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Dear Gary - November

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman
The Truth Network Radio
November 27, 2021 1:00 am

Dear Gary - November

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman

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November 27, 2021 1:00 am

Are you out of hope for a relationship? Maybe it’s your marriage, or a prodigal child. If you’ve come to the end of your hope, find encouragement on today's post-Thanksgiving serving of Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. It’s a “Dear Gary” edition as listeners call with questions about their relationships and get help from trusted author and counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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People are catching on to "The 5 Love Languages" you can reach 65 lands language and the need to feel love the significant people in your life emotionally with my wife and I read it together and we quickly realize like we are the exact opposite of the love language, scaled quizzes, with the Gary Chapman to me love I would just love language question marriage struggles and more today on Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, I would warn people about. Only welcome to Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times bestseller "The 5 Love Languages" today are post-Thanksgiving dear Gary broadcast Dr. Chapman addresses your questions or feedback and your marriage struggles you have a question, write down the number give us a cold burning issue you're doing with future broadcast, here's the number 186-6424 Gary phone message 66424 dear Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times a year.

I know you feel the same and we are less than a month away from Christmas. Our featured resource Facebook extraordinary grace. That's a reason to give thanks to God's extraordinary grace was about Chris you will work together on this one. I really like it. The subtitle of the book really tells you what it is how the unlikely lineage of Jesus reveals God's amazing grace and in this resource we look at the map to your worry gives ancestry of Jesus I tell you Chris. Some of those forms were not stellar people look a lot like us and some of them look worse than us to reduce it's just a way of showing God's amazing grace if he can take the people that were in the lineage of Jesus, and you use people like that he can use us.

I don't care who we are and where we are today. So the message of real hope was real hope for dysfunctional families were all dysfunctional to another. II agree with you and if there's anybody. I think a lot of people say well I will become a Christian. When I clean myself up then and it's like you. You look at these because the Old Testament that God used and you see so many messed up lives. God does not want to make you just a little bit better. You know, just tweak you a little bit here and there. He wants to radically transform you from the inside out and so that's what this book is all talking about the transforming power of the love of God, the grace of God the mercy of God and through his son Jesus Christ. So I remember getting the message that you preached on this because it was based on a message that you preached near Christmas one year and just going into these people's lives is really eye-opening. Well, it really is crisp because it says that synagogue can take us where we are and he can change our lives radically. If you want to have a copy of that you find it at our website. Five love languages.com the title extraordinary grace of the unlikely lineage of Jesus reveals God's amazing love again, go to five love languages.com look at our first call today. Gary in this caller left a message, but wanted to remain anonymous so let me read her question hi Gary, my question is how you handle a relationship you've been in for 40 years.

But yet you feel distance from each other. I feel there is a lot of resentment. Maybe because he resented that he married me. I have no voice in my marriage. He feels his word is law what you do in a case like that, please help me Chris. I think in a situation like that. The natural fall is if they would just change we can have a better marriage.

And that's true. If I change it could have a better marriage but you can't change them. So the question is what can I do that might have the potential to make things better and we said through the years. You can't change your spouse and that's true.

But we can influence our spouse. In fact we do every single day.

The things we say the things we do, we either influence them in a negative way or positively can give numbers of examples Chris from our counseling, where one of them would not even come for counseling, but the other would come and we worked on this premise that you can influence them in a positive way and want the place we start is by making sure they know their spouses love language and sometimes in a relationship like this it's gone on for 40 years. They don't know what would like their spouse. Beloved fact. You know they don't remember what it feels like to feel love themselves.

But obviously, this caller does not want to discover their love language set a goal to speak it at least once a week for six months. People cited when you draw the love language thing it didn't work. I spoke their leveling for three weeks. Nothing happened. Thanks longer than three weeks. Okay I want to see if you're really serious and so six months shows them hey, something's happened here they're treating me differently what they used to treat me. I don't know what's going on but God can use that to touch their hearts. I can't guarantee that in this situation, the spouse will turn around and began to treat them humanely and eventually come to love them and speak their love language, but I can tell you I've seen that approach work miracles and not marriages, so that would be my suggestion know where to start. You got nothing to lose everything to gain. But you will need God's help to do this because this is not natural. What's natural is the love the people that love us what's natural and supernatural is the love someone who's not loving us, but that's precisely what God did for us. He loved us.

The Bible says while we were still sinners, so ask God to pour his love into your heart. Let you be his agent for loving your spouse and see what happens to me that's that's the place to start the sentence that jumped out at me was I have no voice in my marriage and that I can interpret that a lot of different ways, but it you go to gear together for years you're ingrained in patterns and the past is affected your present and is is affecting your future as well. And if if you don't have that communication you. I think all she's asking for is I want him to listen to me on a decision or anything that that's going on. I want to be heard and I don't feel like I'm heard that's huge is true she can have a healthy marriage when one is like that. It's not a healthy marriage. But the question is, in an unhealthy marriage. What can I do because you can't make them change it would be nice if he would change but she can influence him. Sometimes we underestimate the power of influence.

Usually when she starts doing something radically different from what she's done in the past that is loving him in a meaningful way to him in spite of the fact that she feels overstepped. Don't let her feelings control her but let her attitude control her got. I want to be your agent for loving him and just see what you will do with him. So God can use her to touch his heart that's essentially what I'm saying.

Our program is Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman and this is our dear Gary broadcast for November. If you have a relationship question, no line 186-6424 Gary it's not a counseling line. We can call you back if you keep your question as brief as possible. Will try to address it here on the program.

Also, be sure to turn down any music or the radio in the background. The cost today 186-6424 Gary featured resources.

A great reminder of why we celebrate Christmas extraordinary grace of the unlikely lineage of Jesus reveals God's amazing love.

You can find out more about it at her website. Five love languages.com it's five love languages.com. I read her first question. Let me go to the mailbag for this next one. Gary is actually an email and it references our program in October with Michelle Watson Canfield about dads and daughters. I have appreciated listening to your program today about dads and daughters.

I do wish there was more helpful.

Relationships between mothers and sons. I seldom hear any help or book suggestions for this issue. I fully believe that when boys marry. The most important woman in their lives is to be their wives. I am not a hovering mother, but I feel a sad loss of relationship with my sons when I asked what could I do to be a better mother. Their answer is nothing you did fine. One son is never made a profession of faith and absolutely refuses to talk about it. Boys do not typically want to answer the questions you are proposing for dads to ask daughters.

I know my boys love me but we do not have a close relationship that I observe with daughters. Both boys have wives with doting parents. I just feel left out on the side. Should I just accept the relationship we have. Realizing that it may not be what I want and that they are perfectly happy with the way it is or is there something I can do to balance not being number one but being important in the lives of my sons. I've talked other mothers of sons and we all feel the same way they are husbands, fathers, heads of their own homes, but they are still our sons what he say that mom Gary, I think most moms who are listening will identify with that. I don't know that they all feel as strongly as she does. And yes, there are sons grown sons and have good relationships with their mothers, but most mothers said to me, my son doesn't contact me like my daughter does once every three months. I might get a letter or an email or text from him, where is my daughters in contact with me every every week so I can understand that but part of the answer is, recognizing what she said in the in this email and that is it. He now has a family of his own.

He has huge responsibility is working full time trying to support them.

His wife has expectations of him when he is at home. His children have expectations of him.

So it's not necessarily that he doesn't love you and you and exit. She said she feels that he does love her. She just wish it would be closer and I think the implication is that will be more contact between the two of them will positive contact, but I think recognizing his situation and affirming him in terms of being a good dad to his children being good husband to his to his wife. Your affirmations are more likely to open the door.

Then your complaining to him about. I wish you call more.

Wish we could have a closer relationship that simply frustrates him and tends to push him away that your discontent even though he is doing everything he knows to do to be a good husband and a good father think that would bill a suggestion is to give them affirmation about his role as a husband and his role as a father, the more affirmation he hears from you. More likely he is reach out to you because people like to be affirmed so empathetic with her pain, but complaining about it.

I don't think is going to help you think you make it worse. Could there be a love language component to this that her love language is perhaps quality time and that when he comes over and just sits and talk. She feels affirmed and validated, and you like my sons back again and it did, it wouldn't really take that much it might just take phone call or you know, every week rather than your taking her out to dinner every night.

Yeah, I think I think love limas does have a component to this. Whether he understands her love language which he may not at all whether she understands the love language concept and why she may be hurt because he doesn't spend more time with her, or do more things for her acts of service or give her words of affirmation, lack of love that is the sense that that they don't love me deeply comes when they don't speak. I love language so one thing she might do is give him a copy of the book "The 5 Love Languages" as a gift for Christmas and this so yeah here's a book that sold 20 million copies is it's helped a lot of people. I thought you might like it so I gave it to me for Christmas. These if he reads that book it will enhance his relationship with his wife and his children and he may even get the idea. Hey, my mother has a love language. Maybe I haven't been speaking and if you go to the website. Five love languages.com you can take an assessment for you or someone that you love and want to show love to go to five love languages.com I don't think we've ever had this question before Gary about the love languages. Here we go very honored to talk with you greatly appreciate your couple questions on the variables of "The 5 Love Languages" are one of them would be part of you love languages like how we feel how immature help you grow as a person wondering where Mike like to do the gifts or acts of service or STUFFED YELLOW?

CAN RELATE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT TRANSFORMING OF THINGS THAT IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE GIVING ARE JUST. IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE ONE THAT LIKES TO RECEIVE ANY OF THE 51 BUT LOVE LANGUAGES AS WELL AS GIVE ANY OF THE LOVE LANGUAGES FOR ME ARE JUST, FOLLOWING ALL THE POSSIBILITIES AND THE GIVING AND TAKING OF ANY OF THE LOVE LANGUAGES. IF IT'S A FUSION OF LIFE OR ALL THE POSSIBILITIES AND AGAIN ALL VARIABLE COMBINATIONS OF LOVE LANGUAGES. THANK YOU, CHRIS. LET ME START WITH THE LAST PART OF THE QUESTION AND THAT IS IS THE LOVE LANGUAGE THAT WERE GIVING BECAUSE HE SEEMS TO BE READING THE BOOK THAT THE MAIN THING IS GIVING AND AND MAYBE THAT IS THAT THAT IS THE MESSAGE THAT I'M TALK ABOUT HOW TO COMMUNICATE LOVE EFFECTIVELY BY LEARNING THE OTHER PERSON'S LOVE LANGUAGE, BUT THE REALITY IS, YES, ALL OF US NEED LOVE AND THE BOOK SHOULD HELP US UNDERSTAND WHAT OUR LOVE LANGUAGES AND I THINK IT DOES IN COURSES, YOU MENTIONED THE QUIZ. THE FREE QUIZ ONLINE. FIVE LOVE LANGUAGE.COM HELPS YOU DISCOVER YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE SO MANY TIMES THE ONE THAT WE WANT TO RECEIVE IS THE ONE THAT WE MOST NORMALLY NATURALLY GIVE TO THE OTHER PERSON AND IT MIGHT NOT BE THERE LEVELING IT ALL AND WE MAY WONDER WHY THEY DON'T RESPOND MORE POSITIVELY TO WHAT I'M DOING. I'M SPEAKING MY LOVE LANGUAGE THAT THEM, BUT THEY DON'T SEEM TO BE GETTING IT SO THAT THE BOOK HELPS WITH THAT. THE CONCEPT HELPS WITH THAT, BUT IT ALSO HELPS OTHER PEOPLE IF THEY UNDERSTAND YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE BECAUSE WHEN THEY DO WANT TO EXPRESS LOVE. NOW THEY KNOW YOU WHAT LANGUAGE WOULD SPEAK MOSTLY TO DO YOU.

THE OTHER PART OF THE QUESTION IS, IS THE LOVE LANGUAGE THAT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE OR THAT PEOPLE WANT TO RECEIVE AFFECTED BY YOUR EMOTIONAL FEELINGS ARE CIRCUMSTANCES OR STAGES OF LIFE THAT YOU MIGHT BE GOING THROUGH AND I THINK THE ANSWER THAT IS YES. I THINK THAT THE PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE TENDS TO STAY WITH US FOR A LIFETIME. BUT HAVING SAID THAT, YES, I THINK THEIR SEASONS OF LIFE ONE ANOTHER. LOVE LANGUAGE BUT BECOME MORE IMPORTANT BECAUSE OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES. FOR EXAMPLE, A MOTHER WHO HAS TWO OR THREE PRESCHOOL CHILDREN ACTS OF SERVICE MAY NOT BE HER PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE, BUT DURING THOSE YEARS, IT'S LIKELY GOING TO JUMP TO THE TOP BECAUSE SHE IS OVERWHELMED WITH ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE TO BE DONE IN CARING FOR THOSE CHILDREN SO YES I THINK THEIR SEASONS OF LIFE ONE ANOTHER. LOVE LANGUAGE MAY BECOME MORE PREDOMINANT IN TERMS OF WHAT YOU PERCEIVE. LOVE HOW YOU PERCEIVE, LOVE, AND I THINK IT MAY BE CIRCUMSTANCES JUST GO ON A GIVEN DAY. MAYBE YOU'VE RECEIVE NEWS FROM FAMILY MEMBERS OF SOMEONE THAT'S CRITICALLY ILL, OR PERHAPS SOMEONE IS DIED AND SO YOU'RE REALLY YOUR HEART IS HEAVY AND THE PHYSICAL TOUCH MIGHT NOT BE YOUR LANGUAGE, BUT IF IT'S HEAVY AND YOU YOU START CRYING AND YOUR SPOUSE COMES OVER AND THIS PUTS HER ARMS AROUND YOU THAT MAY SPEAK MORE DEEPLY TO YOU WITH THAT DAY. EVEN THOUGH PHYSICAL TOUCH IS NOT YOUR LANGUAGE SO YOU CIRCUMSTANCES STAGES OF LIFE MAY AFFECT THE LOVE LANGUAGE THAT A PERSON PREFERS THAT I THINK THAT WAS TWO QUESTIONS THAT HAD YET DOES GOOD AND AND I JUST SAID THAT PHYSICAL TOUCH THING I REMEMBER A PASTOR THAT WAS AT THE TIME WE WERE LIVING IN COLORADO AND GOING THROUGH A REALLY DEEP STRUGGLE REALLY HARD TIME WITH HER FAMILY AND A PASTOR CAME THROUGH.

WHO KNEW ME AND HE STOPPED BY AND SAT DOWN ON THE COUCH AND YOU KNOW WE WERE, LAMENTING THE SEASON THAT WE WERE IN AND HE SAID BEFORE I LEAVE TODAY CHRIS HOW X WILL PRAY FOR YOU BECAUSE IT WAS JUST HIM AND ME AND THAT ON THE COUCH AND HE, LIKE I SAID BEFORE YOU PLEASE MAKE IT A GOOD ONE AND AND SO I CLOSE MY EYES AND ABOUT MY HEAD. I FELT HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER AND AS HE PRAYED HE JUST PLACED HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER AND I FELT THERE WAS SOMETHING THE WORDS THAT HE PRAYED WERE SO MEANINGFUL, BUT IT WAS THAT PHYSICAL TOUCH THAT WAS LEFT WAS SO LIFE-GIVING AND I DON'T THINK THAT'S MY PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE, BUT THAT DAY IT WAS AS IF GOD HIMSELF WILL YOU KNOW THAT HE USE THIS PASTOR JUST TO PUT HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT WILL DO TO SOMEBODY ELSE THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SHOW LOVE TO ABSOLUTELY CHRIS AND THAT'S IT. THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE OF THAT. YOU KNOW WHERE IT WASN'T YOUR PRIMARY LANGUAGE BUT AT THAT MOMENT IT WAS THE THING THAT WAS MOST MEANINGFUL TO YOU. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED IN THE OFF CHANCE THAT MAYBE THERE'S SOMEBODY THAT'S VISITING FROM OUTER SPACE AND IS NEVER HEARD WHAT THESE LANGUAGES FIGHT LIKE THAT IS I CAN JUST RUN THROUGH THEM REAL QUICKLY. WHAT ARE THE 501 OF THEM IS WORDS OF AFFIRMATION JUST TELLING THEM THINGS THAT YOU APPRECIATE ABOUT THEM.

ONE IS ACTS OF SERVICE, DOING THINGS FOR THE OTHER PERSON THAT YOU KNOW THEY WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO DO ANOTHER IS RECEIVING GIFTS TO GIVE SAYS TO YOU, THEY WERE THINKING ABOUT ME WHEN WE WERE PARKED. LOOK WHAT THEY GOT FOR ME AND THEN THERE'S QUALITY TIME GIVING THEM YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. THAT'S TVS DOWN WERE NOT LISTEN TO OUR COMPUTERS WERE JUST GIVEN THEM OUR FULL ATTENTION. WE CAN BE WALKING OR SITTING WE CAN BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE, BUT THEY HAVE OUR FULL ATTENTION IN THE NUMBER FIVE IS PHYSICAL TOUCH. SO THOSE ARE THE FIVE AND THE BASIC MESSAGE IS EACH OF US HAS A PRIMARY LOVE LANGUAGE AND IF YOU DON'T SPEAK THEIR PRIMARY LANGUAGE. YOU CAN SPEAK SOME OF THE OTHERS AND I WILL NOT BE FEELING LOVED, BUT IF YOU SPEAK THEIR PRIMARY ON A REGULAR BASIS. YOU CAN SPRINKLE IN THE OTHER FOUR FOR EXTRA CREDIT OKAY. I LIKE THAT AND I THE WAY I LOOK AT IT IS THAT THIS THE POWER OF THIS LOVE LANGUAGE CONCEPT IS YOU WANT TO EXPRESS LOVE TO THE PERSON THAT YOU KNOW YOUR YOUR FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND OR YOUR YOUR CHILD, YOUR SPOUSE, YOU WANT TO EXPRESS LOVE YOU'RE NOT GETTING THROUGH.

IT COULD BE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SPEAKING TO THEM IN SWAHILI AND SPEAKING TO THEM IN ENGLISH OR WHATEVER THEIR MAIN LANGUAGE IS YOU CAN HAVE ALL OF THE THOUGHTS BEHIND YOU AND THE WORDS ARE JUST PERFECT. BUT IF YOU'RE SPEAKING A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE THAN THEY UNDERSTAND THEN THEY'RE NOT GOING TO GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING AND THAT KIND HELPED ME IN THE KIND OPEN MY MIND TO WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A LONG TIME AGO EXACTLY THE CONCEPT THAT COUPLES MISS EACH OTHER IN THEIR MARRIAGE BECAUSE THE ONE IS EXPRESSING LOVE IN A WAY THAT'S MEANINGFUL TO THEM AND I THINK THE OTHER PERSON SURELY KNOWS I LOVE THEM. LOOK. LOOK WHAT I'M DOING, YOU KNOW THAT THE OTHER PERSON HAS A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE SO THEY'RE NOT GETTING IT, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE SERIOUS IN YOUR SINCERE THANK YOU FOR THAT QUESTION.

IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION, A FOLLOW-UP TO THIS 866424 GARY LEAVE A MESSAGE. TURN YOUR RADIO DOWN THE BACKGROUND OR PULL OVER THE SIDE OF THE ROAD SO WE CAN HEAR YOU CLEARLY. 186-6424 GARY NEXT UP IS A SUGGESTION FOR THOSE WHO ARE SINGLE AFTER DIVORCE MARY HAVE CLEAR PODCAST. MORE IMPORTANTLY, OUR LOVE FOR YOU TO HOLD A CONFERENCE TREAT, BUT THOSE OF US WHO ARE WRESTLING WITH STILL BEING SINGLE AFTER BEING DIVORCED AGAIN CONDUIT OF MORE THE ONE THAT YOU WERE MARRIED TO AND IT DIDN'T WORK OUT THAT NOW WE MARRIED AND YEARS HAVE GONE BY WAS STILL SINGLE AND BLAME THE ENCOURAGED GROUP AT HER THAT DISAPPOINTMENT THAT LONELY, BUT I DO THINK THAT THAT CATEGORY OF SINGLENESS IS A GROUP THAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED BY THE CHURCH AND THE REALITY IS THERE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THAT CATEGORY GOING THROUGH THE PAIN OF DIVORCE AND THEIR SINGLE AND HAVE BEEN SINGLE FOR A LONG TIME IT'S DIFFERENT FROM ONE WHO SINGLE BECAUSE HER SPOUSE DIED BECAUSE THE DYNAMICS OF A DEATH AND DIVORCE ARE VERY VERY DIFFERENT. SO, I CAN CERTAINLY HEAR HER. HER DESIRE FOR HELP IN YOU KNOW WHAT, WHAT DOES SHE DO AND THE ONE THING I WOULD SUGGEST FIRST OF ALL IS TO TRY TO FIND A GROUP IN YOUR CHURCH, OR IF NOT IN YOUR CHURCH AND ANOTHER CHURCH THAT HAS A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY BECAUSE IN THOSE CHURCHES THAT HAVE A SINGLE ADULT MINISTRY. THEY TYPICALLY WILL HAVE WORKSHOPS OR ARE REGULAR MEETINGS WHERE THEY DEAL WITH TOPICS THAT RELATE TO HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE LONELINESS AND HOW YOU HANDLE THE GRIEF AND HOW DO YOU REACH HOW DO YOU BUILD NEW FRIENDSHIPS BECAUSE HOPEFULLY YOU GOT HAVE A FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE BEFORE LEADS TO TO BECOMING A MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP AND AND IF IF YOU DO CONTEMPLATE REMARRIAGE IN THEIR SOMEONE THAT SURFACES ONE OF THE THINGS YOU NEED TO BE LOOKING AT IN PREPARATION FOR THAT. THERE ARE BOOKS OUT ON THAT TOPIC. RON, DO YOU LIKE TO BE JUST GOOGLE HIS NAME YOU'LL FIND THE BOOK MOST RECENTLY PUT OUT FOR THOSE THAT ARE THINKING ABOUT REMARRIAGE AFTER DIVORCE, THERE IS HELP.

THERE'S WHAT I'M SAYING. WHATEVER TOWN YOU'RE IN. I WOULD CALL SOME OF THE CHURCHES OF YOUR CHURCH DOESN'T HAVE A SINGLE ADULT GROUP AND ASK IF THEY DO AND HOPEFULLY YOU WILL FIND ONE BECAUSE THEY WILL BE DISCUSSING THESE KIND OF ISSUES. SO WHAT I HEAR YOU SAYING GARY IS DON'T STAY ISOLATED. DON'T WAIT FOR GARY CHAPMAN TO COME UP WITH THE SEMINAR FOR THE CONFERENCE.

AND HONESTLY, THERE MAY BE CONFERENCES LIKE THAT OUT THERE RIGHT NOW, BUT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS TAKE A STEP TOWARD OTHERS TO GET SOME OF THESE QUESTIONS ANSWERED AND TO MOVE TOWARD OTHER PEOPLE. IS THAT WHAT WE'RE SAYING YES I THINK CHRIS IF WE SIMPLY STAY TO OURSELVES AND WE DON'T REACH OUT TO BUILD FRIENDSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER SINGLES AS WELL AS OTHER MARRIAGE, FOR THAT MATTER.

ISOLATION IS NOT THE ANSWER IT'S FINDING OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE WALKING IS SIMILAR TO OURS WHERE WE CAN DISCUSS WHAT'S GOING ON IN OUR LIVES AND REALLY BUILD FRIENDSHIPS WITH THOSE PEOPLE SO THAT'S THE WAY I'M TRIED TO ENCOURAGE HER TO MOVE ENJOY Building Relationships WITH DR. GARY CHAPMAN VISIT OUR WEBSITE. FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES.COM AREA. FIND OUT MORE ABOUT DR. CHAPMAN HIS NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER, "The 5 Love Languages" AND MORE OUR RESOURCE FOR TODAY IS THE BOOK THAT WILL HELP YOU CELEBRATE THE REAL REASON FOR CHRISTMAS. IT'S TITLED EXTRAORDINARY GRACE HOW THE UNLIKELY LINEAGE OF JESUS REVEALS GOD'S AMAZING LOVE GOT A FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES.COM TO FIND OUT MORE ON HER DEAR DEAR BROADCAST.

WE TAKE YOUR QUESTIONS AND IF YOU WANT TO ASK ONE CALL US AT 186-6424 GARY AT 866424 GARY, THIS IS NOT A LIVE CALL, BUT YOU'LL RECORD YOUR MESSAGE AND THEN WE'LL PLAY IT ON A FUTURE DEAR GARY BROADCAST 866424 GARY, YOU MAY NOT KNOW THEY GARY JUST RETIRED FROM HIS CHURCH IN WINSTON-SALEM NORTH CAROLINA.

AFTER 50 YEARS OF MINISTRY THERE REALLY HAD A LITTLE BIT OF THAT SERVICE IN OUR NEXT DEAR GARY, WHEN WE HEAD TOWARD THE END OF THE YEAR BUT LISTEN TO THIS. GOOD QUESTION ABOUT CULTIVATING A HEART FOR YOUR PASTOR. DURING OUR I WANT LOVE AND HAD A PROBLEM AGAIN LINING OUT OBVIOUSLY WOULD BE INTERESTING TO KNOW WHY SHE STRUGGLING WITH LOVING HER PASTOR.

MAYBE SHE'S HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH HIM. MAYBE SHE TRIED TO TALK WITH HIM ABOUT A PROBLEM AND HE EITHER KINDA DISMISSED IT, OR DID NOT WAS NOT EMPATHETIC WITH WHAT SHE WAS SAYING MAYBE SHE DOESN'T REALLY APPRECIATE HIS PREACHING AND DOESN'T FEEL LIKE SHE'S GETTING QUOTE FADED SPIRITUALLY BY THE PATENT. THERE MANY REASONS WHY MEMBERS OF THE CHURCH MAY SOMETIMES FEEL DISAPPOINTED IN THEIR PASTOR ARE UNHAPPY WITH THEIR PASTOR. SO THE REASON WHY SHE MAY BE STRUGGLING WITH LOVING HER PASTOR, YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT REASON.

SO IF I WERE SITTING DOWN WITH HER. I WOULD SAY WHY DO YOU HAVE TROUBLE LOVING YOUR PASTOR AND I WOULD TRY TO DEAL WITH THAT ISSUE BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHY. AND IT'S DEALING WITH THE WITH THE ISSUE BEHIND THAT AND WHERE WERE INSTRUCTIVE HORSES CHRISTIANS TO LOVE EACH OTHER THAT JESUS SAID THIS IS THE WAY THE NON-CHRISTIAN WILL KNOW THAT YOU FOLLOWING ME WHAT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER AND WE CAN LOVE SOMEONE WOULD ALL LIKE BECAUSE LOVE IS NOT A FEELING. LOVE IS A CHOICE AND LOVE IS AN ATTITUDE IT'S THE ATTITUDE OF I WANT TO ENRICH THE OTHER PERSON'S LIFE SO CHOOSING THE LOVE A PASTOR DOESN'T MEAN YOU PROTECT THE APPRECIATE HIS PREACHING. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE WARM FEELINGS TOWARD HIM, BUT IT MEANS I CHOOSE TO DO SOMETHING TO ENRICH HIS LIFE AND THAT MAY BE GIVING GIFTS.

IT MAY BE GIVING WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, ON THE ONE POINT IN HIS SERMON THAT SHE REALLY DID APPRECIATE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE THREE YOU DID LIKE TELLING THE ONE YOU LIKED BUT IT'S REACHING OUT TRYING TO ENRICH THE OTHER PERSON'S LIFE, NOT TO CRITICIZE HIM NOT TO PUT THEM DOWN, BUT FINDING A WAY TO COMMUNICATE TO THEM THAT YOU VALUE THEM AS A PERSON, SO TO ME IT'S RIGHT IT'S REALIZING IT'S NOT A FEELING. LOVE IS NOT THE FEELING LOVE IS AN ATTITUDE AND WE CHOOSE OUR ATTITUDES. WE DON'T CHOOSE OUR FEELINGS WE CHOOSE OUR ATTITUDES OR THE GREATEST WAYS TO LOVE ANOTHER PERSON SPECIALLY PASTORS TO PRAY ARIGHT, AND I THINK EVERY PASTOR LISTENING WOULD SAY IF IF MY PEOPLE IN THE PEW WOULD COME AT ME AND SAY HEY PASTOR, WHAT'S THE ONE THING I CAN PRAY FOR YOU THIS WEEK ABOUT THAT WOULD JUST LIGHTEN THE LOAD YOU KNOW AND AND THEN IT WOULD ALSO WOULD GET HER INTO THE WORLD OF THE PASTOR A LITTLE MORE THAT SHE MADE ON UNDERSTAND ALL THE PRESSURES IF SHE'S BEEN SLIGHTED IN SOME WAY IN THE PAST.

PRAYER AS IT IS A GOOD DEAL AND ABSOLUTELY AND IT IS A WAY OF LOVING OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE PRAYER IS A MINISTRY PREACHING IS A MINISTRY PRAYER IS A MINISTRY GOD USES PREACHING TO TOUCH PEOPLE'S HEARTS.

GOD USES PRAYER TO MOVE INTO PEOPLE'S LIFE. SO YEAH ONE OF THE WAYS TO LOVE IT MAY BE THE MOST POWERFUL WAY LEASE TO BEGIN IS TO BEGIN BY PRAYING FOR YOUR PASTOR AND ONE OTHER NOTE TO THE PASTORS ARE NOT PERFECT AND THEY MAKE MISTAKES AND THERE IS BEEN ABUSE IN THE PAST AS WELL. I'VE TAUGHT THOSE FOLKS AND SO IF A PASTOR IS ABUSING THE AUTHORITY OF THAT POSITION IN SOME WAY YOU TO CALL THEM ON THIS IN A IN A BIBLICAL WAY IS ACTUALLY A LOVING THING TO DO. IT'S NOT SAYING WILL PASTOR YOUR TOUCH NOT GOD'S ANOINTED.

THAT'S NOT LOVING THEM. WELL, IF THEY'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG OR IF YOU FEEL THAT AND THAT NEEDS TO COME TO LIGHT. DON'T YOU THINK I THINK SO. CHRISTIAN PRAYER, JESUS SAID IF SOMEBODY IS OFFENDED IF SOMEBODY SENDS AGAINST DO YOU THINK WHAT THEY'RE DOING IS WRONG.

YOU GO CONFRONT THEM AND AND PERHAPS THEY WILL REPENT AND YOU CAN FORGIVE THEM. IF NOT, IT SAYS YOU KNOW YOU TELL THE CHURCH ABOUT IT AND SO I WOULD SAY IN THIS CASE YOU WOULD GO TO THE ELDERS ARE THE DEACONS OF YOUR CHURCH AND ONE ELEMENT SAY YOU DON'T HEAR SOMETHING. I'M CONCERNED ABOUT AND MAYBE I'M READING THIS WRONGLY OR MAYBE YOU HEARD WRONGLY, BUT I JUST FELT LIKE SOME OF OUR LEADERSHIP NEEDS TO KNOW THIS AND YOU SHARE WITH THE LEADERSHIP WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO IF THE PASTOR DOING SOMETHING THAT REALLY IS NOT HEALTHY AND NOT GOOD. YES, IT NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT TO HIS ATTENTION. WELL, THIS IS OUR DEAR GARY BROADCAST FOR NOVEMBER AND IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE A QUESTION AT THAT NUMBER 866424 GARY WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. WE HAD A PROGRAM NOT LONG AGO ABOUT DATING AND THIS QUESTION COMES FROM A BELIEVES THAT PROGRAM. I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO HEAR THIS. IT DEALS WITH THE IMPORTANCE THAT OF AN ISSUE THAT MANY SINGLES ARE DEALING WITH TODAY. YOUR Finding THAT WINE AND WHILE I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING THAT ABOUT CONSIDERATIONS ENTITLING SOMEONE THAT WINE I WOULD ALSO WARN PEOPLE ABOUT THE DANGERS OF THINKING THAT THERE IS ONE PARENT ONCE TOLD ME, BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE AROUND SOMEBODY TO LET THEIR GUARD DOWN FOR COMPASS TO GUARD OUR HEARTS. AND IF YOU WRITE YOUR CAR AGAIN YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF DEVELOPING FEELINGS OR SOMEONE ELSE WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING. AND TELL YOUR GUY STUFF IN A PICKLE SPELL THAT OUT THERE THAT THE TECHNICALITY OF THEIR BEING JUST ONE KICK IN THE CHURCH DAILY THOUGHT THAT HUMAN HEARTS AND WE CAN ALL END UP IN PUBLIC PEOPLE THAT WE DON'T INTEND TO BE THINK IT'S A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE AND WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT FINDING THE RIGHT ONE FROM GOD'S PERSPECTIVE. GOD KNOWS OUR LIVES. GOD KNOWS WHETHER THE PERSON WERE DATING NOW WOULD BE A GOOD PARTNER FOR US FOR A LIFETIME. WHETHER WOODEN SO IN THAT SENSE SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY NO I'M LOOKING FOR THE ONE THAT GOD HAS FOR ME SO NOT OPPOSED TO SAYING THAT DOOR TO USING THAT TERM BUT I UNDERSTAND WHAT THE CALLER SAYING SOMETIMES. IF YOU HAVE THE IDEA THAT IF I HAVE THESE WARM BUBBLY STRONG FEELINGS FOR THIS PERSON HERE. THEY ARE THE ONE WELL YOU CAN HAVE THOSE WROUGHT ALONG HARD BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL FEELINGS FOR THE OTHER PERSON AND MAY NOT BE A GOOD PERSON FOR YOU TO SPEND THE REST YOUR LIFE WITH.

THAT'S WHY IN MY BOOK ARE THINGS I WISH I'D KNOWN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED I DEAL WITH SOME ISSUES THAT NEED TO BE DISCUSSED AND LOOKED AT CAREFULLY AND HONESTLY BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED. SO DON'T JUST ASSUME THAT IF YOU HAVE THE STRONG FEELINGS AND THIS IS THE ONE BECAUSE IT MAY NOT BE THE ONE YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHO THE PERSON IS IF YOU DON'T DEAL WITH SOME OF THESE BIGGER ISSUES AND DISCUSS THEM CLEARLY AND OPENLY AND I THINK THAT PARTLY IS DUE TO OUR DESIRE TO GET I REALLY WANT TO DO GOD'S WILL IN MY LIFE AND I I WANT TO MAKE ALL THE BEST DECISIONS THEY CAN FROM THE VERY SMALL TO THE VERY BIG AND HOW HOW COULD YOU NOT CONSIDERED A LIFELONG MATE EACH ONE OF THE BIGGEST DECISIONS IS NOT THE BIGGEST THAT YOU EVER MAKE IN YOUR LIFE SO THAT IT KINDA COMFORTS ME TO KNOW THAT GOD IS SOVEREIGN AND HE HAS THIS OTHER PERSON IN MIND, BUT YOU CAN REALLY GET OFF TRACK WITH THAT AFTER YOU FIND THAT PERSON AND THEN THEY DON'T BECOME THE PERSON THAT YOU THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING AND YOU THOUGHT THAT YOU CAN CHANGE THEM INTO THAT PERSON THEN YOU START LOOKING AROUND.

WELL, IF I MISS THAT THERE MUST THE RIGHT PERSON MUST BE OUT THERE SO I I'VE ALWAYS LIKED IT WHEN I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY THAT YOU NOT AS MUCH. LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON, THE ONE PERSON YOU'RE LOOKING TO BE THE RIGHT PERSON YOU DEVELOP YOUR OWN DESIRES AND AND FOLLOWING AFTER HARD AFTER GOD, SO THAT WHEN YOU MEET THAT OTHER PERSON THAT YOU WILL BE AS MATURE AND HEALTHY RELATIONALLY AS YOU CAN BE THINK IF EVERYONE DID THAT CHRIS THEN WE WOULD ALL MAKE GOOD DECISIONS BECAUSE ALL OF GOD'S CHILDREN WILL BE WONDERFUL PEOPLE ABOUT WERE ALL IN PROCESS IS THE REALITY. AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND A QUOTE PERFECT PERSON THAT IS. I MEAN, A PERSON THAT YOU NOTICE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT, BUT PURSUING GOD. THAT'S THE ISSUE.

ONE OF THE BIG ISSUES. ARE THEY REALLY PURSUING GOD AND NOT JUST CHRISTIANS.

YOU KNOW THAT WORD CAN BE USED VERY LIGHTLY AND MEAN A LOT OF THINGS A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT ARE THEY REALLY PURSUING A WALK WITH GOD ON A DAILY BASIS. IF THEY ARE, THAT'S A VERY POSITIVE THING BECAUSE IF THEY'RE DOING THAT THEY WILL BE WILLING TO CHANGE THAT WILL BE WANTING TO CHANGE THEIR BE WANTING TO GROW IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP, AND IN THEIR LIFE BECOMING MORE AND MORE LIKE CHRIST AND THE MORE WE BECOME LIKE CHRIST MANNED THE EASIER MARRIAGE IS ALTOGETHER. THIS IS Building Relationships WITH DR. GARY CHAPMAN, AUTHOR OF THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER "The 5 Love Languages" YOU CAN FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE LOVE LANGUAGES CONCEPT TAKE AN ASSESSMENT TO DISCOVER YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE ABSOLUTELY FREE. PLUS, SEE THE FEATURED RESOURCE JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS.

IT'S TITLED EXTRAORDINARY GRACE HOW THE UNLIKELY LINEAGE OF JESUS REVEALS GOD'S AMAZING LOVE GOT A FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES.COM TO FIND OUT MORE GARY I WANT YOU TO HEAR THIS NEXT PHONE CALL. IT IS PERHAPS THE SADDEST ONE THAT WE RECEIVED HERE, AT LEAST IN IN RECENT MEMORY. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT TO SEE IF YOU HEAR WHAT I'VE HEARD, I THINK THERE'S HOPE, REPRESENTED IN OUR NEXT CALLERS SITUATION ON 24 UNDER LOOKED AT HIM ALIVE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY NEXT MOVE. I KIND OF RELATIONSHIP LIKE I GOT AWAY FROM GOD WITH SPLIT WOOD VALIDATED TALKING ABOUT IS HER BODY. HER RIGHT BUT SHE CHOSE AN OPTION WITH MY DECISION ON THE SONIC FIGURE OUT FOR A YOUNG MAN MYSELF ALWAYS BUT I LEFT IN A BAD WAY WITH THE LORD ON THE CHART BIGGER AMOUNT BACK TO HAND BECAUSE IT'S GONNA QUESTION YOU MIGHT TRY TO GET FROM THE START FIGURE OUT THE QUESTION ONLINE. WHETHER OR NOT IT WAS OUR PRAYER TO MAKE THE DECISION TO NOT IF I MAY PUT IN MORE CONVENIENT AND IF I WERE TO DO THE SAME IF SHE KEPT IT AS A FATHER I WOULD LOOK TO BE LOOKED AT ON DAY WORTHLESS BODY AND DEADBEAT BUT SHE HAD THE OPTION TO CHOOSE WHETHER OR NOT SHE WANTED TO KEEP HER DELETE AND IT CANNOT HURT BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE HAD A BAD WHERE UP-AND-DOWN LOT WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP, THAT REALLY GAY AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS CHEATED OUT OF AN OPTION IF YOU LIKE. IT SHOULD BE, TO PEOPLE'S CHOICE RATHER THAN LINE RANK BECAUSE THE LAW MAY BE ASKED TO HAVE A FULFILLMENT THAT PLEASURE ARE EXPECTED TO LEARN AND ARE NO FAIR HUMAN ONLY MAKE WRONG CHOICES BASED ON WILL BE CHOSE ON THE SHARP MARMALADE THAT, PER SUBSTANCE ABUSE OR LEARNING HOW THE DAY PART APPRECIATE IT THANKS ARE LOVE TO SEE THE ADDITION MAN IS STRUGGLING WITH PAIN THAT I FRACTURED RELATIONSHIP OF THE PERSON THAT HE THOUGHT THEY HAD A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP WITH MADE A DECISION THAT HE WAS NOT A PART OF IT. AND APPARENTLY THEY'RE SEPARATED NOW, SO HE STRUGGLING WITH HOW I FOUND MY WAY BACK TO GOD. I AM ENCOURAGED THAT HE'S THINKING ABOUT HOW TO FIND MY WAY BACK TO GOD BECAUSE THAT'S THE ULTIMATE HOPE.

HE MENTIONED THAT HE WAS STRUGGLING WITH SUBSTANCE ABUSE AS WELL. SO IN THE MIDST OF WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT HIS BROKENNESS, HIS BROKEN HEART OVER THIS RELATIONSHIP AND IN THE SUBSTANCE ABUSE. HE DESPERATELY NEEDS TO FIND HIS WAY BACK TO GOD. I THINK I THINK THIS BEGINS BY VISUALLY LOOKING AT THE CROSS OF CHRIST AND RECOGNIZE THAT WHAT HE DID ON THE CROSS WAS TO PAY OUR PENALTY FOR ALL OF OUR WRONGDOING AND THAT GOD WILL FORGIVE US IF WE LET HIM BE OUR SACRIFICE.

IF WE ACCEPT THE FACT THAT HE DIED FOR ME AND THEREFORE I'M GOING TO COME TO HIM ASK FOR HIS FORGIVENESS AND TURNED MY LIFE OVER TO HIM AND ASK HIM TO CONTROL MY LIFE FROM THIS POINT FORWARD THAT'S THAT'S THE FIRST BIG STEP THAT WE WE COME TO THAT DECISIVE POINT WHERE WE REALLY WILLING TO TURN OUR LIVES OVER TO HIM AND ACCEPT HIS FORGIVENESS AND ASK HIM TO GUIDE US STEP-BY-STEP INTO THE FUTURE.

GOD WILL DO THAT.

HE WILL GIVE YOU WISDOM. HE WILL GIVE YOU POWER TO BREAK SUBSTANCE ABUSE AND THAT HE WILL LEAD YOU TO PEOPLE WHO CAN HELP YOU DO THAT SO I THINK IN THE MIDST OF YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING, YOU'RE MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION WHEN YOU'RE REACHING OUT TRYING TO FIND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD GETTING BACK IN FELLOWSHIP WITH HIM SO I WOULD ALSO ENCOURAGE YOU TO REACH OUT TO A PASTOR OR CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR AND THEN, SHARE YOUR PAIN, YOUR HURT WITH THEM BECAUSE GOD USES PEOPLE TO HELP PEOPLE AND PASTORS AND COUNSELORS ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE A HEART FOR MINISTERING TO PEOPLE WHO ARE HURTING, STRUGGLING, SO DON'T DON'T TRY TO WALK IT ALONE TURN YOUR HEART TOWARD GOD, BUT ALSO REACH OUT TO GOD'S PEOPLE CHRISTIAN COUNTERS AND PASTORS ARE EVEN EVEN TO SOMEONE IS NOT A PASTOR. IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE THAT YOU ADMIRE AS A STRONG CHRISTIAN REACH OUT TO THEM AS WELL SO THEY CAN IF I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE PARTICULAR THING YOU'RE STRUGGLING WITH THEIR FIND SOMEBODY WHO WILL HELP YOU BECAUSE THERE IS HELP AND SO I WOULD JUST SAY DO WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MAKE IN THIS PHONE CALL JUST TO FOLLOW ANOTHER STEP NOW AND CONTACT SOMEBODY LOCALLY WHERE YOU ARE AND TO SHARE YOUR STORY WITH THEM AND LET THEM WALK WITH YOU AS WELL.

AND IF YOU ARE LISTENING.

THE YOUNG MAN THE 24-YEAR-OLD WHO CALLED OR IF YOU'RE IN THAT PLACE AND YOU KINDA HAVE HIT ROCK BOTTOM. RELATIONALLY YOUR THERE'S SOME KIND OF ADDICTION IN YOUR LIFE. DON'T LISTEN TO THE ENEMY'S LIES THAT SAYS YOU NEED TO CLEAN YOURSELF UP BEFORE YOU MAKE A PHONE CALL. YOU NEED TO CLEAN YOURSELF UP BEFORE YOU GO TALK TO A PASTOR BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEN I GOT TALK TO YOUR GOAL LOOK DOWN THERE AND DON'T YOU DARE LISTEN TO THAT BECAUSE THAT THAT'S THE TRUTH OF WHAT THE POWER OF GOD WILL DO.

IT'S NOT THAT WE CLEAN OURSELVES UP. HE COMES IN AND GIVES US THE POWER TO CHANGE, TO TRANSFORM SEVERE ICE WILL PAUSE RIGHT HERE WOULD YOU PRAY FOR THAT YOUNG MAN, AND FOR ANY OTHER MAN OR WOMAN WHO IS LISTENING WHO FEELS LIKE THEY ARE IN THAT YOU KNOW THAT BOTTOM PLACE IN THEIR LIFE THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN. SHIRLEY FATHER YOU KNOW THIS YOUNG MAN AND YOU KNOW OTHERS WHO CAN IDENTIFY WITH WHAT HE SAY BECAUSE THEY BEEN THROUGH SIMILAR THINGS AND I DO PRAY FOR THOSE WHO ARE RATHER DESPERATE AND ARE DEEPLY DISCOURAGED WORK IN THEIR HEARTS GIVE THEM AN AWARENESS THAT YOU ARE THERE AND THAT YOU SAID IF THEY TURN TO YOU. YOUR ARMS ARE WIDE OPEN. WHATEVER'S HAPPENED IN THEIR LIVES.

AND I PRAY THAT YOUR SPIRIT WILL TOUCH THEIR SPIRITS AND DRAW THEM TO YOURSELF AND LEAD THEM TO PEOPLE WHO CAN BE HELPFUL TO THEM. FATHER, THANK YOU THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS REACHING OUT TO US AND I PRAY FATHER THAT IN RETURN, THESE INDIVIDUALS WILL REACH OUT TO YOU FOR THEIR GOOD AND FOR YOUR GLORY IN THE NAME OF CHRIST. I MENTIONED LITTLE EARLIER GARY THAT YOU'VE JUST FINISHED 50 YEARS.

AT THE SAME CHURCH.

HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THAT YOUNG MAN SAID, HAVE YOU SEEN THAT OVER THOSE YEARS OF PEOPLE WHO SAY I'M AT THE END OF MYSELF.

I FEEL LOST. I NEED HELP AND THEY WALKED THROUGH THE DOORS. ABSOLUTELY CHRIS AND THEN THAT'S WHAT YOU KNOW PASTORS AND COUNSELORS US COUNSELORS. I WAS ON A PER CHURCH STAFF. BUT MY MINIMUM MAJOR MINISTRIES WAS COUNSELING AND THAT'S WHY WERE THERE WERE THERE TO HELP PEOPLE WERE NOT THERE TO CONDEMN PEOPLE. SOME PEOPLE HAVE THAT IF I REACH OUT TO SOMEONE IN THE CHURCH. THEY DON'T CONDEMN ME FOR WHAT I'VE DONE WELL THAT MAY HAPPEN IN SOME CHURCHES, BUT THAT'S NOT THE BIBLICAL PATTERN THE BIBLICAL PATTERN IS WHERE THEY ARE TO REACH OUT TO HURTING PEOPLE IN A JESUS HIMSELF SAID PEOPLE THAT ARE WELL DON'T LEADER DR. PEOPLE ARE SICK AND NEED A DOCTOR. THAT'S TRUE IN OUR LIVES. IF YOU GOT EVERYTHING GOING FINE. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU DON'T NEED GOD THAT IF YOU THINK YOU ARE GOING WELL. YOU RECOGNIZE, YOU NEED GOD AND THAT REALIZATION LEAD YOU TO REACH OUT FOR HELP. WELL, WE ARE THANKFUL THAT YOU'VE TRUSTED US WITH THAT QUESTION FOR DR. GARY CHAPMAN TODAY AND ISN'T IT INTERESTING HOW PEOPLE AND AND THE STRUGGLES THAT THEY'RE GOING THROUGH WILL HELP OTHERS.

I THINK OF THE MOTHER THAT WE HEARD FROM A LITTLE EARLIER. WHO DOES DOESN'T HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE SUN THAT SHE WANTS TO HAVE AND SHE ASKED THIS QUESTION AND YOU KNOW THERE'S ANOTHER MOM LISTENING WHO FEELS IN THAT SAME BOAT THAT FEELS A LITTLE BIT OF ENCOURAGEMENT BECAUSE OF HER VULNERABILITY IN THE GOOD ABSOLUTELY CHRIS. WHENEVER WE SHARE HURT. WE NOT ONLY HELP OURSELVES. WE HELP PEOPLE WELL BEFORE WE CONCLUDE TODAY. LET ME GIVE YOU HER NUMBER WHERE YOU CAN LEAVE A QUESTION FOR DR. CHAPMAN. YOU CAN MAKE A COMMENT AS WELL. A RESPONSE TO WHAT YOU'VE HEARD TODAY 186-6424 GARY IS OUR NUMBER 866424 GARY IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS OR COMMENT ABOUT SOME CALL OR ANSWER YOU HEARD TODAY AND DON'T FORGET TO COUNTER FEATURED RESOURCE EXTRAORDINARY GRACE THE UNLIKELY LINEAGE OF JESUS REVEALS GOD FIND THAT BOOK WRITTEN BY DR. CHAPMAN, AND YOURS TRULY FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES.COM FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES NEXT WEEK. WHAT YOU DO WHEN MAKING OTHERS HAPPY IS MAKING YOU MISERABLE YOUR SOME ANSWERS FROM KAREN ONE WEEK WILL A BIG THANK YOU TO OUR PRODUCTION TEAM.

STEVE LINCOLN, JANICE TODD. Building Relationships WITH DR. GARY CHAPMAN PRODUCTION OF ANY RADIO PUBLISHERS MINISTRY AT MOODY BIBLE INSTITUTE. THANKS FOR LISTENING


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