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Argue with Facts, Reconcile with Emotions

Clearview Today / Abidan Shah
The Truth Network Radio
June 19, 2024 10:00 am

Argue with Facts, Reconcile with Emotions

Clearview Today / Abidan Shah

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June 19, 2024 10:00 am

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In this episode of Clearview Today, Dr. Shah talks about how emotions and facts are supposed to be used in our relationships.

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Where's my Mountain Dew? You're listening to Clear View Today with Dr. Abaddon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm Ryan Hill. I'm John Galantis. You can find us online at If you have any questions for Dr. Shah or suggestions for new topics, send us a text to 252-582-5028, or you can email us at contact at

That's right. You can help us keep the conversation going by supporting the show. You can share it online with your friends and family. Leave us a good five-star review on iTunes or Spotify, anywhere you get your podcasting content from.

We're going to leave a couple of links right there in the description, so you can do just that. The verse of the day today is coming from 1 Corinthians, chapter 6, verse 19, or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? That's why I be in the gym every day.

That's why I be just getting swole, just be lifting with my slingshot, too, just like this right here. No, you don't. Yeah! Hold on one second. Let me get one more rep.

But you're not. Yeah! In the gym every day.

Oh, I got a solid two reps on that, but it was 350 pounds. That's how you know. Golly. You know, your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. We hear that, and we take it in, and then we push it right out of our head. Yeah.

Right? And that's one of the things that I've been trying to work on myself, particularly how I eat. I can tell you this. I don't eat like my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

That's convicting, and nobody wants to talk about it, but it's the truth, man. When you look in the mirror, and when you really take account of how you use your body on this earth, a lot of us come up short. And that goes for physical fitness. That goes for what you eat, your diet.

That goes for how you treat your body. That goes for, you know, this is related to sexual sin. That's a sin against and within the body. You're not going to go to church. Hopefully you won't go to church and just graffiti all over the walls, but you treat the temple of the Holy Spirit in a way that grieves the Holy Spirit. You have the presence of God alongside you as you're engaging in all of these different sins. So just kind of reframing the way you think about your body and thinking about the gift of the physical body that God has given you will help guard you against some temptation, guard you against some sins.

That's true. And we want to make all of these verses that you guys get readily available for you. You can get them for free every single day on your iPhone or Android with the Date the Word app. I was going to say potentially sponsoring. They are partially sponsoring today's show.

Every single day connects today's date with God's Word with the hope of making it more memorable for you. Oh, Ryan. Yes. We're back from Wyoming. We're back.

We've been back for a little while, and this happened. Something happened on the plane ride there that I was kind of bouncing back and forth to whether or not to tell, and I think you know where I'm going with this. On the plane ride there? The flight attendant. Oh, yeah.

The flight attendant. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. So, this is a little segment of our show that we like to call... Did I, Dave? Did I, Dave? This is the segment of our show.

Oh, actually, hit them one time, Dave. It's a rare condition this day and age to read any good news on the newspaper page. Okay, so this is the segment of our show where we talk about something embarrassing that has happened to us or something that we did that was kind of cringe-worthy or embarrassing. This isn't something that I did. This is like second-hand embarrassment. This was like watching a tragedy just unfold. We landed in Denver. We were going to Cody, Wyoming. The plane that we took there was tiny.

Itsy bitsy. It was like... across the airwaves. It was like what Hot Wheels is to a car. This was this plane to a regular plane. This old guy, older guy, I'll say, comes back there. He goes into the bathroom.

Nothing odd about that at all. Flight attendant comes by maybe seven minutes later. There is one flight attendant on this flight, by the way. That gives you perspective on how small this plane is. There's one flight attendant.

One. She comes back, and she starts trying to open up the bathroom door. I don't know why, but she's like... I was like, oh, ma'am, someone's in there. She goes, oh, that's not possible. I was like, oh, someone is in there. She was like, no, I don't think so because the seatbelt sign has been on, so the bathroom should not be accessible at this time. I was like, that's twice I've told her. I was like, okay, I saw a guy walk in there.

She was like, no, no, I don't think so. I go, okay, yeah, go for it. She was pulling on the door, and I can tell that he's holding it from the other side trying to keep it. She just pulls it open, and the guy's just sitting on the toilet. Because that's what you do in the bathroom.

He's in the bathroom. She shuts the door, and she looks at me. She's like, oh, my, oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness. And I was like, you were sitting right in front of me, right? I was. I was there for the whole thing. I was like, did you think I was lying to you? I was like, did you think I was lying to you?

I told you. I told you he went in there, and she was like, oh, my goodness, no, that shouldn't have happened. That shouldn't have happened.

I was like, yeah, no, I agree. For those of you who have never flown before, the seatbelt sign comes on. There's turbulence. You're not supposed to get up out of your seats, move around. It's just safer for you to stay in your seats. However, that does not auto-lock the bathroom door. I was like, when a passenger tells you three times, there's a man in the bathroom, why would you argue?

Also, what motive do you have to lie? Yeah, I was like, what do I gain from this? It would be funny if I was like, hey, there's no one in there.

Go ahead. There's nothing funny. I gain nothing by being like, hey, the bathroom's actually empty, but I'm going to tell her someone's in there. We're sitting in the back of the plane. I'm in front of John. John's sitting behind me, and then Ellie, John's wife, is over across the aisle from us. The three of us look at each other like, did that really just happen?

Is this real life? Then she looks at me. She was a young woman. She was like, got to be in her 20s or something. She was like, oh, oh my goodness.

She had to ask. That was insane. That was crazy. That was really crazy.

Write down and give us your craziest plane story. You know what happened? The guy made friends with Dr. Shah.

He did. Yeah, we landed, and then they took up a conversation. Actually, before we landed, he was talking to us after the whole bathroom incident. Made his way through the aisle and was making friends with us.

Well, everybody's seen me on the toilet. I guess I'll just kind of hang out with you guys now. And then we were hanging out in the airport, which the Cody Airport is a very small airport anyway.

But they were hanging out, talking, exchanging contact information. It's crazy. I'm going to ask Dr. Shah about him when he comes in.

Yeah. Write in and give us your crazy in-air stories, 252-582-5028, or you can visit us online at We'll be back after this. Hey, what's going on, listeners? My name is John.

And I'm Ellie. And we just want to take a second and let you know about Dr. Shah's new book on the market right now called, Can We Recover the Original Text of the New Testament? Boy, that is a long title. True, but it's a very simple message. The original text of the New Testament is not only attainable, but there are lots of different ways that scholars go about discovering it. There's a lot of people out there saying that the original text is lost forever or that it's hopeless to actually try to find it, or that there's many texts of the New Testament. But alongside Dr. David Allen Black, Dr. Shah has actually compiled papers from some of the world's leading experts in textual criticism, including one written by himself on various methodologies for extracting the original text. And listen, if you're interested in textual criticism, this book is a great introduction to the field. You can pick up your copy on Amazon, or you can buy it from our church website. That's We're going to leave a link in the description box so you can get your copy today. Love that. Ellie, let's hop back in.

Let's do it. Welcome back to Clear View Today with Dr. Abbadon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can visit us online at, or if you have any questions or suggestions for new topics, send us a text at 252-582-5028. That's right. We're here once again in the Clear View Today studio with Dr. Abbadon Shah, who is a PhD in New Testament textual criticism, along with permagest Nicole Shah, back once again.

Glad to have you here, Nicole. We were telling the audience, the listeners, before the break about a little incident, a little uh-oh that we had 30,000 feet in the air. I think you remember what I'm talking about. You were two rows ahead of us. This is from our staff retreat a couple of weeks ago. And even if you were at the very front of the plane, you still would have been close enough for this stuff.

Yeah. It was only 13 rows. It was roughly about that big. It was about the size of a micro-machine.

For those of you who are watching, it is teeny times. It's what I like to call a puddle jumper. Yeah, it's a puddle jumper.

100%. That's something Indiana Jones would take across the lake. So the guy, he's in the facilities. The woman tries to get in.

I mean, beating the door down and I'm like, excuse me, man. And she was an air hostess, flight attendant. And she wasn't listening. And so she walked on in, exposed him for the entire plane. Okay, all that happens. What I found odd was he comes out and then he sees Dr. Shaw and he's like, I'm just going to start making friends here. He comes out and he's like, okay.

I'm going to be your friend. He's like, that was kind of humiliating. All right, what's going on here? What's the deal? What's everybody's deal? He's asking me questions, asking Dr. Shaw questions.

And I was kind of hoping it would be a thing where it was like, all right, yeah, we'll answer your questions and then hopefully you'll see that I'm not really engaged. You'll go sit down. And then Ellie, my wife is like, that's Dr. Shaw right there. That's our pastor. There he is. He's two rows in front of us. It starts when he walks out and he sees Ellie's shirt.

She's wearing one of her AV shirts. That's how it began. Yeah. It had making Christ visible on it. He was like, oh, making Christ visible and audible. I like that. And he just stood in the aisle and talked to you for like, what, 20 minutes?

Yeah. Until the same flight attendant who was a little ticked with him told him, you need to be pleased to have a seat. The fasten seatbelt sign is on.

I do want to, he's like, oh, I know. I'm just, I just making some new friends after you. Sir, the fasten seatbelt sign is on. You exposed me to an entire plane, so I was like, Sir, the fasten seatbelt sign is on. Sir, I'm talking to my new friends. He goes and sits down. And then the plane, I don't know if y'all remember, but like the plane goes to land and they're like, oh, we can't land. So they go back up and then the same guy's like, we want answers.

Yes. Oh, he was upset. I did want to be that person.

I actually did want to be that person. I was like, I am not, I've never really been afraid on a flight until I was really, I wasn't afraid yet, but I was very concerned. It was interesting. It was an unfortunate ride for him. Even after that whole thing happened, like he was, I think a genuinely nice guy, but I was so rattled and sick because I got sick on the plane and then I got sick in the airport. And so, but then I came out and saw him talking to you. I was so annoyed.

I feel like he was a nice guy, but I was like, oh my goodness. He's called his lawyer. He called his lawyer.

Over the plane landing? Yeah. So, so not only him, but also the guy who came to pick him up and he and his wife who came to pick this guy that we were talking about. He said, yeah, yeah. You have, and I didn't understand a thing they were talking about is like, you have to land in the wind or something like that. They were talking about that. He said he did it all wrong. So I don't know who that is or where he got his pilot's license.

That should not have happened. Yeah. When he got out of that airport, he was like, bruh. I will say, now this is not from a like a source that would know for sure, but an expert, but I have been told that the pilots that do those quick flights, they're beginners. Yeah.

They try to land like, um, not parallel with the wind, but like into it or something like that. So we must have had a beginner. I guess at the end of the day, like if you're, if you're exposed on an airplane toilet, you are reprimanded by the air hostess who exposed you. You have to go and sit.

Probably younger than your children. Yeah. Then you have to go and sit in the seat.

They, the airplane tries to land and then doesn't land. You end up missing your connection or whatever. You're going to have a lot of emotions.

You are. And sometimes you're going to lead with those emotions. You're going to react in those emotions. And that usually does not end up going well for anybody. That's what people want to know, Dr. Shaw. Is that wise? It's not wise. It's not wise. Thank you for watching the Clearview Today show.

Is definitely not wise. That's what we're going to talk about today. You know, emotions are something that we all have.

We talked about them on the show before, but how do we utilize emotion correctly in its God-given capacity? So in light of that, Dr. Shaw, what's our daily encouragement for today? I would say fight with your, uh, with, with facts, not with your heart. Okay.

Reconcile with, um, with your emotions, not with facts. Any crazy how often, that's pretty good by the way. You should trademark that. Let me go ahead and just mention that that is trademarked right now in the office right now.

We need t-shirts out there. It's crazy how often, it's crazy how often people will fight with emotions because they're so hyped up and they're so furious or they're so passionate that they know that they're right. And then they're like, all right, now that we've calmed down, let's apply reason to this and record.

Yeah. Like what is going on? And then it started and then it, nothing makes sense because everything is blown out of proportion and has been, uh, you know, there's so many layers and of things have been said or you're so many branches and sub branches over here that you're arguing about that that happened because your emotions were, were out of control.

It was not because of irrational thinking. Um, well I would also say too though, when you look at men and women, husbands and wives, if I were to ask this table now, I am, I am in the minority here. Who is more emotional, the husband or the wife? It's a trap.

No, but I need one. So when you talk about when people are fighting with their emotions, pretty much, now I'm not to say that men can't, you know, I believe that once things get heated, then I believe even men's emotions can get carried away. But a woman, a lot of times, and I can even, I speak for myself when I said a lot of times, which is not good, I, I'm very emotional, you know, and if I, a lot of times I've been on will tell me and I know it's truth that I wear my emotions on my face. So however I'm feeling, you can see it. And I don't know if it's necessarily because I'm a woman or women are more emotional.

I don't know. That caricature is there of, you know, women who are like emotional and weepy and very, you know, prone to crying. But then you have men on the other side who are prone to emotions, just it's a little bit more explosive. There's a temper tantrum, that kind of angry outburst and you know, slamming doors. That happens a lot with men.

Yeah. Men are not the robots that we pretend to be. You know, we, we want it to look, we want to look cool and stoic and in completely in control. So we're just emotionless. And we only think with reason but damage his pride and see how emotional he becomes. And I'll tell you, and it may not, it may not be explosive. He may withdraw.

He may go off and do something stupid that he regrets and can't take back. But, but you damage a man's pride and see how emotional he becomes. And I think that's, that's something that as the older I've gotten, the more I've seen, I, I'm, I used to fear my emotions. You know what I mean? I remember people telling me like, if you're fighting for something or if you're trying to convince someone and you bring emotions into it, you've instantly lost. And because there's something to be avoided. And I used to, I used to try to get rid of them because I feared what they meant.

You know what I mean? Like that I was weak or that I was not rational. And luckily over the years God has shown me otherwise. Well, I truly believe that, you know, especially if it comes to anger, which is one of our emotions. I read a quote one time and it was by, I believe it was by Elizabeth Elliot and she said, um, if you don't know, if you're wondering if you disrespected your husband, check for anger and if he's angry because maybe you've said something or maybe you've because, and then I've also, as I've been studying for my masters, I've been, I've been studying a lot and they said that when you were angry, it's because a need has not been met.

That's a good point. And you think about that and I'm like, when are the times that I get angry? And if you're really honest with yourself, it's because I didn't get my way. Um, I didn't, um, you know, or he, he didn't tell me that I was, you know, something, whatever it was that I felt like I needed when you're angry, maybe think, you know, what is it that I feel like or I felt like I needed? Yeah.

Yeah. What perceived need did I have that had not been met? But if the emotions are running high, it's very hard for people to stop and think in those moments, stop and think.

But if they can, what a big difference it would make in arguments, stop and think, what are you really fighting about? What are you really upset about? What did really happen? Like it was a need unmet. Was it a pride that was hurt?

What really happened? There's a lot of times where I'll be like Ellie and I will be talking and as long as I feel like I'm controlling this conversation, I'm in control of what's being said. I'm cool as a cool as a cucumber. But I mean, even like among like other people, if I start to feel like I'm losing control of this, I do feel myself starting to get agitated and I'll start to keep talking and rambling and saying things that don't make sense and my arguments don't make sense. And it comes to that place where it's like, why do I feel like I need to control this conversation? Do I think that makes me a leader because I'm so in control of how this conversation goes?

Is that what makes me a leader? And that's something that I still wrestle with and I don't have a clean answer to. You know what I mean? I think one of the things that's been most helpful for me is something that I've heard the two of you say when you've been given messages on marriage. So I want to talk about it in a marriage context is that I'm looking at my spouse and oftentimes that's where the argument is coming. Like we're disagreeing on something or she said something or done something that upset me or vice versa. And I look at my spouse and I go, this person is not my enemy. This is not my enemy.

This is my teammate. But I've also kind of extended that into other relationships. Like if I have a disagreement with a friend or another family member, is this person my enemy? Conceivably, is this person against me?

And if not, I need to check and see what's going on in my heart as to why I'm responding in anger or frustration or maybe even fear. I even think about your work as a text critic where you have to look at something objectively and the emotional maturity that it takes to say, hey, listen, this guy believes the exact opposite of me. But a lot of those points are good. And even though I don't want to admit it, I think he's wrong on the whole. But a lot of those points are correct.

They're very true because I wouldn't do that. I would look for any reason why that guy's not credible. And that's part of being a scholar. And I've seen that lately. Even some who at one time were good scholars and they have degrees, Ph.D.s coming from reputable universities. And yet they're doing that very thing. They're no longer being rational, thinking through. What they're doing is they're mocking the other person or they're finding some some inconsistency here and there. And then they're just throwing it at them instead of point by point saying this is right and this is right. This may not be right or this is not the right conclusion from what this is. They're just like, oh, I hate the guy.

So I'm going to do whatever I can to. And I've seen I've even seen someone like Bart Ehrman. Bart Ehrman at one time was known as a great debater. I don't think he is anymore.

I'll say it. He is not a good debater. He was at one time. What I mean by that is the way he would argue his case was. But for those of you who do not know, Bart Ehrman is the one who wrote misquoting Jesus. He has talked about how the Bible has so many errors, so many variants that you can't even get back to the original text, those kind of things.

This is Bart Ehrman. But at one time when he would argue, he argued against, I believe, Dennis DeSouza. He argued against Dan Wallace. He argued James White, an apologist, a couple other people. And always, even though you know that he is wrong, yet the way he would come across, the audience would be like, as a debate, I think Bart Ehrman won. Was it like the Kennedy-Nixon thing where he looked better and sounded better so people sided with him?

Yeah. Kennedy had nothing. Nixon had the right points, had the truth, had everything behind him. But Kennedy looks so cool, so suave.

He was so poised that people looked at Nixon as a career politician who was just hiding things, who was just nervous. And so it just messed him up. So going back to Bart Ehrman, he now has resorted to the same thing that an average person on the street argues with a placard or a sandwich board, you know, just like, you're stupid. I'm not stupid. You're stupid. And I've seen some of his arguments and I'm like, oh, wow.

And I think he's trying to drum up some, I guess, some publicity. The reason I'm going there is just to say people don't argue with facts anymore. That's true. Even scholars.

Since you brought up a scholar, this person I consider to be a good debater and a scholar to some extent, no. We even see that in marriage fights too, like when married couples are fighting, like you're talking about a specific issue and when one person feels like, I feel like I'm running out of steam on this, I've got to bring in something else. Like Jeff Foxworthy, for those of you who do not know Jeff Foxworthy, you know, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck, yeah. Like once you're done talking about your mate, then you can always bring the family in. Yeah, that's right.

That's right. We laugh about that, but it is the truth. And, boy, just let- I guess we just go be like your alcoholic mother. Just let your husband or your wife say something ugly about your mom or your dad and avoid the emotions. The emotions really rise at that point. And it's hard too because it's such a delicate thing because when they start doing that and then you say, hey, we're not talking about that right now, they're like, oh, see, see, you know I'm right.

It's like, well, I can't win either way. What advice would you give to somebody who's listening to the show or maybe watching and they recognize that tendency in themselves to just kind of react in emotion. That gut reaction in the moment, maybe their temper just spills over or they just instantly are reduced to tears or just would categorize themselves as a very emotional person. Well, for one, let's just talk to the husbands, since I'm a husband, I'll talk to the men. First Peter chapter three seven is very clear on that. Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding. What I've said here that we fight with our emotions and we try to reconcile with facts. We haven't even talked about reconciling yet.

Nothing new. The Bible talks about this 2,000 years ago, God's word has been given, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered. But the point that I'm making here is dwell with them with understanding, means take the time to stop and think and go. And the weaker vessel is not somebody who is mentally weak or physically weak, because that's what people immediately think, oh, the woman is weaker. She's inferior.

Inferior. Or she's just weaker. No, here it's more about she is more fragile and you have to think like that. And sometimes, Nicole would agree with that, some women don't act fragile or they're not happy with somebody who treats them as fragile, but there's a lot of strength in being fragile.

Yeah, that's true. And if you would consider that, you may find, if I don't, because he won't treat me that way, well, okay, you'll never try what God has given as a possible solution. I don't know about, well, of course, I'm the only woman here standing at this table, but I do remember, um, when it was in vogue, I guess, where men just wouldn't open doors for women anymore because women were, you know, being brash and saying, I can open my own door, you know, that, you know, that whole time. And when I encounter people like that, I kind of think, you know, that's rude.

And so when a man actually takes the time out of his day to open the door for me or whatever it is, because he's being a gentleman, I always make a point in saying thank you because you know what, there's probably a lot of women out there who are, you know, just walk through and, or, you know, I can do it myself kind of thing. But there is strength in not being weaker, but being a woman. One thing I would say, David brought up a point, he texted me, he said, what do you mean by fragile? Like delicate, no, fragile, I would look at it more as being precious rather than just breakable. It's something to be treasured. Treasure. That's what I look at it when I, when I read that word, weaker vessel, it's in verse seven.

And the word there is, let me see for a second, y'all can keep talking. Well, I'm kind of, I'm kind of even thinking through, like, we have a lot of expensive cameras here in the studio. Now if I drop it on the ground, it may not break. You know, that doesn't make it breakable. But it's very expensive. It's very precious to us.

You know, our equipment, we want to treat it with care. And so it's like, it's, you, you protect it because of its value. That it, not that it's easily breakable, like if I drop it, it probably will be fine.

But I don't want to drop it. Right. Yeah, exactly. The word there is austenia. Of course, austenia can be without strength or weak or sick and things like that. But it can also, in the right context, have the meaning of somebody who's delicate, somebody who is precious. Right.

Because then when somebody is sick, you kind of care for them. Right. So that's what it means. Somebody who needs to be cared for.

But if you're going to say, no, I don't need anybody caring for me, then I feel very sad for you. Isn't the word cherish in your marriage vows? Yeah. Yeah. Think about what that means. What does that mean? What does that mean?

Yeah. And this may be a discussion for another day, but it's gone beyond the bold and brash. I don't need a man to do this for me. I think it's now it's like, I don't want you to hold the door open for me because I don't know what you're thinking. You know, I'm scared of you. I'm very, I'm very put off and it has, because it was that at one point it was like, no, I'm strong. I'm independent.

Now it's like every man has ulterior motives. I'm really terrified. I don't want you anywhere near me. Please don't open the door for me. Don't walk me to my car.

Don't do any of that stuff for me because I'm scared to death. That's such a shame. That's such a shame. And that just speaks to where we are as a society at this point. Yeah.

It's terrible. If I can add one more thing in this whole discussion, of course we're talking about fighting with emotions when we should be fighting with facts. But another part of that statement that I made was, but then we reconcile with facts. We should be reconciling with emotions, not with facts. If you start going line item by line item, trying to say, okay, so you said that, but let me explain to you why I said this. You will never be able to reconcile. There's always going to be one something the other person did not do enough or one something that you did too much or whatever it is, you'll, you'll never be able to go, okay, so you see we're even now.

So can you give us an example of like when, what do you mean by when you say reconcile with the motion, but with emotion. A good illustration of that is when we were, I don't know, was it accidentally or whatever, we were having an argument and I sprayed some water on you or something or was it, I turned it on and the water just went on you. So I remember, was that at the kitchen sink? Yes. And it was the hose was broken.

We're having this tough discussion and I went to wash my hands and all of a sudden the water just went. And I was like, I didn't, I didn't mean to do that. Yeah. Whatever. And just laughed. Yeah.

And I was like, sorry, that would look funny. Yeah. So it just kind of. Yeah.

Broke it, broke it all up. Yeah. That's what you need, man. That's so good. So helpful for us. Hopefully it was helpful for those of you at home.

Write in the list of what you got from today's episode, two five two five eight two five zero two eight. Or you can visit us online at Clearview Don't forget, you can partner with us financially on that same website. Every gift that you give goes not only to building up this radio show, but countless other ministries for the gospel of Jesus. Lots of great content coming your way this week. Make sure you guys tune in. Love you guys. We'll see you tomorrow on Clearview Today.
Whisper: medium.en / 2024-06-19 12:57:48 / 2024-06-19 13:13:00 / 15

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