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That's connectwithskip.com. Now, let's get started with today's message from Pastor Skip Heitzig. Then Hamor, the father of Shechem, went out to Jacob to speak with him.
So he takes the first, the initial, play. And the sons of Jacob came in from the field when they heard it, and the men were grieved and very angry. Why? Because someone's been in the kitchen with Dinah. Because he had done a disgraceful thing.
That's what it was. It was a disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter, a thing which ought not to be done. Now, notice something. In that last verse, the mention of Israel, not as a person. Jacob was named Jacob and then renamed Israel, right?
One who fights victoriously with God or Prince of God. But for the first time, and I always want to give to you the rule of first mention, the first time Israel is mentioned as a nation is here. And yet, they're not a nation yet.
They are only a nation in terms of a group of people forming together in a nascent state, embryonic state. And here, the term, though it refers to the nation of Israel, is referring to the people rather than the land, not the property of Israel, not the land of Israel, but the people of Israel, those who have a special covenant relationship with God because of God's relationship with Jacob. But it's a disgraceful thing and it will always be a disgraceful thing as far as the laws of Israel will be concerned.
A disgraceful thing in Israel by lying with Jacob's daughter, a thing which ought not to be done. Now, did you know that it was customary in those days for the entire family to get together and approve of any marriage? Usually, the dads would get together.
Hey, I have a son who is handsome, hardworking, you have a beautiful young daughter, let's sign a deal right now. Now the kids could be toddlers, so I don't know how hardworking a toddler would be, but the father would say, I have a son, you have a daughter, let's strike up a deal, a contract right now that promises them to be wed to each other. So before the kids really know each other or even know what marriage is, they're engaged, so to speak. Then it is approved by the entire family. It's a family affair, a family deal, a family contract, which isn't all that bad.
Now hear me out. Those in that family are eventually going to be your future in-laws, hopefully not outlaws. They're going to be part of your family or part of your future forever in some kind of a relationship. You want to make sure it's a good relationship now.
In fact, I would say if somebody in your family has constant doubts about that person that you say you want to marry, you should at least take heed and listen to them, especially if they have your best interests at heart. Take counsel, move solely, move wisely in the multitude of counselors there is safety. So the marriages were arranged. Here's an emergency situation. There's been a rape. The fathers get together. The sons come in.
There still has to be an approval process. I remember the first time I was in India. I was with Lenya. We were newly married, didn't have our son Nate, just been married a couple of years. And so we went over there doing ministry in India and they looked at this young couple and they said, well, you know, how long have you known each other?
How long have you been married? And we were telling them our story. And then they would tell us their stories that in their country it wasn't like our country where a young man dates a young woman and then asks her to marry her. They said, oh, there are still arranged marriages in our country. And I said, excuse me? He said, oh, yes.
I got married because her parents and my parents got together and they prayed about it before the Lord and they believed it was the Lord's will and we're married. I said, no, wait a minute. And I just thought that sounded so foreign to me.
It honestly sounded, well, unappealing, goofy, backwards. And as I started expressing my concern, one of them said, no, wait a minute, brother. And he said, I'll have you know that our divorce rate is minuscule compared to your divorce rate because, you see, we learn early on that it's commitment. We have already been committed by our parents to each other. We learned that commitment comes first, feelings come later.
You do it backwards. You base everything on how you feel and hope that you still feel good over time and hopefully learn a commitment as time goes on. We've already learned the commitment by the time we approach the marriage altar.
So I love the thought of an arranged marriage. That my heavenly father and your heavenly father, our father in heaven knows the right one that's for us. And so we wait on him. He's the one, not your earthly parents as much as your heavenly father. You wait and you pray and you make sure that's the one that heavenly father has for you. Verse eight.
Let's get on with the story. But Hamor spoke with them saying, the soul of my son Shechem longs for your daughter. Please give her to him as wife and make marriages plural with us. Give your daughters plural to us. Take our daughters to yourself.
He had a lot of sons. Now, I have to say that as far as Hamor and Shechem are concerned, they're honorable. You didn't have Shechem at home after this going, oh, I don't know what to do.
I just won't do anything. It wasn't a wimp. He stepped up to the plate, admitted what he had done, said, I love you. I'm going to take responsibility and gets his father involved.
And for pagans, you got to admit, this is a pretty honorable gesture, more so than what Jacob and the sons are about to be involved in. Do you remember back, some of you, to the elections, presidential elections in 1992 and 96 when a guy named Ross Perot was running for president? Remember Ross Perot?
An interesting character. And I didn't vote for him, but I was fascinated by him because I remember on one occasion he was talking about morality and he was very blunt. He said, now see, I want to say something to you young men. He said, if you get a young woman pregnant and you don't take responsibility for her, I want you to know you are the scum of the earth. And I thought, all right, I like that. It was not politically correct, but it was correct.
And here these two gentlemen are taking responsibility. However, just because a young man would get a girl pregnant, there's no indication that she was pregnant, but let's say there is a pregnancy. Just because there is a pregnancy does not necessitate that there must be a wedding that follows. Now it'd be nice if they're mature enough and they can make that commitment, but it could be that if they got married, the circumstances could be such that it would be detrimental for them and for the child, and sometimes the best option would be adoption. There's lots of families that would love to have children that can't, and adoption is a wonderful way of giving to a family that can't have children any other way or want more and could care for them in a loving manner to do so.
But they step up to the plate. In fact, the deal is let's make marriages. Daughters, sons, all of us living happily ever after, verse 10, so you shall dwell with us and the land shall be before you. Dwell and trade in it and acquire possessions for yourselves in it. In other words, settle down here with us.
Make yourself at home with us. Now I believe, and I want to jog your memory a little bit, I believe that this is one of Satan's first attempts to pollute the royal line. Do you know what I mean by that? Remember back in Genesis, chapter 3, verse 15, that promise that Satan the serpent would come and bruise the heel of the Messiah, but the Messiah would crush his head? And so God promised a lineage, and eventually someone would be born in that lineage that would be the Messiah, Christ, who would crush the domain of Satan. And ever since that promise, Satan has tried to contravene and counteract it by his own kind of defensive warfare and killing off anyone who could be the promised lion. So as soon as that promise was given, Cain kills his brother Abel. I believe induced by Satan to do so in an attempt to destroy the royal lineage. God raises up Seth as the royal line, but as that line grows and populates, the whole earth becomes corrupt until God has to judge because of his own character the entire world and everybody on earth is destroyed except for a people.
Except, and that's the exception clause, because the royal messianic seed is incorporated in that eight people, Noah and his family. That warfare goes on, and I believe we see a hint of it here. It's an attempt to say, hey look, don't be separated.
Come join us. We'll just marry our kids into each other's families, and we'll just live happily ever after. There'll be no difference. Is that a problem for a believer? Is that a problem?
Oh yes, it is a problem. There's a principle that's important to remember, not only here, but throughout the scripture and in our lives. Second Corinthians chapter six, Paul writes, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. You're listening to Connect with Skip Heitzig. Before we get back to Skip's teaching, the 1960s promised us an explosion of love and brotherhood, but instead they delivered a nation in turmoil, confusion, and moral decline. Fortunately, God has the solution for our damaged families, and in Beyond the Summer of Love, Relationships in the Real World, Pastor Skip Heitzig gives a biblical guide for marriage and families that can help restore relationships which have been damaged by sin. Beyond the Summer of Love is our thanks for your gift of at least $25 today to help share biblical teaching with more people around the world through Connect with Skip Heitzig. Go to connectwithskip.com slash offer or call 800-922-1888 and request your resources when you give $25 or more today to help reach people around the world with the good news of Jesus through Connect with Skip Heitzig.
Let's continue with today's teaching with Pastor Skip. Now he's using a farming analogy. A farmer who wants a plow pulled on his land would put animals in a yoke. He would at least have two animals, if not more. Well, he would never put two animals that aren't aligned or have the same temperament. He would find two animals that are alike, same size, same strength, same temperament to do the work. He'd never have a Clydesdale horse yoked to a miniature burrow. It wouldn't work. It actually, because it'd be off-kilter, he'd probably just be plowing in circles all day.
It'd be weird. So the farmer wants them to go in the same direction for the same length of time to do the same kind of work, so he picks equally yoked animals. Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Now, contextually, or in its context, when Paul wrote that, he was referring to the false teachers at Corinth that some of the true believers were getting yoked with, and he calls these false teachers, who even call themselves Christian ministers, he just calls them unbelievers.
Don't be yoked together with those unbelievers. So that's the principle context of it. However, there's a broader principle. That principle applies to a lot of areas of life. Whether you get married to an unbeliever or start a business venture with an unbeliever, you want to do that?
Okay. But know that there's going to be heartbreak and heartache. That unequal yoke won't allow you to follow the directions from the master. And if one person in the marriage is a true believer and the other is not a believer, you're not going to be pulling in the same direction.
In fact, you'll be pulling in opposite directions. I think it's very difficult. And so that's the principle and it's the principle that is violated here as well. Don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Here's another translation. Stop forming intimate and inconsistent relationships with unbelievers.
Here's another translation of that. Don't be mismated, mismated or mismatched with an unbeliever. Now that is why Paul takes that principle and does apply it to marriage later on. When he speaks in 1 Corinthians 7, he says if you're a believer and your husband or wife dies, you can go ahead and get remarried. But then he says only in the Lord.
Only in the Lord. Make sure they're in the Lord. That they love the Lord. That they're born again under the Lord.
That they serve the Lord. So you can go in the same direction. Because otherwise, what do you have in common? That's his whole point. What do you have in common with that unbeliever? Well, we both like rap music. Well, there's your problem.
Just kidding. Verse 11, now the young man speaks to Jacob and his boys. Watch this. The young man is going to talk to his potential father-in-law and his sons. Then Shechem said to her father and brothers, let me find favor in your eyes and whatever you say to me, I will give.
So he sounds honorable. Ask me ever so much, dowry. In Hebrew, mohar, dowry.
I'll explain that in a minute. Ask me ever so much, dowry and gift. Now this could be something different than the dowry, but a personal gift given to Dinah, the bride. And I will give according to what you say to me, but give me the young woman as wife. Okay, a dowry was a chunk of money given to the father of the bride. Remuneration.
The family of the groom would give to the father of the bride a chunk of money. Why? To buy her?
No. Had nothing to do with paying for her. But to compensate him for the loss of help. After all, having kids in those days, my father believed in this principle, kids were part of the workforce. You have kids at home, they work around the house, they do the chores, they do the work, they plow the fields in those days.
Male or female, they have their duties, and I've been in Bedouin communities to this day and watched young girls out there plowing the fields. So he's going to lose his daughter, he's going to lose help. So the dowry was to compensate dad for the lack of a hired hand, or actually a free hand. Now, he says, you name the price.
Why? Because in the case of premarital intercourse in ancient cultures, now this is before the law of Moses, in ancient cultures, if there was any premarital intercourse, a dowry had to be presented to legitimize the union, otherwise it wasn't legitimate. And the father of the bride could ask any price he wanted.
Any price he wanted. Later on, the law of Moses under the law in Exodus chapter 20 and on will be put into place. And according to Deuteronomy 22, there'll be a cap set on that because it could be abused. The cap will be 50 shekels.
So you name your price, up to 50 shekels. That'll be later on in the law. So rape, remuneration, now we have retaliation, it gets worse. But the sons of Jacob answered Shechem and Hamor, his father, and spoke, notice how, hmm, the boys spoke deceitfully because he had defiled Dinah their sister. Where did they learn to do deceitful things?
Hmm, right? Like father, like son. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree here.
The Hivites are negotiating in good faith, open and honest negotiations. Not the sons of Jacob. They dealt, it says, spoke deceitfully because he had defiled Dinah their sister. Now Jacob is going to reap what he has sown in terms of his deceit. And they said to him, we cannot do this thing to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised.
I'm sure when he heard that word he thought, uh-oh. For that would be a reproach to us. Now again, this is before the law of Moses, but circumcision was put into place in the patriarchal era, even under Abraham. So Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Other cultures, by the way, practice that, especially when there was a marriage union possible.
So it wasn't foreign to them, but it also wasn't appealing. Verse 15, but on this condition we will consent to you. If you will become as we are, if every male of you is circumcised, then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters to us, and we will dwell with you, and we will become one people. We'll become one. We'll be able to sing Kumbaya, swing back and forth, everything will be hunky-dory, we'll be one people.
But if you will not heed us, and be circumcised, then we will take our daughter and be gone. And their words, interesting, their words pleased Hamor and Shechem, Hamor's son. So the young man did not delay to do the thing because he delighted in Jacob's daughter. He was more honorable than all the household of his father. And Hamor and Shechem, his son, came to the gate of their city. Why the gate? Because that's where the elders of the city hang out. That's where the men who make all the decisions hang out. And spoke with the men of the city saying, now, these two guys have to sell this to the whole town. So put yourself in their sandals. Hey, listen, we all got to get circumcised. Who's going to go for that?
Some gals just ask your husband about that, and it's like, no, we're not going to happen. So they've got to sell the idea to the men of the city, so they begin with the elders. Now watch how they sell it. These men are at peace with us. Therefore, let them dwell in the land and trade in it.
Bring up the economy. For indeed, the land is large enough for them. Let's take their daughters to us as wives and let us give them as our daughters. Only on this condition will the men consent to dwell with us to be one people.
Every male among us, every male among us is circumcised as they are circumcised. Will not their livestock, their property, and every animal of theirs be ours? Only let us consent to them and they will dwell with us.
Okay, Hamor and Shechem haven't been totally honest with Jacob, have they? Go back just for a moment to verse 10 and notice what he says to Jacob. So you will dwell with us and the land shall be before you dwell and trade in it and acquire possessions for yourselves in it. This would be an economic benefit for you. You will be blessed and prospered materialistically if you do this thing. But when he has to sell it to his own, he says in verse 23, will not their livestock, their property, and every animal of theirs be ours? Only let us consent to them and they will dwell with us. So he has to sell it as an economic opportunity.
I know this is going to hurt, but it's all about the economy and if you do it, you'll get prospered. And I'm sure the elders looked at him like, I don't know about this. I don't think the guys are going to go for this.
This isn't a great idea. But they went along with it because as suggested, the Hivites saw this as an opportunity to absorb these people, Jacob and his sons, his family, his livestock, and he was quite wealthy, into their camp and it would prosper them. They would possess their wealth. And all who went out of the gate of the city heeded Hamor and Shechem his son.
Every male was circumcised who went out of the gate of the city. Thanks for listening to Connect with Skip Heitzig. We hope you've been strengthened in your walk with Jesus by today's program. Before we let you go, we want to remind you about this month's resources that will help you understand and follow God's plan for your relationships.
Beyond the Summer of Love, Relationships in the Real World by Pastor Skip Heitzig is our thanks for your support of Connect with Skip Heitzig today. Request your copy when you give $25 or more. Call 800-922-1888.
That's 800-922-1888. Or visit connectwithskip.com slash donate. And did you know that you can get a weekly devotional and other resources from Pastor Skip sent right to your email inbox? Simply visit connectwithskip.com and sign up for emails from Skip. Come back next time for more verse-by-verse teaching of God's Word here on Connect with Skip Heitzig. Connect with Skip Heitzig is a presentation of Connection Communications, connecting you to God's never-changing truth in ever-changing times.
