What Should I Say to a Loved One Who Came Out to Me?

What should I say to a loved one who came out of the closet to me? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of CORE Christianity. That's 1-833-843-2673. Of course, you can always post your question on one of our social media sites, and you're welcome to email us at questionsatcorechristianity.com. First up today, let's go to Alex calling in from Pittsburgh, Kansas. Alex, what's your question for Adriel?

Hello, Adriel. My question was, do you feel that it's okay to add some of the extra books that never made it in the Bible, namely the Book of Jubilees, which is mentioned in the Bible, the Book of Enoch, which is mentioned in the Bible, the Book of Jasher, along with your scripture reading? In so doing, how are you supposed to use those books when talking to other Christians to explain a lot of questions that the Bible doesn't answer? Thank you.

Hey, Alex, thank you for that question. There are several books that were written, many of them before the time of Christ, I think around 300 B.C. and beyond that, that are sometimes referred to as the pseudepigraphal books or apocryphal books. I mean, different people will refer to them in different ways, and some of them are quoted in the New Testament. The question is, should they be treated as a part of the canon of scripture?

There are some traditions that say, yeah, we sort of include them in the secondary sense, but in my mind, there's no reason. Even though they're quoted at times in places in the New Testament, it doesn't necessarily mean that they're part of the canon-inspired holy scripture. I mean, the apostle Paul, in Acts 17, quotes from pagan philosophers. That doesn't mean that what they said or what they wrote is God's inspired holy word, but oftentimes, the audiences to whom these writers were speaking in the New Testament were familiar with some of these pseudepigraphal writings, and so they're referred to. I'm thinking of places like the book of Jude, but again, that doesn't mean that we should include them in our canon of scripture, and there's a number of reasons for this. A lot of times, what we can find there is maybe contradictions with the established teaching that we find in holy scripture, maybe historical errors, issues just with regard to history. So this is one of the reasons why we don't include those books, and at least in terms of, I think, the Hebrews in the Old Testament, thinking about the quote-unquote canon of scripture, they were not included in the Hebrew Bible or treated in the exact same way as the holy scriptures were. And so I don't think that we should treat them as holy scripture. That doesn't mean that we can't read them separate from scripture and maybe glean into or get some insight into the kinds of ideas that were floating around during that time, and it might even help illuminate some texts of scripture, like what Jude says in Jude 1.

But again, I don't believe that that means that we should include them in our Bibles. Thanks, Alex, for your question. Hey, Alex, thanks so much for listening to Core Christianity.

We really do appreciate it. Well, we do receive voicemails, and you can call us 24 hours a day at 833-THE-CORE. That's 1-833-843-2673. Leave your voicemail. We do our best to review our voicemails each day.

Here's one that came in earlier this week. Hi, Pastor Adriel. Thank you for what you and everyone at Core Christianity Radio are doing. My question is about unconditional election. We see election in Scripture, and it's also more talked about through John Calvin, and I think Augustine also brings up election in his writings. But for someone like me who is a Christian, yet struggles with sin each and every day of his life, how do I truly know that I'm one of God's elect? I believe that Jesus is Lord.

I believe He's Savior. I believe what the Scriptures say, but I fall short every day when it comes to walking with Him. Even if I confess Christ as Lord and Savior and follow Him and abide according to His Word daily by faith in Him, how do I know that I'm saved? I mean, if I'm not God's elect, will I not be cast away to damnation?

I appreciate your feedback on this. Hey, brother, my heart goes out to you because I know personally the struggle of really wondering, am I saved? Especially early in my walk with the Lord, I really struggled with this. And then when you factor in the doctrine of election or predestination, well, that adds another component, doesn't it? Because then we begin to ask, well, was I chosen? I believe in Jesus, but am I deceiving myself?

And so you can kind of run around in circles without assurance really questioning. And that's not how God wants you to live your life. So the first thing I want to do for you is just pray for you and pray for all those, because I know that there are so many Christians who really wrestle with this, who want assurance. But like you, they say, I sin every day.

I struggle with sin every day. So let me pray first. Father, I lift my brother up to you, and with him, I want to lift up everyone who's listening right now, who really struggles with confidence that you love them, that you've forgiven their sins, that you've accepted them into your family, the body of Christ. I pray, God, that you would help all of them to cling to the promise in your Word, the promise of the Gospel, that instead of looking within, Lord, and trusting in their own holiness or trusting in how advanced they are in the Christian life, that they would look outside of themselves and up to you and up to your son, Jesus, who demonstrated your love so clearly for us when he went to the cross so that we don't have to doubt. And so I pray for my brother, Lord, would you encourage him? Would you grant him faith, strengthen his faith, Lord, in the promises of your Word so that he might rest in your love and in your forgiveness? I pray these things, God, in Jesus' name. Amen.

You see, brother, that's the answer. We do, each and every one of us, sin against God every day in thought, word, and in deed. And that's going to be a struggle that we experience for the rest of our lives. I think Paul talks about it in Romans 7. I think you get that struggle also in Galatians 5. You know, the flesh wars against the Spirit, and there are these sort of contrary desires that we have, and we're fighting to, by the grace of the Spirit, put to death those sinful desires and honor the Lord, walk with the Lord. But still, every day we struggle with sin. That doesn't mean that you're not a Christian. In fact, I think that's a sign that the Spirit of God is in you and at work in your life because you have this sense of conviction over your sins. You long to follow Jesus and to obey his law, but you realize, man, I fall short of that. Well, guess what, brother?

We all do. And so our confidence in God's love, in our salvation, can't come first and foremost from our progress in sanctification, from the fact that, you know, I've done really good this week, and then next week you struggle with some sin, you think, oh, maybe I'm not saved. No, your confidence has to be in God's word, in his promise.

And what does he say? He says that all those who confess their sins are indeed forgiven, that he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. It's not dependent upon how we feel when we wake up in the morning. It's dependent on his promise, on his word. So what we have to do is look outside of ourselves and cling to the glorious promise of the gospel, the object of grace of God that's extended to us through the preaching of the word, through the sacraments of grace, baptism, and the Lord's Supper. And so often when we're talking specifically about the doctrine of election, you know, God's choice of people from eternity past, you know, we want to get into the mind of God and think, okay, well, what have you decreed from all eternity, God?

But that's not for us to do, brother. God has revealed to us in his word his will for our lives and the promises that he gives to us that he calls us to cling to. And so you said you believe in Jesus, that you've received him, that you want to walk with him.

Well, we are chosen in Christ. And so you look to Christ and you look to what he's done. And that's what gives us confidence that God is indeed for us because we look at the cross and what Jesus did for us there and we cling to that. And this is one of the reasons, brothers and sisters, why those ordinances that Jesus left to us in his word are so important because you hear the preaching of the word of God in church on a Sunday morning and the fact that the grace of God is there for you. And you think, okay, well, I know that the preacher is talking to everybody here, but if he knew how I struggle every day, I don't know that he would be saying this to me.

And I think we can all feel that way at times. And this is why holy communion can be so important because it's more than just this sort of general word that goes out to the church that God loves sinners who can, you know, confess their sin. That even God demonstrated his love for us in that while we were still sinners, he sent Christ to die for us, Paul says in Romans 5. But specifically, by faith that you get to receive the body and blood of Jesus for you.

This is my body given for you. It's that particular grace, that promise of the gospel to us that we need to embrace and to cling to. And so again, we confess our sins, but we don't wallow in them and continue sort of with that introspective gaze. We look outside of ourselves and cling to the promise of God's grace to us in his word, and that's where we get assurance from. And may the Lord bless you with that assurance as you fix your eyes on Christ, brother.

So well said, Adriel. You know, we seem to get so many calls lately about assurance of salvation. And I know for many people, especially when their emotions are kind of playing havoc with them, they're feeling down or discouraged about their Christian walk or about their life in general, and they can start to really question their salvation. I love the way that you always turn it back to the historical truth of what Jesus did for us on the cross and not on our feelings on a given day. Amen.

I mean, because that's the only thing that's stable, right? Our feelings change. You know, the process of sanctification that we're all in, it's this daily battle, but we're not perfect. Nobody perfectly obeys the law of God. We don't perfectly love God and perfectly love our neighbors. And so we see that, especially if you have a sensitive conscience like this brother does, and you think, well, boy, do I really belong to Jesus?

Am I really saved? And that's why we have to focus not on our imperfect obedience for assurance. We have to focus on the perfect obedience of Jesus Christ, what he has accomplished in history, in his life, in his death, in his resurrection from the dead. And that gives us hope. And so, brothers and sisters, set your eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. That's where we go.

So well said. You're listening to Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We'd love to hear from you if you have any questions about the Bible, the Christian life doctrine or theology. Maybe there's something in scripture that kind of trips you up and you really would like an explanation. Well, Adriel, be glad to answer your calls. Also, maybe if you are a person who has doubts about the Christian faith, we are open to your calls as well. Or maybe you're somebody who considers yourself to be an agnostic or an atheist. Here is our phone number, 1-833-843-2673.

That's 833-THE-CORE. We do have a resource we want to tell you about today, and this is actually a great resource for parents or grandparents, even for an uncle or aunt. If you've got kids in your life in some way, shape or form, this is something we'd love to get into your hands. I know you've heard this question, why does God let bad things happen? Why does God let bad things happen to good people? You look at the world and there seems to be so much tragedy, so much disaster, so much brokenness. Would a good God let that kind of thing take place?

Sometimes referred to as the problem or the question of theodicy. We've got a resource here that is really geared for the younger audience. This is great, as Bill said, for parents or grandparents to work through with their children who are growing up and are being asked these kinds of questions or asking themselves this question, why does God let bad things happen? It's written by Chris Morphew. It's a great little book. You can get it over at corechristianity.com for a donation of any amount. Get ahold of this resource, and I know it will be a blessing for you and for your family. Great resource, as we said, for anybody that's got kids in their life. You can find that by going to corechristianity.com forward slash offers.

That's corechristianity.com forward slash offers. Of course, you can call us for any one of our offers at 833-THE-CORE. Well, if you have a question for us, we'd love to get your call anytime 24 hours a day. You can leave us a voicemail.

Let's go to a voicemail that came in from one of our callers earlier. First of all, my name is Margie, and my question has to do with my granddaughter, who is telling me that she is now gay. I don't know how to have the conversation. I mean, we did initially have a brief conversation where, you know, she started crying, and she acknowledged that that was something I would never be accepting of. But because it was in a very family-oriented setting, I didn't really have the opportunity to have a good conversation. I just really need some direction on what kind of conversation do I even have. It's kind of put a wedge in our relationship. I don't want to alienate her, but at the same time, I'm not going to coddle this topic.

It's something I'm really heavily struggling with. Thank you. Let's pray for Margie first. Father, we pray for our sister that you would give her wisdom in each of her interactions with her granddaughter, Lord, that you would fill her with your Holy Spirit, that she would be able to exhibit love, the fruit of your Holy Spirit, and a firm commitment to your truth, to your word, and, Lord, that that love and that conviction would move her granddaughter, that she would see, that her granddaughter would see that she is loved, Lord, immensely by her family, even where there are disagreements, and that she would be drawn to you, Lord, and to the truth of your word. Please be with our sister. Be with her family. We ask in Jesus' name. Amen.

Well, I think that the first thing, it sounds like this kind of came out in a group context, and so there's not a lot of opportunity to dig deeper there, but I would say following up, and maybe just asking some questions initially, reaffirming your love for her as your granddaughter, and asking questions, trying to understand. I want to understand where you're coming from. How long has this been a thing? I mean, it sounds like it's been perhaps an issue for a while, and it can be helpful also to distinguish. This is something that so many people are confused about today, but to distinguish between who you are as a person and your sexual desires. Too often today, people collapse their identity into their sexual feelings, their desires, so that I'm gay. That's who I am.

I'm a lesbian. That's who I am, and so who we are as persons is almost defined by our sexual desires. Well, that's not biblical.

That's not what the Bible teaches. Your granddaughter is made in the image of God, and that's first and foremost at the core of who she is, her identity. Now, how we feel, our desires are a part of that, but they don't define us, and so sometimes it can be helpful with these conversations to distinguish in that way, because so many people, this is the core of my identity, but the reality is no. It's not the core of our identity, and that's, I think, a lie of our culture today that needs to be challenged. I think you want to, sister, love her, pray for her, not affirm.

This is the big issue here, not affirm or just celebrate this decision. It sounds like it's clear that there's some difference here, that she understands that you believe the Bible, and I don't know if she's a professing Christian, but I think that would also help to determine how you approach this discussion, whether or not maybe she believes or says she believes the Bible as well, in which case you would want to go to the Scriptures and talk with her about what they say, but continue to love her, to pray for her, but also, as you do that, to maintain your convictions as a Christian and what the Bible teaches. I think the heart of the apostle Paul in Romans 9 for his kinsmen, his family members, if you will, according to the flesh, is helpful to think about. He says, I'm speaking the truth in Christ.

I'm not lying. My conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers. My kinsmen, according to the flesh, they are Israelites, and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises. To them belong the patriarchs, and from their race, according to the flesh, is the Christ, who is God overall blessed forever.

Amen. But the issue is these kinsmen of his, his family members, if you will, rejected the Gospel. And so he says, man, I have unceasing anguish in my heart. And I think we should, for our loved ones who reject the truth of God's word, we should have that anguish. And it should drive us to prayer.

It should drive us to our knees and saying, Lord, be at work in this situation. And I would say, even though you're not affirming her decision, you're sticking to what the Bible teaches, that doesn't mean pulling back from the relationship necessarily. I think even pressing in to the relationship, exhibiting your love for her just as a person, and continuing to cultivate that relationship, to ask questions, and to pray for opportunities to bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ to bear and the truth of God's word as it relates to identity and sexuality and who we are as persons created in the image of God, fallen with sinful desires, but granted grace and restoration through Jesus Christ. And so may the Lord be with you, Margie, and give you wisdom in those conversations and be with your granddaughter as well, opening her heart to him and drawing her closer and closer to himself. Some great counsel, Adriel. Thank you.

Just a follow-up question for you. How should we respond to, let's say, a friend or a loved one who says, okay, I'm gay, you have to accept it. Not only that, you have to affirm it, you have to endorse it, or you don't really love me. Well, we're talking about how love is defined, and some people just have incorrect definitions of love. Love does not mean that we have to affirm every decision that an individual makes and celebrate it. I mean, if you have children who you love dearly, you know that this is just not the case, right? Our children can make all sorts of decisions that we don't celebrate because we see that, okay, this is a dangerous thing.

You don't want to run into the middle of the road. And if you do, there are consequences because we love you and we care about you. And so there's just a lot of confusion out there about what love is. I think that we have to get to the core of what love is, understanding it according to Scripture, not on how it's been redefined by our culture, and exhibit true love to these individuals, which doesn't look like just shutting the door on them and saying, I can't believe you, you're horrible.

No, no, that's not what it is. It's a call to sacrifice, to care for, to take an interest in individuals without just sort of affirming everything that they do. And so I think that we can do that. Great. Well said.

This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Let's go back to the phones. John is on the line from St. Louis, Missouri. John, what's your question for Adriel? Hey, how you doing? I enjoy you.

Sure, I listen to it every time when I get a chance to. Anyway, of the signs for Christ's coming, which is the biggest sign that we're living in right now as far as Christ coming back? And another thing is when it says that God said that Jesus, you know, he said his son be a king over king, the Lord over lords. Does that, yeah.

Okay. Does that mean, hold on, I'm sorry. Does that mean when he said that God said that he said his son, but said that Jesus equal with God, but said that Jesus will then submit to God the Father?

What does that relate to? He's not submitting his position, but what does that refer to? Hey, okay, so I think right there you're referring to a text in 1 Corinthians chapter 15 where, you know, after the final enemy is destroyed, Christ offers up the kingdom to the Father. But we're not talking here specifically about any sense of inequality as to the nature or being of God, of the Holy Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

So I think that's a text you're referring to. Now with regard to the signs of Christ's coming, you know, what are the ones that we're seeing today? Well, I just think, listen to what Paul told Timothy in 2 Timothy chapter 3. Understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty, for people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness but denying its power. Avoid such people, Paul says.

This is, I think, you know, you read the description there and I think we can look around us in the world today and say, yeah, I'm seeing a lot of this. Now the fact of the matter is Paul could have said the same thing probably in his day as he's writing to Timothy. There is this sort of apostasy, this turning away that many New Testament writers speak about when they talk about the last days. You see it also in 1 Timothy chapter 4 verse 1. And the Spirit expressly says that in the later days or latter times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and the teachings of demons. So there's this departure, I think, from core Christianity, from the truth of God's word in the Gospel. And this is why it's so important for us to be firmly rooted in what the Bible teaches, to know the scriptures, what we believe, and why we believe it because we live in difficult days. God bless. You