Divorce — An Ugly Topic (Part B)

When wives will not submit, especially to a husband that is, you know, I'm standing up, this is my home, I'm head of the home, and she's fighting him every step of the way.

Oh man, better to sleep up on the rooftop, Solomon said. They're equally bad, male, female, can be equally bad. So, any believers that are exposed to these things must be ready to submit to God's Word and look for the blessings, whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, concentrate on those things. This is Cross Reference Radio with our pastor and teacher Rick Gaston. Rick is the pastor of Calvary Chapel Mechanicsville. Pastor Rick is currently teaching through the book of Mark.

Please stay with us after today's message to hear more information about Cross Reference Radio, specifically how you can get a free copy of this teaching. Now, here's Pastor Rick with part two of his message, Divorce, an ugly topic, in Mark chapter 10. There's skip sermons like this, like they know they're coming or something.

I don't know, maybe someone's listening, maybe you're online listening, maybe you're here in the church and you know you are the cause of trouble in your marriage because you're in the flesh all the time. You're not in the spirit. You're not looking to love and to be kind.

You're a critic. You attack. And when the other one shows you kindness, you exploit it in some way.

You become criminal in your heart. Stop it. Stop doing that. You'll be better off and so will everyone else around you.

Why should everyone, why do the lights dim when you walk in the room? So to be unhappy with your marriage, this is a newsflash for some, does not give you the right to sin in your marriage. Well, I'm not happy, so nobody's going to be happy. Did you pick that up from, you know, where did you get that from? It doesn't come out of your scripture.

Well, we're incompatible. Well, that's no excuse. You really don't have any excuses and Jesus is going to button that up. Again, Hosea did not ditch Gomer and he had reason to. He stuck in there. Abigail ran her home as best she could in spite of her doofus full husband Nabal. She did what she had to do and the evidences of that is when Abigail spoke to the servants, they moved. They did what she told them to do.

She kept that home in order in spite of him. Yeah, then you'll hear, well, so you're in a marriage session and the good spouse will say, well, I know I have my shortcomings and you want to stop it. Everybody's got them. That's nothing to do. You've got a wide margin here, so you mess up every now and then.

Who doesn't? Well, I mean, I'm the exception because I'm a preacher. So Bathsheba, she was the problem in her marriage, not Uriah. See, it can be one-sided. That's my point because we get this thing in our head, well, you know, they're both sinners and they both can't be doing everything. There's got to be both of them.

There's two people to mess up. No, it's not. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it is not. And then these folks, again, will pretend to be Christ-like and loving when they go to church and they go home and they're monsters and too slick and stonehearted to admit it and get caught easy.

This is unfortunate, but you need to know this happens. There's two sides to every story and sometimes one of the sides is just flat out corrupt. There's nothing redeeming about it. There are people that have no redeeming features. It's just, you know, there's nothing nice about that person. That's a very sad thing, but it's a fact. And we say it. Here's part of the deterrent. I don't want to be that guy ever.

I don't want to be that person that has no redeeming features, nothing kind, nothing lovable, nothing good. And it's not that hard to be good in Christ this way. And anyway, verse 6, keeping in mind those who blame others for their ignoring God's word and being hard-hearted, and that's what they do, blame somebody, blame the other spouse, verse 6, But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female. See, he's going past Moses now.

Paul does this also. He says, listen, since the beginning the man is the head of the home, I will not suffer a woman to usurp authority of the church and he goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. And that takes out the cultural argument.

Well, the culture was different. Well, this is the culture we're going with, the one that God has. His intention, and God's intention was that the man and the woman would complement each other through companionship. The primary reason for marriage is companionship. Other things, those secondary children, they're secondary, important, but secondary, companionship is number one.

You break that part up, then everything goes bad. And divorce exists because sinners just don't want to listen to God, but not because of God. So Genesis 1, 21 is where he's referencing God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them. Now, a side note to take a little break from the marriage thing, in the day we live in, it doesn't make me a bigot in the eyes of God to disagree with homosexuality and her militant advocates or this new bunch that's coming up that don't know if they're male or female.

I mean, it's almost comical, but it's not funny. I have here in my hands this form from the Department of Health in the state of New York where they don't know how to vote governors for governors, but we're not too good either. But anyway, this is the COVID-19 immunization screening consent form. And so on the first line, well after your name is, you put in your name, your recipient name and then preferred name, the great one, I don't know. But then it's current gender ID, current gender ID, like it changes.

So they have W for woman girl, TW for transgender woman girl, M for man boy, TM for transgender man boy, MB for non-binary person, GNC for gender non, this is kind of off the page, conformist I guess, Q for not sure slash questioning, I don't know who I am. Well, how can you not? I mean really, but someone's told them they can be like this, you can be like this, I can.

Anyway, and some of you are getting, I don't like you. Tough, you're wrong. You're wrong. You're not very loving.

Why? Because I'm telling you you're stupid when you are? That that makes me not loving?

You're not loving or smart. NR, choose not to respond, GNL, gender not listed. I would be offended.

I'd say, wait a minute, where's Martian? Then there's an asterisk, gender pronouns right in by client's name. Then there's another box right after this one, sex assigned at birth.

Why? Why you got everything up top? So it has male, female, intersex, which is a possibility, and that's a legitimate one, and then sexual orientation not listed. Why do they have all of this? Because they want people to honor this behavior.

It's the only, it's irrelevant information. Why does any, you need a shot, you want an immunization shot, why does anybody have to go through this? Because you have to be brainwashed, and we don't only want recognition, we want you to honor us. Not enough that Caesar thinks he's God.

You have to put incense on his altar to honor him. You can't say live and let live. You have to bow down and say there's something noble about this stuff.

Yeah, there is if Satan is your God. And so this is the kind of stuff that gets us censored now, because there's no longer free speech, at least not according to the tech world. Free speech is evil.

You have to conform and agree or you are censored. So again, this does not make me a bigot because I side with God, and I can reject your sin without hating you, but it won't help you if you persist in your sin. God has told us to love people who are being tripped up by Satan because we wouldn't love them otherwise. We have to be commanded.

It makes perfect sense. Jesus says to us, listen, you're going to encounter people that you're going to not like, but I need you to love them and want them saved and do what you can do to be part of the salvation process. Because if he said that you can hate them, then we would be like Islam and try to destroy our enemies. And you may say that's a bigoted statement.

I'm just telling you like it is. Anyway, 1 Corinthians, looking for reconciliation, 1 Corinthians 6 verse 9, do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. These are the impenitent ones, not the troubled ones, not ones that struggle with these things, the ones that don't care what God says about these things. And the church comes along and says, listen, this kind of behavior has to be faced and not promoted, not honored.

I've worked in an industry where it was a dishonor to not be at the bar at lunchtime. Why don't you go with us? You don't like us?

Matter of fact, not when you go there, and I don't. A. W. Toja said, future historians will record that we of the 20th century, that was written in the 20th century, had intelligence enough to create a great civilization, but not the moral wisdom to preserve it. That's why Christ is going to draw the line and come back. Because of the lawlessness, the love of many will grow cold.

So this gender re-identification, it is sin. And some of you sit here, maybe you'll listen, and you don't like hearing that. Why not? Why don't you like that?

Because the world has got its talons in you and is sucking your life from you. That's why. Verse 7, for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. God made them to be together as a unit, and husband and wives have no right to go devil on each other. Not what God intended. Proverbs 11 29, he who troubles his own house will inherit the wind, and the fool will be the servant of the wise of heart.

And where Jesus quotes this Old Testament verse, a man shall leave his father and mother, leave as in forsake if necessary. If they become a problem and start dividing the marriage, then you know what? I can't do that. I can't allow that. You behave yourself, we can keep the doors open. But if you misbehave to the point where you're breaking my marriage, I've got to shut you down and protect my marriage.

And join, cemented together, which is necessary. Remember Adam's words when he was given a wife, Genesis 2. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of me. There was more to it than Adam saying, she shall be called woman. There was like, whoa, whoa, this is nice. This is flesh of my flesh, bone of my, this is nice, God. That's what was going on there. We know that because he made the blunder of being so endeared to his wife that he disobeyed God.

And so we learn, we look for the deterrence. Verse 8, and the two shall become one flesh, so they are no longer two. Now, the early church had to deal with polygamy. That was a problem. People with multiple wives and children from these wives were coming into the church.

The early church did not put them out. They just drew line. Okay, don't keep doing this, okay? You got your nine wives, no more.

All right. Anyway, the Bible says these two shall become one flesh, not these three or these four. Polygamy is never something God endorsed. It's something he tolerated. And we're not going to get into that at the moment. But the new church, as I mentioned, had to deal with so many problems that were foreign to the experience of these apostles who came out of Judaism.

And they did it in a very good way. And so the New Testament church today has to look for solutions to people who have made a mess of their lives according to the scriptures. Verse 9, therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate. God intends marriage to be permanent, and pastors are not to help divorce it.

You know, okay, I encourage you to get a divorce. We don't do that. We must labor to uphold scripture. Galatians 6, a beautiful verse. Every Christian should know this verse, especially if you tend to be critical of others. And if you're critical of others, I'm being critical of you.

No, I'm not. Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Now some will provoke you, and so that gentleness goes away. That not, you know, you can't give in to that. I've done it, and it has not worked out well. Some in marriages provoke the other one. You provoke them, and then blame them for being provoked.

That cheap stuff is that. So, you know, coming to the pastor looking for loopholes to get out of a marriage is not advisable. I find when a Christian is considering divorce, they're already cutting ties with what Jesus wants. Again, anyway, verse 10 continues, Jesus finished speaking, now concerned with the Pharisees.

Verse 10, in the house that his disciples also asked him again about the same matter. They were disturbed by this, this permanence in marriage. Matthew says this, his disciples said to him, if such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better to not marry.

And they said, look, if marriage goes bad and I can't get out of it, I don't want to get married. Jesus said, he said, well, there are those that can do that because from birth they don't have this attraction to the opposite sex. There are those that are forced to be eunuchs, and of course, then they lose that attraction.

Then there are others that just have enough willpower to, such as Paul, for example, that they can go in ministry and that's not an issue. Otherwise, you're stuck, and that is just the fact. And so then you have to say, okay, I do have this attraction, I want the companionship, I desire it, nothing wrong with any of that. Okay, commit yourself to make it work. That's what the vows are for. You are committing yourself to make it work. Now again, this is painful to some of you who may have been, you know, victimized, or you may have been the violator. Well, what are we going to do to fix it? He's not looking to condemn you. He's not looking to hurt you. Forgetting those things which are behind, reaching forward to those things which are behead, which are ahead, not behead, which are ahead.

That would be bad. Jesus held a very high standard, permitting divorce only in the most extreme circumstances, and they were disturbed by that. 2 Corinthians 5, here are our marching orders, Christians, reconciliation. Paul says, now all things are of God who has reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us a ministry of reconciliation. Don't let that be missing from your Christian toolkit, the ministry of finding solutions.

He says, that is, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now some will make it impossible. You cannot reconcile them. They just rebuke, and that's it. Because of their hard heart, they're impenitent, and there's nothing you can do. But then there are others that, you know, I sinned, pastor.

I really blew this, and I blew it terribly. All right, let's see what we can do. Sometimes you just can't, because there are others involved, and you say to them, look, you're going to have to fix this, but you've got to fix it in another church.

You can't do it here. We love you, God has forgiven you, but the people that you have violated are here, and now we have another conflict, and sometimes you just can't. Verse 10, I'll come back to that.

Verse 11, so he said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. So Jesus is not backing down because they don't like it. He never backed down because, are you two going to leave?

He said, are you also going to leave? Because others have left me before for preaching what they didn't like. Here is a fact. If a pastor says, I make mistakes, I am not perfect. Everybody says, Amen. We saw that. They say, Amen.

If he proves that he makes mistakes, some don't give him the benefit of the doubt or the mercy. That's it. He said that. Oh, that's it. I'm done. I was like, oh, boy. Anyway, I had to get that out.

I carry it around with me a lot. So knowing the scripture does not make one a Christian. As we mentioned, Satan knew the scripture enough to quote it to Jesus, and he certainly wasn't a Christian. And I say this because there are those that try to hide behind their knowledge of the Bible to justify their trampling of the Bible.

Isn't it crazy? And people, they follow, they believe them sometimes. They're stubborn, they're disobedient, they're defiant, they're self-willed, they're sinful, they're un-Christ-like, and they are slick, or else they wouldn't get away with it. And others, you know, the person that just wants everything to work out, just living in wonderland somewhere, just kind of enables them to be this way. An evil, vicious husband, mean, non-submissive wives.

So long as they stay that way, there's a problem. And again, I'm saying these things to deter any would-be violators. I'm saying these things this way to cause the guilty to say, I better mend my ways, and to cause the others to stop cutting slack where slack does not belong for those who trampled. Say, I can't agree with you. I think that you're trying to get out of your marriage, and you're wrong. I love you, I care about you, but I do not agree with you. It's okay to do that.

You may be attacked for that, you may be physically attacked for that, but that is what it is. Many times, they're just flat-out liars having no intention of submitting to God's word while they're quoting it. Now, I will have to add this.

This is very important. Many churches impose a lifetime sentence on celibacy for those illegitimately divorced. You can never marry again because you were the problem of the first marriage. Well, that works very nicely on paper, and this has something to do with what Moses was saying in Deuteronomy 24. If they repent, if they genuinely repent, what do you do?

You have to look again for... I should have named this message, Solutions to Ugly Problems. You cannot ignore the anguish caused by the failure in a life, and you cannot ignore that there's a lot of life remaining to be lived.

And you cannot slap on people sentences that they have no way of fulfilling. What we could do, treating a penitent soul that way, is send them into the arms of the world, or to a heretic church that will show them more acceptance than those who are thinking through the word. You say, what basis do you have for this, pastor? Matthew 18, 18. Jesus, speaking about authority, says this to his apostles. Assuredly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

And Paul exercised this when he got out into the Gentile world. He said, you know what? You want to eat shrimp? Have it. There's none of these restrictions on food. You want to be a vegetarian?

Fine. Be a vegetarian. It has nothing to do with your faith. These things are useless against the indulgences of the flesh.

The Jews hated him for this. But Paul was given this authority by God to bind and to loose bad doctrine from good doctrine, application of the word from misapplication of the word. Or else we would all be just back in Judaism. A church that takes too hard a line on divorced, illegitimately divorced people, again, forces them to go against the urges that they cannot shut off.

You cannot say to someone, you can never marry again, and that's final. However, if the person is penitent, you can say, you can't come here. If you are not admitting your sin, you cannot come in here holding up your arms to God, telling him how you love him, how holy he is, while you are thumbing your nose in his face at the same time. And we happen to know it. Now you make us perpetrators along with you. So there's difficult things. You guys, after a sermon like this hearing about how pastors have to deal with broken marriages and restoration of Christians, you ought to be picketing outside this church for a raise for your pastor.

Big signs, we demand a raise. And pictures like Mao and Stalin all over the place of the pastor in white patent leather, anyway. That's so stupid, right? Illegitimate divorce can proliferate adultery. It can spread it. If these things aren't handled the right way, it can give cause to it.

And that's what we're trying not to happen. Banishing them forever from ever worshiping again is not the solution even in Christ. Otherwise, he would have said, yep, she's got an adultery. I'll throw the first stone because I have no sin. He did not do that.

The mercy of God, the solutions we have to find. Verse 10, and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. So he leaves it. He says God's standard is high, but he doesn't abandon the topic. He leaves it for his apostles to struggle through it. And that they did.

And remember, they had some big problems. When Paul wrote, I'm almost over time. When Paul wrote Corinthians to the Romans, he was writing what he saw in Corinth in that first chapter. And he had to deal with that in his church. In verse 10, and if a woman divorces her husband and she remarries another, she commits adultery. I close with two scripture verses. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Colossians 3, 19. Ephesians 5, 22. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. When husbands are bitter, it makes the marriage awful. When wives will not submit, especially to a husband that is, you know, I'm standing up, this is my home, I'm the head of the home, and she's fighting him every step of the way.

Oh man, better to sleep up on the rooftop, Solomon said. They're equally bad. Male, female can be equally bad. So, any believers that are exposed to these things must be ready to submit to God's word and look for the blessings. Whatever things are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, concentrate on those things. And those who will not submit, keep the door open if possible. Perhaps later they will.

But until they behave, they must be treated as those who are incorrigible. Thanks for tuning in to Cross Reference Radio for this study in the book of Mark. Cross Reference Radio is the teaching ministry of Pastor Rick Gaston of Calvary Chapel Mechanicsville in Virginia. To learn more information about this ministry, visit our website, crossreferenceradio.com. Once you're there, you'll find additional teachings from Pastor Rick. We encourage you to subscribe to our podcast. When you subscribe, you'll be notified of each new edition of Cross Reference Radio. You can search for Cross Reference Radio on your favorite podcast app. That's all we have time for today, but we hope you'll join us next time as Pastor Rick continues to teach through the book of Mark, right here on Cross Reference Radio.