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David, how many bottles of water do you think you drink a day? Well, actually, I only drink Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew, Strawberry Yoo-Hoo, and the occasional Pepto Bismol. Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew? Do they even make that anymore?
Fun fact, no. I have to make my own with McDonald's Sprite, and you guessed it, Texas Pete. I am genuinely horrified to hear that.
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Where's my Mountain Dew? You're listening to Clearview Today with Dr. Abaddon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm John Galantis, and you can find us online at ClearviewTodayShow.com. Or if you have a question for Dr. Shah, anything you'd like to write in, suggest that we talk about here on the show, send us a text to 252-582-5028. You can also email us at contact at ClearviewTodayShow.com.
You guys can help us keep the conversation going by supporting the show. You can share it online with your friends and family. Leave us a good five-star review on iTunes or Spotify, anywhere you get your podcasting content from.
Absolutely nothing less than five stars for any reason conceivable. We're going to leave a couple of links right there in the description so you can do just that. Today's verse of the day is coming to us from Proverbs 7 and verse 2.
Check these out. These are Solomon's words. It says, Keep my commands and live, and my law is the apple of your eye. What Solomon's doing is he's connecting God's commandments to life. Jesus himself did that. He said, It's written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. He's writing to his son, and he's saying, Listen, son, if you want to live an abundant life, a significant life, then you have to obey these commands.
It seems almost too good to be true. If I just obey God's word, I'm never going to have any problems in life. Of course, that's not what Solomon's saying. Just like a doctor would tell you, Hey, listen, if you want to live a good, long, healthy life, you have to eat right. Yeah, that's true. But there's going to be problems in life.
Your health is going to decline. Also, with the Christian life, there's going to be struggles. There's going to be heartaches. This is not a guarantee. It's not an absolute guarantee. Again, it's from the book of Proverbs. It's a general truth about life, but it's not an absolute guarantee of a problem-free life. Here's what is your absolute guarantee. It's that sinners are going to receive eternal life if you respond in faith to what God's word says about Jesus Christ.
I'm going to say that one more time for all the people in the back. Sinners are going to receive eternal life if they respond in faith to what God's word says about Jesus. That's what Romans 10 says.
If you believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, and you confess that he is Lord, then you will be saved. That is 100% guaranteed. You can take that to the bank, as they say. That's today's verse of the day. We do want to remind you guys, today's episode is sponsored partially by the Date the Word app.
Every single day connects today's date with God's word, with the hope of making it more memorable for you. Day two, without my partner, I'm not going to lie, it's starting to get a little bit lonesome. I've always got Dr. Shah and Nicole here, but here in these intros, it's just me in the cold expanse of space in the Clearview Today studio. I'm sitting in David's seat.
It's kind of nice, keeping it warm for him while he's away. Ryan's away, David's away, Adam's away, Nicholas is away, Melissa's away. I'm here with Dr. Shah and Nicole and Katie.
Things are going good. I ate a shoe. We ran out of food, because I think David and Ryan took all the food with them. So, I did have to eat a little bit of the shoe.
It was kind of leathery. I will tell you this, and this is a life hack that I've learned, and this is completely departing. It is day two of just running the show here by myself in the beginning. Last night, I found out a parenting life hack. I don't want to say it's a life hack, because I think a lot of parents did this. My mom did it to us when I was a kid, and I promised that I would never do it to my kids.
It turns out that was what we call a radio lie, which is where you lie on the radio. I've started putting both kids to bed and punishing both kids for one infraction, which I know sounds crazy. It sounds like I'm not going to win any Parents of the Year awards, but hear me out. My one-year-old has been acting up. Now, he's getting to where it's like, I'm not quite two yet, but I'm just going to hit these terrible twos early.
So, he's been acting up, and it's been like my oldest son is starting to see, like, oh man, this kid is getting scolded and got onto all the time. If I just play it safe, if I just sit here quietly, I won't get in any trouble at all. They'll just let me do my thing. So, I was like, alright, that's it. Y'all are both going to bed. My oldest son, Gavo, was like, why me? I didn't do anything. I was like, I don't care. I don't feel like dealing with it.
You're both going to bed. I feel like that's something that every parent does and promises that they wouldn't do, but man, I'm telling you, it has made my life so much easier. It's made parenting easier. I don't have to think about disciplining two kids for two separate infractions. It's just like, one kid messes up, everybody's done. But, as parents, I'm curious to know, do you guys do that? Have you guys ever found yourselves to be in a place where it's like, alright, one kid's acting up and really giving me trouble? I'm putting everybody to bed. Especially you guys, because there's some people in our church who have like five to seven kids. So, how do you punish seven people for one infraction?
Can you even do that? We're going to ask Dr. Sean and Nicole in just a little bit when they come in, but if you guys have any questions or suggestions for new topics, things that we can talk about here on the show, make sure to text us at 252-582-5028, or you can always visit us online at thecleerviewtodayshow.com. We'll be right back after this. Hello, Clearview family. I'm Nicole.
And I'm David. And we want to talk to you today about the Clearview app. You know, there are so many churches out there that put their sermons on YouTube and their announcements on Facebook and their prayer list on Periscope.
I didn't even know Periscope was still functional. Oh, it's not. And that's why nobody can find their church's prayer list and nobody's prayers be getting answered. But here at Clearview, we believe in making our content as accessible as possible. That's right. Clearview produces so much content every single week, including Dr. Sean's sermons, original music, a full online store, weekly prayer gatherings, and so much more. Not to mention the number one best selling Christian talk show of all time.
I don't know if that's accurate. Well, maybe not yet, but that's why we want people to download the app. If you're listening from the Triangle area, we encourage you to check out Clearview Church in person. But if not, you can still follow all of our content on the Clearview app.
It's 100% free on the Apple Store and Google Play Store. And best of all, all of our content is right there in one convenient spot. Make sure you download the Clearview app today, and let's get back to the show. Welcome back to Clearview Today with Dr. Avidan Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can visit us online at ClearviewTodayShow.com, or if you have any questions, any topics that you want to suggest we talk about here on the show, send us a text, 252-582-5028.
You can also email us at contact at ClearviewTodayShow.com. We're here once again live in the Clearview Today studio with Dr. Avidan Shah, who is a PhD in New Testament textual criticism, alongside perma-guest Nicole Shaw. Good to see you, Nicole. Back again, Dr. Shah.
No, I didn't get anything. Oh, here you go, I got one for you, I got one for you. We are here alongside Dr. Nicole, Dr. Avidan Shah.
I thought that was Sean Shaw with the line, there we go. You're a superstar, my friend. Oh, yeah, I can see. Hang on, let me give you one.
We're just changing. Let me give you one more. Let me get a red shell. Can I have a blue shell? Yeah, there's your blue shell right there. There it is.
There's not one, not two, but three Mario sounds on here. Really? Yeah. What all do you have? I've got a Mario mushroom, I've got the star that we just did, I got the yahoo, I got one from Halo.
Yeah, there you go. That was my favorite of all time. Well, it's good to see you guys again. Same here. I talked about something in the intro that I promised as a parent I would never do, and I have started doing.
I talked to Dr. Shaw about it on Sunday night, you weren't there. I promised that I would never do this, and I broke my promise. And my parenting, I think, has gone to the next level. If one of my kids is acting up, they both go to bed.
They both go to bed. Yes, we have. Yes, we have.
You've done that? Uh-huh. So it got to a point where it was like Holden was so enraged, he just wasn't listening, he wasn't doing anything he was supposed to do, he's one, but still, he knows how to listen, he knows what no-no means. And I was like, you know what? Y'all are both going to bed. And Gavin was like, but not me, not me, though, I was like, yeah, both.
He was like, but I'm being good, he said I'm being still, I'm being quiet, I was like, I don't care. Oh, poor Gavin. And I put them both to bed, and I waited to feel guilty, and I didn't, I just never did. This actually works, and they both go to bed, and the next day they're fine. Yeah.
What's wrong with that? I was like, so then I asked Dr. Shallon Sunday, I was like, did you ever do it, because Holden was doing it again, like the later it got, he was like going downhill, and I could see Gavin like toeing the line, he was like, let me just sit here, let me just sit here and be quiet and hope that I go unnoticed. And I was like, both of y'all are going to bed when you get home. My problem was if they aggravated each other, so it's like even if like one was shouting, acting up, but you could have deescalated the situation, you could have found a way to help them, you could have gotten, she wants water, well give her the water.
He wants this, well okay, talk to him and help him, but since you didn't, all of y'all going to bed. How would you do it, Nicole, would you put them all, every single one? Oh yeah, I probably wouldn't be as methodical as that, I probably would just get really angry and just scream at them all, go to bed! Yeah, see, my parents, my parents would do that, if my sis, cause Caitlin, let me, we're going to be honest here, Caitlin, my sister was the one acting up. I would sit in my room, I'd play my games, I'd color, whatever, Caitlin's acting up, and she would come aggravate, like you were saying, she would aggravate me, and be like, Caitlin, get out of here, and she'd be like, if I hear one more crossword out of either of y'all!
That would be me! I didn't say anything, she was like, that's it, both to bed, both to bed, I was like, I didn't do wrong! That's amazing. Well, it's like the whole thing with your teacher, think about it, like when you were in school, and one kid did something wrong, guess what happened, the whole class got disciplined, it's not fair, but it's like that one kid messed up again, so the whole class didn't get recess. Yeah, that's true. Coaches use that, sometimes coaches, like if one athlete is messing up, or they're not performing like they should, or they're not taking it seriously, they'll say, you know what, the entire team, now, give me push-ups, and so what they'll do is they'll fuss at that guy and say, hey man, why, why, come on, let's do it! Yeah, that peer correction works. Even in the military.
When I, yeah, that's true, that's true. When I was in kindergarten or first grade, we had Pokemon cards, and the teachers were generally cool with Pokemon cards, because we didn't, you know, we weren't like, being rambunctious with them, we were just trading, playing at lunch. One kid got ripped off, I remember it, I'll never forget, I don't even know if I should say his name, I'm not gonna say his name, but he got ripped off, and he went home and told his mom, and his mom was one of those moms, and you know what I mean, she is coming, she came, she saw, and she conquered, and they came in and said, hey guys, no more Pokemon cards, and everybody for, I would say at least two or three school years, everybody could not stand that kid, that kid, the mom messed it up for everybody, mom, you could have just stayed out of it, and said, son, go out there, be a man, get your card back, tell the kid, but nope, she came up there, she caused a big scene, no more Pokemon cards in school. I think the old way of being the parent, like, I remember this one kid, he was my next door neighbor, and he used to aggravate me to death, and I ran inside, and I was probably five years old, and mom, he's trying to run over me with his big wheel, or whatever, and she was like, well Nicole, go out there and punch him in the face, and so I went out there, and I did it, I punched him, and the next day he showed up at my door with a black eye, and my mom was like, what happened to you? Oh, I thought this was your brother.
No, this was my next door neighbor. I had, when you guys were, when I first started coming here, and well, the Hills first started coming here, Noah and Hartley, they're twins, they're eleven now, but they could have been like four or five, they were young, right? Your daughter, Abigail, was outside watching them with me, and Hartley, no, Noah came up to me and was like, Hartley just hit me, and I didn't know what to do, I was like, I don't know, hit him back, and Abigail was like, don't tell him that, he's going to do that, and so he was like, oh, oh, and so he went over, and I remember Abigail having to go over and keep Noah from it, because she'd been dealing with kids, I had no, before coming here, I had no experience, I was like, I don't know, what do you want me to do, hit her back? Abigail scolded me for that, but it's kind of like that in marriage too, like a lot of the reasons that people get anxious or want to hesitate getting married is because like, what you do is going to affect me, you run up my credit or you go out there and you do that stuff, it's going to affect the rest of my life, and I think one thing we talked about yesterday was God's will and God's design for our marriage, and kind of going into this new idea that he's not the only one who has a goal for your marriage, and we don't want to face that.
Yeah, and Satan also has a goal. So, our purpose has been in the past two shows, last one and this one, is to help remove certain notions or preconceived ideas that people have developed about marriage or about relationships, and we're trying to help people understand God's perspective, he wants you to have a relationship that will lead to a marriage, that reflects his image, that gives you the companionship that you need in life, and also for a Christian to reflect that Christ Church mystery. Again, as we said last show, this does not mean that everybody went out there looking for a date, even us, and said, does this reflect God's image?
I don't know. We didn't do that, but I hope this discussion will help you see that finding the relationship in a different light. Imagine being on the first date and you're like, hey, you're the guy, and you're like, do you want to just split the bill? And the girl's like, why would we do that? And it's like, well, I just really feel like this is going to reflect the great mystery between Christ and the church.
You know, it's like that. She'd be like, see ya, you're weird. Even if she's a Christian, she'll be like, I think you're weird.
Yeah, I think you might've been homeschooled. Okay. Yeah. She'd be like, you're weird. You're a weirdo. Like what, what in the world?
Imagine also being on a date and the guy was like, you know, I really believe that it's God's will that you be my wife, like on the first date. People have done that. I guess. Did they do that? That's kind of weird though, right? I bet.
That's odd. Wasn't it Ian Thomas who did that? I don't remember. Oh, you know, he, I think he, he went up to the, the woman who ended up being his wife. I mean, I think he met her the very first time and he goes, he said something like, I'm going to marry you or something like that. So but I can keep in mind that that's like back in the forties.
Yeah. That was romantic. People thought like they'll like grandparents would tell it like when I went to the sock hop social and another boy tried to dance with me, why your grandfather sucked him right on the jaw. It's like, you try that.
You suck a guy on the job. That and the girl will never speak to you again. That's like terrifying. So yeah, that can happen. But at the same time, don't try that anymore.
Don't, don't try to walk over to somebody and say, Hey, I want to marry you. That's a good way of not having a relationship with that person. Michael Hosea tried that. Your friend, Michael Hosea, he tried that and it didn't work out too good for him.
Shout out to Francine Rivers. Yeah, but you're talking, you're, you're actually talking about a fictional character, but who was based loosely, not loosely on the book of Hosea, but I bet the prophet Hosea did it a lot wiser than that. I mean, how can you, how can you do it wisely when God has told you to go and marry a prostitute? I don't know. Yeah, that's, that's a new one on me. I haven't pondered that, but Dr. Shaw, we want to talk a little bit about this design for marriage and some of the, some of the pitfalls that, that come along with it when, you know, we kind of play into Satan's design and I'm hoping we're removing some of these lies from the enemy and they're coming from the culture.
The information that we gathered was from the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture and they listed six things that are sort of the reasons why marriages fail. First one is addiction. So if you are that young person, if you are that single person who's looking for relationships, addiction should be a no-no. Oh yeah.
Yeah. There's a lot of, there's a lot of data on that. You need to make sure, I mean, you need to make sure that the person that you're dating, you know, do they have any addictions in their lives?
I mean, it can be so many different things. It's not just alcohol. But do you know that according to the study, this Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture, 23% of divorces were due to alcohol and drug abuse. And so marriage is tough. As you know, addiction is a big issue and sometimes people will say, well, once we're married, it all changed. It doesn't happen. In fact, things do get worse. Have you heard people say that, Nicole? Like they hope, they think marriage is the cure?
Well, most women and girls, I mean, if you talk to them, they'll say, well, he'll change after we get married. That is finances. Or we're kind of going backwards here.
Six, five, four, three, two, one. So like less severe to the, the least severe to the most severe. Right. So finances, according to this report, 24% of the divorces were due to financial problems, bad spending habits. And so divorces happen.
And of course, life is tough as it is with kids and health and accidents. But then when you add to this getting into debt to satisfy some need in your life or trying to keep up with the Joneses, then things get really bad. So if you're looking for companionship, make sure finances doesn't mean that person has to be top notch and be like investing in wall street and making billions before you can say, hell yeah, that's the one for me. Maybe, but not necessarily, but at least be a person who does not just throw money away.
That's true. And you need to remember too, that, you know, that old saying that says opposites attract, it is true. So most likely if you're a saver, you're going to marry a spender. If you're a spender, you'll marry a saver. That's true in our marriage, yeah.
That right there is going to cause some sparks. And so you're going to have to talk about those things and figure out where are you going to compromise? Yeah. It's tough because, you know, addiction can be avoided, but everything costs money. You know, it costs money to live.
It costs money just to get up and breathe the air. And so then you got to think like you start planning out the life you want. You want children and you want a home and you want cars and pets and all these things. And when they break down and when kids get sick, that money comes in and then you're butting heads over things that you're both, it's weird because you're both moving in the same, you want the same things. So why is the financial things causing so much issue? I don't know. It's, there's something with money that really is, it's one of those base needs and you, and you touch somebody's pocketbook or their wallet and boy, you know, you can really find, you really find out what that person is made of.
I mean, think about it. If Ellie tells you, we don't have the money for you to spend on such a, you're just like, wait a minute, wait a minute. You know, I'm the one that is the breadwinner here. I'm not, you know, so, and so you begin to just really bow up because money is really one of those touchy subjects. And so learn to budget, learn to live within your means, um, eliminate debt as much as possible. And I know in the world in which we live, you may not be able to eliminate all the debt, school debt or house or car or whatever, but at least begin to work towards that. That's the mindset that you need to have and look for people to date who will also have similar mindset, right?
Uh, tithe, I would say be tithing and whoever you choose, they should also be tithing. You know, this is an important thing. You know, that's right. Another thing that I guess number four now going backwards, emotional abuse. According to the study, 29% of the divorces were due to emotional abuse. I'm not talking about physical violence, uh, but emotional abuse. And sometimes it comes from the way you were raised or parents said things to you or said things to each other. It may come from past resentments and couples say things to each other and it's just not good. So when you're entering into this dating relationship, you may have this idea that I don't want to get into a situation where somebody is going to talk bad to me or be hateful to me.
Well, just know, work on yourself, but also look for a person who may not do that. That's right. Yeah.
Yeah. Because that's important. And then next is spouses immaturity. According to this research, 30% of the divorces are due to spouses immaturity. Emotionally immature people are those who do not know how to handle anger or fear or grief or jealousy, insecurity, disappointment, resentment. They have trouble handling life's challenges. And so work on the immature parts in your life, but also the person you're looking for should be not, I'm not saying completely, um, um, emotionally adjusted person because none of us are, we all have our bad days or we all carry some, some bad habit or a bad mindset for years before God truly sets us free when we truly submit to him. And I think this is one of the hardest ones to confront because like if you're an abuser or if you're addicted or you know, if you're bad with money, you can pretty much see that in yourself.
You may deny it, but you can see it. Someone who's immature, like I don't know anyone who's like, Hey, right now I'm immature. Like you're always as mature as you currently are. If that makes sense.
Like I can't think of a single person. If you asked them, are you immature? They might be like, Oh, I got an immature sense of humor.
But ultimately people think, yeah, you know, I'm, I'm where I need to be. And that's, that's a tough one to confront. And they do many things, negative emotions or trying to control people or blaming people for their problems or pouting or whining or crying or manipulating others. These are all part of the emotional abuses. That's right.
And they need to be worked on. That's right. But here comes number two, which is? Incompatibility. That's number two? That's number two. Wow. These are reasons given for divorces. I would not have removed those out of the way. Wow.
Those hurdles. Well, if you think about it, when you think about the divorce and the reasons for divorces, they, they will say irreconcilable differences. But I could see that. I can, I could totally see that in dating, but in male, like to get all the way to marriage and then realize we don't work. Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's crazy. Why, why, if you looked at all the divorce cases and you, that's what I'm saying. Like I can't, I mean, you being a, I mean, you're, you're a counselor, you counsel married people all the time. Both of you guys do incompatible.
I think we got married for the wrong reasons. And I'm sitting there going, which I've been together 10 years, but I think, and they both agree. You're saying on the side of the line. Oh yeah. You're good. Sorry.
You're good. They'll say, well, you know, yeah, but we, we just got married for the wrong reasons and both will agree. And I'm like, well, how do you want me to help you? If divorce is not on the table, like, what is it exactly you want me to do? I can't change. Do you want me to change two different people to make them compatible or take it back in time and restart this thing? That's insane.
So marriage is not about compatibility, but it's about your commitment to each other. That's true. I'm, I'm floored. I'm, I'm, I'm legitimately floored that that was number two. I did not think that. I mean, that, that's what, that's what it means.
And then guess what the last one is or the first one is the biggest reason for divorce. Yes. Adultery. Yeah. Yeah.
I could see that. 37%. Think about that for a moment. That's, that's a lot. That's, that's approaching half. That's approaching half of all marriages ended because of the, because of adultery. Our encouragement to people is when you're looking for that marriage partner, whether you're in your twenties or thirties or forties or even fifties, if you're like at that stage, like, Hey, I'm, I feel like God has someone for me.
Make sure that you are a person of commitment and promise. Yeah. That's true. Don't yeah. Don't give in. Don't, don't give into your lust.
Don't have that wandering eye. It is so evil. Sin is so real. The flesh is so powerful. Satan is so cunning that he convinces you that that that thing that's forbidden, it's good. It's good. Just you don't have to go all the way in y'all's experience.
Counseling couples and counseling married couples. Does 37% seem accurate? Oh yeah. Really? I would say so.
It does. And I would definitely say, you know, God created men and women differently in this aspect where men are visual creatures. So you know, they can see someone who is very beautiful or, you know, and that's a temptation. But for women, it's not necessarily what that person looked like. It looks like it's what is what they hear, what that person tells them. Women are creatures of the ear. So if, if you are having issues in your marriage and there's someone that has come alongside you, whether it be at work or somewhere, and they are talking to you and they're telling you, Oh, I understand. And this is a person of the opposite sex. That is a big red flag. So when a, when a single person is hearing that no matter what your age is, it seems very discouraging.
It's like, wow, the odds are stacked. Let me now completely turn the tables here because that's not the case. We're simply removing some of the lies that the enemy has used or some of the things that have happened in marriages that didn't need to happen.
These six things don't need to happen if things are taken care of. So the purpose of the show is not to say, ah, give up. It's just the opposite.
It's to remove the obstacles and replace them with God's plan for marriage. And here's something very interesting. According to research, then this is coming from the Booth School of Business.
This research came out several years ago. The happiest people in the world are actually married people. Amen to that. You needed some drum roll right there. Oh, do it again. Do it again. The best people in the world are married people.
And the lead is by 30 points. Wow. Really?
That's significant. And Nicole tuned me on to Shanti Felden, who's a Harvard educator, social researcher. She's written some great, great books and she wrote one called The Good News About Marriage.
And contrary to the common misconception, what do we find about marriage? What is the percentage? According to Shanti Felden, people say half the marriage is end in divorce. Is that really true?
Nope. I've heard that. I've heard that all my life. So have I, but it's actually only around 33%.
Wow. That's encouraging. It's an encouraging truth because I think, and we can kind of discuss this a little bit more tomorrow as we go through this series on how to find God's will for your life and how to discern it.
But I think the more that we think about our marriages and the more that we think about being intentional with our marriages going forward and finding God's will for it, the more God's going to reveal it to us. You can write in and let us know anything that you'd like to hear, Dr. Shah and maybe Nicole, if you come back and visit us again. Anything that we'd like to talk about, you can text us at 252-582-5028 or you can visit us online at ClearviewTodayShow.com. While you're there, make sure you do stop by. There's a big donate button so that you can support us financially. Every single dollar you give goes straight to this show and helping and making it accessible for you and people all over the country who are listening to it. Dr. Shah, thank you. Nicole, thank you. We'll see you guys tomorrow. We love you and we'll see you on Clearview Today.
