Wednesday, February 14th | The Couples Corner!

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T-O-D-A-Y. A healthier, happier you is just a click away. Let me do things in the right order. You're listening to Clearview Today with Dr. Abbadat Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You can visit us online at ClearviewTodayShow.com. If you have any questions for Dr. Shah or suggestions for new topics, send us a text at 252-582-5028, or you can email us at contact at ClearviewTodayShow.com.

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We're going to leave a couple of links in the description so you can do that. All right, enough of this, enough of the intro. This is time for me.

What? It's my time. Wait a minute.

Historically inaccurate and also the wrong heart to bring to the Clearview Today show. Are you ready? Speaking of heart, we're going to talk about love today. Are you ready? I guess I have no choice. It's not are you ready. You are ready. Yeah, you're going to be ready. You are ready. Ready or not. You want to introduce our special guests before you... I got this. I got this. Go ahead.

Leave the show. Welcome to the second installment of Clearview Today's Not So Newlywed Game. Nice. This is going to be a game where David, yours truly, stirs up lots of strife. Oh, no. Oh, dear. Man, after my own heart. Get ready.

This is going to be a fun ride. As we begin, I want you guys to go around the table, introduce yourselves, and tell how you met your partner. My name is John, and Ellie and I met... Oh, my goodness. I think we met in youth group in 2009. Yeah. Wow. October 2009.

Yeah, that's true. My name is Ryan. Elizabeth and I met also in youth group in 2001. 2001. Oh, my goodness. 2001.

Bro, Dr. Chaz better blow us all out of the water. Well, Nicole and I met in college, and we met in 1994. I was two years old. I was not around. I was one. You were not. You were what? I was one. One. Wow.

Okay, so since the husbands did how y'all met, I want y'all to give the first impressions, like what you thought. Okay. Oh, dear. Okay, so it starts with me. My name is Nicole, and of course, I'm Avidan's wife, and my first impression, dare I say it. You dare. You dare it. On the edge of my feet, Nicole.

It's on the radio now. My first impression was he had a sexy walk. Whoa. Oh, man. Walking away. Walking away.

All right. Walking away. Put your children away. Put your children away.

Over their ears. This is Clearview tonight. Am I saying my name too? Yes.

Yeah, you must. So I'm Elizabeth, and I guess my first impression of Ryan, he's kind of always been about the hair. He had a nice middle part. I did. The Jonathan Taylor Thomas right middle part. Oh, yeah.

I liked the surfer cut that I saw on you in some of those pictures. Yeah, but this was before we saw that. Yeah.

You're not even talking about that. No, no, no. Wow. You saw like 18, 19-year-old Ryan.

She's talking about 13-year-old Ryan. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah.

That's insane. He was a little bit of a nerd. Yeah. But a nice guy. A nice guy. Yeah. Nice guy. It's kind of still. What you're hearing is firmly in the friend zone. Yeah.

There's a market for nice guys. That's fine. Honestly.

Well, I'm Ellie Galantis. First impression was he was really funny for just meeting him, but yeah. Still funny. Yeah. When you don't have looks going for you, that's... That's not true. That's not true. No.

See, back then I was really, really scrawny and gangly, so I had not filled out at all, so I was like, I just got to be funny. Bank on humor. I'll just bank on that. Well, today on the Not So Newlywed Game, we are going to have certain rounds with different questions, and the way this is going to work for anybody listening, and also for... You guys have participated before, but just to give a refresher, what we're going to do is I'm going to ask a question.

I'm going to ask it to the wife, and it's going to be, your husband thinks this or does this or blah, blah, blah, and you're going to have to write how you think your husband is going to answer, and when it goes to the wife, it'll be the same the other way. That's the setup of the game. There's going to be some extra stuff happening, but we'll get to that as it comes up, so are you guys ready for our first round? I think so. I'm scared. Very ready. Okay.

So ready. Also, since there's a radio audience, when we hold the thing up, let's also read it. Read it out loud as well, just for the people who are listening.

And also, just to add some little flavor, just... I thought for sure he was going to say one more thing. Make sure to have fun. Oh.

I thought for sure he was going to be that. Have fun, kids. I was just going to say discuss it. Take a second to discuss it.

Not a whole lot of time, but just a little bit of time to kind of go over the background for it. Let's do it. Okay.

All right. Starting off with the wife's. Wives. The wives. The wives. The wives. What are your husband's top three bucket list items?

The look of despair on Elizabeth's face made me feel pretty good about our eyes. You know, Ellie, I don't know if you remember this, but we took the trophy home last year. I don't know that we're taking it this year. I think we need something to be the trophy. Hold on one second.

I think I need to be right back and compose a bucket list real quick. This is going to be our trophy, so maybe every year we pass a trophy back and forth. Because we've pledged our undying love to one another. So, for the radio audience, I've got a can of pledge. That's pretty good. All about a prop. Wow. Hey, that does actually have pledge in it. So the way this, you know, just as you guys are thinking and talking, you know, I was thinking about what could really reveal how much, you know, couples know each other. And I thought, well, maybe having some kind of bucket list, something that you want to do before you inevitably don't.

So that's kind of what- I feel like I would know these, but because you asked them, I'm drawing blanks. And I put two out of the three down. All right. You guys have- I'm not ready yet. I'm not either.

I am not ready. I am drawing a blank right now. Do y'all even know what y'all bucket list is?

I feel like I did at some point. I'm going to give y'all 30 seconds. Okay. Oh my goodness. So- Three things, right?

Three things. Just whatever- Let it be known. I was the first to finish. Yes, you were. I think you get points for that. I'm pretty sure. The bucket list, like where we go or stuff like that?

Where you go, what you want to do, like jumping out of a plane or like going to a country or doing something like that. Okay. All right. I don't know. I know that these are on the list somewhere.

I don't know if they're top three. Yeah. All right. And it's time.

Good luck. So we will start with Ellie since y'all won last time. So am I saying it first or is he telling it? You're going to flip it? No, no, no. You tell it first.

You tell it first and you flip it. Okay. Yeah.

That makes more sense. I don't, man, I don't know about like events. I want to retire to Galilee.

That's for sure. Uh, I would love to, let's see, uh, I'd love to go to space. Oh, let me, let me look into her head.

I'd love to turn on your telepathy. I don't know if I have a third one. You have to have a third one.

I had to put three. Uh, go to, go to Paris. Paris. All right. Let's flip the board.

Paris. I got one. Okay. That one's good. Go to space, see Coldplay in concert. Okay.

Those are good. Indoor skydiving. Go to space. Sure.

Go to spaces. It's been forbidden though. Yeah.

No, that one's not. It is theoretically on your bucket list. It's on the bucket list, but it's a hard no. I couldn't think. I couldn't think.

I got one. Yeah. Are we doing it?

Are we kind of just like, we had to get all of them? Whoever wins the round. Oh, okay. Oh God. All right. Elizabeth. All right. So, um, I would say in no particular order, um, write a book, um, go visit Ireland and go skydiving. All right.

We got two out of three. Oh, okay. I just felt like a future. See grandkids is good.

Hers is Ireland skydiving and then see his grandkids. Write a book is a good one. That should have been on mine. I don't know why I didn't think of that. Yeah. I didn't write that down obviously, but I didn't. I will, I will go ahead and say I only got two on here, so you only have to guess two. Okay. Uh, make a movie and um, call me, uh, have, um, have a farm. It might help to put a third though, Nicole.

He might cross another one off the list. Uh, I just put two places that she wanted to go. England and Germany, Germany. Okay. Yeah. I was going to say travel Europe, but I was like, maybe you won't get that. Well, you could have got two in one.

Those are two places. I know he wants to go. Well, this round goes to Ryan and Elizabeth.

Team Hill. Good job. We are going to go to the husband's part of round one. What is the book that your wife could reread over and over? Oh, I got this.

I hope he is. It can be any book. It can be fiction, nonfiction.

I mean, it can be the Bible, but that would be kind of. I am confident in this answer. I'm confident in my answer, but I'm not confident that she'll get it. I can't even like, oh my, I'm going blank, completely blank. All right.

Let's start backwards and give you some time to think then. Please pass the shot on Nicole. So Nicole, what's your book?

Redeeming Love by Francine. I knew he was. Just couldn't remember the name. Nice. Okay.

Ryan and Elizabeth. There's a lot of silence here. You got it. It's just right there.

I mean, the first book that came to mind, I've actually only read it once, but it's one that I would like to read again. So it would be My Sister's Keeper. Yeah, it is. We got to get the pressures on. It's cool. We're about to lose this point.

It's like the only book you've ever told me. You what? Nothing.

I didn't say anything. Hair, hair. What? That was going to be my answer too.

Hair today, gone tomorrow. I was going, well, I thought about East of Eden. I'm not cheating. I'm okay to sacrifice the point, but that's exactly what I thought about it. But I didn't know that was the only book about liking. I mean, I like other books, but I know I'd recommend it cause I wanted you to read it.

I never read it. I'm okay to sacrifice cause I think I cheated a little bit. I'll give points to both Pastor Sean, Nicole and Ryan, Elizabeth for that one. Nice. Okay. Give up, give up your boards and we will go back.

Hate to see it go. So I'm going to give y'all a second to think, but for the wives, what, and this is kind of, this is not, it's kind of dark. What would your husband's death row meal be? Oh bro, she's already here. I feel like I could probably answer that for you. Anybody can answer that.

I can't even meet all right. Oh mercy. I see. Last writing last meal.

This is where your repetition comes in handy. Oh yeah. If anybody cares, mine would be butter chicken for sure. Yeah.

I would just wear or just from Royal India. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. I would shout out to roll in capital Boulevard chain or is it just a restaurant? It's just a restaurant.

I would, I would probably get like a few gallons. So I'd be eating on for a while. Well no, I want to, I want to extend it. I see. I see. All right.

We'll start with, we'll start with John and Ellie. It's obviously spaghetti. Sorry. Yeah. That's what it's going to be. I really shouldn't have asked that.

I should have known y'all. Just any sort of carb at all, but definitely that one. Okay.

Ryan and Elizabeth, no, your lack of confidence is not inspired. Your lack of faith disturbs my death row meal. I've had to pick one thing.

It'd probably be a Euro. Yeah, no, no, no. To be fair, I do love the way she makes tuna casserole.

I do love it. I've never seen you eat tuna casserole in my life. That's cause we don't have any leftovers.

But it would be like a lamb Euro. Okay. Tuna casserole is like the one thing that everybody's like, Ew, tuna casserole.

My family loves it. Wow. There you go.

That's all matters. Now for the Shaws. Anything that the South Indian Nurupi type food. Did you just put Indian food? I had something else at the top, but then I thought, Oh, or anything you do.

She said, what was the something on the top now? Steak and baked potato. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I mean I was thinking what she would think, but yeah, steak. I can't, I can't go wrong with that. It's hard to turn down a good steak. If I can just lather it up with Heinz 57 baked potato with extra butter, extra sour cream, some sour cream, some cheese. I'm trying not to do that.

My stomach, we need to get supper after this. Yes. All right. Next question. What is a habit that your husband has that you find cute or quirky? So you, so it's going to be...

I didn't like that noise. Cute or quirky. I have lots of habits.

Most of his habits are bad habits. Wow. Cute. So sorry.

Love you. Oh, I, I think you could have one. Cute or quirky.

Cute or quirky. I have no idea what this would even be. Well, maybe I have an idea. Maybe I have an idea. Maybe I have an idea. I just, I have it, but I'm not sure if she will. Yeah. Right. I have an idea.

I don't know if it's a good idea. I need some time with this one. Geez, Ellie.

I can give you 30 seconds. I'm stinking. I mean, she's a boy too.

I don't have anything either. I mean, 28, 27, 26. I mean, we all have three. The good thing about radio is you can edit it out so that you don't have to count out loud. I'm just joking. You can count if you want to. I like counting. You'd be a good host, dude.

Yeah, he's just a love doctor. I'm trying to channel like my uncle Bob Bucker. All right. All right.

You got to answer. You let Nicole go first. Not anymore.

She just erased it. Hold on a second. Hold on. All right, Nicole, you're first.

Oh no. I have to say it. You have to say it. You're pretty much always stinking a little bit. I would say for me, I like to, it's a habit or is this something I like? I mean, I shake off the bed and get it all, the sheets all.

I didn't say it. What I think is funny and I didn't get to finish, cause I couldn't think of the word to go with it, but the way he is, I know, but he is so methodical with his bathroom, like routine. I mean, you, you can, I can pretty much set my watch.

What do I do? This cuticle bathroom, you use the bathroom really fun. I'm talking about like shaving, shaving. He does everything in a certain way. It's cute. The routine. Yes.

It's not, I can set my watch to it. I literally know exactly what he's going to do next. Really?

Because he is that methodical. Okay. Oh, you've got predictable man. All right, Ryan. All right.

Um, so she's still writing. I would say probably sorting the dishes by color. Putting the dishes in the, like they have to be alternating colors when I put them in the cabinet, like the plates and the bowls. We have a set of Fiesta wear that has two different colors.

There's one that's native blue and one that's beige and it has to be every color of the color. Otherwise I'm not going to be able to sleep at night. That's a good point.

No, it is not what I wrote. I just put attention to detail with his hair with the hair, attention to detail. Like he's got to have it just right. Oh, do you go getting that one for me?

The hair. So I thought that and I was like, well, that actually kind of applies to you both, but yeah. All right. I have something at least written down now. Uh, I don't know. Cause I don't think so few of my habits are good.

Um, I'm sorry to hear that. The way I walk, like my walk. I didn't even think about that.

Like the way I bounce when I walk. It's that, or that's not you anymore. It's Gavin. Yeah. I'm going to say it.

I know that's not it, but that's not what I put. I said how particular you are of your books. Yeah, that's true.

I'm real, I'm real funny. I hate to budge in cause this is a couples thing, but I got John a Christmas present once, but it was hard cover. So he despised it. I didn't, that is true. I didn't return it, but I put it in the back when they don't match. He's very particular over his books matching.

If it's a set, it's gotta be a, if I've got a set, then they have to, they have to all match. I understand that. And so David, I had the expanse, I had eight books and then the ninth book David gave me was hardcover and I was like, oh my goodness. But he gave it to me. So I was like, what am I going to say? So I was like, thanks bud. And I just set it in the back.

I had to wait a year for the paperback to come out and then play, like hope he would notice. Okay. Oh, who got that? I forgot.

Uh, so no points. Cool. All right, well now we're entering what I like to call the lightning round. I am inspired.

I don't like this. I'm inspired by our lightning round questions. So what you want to do is take those sticks and if you've ever been to like, like the wedding showers where they play the games with like who does this and who does that, that's basically what we're going to do here. Okay.

And it's going to be quick. She's going to be a little interlude and then we'll go into our final round of questions. So lightning round. Should we still, oh yeah, should we still, should we still say it for the radio? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So out of the group, who is the better cook?

Ready? Should we go one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three wife. I say, husband. Yeah. Thanks, Ellie. Appreciate that.

Pretty even, but I would go wife. Yeah, I think we all agreed. Yeah.

I gave Nicole. Okay. Okay.

Very nice. Okay. So who is funnier?

Three, two, one. Husband. You lied. I think you're, you're like the Ross Geller of our marriage. You're not funny often, but when you are, it's, it's, it's pretty on point. You don't really want to be a Chandler.

Like you're just own all the time. You want to be a Ross. I like Chandler. Okay. Okay. Who is more fashionable in three, two, one. I said, wife.

You're more fashionable than Elizabeth. Yeah. Really?

I love it. Now who takes longer showers? Three, two, one. Oh, this is going to be a fight. We're not actually saying it for the radio, but it was. Yeah, definitely. I said, we said, there's only one who disagreed. Yep.

Well, well, you, so you think you, I thought I took a longer shower than her, but it's like you're both throwing yourselves under the bus. Yeah. Okay. Who is more of a risk taker?

Three, two, one. Ellie, are you for real? Yeah.

I take, I take very calculated risk. You usually like that. No, I eat the same meal and watch the same. Well, that's true.

That's true. I changed my head. All right. Who is more addicted to their cell phone?

Three, two, one. Why are you lying? He has his phone in his hand.

I am answering people who are going through difficult times. And I hope that's true, but I put my phone down. I don't know if he ever puts his phone.

No, Ellie falls asleep with hers and her. I've, I've opened up before. I mean, I do. I do.

But you have yours on you more. I may or may not have caught Elizabeth in the bed like this. Completely asleep like that on the top of the video. Full volume. Yup. No, I'm working on it. I'm trying to put it down. You dropped your phone on your face.

I don't know how many times. Who is a better driver in three, two, one. Yeah.

I can't even play with it. You think you're a better driver than Dr. Shaw? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Yes. Because he, I think he's got faster reflexes than I do. I mean just overall. Um, and he's never, he's never had a wreck and I've had one. So yeah, we know about that. That's not true. I've had a wreck.

Oh yes. So one car accident. My first time driving in America. You were 17. I think you probably get a pass. I think you can get a pass on that. I say Ryan's a safer driver, but I, I think I'm, I think I still think I'm a better, you think you're a better driver.

John's the king of the road. No. Okay.

And the final lightning round question. And the more I look at it, I feel like this is going to be easy to answer for all y'all. But who was the one that initiated the relationship? Three. Oh, three, two, one. Sorry. Yeah. My bad. Yeah. There you go.

I thought it was pretty even for us though, but I went with you successfully. It was you. That's Sean Ryan. Uh, Nicole had video evidence of there. Yeah. That's true. And it was him. It was me. Yeah. I like it.

I asked her out and she said no. What? And then, right. And the, this was back when 13 year old Ryan Jonathan Thomas here.

Hold on, hold on. Six months later we had genuinely become friends. The thought of a relationship actually happening was kind of off the table for me. And so then she calls me and she's like, Hey, you remember when you asked me out last summer? And I was like, yeah. She was like, why don't you ask me again? No, I didn't call you. I couldn't call you. It was on aim. I said, Hey, I told you to ask me again. And then you called me. Cause you couldn't ask over that. You're right.

That's right. We can log back in. I don't even remember the past. I was in the Goldstone dorm at Southeastern and I asked Ellie out over aim. I was like, Hey, I've been telling everybody here that you're my girlfriend.

So I just hope you're cool with it. We'd already kind of communicate. We liked each other before that though. With me it was more, um, I had seen her, I had this, um, guy in the security who said, came to me and said, you know, that girl, man, she's really pretty, no idea. He was talking about my future wife.

I saw her and I was like, Oh yes, I'm going to get her. Also, I have to remind him, I don't know if he remembers this, but one of his buddies, I don't know if he was, if he worked with you on security or not, but he came to my dorm and he was, was it Dan? And he said, um, do you like Abaddon? And I'm like, I mean, I guess, I mean, I like him as a friend.

Well, if he asked you out, would you go out with him? And I'm like, I guess so. Yeah. Did you send Dan over that door? Well, uh, yeah, I had. So I forgot about that.

Dan even followed through on it. Yeah. That's a good friend.

You got to go send your buddy, like just go scout it out. Well, we have had fun so far and we're going to have to do this again next year, but to end this entire podcast, you all are at varying stages in your marriage from how many years you've been together and kids of all that stuff. You know, some of you are closer to being emptiness.

Some of you are right in the thick of it. And some of you are in the beginning of the stages of having kids. So for each couple, I want you to give your best advice to soon to be already like in marriage or the veterans of marriage who might need a little bit of help. Um, I would say for me, I mean, obviously keep Christ first, but also find older couples like the ones at this table who have been married for longer and emulate them.

Find the things in their marriage that you see that you like and that you admire, understand why you admire them and then do your best to emulate them. But especially if they're emulating Christ, um, and the relationship between Christ and the church, I think, um, that's what's really helped us the most. I agree with that.

Yeah. I would say, um, you know, definitely what John said, keep Christ for us. The key to any successful marriage is pursuing God first. Um, but beyond that, don't stop pursuing each other. Uh, you became a really great student of what I became a really great student of what Elizabeth liked when we were dating cause I wanted to impress her. I want to do things that she liked and that shouldn't stop.

Now that we have been married for, uh, you know, uh, almost 15 years now, we've got five kids that shouldn't stop. I shouldn't stop learning about her. I shouldn't stop learning the things that she likes.

I shouldn't stop being a student of and pursuing my wife. Yeah, absolutely. Like, if I can add to that, I would just say be best friends. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed. That, I mean, you are my best friend. And so I share all that friendship with you and I think that solidifies our bond.

Yep. Very well said. And for us, same thing. Have Christ first and also know that marriages work and you'll have its ups and downs. Uh, but you are in the long haul. You're in the commitment.

Uh, you should have a commitment to finish well. That's right. I agree with that.

I agree with that. Um, one thing that I have always told any couple that, um, is just about to be married or just married is I tell them, don't go home and tell mom and dad about any arguments or fights or anything because you will make up and you will be okay. You'll get over it. But mom and dad may not ever get over it and then their relationship with your spouse is forever tainted or just is kind of messed up.

Yeah. And because they may not ever forgive them, but you will. So just, you know, you'll work it out. It'll be all right. Very nice. Well, thank you guys for participating in the not so newlywed game. Thank you for hosting. It was fun. It was fun. It was very fun.

Well, we'll do this again next year. I'll be your host, but for now I'm going to let Ryan kick us out. Man. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Wise for joining us on clear view today.

It's such a great episode. I look forward to this every single year by the way. I didn't, I lost count. So I think everybody won cause I lost count of food. Everybody wins. It's supposed to be the trophy. It's, it's our pleasure. One another. There you go. That's right. If you guys enjoyed today's episode, maybe you learned something about marriage in the process, right?

And let us know two five two five eight two five zero two eight. You can visit us online at clear view today show.com. Don't forget you can partner with us financially on that same website. Scroll to the bottom, click that donate button and let us know it's coming from our clear read today show family. Also want to remind you to visit mighty muscadine.com. They're the sponsors of today's episode.

Check out their line of products. Use that promo code today. That's T O D A Y. When you check out it's going to get you a great discount and a portion of those proceeds are going to come right back here to the clear read today show. John, what's coming up tomorrow. Going to keep this theme of love going. A lot of us don't know how to love. Love isn't here. You want to know how come?

Because you weren't loved properly. But guess what? With Christ. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That was like therapy deep, dude. You got no clue. Wait till we talk about it tomorrow here on the clear read today show. We're going to drop some wisdom on y'all about how to love properly. Okay. All right. I'm looking forward to it. Love you guys. We'll see you tomorrow on clear read today.