makes the coffee.

Right. And it's it's an Italian term. And I'm sorry, but I've been to Italian coffee shops in Italy and I've been to Starbucks. What you're doing is not the same. It's not. It is not. Don't sit here and try to sell me the stale ass lemon pound cake and your over roasted beans and be like, No, I'm a barista. You're pulling coffee. It's not the same. It is not the same experience.

I mean, I would like to think that some of the actual baristas that are in Italy, like when they're pulling espresso, if they think it smells bad or burnt or stale. They're, I'm not serving this. You don't even give us an affogato. Stop it. Oh, so mad. I have to wear these clothes to serve coffee.

So less than 1% are protesting. You cannot make fun of this stuff enough. Good night. And they're and they're mad about it. And I'm I'm I don't know. Clearly, I'm missing something. I apparently I don't know.

I just think that there's maybe I don't know like that. It's there. They said that. Yeah, they should have been collective bargaining. Shut up.

Go work somewhere else then. I can't man. OK, so sidebar because this really puts me in the frame of mind. I've been watching this sci fi show basically about an alien invasion.

I don't really like watching a lot of TV, but it has to be engaging. And if your first 60 seconds isn't good, I'm not watching. Like I if like if I take a bite of food and it tastes bad, I will spit it out on my plate and I will not eat it. I'm like, you know, life's too short. You know what I'm saying?

Like if I had bad coffee, I'll be like, this tastes like Satan made it. And I'll slide it back over anyway. So I've been watching the show. It's called The Eternot. And it's is it on Netflix?

I can't remember. Yeah, it's on Netflix. It's an Argentinian show based in Argentina. So there's subtitles. Never do a dub ever. Dubs suck.

They're horrible. But the show is called The Eternot and it's non woke at all. There's no woke, but it is so good.

It's very brilliantly done. And my kids, one of my kids in particular, because I was talking about like, man, if this was happening, I would already be like a warlord. And I would have all this like, like shut down and I'd have a gate and I'd have blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, rolling out my people or resources, you know, harvest.

And, you know, and my my son was like, you're not allowed out of the house. And I just this makes me want to fast forward into that world. Right.

Through all the asteroids, smod, everything else. Let's just get right to it. Right. But this kind of stuff, it puts me right there.

I'm like, this stuff wouldn't fly. Like if you're if it's not enough for you to be concerned about during Armageddon, then maybe don't get upset about it right now. Right. I feel like that's a pretty good measure. Use the Armageddon yardstick. Are you going to be mad about this if you have if you're dealing with an alien invasion and a pole reversal?

Because if not, shut up. Armageddon yardstick is a dope band name. Dude, right. That is actually a pretty good band name now that I think about it. But the Eternaut is fabulous. It's so good. It's such a good.

Oh, it's so good. But anyway, I'm like, I could I could swing that. I mean, sure, I'll fight aliens and whatever I could. I can hang.

I could hang with that. But at least I won't have, you know, people complaining that they have to wear a certain kind of shirt while they're pulling coffee at the Starbucks. Would you want somebody like that making your food? I don't care about the attire of the person who's making my food. I don't either.

I don't care what a company's little time I'm supposed to get it. I just why is it 13 dollars for like a regular, you know, I don't get coffee at Starbucks because, you know, it took me like two visits to figure out the difference between Venti and Grande because Grande is supposed to be large. That's what Grande means. And then Venti is only 20. And it's like, that's not very large. Well, you're not supposed to have that much. Venti is the largest. Like nobody drinks like that.

Starbucks made giant, you know, garbage sizes like normal. It's not supposed to be like that. Like your coffee should not be cold by the time you get to the end of it. That's bad. That means you've been given too much.

And that's stupid. But I always like more coffee. Then you can have several different shots of it. I like espresso or just like an Americano. I want it black and bitter like my heart. Save your stupid sugar and your milk that just reduces the intensity. Nay.

So anyway, I could not get over that story. I was fascinated by that and I absolutely had to share that with you. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.