Thanks so much for joining us on the Line of Fire.
As you listen, I hope you can hear the smile in my voice. Yes, it is my joy to serve as your voice for moral sanity and spiritual clarity five days a week. We are, every single one of us today as followers of Jesus in America, and other countries as well, we are in the Line of Fire.
That is the reality. You know, Paul refers to some of his co-workers like Timothy as soldiers. It even says, endure hardship as a good soldier of Messiah Jesus. So we're not fighting the way the world fights in terms of our spiritual battles. We overcome hatred with love. We overcome lies with truth. We overcome the power of the flesh with the power of the spirit. We overcome evil with good. Paul writes to the Romans and says, don't be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. We bless those who curse us.
We pray for those who despitefully use us. These are biblical responses to the spirit of the age. Paul also says this in 2 Corinthians 10. He says that the weapons that we fight with, they're not worldly weapons. They're not earthly weapons. They are mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. And that's what we're seeking to do in the Line of Fire broadcast is we equip you, as we help you, as we strengthen you, so that we can pull down strongholds of falsehood with the truth of the word.
Jesus said that if you continue in my word, then you are my disciples indeed, and you'll know the truth, and the truth will set you free. Hey, quick question before we continue to discuss the church and cultural issues. What do we do if our kid comes out as gay?
What do we do if we're interacting with a trans individual who wants to be called by a name other than their biological name or identified other than their biological sex? So before we get into this, do you know that every week I write between four and five new articles dealing with the very real world in which we live in, from politics to theology to culture to Israel. Four or five articles every week, and then we put out four or five new videos every week, sometimes more, which means that every week we're putting out resources to answer the questions you're asking and to strengthen you, to equip you, and to empower you. You say, how do I keep up with all that?
Don't worry about it. Once a week we send out, we send out an email with the latest articles and latest videos. Just look at the headlines, click on what you're interested in, and then share it. Share with your friends, share it with others in social media, and then once a month or equipping Frontline newsletter. So if you're not getting that, go to thelineoffire.org. You'll also be getting our weekly emails to thelineoffire.org.
Go there, sign up, and we can pour into you every single week, really every day of the week. Okay, what happens if your child comes out and says, mom, dad, I'm gay, I'm lesbian, I'm bi, I'm trans. How do you respond? Now, if you may be of the mindset of, hey, everybody goes through phase, it's no big deal, or hey, look, it's not a sin, that's just a cultural thing. But if you are a Bible-believing follower of Jesus, you know that that's not what God intended. You know that God has a better way. You know that he didn't accidentally put the wrong person in the wrong body.
You understand that he doesn't bless same-sex relationships. So when you hear that, it could really be a blow to you. You might feel personally responsible.
What did we do wrong? You may react with anger, hurt, pain, surprise, shock, all kinds of different emotions you might feel. Maybe you never saw this coming with your kid at all. There's something called rapid onset gender dysphoria. It's especially common with teen girls between 15 and 17, and they will suddenly, with no prior indication, come out and say, I'm transgender.
Those that can be autistic, the numbers are even higher in terms of percentage. Sometimes whole groups of girls come out together in this way. What if you just had no indication about this, and your child wants to sit down and talk to you, maybe they're 16 years old. How do you respond? First thing to realize is that this is not easy for them to do. Maybe they've been struggling for years, and they finally sum up the courage to tell you. So you don't want to react with anger towards them and push them away when they're trying to be vulnerable with you. Even if their attitude towards it is not the best, maybe they're uncomfortable and they don't know the best way to say things. And they're not going to say, well mom, dad, I love Jesus, but I'm struggling with same-sex attraction.
Maybe they don't have a relationship with the Lord. Even if they do, the language that they know, the universal language, everything they've heard from their peers, from their friends, from social media, from TV, from movies, everything they've heard is, this is who you are. This is your identity. You're gay, you're lesbian, you're bi, you're trans.
This is who you are. So that's the language they're likely to use. So don't react to the language and don't respond with anger. This is a key moment in your child's life where your presence is super, super important.
Now, the first thing that you could do, and I'm not trying to script this for you, but principles, the first thing you want to do is say, listen, you know how we feel and what we believe. You don't need to hammer that. You don't need to tell them day and night. You don't need to post it on every wall in their bedroom. You don't need to leave them secret messages when they're having their cereal in the morning, whatever, with the scripture verse. Just one time, because they already know. If they've been raised in a home where you've been clearing your convictions and beliefs, they already know, and they probably think the worst, and they probably exaggerate even how you look at someone who's same-sex attracted or identifies as bi or trans, etc.
So you just tell them one time, you know what we believe, and these are deep convictions we have based on the Word of God. But you're a kid. You're always going to be our kid. We love you. Nothing changes in our relationship with you. Nothing changes in our love for you. Nothing changes in our heart for you. You're a son. You're an adult.
You're always going to be. And we're here for you. And we love you deeply. In fact, right now, we feel especially involved with you because you're being so open and vulnerable. So tell us what's going on. And then ask them questions. Not like a prosecuting attorney, but ask them questions like, so how long have you felt this way? And can you trace it back? And remember when these feelings started?
And what do you think? Have you been influenced by others? Do you have other friends? Just ask honest questions to try to understand. And then to say, what about your relationship with the Lord?
They might say, well, that's on hold right now. Or I don't believe in him at all. Or he's cool with it.
Or I'm struggling for that very reason. Try to find that out. And then say, hey, listen, we're here. You've now come out and shared this. Well, I want you to affirm me. Oh, we can't do that. We affirm you as our kid. We affirm you as a child that we love.
We affirm you as a person with destiny and purpose. But we can't do, if you don't do that, then I'm going to leave the house. We really don't want you to. We absolutely don't want you to. But no, we can't compromise our convictions. You should know that.
And we're sure God has a better plan. You know, if they say, well, if I can't transition, I'm going to kill myself. Say, well, listen, listen, how about we sit down and get you some good, solid counseling? And let's try to get to the root of this, because are you aware that the vast majority of kids, let's say they're much younger, the vast majority of kids that identify as trans before puberty don't identify as trans after, it could be 80, 90% of them don't.
And if they say, well, I've already been through that, this is who I am. So listen, how about if we just sit down and watch something together? Can we do that as a family? The story of a couple of trans people and gay men, can we just watch their stories and see their own journeys?
Because they went through all this and they had surgery and did these different things and realized they made a big mistake. Can we do that? You know, see if you can, and if so, then sit down and watch In His Image together, or ask them to watch it alone, In His Image.
You can watch it on YouTube, In His Image, or you can go to InHisImage.movie, and you can watch it there. But it's a great resource. It's good for you as parents to watch, to encourage you, and to help you know how to minister. And then, if they're serious about the Lord, do a Bible study together with them. The key thing is, you don't want to alienate them on your end.
They may pull away from you. And if they are in an active same-sex relationship, you treat that just like they were sleeping with a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It's wrong, and it's not going to happen in your house, and you have to determine what you allow and don't allow as parents. Well, if you found out your kid was doing drugs or drinking, you know, what are you, how are you going to respond? Or they're, you know, watching porn in the room every night, how are you going to respond to that?
This is just another area of flesh of the expression you have to respond to. But again, you don't need to bombard them with what you believe the Bible says, because they already know that. If you've been clear, if you've been clear in raising them, if your church has been clear, you don't need to just put something, you know, they find it under their pillow.
Or were there, you know, when you, if you're still doing their laundry, you know, hide it in with their laundry so they look at the scripture. You don't need to do that. You don't need to badger them.
You don't need to beat them. Instead, you need to be there as loving moms and dads. But the principle, hearts of compassion, backbones of steel.
You express your love, you express your concern, you express your deep devotion to them and make it clear you're there for them no matter what. But you also remember what Jesus said, whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. So it's Jesus first.
If we really want to honor the person, we have to put Jesus first. All right, I've got more to say about working this through in your own life and helping you as parents work this through with your kids. We'll do that right on the other side of the break.
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Call 1-800-771-5584, 1-800-771-5584 or online at trivita.com. Thanks friends for joining us on the Line of Fire. This is Michael Brown, my great joy to be with you as we seek to infuse you with faith and truth and courage to help you stand strong on the front lines.
This is something really, really important. I talked yesterday about someone saying I'm a gay Christian and why I believe that is wrong terminology to use for someone that understands that same-sex relationships are wrong in God's sight. And they say no to those relationships and no to those temptations and desires, but they want everyone to know, hey, this is who I am. It is not who you are. You struggle with same-sex attraction, but those attractions don't define you.
This is a very powerful concept to take hold of. Your same-sex attractions or your trans identity, it does not define you and you cannot make those things your identity. If you struggle with gender identity issues, you feel like a man trapped in a woman's body or a girl trapped in a boy's body. I can't relate to that. I don't claim to be able to relate to that. I'm not going to come with a bleeding heart and say, oh, I get it.
I don't get it. You're going through a struggle I've never gone through. You're going through a struggle that must be unimaginably difficult. But the key to freedom begins with recognizing that is ultimately not who you are. Your attractions, your desires do not define you. What defines you is being a child of God. What defines you is being born from above and living in Jesus as a new creation.
That's what defines you. So when we buy into the idea, this is who I am, I'm gay, I'm lesbian, I'm bi, I'm trans, we've already lost half the battle. A colleague of mine from Australia, a Jewish man that recognized his same-sex attraction and decided to really study out what did Judaism say, study out what the Bible said and then study what science said and did a deep dive and became a great resource to me over the years.
Found me online talking about these things, reached out to me and sent me hundreds and hundreds of references, articles, books, insights. And for him as someone who was same-sex attracted, he said half the battle was identity. Once he stopped identifying as this is who I am, I am gay, once he realized okay this is something I struggle with but it's not who I am, it was liberating. If you can help your kid that comes out as gay and help them understand, listen I know these feelings are very deep and you feel attracted, you may feel attracted to the same sex just as your husband and I or my husband and I, my wife and I, our spouses, we feel attracted to each other as heterosexuals, right?
You may feel it's just the same, normal for you but in fact it's not who you are, it's not how God created you, it's not his desire for you, it's not his plan for you. So you start there with that understanding, help them to realize this is not who I am. Suddenly everything changes. I was in Singapore speaking to five or six thousand people at a major convention there and I did some Q&A with young people and the question came out, what do you say to your friend, best friend who sits you down, you're 14 years old, you're 18 years old, sits you down and says I got to tell you something really heavy. You've been best friends for years. I got to tell you something really heavy.
What? I'm gay. How do you respond? My response would be I thought you're going to tell me something really heavy.
What is it you want to tell me? That. It's like oh, all right, so you struggle with same-sex attraction. That's not the end of the world. That doesn't define you. That's where we have to start.
Diffuse it. That doesn't define you. Gender identity struggles. They don't define you and I'm not saying that it's just easy to make things go away or you just snap your fingers and everything changes. What I am saying, what I am saying is that the identity issue is big in terms of changing your understanding.
Okay, let's go a little further. I heard a former lesbian make the comment, God says be thou holy because I am holy, not be thou heterosexual because I am heterosexual. Be holy because I am holy. Leviticus 19 quoted in 1 Peter 1. Be holy because I the Lord your God am holy.
Not be heterosexual because I the Lord your God am heterosexual. Yes, heterosexual is God's design for the human race. Yes, that's how he made us biologically. That's how he made us in every other level so that we would be ultimately compatible, male with female, female with male, and reproduce and fill the earth and glorify him together as male and female who become one.
Absolutely, 100 percent, undeniably. At the same time, the sacred calling is to be holy. The sacred calling is to say no to sin and yes to God. The sacred calling is to be conformed to the character of Jesus and thought and will and heart and mind and conduct. That's our calling to be as he is.
That's what we need to cultivate. In other words, we make a mistake when we try to just get somebody to become heterosexual. Oh wow, you know, this guy just got saved. He's gay.
Now he's a believer and, you know, we got to cure him. And hey, you know, there's this one sister in the church. She's 20. She's beautiful.
This guy's 21. And she's beautiful. She's single. She loves Jesus.
Somehow she hasn't found the right guy yet. Let's connect him and like she'll cure him of his heterosexuality, all of his homosexuality. All you're going to do is get everybody frustrated.
All you're going to do is get everybody frustrated. You don't want to make that mistake. You can't just decide, I'm going to be straight. I'm going to be straight. I'm going to be straight. Any more than you can just decide if you're left-handed, I'm going to be right-handed.
If you're right-handed, I'm going to be left-handed. However, God can change us. Don't deny the power of the gospel. But what you want to do with someone who comes to the Lord, right, out of a gay lesbian lifestyle, what you want to do is help disciple them to grow in Jesus. And you want to grow in Jesus. You want to help disciple them to grow in the word of God. You want to help them get grounded, get stronger, draw closer to him, become more and more like Jesus, overcome sin in their own lives.
That's the big issue. And then as they walk with the Lord, many things can happen. It can be just over a period of years growing in holiness that desires change. It could be targeted counseling with godly gifted counselors that help to get to the root of same-sex attraction. Look, it is not a rule that everyone that's same-sex attracted was sexually abused as a child or raised in some unstable environment and had wrong exposure to same-sex relations, etc.
This is absolutely not a rule. However, every counselor that I know, pastors who have counseled thousands of people over decades, professional counselors, one after another, secular counselors that are Christian, they will tell you the exact same thing. A disproportionately high number of those who as a lifestyle now identify as exclusively same-sex attracted had some earlier traumatic experience in their life.
Not everyone, you may be an exception, but an extremely high percentage. Many times through counseling, you can get back to the root of the same-sex attraction. Sometimes just like with every other sin and habit and lifestyle, there can be demonic influence and getting set free demonically can make a difference. Set free from the power of satan. The key thing is emphasize intimacy with god.
Emphasize holiness. Cultivate those things and as you do you'll find change come. One pastor said this, that he counseled people for decades and every imaginable thing, I mean from people attracted to the dead and bestiality, every unimaginable thing. People struggling with adultery, with gambling, porn, same-sex attraction, you name it. And it was this the same that he found that it was deep-seated that they felt to the core of their being that this was who they were and Jesus had to set them free from those things. Don't underestimate the power of God to change people. And even those who don't see a complete change from homosexuality to heterosexuality can find victory, grace, and lead abundant lives in Jesus.
All right, you say boy I'd like to get more teaching on that. Well here, we wrote the book, Can You Be Gay and Christian? Responding with Love and Truth to Questions About Homosexuality. We have found so many readers, they've been helped because God softened their heart, gave them a greater love for those who identify as LGBTQ. They found that they were now equipped to understand what the word said and to have answers. Sometimes just being able to refer someone, hey go here, this will help you. They also found that seeing where the trajectory went when someone identified as gay and Christian and then said well the Bible's been misunderstood and you can have healthy same-sex relationships that God blessed. And you see as we lay out in the trajectory where this ultimate leads, it's been really eye-opening.
So get your copy, it's yours. This is Dr. Michael Brown. Thanks so much for tuning in. Just a reminder that we are listener supported. If we have been a blessing to you, if you're being enriched in the word and prayer and your own walk with God through this broadcast, then stand with us so that we can reach many, many more and bless many, many more. Together friends, we're making a difference. So go to thelineoffire.org, thelineoffire.org and click donate.
