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Now, here's today's message from Pastor Skip Heitzik. It is my belief That marriage Will simply magnify the personality you already have. Whether your personality, whether you're kind or unkind, whether you're a leader or you're passive, whether you are submissive or defiant that marriage will take the personality you have and magnifier. It's the testing ground. In a New Jersey newspaper, there was a little ad in the One Ad section that read thus.
Honey, please come home. The children miss you. The lawn hasn't been mowed in three weeks. And the garden needs a worm like you. And it was signed, Your Loving Wife.
Gretchen Well, I have a hunch that There were already some issues way before that ad came out. I have a hunch that he was already a passive husband and she was already a pistol. A long before That little blow-up happened. There were three guys that were talking together. They were in a pub and they were discussing.
Marriage and the kind of control that a husband has in his marriage and over his wife. And they were kind of boasting about how they have control over their wives. Actually, two were doing all the talking, one was just kind of watching and listening. Quiet. And so they finally turned to him and said, So, what's up with you?
Do you control your marriage? Do you have control over your wife? And he said to them, Well, you know, just the other night, she came crawling to me on her hands and knees. And they turned to him with wide-eyed wonder and said, Then what happened? To which he replied, Then she said, Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.
Okay, so whenever you talk about submission. It's not an easy thing to talk about. Them's fightin' words in some circles. Submission. The response I have found is all the way from a nervous laughter at best.
To Out and out scorn. At worst. You may have seen the article in the Washington Post this last week. That Spoke about the controversy that one of our own New Mexico state congressmen. has stirred up Over a book that he has written, he's a Christian, he cites the Bible.
And in citing the Bible, he simply wrote that in a marriage, A wise should voluntarily submit to her husband, Though not inferior to her husband, she should voluntarily submit to her husband. While her husband should lovingly lead and sacrifice for his wife. That's almost verbatim. Just saying that has stirred up so much controversy. How dare anyone use the S word?
Submit.
Well Peter has a few things to say about that. In 1 Peter chapter 3. That's where we find ourselves today. Let me bring you up to speed that Peter is dealing with four major areas of social interaction. Four areas of social interaction.
The society The workplace. The home family. And finally, the church. And in chapter three, he moves and focuses in on the smallest possible unit. in society.
And that is the home, the family. Verses one through six, he addresses wives. In verse seven, he addresses The husband But this isn't really a treatise about marriage as much as it's focusing on a particular kind of relationship. It's a marriage of an unequal yoke or an unequally yoked marriage.
Now, if you're not familiar with that term, that just sounded really weird to you. Unequally yoked marriage? What is that? Like you don't cook your eggs evenly, or what is that? An unequally yoked marriage is a term that is used.
By Paul the Apostle. When a believer is married to an unbeliever. They are married legally. They are married legitimately. But the believer is single spiritually.
The yoke. The bond, the spiritual bond, isn't together.
So the yoke is an unequal yoke.
Now, 2,000 years ago, this is how it would work. In ancient times, the wife was just. It was assumed that she would follow whatever religious inclinations her husband had. Whatever religion he followed, That's what she would do. She would never individuate.
She would never like choose a different religion. And so for There to be a relationship where you have a husband who is either worshiping another god, like a Roman god or a different system, and a wife who has become a Christian. In a society where Christianity was already labeled as subversive. And possibly upsetting to the culture. Big issues existed.
So, what is the Christian wife to do? She's in that relationship, it's volatile, her husband is not a believer. She is. There's pressure from the state, from the community, and from her husband. What should she do?
Should she just dump her unbelieving husband and go find the man of her dreams who's a Christian? There's some who would say that's what you do. And now she can go free at last, free at last. God Almighty, I'm free at last. No, Peter would say no, and Paul would say no.
As hard as it is to hear. There's something else to be done. Before we jump into the text, I want to read something to you, quote something to you by Zig Ziegler, who wrote this: I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person. I do know that many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I'll be the first to admit that it is possible that you did marry the wrong person.
However, If you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. Yeah. With that in mind, we're going to jump into our text, and I'm going to give you three marks. three marks of a tender hearted woman. Don't worry women.
We're going to get to men equal time next week. This is three marks of a tender-hearted woman, and the name of this message is the irresistible beauty of a tender heart. Three marks. Her actions. Her attitude.
Her admiration. Her actions speak louder than her words. Her attitude is her prettiest feature. And her admiration is more biblical. than conventional.
Yeah. We begin in verse 1 of chapter 3, where we ought to begin. Her actions speak louder than her words. Look what Peter writes: wives, likewise. Be submissive to your own husbands.
That even if some do not obey the word. They, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. When they observe Or watch. Or carefully scrutinize, it could be translated, your chaste conduct. Accompanied by Fear.
See, this is a case of treating the wrong person like the right person and discovering you may have married the right person after all, as the Lord uses that relationship to win the unbelieving spouse.
Now, again, let me take you back to the first century when this was written. The Greco-Roman culture gave women virtually no rights at all. Very, very different from today's world. An unmarried woman living at home lived under a Roman law known as patria potestas. The absolute authority of the Roman father over the child.
In fact, When I say absolute, I mean that Roman law gave the father the right, if he chose, to even execute his children. without any legal repercussions whatsoever. He owned those children. He has absolute right and authority over those children.
So, The daughter. Under that kind of a world. was under total control and domination by her dad. Then came the day for her marriage. When the dad entrusted that daughter into the hands of another man, a husband.
At that point, the husband. was the owner. of the wife. Like he owned many things, he now owned the wife.
Now I'm telling you all this because Some of you may have read ahead. And you're wondering by now, so how come Peter's words are like six times longer for the women? than they are for the dude. It's six verses to the chick. One verse to the husband.
What's up with that?
Well, now you know, because the position of being a wife in those days was much more complicated and much more difficult. And so If the husband converts to Christianity, the wife is going to follow to some degree. But if the wife decides she's going to follow Jesus There is going to be trouble.
So, six verses are devoted. You're listening to Connect with Skip Heitzig Weekend Edition. Your support helps reach people every day with biblical truth that speaks into real life, bringing clarity, strength, and lasting hope. And this month, we'd love to thank you with two resources designed to help you trust God in difficult seasons and move forward with confidence. When you give today, you'll receive the Expound Nehemiah Seven Message series with digital download, along with Pastor Skip's booklet, Overcoming an Anxious Mind.
These resources will help you see how God is at work even when life feels uncertain and how to experience His peace instead of anxiety as you follow Him. Your gift helps extend the reach of Connect with Skip Heitzig, connecting more people to God's Word. Request your resources when you give $50 or more at connectwithskip.com slash offer or by calling 800-922-1888.
Now, here's more from Pastor Skip. There's a couple of basic ground rules. Both are seen here. Both are fleshed out in other parts of the New Testament. Two basic things.
That Paul and Peter here would say to a believing wife married to an unbelieving husband. Number one, continuation. Stick with it. Don't leave him. Don't say because now he's an unbeliever now.
I'm a believer. I've converted, he has it.
Now I'm in an unequal yoke. I need to dump that guy and go find somebody else. No, what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7. Is that the unbelieving spouse is sanctified? Remember that text?
Sanctified by the believer. That is placed in a special set-apart position. For accessibility by God's Holy Spirit into the life of that person because of the influence of that believer. God has a unique access. to reach and save a person.
They're sanctified by the believer. Second, Submission. Continuation. And then second, submission. And that's his idea here.
Wives, likewise. Meaning, just like all of the other incidences of submission I've already written to you about, whether government or workplace or Jesus Christ to the Father's will, wives likewise be submissive to your own husbands.
Now please do not hear that word wrong. Submission does not infer some kind of moral inferiority or intellectual inferiority or spiritual inferiority. Just like the previous examples. If you have a government leader and you have a citizen and the citizen submits to the government leader, it doesn't make the government leader superior or a better person than the citizen. In fact, in many cases, the citizen is far superior to the government leader.
But you need to submit to keep order in that society. Or in the workplace, a master over a servant doesn't mean the master is any more. intellectually Better or superior or any other means loftier. But there needs to be order.
So submission. A Christian woman And a Christian man are equal. Galatians chapter 3. There is neither male nor female. We are all one in Christ.
So mark that, please, especially you men. Who love the text. Every time there's a Bible text that says, wives, submit, you got it underlined, highlighted in yellow, memorized in every verse. You know it in the Greek. Submission.
I love that Bible text. It doesn't mean you've joined the military now and you can make you mouthed off 20 push-ups right now. That's not the idea of submission. It does not imply superiority. of a male or inferiority of a female.
But rather, It's for functionality of the relationship. But we have a problem. The problem is, Peter is speaking to believers, telling them to submit to. An unbeliever.
Now, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Unbeliever, you want me to submit to the unbeliever? How can I submit my life to somebody who isn't submitted to Christ?
Well First of all, You know. You know this. That it doesn't mean that you can submit to him when he tells you to do something sinful and against God's will. We've already covered that. You know that.
So if your husband says, honey, let's get drunk. and knock off that bank. on the corner.
Okay, honey. I'm going to submit. You don't do that because it would be unsubmissive to the Lord's will.
So the idea of submit to a husband is to respond to him. To relinquish your rights that you might serve. His needs. John Piper offers this. The husband does not replace Christ as the woman's supreme authority.
She must never follow her husband's leadership into sin. But even where a Christian wife may have to stand with Christ against the sinful will of her husband. She can still have a spirit of submission. She can show by her attitude and behavior that she does not like resisting his will and that she longs for him to forsake his sin and lead in righteousness, so that her disposition to honor him as head can again produce Harmony.
Well said.
Now look at verse 1 again. Be submissive to your own husbands. That even if some do not obey the word, stop right there. What word? What what word is he talking about?
Some do not obey. This word. God's Word. In other words, if that guy is an unbeliever, he doesn't believe in scripture, he doesn't. Rest under God's authority.
He does not obey the word. He's an unbeliever. It continues to say: if some do not obey the word, they without a word. Stop right there. What word is that talking about?
Her word. Not the Bible's word. They don't obey the word.
So they can, without a word, he says, maybe won by the conduct of their wives.
Okay. This does not mean that a wife never has to say anything in terms of her testimony or the gospel. I used to hear this crazy saying years ago: preach the gospel. By all means, preach the gospel, and if necessary, use words.
Okay, it's always necessary to use words. And Peter isn't saying, don't speak, don't use your words. He already said in chapter 1, verse 23, that we are born again, not by incorruptible seed or by corruptible seed, but incorruptible seed, which is the word of God. God.
So When he writes this. To believing wives yoked to unbelieving husbands. He has in mind a wife who has already repeatedly shared the gospel with her husband. But the time comes when he has heard. it all.
And he needs something stronger. than just words. And that is a life. that he can see You know what it's like. It's human nature.
When you hear the same message repeated over and over again, After a while you turn off to it. Whether it's the Christmas story or the Easter story or Jesus died on a cross, we've heard it so many times. It just doesn't impact us the same.
Now, when you're young, when you're a kid, and your parents tell you the same speech over and over again, Do you remember what your reaction was? It was something like this. That was my reaction. My dad had like five or six of these little speeches he would pull out. I could always finish them for him.
I knew what he was going to say. And he'd pull it out, and he'd say, a job worth doing is worth doing well.
Now, when I was a kid, and I. I'm listening to this. And I am so not interested in this. Although everything I remember looking back that he said was so right and so good. And so helpful.
But I just heard it enough that I'm turning off to it.
So that's the idea. She has shared the word with him. The time has come where he needs more than just her words. I guess you could say Nagging your husband will not convert him. Badgering your husband into the kingdom of God.
arguing with him. will not be helpful. Any atmosphere of high-pressured Christianity is always not effective. And especially in the home. Have you ever tried to think of it from the vantage point of an unbelieving husband?
Let me help you. An unbelieving husband married to a Christian wife already feels threatened. Already feels threatened. Here's why. My wife Is in love with somebody else.
That I can't see. When we got married, we swore that nothing would come between us.
Now, something has come between us. She's in love with somebody. I don't even see.
Now, suddenly, I am demoted to number two. I'm not number one anymore. Jesus is number one. It's very offsetting.
So, the precarious balancing act of a wife trying to influence her husband. without alienating her husband. to keep the equilibrium in the relationship. goes on. And he's thinking she's always gone on Sundays.
She's got those weird Christian friends. She sings these songs I've never heard of before.
Now, let's make matters a little worse. Maybe he's married to the kind of Christian wife who's very, very zealous. and creative in her evangelism.
So when he comes home at night, she's got the television evangelist cranked up to 10. It just like infuriates him. But he needs to hear the truth. Or She decides to go into the garage at night and turn his car audio system to Christian radio. with super glue.
Or stuff tracks under his pillow or in his lunch box. Or set his Mobile device phone to John 316. Or perhaps when they have family meals, she wants to say, I'll pray. Let's bow our heads, and I wonder how many here would say yes to Jesus and raise their heads, and it's like turns it into an evangelistic event. And he's thinking, I didn't even know this woman.
She's like. A freak. Peter's Council. Be a good wife. Be a good wife.
what William Barclay called The silent preaching of a lovely life. Not a great description. The silent preaching of a lovely life. We're so glad you joined us today on Connect with Skip Heitzig. Before you go, here's a reminder.
When you give $50 or more this month, we'll send you the Expound Nehemiah 7 Message C D series with digital download, along with Pastor Skip's booklet, Overcoming an Anxious Mind, as our thanks. These resources offer biblical insight and encouragement to help you trust God in challenging seasons and experience his peace as you follow him. Your support helps keep this Bible teaching ministry on the air, connecting more people to God's word. Give today at connectwithskift.com slash offer or call 800-922-1888. We'll see you next time for more verse-by-verse teaching of God's Word here on Connect with Skip-Heitzig Weekend Edition.
Make a connection. Make a connection, let the food. Of the crossing. I cast your burning. Connect with Skip Heitzig is a presentation of connection communications, connecting you to God's never-changing truth in ever-changing times.
